Last Podcast On The Left - Relaxed Fit: The 3rd Decennial Last Podcast On the Left March Madness of Murder

Episode Date: March 8, 2024

The time has come once more! Monsters both real and imagined are pitted against each other in this grand tourney of twisted souls. Blood will be shed and only one will survive!

On Wizard and the Bruiser, we find all those crazy little moments in geek history that make the things we love into inescapable cultural behemoths. If you love video games, movies, comics and anime, this is the LPN show for you. But wait Holden, it's not just educational. Shouldn't we talk about all those crazy boner jokes we make all the time? No Jake! No we will not! Fair enough!

Last podcast network presents Wizard and the Bruiser. Find it on your favorite podcast app and hit that little Subby Dubby button. Ooh, we would love it if you did that. Oh, that would help us out so much. God, wouldn't you love to do that? Don't I sound like the kind of person you want to help? Like, hit the button. Like, just do it.

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left that's when the cannibalism started what was that hello ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the Mayhem arena. Today it's a beautiful sunny afternoon in Los Angeles, California and we are here with the Titans of debauchery. The evil ones themselves, it's fictional and non fictional

villains versus each other in a March Madness style bracket like competition can you even handle the excitement Marcus I go big bit today I can really handle any more excitement I think if I had any more excitement in my bladder I don't know if I would be able to hold it without wetting myself on live television. And I gotta say thank you Pampers Adults. This has been an entire broadcast. Thank you. Thank you Pampers Adults. Dipsy Doo Pooparoo. Folks, that's right. I'm pooping in my pants right now. I got my depends and I am ready to shit.

You know what I say? If I'm gonna shit in my pants, people ask me when I say my depends and I am ready to shit. You know what I say if I'm gonna shit in my pants people ask me when I say It depends let's get into the March madness Last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen. That's what you're listening to my name is Marcus Parks with Henry Zabrowski Hi on top of it doing his best to pretend like he knows what sports are hey, and I'm cock vital Like boy less good pretend like he knows what sports are. And I'm cock vital. Yeah. Oh yeah. That's a good boy, Leska name. Yeah. That's a great name.

I know sport. Yeah. You know football. You've learned football this year. I got into football. I like watching the basketball and I like some hockey. But we're keeping up a tradition here, the last podcast on the left, we thought it was a really appropriate as a little stopping place between two large series to give you honestly,

we're giving this to you because you asked for it. Yeah. You're always asking for it. This is the third annual decentennial last podcast on the left, March madness of murder. Now we're going to have, we have a series of guys, some fictional, some not. We're going to pit them against each other to see who wins. This is a 16 seed bracket. We're going to be starting off with imaginary versus real in each bracket. And then of course whoever wins moves on to the next and we are going

to pick the bracket here live on air. All right. Eddie, how are you feeling today? I feel hot. I feel sticky and I'm ready to get it. All right. Our first imaginary villain is the tall man from phantasm. All right. Now I believe tall man. He might, we might have brought him back, but I'm happy to have him because I love the tall man. I love the phantasm series. I think it is under sung and over rocked. Yeah. And he does.

Don't forget about that crazy little ball. The crazy balls a part of it. And also he's got incredible strength. Absolutely. And he had what about the little people that he keeps under his coat? His crew. Yeah. It's a boy. Oh, we're definitely including crew in this. Oh, very much good. Good. And he's going to be going up against let's see here

which real character Andrew Kunanan That could be a shape shift to shape-shifters. Yeah All right, so it's gonna be tall man and Kunanan in the first round next Next one up is the puppets from puppet master. Okay. Now we have for those of you that are unaware, we have the, you got the drill man, got Driller. Yeah. What we have is we have blade, jester, pinhead, tunneler, leech woman, shredder, con. We got Genji and of course my favorite six shooter. I love. I actually forgot about leech woman. Leech woman is good too.

Yeah. Leech woman standing at one foot seven inches tall and weighing a full two pound. We are ready to go. I'm interested to see what shredder Khan does. See here. Next up, we have Anton Segur. Okay. No country from old, from no country for old men. Great villain. He's got the thing. Remember he's got the cattle thing that blows people's brains

out executioner. The yeah. And he flips coin depending on whether or not he's going to show mercy or not. It makes a decision a little similar to two face. Yes. And I will say, I will say, I know we're not getting into the battle now, but that cow cattle prod is going to be hard to use against seven crazy little dolls. I agree. I agree. And don't forget the dolls also Nazis. And that gives them, so they're messed up. They might even align.

They're fueled by hate. Yeah. All right. The next matchup is going to be the Joker. Okay. Now I feel like a lot of people are getting Joker fatigue. We talked a little bit about this yesterday with Holden McNeely, unfortunately.

And, but I will say, if you are going to choose, we haven't had him yet on the bracket. We have not. And I feel like the Joker, of course, you know, he's literally on truly unpredictable. Well, that's the things, the Joker superpower is his unpredictability field. That's why he can manage to punch Batman in the face.

Now, do they do the unpredictability field? Do they do that as just sort of like a like a thing to kind of quantify powers for him? Well, yeah, because you had to like people kept on asking like how is it that the Joker like who's just a guy? And he's very skinny as well. He doesn't have a lot of muscle. He doesn't work out. Like how can he beat how can he be a match for the Batman and everybody else over and over again on predictability field? Yeah. And it seems like he can hypnotize. He always has a gang that he like influences and they do anything for him. You know what that hypnotization is called? It's a living wage. That's hard to come by. Yeah. It's not Jared Leto Joker. No, no, no, no, no, I think we're

doing comic book Joker. We're going Yeah, not Jared letto Joker. No. Are we doing he's I think we're doing comic book Joker We're gonna do Alan Moore killing joke Joker. No killing joke Joker anything Mark Hamill, right? Yeah, Mark Hamill Joker Joker is also wonderful. Yes, but so we're gonna go Alan Moore killing joke because out of respect for Heath Ledger I'm not gonna desecrate his memory. Okay, including him in this. Oh And it's to be the Joker versus OJ Simpson. So, Jeff Seed is back. OJ Simpson looking for revenge, as always. And I think, who knows, is the Joker the real killer? I mean, OJ made it to the final four. It was OJ versus Candy Man. Candy

Man came out on top. So we're going to see how far OJ gets this time. Also, I want to say OJ, a little bit of a joker himself, naked gun, wonderful stuff. Oh, you mean a comedian? Yeah. Very, very funny guy. Very, very, very, very funny. All right. Next up, we have very sick. Yeah. He's very sick. It's a rumor, right? Or is it, or is it confirmed? It's a rumor. Yeah. It's a rumor. But I don't know how much longer he's going to be saying hello to Twitter world. I'm just surprised he goes to the doctor. He's going to be saying hello to the hell world. He wakes up in hell. Next imaginary character we got oh, we're bringing back. This is another top seed pumpkin head

All right pumpkin head. It was my favorite. Yeah, I love pumpkin head. He's an unstoppable force again for vengeance But what does that do poison the person who wishes for vengeance? So remember that? Pumpkin head is a really good example of that ask Lance Henricks. It is like 12 feet tall. Oh, yeah Yeah, he's got the reach. He's great. Yeah, he's like 12 feet tall. Oh yeah. He's got the reach. He's great. Yeah. He's like Coocoach size. Yeah.

Right. And then he can go out there and he's, you know, he's got the gumption and he's an unstoppable killing machine until his vengeance is completed. Were you referencing Tony Cuckoo? Yeah. The Coocoach. Yeah.

Okay. That's good. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. That's nice. That's what the name earlier today. Because a guy was describing that Coocoach was saying that before he'd have a game, he'd eat like a full meal. Like he'd eat an appetizer and then he'd have a, a, an entree and a bunch of pasta and then he'd have a glass of wine

and then he'd have a full like a tiramisu dessert and espresso. And the guy was like, what the fuck are you doing? He's like, in Europe, you take you eat the big meal before the game, you take big shit and then you play. That sounds great. That is incredible. Pumpkin head is going to be going up against Casey Anthony. Oh my God. Man, I think they might have come up against each other last year. I think that I think it was Casey Anthony and pumpkin head in the finals last time. We really need to. And then we're going to get into this because I, huh, man, I think that I think it was Casey Anthony and pumpkin head in the finals last time We really need to and then we're gonna get into this because I ha man. I think he killed her the last time He's got a killer again. I don't know no way. This is gonna make it. I can head hates child murderers. Yes We know what if George?

Fucking if he went and he was the one who summoned pumpkin head because she was trying to blame the death on him We'll get into it. Yeah, and she also has the law on her side Which is even worse. She is all a bokeh. Yeah. All right. So that is the first bracket over on let's say the eastern conference Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go over to the Western conference coming up first the worm from dune now this is eddie's edition this is not mine elshalube sounds like a mexican restaurant run by monk And the worm from Dune is going to be going up against, let's see here, Bonnie and Clyde. This is not going to go well for them. The thing is that you have to walk irregularly in the desert to not capture the attention of shy, hot body and Clyde.

But who's more erratic than Bonnie and Clyde? The issue is that I think that they're going to cause a call a lot of worms and they're very loud. They're very loud. All right. Let's see here. So next up, we have on the imaginary side. I've done so much passion and debating this week. I feel like Ross Perot is speaking and debating. We debated a lot before the show about this particular subject, the birds. The birds. From the birds.

And the debate we had, how many birds? Yes. We eventually, Eddie, I wanted 200, Eddie wanted 20,000. I think 20,000 is a rational number. See, I was trying to take the deck. We're talking about how many birds does it take to take over an island? I think 500 birds was my choice. I thought 500 birds was like a good round number. Eventually we settled on 400. Yes. Which I'm mad about by the way. But it's 400. Exactly. 400 birds is a lot of fucking birds. But not like for spread out over an island.

Well that's the thing, they're not not like for spread out over an island. Well, that's the thing, they're not going to be spread out over an island. It's a pack of birds. Just the gas station scene alone. It's a pack of birds. I think if you're overestimating the amount of birds it would take to take over an island. I do think that 500 birds is closer to that number.

Yeah, side story is L-P-O-T-L. If you want to do a little bit of bird math, if you want to tell us how much damage could five actually, no, let's say how much damage could 20,000 birds do? I think that's too much damage. That's right. I think that all it would take honestly is a thousand birds. I think a thousand birds is like overkill still. Yeah. No, a thousand birds way too many birds. You think this until you see it. All right. Remember, remember what happened in Raiders of the Lost Ark? When they wanted to do the snake scene, you know, Spielberg was like, let me get a thousand snakes.

And they look at it like, that's not enough stakes. He's like, get me another 2000 snakes. And they check it out. He's like, that's not enough stakes. He's like, all right, get me another 13,000 snakes. I'm looking at this right now. You know what's funny is that even though we've just discussed this and we've made our decisions already, we can't go back ever. The world's biggest flock of birds, if you look at this, is 10 million birds.

Yeah, and I did look it up. A flock of sparrows alone is 10,000 birds. This is what I'm talking about! is 10,000 birds. This is what I'm talking about! Okay, all right, so let's, that's, that's sparrows. That's sparrows. Here's how we're gonna compromise. We haven't even gotten to the fight. We haven't even gotten to the actual debate.

Ten geese took down an airplane. I saw with my own eyes. Wait, hey, that was Sully's decision to take into the harbor. He could have took it around. He could have put it on the fucking runway if he wanted to. All right, so let's say 400 Ravens, 400 Ravens, 400 really big birds, but there are a lot of seagulls in the birds. Okay. There are three hundred Ravens, 100 goals. God, I don't have a chance. How many Ravens are in a murder? But that's a part of, we'll see, we'll see what their verses, we'll see what they're

up against. If 400 ravens were swarming you, you don't have a chance. No. I actually think I could make it, but well, that's me. That's my confidence. Yeah, that is your confidence. Let's see who they're versus. Let's see who the birds are going up against.

Because there's one person in particular that the birds are going up against them there's one person in particular that the birds are going up against them. There's no chance. Uh, oh, Chris Benoit. Oh man, that's going to be good. The cross bird crammer. Chris Benoit versus the flock of birds. Well, if it's a ladder match, they got a chance. Yes. Well, this is parameters. We'll set the parameters one. Well, if it's a ladder match, they got a chance.

We'll set the parameters once we get to each one. All right. So the next imaginary one, Reagan from the exorcist. So therefore Satan or not. No, it's not. It's Pazuzu. Yeah. So I guess Satan would be like the coach. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's the, he owns, he's the Robert Kraft. Yeah. If Pazuzu loses, he's going to have a rough week in hell. So let's say Pazoo. Do you want to say Pazuzu or do you want to say Reagan? Reagan slash Pazuzu. Yeah. Well, cause this is how they fight. Pazuzu is using the body of Reagan. So that's what we have to take into account is that we also know that Pazuzu, if the other person is willing, can jump from Reagan into the other person because he wasn't the priest for a little bit

Right, but he also did the coming to me Coming to me like you did that so maybe we'll see what we get there. We'll see who they're against now Let's see who Reagan's Pazuzu are against Killdozer Zuzu were against killdozer. Yes. Oh, man. Yes. Damn.

Yes. Now that's a bit of an uneven match. That's yeah. No, that's uneven. Marvin Scramble up on the side of it. We don't know. The entire, that entire police squad could not break into the killdozer.

They tried to kill him. An entire town tried to stop Marvin Heemeyer and he took over and he had to stop himself like a real American. I've got some theories. So the last lineup here that we got, we have, Oh, this is a controversial one as well. Mothman. Okay. Now, the way we put it, this is a controversial one as well. Mothman. Okay, now Mothman. In the fictional world. The way we put it, this is that, yes, obviously, most people view Mothman as non-fictional, I do as well. I think that Mothman is a parapsychological ergo-gore of many different thought patterns,

and that our thought of it actually makes it real. Yeti. So the, but the issue is, is that we needed brackets to fill out, and so my reasoning was like much like how somehow the fucking bear Was a comedy at the Golden Globes mothman filled out the paperwork fictional yeah fictional league In order to get to get himself in there bear gets funnier in season two. I'll say that the mothman isn't real All right, and the last one that we have over here on this side, we have, boom, Lord Rael.

Lord Rael. So let me ask you. So everything we didn't pick, they just don't make the, they don't even get to play. Well, I kind of fucked things up a little bit because I thought that we needed like, I was like, okay, we need like 16, but it's like 16 each. All right. So it's like eight, it's 16 total. Oh, so we're not going to have our Reagan versus Reagan matchup because we had Ronald Reagan on the other list. Yeah. Do we want to take out any of these? That's the thing is that we can, you know what we can do is that we can go through

the case. The Anthony we've already done. Yeah these. Cause Casey Anthony, we've already done. I think Casey Anthony, we've already done. I think we could try to replace Casey Anthony. We each get one poll and then one, and we get to replace one of our choosing with whatever you pull. Yeah. All right. I like this. So these are all fictional. These are all real. These are real. We'll do real and fictional. Okay. Great. I like this. This is going to be fun All right, I would like to replace do okay, Casey Anthony. I would like to replace with gypsy rose blanchard So now that's gypsy rose versus pumpkin head

I Have pulled out of the real. Oh yes. Definitely got a change here. A real, or we got Robert the doll I pulled. Yes. Local celebrity. We love Robert. Can I look at the bracket for two seconds? Yeah. Go ahead. Yeah. All right. So Robert, we're going Robert's very real. And so I am going to replace Robert the doll with Bonnie and Clyde. Oh, okay. All right. All right. So it's shy. Robert the dog can kill from the inside. And what if, and what if he was able to talk to him?

It will destroy. It will literally be destroyed by the fires within Chai Halued that create the spice that make Orakus the special place that it is. I had a damn good argument for Bonnie and Clyde. I'm sorry. I had a real good argument for this. Well, what is it? Well, the the thing is that I think about this is that they are so erratic that they would accidentally do the steps and when it actually, but then when they actually get the boom, boom, boom to come because eventually they're going to start shooting off guns because they have to shoot up and shy,

Hulu is brought by noise noise and loud noises. And I think that if anybody on this list could figure out how to ride the worm, it's Bonnie and Clyde. They could end up riding the way they could. They could end up riding the worm. Yes. And they do. They could do the desert parkour. Yeah. They really could. They very much could. Well, no, because fucking Bonnie's all checked up. Yeah. All right. I guess she naturally does the desert walking. This is exciting. We've never, it's never been done. It's never been done. No, I've never fucked up like this before. It's great though. I like this. Yeah. Okay. So I got on the reel. Okay. So here's what I'm going to do. Oh,

Okay, so here's what I'm gonna do. Oh, what'd you get? I got Ronald Reagan, but I got Ronald I but I made sure to say Ronald Reagan 1978. Yeah, we're not doing 80 or not. Senator Reagan. Yeah, we're doing Governor Reagan. So I'm going to replace because we wanted Ronald Reagan versus Reagan from X. And if we're, yeah, it's possible. The only possible way that we're going to do this Lord, Ryel, well, replacing Lord Ryel. Yes, I'm going to replace Lord Ryel with Ronald. Greg,

that's fun because also the reason why we included Lord Ryel is a little bit of a tip off of our new series that we're going to be doing is that we are coming back to some of our old topics that we did that I'm very excited for, but Lord Raell is right on the top of the list and he's still fat and dumb. We were just going to kill him immediately anyway. All right. Now do we want to do the same thing with the imaginary? I think it's great. All right. Let's see. You could also pick and choose not to enter that. Correct? If you think it's better than what we already have, then we don't. Like, yeah, I'm not even going to put mine in.

Yeah. I don't really care about it. It was jigsaw. Yeah, fuck jigsaw. Fuck jigsaw. I don't need it. All right. Let's see it. Yeah, if I get Godzilla or Jaws, they're in. Yes. Xenu.

Oh, Xenu. Xenu's got to make it. Yeah, Xenu's got to make it. Xenu, you want to see the replays? Can I see it, please? Sure. Thank you very much. All right. Yeah, Zinu's gotta make it. Can I see a replace? Can I see it, please? Thank you very much. All right, so Zinu, it could go against.

No, I like the tall man too much. The tall man, though, I do believe we've done before. I do believe we've done him before. You have? Yes. Okay, so, yeah. All right. I'll take out the tall man.

Yeah. Tall man for Zinu. All right. We're take out the tall man. Yeah. Tall man for Zee. New. All right. We're moving in Zee. New. Yes. That's my boy. Zee news coming in. So the hydrogen bombs into play dog. See here. Mine is Oh, another Zee. Xenomorph. I was hoping for the more from the aliens. Take it all. The sleeper! Yeah, that is the sleeper. And I think... Oh, okay, here. I think what I'm gonna have to do here... I think I'm gonna have to... I think I'm gonna take out the Joker.

Yeah, I almost took out the Joker. I agree. I agree. I entirely agree. Alright, yeah. Wow. Too much going on there. Xenomorph... Much better chance than the Joker of taking it all Yeah, I think the Xenomorph's got a hot chance So let's hit that theme one last time This year's third annual last podcast on the left March madness of murder. Let's check out this bracket here

First round we have Zinu versus Andrew Kunane Next we have the puppets from Puppet Master versus Anton from No Country for Old Man Ain't no strings holding them down. I'll tell you what it's gonna be difficult to get those tiny little heads to get next to that machine But we'll figure it out and this is a long-awaited matchup here Everyone's been dreaming about this one the Xenomorph from Alien versus OJ Simpson It's the Xenomorph it's the morph versus the juice here today We can't we cannot wait for that line his juices are going to be looses as they slit open his belly with their hind claw. Can you put a glove on a xenomorph?

And this is going to be a big match up here. There's a very much an underdog in this race, but it is a creature of vengeance versus a girl who wants revenge. It's pumpkin head versus gypsy rose blancher.OOM KID HEAD! BOOM KID HEAD! BOOM KID HEAD! And on the west coast bracket we have the worm from Dune versus RAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Hiya! Robert the dog. Yeah, welcome to my party. Jokes, make fun of my hat. Next up, we have, oh now this is gonna be a very interesting match. I'm really gonna look to see what the coach

is gonna come up on this one for defense. We have 400 birds versus Chris Benoit. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You remind me of my daughter. Up next, this is also gonna be one W-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w- You're gonna say the pledge and you're gonna beat the devil. You're gonna fucking suck his mother's dick and hell. And the last one, this is a toss-up. Anyone could take this one. It is the Mothman versus Governor Ronald Reagan. They might be friends.

I don't know. I don't know. He might be trying to warn us about Ronald Reagan. It all depends on whether Ronald Reagan considers Mothman to be an East Coast elite. Hmm. Alright, well let's get into it. Let's get into it. Alright, first up, let's start at the top bracket.

Xenu, the villain of Scientology, the man who took all of the souls in the universe, brought them to Earth, dropped them into a volcano, and turned them into, what is it again? Peyton. drop them into a volcano and turn them into, what is it again? Satan! Satan's that attach to our bodies and can only be removed through thousands upon thousands of dollars of auditing by Scientology officers. I will say, number one, I'm very sorry to everybody who's not an OT3 who just heard that story and will now die of pneumonia.

Because that is just what happens to you. But that's what it is. Now, have you ever seen a picture of Zinu? No, but I know he's got lasers. He's got hydrogen bombs, my friend. What? Yeah. So the way he destroyed the millions and millions of his subjugated people. So we're my giant hydrogen bombs. So we got right, we're immediately up top. So Zee new is versus Andrew Cunanan. Now Andrew Cunanan, we love him. Here. Right. We love him. He is a horrible, hates fashion. So much. She just wants to destroy fashion. Could Andrew Cunanan convince Zinu that fuck with Tom Cruise. My thing is, is that as soon as he saw the heights, he's going to know.

I think Xenu is aware of TC. I don't think if Xenu is around, if Xenu allows, he's aware of TC. He knows TC. He knows people that are fans of TC, because he actually likes them. I think at first, if Xenu had met Andru Kanan, and I think that they get along. Yeah. Right. I think that they'd like each other. I think that you could, I could definitely see Andru Kananen, like trying to get like free lunches out of Zinu because I can kind of see Zinu being sort of like a gilf. Cause if you see some pictures of him, I've seen pictures of him.

He's an alien. Yeah. But some, he kind of looks like Javier Bardem. I would say it's more of an Anton Leveille look a little bit. Yeah. He's got a, he's got an evil go to. I feel like Zinu is very easily influenced. And I think Koonanon is a great influencer. We have to remember Zinu is the evil guy. He's like Satan of Scientology. Okay. So he's the ultimate deceptive. Xenu is a evil dictator that was an intergalactic warlord. Okay. Angie Kunanan, uh, loved the dance. And he loved fancy desserts. Yeah. And he got fat on champagne. And we're going con man versus con man. Yes. Then I think, I mean, cause you look at Andrew Kunan and yes, he was able to get a lot of free lunches. He got on a couple of cruises. He was able to be a kept boy for a while. Zinu was able to, through his machinations throughout the years, he was able to be a part of one

of the most successful cults of all time con man after con man after con man I think Zino is just a guy named Jeff It just shows up places But he just convinces people that he's you know But if you can convince people that you've done this in the past and all you really need is one hydrogen bomb He doesn't need millions. He has one I Bet you and you can an it tries to fuck Zino Zino says sure thing. Absolutely goes ahead like you'll be like, Oh, come see my house. And he's just

saying, he's just like, Oh my God, this house is huge. And he goes into the house and he sees all like, you know, cause he was probably got a big house. I think he's got a lot of it. But I, unfortunately, I don't think I think they might fuck, but then after they fuck, Xenu throws them in the volcano with the rest of the, his other subjugated millions and blows them up with a hydrogen bomb. I think that there's no chance that Andrew can end and can take Xenu, but I just like to try to figure out how it would happen. That's what we did.

That's what we're doing here. That's it. But I still feel like Xenu wins. Yeah. I feel like Xenu wins as well. So first matchup between Andrew Cunan and Xenu, Xenu wins as well. So first matchup between Andrew Kunan and Xenu. Xenu advances. Yes. Kunanana, Kunanana, hey, hey, hey, goodbye.

I always think that this is unfair. I've put $15,000 into my Scientological Technological Training. All right, so next up, we have the puppets from Puppet Master versus the man from No Country for Old Men. My main issue, greatest hitman of all time. Yes. I put him up there. I love him as a character. He's the Terminator, basically. Yeah.

Because what if he gets into, he's dealing with all these dolls? Portionally, wonder, again, if it's another one, it's like, would they all just get along? Like, would they all just hang out? They're little dolls. He might not have patience for toys. I can also see he's an unrelenting murderer, especially at the end of the movie. You remember, you need not to spoil

No Country for Old Men, it's a decade old movie. But it's like, he gets hit, he gets teet-boned, and he barely makes it. And like that guy just goes and goes and goes and goes and goes I think the puppets think we got this guy on lockdown They come into his room at night one thing they don't understand and times your curse sleeps with one I open I think that when it comes down to he's not even gonna use the cattle murdering bolt machine I think he's just gonna stomp on him. I don't think they even going to get a chance to get close to he also has a shotgun with a silencer on it

It's true, but the thing that people always discount on the puppets numbers Yeah, that's but one puppet distracts while the other puppets attack. Oh, you got in puppets, right? Oh, you got it. Yeah, I think there's seven puppets somewhere around there. You got blade You got gesture you got pinhead you got torch you got torch, you got the leech woman. The leech woman is that she's definitely, she is an underdog, but I think the one that really is going to take him down, six shooter. Yes. Yeah. Cause then you have somebody from a distance. Yeah. Torches has a flame thrower.

Yeah. But still at the same time, he could take a look and keep on ticking. You know, Anton Shagur is, it depends on on is he paid to kill the puppets? Because if it's his job, I could see him cutting his losses Getting overwhelmed if it's not his job. Yeah, but he's being paid by Chucky To come knock out the puppet master puppets out the puppet master puppets. It's true. Yeah.

Like, again, Quibono. If he has a dossier on them. Yeah, Quibono. If he's got a whole, yeah, if he's got all their weaknesses and he's going for them, because guess where puppets have to go? In their little box at some point. Yeah. And then all you got to do is that box.

Set it on fire. Throw it in the ocean. But remember this, this is in the arena. Like that, like this is, I mean, we are going with an actual competition here. Okay. So he's not doing are we thinking thunder dome? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah thunder a thunder dome type thing. Although on the other hand, ah, I don't know about that I can he get I like I like kind of a dangerous game thing where you just tell like hey, you got to kill this guy

Hey, you got to kill this guy and then they meet and wherever that they show up Yeah, well, yeah, it's like they have to hunt them down and use whatever wiles they may have I don't know why I pictured this in a hotel room. I do feel this is in a hotel room He have guns or not so he's got the He's got his weapons. He's got his he's got his weapons. Yeah, yeah, but I would say I think it's Anton sugar Yeah, I think it's sugar too by a hair. He's gonna get wounded for sure He's gonna be jacked the fuck up. Shredder's going to fucking stab up his legs. Yeah. But I think he comes out on top, but I think it's one of those he comes out worse for wear. All right. Two out of

three. Anton goes ahead. Now are we saying that when Anton goes against Zeno, is he injured now? Yes. Well, that's what I would say. Yeah. I mean, that's the thing. Yes. I, because it is going to be in the March madness. If one of your guys falls, you got to play without that guy. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, he's going to, every person that goes in the next round definitely goes with whatever injuries they may have. Zeno is probably still a hundred percent. Yeah. Zeno, nothing to be using. Don't touch Zeno. Yeah. Because Andrew Cunanan is going at him with his while. Yeah. And he also got empty because ancient Cunanan sucked his dick the night before. Yeah. So he's going at him with his wild. Yeah. And he also got empty because ancient QAnon and sucked his dick the night before. Yeah.

So he's even doing better. Yeah. Next up we have it's an this is an interesting one the xenomorph versus OJ Simpson. Well, okay. There's precedent here. Because we talked a little bit about last year about how because we kind of broke the spell here Because last time well, no actually Now this is just twice because OJ Simpson beat the gremlins. He that's why he got to be that's where you made it to the final round Yeah, so there's precedent of one big man killing many tiny things But we're only going against one xenomorph here like one gigantic alien one

Yeah, alien one alien one. I think Hmm. No face huggers. Also gotta say OJ's a stabber the fucking blood. Oh, he's got no chance. Yeah, the blood's acid Okay, OJ If he's got his full Buffalo Bill's uniform on with the helmet in the Bronco, like he allowed to have the Bronco. I would say that the only way you could remotely equalize himself versus a xenomorph. Those count as accessories. Okay.

Yeah. So if he has the Bronco, he could live for a while because what is the xenomorphs main like weakness, right? Like, yes, there's total obliteration. Fire. Yeah. What is the xenomorph's main weakness? Right? I guess there's total obliteration. Fire. So maybe, maybe, I guess, if he could get the xenomorph in him,

if he could bump it around with the car, like kind of Jurassic Park style, where he's coming around, he's trying to knock it around. This fight is on earth, correct? Yes. So maybe just maybe he could clip, he could clip it, run it over, like you could drop them, you could throw the Bronco into the, into the alien, it could explode, maybe, maybe he finds out the alien is the person who actually killed Nicole Brown Simpson.

No. And then his power of vengeance, he's understand, he's like, finally, my name could be exonerated, They'll bring me back. My trophies. Now I was seeing, I was watching a video recently. It was about like crash test dummies and they were taking different cars and crashing them in the walls. And the one that faltered the most was the Bronco. Yeah. I don't know if the Bronco is, so I think if you hit a Xenomorph with your Bronco, I think the Xenomorph isn't really phased that much. I don't think the Xenomorph is phased in any way whatsoever because the Xenomorph is like a bullet sponge. I think the Xenomorph beats, I think the Xenomorph takes it.

Obviously, pads and everything. Because that's the thing is that if he's in the Bronco and he's wearing football pads, it's not going to be hard to get out of there. Where is, I can't even go to restaurants anymore. It's going to be hard to drive. So yes, the xenomorph does take it over OJ. Wow. OJ fallen earlier than they thought. And then sometimes Duke goes up against Gonzaga in the first round. That's just how it is. It's hard. It is hard out there. You got to be, huh, I feel bad for him in a way. All right. So next up, we have the creature of vengeance

versus the girl who wants vengeance pumpkin head versus Gypsy Rose Blanchard. Okay. So all right. Let's imagine that DD Blanchard before she died. So like, like maybe either she set pumpkin head against Gypsy Rose Blanchard, right? Or is it the guy that killed her? Yeah. The guy that she worked with the guy from Facebook. I forgot his name. The thing is Nicholas, the guy that actually murdered DD Blanchard. I'm a little fuzzy on the details because I only watched it many, many years ago. I watched the documentary many years ago. I mean, this is definitely a really tough one, but I don't think like as much as I want

the Niko to Rose to come out on top. I just don't think that there as I want the nicole's go to rose to come out on top. I just don't think that there's much of a chance. Well, this is the thing right now. What we're seeing is a phenomenon in the randomness of the bracket is that high powered that we're going to get to a really big skirmish at the center of the madness here, because we're going to have a lot of high powered entities against each other because normally like we obviously We we respect reality here and we really kind of dial in we're really trying to figure out here Exactly who would win and unfortunately with gypsy rose blanchard like ah, does she have the power of social media?

Can she get yeah, I'm can head canceled But maybe that but yeah, or does he fold? There's all of a sudden, now we're going to see pumpkin head on Ben Shapiro. But that's the other thing too, is that pumpkin head thrives on belief, correct? Like he thrives on other people. I actually think you have to have faith in pumpkin head, right? I know, no. You have to-

Those Creaser punks, they didn't really believe in pumpkin head. The second you unleashed, it just, the thing about pumpkin head is that you are damned the moment you acquire pumpkin heads vengeance. Right. You are damned. And the pumpkin head, it's just doing its job. It's just out there. It shows up every day.

It's in the rat race. Why did no one- is no one ever thought of this? Why don't you use pumpkin head to kill himself? You think you would why don't why doesn't gypsy rose blanchard? I think that creates like a time loop I Think it's one of those words like if you doc Brown meets doc Brown This is again, that's pumpkin ever pumpkin head then yeah, this is pumpkin head versus gypsy rose blanchard Yeah, and I think pumpkin head rips gypsy rose blanchard in half. Yes.

I think they arrive and gypsy rose blanchard sitting on me and like, you wish you had my husband's dick. And then like, and then pumpkin head is just like, you know, they're nodding. And then you see Nicholas go to John laughing in his jail cell as he's calling Lance Henrickson on Zoom. They've gotten pumpkin head into the stadium.

Pump Gypsy Roblenture shows up. She's like, am I on the Ellen DeGeneres show? And then he rips her from the limbo. Yeah. Sticks her in the spokes of a motorcycle. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So it's going to be pumpkin has to be pumpkin. Yeah. And that's the things that on that, on that we have a coming up here in a bit this afternoon on NBC Xenomorph versus pumpkin head. And that's going to be one hell of a match. So we've gone through the Eastern conference. Let's go through the Western first up the worm versus Robert the doll.

Yeah. Shia hood versus a an inanimate wooden objects made that's so frat that's so incredibly fragile. It is shy, a lude. Yeah. A thousand meter underground worm God. Yes. Versus cloth. Here's my thing about this, though. Shy Halued eats Robert the Doll, okay? Does Robert the Doll's soul then take over Shy Halued? The thing about Shy Halued is that I think that the whole entirely destruction of Robert the Doll would sort of negate the curse because childhood is the lord of the desert. He is, um, it's a real creature that has been bestowed upon with mystical powers. Yeah. But what it is

is fucking five buses that can eat and it has a fire in the center of its belly. But can it get cursed? Even if it wins, even if the worm wins, is it now cursed? My thing is that Robert the Doll mostly curses you due to social faux pas. The shy HALOOD arrives and he's not engaged. He's not there to take his picture. He's not making fun of Robert the Doll's clothes. Certainly can't call it Robert. It says, But what do we know about destroying haunted objects? It's bad. It's bad when you destroy a haunted object. And so the worm has no choice but to destroy a haunted object. But that's the thing is that if Robert the haunted doll then possesses the worm, that's the thing.

And then that's the thing is that the worm gets bad luck. I think that's what I'm saying. I think the worm and Robert cancel each other out. I think it's one of those where the whole thing, the entire arena explodes. Even though three worms destroyed all of the Harkinons. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think Robert, the haunted doll can take him down. But that's the thing is that Robert, the haunted doll is then destroyed and cannot move on to the next round. So I think we have to dip back into the bucket. Whoa. I think we have a draw fight all together. No, the fight happens. They're both gone. They can't move on. Like imagine it's like two basketball teams, both died into playing crash.

At the same time. The greatest day CNN ever had. They've got to like replay a game to see like who gets replaced. So I think we go back. Let's redraw. I think we redraw. So do we pull a reel or a fake? We pull both.

We pull both. This is going to be a new matchup. Oh, yeah. Let's see. Let's get it right now. Yeah, you do it, Marcus. So imaginary we've got. Unprecedented. Yeah. You're going to love it. Marcus. So, imaginary we've got... Unprecedented. Yeah.

You're gonna love it. Godzilla. Yes! Wow. What a replacement! Yeah, I mean, what a fucking replacement! It's a big man for a big man, and going up against Godzilla, we've got... Squirrel hunting Sam!

What is the problem? Is that... It's hard! It's the problem, is that it's so hard, it's so hard because like obviously, it's just like, God tell the guy, he's just like, oh shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like go down, go and get some girl, get her a drum ass after that. He's like chewing on an acorn, he's like hanging out in the tree just being like, I wonder what the old holler's gonna provide

for those boys, secondhand me. All right, now, oh, now I've never been to a holler called Oki Nawa before. Oh my God. Oh my God. So that is, yeah, we know what you're doing. Yeah, that's what you are. That's so much fun.

Yeah, that's a lot of fun to see. You never know what can happen here at the March Madness. Yeah, you really don't know. Wow, anything's possible. Yeah, anything is possible here in the March Madness. Also shout out to Robert the Doll. Yeah, there you go. And honestly, it's controversial because you know I love the power of shy, hallowed,

but I also believe, you know, like What are you gonna do? What can you do? What can you do? It's gonna get sick. Yeah Sometimes things it's all about what goes you have to what comes into your body is what comes out of it All right, so next up we have four Next up we have four hundred birds yes birds Versus Crispin. Wow. Who naturally, who of course, as we know, I mean, he's dead now. Uh, but he did a behalf from through CTA did murder his entire family. It was quite sad, but he is here and the March madness of murder murdered himself with gym equipment.

Yeah, he did, which I get vibes. Okay. Miss, might be controversial. If you look at the birds, the movie. Yeah. Bibes. OK, Miss. Might be controversial. If you look at the birds, the movie, yeah, there's a lot of people that were terrorized by these birds. And we all say, yes, oh, my God, that's dumb. I do think that four hundred birds, despite what Chris Benoit can do,

I think if it was a hundred birds, Chris Benoit would win. I think he could make it make it through a hundred birds But I think 400 birds overwhelms Crispinaw. I don't care. I don't care how much really well for a while Yeah, and then he's bloody and he's bloody and he's has been like these girls look like my son or whatever And that's the but that's the problem His eyes are going to go real quick. Oh, yeah, once they pluck out his eyes. Yeah, he's over Yeah, and he's emotional. Yeah

After if he like think about this if this happened between him killing his family and killing himself He kills his whole family. He goes out for a breather. He wonders what's machine He's gonna use to kill himself. He looks out on the horizon. He's the huge swarm of birds coming. Yeah. In his own mind, he's just been like, God damn, I got to kill these fucking birds or like the infuriate him or he's down or maybe is he, is he, he is how I see it. He kills his entire family. All right. Walks outside. There's a bunch of birds on this child's jungle gym outside. Oh yeah, and he's just like, he looks at those birds and he's like, fuck these fucking birds. He instigates the fight. He kills all the birds there.

And so yeah, he's in there smoking cigar, probably eating a drumstick or something, whatever you do after you kill your family, right? You're just trying to have some, cause finally some peace and quiet. And so you're just trying to have that moment for yourself and you're sitting there and then yeah, you know, all these birds start looking at him funny. You know what? Honestly, I'm just trying to sit. Finally, I have a moment of silence and these birds are going to fuck with me today.

And so yeah, he kills the first batch of birds, rest of the birds, one gets away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Catch the wreck. Because I don't have tweets yet. It's called X now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Real bad swat team gear on he might be able to blast much much longer, but he is going to be yes mostly nude And if I forget the birds versus Robo cop like Robo cop gonna take it Robo cops armored And there's only a little bit to peck but Ben was sitting there. He's wearing literally wearing underwear and boots Okay, so also so we're gonna give it to the birds birds. I think it's willing to note that we just lost a hundred birds

Okay. Yes a hundred birds. Okay. Yeah. So 300 birds. Yeah. Now it's 300. While work this way for a hundred of the birds, the other 300. Yes. Yeah. Have one. They have moved on. Okay. All right. Now can a wounded Anton sugar beat 300 birds? We're going to find out. Well, actually that, that is going to be Anton Chigurra versus Zee news. So we're going to come up with that one later. Yeah. This one, one that came out of that one, that's 300 birds versus Godzilla.

Yeah. We already know how that's been because the 300 birds get consumed every single time Godzilla farts. Next up, we have Reagan possessed by Pazuzu versus killdozer. All right. Now Marvin Heemire, as you all know, American hero, sometimes a reasonable man is driven to unreasonable things. He piloted his killdozer over a real estate deal that technically he won. Can we, can we destroy his small town of what the killdozer is this killdozer is a completely bulletproof Mechanism built on the the skeleton of a bulldozer that he welded Rot iron Shielding all around so it was impervious to any sort of attack the entire police

Like squad of his town was a versus his killdozer and they couldn't hack in and he had shotgun windows that he was sticking out and like, but he still never killed anybody. But he did do millions of dollars in property damage and then off himself inside of his own killdozer. So that's what kind of gives him his power. But you got Regan, this little girl that is all fueled by the power of Pazuzu. So let's see how this goes. Reagan is she's full Pazuzu. So let's see how this goes. Reagan is, she's full Pazuzu.

Yeah. Yeah. Floating, jerking off the crucifix. Mind in their own business, tied to a bed, Kildoser breaks down the wall and sets off Reagan Pazuzu. But the thing is about that, you got to remember where is Reagan Washington DC? Yeah, Kildos and getting up those and that's the thing the moment Kildos are Unfortunately, that is his true kryptonite. Yeah Yeah, because if he was gonna try to get if he was going to try to get, if he was going to survive through that town, you don't think that the sea to power wasn't going to be next. You don't think he was going to go. You don't ask. Think about this. So Joe Biden, grand pod show, looking for his own October surprise. Yeah. Don't you think him helping

Marvin Heemeyer kill the devil himself would help him with the evangelical vote. He's got a weak heart. He's got a weak heart. But you're just saying, yeah, but he won't be in there. But that's, but all you don't think if he doesn't use the seal team six to help Marvin Heemire beat the devil, that that's not going to put him up with the Christian vote. All Biden has to do is clear the way for kill. That's all he has to do. All he has to do do is say like, don't stop this guy. He's going to any goes on live TV and says I'm letting kill. I'm kill. Dozer is going to murder the devil today. And yes, He does. He does. He does. He does.

He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does.

He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does.

He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. He does. the devil. It's hard because that's that he does have to sell the bulldozer has to run over a little girl to kill the devil. And also that's his job as president. Is it a little girl anymore? Yes. Yes. Because that's the problem. You have to sacrifice the little girl in order to kill Pazuzu. But if you kill the little girl again, does Pazuzu become is Pazuzu then free to possess killdozer?

Do we have another draw? I might know, actually no, because we were saying this before. It is because when he came in to get you to do the, when the extras just came in, he did this, they're like, come into me! Yeah. Come in, he invites the devil into him, and Marvin Heemire will never do that. Marvin Heemire didn't even want people to come into his house. But imagine if Pazuzu took over Marvin Heemire, and then Pazuzu is behind the wheel of the

killdozer. Yes. Then the killdozer wins again. Yeah, the killdozer. Because it's the killdozer wins. Okay, so it's not Martin that's the person here, it the kill. Those are itself, but it is still technically Martin inside. If it's technically Reagan inside, then it's technically Martin inside. He kills Reagan. So Pazuzu jumps into Marvin Heemire. That means Marvin Heemire wins, but

he's now the devil in the kill. So now we've got Pazuzu, kill those are Pazuzu. Yes. So now that goes on next round. Kill those are Pazuzu. That's good. God, I want that. I want it to be real. I want it to be fucking real. This would be way better than the last exercise movie. That would be fucking awesome. All right. And the final matchup in the Western bracket, we have the mothman versus 1978 governor, Ronald Reagan. Now one thing the mothman knows is that there's problem with the infrastructure in this country. And the one major like kind of loophole and the problem with the Republicans, right? I

actually don't even remember at this time period is that they're weak on infrastructure because they don't like to spend money. So I feel like this is a complete example of like the problems that we're facing right now. Yeah, right? This is actually an a droid and by infrastructure You mean the moth man tried to warn everyone about the bridge bridge collapse. Yes, and then Ronald Reagan I think he's doing his best to make every bridge collapse that he can fucking he can because he doesn't want to spend money Yeah, one thing I know about Reagan could take a bullet. He can't take a bullet. He can. He's, he's, it's hard. He's hard to kill, but he didn't fight. He didn't fight in a

war. Right? Reagan, I don't know. Probably. I think he did because I think the every, I think it's something like every president of the 20th century fought in a war except he, yeah, he trained. Yeah. He trained. Well, I think we're Reagan. Maybe I think he was looking at right now. He was in Carter fought in a war. No, he's too nice. He fought in the peanut warts. Yeah. No, I think Ronald Reagan was one of

the guys like, I'm an actor and that's going to be what I do. That's what he was. Yeah. He was, yeah, he was an actor. Does he have the chimp? So you can listen in. Does he have Bonzo? Yeah. Does he have Bonzo? Yeah. I think I would consider that Bonzo. We're talking a whole another fight here. Yeah. Cause then we're Does he have the chimp so you can listen in does he have bonzo? Yeah, does he have bonzo? Yeah? I think I would consider that bonzo. We're talking a whole another fight here

Yeah, cuz then we're talking about mothman versus Reagan in a chimp. Yes if mothman What's mothman's attack like what is he lies? He's a giant if we are we taking him as the end. I'm not taking him as a half-cycle creature here. This is him as a full John if are we taking him as the and I'm not taking him as a half-cycle creature here. This is him as a full bodied cryptid. Yeah, this is and mothman is as we know he's muscled up Yeah, it's like it's a fist fight. Yeah between Ronald Reagan and a champ. Yes versus mothman Yeah, the champ Sets it over the and right at this. He's still pretty old.

I'm looking at this right now. All right. So he did avoid, they were trying to call him a draft dodger. So he did go. His problem truly says, here's the main problem was that he was near sighted. Hmm. Hmm. I feel like if he's with his red eyes and he can't be scared of the sight of the month,

if Mothman kills the champ first, Ronald Reagan's fuck. What about secret service? He was governor then. No secret service. But they got, he's got protection. Yeah. He's got like a detail and we know his detail. They're flackin. I still think Mothman beats Reagan and the monkey. I think they're just too strong. I think too physically in these two kids, I think that if he gets rid of the monkey, then it's fine. But if he, yeah, like let's say he goes, he feeds into Ronald Reagan's confidence about the American infrastructure. Mothman knows every single bridge highway that's got a problem. He knows like when traffic lights are out, he knows when like he's a civil engineer.

He's got like, you know, like he knows what he's going on. So he takes Ronald Reagan to an area where he knows that, like, maybe there's been a lot of fracking. Yeah. And Ronald Reagan and the Champ are expected to be this like fight. But he's telling he's he's just been like, oh, but don't worry, bongo. This is good. This is some fine American roadwork We're working on here, you know, and then they go The law fan being like, you know, I

lead them out To go to the fight It takes across a rickety old bridge and he knows it's gonna collapse The bridge collapses kills Ronald Reagan in the champ. Oh, what about the mothman or the mothman could fly? Yeah. Yeah. The mothman can fly. I think with all the, um, you know, because we got to remember Reagan crippled the, uh, the mental health community. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. He took 500,000 beds. So we 500 mentally un, 500,000 kicked out of. So if we include

mentally ill people that were kicked out of the institution system, when Ronald Reagan shut it down, when did he shut it down? I thought when he was president. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is pre. Yeah. This is pre. Yeah. Yeah. This is just the president of SAG. What is he going to do? Have fucking like Bob Hope at the end of the day though. I think that a moth man just flies up to Ronald Reagan and strangles him to death. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that I think that moth man can hold him, rip his wings off. But he takes it. He grabs Reagan by the neck. He just flies up in the air four feet. Yeah. And the champ out of his, out of his reach.

What if the champ hates Ronald? Yeah. What if you find out in the very end, the chimp is like, honestly, he's full English just like this. I just want to say, yeah, I'm talking monkey. First of all, I don't want to even get into that. Second of all, I didn't like working for this guy anyway. Both man's in the trees. And they usually like flying through the trees. all, I didn't like working for this guy anyway. Both man's in the trees. And they usually like flying through the trees. No, I know you can stand around and keep going. He stands in the field.

I can see that champion like now this actually frees me up. I can go take that job at Neverland Ranch. Wow. That's interesting. Yeah. Bonzo actually bought bedtime for Bonzo. That was bad. That was a Ronald Bet.

Bonzo goes to Betburg. That was the yeah, that was a Ronald Bet, Bonzo goes to Betburg. That was the Ramon song. They had a sequel called Bonzo Goes to College, but there were no original actors, the ones that were originally in the whole thing. Peggy, who also appears, like I gotta see who is this Peggy person. So are we saying that Bonzo is well educated? Bonzo went to college. Yeah, he's got more education, a lot of people in this country. Interesting. Are we saying that Bonzo is well educated? I think Bonzo went to college.

Yeah. He's got more education. A lot of people in this country. Interesting. I mean, I really think, I think there's a chance Bonzo takes out the fucking mothman. Okay. Well, let's, let's say this though. This is an interesting, this is an interesting addition. Bonzo, bedtime for Bonzo, that started chimp named Peggy, but unfortunately in 1951 Peggy died in a fire. So they had a different chimpanzee for Bonzo goes to Colin. Okay. A younger, stronger, stronger one. Fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire,

fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, fire, yeah, it's a different. I still think, but I think Mothman takes it. Yeah. Mothman takes it. And so we have on the Western bracket. Let's go through these lineups. We have Godzilla versus 300 birds kill. Those are Pazuzu versus mothman. That's going to be by far the most interesting of these lineups. But on the other side, we have an interesting lineup here. We have Xenu versus Anton, no country for old man. And this one, I think this is going to be the battle that everyone's going to be talking about. I think this is going to be Battle of the Titans, Xenomorph versus Pumpkinhead.

Alright, let's get a couple of these. Let's bounce through a couple of these because we already know, right? We kind of know unfortunately, we know Godzilla is going to beat these birds. Yeah, Godzilla's taking out the birds. I don't know because again, you got to go for the eyes. I just think Godzilla needs eyes. I don't think Godzilla, they think. We shoot Godzilla literally with artillery weapons. I think that and he continues to live. I don't think Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla,

Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla,

Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla, Godzilla takes it over 300 birds. I think that that's where we start. Yeah. That's where we start. Yeah. For sure. Cause we're going to get into some of these that are longer, more drawn out fights. Of course.

So Zinu versus Anton, who's winning that one? I think it's got to be Zinu. I think it's got to be Zinu too. Because again, we're looking at massive power here. I think Anton Chagur is totally fine. It gets a bunch of little dolls. But I think once you're up against the guy that inspired LRH and then, you know know destroyed billions of people with hydrogen bombs. He has his own volcano. I think it's just difficult I think that if he was hired to fight unfortunately, you think of on Anton sugar was hired to kill Zinu

Scientology would get involved in the litigation side and eventually Anton sugar would be so drained his funds would be so drained He wouldn't even be able to get to the fight. Yeah, well, how is he's gotta get in a spaceship? Yeah, because he's DC, he's gotta get in a DC8, a golden DC8. Unless he comes, unless Zeno comes down to meet Anton Chagr, but still Anton Chagr is kind of like, you gotta buy bullets. Now, he has to buy compression air for the fucking cattle killing.. Like we're thinking about like they drink your milk shake. The economics. That's how Scientology we have to think about the economics. Now, I have a question though, before we move any further.

Now, Battlefield Earth is John Travolta Zinu? No. No. Okay. Cause if he was, it's an allegorical tale about the about leverage and the morality of Scientology. Yeah. Yeah. Unfortunately, as much as I want Anton sugar to win, I think Zino really has this. Yes. I think Zino takes it.

Yeah. So next up, now this is, this is a big battle here. Xenomorph versus pumpkin head. I'm saying right off the bat, my pick, Xenomorph. Yeah. Yeah. I really want pumpkin head to take this, but I don't think there's much of a chance. It's too fast.

Yeah. Pumpkin head's like slow and like it takes a while to move. He's got really long arms. But what if Sigourney Weaver was the one who unleashed? I guess that's, it's adding somebody to the fight. Yeah. Yeah. Sigourney would be Sigourney Weaver.

She's not in his world. Yeah. She's not a pumpkin heads world No, but I'm saying pumpkin head now everybody's in this world. Okay. Yeah So I view it as if whoever calls look who's calling pumpkin had to go against the xenomorphs ET Yeah, I mean maybe ET verse I mean whoo, we still haven't that's all a pitch. I've been making about I want to see the warrior class on The ET planet. Yeah. Yeah. What's the warrior class like? They can heal we know that we know that but it also imagine they have a bunch of other weird crazy powers Yeah, but I don't know what that is but again, that's not what discussion we're having here

This entire side thing that I'm making up yet. Can't ET fly.T. fly or levitate? You can do a lot, I guess. I seem to remember. Yeah, the boy. Yeah, the boy. Yeah. He makes the boys fly. Yeah. So, but he could by extension, he can make himself fly. He's like on something. Yeah. Cause he can make a table fly, but he can't make himself fly. Can he make a butterfly? Is that what they, I don't know. I mean, I think, you know, as much as I love pumpkin head, I don't think it has a chance against a xenomorph. I don't think so either.

Unfortunately, and I love pumpkin head. Pumpkin head, I've been championing each one of these. I absolutely, you know, I love, but again, I don't know who's gonna say what amount of vengeance would allow him to beat a mama xenomorph. Gotta think of mama xenomorph is just like, we're not machinery. We're not even talking about a mama xenomorph. This is just your regular, this is alien one.

This is alien one xenomorph. I think that was a baby. No, the baby was the thing that popped out of the guy's chest. Yeah, the face. The facehuggers. Yeah, that's yeah. Well, there's the facehuggers and then because they grow so fast. Yes.

Imagine fucking alien xenomorph popping out of pumpkin heads chest. That's fucking sweet. Just for that reason alone, you win. Yeah. That's it. So Xenomorph goes ahead. And so that in the final four on the Eastern side, we got Xenu versus Xenomorph.

X versus X. So this is the very end. This is the championship. We still have one more, but we actually have three more to go. Okay. Yeah. Actually four more to go. Cause we're going to have to get to the final two. So this next one up to see who is in the Western finals, kill those are bazoo zoo versus moth man. I think that kill those are bazoo zoo. Yeah. Takes it because you have completely unpredictable. He has got the power. Now he has devil powers. He's moving things around.

Yeah. The only thing I'm, those are at a Pontiac, you know, you know, that's, that's usually what mothman's going to get the closest thing I would say is, is if killdozer is bogged down, but the same infrastructure attack that Mothman does. But now you have Marvin Heemeyer, fueled by the power of the devil himself fighting Mothman hand-to-hand combat. I think he still takes it because he's powered by Pazuzu. That is probably the, the very kind of silhouette that Pazuzu as an entity is even projected from. Yeah. I don't think that, uh, Mothman's gonna be able to get inside the Killdozer in the first place.

No, I think that the Killdozer- He's a Moth. Moth's just bump-off things. I think it'll just bounce off the thing, and then all he has to do is- If it was the van from Dumb and Dumber, the Mothman would have a chance. But it also be said to fire some other place. Mods are attract. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. He goes that thing like it depends on how because Marvin Heemire is clever on his own. He is. But if he's fueled by Pazuzu, he could really know what he's doing. And he could get him over there. He could go, he makes him off and go gets his back turned. He's looking at the fire because he's mesmerized by it. Kill. Those are clips. I'm all right. Done. Kill. Dozer.

Pazuzu. Yes. Pazuzu kind of got the one off on that. It just got to chill. Yeah. Yeah, he really did. But Pazuzu is going to be working real hard in the Western Conference finals versus Godzilla. All right. Let's the final four here. Yeah. The final four is Zinu versus Xenomorph and Godzilla versus Kildos or Pazuzu.

Damn. Very science fictiony. Very science fiction. Yeah. It's almost all science fictiony except for Kildos or Pazuzu. All right. So Xenomorph, Xenu, this is a a big one hand to hand combat. It's also, you know, if Xenu's big thing, like why one of the reasons I feel like Anton Shakur couldn't fucking go after Xenu is because Xenu was already in space and how's Anton Shakur going to get in space? Yeah Xenomorph Fucking already there. You know morph. No Xenomorph knows how to get there because Xenomorph just a face hunker gets it, you know, it's just, they just climbs the ladder until they get

into space. Yes, and Xenu is himself a leader and a dictator, but what is his hand-to-hand fighting experience like? I think probably in his ancient times he probably had to be a pretty strong hand-to-hand combat fighter in order to instill the respect it would take the rest of his legions like a dingus con Yes, just like Genghis con Genghis. Yeah, so they he would be genga little falls there But I feel like so he might have some prowess if there was anybody that would have experience fighting something like a xenomorph It would be Zino because he has gone the planet to planet destroying and conquering. Thing is, so is the xenomorph.

Xenomorph is not an animal. Like the xenomorph is thinking, yes, it's more animal-like. It's a killing machine. It's the ultimate killing machine. It's the ultimate predator. Yeah. But it's also, it's a society. So like they have intercommunication.

It's not just like a dumb beast. It's this thing that also kind of, it has a cunning. Hive mind. So Zinu Let's say alright now. He's destroyed two Victor. He's destroyed two people with his hydrogen bombs in his volcano Let's just say honestly it gets down to it where he does the thing where he's just like everybody back off This is time for me to handle the Venomorph myself. Yeah. Right? And so they're all like...

You can't use the bomb because they're in space. Yeah. So we kill himself if he use the bomb. And so he comes in and he has his I see him with a lance. It's been like, I'll tell you what, Venomorph, there's a lot of people that said that you're tough stuff, but I'll tell you what, you've never met big daddy Venu before, right? And then he comes in... And then he comes in...

And then he comes in... And then he comes in... And then he comes in... And then he comes in... And then he comes in... And And he comes to that machine for my shot. Is that what you're doing? And so alien and him, hand to hand combat, he's trying to and he's like, back off! I'll do it myself! But I still think that the Xenomorph takes Xenomorph. Absolutely. Hand to hand combat. Yeah, we're all on the same page. Xenomorph goes to the finals.

Yeah. Woo! Yeah. Wow. And we're going to the finals. Yeah. Woo! Yeah. Wow. And we're gonna get sued for this. We're gonna get sued, but I'll take it. Yeah. And in the Western Conference Finals, the other half of the Final Four, it's Godzilla versus Kildos or Pazuzu.

I feel like Kildos or Pazuzu doesn't stand a chance. We all know. Multiple tanks, battleship. Godzilla throws battleships, but there is the power of the devil involved. Then he does have a soul. No, that's another whole another question. So he destroys. So Marvin Heemire as Pazuzu knows in his head. I'm Pazuzu. And let's let us, but let's define our Godzilla here. I think we need to define it for the first time 1954 Godzilla yes, okay. We're talking original

standing yeah, yeah a wreck standing. Yeah, not like you know that agile in any way Rex arms. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, and he's got he is the big you know his spines light up and he breathes fire and he walks around and he's amphibious But also yeah, he's amphibious. So that that's the Godzilla we're dealing with here and not massive, massive, massive. You know, just like regular Godzilla. He still kills breaks buildings. Oh yeah. Yeah.

He's far larger than the Kildons, but Marvin Heemire in his head, as Pazuzu is like, well, the devil, of course the devil wants Godzilla. Yeah. Cause he's thinking in his head being like, once I have the power of Godzilla, then finally, finally I can go blow up the Vatican. Yeah. He's so excited to do it. But then the problem is, is that I think what you're saying is the key here.

Marvin Heemeyer rolls in on the killdozer straight up at the Godzilla, assuming he'll even kill me and I'm going to jump into the Pazuzu. Yeah. I think that that into the Pazuzu. Yeah, I think that That's the problem is that Pazuzu like he rolls in Godzilla Lights him up shoot some of the lasers steps on him whatever Pazuzu pops out like yes Now it's my time and then he goes up to Godzilla and they ain't nothing to go into yeah, and then he's like

time. And then he goes up to Godzilla and they ain't nothing to go into. And then he's like, no, also, we talked about might have pecked out Godzilla's eyes. So there's no entry point. That's true. That is absolutely true. So I think he kills the devil. I think Godzilla kills the devil. Wow. Wow. God. This is why. Hey, this is what happens every March Madden. Yeah, it is what you never know. The world is thrown into incredible chaos every March. Every March, the whole world has to re-put everything together. Yeah, and we have to spend the entire year rebuilding for the next March Madden. I'm like, oh, God, it's already happening again.

It's true, Matt. All right. I mean, honestly, those shout out to Killdozer. Yeah. You fucking, you held it. Yeah. Yeah, really. That was strong as fuck. Yeah, that was really strong.

I didn't really wish it would have happened. Yeah, it was a really strong show. And so, I mean, this is, I mean, these finals, I mean, we're talking like, there's no underdogs here. No. Like this is kind of the ones that you expected to make it Like these are like this is like, you know, Michigan with you know, was it what was his name Chris Weber Chris? That's exactly I was about

It is a big one. And Christian, late, that's exactly what I was about to say. That's the matchup that we have right here. We have xenomorph versus Godzilla. And I'm thinking because Godzilla is so massive, is so gigantic. I'm thinking we're going to have to allow a mama. We're going to have to allow war like a full xenomorph army and a mama versus Godzilla. Yes, I think My this is gonna be controversial. I think to a lot of people I Think army of xenomorphs takes down Godzilla I think it's the only chance of us ever defeating Godzilla I feel like too, but then our life then the world is taken over by xenomorphs. Yes. Yeah, no

No, it's a choice. We actually should be Weirdly, we should be rooting as a human race for Godzilla. Yes because Zilla goes to sleep Yeah, that's true. I'm not gonna get done I mean, well, that is the plot of most Godzilla movies after the original Godzilla is a new monster comes and they have to convince Godzilla to kill a lot to help out with them because yeah, like remember Geiger, the three headed monster that took Godzilla and Mothra. So if we're allowing the xenomorphs to arrive with multiple people is Mechagodzilla not in play because Mechagodzilla was made by man. I think we can only, I think we can allow in Mothra because in the past God's, I don't

know if Godzilla Mechagodzilla, didn't they build Mechagodzilla to fight Godzilla? I think so. And I know there was this incredible Godzilla comic book that came out a couple of years ago in which they did build Mechagodzilla to go up against Godzilla. I think they did. But in the movies, in Godzilla vs. Ghidra, the three-headed monster. Godzilla and Mothra did work together as a team. So I think if we're going to allow Godzilla to have a teammate in any time, in any point, it's got to be Mothra. And how about Kong? That Kong and Godzilla are natural enemies.

But not anymore. They're fucking buddy cops in the new movie. It's going to be amazing. But we're not there yet. Yeah. We're not there yet. Because remember,'re not, we're not there yet. Cause remember we're talking 1954 Godzilla. So this is and Godzilla, you know, we'll do Kong's doing much against a bunch of xenomorphs either. Next year we'll bring in even more real life guys. Like maybe next year what we'll do is we'll go small. And this is the big one. This is the big one. Yeah. This is King Ghidorah. That was Godzilla mode. No wait. That was the 1991

There's so many Godzilla. Yeah, cuz I think I think I'm so like what does he get to have so I guess it's Unsleeve it's an army of xenomorphs with Godzilla and the human and Human armed forces across the globe. Yeah, like let's say that's what it is. If it's a war for the very planet Earth itself. But Godzilla might kill the humans even if they're on Godzilla side. But eventually Godzilla quits and goes home. Yeah. That is true. Godzilla will. Because Godzilla help Godzilla. Godzilla definitely does give up. Like that's the thing Godzilla does after a little because he gets tired He gets tired. He goes back to the water

He rests and then he comes back, but that's the thing by the time he comes back the xenomorphs will have completely Annihilated the forces of humankind unless we use our arsenal Against the xenomorphs if we nuke the xenomorphs or we will Godzilla Godzilla stronger If we nuke the Xenomorphs, we'll make Godzilla stronger. If we nuke Godzilla, he does that thing where he blows up like in Godzilla minus one. Yeah. Godzilla could beat the Xenomorph army. If you superpower Godzilla. If he got the ray off with good aim and take out the mama, you got to take out the mama because the mama's the hardest one. Yeah. I think Godzilla has a chance, but I'm an army of xenomorphs just seems so unstoppable to me. It really seems the same. I mean, they've conquered world after world after world. Yeah. But have they ever had the power of Bill Pullman doing a speech at the front of everybody?

You know, being like, you guys ready to kill some aliens today and everyone's like, yeah. Yeah. And then you have the fucking again, SEAL team six. Oh, SEAL team six is going to fucking just get absolutely murdered. I'm just saying they're there. Yeah. Cause I mean, remember like, cause remember, I mean SEAL team six, I mean, if you want to do like a side battle, SEAL team six versus the space Marines, I think the space Marines take it No, or the space Marines are in this story. Well, back as so what's this final decision guys?

What's this decision because I know it's difficult and we've added a lot of factors that we're not there where to begin with We have not I I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with xenomorphs Yeah, well, of course. Oh, it would eat it. Yeah, but we got it. Well, of course. Godzilla would eat it. Yeah, but we got it. I mean, Godzilla is Godzilla. We got a handicap Godzilla. Yeah. I think, yeah, I think, unfortunately, we do have to handicap Godzilla.

I think that an army of Godzilla, if we're not helping, they beat Godzilla. If Mechagodzilla is with Godzilla, I don't think the Xenomorphs could take out Mechagodzilla. No. I think the Xenomorphs can climb. I think the Xenomorphs... Well, how long before we get Mechagodzilla, and you would just have to out Mechagodzilla. No. I think the God, I think the Xenomorphs can climb. I think the Xenomorphs, how long before we get Mechagodzilla? And you would just have to include Mechagodzilla next time. I think the Xenomorphs would more easily be Mechagodzilla because they could just climb up and swarm Mechagodzilla and they could rip off whatever hatched, or the protective armor. Yeah, whatever hatch that lets the humans in and they just

go and devour the humans. I think they take down Mechagodzilla easier. Oh yeah, they're good at getting in spaceships and shit. They're really good at getting in whatever hatch that lets the humans in and they just go and devour the humans. I think they take down Michael and got there easier. Oh yeah, they're good at getting in spaceships and shit. They're really good at getting in shit. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, you can't keep a xenomorph out. Mothra would, I think, propose a bit of a challenge for them. So did the xenomorphs win?

I think the xenomorphs win. Wow, hit the music! Oh my God, xenomorphs taking it with the championship! Absolutely! The Clip Betty is flying! Oh, Xenomorphs taking it with the championship. And absolutely. The cut Betty is flying. Stunning Thursday. I can't believe it.

Xenomorphs take it off. The Xenomorphs, they were one of the favorites in the beginning. And I think that they're going to be taking over the entire planet. And sometime next month, you and your entire family will be wearing a face hugger. That's right, that is the nail in the coffin.

Oh, I gotta say is I welcome our new Xenomorph Lords, and may I please serve you in any way possible. Unfortunately, the Xenomorphs have no use for any species besides themselves. Their only goal is to kill, kill, kill, and I think that's gonna be the future that we all have to look forward to Hey, I've got a cavernous butthole ready for your eggs. So come on down Wimbledon mass of juices and meet my beautiful wife and family man. Imagine all the xenomorphs that would pile on a Godzilla Shit show, but what a fun afternoon it has been

fellas oh it's time for a word from our sponsor hi are you a bunch of birds wow really great really fun yeah really fun. I think we all learned a lot. We really did. We learned so much about birds. A lot about birds. Hey, man, they made it past the first round. They really did. And I did not expect the birds to make it. When you first suggested the birds, I didn't expect the birds to make it past the first round. This is like when Texas tech like made it to the end. We were like, Oh my God. Like we met anytime Texas tech makes it past the first round. Everyone is really end. We were like, oh my fucking God. Like we met anytime Texas Tech

makes it past the first round, everyone is really excited. But you know, when they made it to the end, that was really incredible. Well, really good work guys. This is great. Next week, we're going to be back with another in depth series that I think what I like about this one is that it's a classic that it's going to make you a worse person. Yeah, it really is going to be a more obnoxious person at the end of this, of it, which I'm really excited for. I'm excited for.

Yeah, I'll give you a hint. Okay. Snakes. Ha ha ha ha. We'll see him more animals in this one. All right, go to patreon.com slash slash podcast and left. If you wanna see us sweating this little room and you can see it, you've joined it, You see us live. We've got a bunch of other

new stuff coming down the pipe. You're going to love it. I got a brand new interview with devil, the real life superhero. Yeah. That's incredible. Inspiring, inspiring. People are saying, which is very funny. Then we got, go check out twitch.tv slash LPN TV. We just did the tears of a clown meat special. We're going to have a sandwich off over the summer. Oh, yeah summer ham Yeah, we've decided and the rules for that is that we eat each eat sandwiches until one of us have a heart attack The first one the goal is the first one of our attack wins. Oh, yeah And then we go into check out LPN deep dives dune. I it's on our main feed Yeah, it is the new review on to the main feed, but also go check it out. Dune too is a good.

It's incredible. And don't forget to follow us on the social media. That would be on our TikTok and our Instagram at LP on the left. We're going to be putting a lot of really cool stuff on our Patreon here coming soon. We've been filming a lot of behind-the-scenes footage this week, and we're gonna be putting that on Patreon here very, very soon. We can't wait for y'all to see it, and to get a little peek into the lives of the LPN crew and how we run this fucking thing. Yeah.

It's been such a cool week at the office, by the way. We had everyone come in from out of town. We had Jake in. Maddie and Michelle, Ken, shout out to all of them for coming out to LA and making the office a fun place It's so fun. I love being here. I like and it's nice. It feels like we got new energy in new direction Yeah, we're having a good time. So hell sweet say on Huggie. Hail Ripley Fuck yeah, I once saw a live like a screening of aliens and Sigourney Weaver showed up and was just incredible. She is a person. She must be gorgeous. She is a presence, like an absolute presence.

And when a fucking nerd asked her an alien versus predator question, the withering stare I think her answer was I have absolutely no interest in answering that question. I'm sorry. And it wasn't mean like everyone agreed with her in the room. It was absolutely. Yeah. She is a, a, an angelic presence and she's going to take over for Richard Attenborough when he dies. You watch. I'm calling it now. Well, she already did the planet earth. Yeah.

All right. Bye everybody. Bye. Bye. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Heynetwork.com.