Last Podcast On The Left - Page 7: Valenwine's Day

Episode Date: February 17, 2018

In an effort to show you what else we got going on at The Last Podcast Network, we're dropping our latest episode of Page 7 into your feed: Jackie, Molly & Marcus discuss the "Queer Eye" reboot, the drama between Kim Cattrall & Sarah Jessica Parker, and the upcoming arrival of Gunt Knefel. WE THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE IT. Last Podcast on the Left will return next week with a topic you're going to love. Hail yourselves!

Uh-oh, guys, she woke up with another bad one in her head. Can you take me higher? Marrow to a place where blind men feel. Can you take me higher? Marrow to a place where golden streets. I am going to kill myself today's the day. I am going to kill you too. Because we record this show on Wednesdays and on Tuesday yesterday,

I was walking around. So it has been six days since I had seen you guys. And I'm walking around my house going, I don't know when the hotline is like, I can't only mean one thing. And I'm like, why? I like stopped and evaluated. I was like, why, why, why do I have Drake in my head?

And then I remembered that it was six days ago when we last recorded this damn podcast that Jackie started off the show with Hotline Blade. Welcome to Page 7, everybody. I'm Marcus Parks. I'm Molly Nuffin. I'm Jackie Zabrowski bringing you the earworms you don't want to hear worms.

I was up this morning for those of you that don't know, we released our Patreon page this morning. So come check us out. Just look up Page 7 under podcasts on the Patreon. We listed it in the Facebook group. We got it on our Twitter. Come at us. But I was just talking in it when I was writing,

I was writing at like 6 30 this morning. And I was just, I typed the word higher and now I can't get it out of my head. That's why that's how that happened. Posting our Patreon link has led you to Creed. Yes. And you know what? I legitimately thrown it out there.

Enjoyed Creed. I did. Yeah, me too. I own both my own prison and what was the set? What was the one that Hire was on? I don't remember the album. You had two Creed albums. I had the debut, of course.

And then I had the one after that. Were you, what was your relationship with the Christianity? Uh, Nabilis. It was there, but I was there for the rockin' tunes more than it was for the fake Christianity that Scott Stapp and company were puttin' for us. I had some friends who were in a Christian rock band in high school and one of those Christian rock songs

I loved and I'll still jam out to that song. So I'm not above jammin' out to some Christian rock. I mean, honestly, with Arms Wide open, it's still another one that gets taken away. With Arms Wide open. Wanda survive. I just, Scott Stapp's voice is so, you know what? Intoxicating.

I'm gonna say it, intoxicating. Intoxicatin' like a nice cool bottle of Boone's Farm. Yeah, hell yeah. Although, when I just typed in Creed into my computer, first thing on Rolling Stones, the 10 worst bands of the 90s, excuse me. I think I gotta go with Rolling Stone on this, guys. I mean, they are fuckin' Creed.

I feel like I'm in a parallel universe right now. You guys are both talkin' about how much you love Creed. No, we're not talkin' about how much we love Creed. Okay, to get that out of your head right now, we're talkin' about how at one point in our lives we both enjoyed Creed. 97, 98, it was a heady time. Yes, but there was a lot of good songs around in 97 and 98,

which, you know, maybe Creed got swept up in there. I've seen Creed play twice because they're from Tallahassee, so they were performed at Florida State. So, again, I've seen them perform twice. Oh, my God, do I still like Creed? Okay, see, now that's a little different there because you liked Creed in college. Well, I'm, you know, I'm...

Yeah, that's not the year 1997. No, it came out in 1999, so I was 12 years old. I'm allowed to like Creed at 12. I don't know. Between the two of you, you got two Creed albums and two live shows. I feel like it's a level of fandom

that is like more than some of my actual favorite bands that I've had. Oh, no. Oh, no, who am I? I'm not 24601 right now. That's for fucking sure. I ain't no prisoner, no Les Mis, bitch. I'm gonna have six days from now

I'm gonna be walkin' around singin' Can You Take Me Higher. And then you're gonna go, let's do it on Spotify and then you're gonna get into my own prison and you're like, it's okay. Human Clay was the other album, by the way, Marcus. Human Clay. Human Clay.

Yeah, that's right. It had that horribly photoshopped cover that like looked like belonged to like a Tallahassee bar band instead of a multi-platinum selling rock band. Well, and wasn't there a Christian, another Christian rock group called Jars of Clay? Jars of Clay, yeah. Human Clay, that's right.

Well, they're moldable, Marley. Jesus Christ is a molder of men. Jesus is that the thing? Is that what the thing is? Oh, my God. Our Lord Jesus Christ, Marcus. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Well, I mean, we released something else

on our Patreon page. It's time to start talkin' about Baby Gunt on here. That's true, it's our own blind item that we are releasing. Rich podcast host is pregnant. It's definitely not me. Not Marcus, and it's not Jackie. Congratulations, Marley, Marley's pregnant! Congratulations!

Oh, my God. The very first LPN baby. The very first. Yeah. This is amazing, and I just can't wait to see, I think that it should be a fight to the child death of who has the baby first you or JoJo. I know.

Well, I told you, I tried to figure out exactly what her due date is based on the tweets, and I'm pretty sure that I'm a couple of weeks ahead of her if we can take Chip Gaines' tweets at his word that the baby was conceived after that concert that I already forgot the name of the band that it was. But we're pretty close. We're like pregnant peers.

So, you know, it's basically like we're best friends. So if you have a boy, are you going to name him Gunt before she gets to it? Because she's definitely going to name him Gunt if you don't. You know, I already know that a lot of listeners are going to be demanding that my child take that name, but what we have to remember is that we summoned the existence of Gunt Gaines out of a specific conversation

for the need for a fifth Gaines' child. I just don't feel like I can take that name, which clearly belongs to this other fetus. You know, I just don't feel like I can take that and bring it into my own family. That is a Gaines' family name. You're right. Gunt Neffle sounds actually really fun, too.

I'm very German. Actually, I totally want to hang out with Gunt Neffle. Oh, Gunt Neffle has a lot of bad ideas, I feel. It's 100% more German than I am, that name. But yeah, so I am excited to go through this with JoJo, and I'm excited for, thank you to listeners who have already said congratulations. People were very, very sweet and had a lot of very good gifts,

but I will dispel any rumors that the name might be Gunt because that is already taken by the Gaines' child. Go for you, baby. Go for you, girl. Did you see, speaking of Chip and JoJo, did you see it? Today is Valentine's Day. Happy fucking Valentine's Day to you guys. Whatever.

I'm calling it Valentine's Day. Where are all of the Valentine's Day things? That's good. That's way better than Valentine's Day or whatever. Yeah, Valentine's Day. That's like when you hang out with your friends. Although I do like the Valentine's Day, which is always February 13th, which is from Parks and Rec

because they cheated out this picture that they had a little reunion yesterday of all of them spending Valentine's Day together, and that's kind of sweet. Yeah, Valentine's Day is fun, but Valentine's Day is much better. I am currently drinking white wine out of a mug, and it says it is a recipe for fuck off pie.

It says one cup of no one cares, a dash of kiss my ass, a tablespoon of fuck you, a pinch of blow me, stir and shove it up your ass. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Well, you know, you're drinking for two now, since I can't,

so I expect you to take on that burden for me. Technically, I'm drinking for three if you include the gunt that's inside of you. Yes, that's true. You're drinking so that you can one day, when the baby is much, much older and an adolescent teen, or maybe even older,

teach them how to have healthy drinking habits. Yeah, sure. Real healthy. I'll learn how to drink from your Aunt Jackie. Man, I'm going to make your kids so fucking cool. Although at the same time, my niece won't read all the Holocaust books we give her, so what are you going to do?

But why not? I will point out the laugh that Molly, like when you said, I'm going to make your kids so cool, and Molly goes, yeah. Let me have that kid. I'll wait until the kid is 13.

How about that? Yeah, I mean, I actually, you know, I feel like, you know, it's this weird thing where you're like, ooh, all my cool friends are going to make my kid cool. But then when I think about my childhood, I'm like, I didn't really, like my parents' friends,

I was like, oh, other adults, you know, so I want my kid to think that my friends are cool, but I don't know if kids are really set up to think their parents are cool. No, not at all. We will be uncool by association. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, Henry and I are both an uncle to this child,

and she thinks that we're the lamest thing on earth, so, you know, that's fine. Whatever. But back to what I was going to say, is that this morning I got a little teared up because I was reading Chip's Valentine's message on Twitter to JoJo. I read that.

It was sweet, and I loved it. He was like, it's all about commitment. Yeah, he says, it's no such thing as a quote, perfect marriage. For me, it's always been simple, commitment. Every morning I wake up committed and pray that she chooses the same. And so today, again,

I choose my beautiful bride to have and to hold till death do us part. Hashtag Happy Valentine's Day, sweet girl. I think it's fine. I actually don't know if I agree with the sentiment. I feel like commitment is not what, you need, like, the idea of waking up and choosing your partner

is like, great, I think you should do that every day. Commitment in and of itself, if it's a bad relationship, commitment's bad. You know what I mean? Well, it's also, it's a little desperate. It's like, every morning I wake up committed and pray that she chooses the same. Yeah, a little bit.

It's like, Jesus, Chip, just settle down a little bit. Be secure in your relationship here. Yeah, admittedly, Joanna Gaines is in a totally intergalactically higher than him. And I love Chip a lot. Yeah, but also, I mean, we all think that she fucks the carpenter. So maybe that's what this is really about.

The wood guy. He's a craftsman. The wood guy. He's not just a carpenter. But yes, I do think that, I mean, but that guy, Clint, when Chip tweeted about the pregnancy, Clint retweeted Chip saying,

what did he say? Remember, he said, like, at a boy. Yes, at a boy. Which I fucking hate. I hate it when people are like, yeah, you fucked her. Yeah, good job on the goosh. Yeah, but at the same time, I think he did that because it's just like, I think he's also just sitting there

like crossing his fingers like, please don't be mine. Please don't be mine. Please don't be mine. Yeah, just a reminder, like, I'm also fucking her. At a boy. I imagine they're Christian enough that they don't use condoms, right? I'm going to go ahead and assume that.

So his goosh could be this gun. You never know. No, they've got, they've got like, seven years between them and the last kid. I'll bet that they use something. And to get the full story on the gun thing, just listen back about five or six episodes. Soul, explain that.

Some new listeners may be confused about our liberal use of the word gun. Yeah, and that this isn't technically a podcast that's only about Chip and Joanna Gaines on the show of Fixer Upper. It's just a show where we talk a lot about Chip and Joanna Gaines on the show of Fixer Upper. Just because I'm completely obsessed with their family

and that's okay. I don't follow them. I'm not going down to Waco. You don't see me down there. It's fine. And you know, I said that Joanna's in a, in a better, in a higher league than Chip. And I say that as somebody who has,

who has found myself doing some fantasizing about Chip. You know, I think Chip is a, Chip, Chip is, he sneaks up on you. You realize you're in love with him after a while. Oh my God, I'm completely in love with him. I'm completely in love with him. That said, I do think JoJo is just in a, you know, she's just, you know, Stella.

Yeah, yeah. She's intergalactic. I love her. I love everything about her. I love that even her beautiful sister, she's still hotter than. Guff, uh-huh. And all of the children are beautiful.

You know, she's also one of these pregnant people who like just, you know, looks fantastic all the time and is still really well dressed and like, you know, I feel like I've just been wearing the same two shirts because I don't want to buy more clothes, you know. And meanwhile, Joanna Gaines posted a picture of herself and she's like, oh, I woke up in the middle of the night and had the munchies and there was no cookies in the house.

So I baked some fresh cookies. Jesus Christ. That's, that's almost a little too much. Come on. That's a little too much. Too much. Yeah. Who does that?

Nobody that would just lie down, JoJo. It sounds like she has a terrible anxiety problem that she's trying to get under control. Yeah, I often wonder what their demons are. They must have some because they don't present any and they must, everybody has some demons. Yeah. Oh, I got a lot of demons.

What is it? The child's hand killer and, um, it was a frailty. You guys remember that movie? Like, my hands. It was frailty. Oh, dude, it's pretty good. It's got Matthew McGonaughey and Bill Paxton.

It's all these flashbacks and they're trying to figure out who the gods, oh, it's God's hands killer. And he's like, my hands only killed demons. It's set in the south and it's fantastic. Just throwing it out there. Kind of creepy. Ooh, and Matthew McGonaughey plays the killer. Dude, well.

At least from what I can see from the, he looks very scary on the poster, so I'm just assuming here. No spoilers. He's very scary in it. It's pretty good. I haven't seen it in a forn young, but I imagine it holds up.

Yeah. But what I have been, what was that? A man confesses to an FBI agent his family's story of how his religious fanatic father's visions led to a series of murders to destroy supposed demons. Yeah, I'd watch that. Yeah. His hands are there to kill demons, baby.

Ooh, Powers Booth is in it. Dude, he's so good at it. Oh, and also a man named Dirk Cheatwood. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Sounds like the name of the carpenter. Jojo fucks, sonfixer upper.

Am I cheating woods? Got her good. Oh, Clint, your brother Dirk sounds sad. Oh, I'll fuck Dirk Cheatwood. Ha ha ha ha. Well, speaking of scary, can we please talk about what I think is the most important news of the week, which is the feud between Sarah Jessica Parker

and Kim Crotell. I have not been able to stop thinking about it since the weekend we have to talk about it. Dude, it's already insane. So you want to give the backup story, like what happened before? Yeah, well, so the backup story, and I actually meant to refer to it back to you guys,

because we've talked about this in the blind items. They've had this longstanding feud, Sarah Jessica Parker and Kim Crotell, and I actually was going to ask you Marcus, I feel like I remember a blind item where we all are in the Kim Crotell camp, because I just think that's the only camp there is. I'm there by default.

I'm like there in solidarity. I really don't have an opinion on it, but I'm there in solidarity. We're just like dragging you into the camp. Sure, fuck! But because obviously Sarah Jessica Parker just seems like a huge bitch, and Kim Crotell seems perfect.

Although, I don't know, you still feel this way? Well, right. So that was how I felt kind of going into all of this, and I do think I do still feel this way, but I think that there are some, basically I think that even before this all happened this weekend, I think that there was some dispute as to who's actually the real bitch,

and I think that I'm afraid it might actually be Kim Crotell. But I think it might be. And so Sarah Jessica Parker, so Kim Crotell's brother very tragically went missing and then died, and she put out a statement about it. And this was last week, and then... Well, originally her brother went missing. I know when he knew where he was,

and then turns out he wound up dead. Yeah, for a few days, and then she issued the statement, you know, thank you for your thoughts and prayers, but we've, you know, tragically, we're releasing the news that my brother's died, and then, you know, she said, please respect my privacy during this time, my family's privacy during this time.

So Sarah Jessica Parker then goes and makes a post, you know, a public, she didn't DM her, she did a post that was like, my condolences for your family, Godspeed, and I'm thinking of you, thoughts and prayers, et cetera. To which Kim Crotell responded with the most hilarious Instagram post that was like, you are not my friend,

you are not my family. When I say respect my privacy, that applies to you. And don't try to go and rewrite history with making you seem like you're actually nice. And then she included a link to a New York post article called the Inside the Mean Girl Culture of Sex in the City. Yeah, that destroyed Sex in the City. Yeah, that destroyed Sex in the City,

that paints Sarah Jessica Parker in a very negative light. So that was the initial development, and that's not all, but maybe we can pause there to evaluate. I don't know, I feel like it was a very, I don't know, what do you think, Jackie? It was a real stone cold post. I mean, it's definitely stone cold, they definitely hate each other.

And now that it's just like out in the open, it is weird because when Cynthia Nixon sent her condolences publicly, she accepted it and thanked her for it. Right, exactly. When Cynthia Nixon was like publicly said, you know, thoughts and prayers, Kim Crotell was like, thank you so much. I love you.

Cynthia, hearing your voice meant so much to me. Thank you for reaching out. I love Kim, hashtag Sex in the City. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Yeah. It's insane. What is wrong with him? So that's a pretty big, that discrepancy

between how she reacted to Cynthia Nixon and how she reacted to SJP is a pretty big one. I mean, it just seems like Kim Crotell is like a huge diva, and then Sarah Jessica Parker is just kind of a mean girl. But look at Sarah Jessica Parker, I think she kind of deserves mean girl status because then I saw that, what's her name? Superstar.

What's her name? Molly Shannon. Molly Shannon, who I love because she's on divorce right now with Sarah Jessica Parker, came out also in defense of Sarah Jessica Parker, that she's like, I've never had a problem with her. I love working with her. To me, that working on the show is not,

it's not work because all I do is have fun with Sarah Jessica Parker. And you know what, who I believe most of all is Molly Shannon. Yeah, and that's, I think that we've read Blind Items on here before that's like actually, even though it seems like Sarah Jessica Parker is the huge unpleasant bitch that's actually Kim Crotell

and that Sarah Jessica Parker, even though I don't know why we all just assume she's horrible and we want to hate her, I think it's because she's like teeny and well dressed and wearing all those silly outfits. And I think that she actually might be nice. Although that post article that Kim Crotell posted says that she was really jealous

that Kim Crotell was such a screen, like that she was the one that everybody wanted to, she was a scene stealer because she was so funny, which is true. And Kim Crotell's character is definitely the best character on Sex and the City. For show, man. But I don't know, I'm just throwing in our own

personal feedback because Henry worked on a project with Matthew Broderick and met her multiple times and when we were talking about, he's like, she was nothing but nice to me and I was a nobody. So at least if anything, she is openly a nice person, so I don't know what she's one-on-one with working with her mean girlness, but at least she's just nice to people.

But I've heard the same thing about Kim Crotell. That she's nice. Like from trusted sources, that she's extremely nice and just kind of like super cool. I think this might be one of those situations where you just have two people that fucking can't stand each other. Like two people that are like on their own

are totally nice and fine and all of that. But when they get together, they just fucking hate each other and they have decided to make this fact public. Yeah. But also let's be real here. Does anyone really, I love Sex and the City. Does anyone really need to see a third movie? No, absolutely not.

I love Sex and the City so much and for that reason I don't want to see a third movie. I still don't talk about the existence of the second movie. But Molly, they were in Dubai. You shut up. We don't talk about it. It's dead to me. I cannot look at it.

When people say Sex and the City movie too, I just pretend that I don't understand what they're saying because the first Sex and the City movie is not unproblematic but I still love it. But the second one, I just can't do it. But I do not want a third one. I don't. It's been too long.

Guys, it's been like 15 years. Yeah, I love it though. I do. I mean, you know, I would definitely watch it but I would just watch it and sit there and be like, oh girls, come on girls. What do you know?

But if they want to bring it back, I will play Samantha. Okay, yes, I will do it. Thank you for asking me. Yes, I would love to do that. Well, and you didn't, you were an interesting person, right Jackie? Because you didn't come to Sex and the City until later in life.

Oh yeah, man. And then I just slammed through all of it and it was the fucking best. I mean, very dated though. But that's okay. Very dated. Very 90s. But yeah, I remember being impressed

and also kind of jealous that you got to experience Sex and the City for the first time just a few years ago. I mean, it was pretty amazing. I highly recommend anyone do it. I think it's good. I think it's great for both men and women too. Yeah, that's the thing.

I think men should watch it. Ben Kissel here on the network loves Sex and the City. Oh yeah? Oh yeah, huge fan. Gigantic fan. That's fun. Man, speaking of things coming back,

have you guys watched Queer Eye yet? Not yet. It has been on in the house quite a bit while I've been working in my office. So I've been kind of coming out and seeing like a little bit when I take breaks. How is it? I love the original Queer Eye

and I'm curious how this one is going to shake out. I fucking love it. I love it. I love it. I watched all of it in one day, which says a lot about my life. But I, because I also love the original and I think everyone kind of had the same.

Marcus, did you watch the original? I did not. I mean, it's like, I feel like it's like one of the, it's another one of those that was like, oh, we just kind of on. I don't remember actually like sitting and just like watching it straight through. But whenever it was on, I would throw it on.

And dude, it is, I've cried at every single episode. It is so, it's just so heartfelt. And I feel like there are definitely moments that they're making them all be best friends a little too much. But I love them all individually so much. It's upsetting. I can't believe there's only eight episodes. And now I've heard that it's even better

because I think that now that many years have passed, we now know that Ted Allen is kind of a dick. Yeah. The chopped guy. Yeah. I mean, he's definitely kind of a dick. But the whole thing is, I think that they're like, they're trying to make it rather than before,

I guess the theme was that they were looking for tolerance. And now they're looking for acceptance. So it's all in these little towns in Georgia. So it's all these small town dudes that they're trying to, you know, just like coming to me like, hey, we're just, we're just people. Let's hang out. And like straight up the first episode,

he was like old school Georgia man, you know, he'd been married three times. Like he wore George's whole off. And he just, by the end, even he was crying with them because he had never been touched like that by people, especially that he didn't even know, that just gave him a chance to be himself. Oh.

Oh my God. It's so good. It's so good. I was like, I was watching on the Facebook page and everyone's like telling me to watch it. I was like, all right, I guess I'll do it. And I just sucked in. I love it.

Yeah. I have been hearing from the living room over the last couple of days because Carolyn has been very sick and watched all of them as well. Every once in a while, it would hear like a sick week. Aw. Like just an acknowledgement.

It's like everything okay. She's like, no, this show's very sweet. Yeah. I feel like it's interesting that they're bringing it back, right? Because it's just, it's a different, it's, yeah, I feel like at the time that it came out, it was people were like,

it wasn't exactly the people were like gay people on television, but it was kind of like that. Yeah. And it's, and it's a different, you know, it's a different kind of cultural landscape now. Well, also in the fact that it was set in New York originally. Right. So technically that's a cosmopolitan area

that of course, you know, it's like the whole, you know, the whole country was behind at that point on this, on this aspect. But now that like they're taking it to the south, it just kind of changes things. And it just, there's definitely like, there's a few forced moments of conversation that even I still was touched by.

Like there was a cop from this small Georgia town. And what's his name? The one with the K. Oh my God. He's so fucking hot. Well, they're all really hot. Uh, Karamo was like, he's the culture one. And they got into a whole conversation because very up top, they get pulled over

when they're in the car. And they think, but it's actually like, you could tell like, I think they actually thought they were getting pulled over. And he was the one that was driving. And when the cop came around, he didn't have his license on him. He's like, sir, we're just shooting a show. And then it ended up getting into this conversation

about Black Lives Matter and how like people interact with each other. And it was, it was definitely state, like the second conversation was definitely staged, but it still was a good conversation. Hell yeah. And they're all, is it, is it the same as before? Is it like wardrobe, apartment, food, culture?

Design. Well, yeah. Design. Yeah. And because now they have grooming and like clothing. Okay. Oh my God, Jonathan's the best. I am so attracted to gay men. This is a lifelong thing, isn't it?

Just forever. I could never truly shake it. That's my problem. Oh, don't even get me started on the dating apps. Good Lord. Just like, you know what I, you know what I feel like Queer Eyes, original Queer Eyes biggest legacy is in my mind

is that it was the first time that I saw the argument for if you're going ball, if a man is going ball, that he should just shave his head. And, or at least, you know, if you're going to keep some of the hair, keep it very, very close. And I feel like that since then, I'm not necessarily saying Queer Eye did it,

but since then, that has definitely become the best practice. Like people don't have that mushroom of hair around their head anymore. Yeah. And I think that that was a huge contribution to society. That's a good thing. Oh man, I watched something else this week that really screwed me up.

I was hanging out with Ed Larson from Round Table, a gentleman, and he's like, you know, you want to see like a scary movie? It's like a German scary movie. I was like, yeah, dude. Have you seen White Ribbon? No, not yet, but I hear it's great. Good Lord.

Don't go into it thinking it's a horror movie. He's like, it's the same guy that did funny games. It's going to be great. Let's like, let's say it's like a three hour long black and white movie of the small German down in the 30s that like where the children are creepy, but it's more, it's just like the whole pre-Nazi thing. I mean, Marcus, you're going to love it.

Oh yeah. That's why I'm surprised you haven't seen it yet. It's very, but it's very long and intense. Yeah. I haven't had time for a long and intense movie lately. I need to sit down and check it out though. Maybe tonight. Maybe that'd be a good Valentine's Day.

Good Valentine's Day. Yeah. I mean, we're both big horror movie fans. That's a shared love of both of us. So, you know, actually a pretty good Valentine's Day movie. Yeah. Maybe a Nazi kid, a kid Nazi movie. So it's set pre-World War II, but it wasn't made pre-World War II, right?

Correct. Yeah. It was made in 2009. Marcus, I'd like you to watch it because I need to talk to somebody about that's not Ed because Ed has seen it like six times, which I think means he's a crazy person. I was like nauseous through most of it. So, but there's no gore.

It's just one of those like long, just like, ugh. It's more about like how humanity is awful than anything. I've been thinking about that a lot lately. Just up your alley. So I'm cool with that. Yeah. I'm thinking about the innate terribleness of human beings lately in a totally different context, but it'd be nice to watch something

that confirms like, no, we've always been awful. Yeah, I might actually be interested in that too. I think, well, what I've decided for my Valentine's evening by myself is I'm going to watch call me by your name alone. Call me by your name. That's the, that is the like erotic, new erotic gay romance movie. Right? Oh yeah, baby.

I've heard mixed reviews. I'd be curious to hear what you have to say. I mean, you know, I'm going to love it. Are you kidding me? A romance between an older man and a young hot man. Of course I'm going to love it. My problem, well, because it won for the Writers Guild Award for I think best original screenplay.

Um, and so did get out one as well. And I just, I want to see it so badly because someone described it to me as, you know, the sadness of thinking about your first love and how you're never going to feel like that ever again. And I was just like, yeah, I do know that. And so it kind of scares me. But you know, maybe you just need to just like stab at your heart, be like, do you, do you ever, are you ever going to feel again?

I think getting, I'm fine. I'm getting drunk on Valentine's Day. Getting drunk and crying on Valentine's Day was my single routine that I had as a single person. So I feel like that, like that was the one thing I could count on was getting drunk and not crying. Um, what I would cry about would be a whole range of topics, but I feel like getting drunk and crying is a necessity.

I used to get high and watch Nazi documentaries. Also good. That's why white ribbon technically now is, I mean, that's just a, that's just a routine for you. I'll just do it sober this time. I'll just have a couple beers and not get drunk or anything like that. But you know, have a nice, relaxing, Nazi and beer night. Yeah.

That actually seems like just on par with tradition for you. Yeah. Yeah. Bringing it back. That sounds great. I really, speaking of movies that make you cry, apparently, I really, really, really want to see Coco. I've heard that it's like the best animated movie ever made.

Have either of you guys seen it? Have not seen it yet. It is insane on these dating apps that there's a lot of things that say, like, last time you cried and most men say Coco. Really? Well, that's interesting. Very interesting. I guess it makes me want to watch it.

You know, I'm not a big cartoon person. Me neither. I don't usually want to watch, um, animated films, which makes me feel like a crank. I mean, I think, well, I, both of you enjoyed and loved sing, correct? I haven't seen sing. Oh my God. Both of you need to, oh my God.

But this movie was, it was like made for the two of you. I love sing so much. Really? Yeah. It's one of my feel good movies. Like if I need to, like as one day I was having like, it was just like going through a particularly bad like depression stretch. And like we're like going through movies is like the afternoon and,

you know, Kelly was like, well, why don't, why don't we watch that? That, that looks like fun and light and whatever. I'm like, whatever. Okay. Fine. And like by the end of it, like I'm like weeping a little bit, like feeling like kind of inspired and like you just feel good the entire time and like people like chasing their dreams,

but also like they're all like pigs and they're singing and dancing. And you know, there's like a dead British monkey or he's a gorilla. But yeah, it's like a British gorilla. And then there's like, you know, these weird little like Chinese or Japanese dogs. It's so cute. It's the whole movie. So cute. And it makes you feel so good.

Yeah. Watch sing both of you. Okay. You know, I don't like uplifting things. Like that's my problem. I don't want to be uplifted. I want to be upset. You're going to love it.

It's like it because it's all like pop music, but like really fun pop music. Okay. It's very, it's just, it's just fun. It just kind of makes you feel good. But that's the same thing for me. I don't want to watch uplifting things either. I don't know.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I want to watch things that are completely like free of narrative any more complicated than like at the beginning they need a house. And at the end they have a house. You know, this is a very complicated narrative. It's a lot of animals going for their dreams. Okay.

And Matthew McConaughey plays a koala bear. Oh, see Jackie, that's right up your alley. That's not a sell for me. I love Matthew McConaughey. See, holding gets upset with me because I haven't seen sing street yet, which is another movie. Have you guys seen this? Yeah.

Sing street's fine. It's, it's also fun, but I think you'd hate it. See, he feels about sing street the way you feel about sing. And every time he's just like, you have to watch sing street. You're going to love it. And I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't know. You will hate it. Right.

You will absolutely hate it. Yeah. I know, I know your taste. I think you would hate sing street. I could be wrong. I could be, I could be mistaken here, but I'm pretty sure you're going to hate it. All right. I liked it.

I liked it just fine. You know, it's like cool music stuff and all that. And it's, it's fun and everything. You know, I enjoyed the movie. Why do you trust more Marcus or Holden? Well, I mean Marcus, I mean, Holden did give me the Lord album, which I do love, but I think Holden knows me more for my music than for my movies. Yeah.

You and Marcus have pretty incredibly disturbingly similar taste in movies. That's why I know you're going to love sing. And that's why I know you're going to love white ribbon. All right. Well, at least we both got things we got to watch now. All right. I'll watch sing. I'll do it.

I'm really intrigued because someone on the Facebook group told me to watch this movie called Rust and Bone, which I issues like there's a lot of amazing sex in it. But then I read the description of the movie and I got really excited to watch it. Al or Ali, a former boxer and single father meets Stephanie when he saves her from a brawl at the nightclub where he works as a bouncer. Their casual acquaintance develops into something much more after Stephanie, whose trains kill her whales at a marine park suffers a horrible accident and loses both her legs above the knee.

As Stephanie draws on Ali's physical strength, an unexpected courtship slowly comes to life. So I think that Marion Cotillard, I don't know how to say her last name because she's French. I think it's a lot of no leg fucking. You know, I just don't think that you can beat the I know who killed me. For that genre, you know, the one with Lindsay Lohan where she also missed loses several limbs. So really? Oh, yeah, one to two limbs. I don't remember how many limbs she loses.

Do you ever see I know who killed me? You know, I have it. Is it is there a lot of sex in it, though? Oh, yeah, she's like a sex worker who I don't even remember why she loses her limbs. I think she's stalked by someone. And then I don't I remember watching it, but I think I was not sober when I watched it. And it was 2008 when I watched it. And it was on DVD.

So that just gives you a sense of what time period it was. This is the dumbest synopsis I've ever heard. A young woman who is missing reappears, but she claims to be someone else entirely. Unmemorable plot. But don't they say anything about her limbs? No, it doesn't mean anything. Oh, she definitely loses some limbs. I see it.

I see a still of her without her legs covered in blood. So you're definitely right about that. But there's also a lot of stripper pictures of her. Yes, the whole I think the first 20 minutes or so is just her stripping. And then she goes missing and then she comes back and she doesn't have her limbs. It has a 7% on rotten tomatoes, by the way. And while filming the climax, she didn't just stop showing up for filming. They used a body double and digitally replaced her face with low hands.

Wow. So they actually pasted a face on a body double. Maybe I'm going to watch that tonight, honestly, because that movie was made in, I think, 2007 or 2008. Because I watched it in 2008 or 2009. So you know that the CGS must not have been that good. So I'm really interested in seeing how that face replacement went. Was not screened in advance for critics. Yeah, but at the same time, Molly, I don't know if you can soberly as a pregnant woman watch this movie.

Yeah, though you're right. I got to wait till I can get real fucked up again. Yeah, you're about to really taste your tests. Yeah, I don't know. Test your tastes. Excuse me. Sobriety makes it hard to watch things that are much more fun to watch when you are stoned and drunk. I imagine.

All right, it's time for the list. Oh, who's on the list? Marcus, got to have that list. Famous couples. You guys are going to hate this one. Perfect. Famous couples who have matching tattoos. Ew.

Ew. Ew. Ew. Man, you know, I got to say, never get a tattoo with a significant other or of something that they drew. Because I was really close for a really long time because you're like, oh, you're with someone for 10 years. No way this is going to end. Val and wines day. David and Victoria Beckham have several matching tattoos, including matching Hebrew phrases that translate to I am my beloved.

I am my beloved and my beloved is mine. Jesus. You know, I got to say, their relationship does seem pretty solid. It is not. No? No, the blind items this month have been full of David Beckham stepping out, and Victoria Beckham just kind of having to deal with it. Wow. How could you cheat on Posh Spice?

He is David Beckham. Yeah, but she's so tight. That is true. He is such a hot daddy, though. I mean, still straight up. I'm not even usually into like the model types, but good lord, man. Yeah. Even his child, his son, he's 18 now, so I'm allowed to say that.

Brooklyn is, he's a hot little tot. Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus, they do have matching tattoos, but the weird thing is, is that they actually have, I mean, it's one of my favorite FDR quotes. Really? Strangely enough, yeah. If he fails, well, it's halved. Like the first Hemsworth says, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, and Cyrus says, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat. And I love that quote. I'm a huge FDR fan and all that, but that's weird.

Yeah, it is. That's unexpected. That's a weird, that's a weird matching quote. They both seem like shallow people. Actually, they're actually, it seems like they're both pretty smart though. Yeah. I mean, to get as far as that they have, you know, it's like, I think that they are fairly smart, and at least with something like that, if you guys break up, they can just finish the quote. Right?

Yes. Right. Better to have a quote that's not like his name or his, that person who got their person's lips tattooed on that. Oh my God. Yeah. Better to have just a quote. Kat Von D. Yeah.

Thank you. That you can just be like, I've always loved Franklin Delano Roosevelt. This has nothing to do with Liam Helmsworth. Yeah. And I'm looking at the pictures of the tattoo. Honestly, like as rich as they both are, you'd think they could have done better than this. It kind of has like prison tattoo echoes. Where on their bodies?

On their arms. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. I'm showing them to Molly right now. Yeah. They do have a bit of a prison tattoo. Like it seems like a buddy of theirs at a party had a tattoo gun.

Yeah. And that was what they did. Yeah. Yeah, I love, I've always wanted quote tattoo. Like my, both of my tattoos are pictures, but all the ideas I ever get for tattoos are quotes and words. And I've never done it because I don't know how to make words look really good. I think it can be done, but I think it's harder to make, a word tattoo is harder to make look really cool, you know. And to make sure that you don't, I mean, the amount of bright eyes quotes I would have gotten.

Right? If I had not held back, you know. So I think it's, you know, that's one of, we really want to make sure that you're going to stand behind it. Mm-hmm. Very much so. At the same time though, if I had gotten the huge Namaste tattoo down my spine that I was going to get, I would at least be able to, at the bottom, it'd be like Namaste in bed. You know, I'd definitely do one of those. I'd slap it in bed on there.

Well, there are definitely people who are no longer together that have matching tattoos. Katie Perry and Russell Brandt have matching tattoos that say, go with the flow in Sanskrit. Oh, Jesus Christ. I love Katie Perry so much and everything she does in public makes me feel embarrassed. Yeah. Yeah. But at least, is it in a place that they can cover it up? It is on the, it's the same place that, what is it, the Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus have under the forearm, like underneath their bicep. A fatty part?

On the other side of their bicep. Yeah. I guess none of these people have the fatty part of their arm, but in my arm, that would be the fatty part. Ooh. Brittany and K-Fed. Out. That's a long time ago. Yeah, they have a pair of dice showing the number seven, lucky number seven dice.

Man, her Instagram is just getting sadder and sadder. Is it getting sadder? Or maybe it's just staying the same. It's just, it's real rough. It's really rough. Also, today I stopped following Milly Bobby Brown, who plays Eleven on Stranger Things, because it's Malin Wines Day and she is fucking 13 years old, laying in bed looking at, I guess, her boyfriend with like hearts on it. And I was like, disgusting, will not follow this anymore. It already was making me upset because she's acting as if she's an adult when she's 13 years old.

And I know that society is making her do that. Toilet flush me. But it is very disgusting to see. Can you imagine at 13 years old, your parents allowing a quote unquote boyfriend to lay in a bed with you? Yeah, that's bad. I remember there was something with Willow Smith too, right? Where she was like in a bed with a... Bodyguard.

Yeah. I feel like if you're going to have a kid with an Instagram account and I follow a lot of famous kids on Instagram, you got to have your parent regulate it. And it's got to just be you having a great time getting ready for award shows. That's all anybody wants to see. And maybe having a great time like on the set with your, you know, and then posting a picture of whoever's birthday it is. Kids are great at this. They'll just post a picture with a selfie that they have whoever's birthday it is. And then they'll be like, have a great day.

And it's great. And it just brings me happiness. And that's all you need. I don't... I feel for... I feel... I've been afraid for Millie Bobby Brown for the longest time and I feel like the fears are being born. Yeah, the blind items are pretty dark when it comes to her.

No. What do they say, Marcus? I really don't want to talk about it. Oh, no! You know, children shouldn't be allowed out of the house. Unless you go to school or church if you choose that. All right, it's time for blind items! We can't see them!

Just got one today. Because the grimy blind items were not good. Really? It was just like Bruno Mars did coke. Yeah, okay. Of course he does. Donald Glover smoked weed in the bathroom. Of course he did.

It was like, yeah, okay. All right. So the one we got is the prenup. Foreign born A-list singer was forced to sign by his wife includes all kinds of clauses about his sobriety. He isn't really keeping those right now. His wife doesn't really want another divorce right now, though, when things are going great for her professionally. And by foreign born, I think it's Canadian. Canadian?

What is he? A singer. Country singer. Well, quote unquote, country singer. Country singer, another divorce. Another divorce. And she's kind of going, she's back on the upswing. Blake, whatever his damn name is, Shelton?

Not quite, but very close. They're not married. Molly, don't rush them. Same level of mediocrity. Same level of mediocrity. And the same... I've got to go back and pretty big, emanate shooter and lead a little closer. Man, he's such a trash.

I love it. The only name that's coming to my mind is Keith Urban, but he and Nicole Kidman seem way too happy together. And that's what it is. Really? It's Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban. Oh, he's getting all fucked up. She ain't digging it because it was in the prenup, according to the blind item, that he had to keep it under control. Apparently, he is not.

And she's looking for a way out, but she doesn't want to distract from all the good shit that's going on in her career right now. Dude, that's sad. I love Nicole Kidman. Man, yeah, but at the same time, don't they have enough places like just go live in another country, right? I'm sure that's what they're doing. She always kisses him on the mouth so long after she wins an award, though. How could she want a divorce? She's lying to herself.

What person does it lie to themselves, Molly? Valin Wines Day. Everyone's lying to themselves. It's great. I feel bad for her. But at the same time, maybe a midlife crisis will force him to get a decent fucking haircut. Maybe. I don't know.

I think he's sticking with that. That's his hashtag brand. Oh, yeah. And with the sweatbands around his wrist. That's a rough. It's rough. It's rough for him. He's the one that's rough.

Get out of there, Nicole Kidman. Yeah, get out of there. Well, that's it for today's Page 7. Thank you all very much for listening. Don't forget to go and rate and subscribe on iTunes. Don't forget to go to the Patreon. Is it just patreon.com slash page 7? I think so.

Well, at least just Google. Yeah, yeah. Page 7, Patreon. It'll come up. Check out our Patreon. Our new brand new Patreon has got a video where you can see our nice faces. Hell, yeah. Especially Jacky's.

And congratulations, Molly. Thank you. Congratulations. And don't forget, this goes out to Gut Neffle. Can you take me to a place where I'm melting? That's what he's talking about. He's gonna beat my head. Oh, and don't forget to listen to Riverdale Roundup this week.

Yeah. Because this week it's middermost foul, affairs, and alliances, and deception. So much to say. I have so much to say. Goodbye. Love you guys.