Last Podcast On The Left - Orphan First Kill: An Interview with William Brent Bell
Episode Date: August 24, 2022Henry sits down with director, producer, and screenwriter William Brent Bell to discuss The Boy films, bringing back The Orphan in prequel form with the new film Orphan: First Kill, creepy kids, real ...life evil orphans, and MORE!
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Hello ladies and gentlemen of the last podcast of the left patreon god, it's good to see you. I mean, I can't see you
I can't really see anything. I have a blindfold on. I'm in an undisclosed location. This is Henry Zabrowski
But you know who's not is my steam to guest
Someone that is out here. I mean because he can't be in hiding because he is on a promotional tour
And he's got he has to be out there. He's in for and they I'm certainly I'm certain he'd rather be asleep
but
No, but he's excited about the movie. No, I see the eagerness in his face. He's excited about the film
We're gonna get into the meat of it
This is William Brent Bell the director of some of our favorite movies on side stories the last podcast
We like we've talked about the boy sometimes where also has come up quite a bit
Which I also it's a great movie. Um, but most importantly this your newest film orphan to
first kill
Which I'm very excited for I'm excited for the world to see. Thank you so much for being here William Brent Bell
Thank you so much for having me and obviously you can call me Brent and
It's for Googles
Absolutely, and no, it's great to be here. You know, I don't really
Really want to be asleep, but no like being in front of out in front of things in a publicity ways
Not necessarily, you know, where I usually am. I'm always behind the camera. So watching the girls watching
Julie and Isabelle doing press this week, you know, I'm just like, ah, they make me look so bad
That's their job and you have to be remember remember remember who made you orphan. Yeah, we say that to the actors. Yeah
Yeah
But it's been fun. It's already been fun. Can I ask you right? So number one, we'll get into the film
I'm excited about this because it's a prequel because at first I was just like how we do in the sequel to
Orphan because not against spoilers. Let's just say orphan doesn't fare very well at the end of the first movie
Her neck takes a turn for the worse. She gets what she deserves. Yeah. Oh, yeah
Um, oh, yeah, but my question is man
What do you have against children?
You know, um, I
Guess I just think that they're kind of up to no good kids kids remain pretty a lot of great really quiet
You know, yes kids are wild but those ones are too obvious
it's the quiet ones who I know hear everything and
You know, I mean, I knew when I was a kid, you know
We are our strongest memories of things like movies are well before 10 and oh, yeah
Yet yet adults look at a kid six to ten and you know
They don't realize how smart kids are and I still remember
How can I think we were as kids?
I was a kid. I was very much so into everything that was spooky and dark
But it also used to terrify me. So essentially, I mean, I would torture my parents
Because all I'd want to see was whatever is the creepiest thing and they were like, oh
Like and I'd read it too because my I started reading Stephen King when I was like 10 years old
Like and it was probably very it's far too young
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But I'm reading it. My mom did the thing. Well, at least he's reading
Which doesn't know that I'm up all night like terrified by my own imagination. Yeah, I mean, but
you know, I
Been thinking about this a lot lately and um, I was terrified too and I saw movies way too young and it's what my parents did
When as a product of divorce they sat me in front of the television and I ended up watching scary stuff
My sister made sure I did she was like four and a half years older that perfect age where she hated me
But also kind of was torturing me by having me watch halloween and stuff as a kid
But it's great and and so while I have these
I have stronger memories about horror films before the age of 10 than I do about like my regular life
Um, the house I was obsessed with movie house
Oh, yeah, little boy and now I rewatch as an adult and I was like it's a very weird
toned film, I mean
There's there's a lot that we were allowed to watch that
had very weird tones and books that were written back then like he said Stephen King, but I mean, you know best sellers back
Um in the late 60s and early 70s when you know such a heyday for horror
also people were buying
Jaws or you know the other or these amazing books that turned into horror films
Um, it's not like that really necessarily more except for kind of the more straightforward
Or like Stephen King or Peter Straub, you know
Did you it's that how you found yourself into because you've directed a lot of horror
Like do you feel that you are like because then I feel like some guys get a little bit like well, I'm
I'm a director. I'm not a horror director, but do you feel that you're like a horror guy?
um
And well, yeah, I mean some I mean I'm from Lexington, Kentucky. I'm always going to be from Lexington
I'm a horror guy like it's just part of my DNA
Some people because some guys get umbrage because I've had this we've talked with directors about this and sometimes you're like
Well, I'm not a I'm a director, you know, and you're like no, I know but you've done only horror films
They're all like but you wait until I do my final, you know rob zombie. I love him
He wanted to do the hot the hockey comedy
You know, I mean that he can't seem to get going. Yeah. Yeah. I mean it's it's
in between movies, um
Sometimes more than others. It's like
It'll always be like well, what's next and then they'll be like
Some science never rom-coms or straight dramas. Yeah, but there'll be um
science fiction ideas or you know things that are in the realm but not straight horror and um
And then I just find myself gravitating right back towards horror and because to me
Of course, it's such a wide spectrum of story styles that a lot of yeah, who aren't as familiar with horror
And they have a preconceived notion in their mind of what they think it is and a community number of things. Usually it's
Either ghost stories or slashers like that's about all they kind of connected to but yeah, you know, it's so much more
Oh, yeah, the genre especially in the last couple of years is really shown just how beautiful and varied
the horror genre is
Horror genre because you can like it can be drama at its highest order
I just recently rewatched the witch to and then you like watch something like that and you're like
And that's a historical drama because we're on last podcast
We're doing the Salem witch trials and you see just how much work
He put into that movie to make it like a real piece of history like a chapter
Talk in that old English style
At first it's like what is this like if I don't get and then you're just okay
I'm immersed in a world where people all talk this way and you have to you have to perk up and pay attention
And to enjoy that movie and I know I've seen stuff where he's kind of ashamed of that movie or something
Or I ever
I was crazy. He said the same thing about the Northman too
He also was trying to walk back to the Northman because he was like, oh, you know, it's an action movie and I was like, yes
It is
Yes, it is. It's a wonderful
But it's saying that he that he had trouble like I didn't know how to tell a story when I did the witch
I was like you just need to come down
Look at it again because you've told a brilliant story
A beautiful story beautiful story. Yeah, do you do do the same as a director?
Is that the thing like do you watch your own work?
Like when you go like do you watch it afterwards? Do you like it still or you're like, I never want to see
boy two again
Oh, that's good. That's a specific
I love Brahms too. This is don't worry. You're about to get a series of boy questions
I mean every movie, you know Ron Howard, I saw something where he said
You know being a director every movie is going to break your heart at some point and it's really true
But it's also kind of like I guess I don't have kids but that and I not that I won't but
But you know movies are kind of like your kids like you can't really choose necessarily and I always know what the intentions were
Or I know
The behind the scenes or the politics
So so I look at a movie that I've done sometimes with rose-colored glasses
Because I might not see it just the way a normal
Public viewing audience would see it, you know, I've got yeah all the other scenes on my avid or I've got
Oh, yeah
You see the other all the movies it could have been you see all the different yeah, and um
and something like the like Brahms in particular was one that
That we've I've never had a situation where you know at the last second the studio came in and completely
uh
Changed the movie sort of and really oh, yeah, and um, but
That wasn't the only kind of problem with that movie
But it was definitely the biggest problem because you know, yeah, I bet and it happens
How does that process happen because it's like I do want to just talk about love of the boy
I want to ask this but like in terms of that like because I've never made I like I've made
Independent films. I've always been on the talent side of it versus like the creating part of it like and the editing
So when you submit your film
So is that idea is like when the when the studio comes and change everything like did you hand them like all right?
We're done
Guys we did all over work
Is it like that where you get a picture lock and you do all of your own sounds and posts
Is all the posts done too by the time you send it to the network and then they just do whatever they want with it
I mean, it's it's slightly different, you know, depending on the movie and and where it is
Like and we may like the film I just did in london lord of misrule with ralphine sin from the witch, you know, um
Man, he's on fire dude. He's on fire. What a fantastic actor the way to you see him in this movie because it's it's
It's the most complete character since the witch. I mean, he's he's you know
It's a full character in the movie that but anyway, um
You know that movie I'm locking picture this
Next week or two
And and finishing the sound mix and stuff like that
But we haven't sold it to a distributor. So when the distributor comes on board
They may crack the movie back open and you never know and and it's oh seriously
They can do that like the distributor does that. Well, no, they do it with me and but oh, okay
It's kind of like, you know, it's with every movie. It's like well now let's spend some more money on this
Or let's try this or have you thought about this and it usually is a good thing and um and sometimes
You know, we go I go through the whole plot. It's not just my cut
It's every cut I oversee and the sound mix and every aspect
But in the case of that movie bombs in particular, um
The company that was producing the film went bankrupt after 30 years making tons of move, you know, lake shore
They made underworld they made
Yeah, million dollar baby and million things and um and they just you know, it's just they were they were too big
And uh, they went under so all of a sudden you had no producers and then the studio
Just kind of cracked it open and
They're like we want to mix and changes because they thought my god and then you're and and you're like
Basically, your production company daddy is gone exactly the person that was supposed to be cradling this through that person
Who's probably it was? Yes. Yes. And so then after I watched it. I was like, have you guys seen what they did?
No, actually, we've not seen seen it like we don't have like they're not involved anymore
So it was just literally you never know when a movie can get tweaked in this huge long process
And that's why I'm so paranoid all the time paying attention, you know
I mean it was the same way devil inside was that way like there was a tweak
after a year of
Beating up that movie and testing it so many times at the last second
The president studio made a change that went down and you know kind of movie history as as a
You know putting up that card at the end of the devil inside
was a last second idea that
the only thing we never tested in that movie and
And he even you know told me later that you made a mistake
He meant for that card to happen after the credits
But it was like you didn't say that and it was one of the last directives that the studio asked us to do
Anyway, it is and then it just changes
You know it can affect the whole oh the entire movie because the ending is one of the most important
Parts of the movie because it's what the audience is the last thing they see
And so it's the last memory they have of what it's it's difficult. I mean, I'm not complaining. It's just
It's it's tricky. It's a lot. It's yeah, and especially if you're trying to do movies that
Are going to be seen by a lot of people, you know, then you've got a lot more money
Be involved in a lot more politics because people are very worried about that money and the marketing very much so
So then
You know judgment and then you can have your whole 90 million dollar movie thrown on the trash for no reason that you worked on for a year
And now it can just go away
even
Yeah, I already done. I mean, that's a shock. It's already I've been texting with every person. I know
in the film industry that we're all like
There's no way that's going to stick, you know, I mean, I feel like we've seen
Lately especially and I don't think this is what they're doing, but there is, you know, where they'll send out kind of negative
You know, like, oh, we're going to be low in cherries this year for the, you know, uh food season
And then everybody goes out wants to buy cherries, but it was like they were never going to be low on cherries
So all of a sudden we're talking about that girl like it's the
The must see it does work. No, it does work everyone. It's true
But it's true because then everyone's like now I gotta see this movie
And then you like and then we're all gonna sit there for the 95 minutes of a essentially a cw show and just be like
Well, I'm glad
How I feel is I'm just glad that everybody gets paid and everybody's work gets seen to me
It's like I just know that how many the most
Talented artisans in the world get paid all of this money just have to work
shelves I really do feel for the people making the costumes
And all of that shit, you know, like I said, I really believe knock on wood in the system or whatever that that movie
Can't be gone, you know, and you're gonna see all this crown swell and I don't understand why now, you know
Like why you don't release it on hbomx, but yeah, it makes no sense
It seems like it's a reader. It's you know, it's fascinating
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So I wanted to ask so we actually he was kind of funny that because when we got we were talking about like
Because you were out here promoting the film
But we actually just had this conversation on our show about the difference between
Orph literally orphan and the boy about how that it's kind of like we it was a jokey conversation
But the breakdown of like no one's an evil child turn adult movie
One is a
object treated as child
Movie and that you can't know the ending of the boy because you don't want to do but like but my question is
What do you see as like the difference between these things like any of like in the in the sub genres of horror
How do you break them apart?
You know what's interesting is is I would probably say that you know
The comparisons more Brahms a guy in the walls to to ester, you know
You know that was what in the show
We didn't want to spoil the ending of the boy who hadn't seen it like we were like but now this is patreon
So they're gonna you're gonna have to know that like the boy's not the boy
Yeah
And and and so the sociopaths of the psychopath the human
Um, it's really just about what what what sliver of this their life story we see so in the boss
We see
the story we see which is mostly about these parents their coping mechanism, right and um,
And then we reveal like it wasn't just a coping mechanism
Um, there's more to it the same thing with you know orphan. It's like
She's a little girl, but she's not she's she's actually this adult sociopath
We've just never delved as much into Brahms's story as we've seen her
Do now two full movies and seen a couple sides to her so
So there are it's there's a lot of similarities
To me certainly on like my the things that get me excited about horror
Well, I like anything the innocent on its head
Is one of the you know, it's such a it's good to say part of horror forever
But like when you went to go to design the boy. Yeah, like no
Yes, the doll the boy like how how many options did you go through and how did you choose?
What the optics were because we had was another kind of conversation
We've had ongoing on last podcast about like Annabelle, right how I actually prefer
Oh, sort of like the actual Annabelle, which was a raggedy and all and it's super plain
And then the movie when they make it a little bit more elaborate
Where I think the boy is a really good down the middle
Like it's just a good old-fashioned creepy porcelain boy
Well, you know and that to me is um scarier than if that boy was making an evil face and
Yes, I had you know, um, you know forget the fact that obviously Annabelle
Was was in the zeitgeist around them as well. So whenever the studio wanted me to make him look scarier
Is that a note that they give you like?
Yeah, like make him scare shouldn't he and but I'm like no, it's like
Damian from the omen or the two twin brothers from the other or
These characters are
Cherubic like sweet kids and but they're holding like a knife behind their back and if you get close enough, they'll slit your throat
But and so I tried really hard to make him look
Um as those dolls did in that time, you know, kind of beautiful and and innocent and um, but you know, we used real
Fake eyeballs like eyeballs. Yeah, you know, it was I mean the amount of the changes and the
Variations in developing him, you know, it was super intense and it was an oh, I bet
I think it was the the when we did the camera test three days before shooting his hair was
terrible it looked like uh, he looked like a
Like a male figure skater. He had this
Hair was like had these wings
And that wasn't like what the design was but it's what the wig looked like
And so the night before we're in there like, you know
Having them cut his hair a certain way going. Oh, this is a nightmare
Like if he shows up like it changes everything then um, and it turned out good like uh, we on the shooting day
He was like, ah
That's that you treat the boy like he's a little cast member
Like is it like do you have to like do like set the tone like when you're doing something scary like that?
Like how do you make everybody kind of feel the weight of it?
Or do people like goof around because I feel like there's kind of different ways people run horror sets where like
It's on one side of it's super extreme. He tends to be like a lighter set. Yeah
I mean, you know, he was kind of treated like a cast member for sure. I mean and
You know, here's what's funny about him on set
You know, he has different looks based on what's happening in the store, especially in second
We was in the dirt
but
He's over there and we put him in a chair and I've got great like, you know behind the scenes photos of him
but
But not only is he is he just sitting there waiting to go on camera and of course you get used to it
You feel like he's a he is a cast member
But like based on like how his hair was we needed it to you know, like be
Style a certain way so he would have little clips in his hair
Like so that his hair would you know curve a certain way when we let the clips down
So it would be like he would be waiting rollers, you know in between tanks
So it wasn't heavy or anything, but it wasn't like goofy. It was like
And he's careful with him, you know, because he's he's
somewhat fragile depending on which version of him he is
But yeah, you know, he's uh, and he just sitting there, you know getting
Lit for a scene
The other actors are across from him and it's really no different, you know, it's kind of like a stand-in except
There is no person to fill the space. It's just him
Because you as an actor you're supposed to technically you've been given the directive of like well
Like I love the interplay of the that's what's so good about the boy
Is the is the is he real like that feeling of like, you know, like you could watch them kind of play that process
Of as he
Became real. Yeah, which is pretty great. Yeah
How how did Brahms the second one prepare you to do this new movie?
So orphan first killed so this is like so you've done a sequel or or like
Yeah, how does this prep you like I mean, obviously they are different structures
But like is there something about like because you didn't make the first orphan. How do you like
Continue that story
Well, you know one thing that's great is the first movie holds up so well, you know, and I mean there's a quality to it
That's dated that we kind of wanted to partly lean into both in the look and sound of it
But um, and it had such a such an exceptional
level of casting, you know for for a horror film
For a movie then so you're like, okay
we have
To some degree the answers to the tests, you know, especially when isabel was officially on board and we knew you know
And I knew like other than the technical aspects of making her believable or you know in the story
We have you know, the actress who knows better than anybody
You know how to bring to life his character, but as far as the look and feel it's like
Part of it is like when in doubt look at the original film, you know, yeah
It was like that with casting, you know, like bringing on julia
To me was a really like it's the same kind of level as uh, vira farmuga, you know, um, and it's like, uh
When you know when it was just normal creative conversations and people like oh, what about this casting choice?
And it's like that doesn't really
Live up to what the original film was so always going back and pointing to the original movie because it was so good
and being able to lean on it on every level to make sure that
You know, we're doing things more in a unique way from the original film
But at the same time it still needs to be that dna so
And and the boy movies definitely prepared me for that for many reasons because it's similar
There's a lot of similarities, you know in the in the
In the look and style. I feel like in the tone
There's like there is similarity in tone, which is like I feel like it actually does allow you to move pretty much directly from the boy
To orphan. Yeah
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Would you feel like now that there has been we talked about this a little before and you said that people have brought this to your attention
The story of natalia grace that was this this story that we covered on side stories quite a bit
But they and they're real
A real tiny person. Yeah pretending to be a child. Yeah, like I said, you know, you know in vintiana
these
Right now it's so popular to watch
Movies and series in particular about these charlatans, you know, whether they're creating
We work or
You know something like the
inventor and
And I think the love of the con man is a slightly american aspirational
Idea because I think it kind of brings up the idea like it's the very core of the make money from nothing
Yeah, I mean American ideal. Yeah fake it till you make it and then what always fascinates me about
Those stories and the story like natalia grace and a story like like ester or lina
um is like
These sociopaths, you know on different levels and they all are
um
Like what are you thinking like what what do you think is the end game here because you can't sustain this?
Eventually, you're not like natalia grace. You're not going to grow up and then they're going to be like what's going on
What's your deal? Yeah?
Like when you cut her hanging out playing dominoes and smoking shit like she's like that character from the simpsons
Like yeah, which I love and it's yeah, so to me. I'm just like, yeah, you know like
Um, I get it as a as a means to an end. Maybe you know like
With ester, you know getting to america. It's a great way to get to america and to slip through
Whatever people were looking for this uh an adult and so she slips through the cracks as a child
But how long, you know, do you think that can last and how many times you're going to continue to do that same thing?
And I feel like with the characters like this their lives are probably probably very painful as normal adults
And yeah, so they slip into these lies
But like I said those lives aren't sustainable
so
When are you gonna learn from lesson?
A lot of times you see these guys, especially pathological liars people that have a
We see it's like some version of an antisocial personality disorder like whatever is in under that umbrella
A lot of times it's the only way that they feel anything like they legitimately have a block
They only feel
They feel nothing like there's nothing registers and the only thing that does register is upping the stakes
Of your current life
Like you do things where you try to fuck with the system
Because it gives you a reaction finally. Yeah, and you know
It's kind of the reverse of something like um, is it munchausa syndrome?
Is that where you were you know where you were you?
Well, you've got the child. Is that well, yeah, they've got the two different. Yes, it is my yeah munchausa by proxy
I believe that it's like the idea that you have the it's the mom keeping the kids sick
kid kind of leaning into the good, you know, it's this sort of inner world of of
I put it just mental illness. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and and um, and so, you know, someone like tally grace. It's like
As an adult is she ridiculed in some way that it's just really her but as a child she gets to be the smartest kid in room and
Oh, yeah, she gets that's great. You know, yeah, she's you know
She's brilliant and it's the same way with ester, you know, she's you know, and we talked about like
Esther's past. I mean, she's 31 in this movie 33 and the other so she's got 20 years
Back and oh, yeah, she's supposed to be you know, but like go to college and she tried to go to college and did she
You know, uh, was she 28 and fell in love with her t. A. Her, you know, teachers assistant or
But got laughed out of that or something and you know, like and then decided, okay, I'm gonna go back to acting like I'm a kid again
Like who knows how many times she tried to become a normal person and it just didn't work out and being exactly to do it
I don't know. And people positioned her already as a little kid. I think that there's a little bit of that too where she looks like a child
And so people kind of treat you as such. Yeah, absolutely
And like you said, she just deals with it like a really brilliant child
Yeah, like so you get nothing but positive validation. Yeah again
Yeah, very thought about this now. Maybe this is kind of this is out of the box
But if you thought about maybe doing a tie-in
Uh to the orphan orphan to first kill
Where you go to orphanages and try to find and suss out these fake children
These fake children and that you do it yourself
You and Isabella
Go from orphanage to orphanage and you get three of them with the pair of parents, right?
And you try to find out which is the secret adult
It's a right. It's it's like, uh, it's like a dating show. Um, you know, who is the fake child?
Who's the fake child? Who is the fake orphan the, um
That's something we haven't thought about and it's like it is one of those great like, um, off
Outside the box
Ideas and a publicity, um
Scenario I think that we should try it. No, I think I'm gonna put money into this
Well, what's interesting to me is is because there's more than Natalia Grace. It's like, oh, yeah, how how many especially, um
adopted
Orphans from another country who are coming in as
Even at 12, but they're actually 18, you know, um, how much of that is actually happening
And how many of those girls, you know, bless their hearts are hoping maybe I will sleep with the dad and get a green card
And you know, those types of things that's rough. Oh, yeah, I'll tell you what man
I don't believe I actually think that it's up to 75% of orphans are fake
Yeah, well, especially yeah, I'm actually I'm pretty I'm that close. I think 75 to 90%
Of orphans are adults
Pretending to be children and that's I wish we could stop it. I wish we could stop you mean and you don't miss you mean
They still could grow up not necessarily. They have a condition that will keep them a child forever
Oh, no, no, that's why they have to wipe out the parents
Yes, they have to wipe out their own parents that they just get in there and then restructure and then become somebody else's orphan
Yeah, I mean, you know
It's it's not that far, you know from from other scenarios that we know are very real, you know
I think I think so. Do you think that between the boy and orphan is the reason why you probably why you don't have children?
I think because you just can't trust them
Yeah, that's part of it in a way. Yeah
You know what it did for me. My wife was we need to talk about kevin
Yeah
Yeah, that stopped it because we were like we're good
We're like we're relatively normal and you could still make a crazy one. Oh, yeah
um, and you know, it's a cross between either them being crazy or you know
They could you know, I could have easily been very, you know depressed and um, and just sad
or yeah, you know
I I I joked like I tried to kill my stepmother once now. This is uh, not really but like when I was like
She was a kind of step monster to me and um
And so I put hairspray on her toothbrush when I was like six years old
unbelievable
You can't trust these kids. I cannot trust a child
Yeah, I think that's I think it's what we know for certain
I'm very scared of them
It's certainly what these stories are leading into, you know that fear that you can't trust a child
Or you can't even trust that a doll's not maybe real or um, or that it's doesn't have a life when the lights go out, you know
I mean, there's there's a lot of
aspects
It creeps me out man
Because I have that I have one of these like I have this like chucky mask above like right on the side of me
And it sits in a way that it's right above my chair
And so when I come if I have to go to the bathroom at night or whatever they coming out
It freaks me out two or three times a week like I see it. Oh, yeah
Well, and that's that's part of the fun too like a tour of of you know, creating scenarios that feel
Grounded in a fairly normal life to where you know, when you leave the movie, you're not off the hook, you know
You still yeah, yeah
Or when you're friends watching the movie, you know, you're still in the middle of the night and you go to your bathroom
Uh, see the chucky mask and it scares you three times a week. You know, that's amazing
It's a goddamn orphan
Dude, so orphan first kill comes out august 19th. Yes
Very excited to see it. I can't wait. I know our people are gonna love it because we're all I'm gonna say we're orphan heads
I mean, it's a movie made very much
It's kind of a love letter to her and to fans
You know of her. I mean, you know, it wasn't just a movie made just to make a movie. It is a movie very much made
With and I'm a fan, you know with to go. Ah, yeah, like I'm gonna I mean, you'll see
I'll always spend more time
with an orphan
I can't wait, but thank you so much Brent. Thank you so much for talking to me today
And we'll put up a little link and I'll let you know when it goes up great man. Thank you so much
Thank you again to all you patreon listeners for every single thing that you've done
Now all of the delicious duckets that you have given from your hot wet little pockets
To our big wide cold
Dry pockets and I want to say thank you
Thank you so much
Hail Satan
Go watch orphan first kill. I know I'm going to you know, I like this shit and it's gonna be it's gonna be great
Get high as hell
Drink a bunch of beers
And hopefully an orphan does a little bit more mayhem
because
God I need it