Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 94: Creepypasta V - Babybum

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

Halloween month kicks off with a collection of more of our favorite Creepypasta!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last part. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? What was that? Sort of the gay Star Wars intro. I'm Darth Gaiden.

That's interesting. Are we good to go Marcus? Alright, welcome to the show everybody. That's Marcus Parks. I'm Ben Kissel. I have no idea who the man is. He won. I sure hope I don't slip with some macaroni and fall ass first in your lightsaber. Sounds like you actually want to fall in the lightsaber. Oh, Winky Winky. No I don't.

Well it's interesting that Mr. Henry Zabrowski. He fooled you once again. It's interesting that you mentioned pasta. Every single time you think I'm somebody else. Every time. But I'm not at all. I'm just an encyclopedia of dumb accents and bad sentences. Brilliant, brilliant. Of course you mentioned pasta

and today we're discussing something pasta related, not homophobic, Barilla Pasta. Definitely not that. No, we are discussing creepy pasta. Yes, yes, it begins our countdown to Halloween. Let's play some spooky music. Scary, the scariest music.

Okay, that's kind of scary. Man, I just wish I had an organ in my apartment so I could just terrorize everyone and then come out and get my seamless delivery. Oh yeah. And then come out and be like, yes I got four beef burritos, thank you. Very interesting.

Three silverware. I ordered Chinese food the other night and I wanted to get the three silverware thing, but it's very difficult. I take pride in it. Never give me one set of silverware. Yeah, you always get the two. Which is kind of normal. You know what I'm talking about. Two general sours or whatever it might be.

Some spare ribs. You get the two sets. I wanted to go for the triple set of silverware. They only gave me two sets of silverware, but three sodas. I confused them. Let's just get back to how scary this is going to be. Okay, yeah. I mean, as scary as imagining your nine

five, nine by ten foot square that you jam a dirty mattress in that you lay in. Are you talking about my bedroom? You're discussing my bedroom. Yes, yes, yes, like Marty from our Black Serial Color episode. That's how I imagine you live.

Interesting. But this begins our countdown to Halloween. Later this month what we're doing is slowly loosening the locks on the cage that evil Angel Michael put Satan in 2000 years ago.

We're going to pop him open. So we can come out and play a double electric guitar while your tits fall off. That's great. Because that's what he does best. Bring back that 80s rock and roll, Satan. That's what I say. That's why we will be in Satan on Halloween. Now, again, we also want to remind you

for next week we are looking for listener stories. And we've got a couple of great ones and thank you for everyone who's submitted so far. But keep sending them. We want to be able to pick a bunch and we're going to try to figure out how do we record everybody. We're going to Skype everybody in. Because I imagine most of us here who listen to this

and also work on this have sort of a grave digger schedule. So we're going to try and do it so we can adjust it so we can get all of your nocturnal energy in there. Much like Martin from Human Centipede too. Kind of work in the overnight shifts. Alright, Henry.

Why don't you start us off with the first creepy... Send all of your ghost stories to cavecomedyradioatmail.com Okay, so let's set the scene. I trust that you're listening to this in a dark room or some sort of fluorescent

lit office. If you're driving, keep your eyes open though. Wherever you are, what I want you to do before we begin these stories, take off your shirt. I'm just saying, if we've known by now, it helps.

Okay? I don't care what your mom says. I don't care what your girlfriend says. Take off your shirt. Kick off the moccasins. Roll up a long, thick alligator hoof. Fucking spark it to your dome.

Alright? Get your crystals a-jangling. Open up the window just in case someone wants to slide up in there and caress you some sort of succubus. Do you just believe that all of our listeners are Native American? Because it seems like you're describing it. I think we got the last nine.

The last nine Native Americans are listening to us. My favorite podcast is Last Podcast on the Left. I like how they give still tribute to our ancient people. It does not dishonor my people. And of course, Native Americans are the most spiritual spirits and we respect your people. Let's now open a big,

creaky, dusty book. Waaaaaahhhhhh! Is there a cat in the book? I'm just trying to set. I'm just making a soundscape. We're trying to entertain people. Yes. And I will begin the first tale.

I was on summer break. This is not me by the way. Everyone knows it's not you. It wasn't me. You always had to work that entire week at the school I was working at borders. Yes, I Was on summer break and since I'd gotten a fair amount of cash from tutoring over last semester. I decided again not me No one ever let me tutor them. I Decided to go visit some friends in PA where I grew up I was hanging out with Heather and she had her friend Megan over

Oh, Megan was scared of pretty much everything from ghosts to clowns. You know how these these women can be that's the gamut All right, if she heard a floorboard creaking in the middle of the night, she'd be like who's that? So we decided to play a little prank on her God how I wish I could take it back. Oh He's full of shit We agreed to go visit on old abandoned house on the outskirts of town My idea was to go around dusk, but Megan's condition was she'd only go if we went in the middle of the day as If that wouldn't make much difference

So beforehand I got a hold of an old buddy of mine from grade school He used to be notorious with pranks and he was eager to be in on it. It was Banksy It was Banksy really well-hitted Prankster artists turned out to have a very nice career The plan was that that he'd dress up like a corpse make up and all and he'd hide in the abandoned house alone in one of the rooms Until we got there parking far away so that Megan didn't see his car upon entering then of course he'd pop out and scare the shit out of Megan We got to the house about 2 p.m. And all when it's planned man this house was disgusting

There was mold all over the walls and ceilings and the stench man the stench of death was here. Do not reference my bedroom Thank you. It wasn't like Ben Kissel's bedroom. That's weird that it right it did right It didn't know weird you know how they say we need a sarcasm font, right? I think it did that. Okay, so it was like it We went to the basement first, but of course we couldn't get Megan halfway down the stairs At the bottom were all these animal corpses like something had set up a layer there and held a feast There was mold all over the walls on there, too And I could swear there was a face in the molds grinning as if staring hungrily at the pile of cat corpses Nourished it. We could hear three men recording a podcast called last podcast on the left

Anyway, Megan wanted to leave but we insisted we had to check out the upstairs first then we'd go we have plenty of daylight We assured her and so she came mostly because she didn't want to wait outside alone We checked each room as we walked upstairs and God there was a lot of them It was about the fourth room I looked in that I saw my friend standing there staring at the door I'm printed I pretended to have seen nothing and continued on the whole when I heard Megan scream behind me and she bolted out of the house Heather and I stood there for a moment laughing and said she'd go catch up whether to make sure she's okay I agreed of course and decided I'd use that time of distraction to talk to my friend But when I look back into the room, he wasn't there. I

Passed the room and when Megan scream I turned back towards it and as I watch her run out of the hall down the stairs So I would have noticed some leaving as the room only has one door this naturally perplexed me So I called him on my phone, but it just kept ringing until it went to his voicemail. I Hung up and called him again That's about when I heard it Off in the distance a strange melody. I Followed the sound while holding the phone in my ear and it led me to the very end of the upstairs hallway I looked in the last room and immediately held my breath

The mold had completely covered all the walls and what looked like veins Extended through the floor reaching out from all sides to the middle where lay an oblong pool of freshly spilled blood Around the pool and all sides were torn bloody clothes and in the middle of the pool blood lay a cell phone Open and ringing. I didn't have to look to know what was my number showing on this display I closed my phone and the melody stopped I've never told anyone what happened that day not even Heather. I barely even thought about it until now To think what happened in that house before we got there

And the worst thing is I don't know if if blood damage is anything like water damage, but I don't think that's insured I don't think that's I don't think that works for Apple here. Yeah, I don't think it does I don't think you can buy that to the store. Yeah, so where'd you find it a pool of blood you say huh? Oh, well, I mean I got to check this trip in the back because of you know, if it's soaked with blood We can't get you a new one. Yeah, my friend died Yeah, so he's really nearly even thought of it until now. So his friend died horribly And he didn't even report it to the police. He didn't want to talk about it. It was scary. I'm so concerned about his own phone Yeah, that was things all about if the damage that it was phone, but that is horrifying. I just had my phone died

I dropped my phone the other day. Yeah, my screen broke. It was the worst two days of my life I had three days without my phone very horrific. I mean my grandpa died of cancer, but sure that's bad All the worst two days of my life. Mm-hmm. My my grandfather He used to work a lot with asbestos and he died because of asbestos cause lung cancer But I'll tell you was that when he was lining the walls of Dachau. No, this is my North Dakota grandfather not my very long Full of life opa who died at the peak age of 80. Yeah I heard they said something about how they knew it was lunchtime when they heard the laughter coming from the watchtower

Yes, yes, okay. Well, that's not someone said something about you dust being a secret to a long-lasting life Well, that's fantastic. It's been a fun episode Where you guys are saying things about me. I don't like All right, I'll just do this really quick when this one's called birthmarks. I'll do all the really quick ones Yeah, it's just pictures of Ben's disgusting birthmark. I have a couple of them. I I Well, yeah, I was going to Dave of course from Poo Poo Gate He he sent me a picture recently apparently that evening

He chose to draw on with a sharpie a large penis on my back And I wanted to share with the world but then that was kind of the first time I've ever seen my back and a lot of birthmarks Anyway That's some creepypasta that is the creepiest of all strips at Wisconsin lasagna noodles coming off that back of yours It's the only thing covering up these veins buddy. Yeah, every time you rub against a tree like a bear. Yeah, creepypasta Man a spooky Have we used that one yet?

My name is spooky Oh, it's a gossip. I don't know. I yeah, that's a good one. I do All right This one's not okay. This one's called birthmarks and it just says here I'm just reading it here. Oh and by the way before we go any further We have to think listener Peyton me door for sending us all of these Yes, this is he said it's a treasure trove of his stinkiest nuggiest creepypasta And that's it that is what is slapping your ears right now. Yeah, he sent us four emails full of crease creepypasta

So thank you so very yes. Yes a whole bunch of pictures of his balls with pumpkins drawn on Sure, there's a thank you for those as well. Oh, of course. Those are those are my personal favorite junk a ladder Yeah Creepypasta, I'm sure there's some weed dealer has been like, why do I have all these leftover aides? I think that fat guy deliver all the weed to must have not been researching this week this is birthmarks and You know some people have birthmarks Well, those marks were made when they tried to steal from your parents and replace you with one of your replicas

If you have a birthmark that means they failed if you know anyone that doesn't have one. I wouldn't trust them Whoa, I wouldn't trust them. So if you know drew this you can trust him That's a halfling thing. That's a halfling idea. Yeah, okay Halfling idea when elves would take human children to bring them to the elf world And then they'd come back and be like I draw pictures of my feet and I take pictures of my elbow scabs and Instagram And then you don't trust them. No, you can't trust them. Don't trust an elf. All right This one is called gateway of the mind. Oh, I like it in 1983 a team of deeply pious scientists conducted a radical experiment in an undisclosed Undisclosed facility the scientists had theorized that a human without access to any senses or ways to perceive stimuli

Would be able to perceive the presence of God They believe that the five senses clouded our awareness of eternity and without them a human could actually establish contact with God by Thought an elderly man who claimed to have nothing to left to live for was the only test subject to volunteer To purge him of all his senses the scientists performed a complex operation in which every sensory nerve connection to the brain Was surgically severed although the test subject retained full muscular function He could not see hear taste smell or feel it must be so relaxing With no possible way to communicate with or even since the outside world He was alone with his thoughts

Scientists monitored him as he spoke aloud about his state of mind and jumbled slurred sentences that he couldn't even hear After four days the man claimed to be hearing hushed unintelligible voices in his head Assuming it was an onset of psychosis. The scientists paid little attention to the man's concerns two days later The man cried that he could hear his dead wife speaking with him and even more he could communicate back The scientists were intrigued but were not convinced until the subject started naming dead relatives of the scientists Now I can't see here smell a taste of speak you gotta stop you'd never gave me an orgasm You didn't know I'm not around all these men. Don't say that around all these men I'm just getting a shit bang out of me my most hot heaven right now. You bastard

You repeated personal information to the scientists that only their dead spouses and parents would have known at this point a sizable portion Of scientists left the study after a week of conversing with the deceased through his thoughts The subject became distressed saying the voices were overwhelming and every waking moment His consciousness was bombarded by hundreds of voices that refused to leave him alone He frequently threw himself against the wall trying to elicit a pain response He begged the scientists for sedatives so he could escape the voices by sleeping this tactic worked for three days Until he started having severe night terrors the subjects repeatedly the subject repeatedly said that he could see and hear the deceased in his dreams Only a day later the subject began to scream and clawed his non-functional eyes

Hoping to sense something in the physical world the hysterical subject now said the voices of the dead were deafening and hostile Speaking of hell in the end of the world at one point. He yelled no heaven. No forgiveness For five hours straight He continually begged to be killed but the scientists were convinced that he was close to establishing contact with God We're closer the math is adding up. We got all of them. We gotta let him close eyes out. There's scientists After another day the subject could no longer form coherent sentences Seemingly mad he started a bite off chunks of flesh from his arm

The scientists rushed into the test chamber and restrained him to a table so he could not kill himself After a few hours of being tied down the subject halted his struggling and strength screaming He stared blankly at the ceiling as teardrops silently streaked across his face for two weeks The subject had to be manually rehydrated due to the constant crying Eventually he turned his head and despite the blindness made focused eye contact with a scientist for the first time in the study He whispered I have spoken with God and he has abandoned us Rock and roll. That's great You know everyone's shat on Kevorkian so much for ending the lives of people who you know swore

I don't want to live anymore like as soon as you say that like a hundred times. It's like okay. You don't have to oh Yeah, you're done. I guess yeah, I guess your tank's on empty Yeah, compared to these scientists and that those doctors that kept that Terry Shiveau and many like her alive. They're the monsters I wish you'd have all gone to prison. Oh, yeah, but she was having a great time. Just see and she was seeing um You know Marcel Marceau was right. She was having a great time. That's why like they just concede you're going like when she was going like I'm going like I'm having a party in here. Yeah, I'm having a party. Don't stop the party. Yeah, I remember that Yeah, she looked to be having a great time a lot of hallucinogens I read this horrifying story the other day about a man who had been in a coma for 25 years

And they found out that he was conscious the entire Jesus Christ. That is my worst nightmare Yeah, the the entire time they finally looked into his brainwaves and they hooked something up to his brain Where he could communicate with the outside world and he was finally he was able to tell them like that he reached almost a So he reached a point of Zen though so this guy didn't hate it so much through meta He said the first ten years were a living hell. Oh, it's the first ten years Okay, okay, that's enough ten years And then he eventually started going just having these inner lives that were just bizarre and now he says he He said that he felt like he had a second birth

Well, you know what you started to communicate with people what that just reminded me of and I thought about this You know like during the Shiavo's Shiavo things like that and a lot of these people in vegetative states It is sort of a second life. Yeah, you know You can create an entirely different reality, which is kind of plays into the idea. You could be a basketball player You could be a superhero. Yeah, man, that must be great I would just pretend to be like this really hot dude lying in a hospital bed all the nurses pampering me I think it'd be like a sexy lady like talking to like big powerful heads of state and like Blowing them for secrets. You want to be like a Monica Lewinsky? I don't know what secrets she got. I'd be a firefighter in Iowa. Oh

Just go right over there Iowa. I like this next piece of creepy pasta because it it's reminds me of what of a union Mass collective unconsciousness. Oh, yes, it's called just be careful out there Many classic horror icons such as gaegers xenomorphs Silent Hills pyramid head and other disturbing creatures share common characteristics Pale skin dark sunken eyes elongated faces sharp teeth and the like These images inspire horror and revulsion and many and with good reason the characteristics Characteristics shared by these faces are imprinted in the human mind

Many things frighten humans instinctively the fear is natural and does not need to be reinforced in order to terrify The fears are species-wide stemming from dark times in the past when lightning could mean the burning of your tree home Thunder could be the approaching gallops of a stampede Predators could hide in darkness and heights could make poor footing lethal for the monkey people The question you have to ask yourself is this What happened deep in the hidden eras before history began that could affect the entire human race so evenly as To give the entire species a deep Instinctual and lasting fear of pale beings with dark sunken eyes razor sharp teeth and elongated faces

It's Holden McNeely Just be careful out there That's it. That's it. Yeah, very scary. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I do really believe that They that's a part of the belief that you know, we've had aliens or so That's what the graze did is inspire stories of angels and demons from a long time ago and gods and and Devils and what about does that tie into it all? What is the the nation of Islam? What's the name of our kube? Yeah, kube. Yeah, perhaps that ties into that as well. I wonder I mean I don't know. It sounds like white white folks with razor sharp teeth

It does it does definitely sound like you know, like sir Lord Laundromere or went to like collect primitive people now Why people have only been around for 6,000 years and this goes way far back into the human collective unconscious We've only been around for 6,000 years. Yeah, that's when ya kube invented us. Yeah, so we're bored. We're we're Regular we're regular babies out there. Yeah, one of the grand scheme of things But I really do believe there are certain things that are just instinctually scary besides just the resemblance to hold to McNeely You know, and it I think a lot of it. I there is something to it. Yeah, describes a crystal meth addict. Yeah Sunken eyes razor sharp teeth white. Yeah, that's meth. That's meth. That's a meth addict if I've ever seen one

I'm all right this little guy. It's called roulette During your day. There are probably a half a dozen moments where you can't see if only for a split second not like blinking Of course, that's far too quick. Just never happen. I'm gonna say this. You don't blink No, no, no, I'm too aware Hyper aware Henry Zabrowski Just that moment when you're taking off your shirt or wiping your face with a towel It just says that that brief instant where you're plunged into darkness every time this occurs. You're playing roulette a game Unbeknownst to you, of course

Every time that happens there is something waiting eagerly to pull you into that darkness that only happens if you lose of course One day you might open your eyes to find that you're not where you were before There are unsolved missing person cases every week those people they they lost They lost, you know, I mean we have thousands of undocumented disappearances every year like what they talk about a they there's a concept in Legal terms is called missing missing the missing missing which is people know that are missing Yeah, they see the big thing that happens with Children in homeless families, which is like people that are never even like legally recorded that go missing

But if they're missing missing then they're not missing well technically, maybe they never existed, right? But they're but there is like gaps in the numbers of how many people are born in hospitals every year and then how many people are actually yet And you know, there's a lot to that like and there's we did a whole episode about the disappearances the National Forest that happens every Every day people go missing they there was a story we talked about it Commonly related to UFO phenomenon but people talking about like friends going missing like a while you're hanging out with them And then they're gone and you never see them again I'll also turn the term, you know glitches in the matrix. Yeah, right, right? It's also a big one. Yeah, all right

That's a real blessing. That's what I say some of my friends would start to go missing Hmm interesting you said his evidence interesting interest. I got one for you So you're with your honey and you're making out when the phone rings you answer it in the voices What are you doing with my daughter? You tell your girl and she say my phone is dead. My dad is dead. Then who was phone? We still don't know Who was phone? I always love it. It just never gets old Oh man

God I gotta know who was phone. What if that's what the uh, oh my god Who was phone? Who was phone? I accidentally said my phone is dead instead of my dad is dead Well, we lost all credibility there. Yeah, everyone's gonna know about it We're gonna be laughed off the show. So I'm gonna read another one. Yeah Should I read tourist trap retour like tourist trip? In rural, Wisconsin, there was an old abandoned park Built in the 1920s. It served as the town's gathering place for everyone That is until a newly developed train and tunnel for Tots ride was installed in 1932

It was an innocent-looking childish train with one main mechanized head car with three small trolleys pulled behind it It went around some loops before going into a small child-sized tunnel But this is where the story gets weird There were numerous cases of child deaths that year all of them happening after the child rode in that train system and When it stopped in front of the Kissel house, mm-hmm interesting Some kids went missing in that short tunnel about 10 feet and others went comatose after leaving one upon exiting was found to be dead Her dress was covered in what looked like small bloody hand prints

Some killed themselves by scratching at their throats until they had bled out and one of them even killed another child before hanging herself With razor wire at the family's farm Wow, that's a great thing to hang yourself with though It's the best thing to hang yourself with the park was closed in town's popularity is a tourist town plummeted Also, the name of it. It was called Balsak, Wisconsin. Oh Balsak. Yeah, I heard about Balsak. Yeah Recently a team of scientists were sent out to the park They taped a video camera to the train and put a new intern in with it, of course because they work for free this government Before sending on its way to the tracks

When the train left the tunnel it was empty except for the camera The last 10 seconds were nothing but static Save for the sound of children laughing. They were loving it. They loved the ride. So who was better off? Loved it so much again. Yeah, why not again? Don't save them. They're having a good time I mean, I guess their ghosts are always on a wonderful child's ride That's not the worst place for a kid to go, you know, if I could die on the zipper that would be kind of fun Yeah, it was a very interesting I mean, then they're still laughing at the clown in heaven. Yeah, it's sort of like with Daisy

But I think they saw that he really did that though Well, at some point Gacy's makeup became like the ultimate warriors makeup halfway through a match We're just kind of like sweat off of his face Then you really got to see what a hideous monster He was did you ever read about that the one like one of the survivors that got away from him They were talking about how like basically he came over that he's like 15 They're working and they're like hanging out in his living room like Gacy's like giving him beers and they're sitting in the living room They're drinking together

And Gacy's like wait right here Goes in the room. This is totally true goes into his room comes back out full clown regalia, right? And he starts going like walking like Like making this like laughter grabs him right does the magic rope trick that we always like talk about like put him in right and Then it starts going in like what's the magic rope the magic rope trip was a board with a with a basically a He had this thing it was a loop of rope through a board that had a sort of twisting I don't know what the term mechanism like a mechanism on the back of it And he put him in it and he's like this is a magic trick little right right

And so it's like him fighting and fighting and what happened was that he was sitting and they were like laughing and joking and then Gacy kept poking him in the chest going like can't fucking take it can't take it and he's just like stop it stop All right, stop it and he's just like you can't fucking take a joke You can't take a joke. He's sort of like screw it like he basically he came out. He was like he just saw stage 7 Gacy and lived to say it like it But you want to hear John Wayne Gacy Demonstrating the rope trick. Yeah, yeah, check it out. He was simply discussing not in general catch his sense of humor

Julie's in trouble He's a trouble This is too long. I don't need it this long. He's actually one of the funnier clowns that I can think of though okay, I had a rosary Which I carried in my pocket. I've always carried a rosary. It was my communion Rosary because what what kind of a not to you use they said, what do you mean not when I tie things up I Says depending on what I'm using it for I said the only thing I ever learned was from Boyk's house is a tourniquet not

He said we'll show us what that is so I took at that time in again It's together, but in order to demonstrate it here I took the rosary and I said, well here you put it around Let's put your hand out. Yeah, yeah Classic trigger that's what he did it every fucking time he did it for years and I said then you put a second knot in it okay, I Just then you take a stick and stick it in here and you just turn this And I says it causes an attorney kid. Yeah, I said that's the only not I ever learned

Precisely the kind of knot found on the ropes wrapped around the necks of the victims found under the house on Somerdale So basically he would just screw the yeah, and then he'd laugh He'd fucking start stabbing him. Yeah. Yeah, and then you suck at some point. He gets rock hard and well He was already rock hard a lot of times he would make them blow him or he'd blow them before I'm not sure if I talked about this be on a previous program But I think about it sometimes the idea that he did do children's parties and there were parents who hired him and that Must have been really awkward when they found out They brought him a mass murder into Carter's wife Jimmy Carter's wife. Well. Yeah, he was an electric

Yeah, I think we've discussed this before I just a bit just again. This is an example of just a true Monster and this was the same interview that he said that like when they put me in the same class as like Manson and Bundy It makes me sick to my stomach. I'm not like them. I Think he's slightly worse because of the Verily's Ted Bundy eye candy and Mr. Manchin could play some guitar and he was a great Connection and it's sort of a Tony Robbins of serial killers. I just say again say there's probably one in your neighborhood That's right. So be careful this Halloween literally. We just had someone broke someone But there was an attempted rape over in a metropolitan that happened

That's like I made me start closing my doors and then what I had recently we were looking up We were looking up stories the other day And by the way, that's how you that's why that's got you closing your doors. Yeah, it was of a woman. Yeah Yeah, I mean there's a woman in my house morbidly obese what I do is I leave Katie out in the living room I leave her I leave her out in the living room and I you know like I dress her in fancy lingerie Yeah, and I stand in the net Really thing and I call it the honeypot. Yeah, come on down the honeypot rapist I put a rape sign outside be like come come be raping right like I'm in there and I spring on I'm like spider-man

Right, but you know, I was I was looking for stories the other day and someone kept buzzing in on me And it was like that normal thing It was like about evening time and I would go hello I'd like hit the buzzard or like talk and then someone just go Be like no no no no That's a drug addict. No, no, no, no, I'm not getting access. No, sorry. No go next door No, I'll blow in place That's very good. We'd like to read a story sure well Ben you got one, right?

I could read this other little short one here All right, I don't know what the name of it is because I think it's just called ringing. Yeah ringing You know that ringing sound that you will You know that ringing sound that you will perceive when you are in a very quiet area Some people say this is an auditory illusion brought brought about Mmm. Mmm. You know what a stroke. I lost it. I lost the words, but now I got him back I think I did just have a little mini stroke. That's bad. That's really bad. I don't want to live anymore You're just sitting in a chair. I guess that's when most strokes happen though

Yeah, most a lot of times it's when you're screaming at a taxi driver. That's a stroke lifting weights. Yeah Is that we know lifting weights? Anyway going back to the story here You got that you got the ringing sound that happens when it's in a real quiet area simple say it's an auditory illusion Brought about the ears inability to detect frequencies below the threshold of the human senses. This is completely wrong That ring covers up something else all together if you are quick Patient and maybe a little lucky you will be able to hear past the ring What you will hear our voices whispering to each other they will silence themselves quickly but with practice

You will become more adept to catching and interrupting and interpreting what they are saying You will hear that you will hear things of the past the present and the future However, you must be careful because there is no such thing as a voice without a body Weird yeah, that's a weird one. No such thing as a voice with that. I guess that I guess yeah I guess so somebody I don't even know just kind of whispering right in your ear. So flail your arms around I always grab and twist. Yeah grab and twist do the do the rope trick. Yeah, stop drop and roll. Yes. Yes It's another brilliant get the gun get the gun shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot shoot That's why Ozzy Osbourne deserves to be in prison

Well, this next one is this was requested by Peyton the man who sent us all the all this creepypasta. So this is for you Mother and father get little tired from building communism. So they want to go to Moscow to buy vodka every fucking time They call most trusted babysitter when babysitter arrives children already asleep in beds babysitter just sits around and makes sure everything good with children later that night babysitter gets bored and goes to read marks But she can't read downstairs because there's no electricity So she calls parents and asks if she can get candles to read marks in their room Of course, the parents say it okay, but babysitter has one final request She asked if she could cover up linen statue outside the bedroom window with blanket or cloth because it makes her nervous

Phone line is silent for a moment and father who say take children and get out of house. We will call militia We do not have linen statue Militia find all three of house occupants dead because KGB killed them for trying to cover linen statue Then militia arrest parents for not having linen statue such is life in Moscow Such is life in Moscow Beautiful literature the communism creates. Oh my god. That's it's a regular brothers Karamazov right there It really is I'm gonna try to read about four seconds of this before we want to stop reading Yeah, I didn't want to take this one on I left this one for you

This is a continuation from a creepypasta from the last episode that we covered creepypasta is this is literally this is worse This is the worst thing I've ever read my entire life By attaching ropes to the rings on the ends of the hooks long steel handles Which are poking out of the toddlers bleeding cunt hole between her gorgeous young legs and by pulling on one each We were able to pull Inga's little uterus right out through her vagina It flopped under the workbench together with her fallopian tubes and all the meat severed muscle tissue Which until minutes before and held it inside her lovely

Sexy body Holding it dripping with her blood over Inga's face. You told her this is almost the last thing you ever see you fucking pretty Little child prostitute a last thing will be the inside of your sexy mouth, baby Putting it down on her tiny chest where it slid on her buckling writhing infant girl body until it all Slopped out on the bench again You selected a teaspoon from the instrument rack and I went back to work inside the pretty child You use this spoon to dig out one of her eyes and then yeah get the other one as well And this is of course America before Roe versus Wade this was when it was just so barbers were also surgeons right right?

Yes, so they came out isn't that enough along without a foot length each a optic nerve and muscle tissue Not long enough and fortunately to pass the eyeballs to me so I could shove them up And her vagina you wanted to put her eyeballs into her. I would see what I was doing inside of her But at the same time I don't think that's gonna work. We always work usually They see what I would have done is take a little sunglasses and been like oh somebody's too cool for school. Yeah Oh, yeah You know midnight. She's wearing sunglasses. Yeah. Yeah, she must be really cool cool as baby I've ever seen I was cutting the lining of her tummy bile in the remnants of her last meal

I were sponking her feces mostly in her cunt lips clitoris and nipples Well, you're going to kind of trails off from there. I mean it goes on. There's a lot more. Yeah a lot more stuff Well, you know what we got in more of these that we'll do in the future So we'll dabble back in the old baby torture there at the end one of them pulse are still beating heart out of her chest And then they fuck her in the butt. Yeah. Oh, all right Well No, no, it's a fictional story. Yeah, that's legal. That's legal Okay, cool. Good. Unless it's rock hard and about to jack off to it

I mean, I don't know. I just I'm just gonna go play with my curly sue doll for about an hour No, I think that joke is actually technically a legal good thing. We got you that doll to get those urges out I'm master and I'm master Yeah, she always comes back Ha ha ha it's funny when you lay her down her eyes closed like she's asleep But then when you pick her back up her eyes open like she's much too awake. Yeah terrified even creepy pasta Yeah, it's been creepy, but I'm not sure if it's because of the Because of the great stories. You're just your overall ranting about your life. Yeah. Yeah, that's a part of it

You bring it all full circle too bad We didn't get to the end of that story though because we didn't get to the word baby bum Yeah, that's this the cutest part of it. Yeah, baby bum baby bum baby Before we could use the child's baby bum for sex. There was much work to do they were referred to her You know vagina and I don't even like to say the word. I'll call it a kabonk You know kabonk a kabonk kabonk. Yeah vagina or think about They call it the C word which is a very inappropriate word

But they call her they call her but the baby bum. I Find the whole thing irresponsible But you imagine somebody submitted this No, this was on 410. Okay, so at no point an English You know teacher saw this like a sophomore student hand. Oh, we didn't get a look over. Yeah, I take a red pen to this That's for sure. Yeah, this is something there's definitely and Henry you brought this up at the last podcast live show The people who write this stuff? They're your neighbors. Oh, yeah Oh, do you see that that's part about these types of things is that what you got in what you got to know is that?

Every time you read a story like this on the internet it was written by somebody you know at work Yeah for definite the guy who doesn't eat lunch with everybody the guy who is just hanging around by the copier and you go in there And he's just like slow day, huh? You know, it's actually extremely busy. I've been working my ass. Do you actually still work here? Oh, I mean, I got the bad They let me in here. Oh, right. Yeah, I just watching it. I'm sorry. I got better be gone You're gonna have the last baggle. I'm just gonna get on out of here. Yeah, I've been touching it Yeah, I noticed it was kind of wet I'll see happy at the big board meeting, huh? They don't let me go to those

Man Ronnie was so weird in the kitchen today. Oh, Ronnie died Ronnie died five years ago Manica man's pookie mad spooky creepy pasta. Um, do you have any of the story to tell I think I am fresh out You're fresh one last one. Yeah, dude. All right. Let's get it. Let's get a finale. I like this one Would you say it legitimately creepy? Yeah, closer. All right That thing has been there for almost a week the figure in the window It looks featureless Only skin on a human frame and it's pressing itself against the glass somehow. I

Don't know how it got there and I don't know how to get rid of it It calls itself then kissal and it's my room. Hmm Interesting a lot of these are about you. It seems like it at least you're making them about me at first I thought it was a prank a doll or a mannequin But some jerks put there to scare me Jerks But I realized as I walked out of my house to pull it away that it wasn't there and shrugged it off Thinking that someone had hidden it while I was walking through my door

But well, I went back in and looked out the same window And it was looking in staring at me I Walked around my house yelling for whoever it was to come out But no one was there The thing is hairless and naked Didn't look like it actually had eyes or even a face at all But its head is turned towards me when I enter the room when I sit on my computer

I can feel its faceless hatred boring into my neck But when I turn around it's innocently turned in a different direction Finally on Thursday, I tried to open the window, but it's stuck I think the things hands are keeping it down, but I got a good look at its face its eyes and mouth are behind the skin pushing outward It stared at me smiling Of course, I screamed I pulled back a fist and I smashed it into the glass Determined once and for all to get rid of the glaring monster. I know I'm strong enough That glass should have cracked

But it didn't it shuddered under my hand, but it didn't break and that smile just got wider and wider and wider until I thought Its head would break in half and raise its own hand and bash the window with its palm It was mocking me, but I saw the faintest crack begin to appear where it had hit and I backed away No way did I want that smile on the same room as me So I got a roll of duct tape, but I started covering the window. I couldn't look directly at it I nearly shit my pants just knowing he was watching me, but I couldn't help it It took a quick glance at that skin covered face a small peak And it was angry

That grin was now a gaping frown full of teeth The skin that ripped away from its mouth and I could see down its cavernous throat A menacing rumble started to fill the house and that hairline crack began to spread like splintering ice I pulled it down the duct tape the rumble stopped this split skin healed over and it began to smile again Now it's night and the noise hasn't started again There are no sounds no rumble. No crackling glass. Everything's quiet now. I Can feel its claws gripping the back of my chair. I can hear its skin stretching as it smiles Swatching me type

All faces skin covered. Ah, yes. Yeah Has a demon broke through your window call demon Pete's window Oh, I mean mainly we're just calling you just call to make yourself feel better and then they know that we can do to help you Always grip at the back of your head. Well, it's too late. See you buddy. That'd be $45. Not bad It's really not bad feet. Get rid of that demon. Well, at least the apprehension of the demon. Yeah, I'll be ripping bowls I think it's kind of nice to have somebody watching your work Yeah, you know that demon really like this person makes me amplify my energy Well, I got an audience, you know Jack Nicholson in the shining had somebody looking over his shoulder if Shelley DeVall

Would have been a good goddamn wife. Maybe you would have gotten some fucking words on that page. Oh, yeah, what'd you write today? Let me just go through it. Well It's a great Shelley DeVall. Yeah, that is a really good Shelley DeVall. You should have been on top of her game You know what he got. He would have great that kind of creep me out that one. Yeah, that was a good one That was a real good one. Yeah, I I outside the window It's really difficult to get scared anymore board up your windows, you know, yeah I just get so much more scared about what's going on out out there I just scared during this episode because I heard a weird disembodied voice out there knock anybody home

Yeah, you heard that knock. Yeah. Yeah, that was weird. That was really yeah That's kind of maybe creeped out that kind of fucked up my focus for a little bit. I had who that is I'm gonna kneecap them. I had a dream last night good the way because of the show Then one of the good things about the show is that when I have things that I know that are nightmares I have them and in the middle of the dream. I look at things that were like, oh, that's scary You know, I know and it doesn't it doesn't affect me. I was like, oh, that's a scary thing. Love it But last night I had a genuine nightmare That I was at my mom's like I might where I grew up in New York

I was at this house and that I got this giant letter in the mail This big two-foot tall like letter like this big greeting card And I open it up and I pull it out and written in childish Handwriting it was from my grandparents house and I opened it up for when they where they lived up in Westchester And I opened it up and it said Um, I've got the exact wording that's like we're not your grandparents. We're in their house They should learn to lock their doors. That's a great. That's a great premise to a horror story. Yeah, awesome That's my brain. I had a dream last night where of me and Nikito

We ran a paranormal detective agency, but we went too far with one of our investigations and got arrested really weird How did you guys go too far? I don't know, but I know it was my fault because she was sure really mad at me every time Yeah, but not that that she couldn't be that mad at me. Yeah, she went along with her. She's still a paranormal investigator She's still a paranoid like she's she bought the ticket Right, you know the ride. Hey, she's taking the ride, but she was not it was my fault that that we got caught I think it had something to do with an archaeologist Every time they're nerds, they don't know how to play the game never have an archaeologist. Yeah, I mean I think it was a haunted object like a haunted bone. Sure. It's what it was. It was a big haunted bone

Yeah, because you sleep on a pile of bones. They're bones holding up your CD collection. They are right outside my window Yeah, there is currently a bone holding a stick of incense right now as we record this podcast Yeah, it's kind of exciting. Yeah, it's kind of fun. There's something bone. I drilled a hole in it myself Yes, this is great. If you want to what if you want to watch Marcus open up a box of bones I believe it's on the last podcast page right now the round table. It's on the round table page You can see me excitedly opening a box of bones. Yes Which is very exciting. Well, this kicks off October and we're gonna have an amazing our countdown to Halloween. This is my favorite fucking month

I want to do it special. Let's praise Satan and all his glory every single week that we can Mm-hmm. Hail Satan. Hail Satan and don't forget at the very end of this month The last podcast on the live show is gonna be happening here at the creek in the cave ten ninety three Jackson Avenue And you best believe we're going to be doing a gigantic celebration to our dark lord and master Oh, yeah, and you may see some favorite characters from the show. Mm-hmm. Yes, you might see some popcorns You may see some gnomes. Yeah, yeah, I see all kinds and maybe some boobies I don't have breasts. Yeah And again send us your stories for next week

Yeah, send in the stories and thank you for everyone who came on to our last last podcast on the left live very attractive people very Shockingly attractive the women in the front row and and the men as well. I don't look good-looking men good-looking men But the women were just absolutely keep it up guys Yeah, yeah, I think you guys out there. That's great. But if you're one of our you know less attractive listeners, you know Just just come on out as well. Don't feel intimidated. It doesn't matter I mean cuz after and you might find love, you know, fuck. Okay, cute But you make you find love to find someone who actually understands you yeah, I mean just remember you're never more dangerous as when you're with someone in

Your bed, so life is never more dangerous as when you're asleep and you trust your whole life You're someone just laying next to you and you don't know when they're just gonna snap and kill you. That's right That's right. All right. Hail Satan. Hail Satan lock your windows in your doors. I'll gain I'll gain how you're selves Feel like I want a new hail. Hail Halloween Halloween is coming my friends Hail Satan. Hail me. It's not very scary when you sing it like that