Last Podcast On The Left - Relaxed Fit: Marilyn Monroe & The President's Aspirin

Episode Date: March 14, 2020

On this Relaxed Fit episode, we delve into the salacious rumors and gossip that surrounded JFK's extramarital affairs.

There's no place to escape to this is the last talk on the left That's when the cannibalism started Yeah, man, I will say especially did you just stretch before you sat Every time I move now, I don't know what happened to me I will say during a fucking whatever are our little funny little mini pandemic We're in the middle of right now to go to a yoga class that I tried to go to and then you sit there Like the whole purpose of this is breathing. So everybody you're in it You're in this thing and you're just thinking about like I am slathered with hand sanitizer

I'm putting hand sanitizer on the fucking my car door for some reason, you know, I mean I'm just sure this will help me just like some kind of panic thought I'd be like this will keep me safe Just like opening things with my shirts bring an extra shirts with me to open up. I don't think I'm just I'm going insane But then I I volunteer to go to yoga. I pay to go to yoga, right and people are just going All these people with gray toenails like all the yoga men Yoga men are Disgusting is that right yoga women are all beautiful different shapes sizes all expressed themselves But something about a yoga guy as he becomes one over time as he morphs into one

Uh-huh something happens where he's just fucking his hair turns into nails Hey, what's up everyone? How you doing? Welcome to the relaxed fit last podcast on the left I am Ben with Marcus and of course yoga Henry Zabrowski I want to really release that breath today guys I have love to send you guys from Syracuse Albany and And Hartford, Connecticut. I Thank you all so much for coming out to the Hail Yourself America documentary and everyone says hello And they love you and they're excited to see us on the road whenever that happens at this point again

When it comes to the coronavirus we are in the same boat as all of you We will have the same information at the time that you get the information as of right now All of our shows are still a go, but of course we will we will play it Things are literally on a day-to-day basis. So we have no friggin clue eventually They will tell us what we're supposed to do and then we will do that. Yes, and no we will do and that's We got into the business we got into this business to not have a job But why does it feel like in this particular scenario? It's like it's like mother nature is our boss, right? And I I don't like it. No. No. Well, you know what? I say the mother nature. I give it a hellish rebuke

Yes, the D&D card that a fan gave me And the hellish rebuke Marcus you point your finger at the creature that damaged you which is you Marcus you've damaged me I have not damaged you in any way whatsoever. I've done nothing but support you for 10 years right there That's damaging because then he said that I couldn't support myself And then so I put my finger at you and then I say hellish I say hellish rebuke and then you're covered in flames No, but you can do a dexterity roll. Yeah, that's what he's not adding is that you can roll a dexterity roll to deflect We are what we're taking it seriously. We're you know, just like everybody else should yes And you know once as soon as we find out something as to what's going on with the tour

If it does end up getting cancelled for April then we're gonna be postponing it until Later on in the year just like every other, you know, band who's had to cancel a tour over the last couple of weeks But yeah, don't worry where wherever you are where you've bought tickets We will come to you eventually even if we can't come in April. Absolutely. Don't worry though carrot top has not cancelled A single show you straight up saying be like you got to make me cancel like that's that's an interesting take All right That's that's that's the performance style of carrot top You got to love and follow on Instagram and everybody out there, you know, just it just be be careful take it seriously be safe

And we hope that everybody's fine out there and I would just say this I talked about this on abling and stop at you Don't need all the sanitizer leave some for your neighbors And all your neighbors are still filthy it doesn't really matter how clean you are Have some yeah, I be a responsible American please Please think about your neighbors and everything you do over the next in the coming weeks and months Please think about your neighbors. Please think about your fellow Americans What I would think about the the next couple days. What's really nice though is that I really get to it's really just Me and whatever happened to JFK

The truth right because I've already been we've been prepping for the next two episodes of last podcast on the left I am I'm not gonna say hope. It's just to I'm pretty certain it's gonna be to yes because there's just so many hours of Tape and on different books about every single thing of all the different. I'm gonna say up to 12 Shooters they were all in daily pause at the same time Waiting to kill JFK and that's according to Ole Dama Garg who is He just says a lot of stuff and he doesn't need facts He just needs ideas, but I am fucking up to my eyebrows in it friends Yeah, I think I'm on hour three of nine

Men who killed Kennedy Down with me I'm getting into the I'm getting into the mindset man I'm getting into it any time you have nine and nine hour docu series on Who potentially killed a president? I think it's gonna get confusing I think it might get confusing at some point because it's really all about choosing what are and what is everybody's favorite story lines? Right because that's because a lot of it is I think our listeners as they listen to those episodes I think everybody's got their favorite pet theory. We have our what we believe is something closer to the truth

Or whatever has at this point. Is there such a thing as a truth? I don't even I don't even know because there's so many different takes on this topic Right, so we're gonna try to hit a lot of the some of the best hits Yeah, so that you can put people in the back me like Yeah, I'm looking back man, you know and they're like super excited but the goal is to also weave some of the really interesting stuff like How does bio warfare make its way into the JFK assassination storyline? How does multiple clones buying their way to the JFK storyline? How does the Corsican mafia find their way into the JFK storyline?

It's you know, it's it's confusing and definitely Natalie has completely sequestered herself to her like loft office While I've taken over the entire living room with like five or six books about JFK and just his head just fucking exploding again Right, right. Well, that's amazing. Your wife has quarantined herself not because of a deadly virus, but because of you Let's talk about that there because obviously when it comes to JFK, there's a lot of side periphery stories We want to talk about do we want to talk about badge man? Do we want to talk about babushka woman and Do you guys want to go down like the the line of a potential assassins? You'll you're gonna see it gets old we'll have a menu set up

Because some of these witnesses are so much fun and there's just but right now We're kind of in the world of 1980s JFK assassination conspiracy. Yeah, that's the man who killed Kennedy That's like 88. Okay. It's 88 which was supposed to be the definitive We got this but then they made three more after the original six So there's nine hours of the men who killed Kennedy which is and I went ahead and I bought the old box set I because they like you used to be able to get from the history channel like with you used to call in and it was another like Boyhood dream. I got to fulfill where I bought one of those conspiracy theory DVD sets. Yeah, and that was fun I just got my encyclopedia Britannica and I am loving it

I'm loving it remember that would encyclopedias were the hottest thing that's ever happened to this country so much information Well, that's how I learned how to masturbate Wait, what I started hearing the term masturbation and when I'd sit in the ball, right? It's boy my body wouldn't be changing. It's disgusting in different ways and just in an important way In a way a boy travels towards a man And I would stick I would stick my penis outside of the surface of the water and being like but there was enough tension I couldn't figure out what it what do I do to get this going? Yeah, because you would be having sex with the world's largest vagina

Tub there is no tension But then I look up masturbation in encyclopedia and it said forget was this term I think it was self-manipulation like so that and I didn't know what to do So I would say stuff to my penis like you don't know how to make a meal Like you know like you say weird things where I was trying to get in its head And then I was like no, no, no with the hunt you don't know how to make a meal and Then you immediately ejaculate Well, that's very good. That's actually very healthy and you have an inquisitive mind and you always did yes, absolutely

It's very important to get the demons out. I talk about this Natalie all the time You got to get them out of the way so you can think like a normal person again We've talked about that before so when it comes to JFK Should we talk about do you guys want to go down the mistresses road or what because I know there's the audience has been like First of all, thank you so much for the great response from the audience. Yeah, you guys have been so awesome And as Henry said I am excited to get to the different conspiracy theories and stuff like that because I know for a fact People have been screaming in their cars Well, we we thought we could take a little opportunity in this episode to cover some of the stuff

We don't know if we'd have time to get to in the next two episodes that it's a little bit more It's just kind of juicy almost in page seven category like oh, yeah, it's that world I'd absolutely know it's we're getting into the gossipy side Doesn't really I mean it is a conspiracy unto itself But it is not necessarily a larger part of the big conspiracy although it could fit it could plug itself into some of those Conspiracies at some point, so it's just that simple folks So any you know a president normally like think about how much tush Obama could have rubbed sure if you wanted to lead a beautiful wife. He was okay. He was

Yeah, she was making love right. She was making love to him. I imagine yes I think so getting the president's devils out of him because can't you imagine how much bigger Sperms, do you think a president gets over time where they're sitting there all blocked up? You're avoiding war right right trying to avoid war war is how a president gets his philosophical Sperms out sure right and so but how do you get the the physical ones out? Well, you know gotta go sperm or not goldfish. They don't just get bigger and bigger and bigger I'm be very scared to just leave my comment there amongst themselves Yeah, I don't want my one does not graft to the other until jet. There's just one gigantic super spark

Oh Stop to death when it comes out of your car No, we're about to get into the president's mini romantic encounters Oh, can we do the theme song to the red shoe diaries? That was a classy one That was too artsy for me to masturbate to really by the way Shannon tweed if you're out there listening or anyone No, Shannon tweed tell her I love her and thank you for the memories Shannon tweed was amazing I had her issue a playboy. Thank you. I'm gonna look up. I want to see how old she is at this point time

She's 63. She looks good 63 You're just the type of mistake she could make So one of the many personal failings that have come to light about President John F. Kennedy since his death is Just how many times and with how many women he slept with while being married to his wife Jackie? It's very bad to you should never betray your wife, but no Yeah, yeah, I feel like Jackie had a really sad marriage to JFK. Yes Yeah, I do not think she was a very happy woman. Unfortunately. No, no, not at all

But it sounds like she I mean I this is me speaking completely out of school here I have no fucking clue it did sound like she did Managed to have like her own place in the White House She made it a fashionable thing like she was the one that made the White House and their relationship Like kind of fashion icon. Yes, absolutely. Mm-hmm. Well partly JFK's pension for illicit sex has to do with something We mentioned about JFK in episode three and it's one of the more interesting dualities about JFK Because of his many health problems Kennedy lived a fatalistic balls to the wall day at a time lifestyle in his personal life

While his public policies always look to the future concerning the American public What does the term? I know what balls to the walls means, but at some point did someone have their balls on a wall? And then they're like Harry is really going nuts This is interesting first attested in the 1960s in the context of aviation coined by pilots Whose throttle levers had round ball-like tops and when they were going balls to the wall That meant they were going as fast as humanly possible. Whoa. Damn. I didn't think I was gonna learn anything today I'm actually kind of upset with myself. I'm sort of set out now. I set out to get dumber today See Kennedy didn't just have his injuries from World War two to contend with

He had a series of compression fractures in his lower back caused by a degenerative bone disease He had Addison's disease which caused his blood pressure to wildly fluctuate up and down and he suffered from chronic irritable bowel syndrome Oh, all this shit. He dealt with since he was a teenager. He was in a lot of pain and he also was a war hero He saved a bunch of people during a boat Explosion I want to say but he was famous for like even though he was in a tremendous amount of pain Constantly his whole life right saved a guy like he pulled a guy onto an island. That was like a whole it's like a it's a very weird Mythic story where they almost died him and a bunch of people from from some some disaster During the war where he pulled a bunch of people onto this weird oasis island and they sat and watched and then Kennedy's like

We got to get out there on the first man and from the harbour that Swams longer than here from oil So I'm gonna get out there and he said he would swim out there and he ended up saving all those boys So sweet young boys. Is it safe to say that John F. Kennedy and Robert Kennedy? Those were the only two good. They were they truly good Kennedy's yeah I mean he's a murderer and then everyone after that has like really just they're just weird personally like personally John F. Kennedy was not a great person Bobby Kennedy Maybe a little bit better

Professionally, they were great Kennedys like professionally. They were they were great people as far as like politicians go. Yeah, they they were pretty fucking good Yeah, why do I feel like we're gonna get like 3,000 emails? From that statement, I feel like they're oh cuz we're playing we're applying all of these things to them cuz I don't know what good And bad even means what does it even mean? Well when you compare it to presidents who came after and presidents before like they I would say I definitely put him on the top of like near the top of the last I don't know 30 years. All right. Well speaking of presidents coming. Let's get back to JFK's love life Well, his experience in World War two what that earned him was a metal plate on his spine But that metal plate never fully healed over

That meant that you could actually look into a hole an open hole on JFK's back and see the metal plate on his spine It's like iron man. Yeah, but it's got to be kind of a hot thing to do for girls Me like hey, all right. They go over to the refrigerator grab a magnet. I'm gonna show you something cold. Oh My god, the coolest thing is he's like a refrigerator Well because of all these problems JFK had to take up to 10 medications a day just a function Among others JFK took powerful steroids for his back problems as well as anti-spasmodics pain killers and muscle relaxants like Fino barbitone Is that what we want our president on? He's great. I mean, he was on all this shit And he's still I mean, I guess that's what they well with Bay of Pigs

But he definitely got us through the Cuban Missile Crisis and I guess being on a bunch of quailudes would help during the Cuban Missile Crisis Quailudes, I mean you got to be able to relax a little bit because apparently they are there a lot of fun Technically these aren't quailudes. I did look it up Okay, I was curious to see if Fino barbitone was quailudes, but quailudes as we know it a cousin to Fino barbitone These are a muscle relaxants. You can still get Fino barbitone Quailudes are gone off the market and have been for years. Is that what they gave all the kids in nightmare on Elm Street? So they wouldn't stop dreaming. Oh Man, I that's hard to stop dreaming all you got to do is fucking smoke hash before you go to sleep

And you'll never dream ever again. I am happy you're on this hash train by the way. I don't know if I am I feel really confused Now all these health problems don't necessarily Excuse JFK's behavior concerning his marital fidelity, but all that combined with admittedly a rich boy mentality I can do whatever I want certainly helps you understand why JFK lived life with reckless abandon Hmm, particularly when it comes to his baser instincts and the thing was is that given into those baser instincts caused even more health problems He had sex with so many women so often that he suffered from a semi-permanent urinary tract infection But that's still didn't stop him. I don't piss. I don't believe in pissing. I saved my piss until it becomes shit So the guy is constantly shitting right because he's got isn't that your urinal bowel? It's just you got you got to go

Yeah, it's a bit of a time and then he's got a UTI. Yeah, he's got a back that you can see through Why were people attracted to him again? He's very handsome from those shoulders up But it does sound like he does sound kind of inbred a little bit a little bit Yeah, it does it does it sounds like it sounds like he's got quite a few King's diseases. Yes, he does Yeah, but he wasn't inbred as far as I know no as far as you know as far as you know No, okay, so from here on out in this segment We're gonna be dealing almost exclusively in rumor in you window and unverified facts more suited to the blind items than to a serious study

Of president John F. Kennedy. So I'm saying that right up top is this is gonna be a lot of rumor. This is gonna be white juice My friends Go get your sponge boys and girls. It's time to get juicy. Oh, yeah, I think I brought all these sponges from the grocery store The only thing that was left All right, get ready to get dumber, I guess Now this is our first dip of the toe into the JFK conspiracy world So I want to stress that what I'm about to talk about is not verified in any way unless I Explicitly say that it has been verified. Okay, because some of these things have been verified

Can you proceed the things that are verified with dog meat says? Don't trust me trust the sources sure sure sure absolutely So apparently JFK once confided to the British Prime Minister that he got headaches if he went more than three days without sex and the President's aides reportedly referred to his many sexual partners as the president's aspirin Wow, that was those code aspirin with two s's I miss a president who drinks Well, did now was JFK a booze hound or a butt hound? I think both you got to be both if you're gonna be both. I mean he was a party boy

Was he a party like he liked to party? I mean he wasn't I wouldn't call him a booze hound I would if I were to choose out of him or a Linden Johnson Oh, Linden is a booze. Yeah, who could who consumed more whiskey? I would say Johnson. Absolutely Johnson the LPJ didn't need to fuck to feel good He the power of the presidency was almost enough for him when you JFK and you're born into power and born into money I imagine even just being president is kind of boring. Yeah, that was kind of what one of the weird outsider things They said about that was interesting about our current president is that he was so used to having staff He was already yelling at people and giving people orders from inside the White House where most people that arrive at the White House for the first time

It's the first time that they're having like a butler or a chef or like those types of high level like it's super Rich or Kutra Ma and JFK was just super used to it and by the way We've gotten a lot of reaction to the amount of knowledge that I have about Linden Johnson's dong There's very few things that have sticking to my mind like the memories of Linden Johnson's penis And it's talked about extensively in documentaries the dude that you remember that we got one email I forgot the story of him the LPJ pissing on the leg of a secret service officer And he's like mr.. President you're peeing on my leg, and he's like I know I am that's my prerogative That is why it's surprised. It's surprising that Kennedy was the one that got killed

But that's not to say that JFK was some sort of Don Juan great lover Yes, he did sleep with a lot of women, but according to starlet Angie Dickinson quote Sex with Jack Kennedy was the best 20 seconds of my life. Whoa According to her and many others JFK did not believe in Foreplay and engaged in sex almost compulsively it really was get naked, and he stuck it in for 20 seconds He was done, and then it's like okay. Let's go eat. It was aspirin. Yeah, it literally just was his medicine He just needed to get it out of his I'm thinking I'm not saying that that's right or wrong But he had to get it out of there, and then unfortunately you also you are fucking a president sure so I mean

Oh, this have a lot of time this started long before he was president Oh, he was a senator. Yeah, he was a senator don't have that much time and then before that he was a tennis player I think they're super busy. He's a World War two veteran. That was exhausting Yeah, all right, so he's a wham-bam. Thank you, ma'am. Let's go have some steak. Absolutely Now besides Angie Dickinson JFK was also rumored to have slept with socialite Mary Meyer mobster Maul Judith Campbell Alleged German spy Ellen Romect his press secretary Pamela Turner and two White House aides nicknamed fiddle and faddle For a total for it. That is disgusting by the way. That is absolutely disgusting

Also, if you're fiddle at least you're not faddle like if you're faddle you're like, oh my god. I wish I was this cool as fiddle Oh, so we're stopped he didn't call me faddle. I wish that he doesn't least call me Fiddle no he calls me fiddle because I like to play the fiddle and I love to suck I mean no one ever as far as I know really commented on the president's penis size I mean it and I usually take that to mean average If no one says like it was particularly small or particularly large because with Lyndon Johnson As we know it was particularly large and people talk about it quite a bit I mean he also didn't have sex with Eileen Warno's who apparently just gosses gosses all about penis size

It was an REO speed wagon who was the who was the REO speed it was a guitar from REO speed wagon Oh, I thought it was no it was it was yes. It was fog. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna look up how Tall JFK was hey six foot. Okay. Yeah, that's probably he's probably not but he's not like it's not kind of like You know how dangly nerd with dangly nerds a lot of time have like huge cocks Oh, yeah, really thin arms and really thin legs and are very tall sometimes you have a big dick I think if you're six foot tall and fairly compact your penis is probably pretty normal. It's probably yeah, probably Yeah, and according to author Gore Vidal, who's a bit of a gossip Oh, I think so indeed best of best of enemies is actually a very interesting documentary

Gore Vidal and who is Gore Vidal? He's a he's a philosopher. He's a man He was he was of a time where we really wanted to have intellectuals Yeah, and he would go and he would debate William Buckley who was the big who started national review and Gore Vidal was the liberal and Buckley was the conservative and they actually made it They got very famous I believe it was the 64 election actually mm-hmm where they were on live TV Fighting with each other and they are actually very fun to watch each other fight to watch but they hated each other in a very rich

Person way and although he is American. He had a British accent. Yeah Well, Gore Vidal's he's one of those people kind of like Truman Capote back in the days when we would iconoclass. Yeah iconoclass Yes, exactly. Well, he was in Gattica Gore Vidal was in Gattica. Yeah underrated. Oh, that's where I know him from I know him from the movie with honors with Joe Pesci Brennan Frazier That's how I know who Gore Vidal is because I was looking at his face I was like, why does he look so familiar? He was a teacher in that movie where Joe Pesci plays like a fairly like Exuberant and brilliant homeless man that lives on the campus of Harvard and all of these people at Harvard live with him

It's a great movie. I remember that I help the show Well, according to Gore Vidal Famous silent film actress Marlene Dietrich both had an affair with JFK's father Joe Kennedy in the 30s and Slept with President Kennedy in the White House when she was in her 60s. I don't know, I'll share a lot of things with my dad I don't particularly need to do that Well, apparently from what Gore Vidal said from what Marlene Dietrich told him Like she was invited to the White House when she was in her 60s

Apparently JFK had had a crush on her since he was a kid because she remember he remembered her being around all the time when he was growing up Uh-huh. Yeah cause he was fucking her fives Yeah, I mean sex with his dad. Yeah. Yeah, he made he made a move She's like, you know, I'm quite a bit older than you and he's like, I don't care I think you're beautiful and then so he has sex with her it's wham-bam. Thank you, man And afterwards he's like did you sleep with my father? She's like no, but he did try and Then John F Kennedy goes. I knew he was Let me smell your vagina

I smell my father's cock God, you know people always criticize that like Jerry Springer and they'll say oh my god Look at those people look at those disgusting people the wealthy elites are the most incestuous most Disgusting group of people that there is there's a whole vanity fair article like just about this like just about Marlene Dietrich and the Kennedy family And yeah, it's all very Socialite centric it's all these rich people like coming together and hanging out with each other and all the weird shit that happens Between you know, especially rich people like the 30s. I did I did hear de Caprio once say which is true And he's just like unfortunately and I can only date supermodels. I know because they're the only people that understand me

So we think when he said something like that, you're like, oh, okay That's where that's why all of these people have to fly in the old silent movie stars to make love too Because they're the only ones that can I guess keep a tight lip about it I mean though you're having sex with the whole family. Well, that's why you always want to go with the silent movie stars Not the ones that are in the talkies Now the thing to remember about the Kennedys was that their fame did not begin with JFK He was not the first famous Kennedy Joe Kennedy was a well-known figure in American politics and had been a well-known figure for decades in addition to that his his paternal grandfather was a state senator and

JFK's maternal grandfather had been both a congressman and mayor of the city of Boston for two terms So Kennedy comes from political stock So when John F Kennedy started getting into politics in the mid 40s, he caught the attention of one J. Edgar Hoover Hoover of course director of the FBI from 1935 to 1972 and he's of course one of the most notorious figures of the 20th century We should cover J. Edgar Hoover. It's at some point. I think that he is a compelling figure He changed our country. I don't know for good or for bad. I think obviously we I think when his name comes up

I mean, I am I am want to maybe make one or two Comments about him wearing female underwear panties and thongs I mean because it seems to be the only thing that I want to joke about but I know that there are so many other layers of things That are horrible about J. Edgar Hoover. Oh, yeah are not just him wearing panties. Isn't that horrible? That's the nicest thing about him exactly Isn't that strange that like back in the day that was like the thing that he had to keep quiet Yeah, now everyone's like that is the only thing that makes you relatable. Yeah, you turn the FBI You tried to like create an SS. Yes, or America with the FBI

And now the only thing we can all everybody's so appalled by the fact that you had Like mesh on where your ball hairs could come through where I think it's nice to see those little spiders Sure, what what name do you think sends more of a huh Richard Nixon J. Edgar Hoover? Oh, Nixon Nixon. Yeah Yeah, I'm gonna go I'm gonna go Nick cuz I think Hoover actually had more power Although I think no Nick said Nixon extended the war in Vietnam for on purpose for years and technically committed treason But did not Hoover wanted the war. Well, I guess he was out of the office. No, he was there He died and near the end of the war. He died in 1972 Yeah, so he but he was FBI director until the day he fucking died

He was 77 years old when he died and he was still FBI director Wow, the thing is about J Edgar Hoover is that he would use the FBI to hoard compromising information About public figures and he just keep it in his back pocket for whenever he needed favors Or if those people decided to fuck with them and as soon as JFK was on Hoover's radar Hoover started a file on JFK's mini sexual conquests JFK knew that Hoover had information on most of his affairs because Hoover told him he had the information Information because what good is that information if the other people don't know you have it? Absolutely. Oh Yeah, yeah, you know that you know that I'm having sex with a bunch of women which makes me like a super cool

Dude, you think that's gonna hurt my presidential candidate. Oh, no, it's fun. I So masking it Yeah, I wish I had breast I do I wish I hit it. I mean I could go get him if I want to I'm hitting the FBI, but I don't Have to hold myself back, you know, mr. Hoover if you want to wear a woman's dress you can you don't have You don't have to be a shit I know you're a real person down there, I know you have to have a soul No

Well JFK fucking hated J. Edgar Hoover because of course constantly had something to hang over his head And he also didn't agree with the way Hoover conducted the FBI and it's said that JFK tried to get rid of J. Edgar Hoover in 1962 but Hoover brought up Kennedy's alleged affair with Judith Campbell who was also attached to mobster Sam Giancana and Kennedy backed off. Is that Sammy the bull? I think that's Sammy the bull Is that no, no, that's not Sammy the bull Sammy the bull was I believe in the 80s. I know nothing about mobsters I don't know much about mobsters either. Although I am wearing full velour suits now So I will learn instinctively just one of you are also you I don't want to blow up the spot

But you drink at a mob bar. Yeah, you know that right, you know, oh, I know that what's funny is I was about to say It's like man one of these days like we're not gonna know where you are And we're gonna find you on Graham Avenue. And then yeah, I just realized you do drink on Graham Avenue Which is a gram between Metropolitan and Nicar is like Kuklinski Seriously, the Iceman killed someone two blocks away from him. What are my favorite sports? Yes, SuperCo. SuperCo happened on that street. It happened where the blue stove is. Yeah Now where I used to work where I used to wash dishes. That is that is why I love Brooklyn because of the history

Mm-hmm Now concerning the affair with Judith Campbell, it is actually documented through phone records Although former Kennedy staffers and supporters all strongly deny that there was ever a relationship between the two of them Mm-hmm, even so in her memoir entitled my story Campbell said God it's not called my struggle Well, she said that she was introduced to John F. Kennedy through Frank Sinatra and Las Vegas in 1960 back when John back when Kennedy was still running for president Wow, that's fun, man Yeah, to be a fly on the wall there just yeah

Hear that I'll get out of here. Where's my salad? I ordered a salad from room service 45 minutes ago Well, Kennedy and Sinatra like knew each other. They were friends. They hung out and shared lovers as well Well, that's the thing they are these that's you know These are not like pansexuals like David Bowie or Mick Jagger or even now like a Timothy Shamaling a ding-dong or one of these like young actors that could probably fuck for hours on end these like threesomes with Frank Sinatra and JFK lasted two minutes of them Just clinking scotch glasses while you blow them through their tuxedo pants and then they sit there

But the whole time they're like we got a blow-up glue Cuba Frank The most intense cladestine weird like Oss style conversations with like it's got to be at least that's got to be interesting So you're like blowing Frank Sinatra going like hmm But what happens is you start to absorb secrets that might just put you in danger I feel like a victim of MK ultra thinking of Frank Sinatra and JFK. That's something that people would be like Oh, you're insane I was blowing Frank Sinatra when he was talking to Kennedy about blowing up Cuba. They're like, yeah, you're an idiot

Well, I mean there's quite a few of these women were sexually free as well like Marlene Dietrich when she later talked about all this She's like I had many sexual partners and they're like why she's like they asked Like oh Marlene all right Well this woman claimed that they started their affair in Las Vegas and continued it for two more years While Kennedy was in the White House, but this was woman also made plenty of outlandish claims She said that Kennedy once was she was that she said she was there She said that Kennedy once went out hired a whole shitload of sex workers brought him back to the White House And they had a party at the White House pool. He's like post Malone

But I do feel bad for Jackie at some point She really is just watching all of this happen while she just gets to pick out swatches Well, I think Jackie also had lovers. She must have had some side pieces I think Jackie had an affair with one of the Secret Service agents. Yeah, that's a that's definitely a hunk But yeah, I think I think they were both Dabbling and I think they had an understanding. Well, my question is the onassis family was very famous as well, right? Yes So this was just this was a marriage for political convenience, right? That's why they call it Camelot

Well, I would I've heard though is that she had real affection for JFK and two of them actually did have fun With each other and it's like specifically JFK and the inspeakable that book kind of spells out that their time during Texas was actually a Kind of a peak for their relationship They had kind of they were opening up more to each other and it was a thing But I think they had genuine affection for each other I think that they also knew that they both served a purpose to each other JFK with Jackie Younassus created a picture of the country that then Unfortunately when that bubble was popped right to kind of the the kind of

Deesport whatever the the fallout of that which is kind of a just a massive bummer and went from things being super fun and cool To we just killed the cool president now all we get is screaming LBJ And you know what? I don't want to man. Sometimes we're just too good at this And I want to warn the audience for what I'm about to say because it is really really funny Jackie Younassus he definitely showed her what was on his mind in Texas. You're a fucking asshole Jesus it's a pun You All right, I'm problematic are speaking about the president of the United States of America

You know what I'm gonna say I'm against what happened to John F. Kennedy Brave, thank you They said I couldn't do it But without a doubt JFK's most famous sexual partner and his most well-known affair was with film actress Marilyn Monroe Norma Jean and she she was She was hot Really making some bold choices today real brave Marilyn Monroe was hot

But she was like five foot two as well, but I like you know, whoo Well Marilyn Monroe, what was it about her because if you it's funny because she was funny She was she was the total character and she was brilliant. She was very very smart You must remember this has a really good series on Marilyn Monroe. I like that show mm-hmm Yeah, Marilyn. She was funny. She was beautiful. You know, she was in you know, everyone loved her when she was in movies But she's now known as one of the most tragic pop culture figures of the 20th century and back then she was the one of the One of if not the biggest movie star in the world and her life was indeed tragic But her tragedy only deepens when you consider her relationship with John F. Kennedy

While JFK thought of her as nothing more than a sexual conquest Monroe at one point considered John F. Kennedy The love of her life. Oh, no Reportedly she fantasized about a storybook ending with JFK where the president would divorce Jackie Kennedy Kick her and their children out of the White House Mary Marilyn and move her in all while remaining president Wow It was not a realistic. It was not a realistic fantasy but she was notorious for that type of magical thinking almost where she was a very sensitive and

loving I'm not gonna say naive but she was kind of almost childlike and she kind of thought that and this is where we talk about how power can Conherently manipulate JFK is the president you are have become you've now are on this kind of magical ride where you are a Chosen person by American society to be a movie star like and this was different This is when you are a movie star in the 1960s Every human being knew your name. Yeah, like you there So many people knew who the hell you were because there were so little avenues of entertainment You can't have the little niche groups like we have exactly was out there

And she was she was already an icon and just the the build of it because you could see but I And then we're gonna live together, and then I'm gonna get a giraffe, and I'm gonna name it Thomas And then then I'm gonna send missiles to Cuba myself Wipe them out one by one and we'll go into Vietnam And we're gonna wipe out each one of those villages and spray poison on all of those families. Well, Marilyn Your Marilyn Monroe sounds just like your Michael Jackson it does It's very similar It's very similar. I didn't realize Marilyn was such a war hawk, but I guess it makes sense

The JFK eventually saw the dangers that a fantasy like this could pose especially considering how famous and Famously unstable Marilyn Monroe was because by the time you got to the late by the time you got to the early 60s Marilyn Monroe was starting to have some very public breakdowns Mm-hmm, then she was because she was with Joe DiMaggio And that didn't work out Joe DiMaggio fell in love with her desperately But it didn't work out and then she was with a very famous playwright Arthur Miller who was so but that was more Intellectual and strength because that was her trying to appeal to I'm smart I'm smart too and so she wanted to be with this guy

But then it was very cold and so but all of these massive flame outs We're happening and the president's like, ah, well, all right. Yeah, you're gonna need to get out of here Yeah, I am very surprised Arthur Miller was able to do that. He wrote the crucible, right crucible. Yeah crucible Crucible Guys he pursued paper and a tipper and I just feel like he's not really worthy of Marilyn Monroe That's all I'm gonna say What are you talking about? Are he was a genius an absolute genius? The crucible is a brilliant piece of art. It's fine. I'm just saying he's not a hunk

We have to have things that equalize everybody's standings in this life Arthur Miller had his brain His brain was equivalent to Marilyn Monroe's status. You have to equal it out. How else how do how do ugly men like us Have sex you have to have something else. Yeah, that's true. Okay. All right. I'll give it to him Well, the story goes that Kennedy sent his brother Bobby who was also attorney general at the time To Monroe's place to break it off But instead the rumor goes that she ended up having an affair with Bobby as well Whoa, that must have been an awkward conversation when he comes back and he's like well I got good news and bad news. The good news is it is off. The bad news is I'm having sex with her now

And this is the point where we really get into the conspiracy in 1962 Monroe famously saying Happy birthday, mr. President. And have you seen it? Oh, dude, this on-camera performance is so dripping with Sexual tension awkward. We still talk about it today. I would imagine that our listeners more of you seen More of you have seen the happy birthday mr. President video that have seen an actual Marilyn Monroe movie Yeah, I'm sure that that's the case. I'm surprised Jackie didn't shoot her in the freaking head Well, by that point she was not going to Many public events with JFK like they used to have their separate events and their together events because this was a birthday celebration for JFK

He went alone the smile on his face. He looks like When I discovered weed He looks like an 18 year old me Oh, like he was so excited to see it. And she's just smashing those boobies together. She's like Happy birthday, mr. Poisy, dear Two full sexy baby And it is wild that they let that happen. Like just being like I fucked that Yeah, I was in there and they're all like good work jack. Good work. I mean, it's such a cultural

I mean, there was a fucking Wayne's world joke, you know, a happy birthday, mr. President It is a it is a cultural cut touchstone of 20th century history. Absolutely Well following that it was rumored that they discovered the government discovered JFK whoever you want to say the secret service They discovered that Mary Marilyn Monroe was keeping a detailed diary outlining every experience She ever had with both the president and Bobby Kennedy Which meant that Monroe had the power to blow up the entire dynasty Which is so sad. She really was just trying to remember and she was just chock full of pills Interesting. Did she really have a diary? I don't know this but this is all the speculation

This is a lot of speculation. This is all this is not dog meat says. Yeah, this is no This is not dog meat says now feeling it's not gonna end well for Marilyn Of course Marilyn Monroe on august 4th 1962 was found dead Now officially her death was ruled as a probable suicide due to an overdose of pills And considering her myriad mental health issues that were only getting worse leading up to 1962 This is a reasonable conclusion But according to conspiracy theorist Monroe was murdered by the Kennedys to keep her from going public with her affair I mean if you think about this as far as conspiracy goes, let's start with sandy hook was fake to this one

This is not that implausible. No, I don't think she had enough Information these people are very freaking serious. Yeah, if from what I am been reading about the CIA in the 1960s Uh, they were very very powerful and they were kind of out of control They had a lot of shit going on. They they were completely outside of the office of the president Anything really could have happened. They had manuals on how to kill people in ways that they were undiscoverable That was kind of their whole thing. Well, this is not a CIA conspiracy though. This is a secret service service But there's also secret service bullshit that we are going to cover very heavily in our jfk conspiracy episodes Because again, it was like private police for the president

And so they they have a what they believe a bottom line Which is that we have to protect the presidency and this is more games of throny than it is now Now more more people are willing to politically throw somebody under the bus Then I kind of almost feel like they took their jobs of protecting the president almost a little too literally Well, I mean it begs the question is like at what point does Threats both foreign and domestic become threats to power Interesting point. Okay. Yeah, and it could be that the secret service

Decided to do this on their own It could be that they did it under the orders of the president or it could be that Berleman wrote just killed herself. All right I wish they could do the thing We'd like just send it as send a secret service guy over there just to break up with her Maybe that's what happened But then the secret service guy starts sleeping with her and the whole thing just starts all over again I got goodness and bad news. The good news is the relationship is over. The bad news is she is dead

She is dead. She is dead. Now from what conspiracy theorists say the level of barbiturates found in marylemon roe's blood Was equal to 40 pills. That's what the autopsies said But there was no residue of the capsules in her stomach If this is true, that means that the barbiturates would have had to be delivered in another way But an injection would have left a mark So the evidence put forth by theorists suggests something far worse Rectal. Yes. Rectal. Is that serious? Yes. That is absolutely serious Marylin marylemon roe's body was found naked and a pathologist determined that her lower intestine was bruised very bruised

Which means that the fatal dose of barbiturates could have been delivered by either a suppository or an enema They butt-doster. They might have How do you that's a possibility? It is a possibility How do you accidentally or make it seem like an accident to butt-dose someone? Well, that's the thing. You have to be like, no, there are mole controls over there. It's over there on the floor Like you throw their mole control off the room and go, I get it And she's not wearing anything underneath her robe and then you pretend to sneeze as she bends over and then you throw the pills at her ass hole No, I would imagine if if we're going with this scenario, I would imagine

Four secret service agents showed up very large men. It's held her down stripped her naked and And delivered the uh delivered the fatal enema or it's a suppository one of the two, but that's that's one of the one of the theories There's another because you need to make it look like a suicide You have to make it look like a suicide And this makes it look like and if you don't look too closely then it does look like a suicide There's also another theory uh that she was given this uh this enema But what actually killed her was a um a shot of air to her heart Which caused a brain embolism and that is what actually killed her

There's a couple of different theories and furthermore the coroner was reportedly pressured by his superiors Quite hard to sign off on the death as a suicide because he was saying like there's some weird shit here And then the superiors came down and said like you need to sign this off right now We need to get this done and within 12 hours of that death all her telephone records Vanished oh my god, which could have only been done by the fbi or more likely The secret service It's very because it is shady as fuck right which is what we talk about quite often as we

Deep as you peer deeper into the jfk storyline So how many of these kind of like wiggity things happen again and again and again Like why though besides just maybe just general interest right maybe she did commit her There's there's one storyline here where she did commit suicide and then Retroactively they realized how much information she had and then they scrubbed her They went through everything as much as possible and tried to do it after the fact she committed suicide because now she's dead And now they can get away with it Yeah, they killed her. I mean it could very well be that you know, there's a lot of phone

Yeah, they're very well could be the Marilyn Monroe called up the white house called up the the line that she has to jack Kennedy or to Bobby Kennedy and threaten to kill herself and said like if you don't Leave your wife. I'm gonna kill myself And then she actually killed herself and people look into those phone records. They say oh look she called The why was she calling the president? Why was she calling Bobby Kennedy right before she killed herself? That introduces a lot of fucking awkward questions that they don't necessarily want to answer So it could be that they scrubbed the lines because of that and there was no there wasn't again

It's not a conspiracy to murder. It's a conspiracy to cover up that could be it as well So we do know for a fact that her death probably benefited the Kennedy's her death. Absolutely benefited So yeah, yeah, she was a rogue agent out there with a lot of sensitive information Right that came from the fact that a man will say Anything the moment before he comes Up until he's coming when he is up to the point where he's fully like you can get him to convince I think it's more effective than torture if you can get him to shoot right after it then you go like Oh, now you're gonna have to die Marilyn. Unfortunately. You should have let me come first

He only he so he like screams Fidel Castro's name and then comes a bunch. I don't know We put in a fake butler in the Castro house Oh, what was that? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know exactly This is another thing. It's just like so many other things and the Kennedy assassination Well, absolutely never know the truth and that's the funny thing is that had it not been for Kennedy being murdered This might have been like the big conspiracy Involving John F. Kennedy like when you look back on John F. Kennedy like when people say like, oh, John F. Kennedy

He said he was such a great president was like, well, did you know that he probably killed Marilyn Monroe? I also now it's and now it is just it's one this is the One of the lowest of the JFK side quests when it comes to the conspiracy I guess I'm having a bit of a hard time understating. I know that we were in a much more Traditional time when it comes to marriage when it comes to mo there was a lot more monogamy Um, I just don't know if this would have sunk his presidency I mean, all of a sudden we find out the president had sex with the biggest actress in I don't know at that time. It would have been guaranteed to sink his presidency

I think so because it was really about wasn't it an open secret though? People know before now. This is they used to be able to contain information before the internet. I really do believe that I think that no one truly knew I think that there was rumors. I think when she came out and basically did the The Like squishing her fluids onto a stage Singing for his birthday. I think that might have made a bunch of people go. Huh, huh? That seemed really flirtatious Like I think that that might have been a thing and quite of that

Honestly, probably does help some of the buzz of the president saying like Marilyn Monroe is openly fluttering with the president And that's kind of cool. Just cut cut to the old men mopets being like they're fucking They're definitely are. That's one of the things that I um Was wondering as far as like conspiracy goes like conspiracy to kill John F. Kennedy goes Like if they truly wanted JFK out of the oval office if they truly wanted him to stop fucking with them Why didn't they just release the information about his many affairs? They had proof They had proof like it would have sunk. It would have been guaranteed to sink a second term for John F. Kennedy Why wouldn't they just do that? That's so much cleaner. It's so much simpler than

Then murdering him hiring Corsican mafia members to murder him or anti-castro Rebels to murder him like why wouldn't they just release His I don't know say like hey the president fucked 20 women last year Including one of the biggest movie stars in the world Like why wouldn't they just do that if you believe some of the more passionate conspiracy theories it it was done on purpose to show We can kill a president in front of hundreds of eyewitnesses In public in a convertible and no one can stop us

That is the that is the most nefarious if we want to take the levels of like that is the Level-red version of the CIA wanted to show everybody how big their fucking cocket balls was right, but I don't think I think it's very insane but who knows that the because What we'll get into if you the book jfk and the unspeakable really paints it that the cia was immensely I'm gonna say almost they weren't angry. They were disappointed with the fact that they were slowly but surely getting kicked out of the white house And they weren't being listened to for their all of their various suggestions

None of their shit was being listened to and they maybe wanted to make a really nasty point Yeah, but who knows who knows yeah, it also seems like Hoover could have just released this stuff at any time Maybe they were planning on it and then Oswald got in the way and they were like, well, it's kind of I guess I don't know I mean but Hoover liked having it because that meant the Hoover holding on to it meant that he could stay in power. Oh my god, buddy You know what it's all about. Henry. You know what it's all about battlefield earth leverage

Leverage battlefield earth It's all leverage the entire movie is John Travolta talking about leverage It's such a it is not a good film. Oh, it is one of the worst movies of all time Oh, no, and if you want to hear more about battlefield earth listen to this week's movie sign They did it. They did it. They did an episode on it. Yeah, and Trace is in the studio and everything. It's a great episode That's great. I want to tell you a tiny little bit. This is a quick little sidebar of a Just to show an example of just some of the craziness that happens inside of the JFK Conspiracy JFK assassination conspiracy. Okay. One is there's a famous character within this

Well, we will hit a bunch of these as we go through our conspiracy series But one of these guys one of the famous kind of I want to say entities of the JFK assassination was a character called umbrella man umbrella man was a man that was seen very publicly From one angle from the Sopruder film and another angle from a very famous picture I believe by Mary Moreland more more man Mormon. It's the the Mormon picture. That's also where badge man comes in and all that Badge man all kind of shit and there's a picture of a man on a because on november 22nd

1963 it was a beautiful day Temperate it had stopped raining the sun was shining There's a picture of a man standing right by JFK as he is getting shot with an open black umbrella For no reason and it became a series and a focus of contention for many many people for many years And it's one of those showings that show we don't we don't know a heck of a lot. There's a lot of Omniscient that comes out of the JFK assassination that you start to think like oh, there's no way There's a normal explanation for whatever this is There's no way this has to be something that involving the conspiracy

But then you find out sometimes some of these things just have an explanation from left field that totally makes sense And you're left wondering. Oh, shit. What the hell is this? Well, is it possible? He had very sensitive skin like that one character for I was watching Logan and the character that can't go out in the sun He burns and burns and burns. Yeah, maybe he had something like that. He was just trying to block block the sun Nope, it was uh stupider than that. It was. Yeah, you'll see it's very interesting Because umbrella man had a large function in all of her stones filmed JFK and the idea was that the umbrella man What he was doing in the conspiracy world was either

Signaling when JFK was at the proper point to be shot where he opened up his umbrella And then the shots from the 12 different assassins There were all in deely plaza could all ring out at once, right? Or it itself was a weapon the CIA had a during the house of the panel of the investigation of assassinations I forget that what they did in the 70s the redo of the Warren commission. Yeah house panel one of those things they showed was a A possible idea of a weapon that could come from an umbrella like the fucking penguin that you'd open up an umbrella And it would shoot a paralyzing dart into JFK that that's what they said

One of his throat wounds was was a dart that went into his chest that made him do what we now know Thanks to our listeners. Um, what's called the Decorterit posture? Ah, he got shot into that skull. It's called the Decorterit posture and then we went up in that weird little hands under his chin Arms straight out. I thought he was getting paralyzed by a dart from this umbrella Turns out All that's horseshit. Okay. What happened? Well the umbrella dart that was also a big Bill Cooper thing as well the shelf the shelf it they say it was like a shellfish toxin that was shot into the president To paralyze him. Is it wrong that I wanted it to be true?

Because it sounds really fun. We all do but there's a lot of stuff that Turns out is did you see that thing I sent you last night? I haven't watched it yet When you do that you'll learn there's a lot of other shit that then comes up that is Also nefarious as fuck, but this is very interesting So during the united states house select committee on assassinations They want to be like, where is this umbrella man? Bring him to us. We want to see the umbrella man We will we will not believe anything until we meet this man. And then finally a man named louis steven witt He came forward in 1978 saying I am umbrella man

Okay, he there is a really interesting mini doc on the new york times website from aril morris called the umbrella man That also is a good little explanation. His name was louis steven witt He uh, he claimed he had this umbrella right and he brought it into the commission and they opened it and they looked at it To make sure it wasn't a weapon and he said he brought the umbrella to heckle kennedy himself For his father joseph who was a supporter of the nazi appeasing british prime minister neville chamberlain This is because so it's it's nerd shit. Yeah, he said by waving a black umbrella He was showing was because that was supposed to be neville chamberlain's trademark fashion accessory He used to bring a black umbrella everywhere that he would remind jfk in a protest of his father

Appearing alongside someone who would dare appease anything close to Anything close to an agreement with the nazis. I'm gonna say this to louis. He overthought it When you see the president you should be like, fuck you Fuck you, buddy Well, I mean joke kennedy he was one of those guys that uh He thought that world war two was a european affair. He wanted to keep america out of it He wanted to keep he was but he did like to he wanted to appease it learned just like if we just get him this He wanted no war at any cost. Well, if you think about the economics of it, um, you know, that's probably not a bad idea

But it's just very interesting to see one of those it says left field explanation for something It was highly mysterious. Interesting. When you watch the thing I send you dog meat You're gonna see it is literally it is wild. It made me go It's just another one of those I am starting to think I'm getting closer and closer to thinking that there was maybe another shooter But I don't know how wild is it as wild as like the the badge man photo where they tried no that is dumb badge man is dumb We will get into badge man. The badge man is really really stupid

It is not real that is it is not in that picture. Are we getting to your back? Can we get into that today or are we doing that in our conspiracy episodes? Let's just say badge man is a an example of periodilia Um, you know where you would you call me? I think it's called periodilia where it's seeing, uh, human characteristics and blobs In pictures and in various other things where they they saw there's someone took a picture Uh and through that picture people have been able to Uh see a possible second shooter wearing a badge, you know

So I would say like okay This is a guy that you know was part of the assassination squad and he dressed as a police officer in order to blend in that day Okay Legitimately it is so it is it's interesting to see how it is a real life version of you doing the dogman segment Last live show when you just put lines over a smudge and like there he is right there You see the clear outline of a police officer behind the fence and like you just made an outline Yeah, you just it is not outlining anything because then they just added more outlines as you get through the men The men who shot kennedy they're just like and actually there was another man over here and actually there was a toucan

Standing right there, which we actually do believe was a trained cia toucan that was selling cereal very interestingly Bizarre fruit loopy indeed and by the way our special will be coming out very soon very last year's live show We filmed it in a wonderful new orlets and that will be out for you to buy very very soon Yeah, and the more they got started talking to witnesses That were on the grass, you know, they were in daily plaza the more they started talking to those witnesses The more they were able to shape the smudges Into the sorts of things that they needed them to be In order to put forth their fear their theory

I mean we learned this from the tv show lost smoke can be a monster It can be very dangerous very very dangerous. You know what it is ask anybody with lung cancer kissle. I agree. I agree with that Yeah, think about that think about what you said. I'm thinking about it and be responsible for it I am responsible for it. Mm-hmm. I'm giving it. I've given up the vape Why wow it saved your life my vape. Yeah, but that's your smoking two packs a day Now I need to give up the vape to save my life Now you know you got to get off the losages. You are seriously Hey, man quitting sometimes quitting smoking does take seven years. Yeah, I'm quit smoking. I'm on the cigars now

I'm moving to pipes then you're moving to pipes. Yeah, but don't worry Yeah, everyone if you're if you're looking to quit out there sometimes it takes a long time But never give up. I haven't had a cigarette proper in years Hell, yeah, buddy. That means a lot. Yeah, then you get all that asbestos out of your system Yeah, you know, it's a good uh, we watch right now if you are doing the stay at home thing, which you should Uh Fucking amazing stories. Not the new one in apple tv the old one Mm-hmm. Amazing stories is good. Also another thing that's fucking amazing right now dark

Dark dark came technically I think came out two years ago. We are just discovering it. We're just discovering it But dark is the shit. It's fucking amazing. It's like Uh twin peaks mist mixed with lost mixed with stranger things a little bit But not anywhere it like takes all the cute out of stranger things and you think it's starting off like oh There's just stranger things them and then it totally turns into something else. It's fucking fantastic I love it. If you were looking for recommendations of what to watch from three uncles You got it Also, if you run out of toilet paper and they're not selling it in the store

You could just wash your ass in the shower. Yeah, yeah If you have a detachable showerhead said that's what I was telling my so I was telling carolina that couple of days ago Is it like yeah, we're on a toilet paper. We got a detachable showerhead. We've got a bidet already set up Well, you're gonna lose your wife to that fucking detachable shower and she starts coming massive buckets When you're a woman you could swish from your butt to your pussy back and forth exactly Is that disgusting? That's what they do. What do you mean? That's what they do they go into the shower They I have seen it. They go to the shower. They run the water. Yeah, it's great temperate Yeah, of course. Oh, yeah, this is a great time to be alive

Absolutely If you want to now that you mentioned the going to shower to wash the tushy The mystery pooper episode of roundtable of gentlemen if you haven't listened to that go and listen to that because it's one Of the funniest trials of all time I think that might be what happened. Yeah, I think someone was washing their butt in the shower This is a little inside baseball for those folks that don't know roundtable. You are still trying to take Fucking control of this narrative. I didn't do it. You're still trying to do this. I didn't do it Yeah, for those of you who don't know this story many years ago

Someone shit and kissles tub We don't know I was not there. I did not do it. There was two people who took the shower Holden's wife stepped in it. Yeah, and yes, and Holden's wife lexie accidentally stepped in it And we still to this day have no definitive answer as to who took a fucking shit and kissles top It is truly the biggest conspiracy we've ever covered I I wonder it's almost as bad as mattress gate. This is what six years ago seven years ago And we're still litigating it to this day. Oh, yeah, that's a it's a very fun thing The reverberations of what happens when you have gap and actual data, right?

That's when the actual conspiracy theory start fucking sliding in from the sides Because if we don't have a culprit because one of you flushed the evidence down the drain Someone got rid of the evidence if someone had held on to the shit We could have taken it into a heat doctor and find out who shit it was You know, I actually didn't ever what was the crime scene protocol She literally used her toe and took all that evidence and pushed it down the tree I mean, I don't think I think it's better. She didn't collect it and put it in a petri dish This is the equivalent of the secret service stealing JFK's brain. That's exactly what it's like

All right, do we have any more information or are we good? We're good for this week. Thank you very much for listening to the relax Fit everyone. Yes. Thank you all so much for listening to the relax fit some sides Some some side information for the JFK assassination and these next two episodes They are going to be thick very info and uh, yeah, I think they're gonna be super exciting and it's always crack we search boys Crack research. I'm just gonna keep keep it flowing, man I'm gonna be I can't wait to not have anything constructive to talk about with my therapist Besides what I know about JFK and his assassination. That's great and your therapist said you're doing really well Oh, yep. She said I'm healed actually. I graduated. Oh

Yep, I'm healed. You were healed, huh? Yep. She said I I'm I'm best now now. I'm actually I do therapy for her Which is it's great. No, so I passed. Yeah Well, congratulations Grant. Yep, completely completely not insane I actually have a stamp that says it like from that simpsons episode Yeah, all right everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening again We will keep you abreast of any new information that we hear when it comes to our april book tour As of right now everything is still a go and we will hope for the best but prepare for the worst and take care of yourselves out there Wash your goddamn hands wash your hands wash your wash your tush if you're sick stay home. Yes. Stay home for now

I know that it's difficult, but it's I what's gonna let's do this two weeks. Let's see what happens in two weeks Yes, absolutely, especially if you have a immune issues, please take care of yourself. Just just be cautious That's that's all you don't gotta you don't gotta have your hair on fire. Just be safe And as always be kind to your fellow Americans and wherever you are in the world anybody You know our listeners in england. I know things are getting a little weird there people out in italy I know things are getting real fucking weird. Oh my goodness. I know things are Not looking great for a lot of people. So just you know, just be kind to your your fellow human beings and Be careful take it seriously, but don't panic. Absolutely. All right, everyone

Hale yourselves. Hale Satan. Hogueen. Magustalations everyone Help me Help me I'm gonna go to the booze store. You're gonna go to the booze store. Oh man. I went to the fucking I went to the wine store last night to pick up a couple of bottles Man the people in my brooklyn neighborhood You could just hear them say like if I'm going to be quarantined I'm not gonna go through it without a couple of bottles of cabernet

No, I need something to cut the panic. The struggle is real That place was packed yet again marcus. That is the irony of everyone freaking out going to the supermarket and to the liquor store That is where people are Oh my god Well, and also if you have some elderly elderly neighbors the nice thing to do would be go get some groceries for them That would be very so be so I'll be really nice So think about think about the ways that you can instead of thinking about the ways you can take care of yourself Think about the ways you can be kind to each other and if we all do that then we'll get through this together

That's right. If you're like me you go and you give them much nice groceries, but you put one prank grocery in Yeah Got to like that stinky fruit. Yeah This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network dot com