Last Podcast On The Left - Relaxed Fit: True Crime Roundup - My Other Car is a Sex Doll

Episode Date: January 5, 2024

Well... Vacation is OVER! It's a New Year and the boys are back - so go ahead and put on your comfiest pair of stretchy pants because it's time for a brand new Relaxed Fit: True Crime Round-Up to get ya right back in the swing of things! Starting off - the boys break down Pornhub's most searched "keywords" state-by-state, THEN - a Wisconsin woman brings her gun along for her MRI - accidentally gets shot, a scorned Wife delivers a "one-punch death" in Pune, PokémonGO Shooting lands former Pennsylvania City Mayor In Prison, more modern-day Grave Robbers CAUGHT, and MORE! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

listening, it is I, Numerator 479. According to our studies of your puny mammalian race, we discovered you like very good coffee. And while it is our evolutionary purpose to cause you psychic torment, we want you awake invivacious to give it. So try our new blend from Spring Hill Jack Coffee. Reptillion in the morning,

our proprietary blend of lightly roasted cocayo husks will have you immediately energized upon emerging from the pained cloaca with all your slippery new eggs. Thanks, harmony. Hot, heart, I'm cold-blooded. Mmm. Eggs is Spring Hill Jack and last hot gas on the left.

I'm ready to get out there and eat some babies. Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton. There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot gas. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. Get a death wish. It's me, Charles Branson.

You've never heard my Charles Bronson? I've never heard you Charles Bronson. It's me, it's Charles Branson. It sounds like Bob Dylan. No. Hey, I'm Charles Branson. That's you being Bob Dylan. And from here.

No, now you're making me Bob Dylan. I'm Charles Brantz. What did you do to my wife? What did you do? What did you do to my wife? That's my resolution. I'm from heaven, Minnesota. I'm from heaven, Minnesota.

That's Bob. Bill. Again, it's different. You're doing sing-songy. I thought he was from Duluth. Hibbons. Oh. Hibbons.

Yeah, but now it's more like the old. Now Bob Dylan. We can do this all day. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to do my New Year's resolution is to perfect my Charles Bronson and to separate it from my Bob Dylan. Wow. I think that's great.

I would love to do a Death Witch watch party, man. Oh, that'd be nice. Just go through all six of them. Well, before we get to that, that's it. That's the man who wants to watch all the death wishes. Yes, I have a death wish for death wish. He does. And we've got Henry Zabrowski who's working on his.

Charles Branson. And Charles Branson. And Jerry, get an MRI machine because his woman's concealed handgun to fire. I'm trying to get it into that. That's how you lock it in. And my name's Marcus Parks and my New Year's resolution is to get more in tune with the earth. Whoa. You mean like bury yourself alive?

You already dig daily. How much more? Is it just you're going to be rolling around in soil? No, that's the problem, though, is that my house only has so much dirt. And you can only dig so much because that's the thing. I planted a lot of stuff. And it's all, like, doing really well. Like, my flowers are blooming.

They're beautiful. Everything's going great. But now I can't dig no more. Marcus Parks Community Garden. You are slowly but surely. Think about it. Honestly, the more connected to order of flowers, you're becoming Kate Bush. this is becoming

You put the push and gay push Oh you don't think she's got Oh Well I'm talking about Like an actual one that you plant In the ground Not the one she sits on every day

I'm talking about pews I'm talking about big crazy pews Bucs, brother Come on man Come on Jack I'm talking about Pube dog Well today we got a true crime roundup

But it's also a relaxed bit We're going to be talking about various sundries strange things are going to be talking about some stats that have come in. Look, I think say a lot about this country and a lot about the states. I do. I honestly, and you don't know what is revealed, but activity taps on your computer. And I have Eddie's little computer day because I forgot it.

Yeah, I got it. You know, it's very decorated. Henry isn't this friendly. You know. No, no, no. But I don't, because then we were actually talking about this before the show because it's like, you could have just kept the computer and I could have not had the computer, but it feels weird because I'm the other guy with the computer.

Yeah, I also planned nothing. So you should have the computer. computer. He also planned nothing. I planned nothing. Jake's computer. Get it away from him. Yeah, I feel it's nice because they answer some emails while you're in there actually. I will just say, I'm afraid. I don't like being

inside of someone else's computer because I don't want to know what goes on inside of the back of your fucking lizard's. It's surprisingly boring. I know. It's just mostly like, you probably, what's your main porn search? My main porn search? Tits? Yeah. Like he's a man who just arrived

in a time machine. I don't even need to search. It's just whatever's in front of me. Yeah. I ain't all that particular. I like what's popular. Yeah. Wow.

You do top 40? Yeah, I did top 40 porn. I do the Taylor Swift of porn, you know? Well, it's on our minds. Let's say, before we get into some crime, let's get into some stats. Okay. Pornhub. Okay, well, yes, they are.

There's quite a bit of crime going on on porn hub. There's a lot of crime just in general. But I feel like this tells you a lot about members of our. of our constituency. Of course. So, you know, they released all the stats of the years, what the, for the year, what the top searches are. So, I mean, it's not anything that surprising.

Melfth, hentai. Sure. So on and so forth. Android made a 1,000% gain on search. Now, did you go on porn? I mean it. Did you go on Pornhub and look up Android and see what that even means? Because I don't know if it's just like, and, because part of me wonders is about Android-friendly

VR porn. Well, it is just the search term Android. So what comes up is something different. Do you care if I do this on here? You know, there's the private search. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to throw that on there? I just want to see.

Because I've never heard of that category before. I never heard of me either. Is it, yeah, is it people fucking robots or is it like people filming? This is for work. I want Rob, I want everybody's an employee to mark this. It shows up on the thing. This is research for the goddamn. This isn't anything we talked about in the office, not into a microphone.

Well, Android is often combined with video game searches. Oh, interesting. Yeah, so they want like... Lesbian sexy robot, Android 18. Android cosplay, Android roleplay. So they want somebody dressed up as a beep boop robot. Interesting. But no tinfoil.

I mean, there were past tinfoil, bro. What do you mean? They look like people now. Yeah. No, they don't yet. Well, I mean, when you put the fake skin on them, they look like people. But we have like real dolls, but they're not doing anything. It's not they can go out and get a job or whatever.

They can't protect the house. They just lay there, get fucked. and then have to be washed out. Arguably a job. I guess they do arguably a full-hard job. Room and Bored. It's mostly a service. Well, the most interesting part of these stats

is the United States top relative searches. And these are terms searched more often in each state when compared to all the others. Okay. It's not like which relative they want to fuck. No. But there is that. There is quite a bit of that as well.

You know what's funny is that there's not a lot of states have that relative fucking like the whole step brother step father steps is their incest all that you never hear stepfather why is that you hear it in gay porn it shows up in gay they also have the the gay searches shows up in gay porn daddy is also very large very tall on the list

I was about to say very long on the list there was a fucking video I was searching for for the stream that I had found then someone deleted and I was looking for it for a long time I didn't think about the connotation and so the video again if If you know what this video is, please send it to side stories, L-P-O-T-L at g-mell.com. Your computer's going to explode. This is just, but the video was of a man, and this was real, he was caught masturbating in public,

and he's all video of him masturbating, but like real lazily, just masturbating public. But then you see him being arrested, and he's continuing to be to masturbating. And then he continued him to be back, he gets into the cop car, and someone's filming him trying to suck his own dick inside of the cop car, right? Because fully erect. Yeah. He must have been. You know, you're already in there. You must have had a Red Bull.

But then I looked all that up, right? I looked up man masturbating caught by police. That's going to be a lot of different. Yeah, it's really like very graphic and a lot of it's not that video. Because one of the top searches is also both in gay and straight is uniform. Cops. Sure. Firefighters.

Sure. Yeah, that's popular for all the time. Dude show up dressed like a cop, you know. Everyone loves it. You know, everyone parties. The fucking practices blow at them. But there's no state that has any of those like top searches. What you consider.

Like one of those top searches, one of those things that you would consider like, all right. No blue lives matter. Oh my God. Blue balls matter. No, it's stuff like for example, like, okay, some of them do make sense. Utah Mormon. Sure. Utah searches Mormon more than anyone else.

New Mexico, Native American. Wow. Okay. More than anybody else. Wyoming. Goth. Really? Yeah.

I could see the outsiders. Yeah. There's a little something special. I could definitely see some ranch goth. Here's also another interesting one. In Nevada, the top search term is Vegas. You're already there. Well, you know, that's where all the debauchery is.

So if you're in Henderson, you're not going to search Henderson. You know, you're going to get a witness. You're in Hidding, Minnesota. You're not going to be searching Hibbons. But you know if you search Vegas, you kind of get a little charge and I was like, Hey, search Las Vegas when I go to Bourneubub, Jabberts. I remember some of the weird porn I used to get with. I used to go to Vegas, and they would just straight, back in the day in the 90s, they would

just hand you pouring in the street. Yeah, I remember that. They'd be like little stars on the nipples and stuff. You know, like, they would just, I remember being like 12 and be like, what? I guess I can look it up again on his computer. West Virginia, they'd be into that. Nip slip. That's their biggest one. Wow, that's kind, that's interesting. There's some very, very, like, specific ones. Like, for example, Texas, creamy. Really? Just simply creamy. I mean, they like ranch. If there is a... That was where ranch is mostly a condiment is in Texas, right?

Or Wisconsin. Ranch is also a very heavy condiment in Texas. Yeah, and a lifestyle. Yeah, it very much is. Yeah, you often put the two together. North and South Dakota are strange because they have different search terms, but they're similar. South Dakota, their top, is shower sex. Yeah, because sour sex is...

is bad too. They're just drinking. That's pet cemeteries. Sometimes. That is better. She's done turn sound. But North Dakota, loud wet sex.

Interesting. Okay. So it's similar. Skl, sco, scle, scle, scle, scle, but is it like,

I don't know. I would have never guessed them to be so clean. But wet sex is kind of like, yeah. Loud wet sex. That's just more like, are they in a...

That's so specific. Yeah. And they swamp? Some of them are very specific. Is it like that? Like a muck? I don't know what loud, wet sex is. I've never typed that in.

I have never typed that in either. All the space in South Dakota, I bet they all got real nice showers. Oh, yeah, good water pressure. They've got set that weed are not allowed to have here. Yeah, like those special like showerheads and stuff. Yeah, blows your fucking asshole open. Here's an very interesting one. Ohio, you know, some of the other ones have, you know, big dick.

Big Dick was a big search term this year. Huge search term. Sure, sure, sure. Big Dick energy probably. Yeah, yeah. Ohio, small dick. Interesting. Ohio, very interested in seeing men with small dick.

Explains a lot. Yeah, as are all my new family's from. It really does explain a lot. Ask your father-in-law. Yeah, that's right. We're planning a call of FaceTime on Christmas. I feel like this is a good time being like, hey, Papu, do you call him a special name? No, Bob.

Oh, yeah, I didn't know. Like, because that's one of those weird things about calling your wife's father a thing. Yeah. Because it's like, we don't do dad, right? Dad's weird. I barely call my dad dad dad. Yeah, I mean, like, what do you call Carolina's father? Roberto.

You call him Roberto? It's his name. You don't call him like, Signor Hidalgo? No. No, I just call him Roberto. We're in first name, we're friends. We should make a new name for that guy. Like you call him like you do with your grandpa, like you call grandpa like.

Pop is cool. Yeah, like, hey pops. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, being like, wifemaker. That's terrible. You're the wifemaker. Hi, wife, Baker. That's what you say the first time you meet him. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I changed my dad's name from dad the pop when I got a little older. Yeah, sure. Yeah, pop is good. Yeah. Yeah, I do take my earlier statement about no cops being on the most search, relative search list. The District of Columbia, big ass cop. Big ass cop? A cop with a big ass.

I think it's a cop with a big ass. I think there's a cop. There's got to be a guy. There's got to be one guy. I think there's a woman. I think there's a woman. woman in the District of Columbia, there is a police officer. Do I have to look this up?

Yeah, that's right. I'm not doing this again. I'm not looking it up again. Go ahead. Keep the safe search. I know. I just say, we're at work. I mean, it's fine.

If it breaks, you, buy me a new computer. No, I'm just, you know. New York has a weird one. Body swap. Body swap. Yeah. I feel like that is like a convention. Because there's a freaky Friday?

You know what there? There's foreign conventions that we're outside of, right? That we're not as interested in. like the idea up there for the term free use. Yeah. Or people being, like, that's a common term, I guess. I know you're with that. That is on the thing, that is on the, on the, on the, the pornography systems.

Yeah. And I feel like something like that feels like one of those. It's like a category that we don't understand as a category. Yeah. That's the one that, and I, I love our people in Oklahoma. You know I love you so much. My family's from Oklahoma. Yeah.

Got friends in Oklahoma. You guys are great. But the term, what they, what they Googled and religious, to everybody else was sex dick. Sex dick? That's it? That seems uneducated.

Yeah. Six. With dick. What's sick? Because I know how I Google search. And it is always that. It was like that's how like when I did that one of you was like, man, masturbates. Caught by police.

Continues masturbates while caught by police. You know, like. Too many details. It's a lot of details. But that thing of like, I guess just type and you just need that dick. You're looking to see Dick having. the sex. And so you just go like, I need sex dick.

Sex dick. Mississippi is the biggest furry state. Oh, really? I guess it was a Pee for PPI. Hmm. I like that. You think it's got anything to do with the river? Yeah. That old man river.

I would never guess the Mississippi to be furries, though. I would never expect them to like go out and buy costumes in Mississippi. Well, I imagine Halloween's boring in Mississippi. But now, not anymore. You'd be surprised. I do find that a lot of our listeners that have talked about being into those types of lifestyles,

they do kind of actually kind of come from a place where there's, like, less stuff to do. Because it's a beautiful hobby if you're into it, right? Like you get to make all the costumes. You get to figure out because, again, we've been chastised many times before. It's not just sex. Yes. A lot of furries. It's like rubbing and, like, just hanging out too.

It's a lot of just hanging out. It's just not being a person. Yeah. Being a sexy fox. I had a very interesting trip once in Boston. We were doing the cop roast and we're staying at the Hilton. And during while I was at the Hilton, there was like a video game convention there and a furry convention. And WWE was in town. So the bar was nuts.

Oh, yeah, buddy. It was like a bunch of cops, wrestlers, furries, and nerds. And it was like, and everyone was just getting hammered. Just one bar of deodorant. I'll go ahead and shit. You know, he was a disaster. Everyone's staying away from him. He was being real scary.

He is scary. Yeah. He also continues to be a very large man. Yeah, but the furries were all over the place. And I got to say, they're all sweet. Oh, of course. They're all so kind. Of course they're sweet. I would imagine there's a bit of a Venn diagram

between the furries and the video gamers. Yeah, yeah. And the video gamers were doing like a magic card game. I don't think it was magic though. And they were like, I'd never see it. There was like a hundred people surrounding them in the lobby. And these two dudes are battling and people were just fucking screaming and shit. I could only imagine it was like thousands of dollars

and magic cards getting put for the backboard. You're going to end up. Understand. Tens of thousands. You're going to experience a lot more cons. In the next couple of years you begin to see all the flavors. It's fun. There's many, many flavors because I find that the anime cons are interesting. They're more genuine

fans, but they are a little bit more reserved. And it also depends on which con you go to. Some cons are more fun than others. WonderCon is more fun than San Diego Comic Con because WonderCon is more focused on like nerddom and like getting together and talking about that's in Anaheim.

Oh, cool. That's great. That's where I found, like, the Star Trek Society and, like, sat and talked with him, like, about Deep Space Nine for, like, 30 minutes. It was fantastic. Oh, that's so nice. I'm about... I'm about to do your pretty face going to hell panel in Raleigh.

Oh. At the... I think it's called... It's like the Anama Matrix Con or something like that. January 5th through the 7th. I'm going to be there. Hell yeah. And while you're there, make sure to search Bubblebutt.

That's the number one for North Carolina. See, that makes a lot of sense. Now, is that like... shitting for too much barbecue? No, bubble butt. You don't know what a bubble butt is? I know what a bubble butt is, but I also know what a bubble guts are. And so I feel like they can be both.

No, a bubble butt. I know what a butt is. Something you could slap going straight down. Yes. But I'll say that to our listeners, a lot of times it's fake. Sometimes it is. So what? Hey, mine ain't. BBL's.

That's kind of right. The difference you don't, unfortunately, you don't have a bubble butt. You don't because you just got the bottom. Many comments I've had throughout the years. Desperate men. You actually have a good lower half of butt, a bubble butt in up. Side Stories, L-P-O-T-L-G-L-G-M-L-G-L-com. You think it's up top.

It also connotates the round of the beginning. That is true. I have more of a rump than a bubble butt. I have an ample rump. You've got an ass. You got a butt, like, to me, a bubble butt. Like, yes, I agree with what you're saying. But you do have the greatest test is like if you slap straight down from the back, you'll hit it.

Yeah. And that's a lesson straight from Tallahassee, Florida. Yeah, and Henry is, you just miss. You fall over. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's my ultimate trick. All right, well, I'm glad that we did. You know, now that we have...

Florida, what's Florida? Florida is very broad. Fantasy. Fantasy, really? Because they seem so uncreative. Fantasy. Yeah, that's so weird. Disney World.

Whoa. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. I bet it is. There's a lot of Disney-based porn. Wow. Of course. Oh, yeah.

You kidding me? And I also take it back. There is one stepmom. However, it's specific stepmom. It's California. It's here. Asian stepmom. Yeah.

Yeah, well, you know, we're on the Pacific coast. Amen. They see it a lot. Yeah. Makes sense. And Idaho is dildo ride. Oregon's nudist and Washington is sensual sex. So that takes care of the entire West Coast.

Just type it in sensual sex. Yeah. How, like, what are you, Luther Vandross? Well, they're so emotional. The suicide rate's so high. It's raining all the time. You just want to love. You just go.

And he puts a saxophone down. And then it's like, sensual sex. I want a soft curtain. Well, it's mostly just that the backgrounds are nicer. There's not as much pounding. Well, they call that down. There's not enough. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Yeah, they're produced, you know, the sounds. You know, they got a sound guy. Softer lighting. Isn't the whole thing that's called like porn for ladies? It's like the whole thing. Yeah. Sensual sex. Yeah, where it's not just, yeah, ripping and gaping.

Yeah. Some of it's petting and kissing. You know who loves ripping and gaping? That's Connecticut. Double vaginal. Yeah. Double vaginal. Oh.

There we go. Good for them. Commuter state. A lot of time in the car to let your mind wander. You know, what's Alabama? I bet two can get in there. Alabama fingering myself. Yep.

Fingering. Just do it. That's a long. What is wrong with you guys? How lazy are you? It's also a very, very long search term. Kentucky's is really, Fun, bouncing boobs.

As long as it's not horses anymore. Yeah, yeah, utters. I'm sorry, I just have to know. Hawaii? Hawaiian. Good for them. Yeah. It's kind of proud.

I think of shit. I find that kind of selfish. Selfish? Yeah. Why? Surrounded by it. Love yourself. It's an island country.

Think about outside the box, man. No, man. Love yourself. Love your people. Be your people. I know. I'm just saying, you know, they keep a local there a lot in Hawaii.

Alaska does have said Alaska, loneliness, sex doll, number one. Oh, wow. Man, you would go online to watch somebody else fuck a sex doll? Well, you can't afford it. That's true. They're expensive.

A good one's very expensive. Not a cheap one. If you're just typing in sex, car for a sex stall price. Yeah, you really can. I guess. No, yeah, because the highest end of like $14,000. It sounds like you need one.

Yeah. I do also love Nebraska. Nebraska's is very simple. It's very innocent. Rub. Rub. Rub. Honestly, it sounds like more about barbecue.

Also, now I want to get a fucking bumper sticker which we should sell as merch. My other car is a sex doll. That is a great bumper sticker. That's fantastic. Trademark. Mailing it. Mail in the episode to ourselves. We own it now.

It's ours. Trademark, trademark, trademark. All rights reserved. Let's get to some true cry. Yes, please. Speaking of shoot in the butt. We got to do it. A newly filed report by the Food and Drug Administration describes an incident in a Wisconsin hospital where a woman was shot in the buttocks after bringing a gun into a room with an MRI machine. You've ever had an MRI?

Yeah, yeah. But when I was 16, I did. Yeah. They're horrible. I've had so many of them. Yeah. You know what it was, I thought I was going to hate it more than I did. Yeah.

Yeah, I really did. It was that, you know, it's just like one of those things. It was like, all right, I'm doing this. They pump in the thing where they're like, sell away, sell away, sell away. That's like the type of music that drives me into a homicidal rage. Yeah, like massage parlor music. I hate it. I hate lofi beats.

Or the worst is the Delta, like when you're waiting on the plane, the Delta bat waiting music where it's trying to relax you where it's just all like, you never going to sing on you. That's what I'm going to fucking take off the. fucking top of this plane Virgin was always cool. They play like Michael Jackson and shit. Yeah. Yeah. But is that cool? So he brought

on Halloween. You know, Halloween was... Do you think she brought the gun in there just because she felt unsafe? I think she forgot she had the gun on her. How can you... Lots of people just fucking carry guns everywhere they go. It's crazy. I mean, people you would never... At the hospital?

Dude, these old Jewish guys I know in South Florida, they're always strapped. You would never think it. My dad was. My dad was always strapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So many people are, it's such a, it's become such a crazy thing in our society. So everyone's, just assume everyone has a gun. Yeah. The 57 year old woman brought

the concealed handgun into the room. The gun was attracted to the magnet of the MRI and fired a single round, which hit her in the right buttock. Smone's superficial wound, however, and she was healing well shortly afterwards. Yeah, but now she's got to buy a new fucking MRI machine. Well, no, she just shot herself.

Yeah, thank God. Yeah. The question, too, is, like, well, fuck that. Honestly, you're the moron. You deserve whatever bill you fucking get. But she's just extremely lucky he didn't hurt somebody else. She really is. And she had been asked throughout the screening process. You packing?

She's like, do you have any objects containing iron? And the woman said, no. No. I got mine from a 3D printer. I'm going to fool everyone. Because I feel that's a part of it. It's like you can't. But what is she thinks going to fucking happen?

Don't you have a hospital gown up? You didn't have a cap the fucking nurse? You have this big diaphanous flapping thing on your body. Your ass is hanging out. Where's the gun attached? Last time I got an MRI, I didn't have to put on the hospital gown. You didn't have to get your underwear? No, not the last time I had one.

You're really? Yeah. You just go in clothes? That's what they put me in there for. I was in that fucking thing because they were trying to figure out the long COVID and trying to figure out the headaches, trying to figure out if any of my fucking nerves weren't working. What about like your zipper?

Was that a problem? I said it wasn't a problem. And then they go in there and we're like, well, your lungs don't work, but you got a real long skinny dick. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

It stays long, but it gets thicker. It does get thicker. But it's the idea, oh, God, you got this fucking, God, because you're scared, you're paranoid, man. Oh, yeah, man.

You're just, the gun becomes a sort of safety blanket to you where you just have it on you at all times because you never know what might happen. Yeah. And they just need to have. teeth with the fucking thing. This is my brother, my babysitter.

I love my gun. Yeah. Because I'd be also cool. You just leave the gun home with the kids. Yeah. Watch the kids. If they're ever in danger, they use the quote-unquote babysitter. That's how most children get shot.

Because they find the gun when the daddy's at home. Because I found my dad's gun when we were at home alone. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Real lucky. I didn't kill anyone with that thing. Oh, yeah. Because it was a big gun.

You played with it a lot, right? Oh, yeah, I definitely played with the gun. Yeah. Of course. Yeah, because you know why I found it? Because they kept it right next to where they hid the Christmas presents. You can't hide the Christmas presents next to the gun? I always knew where they had the Christmas presents.

And so, like, I looked up there and then there was the gun. And so I grabbed the gun and I played with the gun. And the gun was definitely loaded. It was big revolver. This is a good notice all you parents. Guess what? In case you've forgotten being a child, they know where the presents are. Yeah.

They look for everything. They know where they are. They've already found them. They found whatever garbage, whatever horrible pictures you and your wife took back when you were fun, they found them. Man, they found the drugs. If you got drugs hiding somewhere, they found them. It's just how it is. You need a safe.

You got to have a safe. Yeah, but then he wanted to have it fast. Well, then he should be packing. If he's got that gun on him, should be on his bill. Yep. It is. You know what I always said for that? Like, because Julie and I were like legitimately talking about getting a gun and like trying to figure out what is.

And I figured if we ever did get a gun, I would get a shotgun and sand pellets. Yeah. Like that way like if I ever, God forbid, I ever had to shoot somebody. Yeah. They would live. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Exactly. That's why I'm getting one atomic bomb. So as long as I have one, I just have one atomic bomb. I don't have to do anything ever again. It would be nice. You know? Non-negotiable. Imagine how much...

Henry non-negotiable, Zabrowski. You know? You can sell it. You probably get some good money. The Lord of Brinkmanship. Nobody. As soon as you don't have the atomic bomb, you lose all those wonderful atomic bomb fucking...

What you get from it, dog? Leverage. Leverage. Let's move on to the next story. This one is one of those accidental death stories. In a shocking incident, a 36-year-old man died after he was punched in the nose. by his wife after he refused to take her to Dubai for her birthday celebration.

It tracks. If you feel like you need to promise, this is India, but the idea you have to promise your wife to go to Dubai, which is, actually, it doesn't sound like it's super great. No, I mean, it's got, it's very expensive, you know, and it's just, but you, I'm at, well, the fish tank looks great. It's a city built on modern slave labor, which is kind of hard. And then they put a lot of, they pump a lot of stuff in there, and it's weird.

You can't drink. Yeah. You can't really hang. unless you go like into these like private clubs. But I do believe that means you were also subject to being arrested at any point. Quite possibly. I don't know. I don't really know how that works.

It just seems like a headache to have a decent time. Well, you have to know somebody. You have to be connected. Long Beach is right around the corner, you know, and just fucking go there. Yeah. But yeah, so what happened? Did he like did the nose thing go into his brain? I thought that was a myth.

Well, as per the primary investigation has been revealed that the couple had a fight because Nikiel, that's the husband's name, did not take Renuka to Dubai to celebrate her birthday and did not give her expensive gifts on her birthday and anniversary. Renuka was also upset that Nikiel was not giving a favorable response to her wish to go to Delhi to celebrate the birthdays of some relatives. The police further informed

that during the fight, Renuka punched Nikiel in the face. The impact of the punch was so hard that Nikiel's nose and some teeth were broken. With heavy bleeding, Nikiel lost consciousness and died. How fucking strong is this woman?

This woman is also incredibly strong. That's insane. The position it's remembering to, you know, it's good to remind our audience is that you have to really be careful when you punch somebody in the face. Because I actually think that it's not even as strong as you think. It's more about an angle. It just like hit the honey spot.

It hit the honey spot, the right angle with the right amount of force and not surprising somebody, like popping them in the face. You'd be surprised what can happen. You think she had brass knuckles? No, I said, she was punched. I don't know if she had brass knuckles or not. They said just, straight, full-on fist. Man, she's going to have a weird time in prison. Yeah, I was going to challenge her.

trying to get punched by her and shit. Yeah, she kills another. Yeah. Like then she becomes one punch. Oh, man, Stonehands. Yeah. She comes like the lady, Roberto Duran. Oh, Stonehands Kana.

That would be his, her name, yeah. Renuka Kana. So like Stonehands Kana sounds fucking badass. That does, right? They try to say that, like, you would have to, so apparently in Dubai, you traveling Dubai is a woman. What? I'm now obsessed with this.

I guess tourists can just wear regular clothes. But for the most part, if you're going to any form of mosque, you have to dress traditionally, especially as a woman. But it's just weird because it seems like it's like a schizophrenic lifestyle. Yeah. Where they do, they profess to camels next to Lamborghinis. I don't even know how to deal with that. You know, like it's just, it's schizophrenic in the fact that they, you know, they want to bring in Western tourists. They want to bring in the Western element while also maintaining that they must live by, you know, Muslim values.

The people there. That is a theocracy. Yeah. Now, where is Dubai? Like, is it, it's not its own country. It's in the United Arab Emirates, I believe. Okay, okay, okay. And it's a city in the UAE.

Okay, okay. Yeah, I just don't. Just don't reason. There's so many cooler places. So you have to, tourists are allowed to go, so you can drink in Dubai, but you have to, like, go to a special place. Like, literally, you have to go and find a place. It's like when I drank in Baghdad. It was on the, it was on the base.

I always forget you into Baghdad. Yeah. Brought you dirt. Yeah, that's great. I got that dirt. He went to Baghdad, but Baghdad never left him. Look at him, scarred forever. The mortar shells.

I made a mental choice to not make a joke there. Yeah. You look like a guy who's been to Baghdad. Yeah. You're watching the video right now. You can see. Yeah. Did it end with the bar?

Are you ready for this? Bag daddies. Oh, that's cute. That's cute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's cute. Apparently the big thing, dude, they do brunch on Fridays in Dubai. Those fucking weirdos.

Yeah, that's fucking weird, dude. That's not what it's supposed to be done. They think they have different weekends than us. Whoa, and they got Abu Dhabi. That's where Normal went to Abu Dhabi. Yeah, he mailed him to Abu Dhabi. That's what Garfield was always trying to do, is that he was always trying to sit normal to Abu Dhabi. That's a great joke.

You put this cat. He put this living creature in a box with no holes. and they always caught him right before the mailman picked it up. It still gets me. I don't want to fucking go. That crazy cat Garfield. He does whatever he wants. Yeah, go to Monaco.

You know where's the dangerous place I want to go? Cairo. I do want to go to Cairo. I want to go to Cairo. And I want to go to Morocco, too. Yeah, I'd love to go to Morocco. I hear both those places are fucking great. I also definitely want to do the Passion of the Christ Tour.

Oh, yeah. That's how I view to go down there. Like, it's my view. You gotta get the cross on you. Oh yeah. Oh, oh, feel sorry for me. This hat sucks.

Do you know who my father is? Wow. I mean, yeah, the one punch kill. Like, it does, it doesn't happen often. But it does. But it does happen. 80 people as between, it's actually, well,

and actually this is in India. 80 people have lost their lives, but from one punch since 2007. There's a lot. I mean, there's a lot of people in India, though. Oh, yeah, they're like number two. Number one now. Oh, they're number one now?

Yeah, they're the most populous nation in the fucking world. Way to get them. Yeah, man. That's crazy, man. Because, like, one punch is one thing. Like, sometimes, like, someone will punch you and then you fall and hit your head. Yes. You know, that's one thing.

But this is just a punch kills you. Well, that's number three. Is it like the, it happens in one of three ways. First, fatal damage can be caused to the brain. The force of impact can cause the tearing of veins to the brain, leading to fatal internal bleeding, which is, it sounds like what happened to this guy. Secondly, a person who has been knocked out can stop breathing

and they die of asphyxiation. Oh. Or third, even a relatively ineffectual punch can knock somebody over and cause them to bang their head and sustain a fatal secondary injury. So it seems like this guy, considering the amount of blood they mentioned in the story, he probably died

from the first. Fucking wild. Like you said, the honey spot, just pop up. Do you think she just looks at her hands and it's like, what are these? I'm a man. These hats. Hades. Hades. Millions.

Whoa, you know what says here? It's not as, Dubai is not as conservative as you thought. Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? Yeah. It sounds like a travel website. No. It says here.

It's been like, oh, you can leave your belongings or ready to go. Because, yes, some people may find their government administrators strict, but they said that, and yes, it was sort of, they do use the term ruled the city with an iron fist. What that means is that there's no crime. It sounds a lot like Scientology. Unless you've heard it from us, don't believe it. Curious. In Iran, I remember they have the finger chopping machine.

Yeah. You put your finger in and they chop it off. You get caught stealing something. And I always thought the ultimate thing the seal would be the finger chopping machine. That would be awesome. Now see what you do with this. Now see what you can do. Meanwhile, it's been like,

we'll just use Shibatar. We have more than one. So yeah, this woman, she has been charged with murder, and we'll see if there are any developments in the future. Oh, you're not allowed to swear in public. In Dubai.

No. How? They fuck him, if they hear you, they arrest you. And then you're also no public displays of affection. This demolition, man. No, man. No, it is not as conservatives if you think. I read this somewhere. It says here, it's,

an enjoyable experience. Go, experience the ease of the slave driver lifestyle. That's incredible. Well, I got a fun story that harkens a little bit back to our necrophilia episode. Please. It's not

necrophilia. It's necrophilia. It's necrophethed. Yay! Okay. Okay. An investigator with a Los Angeles County Medical Examiner has been charged with stealing a gold necklace and rare coins from two dead people while on

job. It's fucking Johnny done. No. Yeah, it sounds like that's gotta happen daily, right? Yeah, it happens all the time. They just don't get caught. They don't get caught. It's also like, it's, I still feel like it's frowned upon because what if the spirit of the thing follows you? I would imagine that these people don't really think a whole lot about the spirit world. Wait, to you got, we have some stories coming up in 2024 that I'm very excited for. Me too. That will teach you a couple of lessons about stealing things and removing objects from the dead that don't belong to. I think that, you know, you know, you know, what they should do is just get a bunch of fake necklaces and just always have them.

Just let them go. So you can switch them. Yeah, you're talking about what my mom used to do where she was like, Henry Thomas, you got to make sure to we have two wallets. And then you have one wallet. Keep your money in your shoe. Then you keep a spare wallet that has just one card in it. So they don't think that that's fake. But then you have another empty wallet in case you have to run Henry Thomas.

Because then what do you do is you throw the wallet. And then you run in the opposite direction. Yeah, but didn't you get mugged four times? Very much so. You should have listed a door. It was before I did that. I had no money. I had a disc man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had nothing. I can't believe they took the disc man. It was like the last month that a disc man was like a thing. They didn't take the disc man. I always remember the guy's face because he literally was like, what am I going to do with us? Yeah, because he asked for your iPod, right?

Yeah, he's your iPod, man. I was like, I have a disc man. And then the look of disappointed in me that he had. It's been like, damn. You don't have a fucking. It's like, I live in your neighborhood. Yeah, bro, I'm here, dude. I'm fucking, I'm scared, man.

I'm just like you, dude. You and me together. Let's go rob some other folks. We don't have anything, man. Let's just fucking go, dude. Let's go. I'll show you where the rich people are. It's not here.

The Los Angeles County District Attorney's Office announced Wednesday that Adrian Munoz, 34, had been charged with one felony count of grand theft and one misdemeanor. count of petty theft, prosecutors said he stole a gold crucifix necklace off the body of a warehouse worker who died of a heart attack on the job this January. Unbelievable. That's fucked up. Yeah.

That's fucked up. That bothers me, actually. As much as I don't believe in God at all, let this fucking warehouse worker and his family know that he has his necklace. Let him be buried with his gold necklace. Yeah, that's his necklace. Yeah. After the family reported the theft, investigators searched Munoz's desk and found antique co-heque

along with a receipt that belonged to a man whose death he had investigated in November of last year. This is the beginning of a horror movie. Yeah, this is just a guy rifling through the pockets of the dead and taking... I mean, who knows what else he took? Because, you know, if you believe back in the day, there are some people that purposely have left money with the dead. Because, you know, the old way when you'd leave the coins and the high balls. So they can pay the man on the river sticks. The ferryman and the river sticks.

You pay Chiron. Yes. Yes. And then because if not, soul wanders the planet Earth. Wonders the banks of the river sticks. And then shows up at your fucking house, right? Steals your belt like I had to deal with. Still on that fucking belt thing. It was still one of the weirdest things that's ever happening.

The more interesting story to me is like who died with a bunch of ancient coins in their pockets? I mean, that's the thing, man. If you collect coins, like, there's a chance you fucking die on the way and home from the coin store. Yeah, which there is one around here. You know what, that's one other thing. I keep... It's kind of cool. I'm trying to not let myself get an ancient coin collecting.

I feel like it's something that I would really enjoy. How much is a de Blune? I don't know. I haven't started the collection yet. You're going to become a numismatist? Is that what a man who collects coins is? Yeah, you fucking nerd. Coins are great for Berrien.

Not to talk you into this, but they're like... I'm looking at how much is an old de Blune? This is what I'm looking at. How much is an old de Blune? Actually, I do have a bunch of pennies, and maybe I should bury those in my garden. Why not? That's a good. That sounds like a way to kill three hours.

A standard Spanish d'Bloon has an average U.S. price of $4,000. Damn. Park your money in some de bloons. Oh, absolutely. The government's going to come after you. They don't know you got this fucking bucket of d'loon. We're slowly becoming coast-to-coast a year. We're just selling gold for cash.

But we don't even have a service attached to it. just telling people to do it. I'm whoa. This one's $45,000. Damn. I remember when I got... 1772. 1712.

When I got my mom's life insurance money, my buddy's dad was like, buy a bunch of silver, put it under your bed. This is all... All the old New York people that was around my mother just being like,

what if he just put it all in one giant gold frame? And then you put a family picture in it. And no one knows that all of your wealth is in one gold frame. It's the most fucking stupid queen. stupid queen's idea

I've ever heard my life. What happens is the house burns that? Well, the gold melts and then you get that puddle. Yeah, right? You'll find the puddle. You tell the firefighter,

look for a golden puddle. Just so you know, that it's fake, but it's got a lot of emotional importance to me. Okay? No, man, you can get into balloons.

I feel like if you get into coin collecting, just you, we talked a little bit about this, you and me the other day, about, like, you do have, like,

you do obviously, like, you like collections. I love collections. Yeah, we went to the Rose Bowl flea market the other day together. It was nice. We had a boys antiquing day. That's very sweet.

I like that. It was nice. This shit's fucking expensive. This is 18 grand for a fucking coin. I don't have to pay Liberty half dollar. I don't have to pay 18 grand for a coin. I can just be like, hey, you got any old as Kennedy half dollars? Well, yeah.

This fucking what's this. Wow, this is a fucking 17 grand quarter? It must be two-sided or something. I got to go through my old fucking change. Oh, yeah. You know, you've given away thousands of dollars without even knowing. I told you that happened with my niece. Yeah.

We're like, she found my old baseball card collection. Mm-hmm. And she opened it up. And she was like, Uncle Henry, can I have this? Like all the kids at school think baseball cards are like fun now. And I was like, yeah, sure, all right. And then it was like, oh, on a second. And I pulled it out.

I went through some of it. And I found this Baba Biniya rookie card from the Pittsburgh Pirates. Wow. And I fucking looked it up. It was like 750 bucks. right and I was like, give me this fucking call it's back. I was like, this is a game. It's a game

you're playing. You know I'm stupid. She was just like, I didn't know that they'd be worth a lot of money. I was like, this is fucking, yeah, I didn't know. She knew. I remember when I got all my cards back, you know, I'd like do giant Tupperware bins of cards. I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do with these things?

And I called up a couple card stores and they all are like, it's worthless. No, most of it's worthless. The rest of it's probably worthless. Most of it is because. Because in the 90s and 80s, they overprinted everything. But the old shit still is a lot of money. It's the thing. I got a Michael Jordan rookie card that was given to me by a pedophile

because he was grooming me. Cool. But that means I also have a Dominique Wilkins rookie card. Wow. Yeah. And the Michael Jordan I mean, that's the... And you never had to suck his dick. I never got molested. The hawks another predator. Andre Johnson's like, oh, he's the human highlight machine. Fuck.

But I never got molested, but I did get very valuable basketball card out of it that I still have. Are you going to sell it? Maybe someday, I don't know. I'd take it. Yeah, I'm not going to give it to you. Michael, you're going to buy it.

You can buy it from me. Let me fence it for you. No, buy it from me. No, give me, I'll give me a big. I'll give me a big. I'll go a little big. I'll go off. I got a guy.

I'll go down by the fucking wharf. I can get a guy. I don't need. Baseball cards are very easy to sell. I got your guy. I got the guy. Let's just say his name is. Let's just say his name's Tony.

Tony, the baseball card dealer down by the wharf. Yeah, my guy. Yeah. So San Francisco? Because that's the only wharf I could think of. It's Little San Francisco in L.A. Have you ever been a Little San Francisco? It's called Skid Row.

Down, downtown. That's pretty much all we got with the guy. He stole the gold cross. He stole the coins. But now they're in the process of investigating, like, what the fuck else did this guy steal? Of course. Oh, I'm sure all kinds of shit.

There's no way that's the only thing you sold. But that's the beginning of a horror movie. Never steal from the dead. I know that is like one of truly, I very few rules. And that's one of them. What if they've been dead like a long time? It's definitely no. Benchology.

U.S. CS Grant, you can steal from his shit. But I think that's why archaeologists don't get paid a lot of money because they're cursed. Then they should get paid a lot of money. No, it's the opposite. It's that that's, you like, you get your jollies. Right? That's all they're doing it.

doing it for the sexual pleasure. So are all museums, like, haunted men? I would, I find that you've seen, Indiana at the museum. Yes. And the, I see the, I see the realm of night. But, yeah, it's scary at a museum of night. You know, fucking Ben Stillers and me.

Anything, he thinks come alive. I would find the energy to be haunting. When we went, we had the private tour of the British Museum. The British Museums definitely haunted. There's just, there's just a concentrated energy there that is, It's wild. Yeah. The museum that I went to in Stockholm

that had the entire remains of an entire medieval battle, like all of their skulls and bodies and like they fucking, they showed like this guy, like they showed a dude's skull with the wound and it showed you exactly how he died.

Like this was the weapon that they used. This was how the fucking angle came down. God, was you embarrassed already. Yeah. That was all time. My whole life. All times.

People just filing through. This fucking guy refuses to defend. himself. Yes, Woosey. Now, yeah, now he's blazing

throughout the ages. Live from your blade. Well, I got a story that's a bit of a, it's a bit of a blast from the past

that somebody's finally paying for. Okay. The former mayor of Oceella Mills. Do you know Ocella Mills? No.

I don't know. She was sentenced to prison time after. Oceola Mills. Oceola. That's a Florida word. It's a, indigenous word.

Asiola. But it's happened. It happened in Pennsylvania. she was sentenced to prison time after firing a gun at Pokemon Go players in 2022. Man, in 2022? Yeah. That was after the craze. It was after.

People still do it. Oh yeah, of course. People were still Pokemon going. Yeah. Ida Reams was sentenced Monday. Mayor Reims. That's great.

Mayor Reims was sentenced Monday, December 11th to up to one year in jail plus 18 months probation. That's it. One year for attempted murder? Well, for her 2022 outburst against two people playing Pokemon Go. Outburst? It'd be different if you drove past him

and called. I don't know what a good slur is for Pokemon people, but the idea of driving past and yelling just going, nerd! Then shooting at them. The incident happened at the community food bank on Lingle Street.

In the original criminal complaint, police listened to the 911 call and said that Reims audibly told the duo to get out right. now and that she would quote fucking kill them. This is at the food bank? At the food bank on Lingle Street. She worked there?

Yeah, she was just there. Well, community food bank is probably where you'd be doing volunteering. Well, the man said that he and his friends were playing Pokemon Go when Reams came out of the community food bank, noticeably intoxicated and started yelling at them. It is kind of offensive

to be like running around a food bank trying to catch Pokemon with your iPhone. I will say. I guess so. saying that she did the right thing. It seems like it was public land. Yeah. Can you get fucking liquor at the food bank? I think she brought liquor to the food bank. She probably got that at the

liquor bank. Yeah, yeah. Went to the fucking, the liquor grocery store or whatever. What is this? But after the people called 911 heard her saying that she'd fucking kill them, they heard two gunshots and the call disconnected. Yeah. So they thought that they were, the police thought these kids were fucking dead.

Yeah, she's lucky she didn't get killed when they showed up. Yeah. But you know what? She respectively stood down as mayor of Osceola Mills in 2021. She said basically she won enough. Hold on, hold on. She was the actual mayor? She was the former mayor.

Two term. Two term. Yeah. Popular. Yeah. Osceola Mills. Wow. One in 2013. One re-election in 2017. I like her because she's real. I think there's more to the story. I think these kids did something.

I think he's blaming the kids. I think these kids set her off and we're not learning about something else that happened. I think that Mayor Reims should have taken the opportunity to be above. She is out of line. Yes. She's shot at children. Yeah, but I think that...

Because you know, Gurney, our beloved PA here, Tirso, they're a Pokemon Go person. Yeah, of course. And there's nothing wrong with being Pokemon Go person. Do you think that Kelly deserves to get shot at? I'm not saying that these kids deserve to shot at. I don't think so. I don't think so. I think there's more to the story.

The thing is, they're following. the Pokemon's, right? They're going after the Pokemon's. Like, grab her pussy and shit. Like, oh, what's up, bitch? You used to be the man. You're nothing. That would be in the order. But we don't know. It's all hearsay. So I put it in the order. Also, I believe you do need permission from the Pokemon people to put a monster in the

side of your pussy. Here's what's interesting, though. I found another report that said that referred to the two people playing Pokemon Go as two men. Oh. So I don't know if they're kids or not. This is misogynist. Okay. Men can play Pokemon Go.

They might be a little older because we're talking about them like they're a bunch of kids. But guess what, man? Whatever gets you out of the house, it's just Pokemon Go. And they were just in a parking lot. So you're allowed to be in the parking lot. It's not like they're frolicking on the front steps of the food bank. Don't businesses have to approve? Isn't that real with the Pokemon goes?

Like, don't they have to do the thing? Be like, yeah, you could have one of the Pokemon's or things in my establishment. Like, that's okay. I think you have to have if you go inside. Yeah. Yeah. So it's outside. It's fine.

It's a parking lot. Yeah, it's a parking lot. Were they just walking through looking for the monsters? So I just wandering around the parking lot, looking for the monster, yeah. I find the offense of how many are at Pearl Harbor. Through a lot. Let me look that up. Pokemon Go.

Pokemon go to Pearl Harbor. There has to be, right? Don't they have them everywhere? Yeah, but they're just in the water. Okay, here we go. Okay, Pokemon's spawning on military base question. As is well known, Pokemon did not spawn on most, if not all military bases without a lure module at a pokey stop. Because something was a change because I just caught three within five minutes that spawned without a lure

and not at a pokey stop on a base where they never spawned before. So these Pokemon's are jumping into our military bases. We got to fucking stop this fucking shit. Yeah. Yeah. This is not good. We're getting invaded from the inside, from Pokemon's. I have some interesting further information about this case.

And you were right, Ed. It might be a little more complicated than we thought at first. In January 2020, a plea required she served seven days to one year in the county jail for these charges. After this was rejected, she was back in court in March for a sentence of four months home detention. By the way, she's got cancer. She wants to die in peace. This is also rejected in the case schedule for jury selection.

Oh, she doesn't want to die in war? But when the trial was set to begin in October, officials discovered neither of the victims were available to testify. One had been subpoenaed but didn't show up for court and the second could not be located after he was released from state prison in an unrelated case. These are bad dudes. This might actually be. Wow, you actually might be right. They might actually be bad guys. At that time, District Attorney Ryan Sayers commented that the victims have been hostile since the beginning of the case, which was one of the reasons they withdrew two counts of aggravated assault at that state.

agent offered the other two plea agreements. Interesting. According to the affidavit, Reams called police saying she was in the parking lot at the corner of curtain and lingal streets. She claimed, well, okay, this is where it gets a little dicey. You don't really know it with this. She claimed two men were looking suspicious.

So she asked where they were from and why they were there, do not know the races of the people involved here. But she explained that she was, quote, receiving a lot of harassment in this town. And she was, quote, unquote, done, adding that, it's going to be bad. Whoa. She was clearly intoxicated.

So I think this may have more to do with her being just a paranoid person thinking that the town's out to get her. Sounds complicated. And being like really fucking drunk. And I think there might be a lot of assholes in this story. Yeah. I think everybody's not. I think the only person that's okay in this whole thing is Pikachu. Because there's a lot of rules here.

Apparently they were showing up on military bases. Pokemon Go's were showing up in military bases and they were having problems because people were getting car accidents on military bases while playing Pokemon Go. and actively serving in the military. Ah, I see. That's a bad idea. Yeah, but it's also just... Data aggregator! Free training. I'd say, you know, capture.

See, I think it'd be cool because I think pokey balls. Right? Yeah, that's a thing. It's not pokey balls. That's part of it. That's what I like. I like a pokey bowl.

Of course, who doesn't. Yeah, but a pokey ball. I mean, is that what that is? That's what they call it? A pokey ball? Yeah, they have balls. They capture the monsters in them? Do they wrap? Yes.

Yeah. Okay. And there we are. There we are. I don't know anything about these Peacchews, man. I got one last story. Yes. You can find anything inside a Warren couch,

including a Florida fugitive who spent weeks on the lamb for a probation violation for the sale of fentanyl. Cool. Police have been searching for Stacey Usher, 39 since early November for allegedly breaking her probation by selling fentanyl and unlawfully using a two-way communication device. So apparently she was barred from using a cell phone. She was recently named the Sheriff's Office's Warrant of the Week

with her mug and charges posted on social media. On Tuesday, her game of hide-and-seat came to a crushing-in when she was found stuffed tightly inside a couch where she tried to evade capture by burying herself under the cushions. I'm just a bunch of M&Aves. Sounds like what's his name, Danny DeVito, from Always Sunny.

Yeah. I want to show you a... Let me see this woman. A picture. Oh, she's in there. Yeah. Wow. Hyden Sheeat champion has been felled.

Yep. Because that's a hard way to go. How long she thought? I guess when the fentanyl... When the fentanyl really comes into play, yeah, it's this idea of, I'll just be a couch. I'm a couch.

I'm a couch. You can't arrest me. I identify as a couch. As long as far as I was concerned, you're not the furniture police. What does fentanyl do to you? Like, what is it? Like, what's the high?

It makes you super relaxing. It's like coating, oxycodone. It's not necessarily a high as much as it is a numb. Then why do they put it in blow? Isn't that counterproductive? It's all bad. There's a reason why. I can't remember exactly what it is, but there is a reason why.

Why do they actually, I look it up. I do, partially think it's because- I hate that you forgot your computer. Yeah, yeah, why do they use the cut Cetanol and cocaine? Why is Cometh. Why is fentanyl awesome to cut cocaine with? Well, I know that the reason why they cut fentanyl with cocaine and why it's a big problem

is because cocaine, heroin are both dependent on plants. They have to be made from coca seeds or coca beans or seeds or Kimmer, which was the coca plant. Or poppy seeds. Where fentanyl can be, is like meth, it can be manufactured anywhere. So they can manufacture fentanyl. They can manufacture meth, but cocaine and heroin, that takes a lot more production.

According to this ABC News article, it's because number one, fentanyl is not, doesn't always kill people, just a lot of times kills people because it depends on what you're, what the purity of the fentanyl and what your tolerance levels are. Also, apparently just straight up fentanyl's cheaper. Yeah. And so they use it like, they used to use baby laxative. Yeah. But actually, baby laxative actually sounds like a much healthier up, you know.

It just makes you shit your pants. I never shut my pants. I was full of baby laxative in the late 2000s. You also, I didn't think you ate it. I think it's when a fat guy does a bunch of cocaine that the diarrhea comes into play. Yeah. Look at Artie Lang. Yeah. Yeah, how many dogs can you put in you? You know, you weren't doing that.

Seriously, you're already lying the only guy who got fatter on cocaine and heroin. It's crazy. That takes it a feat. It's impressive. That's probably what kept him alive, to be honest with you, is that he was actually eating food. Could be. Yeah. So you learned a lesson here today.

We learned a lot. Your computer learned a lot. Yeah. Your search history has definitely been altered. Yes, which I really happy for. But, you know, just don't do it. And for this New Year's Eve, if you're going out there and you're going to have, you're going to try to do a little e-a-a-a-a-a-a-powder there, right?

You're going to be the nanny. group get those test string strips it's the test strips it doesn't matter it's a new day it's a new day you can get it's a new day you can get them on amazon for fuck's sake yeah yeah yeah or just don't do the coke i yeah yeah yes absolutely you know what works for me what espresso espresso yeah yeah just one nice so nice it's a couple fucking you have a little chill you go you have a little pasta you don't mean that little espresso right yeah sleep upside down yep yeah Thank you for joining us. A new year for all of us.

You know, and I think it's important. We're going to fucking blaze the last year. And then set fire to the new year. I think that's important. It's like everyone always says like, oh, 2024. This is my year. Be like, no. Right?

Be like, no. This is no one's year. It's going to be a real rough year. I mean, they have been getting progressively worse, even though the pandemic's kind of over. But every day. What are you talking about? We know like six people with COVID right now.

It's true. It's true. You're right. Yeah. It's rip it through. It's out there. Yeah. But 2024,

you know, maybe we'll get one positive take, though, is that every day is a new opportunity to fucking fuck something up. Hell yeah. And you just choose what that is. Or to build something up.

Yeah. Yeah. Fucking create some shit. That's a great idea. And you can fuck some shit up while you're building shit up. That's the idea, man. Fuck other dumb shit up. Make new good shit up.

That's right. Amen. Oh, yeah. This is going to be great. That's going to be awesome. Yeah, yeah. Let's get through this year together. Yeah. Oh, God.

We will. Australia. Australia can't. Wait. And we're also, we're in the process of booking a shitload of dates here in America. Merciful. In the next few months.

So we will be announcing tour date soon. I'm getting healthier. You know, I'm a fucking long COVID. It's still there. It's still fucking with him. But I'm getting better. Yeah. Well, it's planning and doing it right.

Rather than, you know, insanely. Yeah. Rather than insanely going out. Blonde, like rather than blindly going out without knowing exactly what's wrong with me and trying to do it and almost dying in the process. Yes. Yeah, yeah. That was a bad idea. But also check out, Operation Sunshine, our new comic book is out there.

Issue 3 had just come out. Yes. Please get it from your local comic book store. It is out. Yep. Go and check it out. We love that. We put a lot of work into it.

We can't wait for you to read this entire fucking thing. We had a great show with the knitting factory. I know that we did. It was unbelievable. And I think that's it for now. and then in probably towards the end of January Twitch.tv slash LPNTV

is going to have a full pant load of new material We have new stuff developing We're going to do a full core press And like I can't wait for you guys to see What is cooking up in the LPN Laboratories Hoopo Goo Goo games coming, baby

It's gonna be fucking sweet A bunch of new shit So hell sweet Satan Go on how game Hail Mayor Reims Yeah I don't know I don't think we're

I love her. We don't know enough about Mayor Reams and who she considers suspicious and why. The views of the words do not reflect the views of the last podcast. I love you. You literally say Hail Geek. Who cares what she did. He gave us an excellent content. I explained that in our book.

I explain it in our book. It's explained. And that which would make a great Christmas present. If you forgot to get someone a Christmas Christmas. Yeah. Last book on the left. He's got there. I've only seen it on a couple of discount shelves.

I think there's a fair amount of remainder's out there. So go to A-books and get it on discount. Get it. Bye, everybody. Bye. See you next year. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors.

You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.