Last Podcast On The Left - Episode 99: Bundy

Episode Date: February 17, 2015

Our heavy hitters series begins with everyone's favorite psycho killer ladies man, Ted Bundy! On the first of this two parter, we explore Bundy's early life, his first series of murders, and his from two consecutive prison breaks.

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left That's when the cannibalism started My creaky bones oh Oh, oh, I didn't do my yoga this morning. Oh, yeah About once every fucking 29 years, but this is just I missed it I missed the boat, you know, I was supposed to do it yesterday To be the first time And I didn't do it. All right. We're good to go

All right, that's Marcus Parks. I'm Ben kissle and then we got this guy He's like doing some weird stretches over here to my left. Oh And then we place my penis on my forehead. I'm doing yoga Penis yoga. I can touch what I love is my favorite move It's called making the letter a and what do you do is you bend only over to your hard penis Well, you are you have to be harder to make the cross section for the a how do you and touch your forehead to the tip of your Hard penis. Oh, I see you bend yourself forward. So it's a huge arms out Yeah, yeah, because I got a middle section in my back because I'm half centipede

Interesting. It's not true man. No, that's not true. That's a lot character It was a dumb character to begin with And it didn't pan out to a better character to end with I like penis yoga Henry Zabrowski fine with him You know, we all got a sweat. We all got a workout. Yeah, man. I don't your penis. No, you know, definitely not I'm mildly disappointed You're not happy with it Marcus penis yoga Henry Zabrowski You know and it comes down to it, you know, we're all spitting out fucking gold. Oh, yeah constantly or seven not stop

It's just not gonna be that can't all be detected popcorn. So right I got that in my pocket That's it'll be fools gold. He actually does have popcorn in his pocket, which is kind of All flat and wet for my butt sweat We need a pretty large donk though to make the a to actually make the oh, yeah, no, not my snub nose fucking member I've got going on here my Polish Scottish fucking gnarled knot. I got So yeah, if your penis was a gun you're describing as a snub nose. That's why I have my collection of many toys Yeah, I'm gonna go with a cult 45 and I'm gonna give you Marcus an AK-47. Hey, thank you

Not bad. So it's a hundred episodes episodes Tick-or-tack parade is begun. I remember back at my day when you called an appetizer an api And it was okay for everybody to hate the Japanese. Oh, yeah, that was about a hundred episodes Actually, I think there was about three episodes ago if I remember correctly, but that's kind of interesting So what we've decided to do anyway, it's our centennial is begin a new round of Special episodes will do called like big hitters big hitters the Babe Ruth's murder and macabre baseball sound effect like a That's a good one Marcus

Yeah, hit my wife in the face with the baseball something like that is great perfect who says we can't paint a picture You know what no one says so we're gonna go through our like the some of the bigger names in Serial killer history that we haven't covered Mainly because of either own personal bitterness Sure Because of you know, we just never got there and today's the public enemy number one That's right. You invented the modern idea of the serial killer. Yeah, I mean, you know, we were speaking about penises earlier Theodore theodore Bundy

It really does wild I could hear him play in this song I could see him play in this song in the in the car Well, yeah, this is how we got the girls in the car in their place because he like roll up playing it There's like is that Shawn Michaels? That's just me old funny friendly ten. That's right And man, he was handsome. God. He was a handsome devil. He was a charming man a very intelligent guy into some degree Yeah, well young Republican. That's the thing about him Ted Bundy the women that he killed I don't necessarily have the most amount of sympathy for the victims simply because those were women that would never even Remotely come close to looking at guys like us and they would walk past us. Hey, speak to yourself, man

No, I'll speak for all three of us. I'm fairly certain I know what I'm saying here and they would snub their nose at us and they would say something rude Oh, hey tall guy. Hey fat guy. Hey weird boy playing with bones Okay, you make a point on that one. Yeah, so I've got even the playing grounds. I'm thinking get out there You got to make it even which is why we're funny That's right. Well, we're forced into it, you know works into it So of course Ted Bundy, where do we want to start when it comes to the the massacres? We got to get back in a way way way back machine and go back to Ted Bundy was just a

Swaddling babe. Yeah in a manger somewhere deep in Bethlehem. Well, so are you saying he was Jesus? One star shown to the sky and three just just dirty desert men. Hmm. Yes crawl through the sand They brought a tiny Arab boy incense Frankincense well, it wasn't so much Bethlehem as it was the Elizabeth Lund home for unwed mothers. Yeah Okay, well, you could make an argument then that perhaps he was a golden child somebody born, you know without a father much like Jesus I mean, there is There is much speculation that his father was in fact his

Maternal grandfather Fakery that's a fakery of a muckishism his mother should have gone with that virgin birth life What are you doing grandpa's out there? He's whittling the prettiest horse for your birthday looking great I mean you look at those fine overalls. He doesn't need to wear a shirt He's making a letter a out in the field He was out in the field screaming about how much he hated the blacks the Italians the Catholics and the Jews Well, because they were liberated he had to go out in the field and work You know, I'm sure he was like, I remember a time the field is where you can express all of your most controversial opinions

Yes You know you yell at corn and yeah that corn ain't talking and then he'd go inside beat his wife and the family dog And then go out in the neighborhood in the neighborhood grab some cats by the tails and then swing him around his head And then grab his daughter or make some serial killer eggs and crazy man Bundy's at it again Hey kids come on out of here. Look at the game Well, this is what I actually speak aloud to unseen presences as well. This was not a bunny No, this was a cow. He was born cut Ted Ted word. It's a Ted word Ted word Cowell

And then he wasn't a later on until he was adopted by a man named James Bundy No, Johnny Culpepper Bundy Johnny Culpepper Bundy. Oh, yes, Johnny Culpepper Bundy the greatest of all the Bundy's He was a hospital cook No, and he kind of has like a nice relationship So if you wanted to let's fill in some more details about it Yeah, so Ted Bundy wasn't a Bundy Ted Bundy. So he was an adopted boy. He would yeah his stepfather Samuel or Johnny Bundy Adopted him formally after he married his mother, but Bundy was for up until 1969 he was under the impression that his grandfather was actually his

Father, okay, and then his mother was his sister, which is also the same set of circumstances that Jack Nicholson grew up in Which is really like that's the truth and then we call that the old 50s switcheroo, but I wish play I watched so many documentaries Movies were like what we'll find out is that when he finds it out everyone's like and that was what turned the switch to make a man into a killer We're amazing actor, you know, well, it was one of two switches, but we'll get to that He's got a bunch of so okay So Jack Nicholson thought his grandfather was his father and his mother was his sister and he turned out to be one of the most Successful actors of all time. Yeah, and finger banger extraordinaire Exceptionally good and now it's all kind of weird with his old man fingers. I'll punch you instead two inch wide knuckles

Yeah, I don't know what happens to old men when you age, but your fingers just expand like I guess sort of like how your feet do My grandfather's hands meaty paws would be the only way I'll be able to get right those hands Just riffling through while you're your young mother's asleep and this big meaty paws are in there grabbing at her fresh white Rump, you know making a bunty Making a little bunty every time I have sex from now on I'm gonna say let's make a bunty It also sounds like taking a huge dump doesn't it? Let's go in there make a nice little bunty Well bunty exhibited disturbing behaviors from a very young age at the age of three His aunt tells the story in which she awoke from a nap to find little Ted had placed a circle of knives around her

Oh, and he was staring at her while giggling like she was a little pork roast or something. That's kind of fun But that's what but then no one said anything to me when I was like four or five I took all my sister's Barbies I would remove the clothes from them rip off the heads and bury them with their feet sticking out of the Out of the dirt in the backyard. Oh look at Henry's doing in Henry Gardner Just me that's like no mirth in my face at all just very a naked Barbie dolls And I was just saying hey, I'm just making I'm making a fun garden is what I said It does sound like a relatively fun garden

It sounds sort of similar to that great horror movie motel hell if you've ever seen that you check in but then you turn Into the garden yeah, and then they eat you That's a long tagline. Yeah. Yeah, it's a really long one It was the whole it was the whole VHS cover well psychiatrist who analyzed Ted's behavior as a child after interviews with friends and family He said that he was quote not like other children He looked and acted like them, but he was haunted by something else. He was more attracted Well, that was everyone that said that they couldn't understand as he was growing up is that he was so he was always cute as the fucking Benton and everybody loved him and he was great, but he was like a hollow child that couldn't make any friends

Right, he was super shy he stuttered And he couldn't connect with anybody and then they're saying even as a child He kind of had a Predelection for this idea of that he was gonna grow up to be super important That's what he wanted he wanted to be special and that's the thing with a lot of these serial killers and a lot of politicians as well Oh, yeah, I'm not gonna say comedians. No Oh desire power or anything. We just want to spread joy and laughter to the world not a negative dark side Inside of us

The psychologist also said that something inhabited his mind with the subtlety of a cat That will be important later with the theory that I have about how subtle our cats Cats give me subtle I guess so how many times I'm sitting in bed just eat none of a jar of peanut butter And the cat just kind of crawls into the window and starts licking on my balls. Oh, yeah That's subtle times is it gotta be this way. Yeah, well you put the peanut butter on your balls and you call the cat over I'm sitting in a bucket of tuna Half your fault Henry half your fault well Bundy growing up when he was in high school He said that he was very awkward with the relationships

He didn't understand interpersonal relationships at all But its classmates said that he was well known and well liked a medium-sized fish in a large pond Well, this is also when Bundy found his lifelong love of Snow skiing Loved it. It was it was his favorite thing to do in the entire world with snow skiing. All right Well, that makes sense Is that why he ended up going to the University of Washington was to be up in the mountains because I know that he I mean That's where he stored all of his bodies we find later on. Yeah, oh up on Mount Taylor

Interesting, but in a psychologist reading a document watching another documentary and basically saying that it's like it's just a predator Election of people that are born like people that are born super good-looking. They just kind of people will like them Yeah, no matter what no matter what it is that they do they're just gonna like them They get a little they get a little farther in life. They get you know, they make you know, you don't get absolutely Well, he of course loves no skiing, but in high school. This is also he was arrested twice on suspicion of burglary and auto theft He was he used to steal equipment and forged lift tickets So he exhibits that early behavior in lifeline behavior that a lot of serial killers have a petty theft a lot of petty theft Because it's just anything to give like a fuck you to police or like show everybody how fucking clever you are, right?

But the one thing this is was there any examples of him killing cats like doing any animal mutilation not documented No, and no peepee no bed peepee. No, but he did not have the triad as they call it. Yeah Yeah, the try the triad of a fight and he didn't start fires either So he didn't have ease 0 for 3 on the serial killer try I guess he was rebelling against his grandfather by not killing the cats and Spinning around by their tails, you know part of it. It's it's but again, it's a standard We we've heard this we've heard this theory before where he believed that he was gonna grow up to be something important And then he wasn't necessarily very good at any specific thing He could have if he would have just waited for a little while. He was doing relatively well with his dick was too ringing hard

Yeah, I mean, he just wanted to fuck so many corpses. It's tough to focus on you know, the corpse fucking literally I On the same documentary guy was just like if he had just spent a little less time focusing on mayhem and murder He may have been a good politician. He would have been a great politician We'll get to that the corpse fucking later on and then they would just give you corpses to fuck I mean, that's the thing the Kennedy's have a whole freezer full of corpses Oh, you're popping the fucking door open for the fucking reptilians to come through any one of 12 So if you just let yourself get into the fucking Illuminati, buddy, right like you could have had all of the vicious shit All the blood you want to drink. It's just it's in it's in but Burlingham Palace

Yeah Burning Man Palace, that's all different in 1967 he attended the University of Washington where he met his first and only true love We don't know her real name, but she's most commonly known as Stephanie Brooks Stephanie Brooks. He had never loved a woman more in his entire life It's what she could love somebody as much as he could love someone he became obsessed with her which I Well, I think that he definitely did love her. No, he loved the fact that she was rich and beautiful and powerful Are you telling me the political family? Well, yeah, but that's what that's what love is, right? Love is a rational thing and he looked at it. He he added it all up

He's like that equals love if you're a serial killer. No, I'm I'm saying but this is the thing about Bundy and this is what it's not just factors it is factors factors Some you don't fall in love with a homeless woman that's begging for change in the street I'm just like me to rise. I mean, I don't need that woman. I read some reddit threads People did that they were make believe No, but he does feel empathy and that was the thing about Bundy They he actually has extreme empathy and that's but it just got perverted So that's why he was able to come so hard when he was hurting these women because he's like

Oh, I know you were in pain and he enjoyed the fact that he knew that they were in pain. Yeah, and yeah He's a sexual sadist. Yeah, he could only come if women were screaming or dead. Yeah, which is kind of bizarre It's pretty opposite things aren't they so this starts at this woman. She dumps him, of course She doesn't she doesn't remember she says he's not quote husband material So she does because it's the same thing kind of a I mean at this time. He's kind of a fuck-up. He doesn't really go to class He's not ambitious. He doesn't have any direction Because when he got to college he discovered that he's like oh, I'm good-looking He kind of got his fucking, you know his groove. Yeah

Like cello would have sure and so he got his he got his fucking groove He figured that I could you know I can flirt with checks I could do with the stuff and he's like I get a lot of chicks of a act like you know I'm like super politically active and all that stuff, but then you find out that you get Remotely past a 15 minute conversation with this young Kerry Grant. You find out that he doesn't believe in a goddamn thing He doesn't care. I mean it's the exact same It's the equivalent of someone going to college finding out that you know You know my movement have the occupy movie find it find it out that people really enjoy Kurt Cobain buying a guitar and sort of

Flurked learning how to uh, you know play panorail T Yeah, why is there a male goths? No, no one it gets no one's wearing those exactly for six months The girl's like wow I think he might make it his musician and then she realizes he's all bullshit and it's gonna be a total failure and then She qualifies that by saying oh, he's not husband material whenever reality No, it's because his dick is probably too small and you don't think he's gonna make any money I promise you can't fuck you unless you scream unless he's choking you Yeah, and you have to pretend like you're dying. Well, he's gonna find the right lady. Well in the after this he begins this I find

Fascinating he begins a six-year long game. Yes with this woman But in the middle of that in 1971 he starts working and this is a fascinating Detail with Bundy. He starts working at Seattle suicide hotline crisis center. Yes, because he loves to hear people in pain He does and then a part of this is his bone sex, but it's also the I feel like there's something to the psychopath that loves this idea of I I'm doing something that makes me feel altruistic and makes me look altruistic So then it's it's almost be like no, but I spent so many years working at the suicide hotline I just think that's exactly what people did when they voted for build a blouse. Yo, can I just say that okay? Okay, okay, I'm done with it. I'm done with it

Anyway continue on Podcasts killing material All right, so this is a this is a audio clip from an rule Yes, who was a famous crime author that you ended up actually was working next They're fucking desk-to-desk with Ted Bundy while he was working that the call center Ted, I think you're actually driving people to kill themselves. Oh, yeah, that's what this is all about. Yeah, it's what I'm doing Yeah, all right. Here's the clip and rule now a best-selling author was a volunteer at the crisis clinic a suicide help line when she met the attractive charismatic young Bundy

Ted and I would work as a team Ted was wonderful on the phone. He was sounded caring He was interested in people. I can I can still picture him hunched over the desk with a phone to his head Kind of making the a and many times we saved lives Which seems very ironic to me now Except if you say erotic erotic, but I got the sweet Ted And who would walk me out to my car at two in the morning when my shift was over And he said and please lock the doors. I don't want anything bad to happen to you on the way home

Well, I just been locked up with probably the most dangerous man in the western states Never had a clue. Yeah, I mean then he the big tell is that when you lock the door then he pulls on the door They see he can't even get it. Come on. Yeah. Yeah, I can't even get it Fuck yeah, fuck fuck. I mean, I don't know what this like Ted Ted gets so excited about my safety Yeah, yeah, he always makes sure the doors are really really locked I would assume just by the voice of this lady. She's a bit elderly and not necessarily the most attractive Well, I mean, she's pretty elderly I think back in the day she was attracted but the thing about Bundy never killed anyone he knew this is a stranger killer

He was a stranger killer and the other thing is to is that I don't think she was that attractive when she was young Or she would have been on the list because every single one of Ted Bundy's 35 victims or supposed victims They're all stinky hot. Yeah, and they were all one not only that but the big detail is hair parted right down the middle Brunette hair part down the middle just like his ex-girlfriend He is right now in the middle of a six-year long game to get her back This is the time he re-enrolls in a University of Washington He starts becoming a psychology major which he uses those skills later on He literally went and got the training it took to fool people better. This is this is Michael Jordan

Yeah, this is Michael Jordan can't jump from the fucking he can't jump from the free throw line anymore So he's got to get that fucking fade away. Yeah, that's right. That's right It's also in this time in 1972 when he first gets involved in politics and really this is his only involvement in politics He did it specifically to as a part of the long game Yeah, I mean he becomes involved in a governor Dan Evans re-election campaign. He posed as a college student He shadowed the opponent of the governor. He and just so he could get the stump speeches So he could he would sit there. He would write down notes He would analyze them and he would take them back to Davis and say this is how you beat the guy

Davis he described Bundy as quote smart aggressive and a believer in the system. Oh, absolutely That's perfect like John Wayne Gasey John Wayne Gasey was also involved in politics and like Berkeley heavily involved and I like mr. Berkowitz with the you know, obviously the son son of Sam with the hair fetish The long brown hair It's kind of but that's also like what thing the thing that helps with that at the 1970s everybody had the same fucking hair style Yeah, it was like it was my mom my mom was dealing with that during the son of Sam Terrorated Queens because yeah, they had to hide your hair people girls were putting their hair up On hats and shit like yeah, but the his predilect will basically what because what happens after she dumped him

It flew him into that's when he went back home. This is said after they she dumped him He went back home He looked through the records found out the the truth about his family history and he said that's where and it switched but then there's also a a Rape murder that's pinned to him that happened during this time period. Oh, yeah, which was I forget her name It was let's see here in Seattle in 1971. I don't know exactly what her name I'll tell you that should mean it's also and he also well he his Origin like when they interviewed him. He told people some conflicting things about when his first murder was some time

He told some some investigators his first kidnapping was in 1969 because he was a 12-year-old girl, too That there was also pinned on him at that time. You're like a year old girl So he went home 15 he went home and he found out all these things about his family That needs to be an ancestry comm commercial, right? And then I got the leaf my grandfather my father was my grandfather So my sister was my mother at this time. He goes to law school. He finally gets back in touch with the girl He starts romancing her once again. He eventually convinces her to marry me They get engaged and then he just cuts off all contact soon as she says yes

It was it the game's done cuts off contact and she finally gets a hold of them says like what the fuck happened And he just said Stephanie I have no idea what you mean and then hung up on her and never talked to her again And that is when the killing starts cold as ice And it's like it's here. This was in 1974. It was a woman named Karen Sparks So that was a found during this time period who was sexually assaulted and then She was raped murdered with a pipe and then raped with the pipe. No Karen Sparks survived Was that the survivor? That was that was the survivor the the first one that he killed was Linda Healy

Who by the way, it was a ski forecaster for Northwest ski reports. Oh, so they probably have a lot to talk about Yeah, it definitely sounds like a co-dealer. Yeah Karen Sparks So he was been beaten with a metal rod broken from the bed frame And then when they pulled the covers back on her body, they were horrified to find the rod had been brutally jammed into her vagina He also used a speculum on her. If you don't know what a speculum is it is a you're not a lady It's not a lady. Yeah, if you're a man a speculum is a device that they used to pry open your body cavities So with this Healy woman, she was a forecaster for a scheme So that means the conversation what it was just about scheme. No, he probably murdered her

Maybe or I don't know exactly when his game started his game. His early game was all All breaking and entering he would break into a woman's house. He would viciously assault her with Linda and Healy That's it with Sparks. He'd she he just left her there. That was the only time he did that after that It would be a kidnapping situation like they went After Linda didn't show up to work. The police went and they pulled back her bed covers. They found a heavily stained Pillowcase staying with blood blood soaked sheets The clothes that she wore that day were missing. They didn't find her body and tell a few years later when they found Ted's little graveyard up on Mount Taylor. This Healy girl

She should have just started yelling things about herself and seeing if any of them hit like, you know, I forecast for skiing I love to ski and then maybe be like, oh, that's something I love to ski So if you're getting attacked by a killer just throw some ideas out there. Just see it's something sticks likes and dislikes Yeah, exactly. I love Game of Thrones. I don't like sesame seeds You know, isn't that something I'm allergic to sesame seeds and I love Mr. Dinklage acting. Mr. Dink. Let I'm gonna let you I'll stop fighting your clit off now. All right, get on out of here. You know, the funniest thing I was gonna jam this rod India I was I was gonna do that. Well, there are more similarities in the disappearances besides just the long hair Most of them took place at night all of them except for two. Usually it was near ongoing construction work, which is weird

That is really I guess the noise would muffle out any sounds of screaming Most of them with we're within a week of midterms or final exams. So women are very distracted Because they were almost all college students. They're distracted. They're they're stressed out super hot super nice because he played on everyone's Cuz then that's where he learned the best way to get somebody is to you play on their altruism And then again, it almost gives you a little bit of satisfaction when he would put on, you know He'd put on his caster his cast and he would take his crutches and basically he would he had a VW bug And he would ask girls just randomly just like hey Um, can you actually help me get some stuff on the top right car into my into my trunk?

And then they go like oh sure. Yeah, man And then he go back there and he'd have his hammer put up hammer or pipe get a hammer a pipe in a crowbar It was a pot It was a crowbar a pipe and a crescent wrench that he had made with a an actual handle He's not a candlestick though. No, no Candlestick, okay, interesting. No, he's not colonel muster. He's not okay. It wasn't colonel mustard in the sidewalk of the FSU Okay, it's all blunt trauma and strangulation Interesting used a gun because he was meticulous about his crime scenes

I mean there were never any fingerprints found and in fact the forensic evidence linking Ted Bundy is fairly flimsy just testicle prints Just not print But you know what I mean at the very least I guess if you have to die at any point in your life Two weeks before finals isn't that bad. You don't study, you know, and I was very suicidal Yeah, exactly I mean how many times did you utter that when you were at university and you had to take a test You're like I would rather be dead than study for this math test and then you know sometimes you run into a dream maker Well, another thing about him is that he his appearance was extremely. He was a good-looking guy, but they were very generic features

Yes, and he could he would change look he would change his look very like he would change hairstyles He would change facial hair the only distinguishing mark that he had was a mole on his neck But he would hide that because he usually wore turtlenecks or sweaters the turtle killer side of the style of the time Yeah, yeah, absolutely and speaking of the style of time all the women that he killed were all wearing either pants or slacks the time They're disappearing I'm which is why if you ever hear news of a Killer dressed as a mummy and may or may not be that's where he's a Browsky Killer the you want to be the mummy killer Just dress all and just cover the toilet paper

Couldn't you enjoy back to my sarcophagus? So shaman would be to blame shaman toilet paper to be blamed for this shaman fatty killer No, I wanted to be the mummy killer. No, I'm sorry. We're gonna go shaman fatty killer. You've actually been branded I mean so LL bean sort of aided and contributed. I was Eddie Bauer LL bean Action lawsuit. Yeah, I'm only Lacey bean. Yeah, what the LL stands for no could be lucky a lady bean Not in this situation, but yeah, maybe Lazy Larry bean Lazy Larry bean is that's a that's a whole different member of the bean family Well at what he would do is that he would up most of the except for sparks

He would kidnap the women take him to a secondary site Most of the murders were fairly quick that he would kill them fair Okay, pop. There was only one victim that they found like after they did some forensic evidence She survived for about six days after the initial and she was just hanging out in the woods for those six days He changed her tree, right? It was like a thing. He'd like handcuffed her to a thing out there And then he brought the other girl out there. Well killed one girl in front of the other one That was the only ass mass that was the only yeah and sass mass That was the only time that he did a kidnapping during the day. This was some bold shit

Well, this is when he began his he got so fucking full of himself. He thought he was invisible He thought he could do whatever he wanted. He was cleverer than anybody else A white guy dressed in LL being closed in Florida is invisible. He believed this is in Florida. This isn't Seattle Oh, this is Seattle. Okay, Florida now He believed that the American condition was being and he said invisible to everyone but yourself So he really interesting that was his idea being an American like that's what he thought it was all about That everyone was anonymous because he couldn't he was a sociopath and this was his Republican side as well He was a young Republican. Yeah, and also he was an extreme alcoholic

He was fucking wasted for every single one of his adductions He said that while he was on the prowl He was extremely drunk in order to significantly diminish his inhibitions and to sedate The dominant personality that he feared might prevent his inner entity from acting on his impulses Here's another thing about that because I'm building up to something here, man He said an official in Tallahassee who was guarding him. He said at one point quote He became weird on me. He did a metamorphosis a body and facial change And he felt that there was almost an odor emitting from him as we know from our possession episode

No, uh-oh, we're going down the hole here people I believe that Ted Bundy was a perfectly possessed human being being controlled by a demon walking the earth Or he was a part of the mk ultra original like blueprint People they put him out there. They made him possible to create the serial killer phenomenon in order to create just enough fear in America that people will start being like Oh, we got to take our weapons and our guns away because serial killers are getting them and then the government can make a fucking Military order and make a whole place and we got what's it called?

What's it called doing it? I don't know that's a fascist utopia a dystopian society Orwellian universe that's fucking stupid Henry. It's obviously demons. Yeah, fuck Well, I just think we need to get rid of all crutches, you know Because they're obviously leading to the murder of a bunch of a bunch of ladies the thing is Ted Bundy got so much press coverage Well, like we'll talk we're gonna cover the second half of the next episode Yeah, but the but when he was going through his trial period. He was he loved it lots of bullshit. Yes, he was He's a bullshit master. I mean where he is I would just I mean

I just like the idea him of him trashed wasted having a girl in the uh in the car She's like, are you a little drunk? Are you drunk? I don't know. I'm not fucking drunk. Let's just play a little song sexy Just like trash drunk Oh my god, if you if you do happen to be drinking and driving this week just accidentally just play sexy boy You'll play sexy boy. Yeah, like pump it out to the shot. It's the best drinking and driving song I've ever heard of But his day his day when he was doing the day abductions. Yeah, he was just ripping through people He was asking like 10 people on the beach the uh one the he asked four women

What he was telling them is that he was trying that he had a cast on yet a cast on funny He was dressed in a white tennis uniform And he was telling that he had a cell boat attached to his uh bw bug out there and he needed help getting a cell boat off he asked four women before one finally went to help him she just stupid stupid girl Just stupid nice woman. He disappeared into the woods. He came he chained her up to a tree He came back got another woman. He abducted her when she she went to the bathroom never came back I mean between Ted Bundy and Johnny Knoxville in the movie bad grandpa never help anybody Never it's a hidden camera show or it's a serial killer help anybody

Boy, and during this time boy. This is a this is a great one right here Bundy was working at the Washington State Department of Emergency Services Another sort of tragic type agency that was involved in uh the search for missing women And so they started reporting it was like women were going missing It was like six women in a month and bundy's just nailing it getting a raise climbing the corporate ladder Absolutely because he's like he's like doing like the peter parker spider-man things So you know what I think is he maybe be using like a wrench type thing. They're like what? Exactly. I think I know where spider-man's gonna be tomorrow

But the thing is is that he kept but he was ending up on a shorter and shorter list during this time period Where people because people were like a man in a cast man crutches man pretending to be police officer Introducing self as Ted as officer. He was a officer Ted Roseland. I mean for a creative he was when uh You know to get these women with these sort of different like act outs and different characters who would play You would think you would change his name I'll come up with 90 names in episode. Yeah, why not? Yeah, just come up with a name. Just say Johnny. A bunch of them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's his Johnny Bundy. That's his My name is Brunke. Brunke Bundy. Brunke Bundy. I still use Bundy. Oh, okay. My name is

Egg sandwich You know what? You know like you don't just make up names. Yeah, I don't think you want to get Geralt Geralt Geralt, that's not a name. I don't with a G. So you're telling me you have a sailboat somewhere. My name. Oh, yes. My name is Leslie Howard Errol nine days in there. Can you come help me get my canoe off of mine? I have two canoes You have two canoes. Canoes are tied to a fire hydrant. I just we're not even close to any sort of water Any sort of come with me? I got like nine pelicans. Just come with me. Pelican. My name is Leslie Maron Leslie Maron And ronaldson. I knew oh, I knew a ronaldson. Did I say a name to you already?

Uh, you know what? I'm just gonna help you out just because I feel like I'm in a giving mood Yeah, let's come over here. And that's not the only day. Look at the tire, bitch. Look at his tire. Look at the tire Nice tire and then I'm dead Yeah, that's not the only day that he a lot of times you would play the women characters But I don't change my voice. Isn't that nice very masculine women on the show He would go through multiple women a night before he would find someone to actually go with him There was two women in the same night that reported seeing a man in a vw bug with a cast asking them to help him That and that night he ended up killing george ann hawkins

And that was reported to be his first victim of necrophilia You see that was the thing And so he would take bodies up to his like this like would he place up in seattle and you leave the bodies But then what was really fascinating about him is that he then turned he changed serial killer types Like somewhere in the middle of this where it's like he went from just being sort of like what we were talking about before Which is like process and results killers, which is like results killers are you know The whole thing is that the kill is the rush and then you leave the kill makes you nut your pants And the other one's like process killers, which is you know, you you make the baby or marionette

You make the the corpse you're a marionette and you play with its nipples for a couple hours So it's like he went from one to the other. It's like a it's like a dion sanders. Yeah Yeah, he was sort of a bow jackson type. He's doing two sports the other team once again like michael jordan Like michael jordan. Well, yeah, but you know, but buddy was good at both Another jinx. I think we've been hanging out too long. We've been hanging out far far far too long But then he started taking makeup up to the corpses and putting makeup on the corpses and playing with them going like I love you ted shut up. You don't love any. You don't love me. Nobody loves me. I love you. I love you You would even shampoo their hair

Well, that's good. That that needs to be a A head and shoulders commercial. Can we play and so we have a so we have here is a clip from the movie ted bondy made in 2002 Yes, which I I'm one of those like we're like kissle. I think kissle and I's movie tasted like different I think you like you can like any type of horror movie like you even like bad ones and you like good ones Where it's like me serial killer movies. Yeah, I will watch any serial killer movie Killer movie. So I don't know if this is a good movie or not. This one's okay, but it's a lot of fun The guy playing ted bundy is pretty great. All right. So here's a clip of but it's weird He's uglier than ted bundy the guy playing ted bundy at the same time ted bundy was just kind of rugged

It's like it's like the same. It's like I don't it's it's a reason why I'll never be attracted to a man because the idea of like stubble, right? Yeah, it's like scratching up and down my belly like sucking on my belly button But yeah, it's just really horrifying to me just ted bundy was not like hands. He wasn't like jared leto handsome He was just kind of rugged handsome handsome. Yeah, um, generically hands real quick though How many so he killed four before he started having sex six six before the necrophilia Right, I mean there are Again, we were saying he may have killed someone he was 14 He may have killed someone during the time period that he was getting after he just got broken up with right, but it is in shields, whatever

All right, so let's hear a bit of a clip a bit of ted bundy's philosophy. Yeah, I just want you to listen to me Give me a little bit of attention See girls like you they don't pay attention to guys like me Guys who don't come from good families They'll go to top schools drive fancy cars You shut up and listen I usually don't God

Don't get me wrong. I'm not some share of the wealth type of pinko creep or something In fact, I'm a republican I worked on a number of families in one day I'm gonna be governor I'm gonna believe it to you You probably think that family gave up so many times, but it was like to his like to tag Maybe I'm not so important out there But here I'm in charge

Here I'm in control Because this is the court of ted What I say here is law You get the picture Good act out Ted That's the scariest thing is when someone's like making fun at like you when you're crying when yeah, that's the worst You cry if you cry I'm gonna kill you Oh, that's a lot of fun. God. It is funny though with the Mitt Romney thing

Yeah, just like shouting that at like that like the I'm gonna be governor I'm not one of those pinko spread the wealth types. Oh, I'm a republican. Oh, okay I couldn't tell I didn't know if it was because your crew cutter your secret underwear Is he poking out of your cut-offs when you're here at this fucking truck stop you secret homosexual Can't get the secret underwear off to fuck this corpse. Oh, damn it So Georgianne Hawkins the first victim of necrophilia She was not the first woman to be dumped on taylor mountain outside of issaquah, washington That's where a couple of hikers ran across what can be only described as a skull graveyard

Yeah, that's where this that's where Ted dumped a lot of his say skull graveyard. I say skull playground Yeah, it's like a bocce ball type scenario because that's what he was doing. It's just like, uh, well, you know, it's all in the wrist He kept saying you know And this is also around the time after there were a lot of people that saw him talking to those women at the uh Like that day when he abducted two women in the same day. So they started to form a composite sketch of this guy Four people and they also said like there was a uh, you know, they said the sketch the volks wagon Four people recognized the profile the sketch the car. They reported Ted Bundy as a suspect but detectives

They were receiving about 200 tips a day They said there's no way that a clean cut law student with no adult record could ever Well, is he is he a pinko spread the wealth wealth type? Oh, you say he's a republican. Oh, no, no, no, it's not possible So after this this is when Ted Buddy moves to Utah and in another connection to Mitt Romney He was actually baptized into the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Anything to get ahead he will they're the biggest connections that the Mormons have, you know It's like you get your own planet when you die. By the way, when Ted Bundy became a Mormon. They still weren't letting blacks in Uh, so I just want to point that out

And then after Ted Bundy after he gets baptized, he actually tries to de-escalate He kidnaps this girl named Nancy Wilcox and he's trying to de-escalate. So he says like, all right, I'm gonna take her out I'm gonna rape her and then I'm gonna release her. Yes But then he ends up strangling her and then of course having sex with the corp I did everything again. Yeah, and this and so now what happens is his first big mistake He kidnaps this girl. Her name is Carol DeRanche. She's the one that and she's man She's smoking smoking fucking hot man. He approaches her at a Walden books This is the officer roseland. This is officer roseland

This woman is not very smart This woman is a fucking idiot because he comes up to her and he says, hi, ma'am Someone hit your car in the parking lot. Could you please come with me? And she goes, okay, let's go. Yeah, not even like how do you know it's my car? Or like what are you talking about? No, but that's just the you just assume that's authority. That's the power of authority That's you dress up like you dress in a police officer's uniform You're right in vulnerable people will believe you for a second. Not like I've ever done it. No You know, I'm never dressing up as a fucking, you know, police officer and just like when the people's homes and just like look at their

Stuff and turn their weed, you know, so you have done it. No, no, you have stolen weed. I said I didn't do it Oh, you said you didn't I said I didn't oh, okay I've never dressed up as a police officer and you know went into the train conductor on the subway and told them that I need to Drive the train. I'm tech commentator in the train and then just take the train up and down the tracks like So you weren't the guy two years ago that went to the train conductor and told me he was a police officer and commentator Of the train and drove it all around never did that you didn't do that, but somebody did do that But it wasn't you not me interesting, you know, I don't have it in my bag right now Like my costume. So you do no

No, okay, I don't have it right now. Okay interesting. It's not in the cleaners because it's all covered with human gore No Well, you know what that I think Henry might actually be the last person we cover on this Would that be the ultimate irony? Yeah, very last person the last last podcast episode ever Just me and Marcus talking about Henry Zabrowski is the worst serial killer in American history And then we're like Show's not as good without his act out. I mean, he was so funny, you know back in the day, but man He just killed a lot of people and perfect killer. It's that weird fake cop fat killer the fake cop fat killer

Why do you keep putting fat on my serial killer name? So this girl carl de ronde she got in a Bundy's car and they started driving They drove off she noticed that they're going in the opposite direction of the Police station. So she says what are you doing? Where are you going? He pulls over to the side of the road He tries handcuffing her. She fights back. He acts it. He does get both handcuffs on But he somehow manages to put them both on the same arm She gets out of the car. He gets out to she kicks him in the nuts runs off gets away from him Ted is not deterred later that night

He goes and picks up this girl Debra Kent after a theater production at the local high school about 19 miles away He picks her up But what does he leave behind in the parking lot? The key to his handcuffs. Oh stupid So very dumb that that's it's just like he said that famous quote that he had, you know killing someone is yeah It's like the it's like changing a tire the first time you're nervous And then the 30th time you can't remember where you put the cut the tire arm. Oh my nuts

Yeah, that's that's a shitty night for that poor girl who had to go see the high school performance of fame is get raped and murdered Yeah, that's not good. I love that Joseph and the titan of color And whatever coat and then boom And this is what leads to his eventual arrest For kidnapping is that he was stopped by the utah highway patrol They found in his uh, they looked in his car. They noticed the front passenger seat was missing Uh, and then yeah, and then he had a fucking full rape. They found a ski mask Another mask fashion from pennyhose a crowbar handcuffs trash bags a coal of rope and ice pick and other items initially

So, uh, so mr. Bunny. What is it that you say you do again? I am a performance artist and I do a thing called Rape a girl a killer girl. It's a little show. I do. Let me show you Oh, help me help me Well, I'm gonna let you go because that was a hell of a performance. Thank you Were you over there at the high school tonight? You could see me tonight at the people's improv theater. Oh, wow So they got a search warrant the uh, utah police. They got a search warrant for bundy's apartment They found a guide to colorado ski resorts with a check mark by the wildwood inn

Which the wildwood inn is where he committed one of his murders Okay, uh the uh the actual murder that he was about to be charged with a brochure advertising the uh viewmont high school play In which he kidnapped a second victim He kept their brochure. He kept the meager just throw the brochure out But all this is still circumstantial evidence this can't you know, they can't arrest him for this just yet But bundy says that they missed in his uh utility room They missed a stack of polaroids of all of his victims up until then but then again That's what they said again is that there's so many lies. He's told so many things

They said is that he could have been bragging about it and never had it. Yeah. Yeah, you you never know So finally so they arrest him they bring in carol deroch for uh a photo lineup because they do end up But through the descriptions they end up matching the key to the uh handcuffs here They bring in carol deranch. She gives them a she picks them out of a lineup The other witnesses pick them out of a lineup They found strands of hair that matched uh both melissa smith and carol deranch melissa smith was the girl that went missing that day And they also found hair matching caron cambell They also looked at caron cambell's body and they felt they looked at there was very distinctive marks in her skull

Grooves in her head grooves and it matched the uh crowbar that was in bundy's uh Uh trunk so he got charged and convicted for kidnapping of carol deranch sentenced to one to 15 years And one to 15 years one to 15 years for kidnapping and he was extradited to colorado where he was being charged With the murder of caron cambell and this is when he gets tricky It's just when he becomes super super slippery and uh, you just can't get a whole old Ted Well, should we do that for part two? No, we're gonna we're just gonna cover this part real quick Oh, okay, uh because there's so much more after this because yeah, that's the thing You know his sergeant pepper second act. Yeah, right

Um, this is and then they were saying his the people you work for the crisis center through such a fucking fit About what happened when he got like basically accused of this crime They were like he didn't do it. They put together a whole fund like They raised like tens of thousands of dollars for his like legal fees. It was pretty intense. Yeah one to 15 years Yeah, you can get it. It's a perfect example. It was like John Wayne Gates. He was arrested before they let him out Because he was a model prisoner. They there was a bunch of people that have been there were arrested Well, let's be honest Ted Bundy's a model prisoner gaze. He was a little maybe a plus-sized little ice He's got that beautiful stare. Hmm. Yes

So nation teeth So Bundy, of course not the man to be held down He decides once he I mean he has a public defender for I believe they ain't gonna hold me down Was the number one song of that summer as well I can tell you had a public defender for his kidnapping trial, but when he was extradited to colorado for murder That's when he decided to defend himself And so he was in one day. He was in the law library Which is and he set it all up on purpose because I said it all up as soon as he's like well

I have to read the the law books then and so because number one when you're defending yourself You don't have to wear handcuffs or any sort of restraints were in the courtroom And then he's like, let me just go in the library. I'm gonna do some research Yeah, and he finds a window and jumps out of a second story He jumps out. He twists his ankle. This guy's free. So he's actually injured for the first time and he's like, why doesn't anybody help me anymore? You know, you imagine the the one woman that actually helps Ted Bundy when he's truly hurt He's like, thank you so much. It was really nice. So he's really nice of you You know, normally I kill women who do this, but isn't that weird, you know, it's like crazy. Well, I'll see you

All right, be seeing you later. So he's on the run for six days after this. They recapture him He goes back to prison and here's the fucked up thing about it is that he was probably gonna get off for the murder of the murder He was charged with because there was it was ultra circumstantial evidence that most of the evidence they had was getting thrown out And this is before DNA testing and all that. Yeah, he was absolutely killing in court But he decided he couldn't wait anymore. So he acquired a hacksaw blade from another inmate He accumulated five hundred dollars in cash and then from women He was fucking outside of the jail because this is when it started where women were the the fascination with them was so deep That they were

Sending him money and sending him shit in jail And so during the evenings while everyone all showered He saw it a whole about one square foot in the corner of a cell ceiling He lost 35 pounds until he was skinny enough to fit through well a christian bail on the machinist Yeah, and then the weeks followed he did practice runs Like at night he would just do practice runs one of the informants He kept telling officers he's like he heard movement within the ceiling during the night, but the officers didn't believe him Oh, yeah, they were just like, yeah, sure

So much fucking ignorance just oh, yeah people and so on December 30th Most of the staff was on Christmas break. He had planned this out for months beforehand. Uh, he Climbed up through the hole into the Into the chief jailers apartment, which was empty because he was out with his girlfriend that night He went to the chief jailer jailers closet. He changed into street clothes and he walked right out the fucking front door Amazing and from there. He stole a car. He made his way to chicago. Yeah Saw some saw some blues. You know had some deep dish. I love that deep Just be it and you roll down an opinion lock me pina colada machine to margaritaville margaritaville and our next stop

Tallahassee florida Yeah, Tallahassee florida Yeah, he bit some bustling or a fucking hamburgers. That's for certain Yes, and I do and you will get kicked out of any coy omega house in in florida If you mention his name, which we learned the fun way Oh, yeah, of course. Henry and the boys all went to a fsu. Yeah, because they had the bundy trail That's we'll talk about this next when we do this next episode. Yeah, and this is really the uh, this is the most known stuff about Ted bunty. Yeah, it starts at fsu. Well, this is his final like, you know, this is his, uh, what's it?

Fifth symphony class his fifth sympathies. Yeah, sympathies. You know, this is his back in black. This is his Right. Yeah, he's doing all his top tier fucking shit. Yeah, and this second episode. Sorry night Brilliant. Um, all right. What are we doing now? Uh, now we're gonna bring in, uh, a listener So what we've decided to do is we're gonna teach everyone here a lesson All right, all of our listeners all of our lady listeners. We're bringing in a lady listener We're gonna throw some top tier ted bundy game at her and we're gonna see if she says yes To any of the things he says and if she says yes, she's dead She's dead. Yeah, so this is what these are the this is this the the sort of stakes we're talking about here

Okay. All right, everybody. We want to welcome nicolette to the show. Thanks for being here nicolette Hi, no problem. All right, nicolette. Let's see Uh, how strong don't you dare choose bundy? Yes, how strong you are to resist the charm of one mr. Ted Bundy one thing I will say is imagine in your head Don't think about us. You know what we look like. Don't even fucking try to think about what we actually look like Okay, imagine. He's dark Kind of bushy eyebrows blue eyes shark smile kind of like kind of like marcus a little bit like marcus Better teeth than marcus strong pecs. I mean my teeth are yellow, but otherwise they're fine. Well, there's some yeah, well

He's got like one of those like collar, but you can see his collar bones. No, you can't see his collar Well, yes, but over his wonderfully placed l l bean turtleneck. Yes. All right, so you well fit. It was a little handsome He's a little handsome. He's a dream boat Just a little yeah, okay. All right. Well, I'll I'll start off Excuse me miss miss. Excuse me. Yes. I mean, I I'm so sorry to ask you and I'm so sorry to bother you, but I'm I've got all these books, uh, and I mean I got this cast here and I'm just having such a hard time taking Do you think you could help me out? Oh, yeah Let me help you out. Oh you did nicolette. You just got killed. You're a dead woman. You're a corpse

Oh my god, you're getting your hair shampooed and mount taylor right now Postmortem sex coming your way. He's bludgeoned in the head. He's putting lipstick on your dead head right now Atch a grass not good. Okay, so you didn't pass test number one. Oh, sorry So again, so imagine you're on the streets in New York City. This just happens to you right Right. Are you in the bathroom at work by the way? No, I'm in the hallway. Oh great great great. Um, all right a man in a police officer's uniform approaches you ma'am ma'am

Yes, ma'am. Uh, did you park your car out here? Uh, this afternoon. Did you park your car out here? Uh, yeah, ma'am. Um, I believe if someone is broken into your car. My name is officer Rosalind Oh, no, look at that. Just take a look at my bed. Just look at look look at my bed Um, and just come with me. Uh, just so you know, uh, we just got to go Uh, take you down the station. Um, because we believe that we have the man that uh, was breaking into your car You're gonna come with me Okay, great. You're gonna come with me. Yeah Come with me. Let's get in the car. So we're gonna show you. You know, absolutely. Yeah, close the door behind you

Yeah, no, I'm a cop. Yeah, it's the cop car. It's the only cop car Um, it's the cop car. I believe it. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Just my my vw bug cop car So we're just driving, you know So, uh, how you doing today? It's some lovely long dark brown hair you have Oh, thank you. I shampooed it today. Yeah, I could smell it That's nice. Yeah, so we're just driving, you know Hmm Oh, that's that that's that police station passing by but that's fine. We'll just keep driving

Shouldn't we stop there? You're dead, Nicolette. You're dead again. What is wrong with you? Get it together. You've been killed twice now I'm really bad at this. It's okay. It's okay. He was good at this. He was very very good. Yeah, he was very very good He is good Um, all right, so uh, let's just do one last one for you. You know, I'm wobbling around I'm on crutches And I'm like, oh my my leg hurts. I hurt myself in a ski accident, right? And then I'm like, I see you and I'm like, oh, hello, young lady How are you? I could I desperately need help getting my produce into this car here

Can you help me out? You look really succulent today. I would just love to kill you and rave your corpse there Just want to help me into the car and I'll probably end up just hitting you in the head Before you can even come close to saying no, so it doesn't even matter. Anyway, how are you? I think I'm all right I think I have to go if you're going to talk to me like that. You live, nicolette. You live, nicolette Look at that. The problem is that you can't be so obvious. That's right. You gotta hide in plain sight That's right. You gotta be charming like we well, I was right Right. Well, come with me in a car. Come with me in a car. Come so one out of two. That's not bad

That's fine. You did great nicolette one and two right So two out of three bad. Well, this is what I will say though is again, nicolette This is the this is the lesson we've learned today. Never help anyone everyone. It's a potential murderer All they want to do is play with your dead body. That's right. You know that though, right? Don't talk to strangers don't get in strangers cars Don't talk with anybody in the subway. All he wants to do is turn you into a human puppet What are you gonna say the next time somebody says oh, I need desperately needed help with my books or my my bags or whatever it is What do you say to him? Fuck off

Yeah All right saving lives Fuck off. That's right. Well, thank you so much, nicolette Thank you. We'll talk to you soon. Okay. Talk to you soon. Goodbye. Have a good show. Bye. That was great We're saving lives. We really are we're learning so much today. Yeah, really powerful stuff. This is great episode I'm glad we could bring a stranger in there. Yeah Not necessarily a stranger. No, I like nicolette lodge comes to the live show what you should yeah Our next live show. In fact, our next live show is going to be a doozy. It's going to be on november

24th the saturday of thanksgiving weekend, correct? No the saturday before thanksgiving. Yeah, so you come on down I believe it's november 24th. It's the last saturday of the month. We want to get it right We want to get it right. Definitely want to get this one right You can always while they're looking you can go to creeklic.com to see exactly what it is. It's saturday november 23rd Come on. Yeah saturday on november 23rd because it's going to be a hell of a night because it's eight o'clock downstairs We're doing round table a gentleman live and then 10 o'clock upstairs. We're doing last podcast on the left live So it's going to be a full ass and we're going to celebrate native americans

That's right as we always do and I Well, I was googling ted bundy lines. I found a whole page of ted bundy jokes So this is kind of a funny one to leave on Why did ten buddy want to become his own lawyer? Why to file wrongful death suits? Which is kind of fun. Well, you know what they say about a man who uh, you know, they blink and said about a man who uh Represents himself. What's that? He's got a fool for a client. Oh, no, he's going to escape and kill five women until I Oh, I heard that one actually. I love that lincoln joke. That's perfect. All right, everybody hail yourselves. Thanks for listening Thank you for listening. Hail satan. Hail me. Hail gene. Hail gene.

And how about this one? How about um, bon voyage? Bon voyage. Spaghetti What is that? That is no reference to spaghetti spaghetti There we go. All right, everybody. We'll talk to you soon.