Last Podcast On The Left - Relaxed Fit: True Crime Round-Up - Murder & Onions

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

The boys settle down for one more True Crime Round-Up before next week's Heavy Hitter series to bring you a slew of true crime stories that'll make your stomach churn... Mother of Michigan school shooter Ethan Crumbley found guilty of manslaughter, the Colorado pastor who says God told him to steal $1.3 million from followers in Crypto Scheme, a Gold Star Update from Georgia as new findings show that hospital tried to cover-up decapitation of newborn baby, Indiana man murders wife - blames it on argument over onions, Utah woman blames fatal double hit-and-run on "uncontrollable defecation", Murder manifesto found in home of N.J. man charged with murder of former classmate, and MORE!

Hi. Did you know that you can watch Last Podcast on the Left and Side Stories on our Patreon right now? Yes, that's patreon.com slash lastpodcastsontheleft. But over on TikTok, you can see the hottest, tightest, funniest clips from the show right there. It's TikTok. TikTok. It's at LP on the left. It's the same as our Instagram. You already follow the Instagram. Why don't you go follow TikTok? But it's at LP on the left. It's the same as our Instagram. You already follow the Instagram. Why don't you go follow TikTok?

But it's on TikTok. Yeah, because seeing is believing. Yep. So just go check it out. Watch it. Go send our podcast to China. I love TikTok the crocodile. It's my favorite TikTok.

It's the only one he knows. There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot mess. On the left. Right on your glade. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Oh, yeah!

Yes. It's I, Henry Zabrowski. Here within the void. Oh! Oh! Is this mysterious? It would be mysterious if the listeners could see you. Oh!

I'm in the same exact studio where they filmed the moon landing. That's right. Yeah, apparently they filmed the moon landing in Atlanta, where Henry Zebrowski is recording from right now. Welcome to the Last Podcast on the left. I'm Marcus Parks here with Ed Larson in Los Angeles, where nothing fake is ever filmed. Oh, my God.

Except for the boobies. Except for the boobies. Except for the boobies and some of the butts. It is kind of funny. If you see in the video version, I'm wearing a black shirt too, so I sort of look like, do you remember Mum and Shantz? No, I don't know what Mum and Shantz is. Remember Mum and Shantz?

From the 1970s where they would do like puppet things on real television where they would do a lot of like, it's like, I just look i feel like i'm in haozu yeah i know what you're talking about i didn't know it had a name though you never you don't know mum and chance well i don't want to fucking know you anymore i can't believe you just describe things by going oh if you knew mum and chants if the audience knows mum and chants then they know what I'm doing

it's disembodied head and hands it reminds me of Labyrinth the guys whose heads would go up and down and they started playing basketball with them yeah that's fun well this week we got a true crime roundup for everyone I know we have been pre crime roundup for everyone.

I know we have been prepping you guys for doing a huge series and we are just about to do two massive series. And we actually just got off a call where we have planned out the next year of gut busting content. Yeah. For you pieces of shit. All right. But right now I'm here, man. I'm working on a pile. You fucking pieces of shit. All right, but right now I'm here, man. I'm working on a pilot. You fucking pieces of shit. And I'm here.

That's Henry speaking. I like you. I'm breaking my back on a pilot presentation right now where I have to fake playing soccer. How's that going? I am sore. And I got hit with the ball yesterday. How's that going? I am sore. And I got hit.

I got hit with the ball yesterday. How many times? Once. Yeah. Well, you're a goalie, right? Yeah. You're not even doing the hardest. You're supposed to get hit.

Yeah. I asked them after I got hit once to please be careful with me because we're playing against, it's a bunch of actors playing against a real soccer team. And so the guy uncorked on me before we do. And it just hit me right in the chest. Also I'm wearing like full body armor underneath my goalie uniform. And then another goalie came in and he wasn't wearing any of that. And I was like, I don't understand. Cause I have like knee guards on, I got hip guards on. I got a chest plate that I'm wearing.

You're precious. I am. I can't be hurt. Remember, every time they kick, you say the words not in the face. Not in the face. Not in the face. But it's been a lot of fun. We're having a good time.

It's me, Rory Scovel, and Dave Willis, and we're enjoying ourselves. That's awesome. that sounds wonderful um but you know who's also a little fucking bitch is that jennifer crumbly yeah jennifer crumbly is this is one hell of a story i'm not sure if you've uh been following this one but there was a school shooting in michigan uh in 2021 this kid killed four people and he killed them with a gun, a handgun that had been gifted to him by his parents. Oh, like the roof.

Somewhat, yeah. And he had, of course, he was taken alive and he was charged. He found guilty, life in prison without possibility of parole. But for the first time, they also charged the mother

uh with and the father and the father his the mother has been tried the father's trial is coming up with involuntary manslaughter because they were the ones who gave the kid the gun despite seeing many signs that he was mentally unstable and she has been found guilty of involuntary manslaughter good now this is huge though because it's i understand as a parent of a two willful dogs it's hard to be held responsible for the actions of a chihuahua right like carmy carmy's aggressive but carmy also the same time is is loving i know her i know carmy and i want the world to know carmy you know i mean but if carmy kept sending me letters from the groomer that said stuff like i think of blood

i dream of death all i want to do is kill kill kill kill kill first of all kind of cute she's learned to write second of all it's like you would want to do something and in this case what we're seeing uh is this like kind of like the reason why it's unprecedented is because who wants to be held responsible for the actions of others because you know no one's really technically responsible for anybody else's life that's how it fucking works but like this this idea of like it was so over the line how much ethan crumbly was asking them for help. Like other kids, like we've seen other kid school shooters. It seems so a lot of times it's like, yes, there is some planning, but a lot of it is

pretty, it's in the moment and it's a hidden thing. It's like they're not telling people. You know, like Ethan Crumbly like showed his mom his journal saying, I want help. He texted her again and again and again saying, I'm seeing demons. I'm seeing visions. I'm seeing the shit. He's telling his teachers like I want to kill and no one is. And they're telling them.

But even though Jennifer Crumbly says that she'd never heard from the school. Well, he got caught searching online for bullets at school. He would watch shooting videos in class and he would draw violent images like the school knew something was up and they were contacting her of course they were contacting her and her saying that her defense of him telling her that like i see demons blah blah they said it was a cute inside joke amongst the family that the house was haunted. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. How old was he when he did the deed?

He was 15. Yeah, no. Lock her up, lock him up, and then start going. And now that they have done this and she is guilty, they need to go after fucking Dylann Roof's stepdad. And this is an actual way to go after fucking dylan roof stepdad yeah you know and you this is the this is an actual way to start stopping this shit yeah to really go after the parents who give them

the guns yeah but you need a chain of evidence you need to have the backup to put it through a trial so the one thing that this case has that no other cases really had up to this point is fucking it's all in writing and like you're looking at jennifer crumbly who like the way the prosecution set it up was essentially she was too busy getting railed in order to watch after her son she described herself as a helicopter parent but then all of a sudden she's talking about how like she's got to go visit her horses three times a week the horses got more one-on-one time yeah with jennifer crumbly then her murderous son and then she uh she started she had an affair going on with some other guy who looked like i mean she looks like elmer fudd but this other guy looks like a guy that would fuck Elmer Fudd.

These guys are... But then she was on Adult Friend Finder setting up all these, like, trysts and doing all this. She had a lot of energy for her cooch, but she didn't have a heck of a lot of energy for her son. Man, so she...

People are actually on Adult Friend Finder? Oh, yeah, buddy. No, it is real. I'm sure it happens. I feel like them saying that there are definitely local MILFs trying to fuck you tonight. People get divorced. You know?

That is true. There are definitely horny singles in my area, technically. There are. I didn't think they would be on Adult Friend Finder. That's so crazy she calls herself a helicopter parent. I always thought the worst helicopter parent was Kobe Bryant. I can't believe that you would do that on this fucking show. I can't believe I'm here in Los Angeles. How far away is the land of Kobe?

You would ever say something like that i'm in atlanta my name's henry's appraisal no we know it's it's it's really fucked because i mean at least she wasn't on child friend finder because that's really and then she get rid of that app but the adult friend finder stuff is very like it just shows that her her head was not in the game but in the end her her defense attorney was one of the single worst attorneys i have ever seen i watched all hours of the trial yeah she quoted her first line was quoting taylor swift she then came in and she openly would weep. She, she pretended to gag when they showed footage of the shooting. She openly wept on in trial, which is like,

you just, they, they instruct their clients to show no emotion. And that's why they pump you full of like Xanax and Valium. Yeah. Yeah, man, that's gotta be fun.

I would definitely be all Xanied up. Oh yeah. Yeah. Xanied the nanny would be all over me. I would definitely be all Zanny'd up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Zanny the nanny would be all over me. I would definitely be circling. But I also feel it's hard because then you look at, you remember the, it was the documentary, I believe it was about Adam Lanza's mom. Or you have the other side where they really don't know what the fuck to do when they got a kid that's like i hate to use the term born bad yeah but a kid that's coming out of the coming out of the fucking oven with some misfiring wires

yeah like and then what do you do then like can you control the every day every single day actions of a child they're still like an adult they're still an autonomous human being you can control how many guns you keep in your house yeah i think that's the thing i think that's a big question that's all like what can we do it's like maybe make it so a 15 year old can't easily shoot a bunch of people with a semi-automatic gun and didn't lanza kill his mom yeah she killed her first yeah he killed her first and then went out to Sandy Hook. That should have been enough warning for this bitch. I'm sorry to make you call her that, man. I'm just mad about the situation.

But I think that it was from the perspective of another woman writing about a kid with these types of emotional issues. But this is a woman that was working her ass off trying to help it. Meanwhile ethan crumbly was begging for help to everyone that would listen to him and because again like sometimes that's what a parent's supposed to do a parent's supposed to come in and not be your friend in my mind i don't know they're supposed to like sometimes it'd be cool if you could like you know bum a cigarette or drink a beer with your dad or whatever but i also think that you at the same time yeah i don't know i never got to do that

with my father my father had a problem with alcohol yeah yeah yeah no you shouldn't be if your kid is begging for help you shouldn't be meeting a guy named brian malochi in the costco parking lot to fuck him during daylight hours that's where you think about that's where the affair was happening. Yeah. Six months meeting up in the Costco parking lot to fuck in the car. Man, that guy must've had a big dick,

you know, because of Costco. You're going to get hungry after sex. You fuck, you go inside, you get a hot dog, 10 pounds of peanut butter. Oh yeah.

Every single time I go to get the good discount land from a Costco, I get hard just thinking about it from a pavlov dog like memory of of me coming each time i'm at costco yeah we'll go get kirk landed i'll be back soon all right well that's one horrible story of the week how long is she looking at like because obviously they didn't sentence her yet. It would be counts of involuntary manslaughter. I'm

not exactly sure. It's got to be at least five years. She's getting one for each victim. She's getting one for each four of the four people that died in the shooting. She is getting each one. Great new precedent. I totally believe in this. Yeah. I believe in this as well. Oh yeah. Keep

fucking guns out of children's hands. Yeah. If you have a mental... That's that easy. Yeah. Just keep guns out of kids' hands and if you put a gun in a kid's hand and he kills someone, you're held responsible. Yes. My question is though, I do understand there are some families that like to hunt animals and have that kind of stuff.

Like, I don't know. You get a lock for your gun closet. But that's the thing. That, I don't know. You get a lock for your gun closet. But that's the thing. That's a part of what the prosecution was saying is that the guns were not properly kept, obviously. Yeah. They were not, you know, like the father was like, I put that gun location in a new place each day. One time it was in the freezer next to the ice cream.

The other day it was next to the Wi-Fi router. And the other day. Hold on, I can't remember. Where the hell was it? Oh, it was in Ethan's hands.Fi router. And the other day. Hold on. I can't remember. Where the hell was it? Oh, it was in Ethan's hands. A lot of times I keep it in his bed. No, if you're, I come from a hunting family and there were guns around all the time. Yeah.

But that's the thing is that if your kid starts acting twitchy, put the guns away. Amen. Get rid of, you know, give the guns to your friend Bill. Yeah. Just give your guns to your friends. Like, hey, why don't you hold on to the guns for. Amen. Give the guns to your friend Bill. Yeah. Just give your guns to your friends. Like, hey, why don't you hold on

to the guns for a while? You know, Brian's acting a little twitchy. Yes. Marcus. Everyone would be happy to do it. Were you not twitchy?

Not that twitchy. So the guns were never thought of being taken away from you at any point. No one ever looked at you because... Yeah, but you're

digging dirt. You're writing poetry. You're talking about noise point. No one ever looked at you. Because you're digging dirt. You're writing poetry. You're talking about noise rock. No, I certainly didn't hold on to a gun for a very long time. One deep, dark night. Hell yeah. Jesus Christ.

In high school. Who didn't? Who didn't do that? You guys all did that. I mean, it was more of a dramatic thing for myself than it was for anything else but you know it was dramatic effect my father honestly was very good with his gun yeah he did he did um and i was largely scared of it as a kid as you should be what's funny though is that that gun was just like that gun that night was when i was away from home working construction,

doing journeyman construction for a summer before my senior year in high school. And I don't remember where the gun came from. The gun was just in the house where I was staying at the time. I was just a free-floating gun. There are so many guns in this country. Lock them up! It's kind of like the Bible in a hotel room in Texas.as where they just have been like now you could use that gun but no we're gonna charge the room if you don't come back with it no it was a house i was written with two other dudes and that was just a gun there

yeah there was a bible and there was a gun shaped hole in it but no the guns were always just out and about you know there was a gun room but i wouldn't call it a gun safe it was just the gun room where there were many many guns but they were hunting guns you know like they were all like shotguns rifles stuff like that yeah but no like i mean this is before the days of ar-15 this is the 90s so yeah exactly everything actually had a purpose yeah i could have done some damage but not that much damage yeah know, at least you didn't have a bullet library. No. Because I feel like that's how you know if it's bad.

I feel like it's not so much the guns as it's the bullets. Also, where you were, there were, like, no people. Yeah, I mean, I... There's, like, no one to kill. If I wanted to, if I wanted to, I could have had a day. You could have killed a bunch of people i could have today because remember we were high school during columbine oh yeah i was in student council during columbine that shit was crazy how did being in student council affect your the columbine experience

well they like took student council aside the day after columbine and they like sat us down with a bunch of counselors and like you're the leaders of the school you need to find out like if anyone's acting funny and then like some kid I remember some kid no one knew a weird drifter type kid he had he brought he wore a long trench coat the next day and he stood up on a table during the uh cafeteria and he said uh trench coat mafia motherfuckers something like that that And then a bunch of the black kids kicked his ass Gotcha And that's called a self-correcting ecosystem And that's what you need to do

That's what each community needs I remember I was in a play And our play was cancelled Because it had a bomb in it And then we got to be on Morning television talking about Our first amendment rights Because I remember being there and being with my beret Abominate. And then we got to be on morning television talking about our First Amendment rights. Because I remember being there

and being with my beret. Literally, I wore my beret because I was the president. No, that was before I was president. But I was starting doing my affectation period. And I remember being there and just being like, It is not fair

that you would not allow us freedom of expression. It was just a stupid play. It had a bomb in it. I don't know why it was canceled. It's not like you wrote it. Yeah. It's like Neil Simon or something.

It barely registered in Rochester, Texas. I remember it happening, and I was like, wow, that's weird. And then just, day went on. Not good. Oklahoma City, that was our big one. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

The Oklahoma City bombing. That was our, yeah, because we weren't too far from Oklahoma. So that was our big one. I remember that was the last time I ever talked to my grandmother. Was she in the building? No. I was randomly homesick from school or something, day of Oklahoma City. And she called and I picked up and we had a nice long conversation conversation it was like the last like truly one of the only conversations i remember

with her wow so you connect you connect the oklahoma city bombing with your favorite conversation with your grandmother you're like hey it's right nanu oh yeah nanu had some really controversial opinions about Waco. Oh, yeah. It's different. Yeah, she calls it Satanist, I believe. But you just say that you're like, do you know that? Or was that just...

Oh, yeah, yeah. She was into witchcraft and shit like that. But I, you know, I didn't learn too much. Yeah, because she was out of my life by the time I was 10. So my memories are a little hazy. That's cool. She was a fucker, but she wasn't my real grandmother. She was the woman my grandfather married.

Wow. Baba. What a bitch. That's a dance floor. Fly from your grave. Hello! Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you. See how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich?

Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub, but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the brighter side podcast is for you. Oh, yeah. Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb, stinky, no good, doodoo factory, boo, caca

like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right! So start your weekend off right every Friday with The Brighter Side on The Last Podcast Network. You beautiful babies.

All right, let's get into this. I want to talk about this pastor. You got this roll up on this show. I want to get into this story. I love this story so much. A Colorado pastor who was charged with stealing more than $1 million from his Christian community in a cryptocurrency scheme has admitted to the fraud but argued that God instructed him to carry it out. He's not wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course God wants crypto.

Something else you can't see or feel. Just have faith that it'll be worth something. If we believe that it has worth, then it will be worth something. It's transubstantiation. It works. We did an interview with Paul Hynek, that is J. Allen Hynek's son. And he was all about this concept that if aliens existed, they definitely use crypto. And he was working on this alien based crypto for a long time.

And it has just as much water as this guy's fucking Christian crypto. Eli Regalado and his wife, Caitlin, are charged with creating and selling their cryptocurrency known as index coin that's indx in all caps coin to christians based in their hometown of denver allegedly telling would-be investors that the lord had told him people would become rich if they invested you got to believe there's something about putting an x in the middle of a name without any vowels around it. It's like NXIVM, all the index like if there's a big X in there, beware. Stay away. It's like it's telling you.

It is just like Twitter becoming X. It's like, stay away. Exactly. The state flag of Alabama. Big X. And beg it, bye. Go away. It's poison. Stay away from the X's. Man, it's that idea of from the exes but man it's the this that idea of like you had the opportunity to do that you know like on top of jesus it had the i'm nailed right in initials oh

well i'm nailed right in i've never thought about that yeah that's nice you know that's a joke that's just a whole joke i never heard the joke before yeah i've never heard that joke did you write it no i don't think so i'm pretty certain that i read that from some dirty joke book back in the day but inri coin would have been huge yeah inri coin would have been great no index coin index coin was by the way practically worthless in reality prosecutors said in the statement investors lost millions of dollars while the regalados used their investments for lavish living. In a video statement about the charges, Eli admitted that the couple had squandered $1.3 million that was raised through cryptocurrency. Here's a quote from a video. The charges are that me and Caitlin pocketed $1.3 million. I just wanted to come out and say those charges are true.

That's fucking awesome. That's just like, I love that. I love that you- I can't tell a lie. I physically can't. He doubled down so hard. He said a few hundred thousand dollars went to a home remodel that the Lord told us to do.

Yeah, man. He said, we took God at his word and sold a cryptocurrency with no clear exit. But he still believes that God will, quote, work a miracle in the financial sector. Yeah, well, God loves carpenters. We know this. We know that carpenters work.

Maybe God doesn't understand What a blockchain is as well Maybe God decided Crypto sounds like a thing That we could put some disposable income in It's just a sea If it rises in worth And then as soon as it happens

He's like, oh, I always should have known Crypto is fake money Is that God speaking? Yes Can't be talking like this Hey, hi Crypto is fake money Is that God speaking? Yes See I always figured Can't be talking like this Hey hi Hey everybody

Hey it's me hi Hey sent my son down Down to his dick Bye bye Oh I get him again Thank you for killing my son So you imagine God to sound vaguely like Prince. Yes.

Which makes a lot of sense. He's a prince. Oh, yeah. Very much so. He's a Jehovah's Witness. Yeah. And tiny. So God is a tiny Jehovah's Witness from Minnesota.

But very powerful. So this is what I find interesting is that they raised, though, they did make $3.2 million. So they left some. That's kind of nice. Well, they could give it of nice they could give it back they could give it back no no no no you're excommunicated

just even for fucking thinking that what's incredible is that they got 3.2 million dollars from just 300 people like these people had some rich fucks on the line i mean if you're stealing from rich people i don't really care yeah but if i can be honest yeah well who knows

or it's the idea it's kind of sometimes you wonder are they rich or they just giving them everything that they have that's usually the case yeah you'll you'll find again and again when it's when you get that sort of thing it's usually people betting their entire life savings on and like people to the church especially like people will just give every cent they have to the church thinking it's good first of all they feel guilty they put so much guilt on them to not give to the church yeah my mom was like this she would like borrow money from me and then give it to the church and it would make me fucking insane yeah you know and so it's just like it's people do this all over the country and it's just like because they believe the more they give the more chance they have a big going to heaven and these and these are the like all of

these small online churches that are this is one of those they've been popping up especially after covid so many of them popped up twin flames is like a a pretty big example of it but this is just called the victorious grace church there's no physical location for it uh they uh it's an online only church and it's just these two people in front of fucking in a zoom and they really god that's so smart yeah no overhead do this we don't even need rent pay rent anymore nothing it's so smart, man. We need to return to church. What will these churches do with the entire church?

Real estate market's going to collapse unless we start forcing these pastors to return to the pulpit. $1.3 million out of that $3.2 million was used for personal

luxury purchases, including jewelry, a pricey home renovation project, which I mentioned before, and an au pair. Oh, really? An au pair? Is it au pair?

I think it's au pair. Yeah, an au pair. They hired an au pair. I mean, so to take care of their children, I guess? To take care of their children, yeah. And to fuck him. Well, that's why they're called an au pair. And additionally, they had no experience with cryptocurrency.

Of course. A third party auditor also said the index coin code had significant technical problems, whatever the fuck that means. I don't know. But the Regalados continued to market the cryptocurrency as a low risk, high reward option. Regalados continued to market the cryptocurrency as a low risk, high reward option. Eli had claimed to investigators that an amount of the raised money would be used to help widows and orphans. But those purported payments were also personally spent by the Regalados. Oh, come on. At least help the widows and the orphans.

No. No. Why? Why? You mean suckers and losers? No. She needs a breakfast nook yeah oh yeah those widows you know where they are adult friend finder exactly if you want to find a recently a recently widowed

woman who is going to slob that fucking dick man yeah and index coin and they also had their own exchange where index coin was exclusively available, the Kingdom Wealth Exchange. Actually, I want to see if the Kingdom Wealth Exchange is their own personal exchange, or maybe that's an exchange that is exclusively Christian-based cryptocurrency. Oh, my God. That would be amazing. It was on X.

IndexCoin.com is still out it's still there you just found the perfect utility coin designed with your future in mind it's a is your digital pass to a vibrant community and exclusive content designed to help you create wealth discover your purpose and build the life you long for what you'll find interesting is that none of the on the website it has no christian iconography no it is, it is very blank. So this is like a kind of tried to maybe get secular people involved as well. So maybe that was some of these people that was in there. And there's also something about the font that you can tell that it's Christian.

You know what I mean? Yeah. It doesn't have a lot of style and taste. Just looks like Bible font. style and taste just looks like bible font also like how do these guys get these haircuts where it's just all the hair is on the very very tip of their skull yeah oh like right you see him like look at his hair if you look at if you look on the kingdom wealth exchange facebook page this guy like how do you get that little poof i think that's fake i think that's can hair you think so you think it's spraying on?

Yeah like that looks like a little Like little tuft Yeah the tuft is hard Ah yeah you remember Ziggy? Oh yeah yeah that's fake It could be a front wig It could be a lace staple gunned in there Yeah

It could be a front wig although I will you know speak For our you know fellow peanut Headed men out there. It's tough with the hair sometimes. Oh, my God. It's really tough having a peanut head and finding a good hairstyle for you. You say you're... I don't think you're a peanut head.

I feel like I'm a pretty solid peanut head. What do you mean by a peanut head? You mean like long, like cylindrical? It's small and somewhat long. Yeah, and it dips in the middle so there's a two a top and a bottom to it yeah i see i don't i don't see you as a peanut head i think you do have a smallish head yeah but so do i you have a tiny head for sure yeah i definitely isn't a bad thing it's not a bad thing now yeah yeah you should i mean i couldn't when i had long hair i couldn't

keep a hat on but that was the reason why i used to uh have long hair is because the long hair uh made my head look larger it fluffed it out but now that i'm thinning i can know i had to let go of the long hair fantasy i got a big head but my neck dude is big coma to the side coma to the side eddie's the only man i've ever met that you i have to go to the big and tall store to get him a fucking like hat like he can wear a man's clothes you can buy a normal man's clothes but you have to buy him a water buffalo's hat yeah that's why i like the ones with the snapbacks because they really like glue to my head and then it won't fly off it's nice yeah it's a fucking massive head yeah thank you it's so big yeah man but like i said the neck

that's that's the real honey. Yeah, that's your problem there. Well, you were working. That was for football. That's what made you good at football. Yeah, my father used to strap weight. He had this strap that would go to my head and there was a chain to the strap and he put weights in the chain and he would make me lift my head up and down. And so my neck just stayed huge

my whole life. That's awesome. Credible. Man, I would say the opposite. No, I mean incredible in. I would say the opposite. No, I mean, incredible in the true sense of the word. It is not credible. It's incredible. Nothing credible about it. 21 inch neck. Jesus Christ. Damn, dude.

We gotta get you some custom shirts. If I wanna wear a tie, I have to have a custom shirt. Or I go to the big and tall store and I have to just wear a giant shirt because that's the only one that has a neck big enough for me. You know, Destination XL is nice and they kind of flirt with you. Please. Let's go. By the way, this the financial accounts of the pastor and his wife have officially been frozen.

Yes. Yeah, they are. They are out on the street right now. Down with pastors, up with pastor. Oh, yeah. I love an El Pastor. Oh, sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. What's your favorite pastor in Los Angeles?

Because I've been looking for something. I need a hookup, man. I need something new. Sure. We got a bit of an update to one of the most horrifying stories i think we've ever covered on a true crime roundup henry do you remember the story of the decapitated baby oh yeah all right okay there's a story that we covered last year uh in which a woman was giving birth, and the doctor somehow,

after being too forceful trying to pull the baby out, decapitated the baby in the middle of the birth. Oh, my God. Yes. They must have been using salad sporks. Yeah, it was the crampons. You know what was difficult? This is your life.

This is too much for me. I try to joke around, but this is horrible. So what happened? They found the rest of it? Yay, it slid out. The one thing was that, it's strange that now they're calling it a homicide. Where it was like, what did you think before? That like her vagina was so strong that it would just snip.

No, it would be whether or not it was an accident. But that is. No, but that is that that's the whole thing is that it is now being ruled for the longest time to like, is this an accident? Is this malpractice? Like, how are we going to try? Like a crime has been committed here. But what crime are we going to charge them with? And the doctor has officially not the death has been ruled a homicide well

he's gonna get off then because obviously he didn't fucking cut this child's head off on purpose you know involuntary involuntary manslaughter involuntary manslaughter that's an easier charge much easier charge yeah i think so he'll get off on the homicide. did is they said that they took the corpse away and they were sitting there in another room with a body and a head and they're staring and i'm like what the fuck are we gonna do nurse nurse uh nurse mcgillicuddy i need you to get me some glue and and i am going to need a hot tape oh maybe we can hold it together with some p pipe or some toothpicks. God, man, that must have been terrifying. Well, what they did eventually is they thought like, okay, let's just wrap it up real tight in some blankets. There is no bluff that's going to cover this.

There is no escapade that is going to make this work. There's no, the disorderlies aren't going to come in there the fat boys aren't showing up the fat boys can't solve and like you know like they can't do that and then you can they can't wrap their way out of it no no they really can't so what they did is they just wrapped it up tight enough where the head would stay in place and they're like yeah there's your baby unfortunately it died you need to cremate this baby as soon as possible yeah like they just they kept pushing like cremation cremation cremation don't do an autopsy don't do an autopsy yeah i would have been saying the same thing they literally jammed it in a blanket and let and balance the head on the top of it and just cinched it up like it was a burrito.

And so what did she unwrap it and find out what happened? No, it says during this viewing that their baby was wrapped tightly in a blanket with his head propped on top of his body in a manner such that those viewing him could not identify that he had been decapitated. manner such that those viewing him could not identify that he had been decapitated. Healthcare providers allegedly encouraged the mother and father to have their son cremated instead of being sent to a funeral home for burial. It was only on July 13th, several days after the delivery and the day after Ross left the hospital that staff told them about the decapitation. We're going to let it settle down for a second. Like, we don't really need to rush into all this.

Like, we could sit and think about this. What is a decapitation anyway? Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like it was the doctor's first delivery. No. You know? I mean, this is like clearly

like a problem. It's not a purpose. No. This guy says investigator Betty Honey and director of... Ooh, that's a great name. Betty Honey.

Yeah, it's cool. And director of the medical examiner's Office, Brian Byers, consulted with experts including one OBGYN who had done more than 9,000 deliveries and they found that the death should not

have happened. Yeah. The death should not have happened. The hospital distanced itself. At what level that it should have happened? Who is going to be like exactly as ordered thank you very much does insurance cover baby decapitation sometimes you can't help but decapitate a baby so like i i'm trying to wrap this around my head uh unlike just like the nurses and i i'm just like did they just did he just pull so hard? He pulled so, yeah.

The head came off? Fractured dislocation with complete transection, upper cervical spine and spinal cord. Damn. This is because of. It's like a scorpion fatality. Well, it was, the baby was caught in the vaginal canal. Like the baby was caught. They were trying to pull it out.

And it really was like just you know, it just came off. Oh! Does it really work like that? We gotta be careful with these heads. Was it alive? Well, yeah. It was alive. Oh my god!

Oh! You can baby's... Patience! Which is something that doctor doesn'tit patients. Yeah. Which is something that doctor doesn't have anymore. No. Yeah, the hospital distanced itself from the doctor last year saying she was not an employee and only used the facility as the parent's doctor. Wow.

Oh, so she was visiting. She was like a visiting practitioner coming in to handle the delivery yeah and then oh man that's not good it was a woman yeah I would have never guessed yeah a million years is it weird to say is it fucked up to say it's kind of a relief not another mark on men

yeah the arrogance of man no no no no no no no no no don no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, oh, man. God. I feel awful for everybody, man. Yeah. There's no way that this woman did this on purpose. I feel bad for the doctor. Yeah, I really do.

Because the doctor did not know. Well, at least, you know, now, like, this serves as a gentle reminder to each doctor. Heads just pop off sometimes. Yeah. And you really need to be real careful with it. And that's why you got to grab them by the arms. Because if you pop off the arms,. And you really need to be real careful with it and that's why you gotta grab them by the arms because if you pop off the arms,

that's not as bad. Yeah. In my mind. You're right. You're right. Not as bad. Yeah. We both have no choice

but to say you're right. That's why I'm here. Sometimes I make a little bit of sense. All right, well, let's go to a murder that involves some older people. Thank God.

Thank God, because in the end, it's a little better when they're older because they've lived longer. A 60-year-old man in Indiana was arrested over the weekend for killing his girlfriend, allegedly stabbing the woman to death and then setting up the scene to make it appear as though he was acting in self-defense. This guy was bad at it, though. He was still fucking bad.

He was so bad. Charles Michael Calvert was taken into custody on Saturday and charged with one count of murder and the fatal stabbing of marcia linsky according to a probable cause affidavit detained by law and crime officers with the allen county police department uh at about 8 24 p.m on february 3rd responded to a 911 call about a stabbing at a residence the caller identified himself as calvert and allegedly stated that the victim had quote come at Come at me. You come at me with a knife. It was not like that at all. He was very calm and very stoic about the whole thing. She'd come at me with a knife.

Calvert kept saying, she's no longer with us. She's no longer with us. She took a train to Dead Town. She's just not here anymore. What was her is no longer of us anymore. Calvert told dispatch he also had a knife and both knives were still located in the kitchen. He stated that we were having an argument. We were both holding a knife and she came at me. As soon as she turned around, it was no, no1-1 call calvert told the dispatcher that his girlfriend became very quote became very verbal very verbal times and i've talked with natalie about being verbal

these these people that you're with sometimes, they want to talk. And then you're like, you're being verbal with me right now, and I need you to fucking back off. Okay. It's better than being gerbil. Again, I have no choice but to agree. Sure.

They also noted that he sounded very calm throughout the call and had no sense of urgency whatsoever. Upon arriving at the scene, first responders found Calvert outside the home and Linsky dead inside the home. She was lying face down with a big gash on her head and neck area. Investigators also noted that the victim's right thumb was severely cut to the point where it was nearly severed, which was indicative, of course, of a defensive wound. The kitchen appeared to be disheveled with a broken crockpot, bloody kitchen knives,

food items scattered all about. Calvert said that he had been dating the victim for about a year, so the victim got very aggressive. The entire argument, Calvert said, the reason why she became very verbal, the reason why she freaked out, super verbal. He was cutting onions and the victim stated he wasn't doing it correctly. I get it. You know, I've worked in lots of kitchens and you're wasting a bunch of the onion.

You know, like... Do you have any idea how expensive onions are? Thanks, Grandpa Joe. Oh, Mr. Joe with his fucking spike in the onion market. That's why I'm voting for a change in 2024.

You know, if you're going to say that you killed her in self-defense, you can't say you were both holding knives. You got to say, I wasn't holding a knife. I took her knife and I killed her with that knife. I had to kill her with a knife? It's the idea that I'm a little bit responsible, but not all the way responsible.

You know, it's like it's kind of giving it making yourself look a little bit guilty. It's like admitting to the lesser crime so you won't get charged with the bigger crime. Yeah. I beat him up, but I didn't shoot him. That's what I'm saying. Well, you know, you also see a lot of these where they try to throw out an immediate, like, I was defending myself, we were defending ourselves.

It's always like, you know, the very classic, it was some kind of Asian, you know, like, there's always somebody coming in and rushing in and killing everybody and then, like,

just lightly disheveling things and then leaving. Yeah. They don't realize that, you know, you can't, for example, you can't neatly place the knives next to the victim and assume that

everyone's like, oh yeah, this was definitely a fight. Yep. Because they, you know, then he was covered in blood. She wasn't.

He then obviously had washed himself. That was the one thing he came in. That's one of those things, too. If you're going to kill family members, don't answer the door to the cops with wet hair. You know what I mean? Like, don't show up smelling of pert. Oh, yeah.

I feel like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really good. You know what I'm like? Because he was very suspicious. Well, there's just so much that he didn't do i mean authorities said there were no signs that calvert attempted to render aid to linsky after she was fatally wounded additionally while there was an onion peel in the garbage

police said they did not observe a chopped up onion anywhere in the kitchen ah yeah you gotta chop up that onion yeah you can't just say onions they're gonna help you cry when the cops come what would be amazing if that he chopped up the onion but despite his own best efforts he cut it up perfectly because he would not allow himself to cut it up so when he sees these perfectly diced onions in a pile he's like there's no way she would have blown me if she saw how incredible these onions were there's no way she would kill blown me if she saw how incredible these onions were. There's no way she would kill me for this. And then had to throw it all out. I mean, like, the peel's enough. I think they get this door.

Show, not tell. And he did shower and change. He did shower and change after fatally stabbing her. Before the cops got there? Before the cops got there. Did he at least call? You don't want to be a mess? He's like, listen, 911, I'll be in the

shower. Just come right in. I'll leave the door open. She's in the kitchen next to the onions. I just feel a little icky. Yeah. Honestly, I don't like strangers coming to my home

if I'm not clean. Yeah, there you go. I always shower. You're just like this guy. I'm just like him. And he put in these other weird details, I guess, like setting up a defense that maybe that she was planning to kill him. The defendant told the dispatcher, quote, she parked her car outside of the garage. She never parks her car outside.

Yeah, it's suspicious. She bought bleach today she never buys bleach in the year i've been with her she's never bought bleach so his idea knows that i like i have no idea if julie's ever bought bleach or not yeah i've been with carolina eight years no idea but i wouldn't like if she showed up with bleach one day i wouldn't think that's weird she's trying to fucking kill me it's funny she never has a second cup of bleach in the morning it's very strange because yeah because i don't i don't look at nat stuff i don't look at the stuff that she comes in and out of the house but se Sephora bags come in and out. And again, I do want to...

She did tell me when she explained to me about Sephora's forcing her to do that. I'm still waiting for my small claims court process to come through because what they're doing to our household, it's tearing us apart. What Sephora's doing to your household? Forcing my wife to get these items.

She told me in tears in her eyes that Sephora has been forcing this on. Hold on a second. Is she going to the Sephora on Ventura? Cause if she is, that's fucked up. Cause I used to be a great diner called two pars and they had wonderful fucking pancakes and they were open 24 hours a day and then they shut it down.

It wasn't good enough in And they opened a Sephora in the middle of my favorite pancake house. That's fucking horrible. That's what happens. Sorry. It's cold. The pancakes are going all over these B-words faces. Yeah, man. It's called the Carousel of Progress, bro. All right, pancakes were yesterday. Now we're

using pancakes to apply dry powders. Yeah, you tell her she orders online. I don't want her going to that store. She does order online. I think she does. Yeah, after the show, you got to let me know what your new pancake house is.

Oh, they have another two bars at the farmer's market. Yeah, dude, you just fucking, he's so full of shit. Is that a pancake house? Yeah. Well, no, there is like a diner at the farmer's market.

Oh, okay. And they have great pies, too. All right. This is my thing. I'm going to eat pancakes and pie before buying clothes. Honestly, that's actually a really good, funny idea. So you could buy it at your most bloated.

So you're not buying it skinny. Because I feel like that's a big problem with buying clothes sometimes. And sometimes I'm buying clothes when I'm feeling skinny, and then you put them on, and I'm like, oh, I'm actually fat now. Maybe you shouldn't be buying clothes at the farmer's market. Yeah, where the fuck did that come from? What do you mean?

It's a farmer's market. You're talking about at the Grove. It's next to the Grove. I just saw an opportunity to make fun of Henry. Oh, okay. I didn't know because every farmer's market I've ever been to, they weren't selling clothes. There was one down the street.

Sometimes you'll have like an old lady with her wares and she'll make like knit tops or something or she'll make like something that no one wants. Yeah, like a t-shirt that says the chili's in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With an arrow pointing down. All right. Next story.

A woman has been arrested in connection with the deaths of two cyclists who she allegedly hit while driving under the influence Saturday afternoon. But she does have an excuse. This woman said she had medical issues, including uncontrollable defecation, which caused her to hit and kill cyclist brothers participating in a St. George race. Julie Ann Budge, 48, was arrested in 2022 after striking 48-year-old Matthew Bullard and 49-year-old Adam Bullard. Both men died of their injuries. After the incident, Budge told police she had various medical issues and had begun uncontrollably defecating herself without warning, causing her to swerve and hit the brothers. What I love about reporting is that the first time this story was reported, it was just that she was under the influence.

This is a, you know, this is a horrible mistake. She hit these cyclists. It's not until after that she's the information coming, the trials coming up, that it's all about her uncontrollable shitting. And I love that as like because you know that came from that is from her defense yeah it's definitely from her defense yeah because that's i mean that's now like before it's like a tragic accident two brothers kill while cycling and now it's just every single headline uncontrollable defecating uncontrollable defecating did she

have shit in her pants um yes great yeah But she also had fentanyl in her veins. That'll do it. Yep. That was the problem. Yeah. Old budge making her fudge. Hey, some of this budge's fudge is making me sleepy. I always said budge's fudge would get her into trouble one day. I always said fudge is fun to get

her into trouble one day. Fresh from the oven. My ass. Thanks, lady. Now, do you think, like, because she, I don't know if she's going to get away with this. I do think it is, and this is advice to our listeners. I've heard this from

police, truly, that it's one of the only excuse that would get you out of a speeding ticket would be i massively have to shit that's a thing everybody's done it once i was like follow me home and give me a ticket or i'm gonna shit my pants in front of you and it works nice and it does you know like that's different but killing a bunch of people and leaving the scene of the accident i feel like at that point if you if it's much different and if you do do that and then you do have shit in your pants then i think you stay at the scene of the accident and you just keep shitting because if you do that then you can show everyone being like, look, it keeps coming. It's like that Dr. Seuss book with the guy with the hats.

Cat in a hat? No, you remember the guy? It's like the man with the million hats and the hats kept popping up on his head. But instead of that, it's like an uncontrollable defecation. Just going down, down. You know, hop on plop. Yeah. I mean, everyone knows you're not supposed to take fentanyl in the morning.

Does everyone know that? I mean, not her, but it seems like crazy. Do drugs at night. You're not going to kill cyclists. What wine pairs with fentanyl? Let me look this up. Honestly, after our last discussions, we've been talking about fentanyl quite a me look this up. We will, honestly, after our last discussions, we've been talking about fentanyl quite a bit.

It keeps coming up. We got into it on Side Stories this week, too. And it is, apparently, it's super, a lot of it comes from China. Yeah.

And a lot of it was, I guess, you're only supposed to use a little bit. You're supposed to use a little bit to help you die but they use it as in pain medication and they use it and other stuff and there's like people you know but it's

apparently like that's one of the reasons why they do put it in drugs is it's also highly highly addictive yeah and there's also apparently an attraction like this is like one of those like fucked up things that's interesting is that sometimes I've heard, I had a couple of people write in that talked about this like phenomena of somebody who is a hardcore addict, hardcore drug addict will actually hear that the drugs killed somebody from their dealer. And it's actually more attractive for them because then they know that it means that their dealer has really strong stuff and that they get caught in sort of that feedback loop of looking to be as high as absolutely possible and they you know you just end up not waking up it's like people who knowingly do crocodile yeah yes they just are looking to have that story i guess and one arm yeah yeah and there's

some really intense shit going on in america right now something that's very close to crocodile really yeah i'll look and we'll talk about this new drug yeah it's a new it's a new kind of drug it's uh it's getting pretty fucking hairy it's getting really hairy out there in america people i blame huey lewis he wanted a new drug and this is what happens. And then he got it. No, shit's getting real hairy out there. Really? For folks, yeah.

No new drugs. Yeah. The drugs we have do the job. They work. Yeah, they do work. They've worked for many years. They've always worked. But they're not that old, you know?

Yeah. The drugs that we have, relatively speaking, you know, like methadone, heroin, not that old. Opium is kind of old, but like the drugs that we have relatively speaking you know like um you know methadone heroin not that old opium is kind of old but like heroin yeah pretty fairly rich is still alive cocaine's super new yeah well it's from the 20s right yeah but as far as uh you know being in the western world yeah cocaine's pretty new oh yeah it's called the new drug. Apparently, it's called Trank Dope. Trank Dope. Yeah. Whoa, cool. Wow.

Yeah. I've seen interviews with guys. Wow, cool. He's a guy showing. He's like, yeah, my arm is infected. It's going to fall off. I'm not going to stop. Damn. Yeah, man.

Just so matter of fact about it. God. It's a hot new realness. You've never liked anything that much. You've never liked anything that much? Yeah. Not even like Led zeppelin if we don't take care of ourselves you know it's one of those where you know meat will kill us that is just like you know our delicious love of me i made the past or joke earlier but i've

been laying off the red meat i go i swing back forth, man. I'm trying to, man. Ups and downs is horror for me. I love that meat. More fish. I know. Yeah. We'll get to it eventually. Fly from your grave.

Last story of the day. David C. Schreitman is charged with first-degree murder in the January 30, 2024, stabbing death of Mary Rose Feeley outside of her apartment in Somerville, New Jersey. He allegedly wrote a step by step plan to kill her, had a full manifesto and fatally stabbed her 37 times. Yeah, this this dude. It's also when you look at him.

I think it's funny that he's I mean, that's not funny. I think it's funny that he's, I mean, that's not funny, but I think it's funny that he's from Jersey and he looks like a trauma character. Like he looks like the nerd before he turns into the toxic Avenger. He does. Like, and his name is David Shreitman. So you can tell that he's like doing this weird ass like he's he was obsessed with this girl from school and after high school this is like one of those like that's got to be obviously very creepy like somebody who's been obsessed with you for like 10 years from high school just showing back

up in your life who's just been like you have been the center of every thought that they've had for a decade and you just you just went out you just like lived your life and you're like if someone said do you remember david schreitman you're probably like yeah i guess yeah meanwhile like he can draw your face from memory yeah well several local media outlets obtained a probable cause arrest avidated detailing the case. Investigators quickly identified Schreutman as a suspect. Cops went to talk to Schreutman on Friday, but he declined to speak with them. Detectives reportedly noticed a white garbage bag over the front seat of his car,

along with a black gaiter and duct tape. What's a gaiter? G-A-I-T-E-R? A neck gaiter? Yeah, I think so. I believe, isn't that what you do in the isn't that what you wear as a waiters? Yeah, no, a neck gator that's like something you wear like

instead of a mask. Yeah, it's a thing. Yeah, it's a neck thing and it goes up over your nose. Yeah, it's a neck warmer. Yeah. People were using them instead of masks during COVID. That's the only reason I remember. Yeah. The only thing is I can't find I can't find the manifesto. That was like I was looking for it. They haven't

released it yet. They haven't released the manifesto yet. It was all on post-it notes so they don't know the order. Well you know I love a manifesto. I love reading manifesto. I love a manifesto. We all love a manifesto but I also I have a feeling they're just using the word manifesto

without really understanding what manifesto means. Because it's a plan. Yeah. Step by step. A plan is not a manifesto. No, yeah. It's a blueprint. Yeah.

Yeah. A blueprint. A manifesto is if. Why I did it. Yeah. Why. If there was some sort of grand. Scheme.

Scheme behind the whole thing. If there was some sort of like grand, like inspiration for doing for doing this some reason then it would be a manifesto this is just a plan yeah yeah you know a nerd did it because he fucking wrote it all down first you know the jocks do crimes of passion yeah it's very interesting we're obviously criminals are dumb that's just kind of an inherent thing we where like because you can't read anything about crime and see how often people get caught how you know like all these like but this happens like a lot yeah i remember the story don't kill people yeah but there was a guy that killed his parents that we covered a little bit on side stories same thing where he wrote in this this

like step by step like you know when you write plans like i don't like to write necessarily like to-do lists because sometimes it feels like i've already done everything it feels like i wrote i'll write a to-do list and i'm like and done and then like i close the book and i never look at it again you know i'm being like very good that's good work, Henry. And then like, you know, then nothing gets done and then people are calling me and I'm missing shit. You know,

just kind of space my way through it. But these guys keep doing this shit. They write it all down. And then obviously the plan goes awry because they never, they don't, it doesn't work like that. Murder is like this,

like extremely, Eddie Kemper talked about this. Bumblebutt talked about the idea that he thought that when he stabbed somebody, they just go like, and they'd be dead. You don't realize like, no, it's actually like,

sometimes it takes a long time. Yeah. You know, like strangling somebody takes three to five minutes. Yeah. And if you say that in your head, that's not a lot of time. But if you ever just sat

and squeezed throat for five minutes you're gonna have strong hands yeah yeah you're really gonna work on that he stabbed her 37 times damn and they'd say that you know they always say that it's uh you know when you stab somebody's like oh they stabbed him so many times it had to have been a crime of passion but sometimes you just they just keep stabbing because it takes a long time for someone to bleed out. It takes a long time for someone to die from stab wounds. God, man. Until you get above the 30 mark, and then it's going to be pretty quick.

So Jersey, they don't have the death penalty. But if they just put them back in the streets, Jersey would take care of them, though. Well, you know, and then it just depends. Because Dustin Shroitman, he doesn't look like he's got a lot of friends no no he's got no friends that's why he fucking not why he did this but part of the reason david schreitman not david schreitman he's going to be going away for a long time good but that's the thing is that we talk about like they say it you know the adage is like you know criminals are stupid um but you know the more i think the more apt way to put it would be uh that the criminals who get caught are stupid yeah but you know i feel it's it's just those that don't get caught are in congress hey there we go he's up and moving Fuck yeah! Fuck yes! He's humping the air. He's having a good time.

But no, there are... I find that criminals more often than not will end up shooting themselves in the foot. Most of the time. That's just what they end up doing because you have a lack of income. You obviously already have some form of lack of impulse control

unless you are an extremely patient criminal. Well, unless you're Richard Kuklinski. Yes. Or you're somebody like him. You've got somebody BTK, super patient, evil villain. But I still find that they're very rare. Of course. You just listed the two names that I know.

Those ones, Dick Cheney. Literally, truly one of the very patient, extremely capable villain. So patient he's still alive. Yeah. Still alive. He's got, I feel like he's got like, his plan isn't done yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's still got a couple of hearts in the freezer.

Yeah, like what does he have to do that's next? Yeah. I don't know. Oh, man. This is, I mean, I got it. Not that it's a contest, but this guy's the worst one today, right? Yeah, I'd say. Yeah.

Yeah, I'd say. The old man, at least it was like a crime of passion. There is the doctor that pulled the head off of the baby and then tried to cover it up. Yeah, so they covered it up. That was an accident. That was an accident, yes. That's how I feel about that. Yeah, this is premeditated.

And what would you do? Oh, if I tore the head off a baby, I'd try to hide it immediately. I would do the same. There's no way. I would literally go like, like, hold me like, oh, it's crazy, and then go back out there and be like, you wouldn't believe that baby

tried to attack a police officer. You know, like, I would be coming up with, I would be spinning tails and just flop sweat. I would just run away. A ninja came into the hospital and made me a katana. And your baby, in a sheer moment of panic,

your baby jumped in front of me to save me. Give it a medal. Give it a medal. Give him a medal. This baby's a hero. He's put it in for the Purple Heart. Oh my God,

his heart is purple. Yeah, Eddie. Yeah, we're in the same page. Wow. God, everybody's horrible, huh? Yeah, especially us. Yeah, yeah well next week we're going to get into one of the most horrible men to ever live yeah at least in the 20th well let's say one of the most horrible men in the latter quarter of the 20th century okay Yeah. He had a lot of competition in the 30s and 40s.

He really did. He's pretty bad for the last quarter. Okay. We're going to get into one of the heaviest of heavy hitters. We're going to be doing that next week. Starting in a long, deep, long, deep series.

It's going back. We're putting a lot of history into it as well. Yeah. So just understand it's called context. You're going a lot of history into it as well. So just understand it's called context. You're going to learn and you're going to like it along with your murder. There's also going to be murder in the historical context. There's a lot of it. There's going to be a lot of blood in the next couple.

A lot of blood. We're getting into, we kind of teased it, but we'll talk a little bit about what's going behind the scenes of our government as well. Won't we? Do their eyes blink up and down or side to side? Oh, you never know these days. But we have a fuck ton of material planned for the rest of this year.

So thank you guys, as always, for being in your fucking, your home or your car right now. not out fucking you know i don't know what they would be doing not listening to our show listening to music yeah music's great yeah i love music not to like you know plug anything that's not ours yeah listen to the show yeah but have you guys thought about music yeah no no no Boy Genius was wonderful. Last podcast on the left. That's the show. That's what you need to be listening to. Or Side Stories. Or No Dogs in Space.

Or Page Seven. Or Wizard and the Bruiser. Brighter Side is your show. Thank you for Brighter Side. Yes. Broadsters. Spun. Yes.

The last podcast. All of these shows. LPN TV. Yes. Go to the YouTube channel. There's a lot of stuff being made. There's a TV. Yes. Go to the YouTube channel. Twitch.tv. Subscribe. There's a lot of stuff being made. There's a lot of stuff.

We got a YouTube strike this week, so we can't put up our new fucking videos. Really? Because there was a fucking YouTube strike. Yes. Because of the video that you showed that we clipped. It was great, but it was the video of the guy snapping his leg on the skateboard.

I didn't show it. No, you didn't. No, that was Kelsey. Yeah. We're going to have a long talk. But no, no. I loved it. We, that was Kelsey. Yo, we're going to have a long talk. But no, no, I loved it. We loved the video. It was an accident. I can't believe that's

what got us in trouble. I know it did. Well, that's not the only thing we've got in trouble for, but it's... Well, I got in trouble for the ball, though. How many strikes do you get on YouTube? I think three. Then we got one for the... Can we contest it? No. We'll be fine.

It's coming from fucking... It's somebody else, man. The AI is doing this to us, dog. Yeah. All right. Yeah, if you wanted another more good music to listen to, it's been Gezebel Gebergably. Okay. They're really good. Gezebel Gebergably? Yeah.

That's real? Yeah, it's real. I'll check it out. I've been listening to Miles Davis. Thank you. But you should be listening to Last Podcast on the left. Again, why are we doing this? Fuck music, man. Alright? Fucking edutainment. Yeah, man. Music isn't even real. It's all in your fucking head.

Nah, dude. It's made up. It's just noises. Music is just noises and I don't want to cry, alright? I'm sick of crying. I'm sick. Music is just noises and I don't want to cry. All right? I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of fucking feeling things. All right?

That's what's nice. Their new album, Gaburger, is very good. Gaburger? Yeah. Gaburger came out last year. You're making shit up.

You're literally just making up names of bands. That's not real. All right, fuckers. Hail Sweet Satan. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hail Perrier, I guess.

I don't know. Soda water. No, we're not. Honestly, I think that they're bought by Nestle, so we might want to. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Hail Perrier, I guess. I don't know. Soda water. No, we're not. Honestly, I think that they're bought by Nestle, so we don't want to. Oh, yeah, that's right. Fuck Perrier. Yeah, we got to stop. We got to find something different.

Yeah, and I'm sick of this shit. Yeah. Nestle is the evil. Yeah, they are. We need to make our own water. I didn't know. I didn't know it was Nestle, so now we got to find some new shit. So much of everything is Nestle.

Yeah. The Arrowhead. Fucking all this shit. It's all Nestle. Poland Springs Nestle. Yeah, it's is Nestle. Yep. The Arrowhead. Fucking all this shit. It's all Nestle. Poland Springs Nestle. Yep. It's all Nestle. These motherfuckers.

Fuck Nestle. Edutainment. You wouldn't have learned that from a burger. You wouldn't have learned that. All right. Again, everybody, have a good weekend. We'll see you next. We'll see you next week.

Goodbye. Good weekend. We'll see you next. We'll see you next week. Goodbye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them.

For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.