Last Podcast On The Left - Relaxed Fit: True Crime Roundup - Nightmare at 40,000 Feet
Episode Date: November 18, 2023Giddy on up - it's time for another one of them True Crime Roundups... This week the boys are wranglin' up a slew of true crime tales starting off with a nightmarish situation on an Alaska Airlines fl...ight as a mushroom-tripping pilot causes nearly catastrophic chaos, the Polish man who pretended to be a mannequin to steal from a clothing shop, the Italian prisoner named too obese for Jail, the Nebraska funeral home worker who stole a dead man's sex doll, and much, much more...
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There's no place to escape to.
This is the last talk on the left.
That's when the cannonball is started.
What was that?
I like out today's episode supposed to not be heavy or scary, right?
You know what?
True crime round uh yeah and we you know we're kind of like you know we'll like to see some fun true crime stories and get into it and then you
Showcase hmm the scariest story I've read it months
Really I would get big I would guess that would be the mushroom trip one. Yeah
That's a scary ass story
You have you not read any of these no, I wanted it to be a surprise
I wanted to bring it to a roundtable stall, but he doesn't know anything. That's great. I like to keep you a virgin
What a great function what a great third mic welcome last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen. I'm Marcus Parks
What a great third Mike welcome last podcast on the left ladies and gentlemen. I'm Marcus Parks
I'm What's up?
But this story this is not gonna be pleasant for you Eddie because this is horrible. Are you afraid of flying?
No, I love it.
No, but it's not about it.
I'm not afraid of flying, but I'm afraid of people.
Of course.
And what they do.
This is very much a story about the human element.
The human element gone wrong.
How one guy can really fuck things up for a lot of people.
Is she Sherman bastard?
Yes.
And also probably the guy with the Malaysian flight, but we don't really know.
That's still a mystery.
They're saying they do believe that it was purposefully downed.
Oh, but we don't know why.
Maybe the blindfold got in the way.
I tried to show everyone how good of a pilot I am.
I can do it by sticking his hand out the way now, like feeling the air drift.
Let's do it.
The off-duty pilot who almost brought down a passenger jet while tripping on magic mushrooms
has broken his silence over the quote unquote, imaginary journey that almost ended in tragedy.
I can't believe he's allowed to break his own silence.
I, but this is a scary ass story.
And also, he wasn't currently tripping on mushrooms.
Well, I mean, it is debatable as to whether he was still suffering from the effects of
hallucinogens.
He hated six days earlier, two days earlier.
That's still, no, for mushrooms, this is given mushrooms a bad name.
It's not a cycle path and he's fucking calling it out on the mushrooms.
We'll get there.
We'll find out.
We'll get there.
Joseph Emerson, 44, said he took the psychedelic drugs two days before the fateful flight
on October 22nd, while on a weekend getaway to remember his best friend.
Yes.
And that, I think, is, you know, we always talk about with psychedelics, set in settings.
This guy was out and on like somewhat of a trip with his buddies to remember a buddy,
like the best man at his wedding had died.
Yes.
In 2018, his, his one of his best friends. And he, his, even his wife said he
was never the same. But he is a true blue pilot. Joseph Emerson was the sky that was, he
dreamed and trained to be a pilot his whole life. He was really, really excited about it.
But I guess I was sort of reading, because in the New York Times articles that was about
this man, talking about the interview with him.
One of the thing that came out was that I guess with pilots, they're not, well, how do
you put it?
You can go and say you're having mental health issues to your boss, but if you go on
medication, if they decide to, for a while, for a long time, you were not allowed to have
any sort of mental health issue that involved medication and be a pilot at the same time.
Yeah.
They didn't allow it.
But then he went in.
He was like, I've been sad ever since my friend died.
And so like, well, you know, we could get you a medication, but that grounds you.
They actually now it's they put you on a period of sort of like they watch you for a while,
but it turns out he was sad for like a minute and then didn't really do anything about
it because he didn't want to lose his momentum in his career.
Yeah.
I mean, it's hard to find pilots to these days.
There's a pilot shortage.
They're always going on fucking strike.
They're underpaid.
I don't know, honestly, I went to the Barney's Beenerine.
I've met like 15 of them.
Yeah.
Well, the Alaska Airlines pilot and father of two
says he was in a sleepless stupor for the next 48 hours
after taking mushrooms, questioning reality
while suffering repeat panic attacks.
In an interview with the New York Times from County Jail,
Emerson offered a disturbing glimpse
into the bizarre near catastrophe
where he almost killed 83 people, urinated on himself,
stripped naked, tried to masturbate
to break him out of his own stupor.
I've done it before and it works.
Get the devil out.
You got to.
It's evil in your body.
You got to fucking let it leak out.
Let your penis be your guide.
And he tried to flee custody.
He's facing 83 accounts of attempted murder,
one for everyone on board.
Yeah, he's fucked.
He's very fucked.
So he apparently he took these mushrooms.
And he was hanging out with his buddies.
And he said in the middle of it, he became,
which I know this very feeling.
He said that he did a big bonfire.
And they did the very classic.
It was six days before he was gonna be on a plane again.
And they were sitting with him and they're like,
you know, we're here for this weekend.
You should try mushrooms.
And he had never done mushrooms.
He said he even avoided when guys were smoking weed.
He leave.
44 is way too old to do mushrooms for the first time.
Like with buddies.
Like I know like right now mushrooms are doing really well
with sort of what do you call it?
Psychiatric health, but that's like under the care of a doctor.
That's great.
But just doing it with your buddies,
like while your laser focused on the death of your best friend,
it's a bad idea.
And like your random bro doesn't exactly know,
because every bag of mushrooms is different.
All of them are different.
You know, they're always so you never know how much to really take.
You're here's a little tip free of people.
If there's a lot of blue in there, that's going to be a wild ride.
Oh, yeah.
A little one that is all blue is way, way stronger than a big one that is mostly white.
No flakes are good, dude.
Gold flakes. That's how you know it's going to be fucking killer. You're like, fuck yeah, bro. No flakes are good, dude. Gold flakes.
That's how you know it's going to be fucking killer.
You're like, fuck yeah, bro.
But we're talking about when it goes wrong.
No, this guy, he, he, well, his, the problem is I actually, I push back.
I don't think that the age is the issue.
I think it's, what you're saying, it's a mount.
Is that you, when you go and you go get micro dose treatment from an actual psychiatrist,
they measure it out.
It's all ground out. It out, it's all ground out,
it's grown in a lab, it's like made specifically for it
and they do it in very precise amounts.
And it's what we also know,
what you'll say about any drug, take less than you think
because you can always take more, you can't untake.
That's what you've already taken.
Yes.
And so it sounds like he took the drugs
and he was like, this is cool. This may be helped me.
And then he became fixated on the flames.
And he got deep into the bonfire.
Well, I mean, nothing looks cooler than a bunch of fire when you're on mushrooms.
But then he said he started to slide.
It started going up and like, this is groovy.
It cool.
But then he did the thing where he thought about every mistake he's ever made.
Never a good idea.
But good, it's hard.
It's hard to do it because it gets us like a bell.
And you don't know where that horse is going to go sometimes.
Well, especially if your buddy's just sort of leaving you alone to stare into the fire.
And also you got to tell people.
So yeah, that's the thing.
You've got to use your words.
Yeah, you got to type it with the, but not like freaking out.
Yeah.
Here's the words.
I'm freaking out of here, man.
Yeah.
Well, the other thing I always tell people is like,
if you start to freak out, remind yourself,
you have taken drugs and you can think about this again
in four to six hours.
Yeah, it's gonna be over.
It's holding drug experience,
it's gonna be over unless you're Joseph Emerson
and then the last or a bunch of days
that you try to kill everybody in a plane.
Yeah.
He was off duty and should have had an easy flight
to San Francisco ahead of him.
Yes.
He sat up in the cockpit.
So he wasn't actually flying the plane.
But the other pilots, he quickly showed of signs
of erratic behavior.
And as the plane reached cruising altitude,
I don't know why I relate to this so much.
I know this moment.
He threw off his headset and declared,
I'm not okay.
Yeah.
Oh no, I know the exact feeling. So he said he walked into the airport. The first
thing was, and this is how he knows, there's also a good for you to know when you know,
whether or not it's good for you to start driving at after a party. When he walked into
this airport, he was like, everything's different, but it's wrong. And they're saying like
securities like doing it wrong. Yeah. This is not the way she
got. They're doing it out of order. They're saying weird things to me. He started saying,
I'm not understanding what people are saying to me. He's keeps texting his wife just being
like, I'm not doing good. I'm like, which I've been in a panic state. We're being like,
I just want to fucking be back with you, baby. Yeah. Yeah. You know, and she's just like,
you know, it's getting intense.
And then he goes into the airport.
He said, nothing was done right.
And then he got on and then he was texting with his wife on the plane.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Basically, then he said something to his buddies being like, going back for, I think
something's going on with me blah, blah, blah, when the last message is, and then finally,
he just threw the headphones off.
Well, what happened is that he got a text to voice message in his, he was, he had
AirPods on and he, he got a text in and it read the text over his AirPods and for some
reason, that freaked him out.
I don't know what it was.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
I don't like it.
And it's probably one of those where you know, like Google News alert, Colin, you know,
like a long headline.
You have those ones where it just said you some weird spam one and it reads every letter
of it and then your plastic.
Assuming your body.
It is me, Andrea Schmitz, and I'm asking you for your donation.
The only thing that stands between us and tyranny is $4, sent to me, Andrea Schmitz.
No, it's always them sit there, like listening to me. Andryish Nits.
No, it's always a sit there like listening to something
and have a really good time really getting into it.
And it would be like message from Ed Larsen.
Oh, you're a big meat.
Look at this crocodile, it is big.
Would you like to respond?
Yeah, get away for me.
It's very accurate. Would you like to respond? Yeah, I can't stop. Get away from me.
It's very accurate.
Well, suddenly, Emerson grabbed the planes overhead emergency fire suppression handles, leading
to a desperate struggle between himself and the pilots to keep the jet in air.
Yeah.
So he said that he felt he was caught in a dream.
Yeah.
And he didn't know if anything was real or not.
And then he was going to be like, you're not real, you're not real.
Bad.
That's two times a year.
We got people calling people not real on a plane, not good.
I think it says something about the elections cycle coming up, the air madness.
The air madness can't wait to start going back on tour.
And so he said, you're not real.
And he said the way to prove that this was not real was to try to kill himself and everybody
in this plane.
So that pull handle is what cuts the gas immediately to the engines in case of fire.
So he pulled it.
They all freaked out.
They called it in a medical emergency.
He tried to pull it.
He didn't pull it, but they ended up having this other thing, but then he begged to be tied
down.
Well, first before he begged to be tied down,
he started walking up and down the aisles of the plane.
He's like, nobody's bothered.
Nobody's bothered.
Nobody's bothered.
Nobody's paying attention to me.
I think this is still a dream.
Like he has not, he still hadn't yet.
Fuckin' it.
Well, is he dressed like a pilot?
I don't know.
You, well, yeah, I think you do have to have it.
If you're gonna sit in the cockpit.
I believe you have to have a universe, which is again, I'm
seen a pilot just fucking stress pace around the body of an airplane. I'm pulling the
fucking emergency hand off. You get me off this fucking plane. I need my pilot to literally
be unflammable. Yeah. I understand that like, tie me down thing. Oh, sure. Yeah.
Like, is he even flipping out?
You know, you're flipping out.
I remember not to go back into the whole getting arrested thing.
I remember when I was getting arrested by an undercover cop, uh, he like, he like had
a gun in my face and he got me on the ground and like, and I went on the ground.
He's got a gun pressing.
That's the back of my head.
And then I see them storm my friend's apartment.
I hear a gunshot.
They shot a dog.
I'm like, are you a cop?
And he's like, yeah, he's a guy actually.
Yeah, I was like,
I'm flipping out.
Yeah, that's what I'm gonna do.
So stupid if you don't fuck a cuff me.
That's what he did.
Yeah.
Well, this guy said that he had that sort of thing
that you have.
I thought a lot of traumatic things in that time
where I was like, am I dead?
Is this hell?
And guess what guys, you're never dead.
No.
It's never hell.
No, like it's just. Cause you won't be thinking those thoughts. It's your buddy's room. You know how thoughts. Yeah, you know guys you're never dead. No, it's never hell. No, like it's you won't be thinking those thoughts
It's your buddy's house thoughts. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna be dead. Yeah
I wear every you are you ain't thinking like Joe anymore
Well in the timeline what happened next it's alleged that the pilots grabbed hold of his wrists after he pulled the emergency stop and
Shunted them back into place before the engines cut off in a terrifying near miss.
So I guess he did pull it, but they were able to put it back in a place.
Emerson then left the cockpit quickly and walked down the plane where he still thought he
was dreaming as no beyond board seemed to be aware of or have any reaction to his attempt
to bring the plane down on the ground.
Police rushed the Portland runway after a pilot warned, we've got the guy that tried
to shut the engines down out of the cockpit.
He was cuffed and restrained to the jet, but had enough space to move around that he chugged straight from a pot of coffee
as he continued to act erratic.
Exactly.
That's a perfect time to announce Spring Hill Jack's new coffee line Reptilean in the morning.
Justin Kays, you two are looking for the strength
of the entire flight attendant team.
Have reptilian in the morning.
You'll be ready to go.
And apparently that did wake him up
because he said he was able to reach his phone
and send a text to his friend from the getaway
where he told them,
I'm having a mental breakdown
and tried to turn off both engines on my flight home.
And a separate text to his wife, he simply said,
I've made a big mistake.
See, that shows clarity began to set in.
But he did remove his clothes,
and he had to cover it himself in his own piss, right?
He tried to jump out of a window,
he urinated on himself and attempted
to masturbate and crazed efforts to wake himself up.
I think he was on the ground.
Oh, yeah.
Once he was on the ground, he stripped naked, he tried to jump out of a window. They had him in a holding room and he tried to jump out of a window on an airplane. I think he was on the ground. Oh, yeah. Once he was on the ground, he stripped naked,
he tried to jump out of a window.
They had him in a holding room and he tried to jump out
of a window.
Then he urinated on himself and he tried to jerk himself away,
which is a weird way.
But he's on trumps, so his pathways are running differently.
It's been days.
He's no longer on trumps.
But seriously, some
people psyched Alex, they're not for everybody. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no obviously wait. Man, he got the fear. He got the fear and it did not leave him.
I think you'd get one cap.
Yeah. Yeah.
Then build it.
You start with a bit.
This is this is this is the most interesting part.
His wife Sarah stretch added that when he called her from custody,
he was so out of his mind, he began singing boys to men's hit song.
It's so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
I mean, that is one of those.
You could, that's a scary song in that context.
You know what I mean?
Like, that's a good, how does that song go again?
It is so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.
Yeah, we're not gonna be able to,
we're not gonna be able to,
we're not gonna be able to,
we're not gonna be able to,
we're not gonna be able to, we're not gonna be able to, we're not gonna be able to, we're not gonna be able to, we're not gonna be able to We can't hit boys to men harm
That's one of the only sudden that's video to people on their birth to
I love that. That's my good too. I actually can't believe that's one of the only boys to men songs that I'm not that familiar with
Oh really? Yeah, it was the most popular one. Maybe if I just hear it again. That's all about dead people
Yeah, it's a funeral song, right?
That's a funeral song.
I know that, you know, the, what's it?
The, uh, graduation.
Do we go to the end of the road?
He's had a lot of songs about dead friends down.
Unbended knees about dead friends.
Is it?
Downtown Philly, everyone.
Back up.
Everyone in downtown.
And I think that like we need not air marshals, but every flight should have a bouncer.
Psychite.
I think the pilot is direct line to the bouncer.
We need this guy restrained.
That guy's going to get laid.
Oh, he came up there, tatted out, just been like, yeah, my job is just make sure you see
That soft spot, you know, mean, he's got the kind of Vin Diesel tattoos. Yeah, you put him
You make sure he's the only guy in the plane who never sits down. Yeah, he always stands at the front with the the bouncer
Look where he's crossed your legs. Yeah, exactly. He's strapped his legs in
The other side
The plane is like I do
You're the other side. Do you think the other side you went across with the other side?
You're low in the plane.
He's like, I do.
We're gonna do tonight.
Hey, I filmed tonight doing good.
You bet too much.
No, you bet too much.
I mean, like looking back more than being credible.
Yeah.
Cutting people off when they drank too much.
Yeah.
We need bouncers on flight.
He's just another flight attendant.
Yeah, but his job is to just make sure
no one gets out of hand.
Yeah.
It's huge.
And I can actually see a very large woman as well.
Yo, absolutely.
Oh, man, nothing's scarier than the small bouncer though.
Yeah.
Well, small bouncer's got training.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
you can put you in like a scissors holder, whatever that's called.
Yeah, arm bars and shit.
Yeah, yeah, you just put it like in the fine print every time you buy an airline ticket
that you may be restrained on this flight if you fuck up.
Yeah, we're like, yes, please.
Yeah, you see those guys, We're like, yes, please.
Yeah.
You see those guys been like, I'm be bad.
I'm a bad little guy out of flight.
I'm going to need to be restrained.
I had a lady next to me have to get restrained once.
She just like, she came on hammered on pills.
I'm like, I started drinking at the bar and I was like, Oh, this woman is hammered.
And then I started walking on my plane.
I was like, fuck.
And then she sat across the aisle from me. And then at some point in the flight from LA to New York, she decides
to fucking just start screaming and like scratching the girl in the middle seat, like scratching
her face, like, like bleeding out of her face and shit. When was this? This was like a year
and a half ago. And then, and then they had the, and then literally some poor flight attendant
had to go over
there and literally hold her down for three hours. So we didn't have to land early.
She's, you know, so we like this good flight attendant. That's a great flight attendant.
Yeah. And I told them, I'm like, I saw a drink at the bar. She got hammered. There's her friends
in the back because I saw she was getting hammered with her friend and I ratted her out.
They give me 50 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You got a good one.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
That's hilarious.
I saw the strangest video the other day of like this dude that was nodding off on an
airplane and was barely conscious and he just pulled out a pack of smoke and just lit up
a fucking cigarette right on the airplane and like he's sitting there and he's like smoking
like and someone comes up like the flight attendant comes
and like taps him on the shoulders like
and just sort of points and he goes.
Yeah.
Like he's got really scared.
He's got what a hell he was.
He literally just forgotten where he was.
He was just in a chair someplace else.
Yeah, he was in chair someplace else.
He's like fuck fuck fuck fuck.
That is fucking.
Oh, go on, go on, go on. What that? It's like a thousand dollar mistake, right? Oh yeah. He's like fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck three counts of the attempt at manslaughter, he probably should at least not fly again.
Not in America.
No, no.
Set him to Malaysia.
Well, this boy, he says he's trying to be as transparent as possible as to what happened.
He's trying to tell everybody, hey, this is what happened.
I put the transparent transportation.
But you know what, Mrs. Dressh definitely said it wasn't the Joe I knew.
No. And I think that's
always good because you can imagine if it was like yeah that's Joe.
What are you doing?
Let me guess.
Let me get it was a Joe yeah I figured it was Joe.
He's always trying to crash the car.
That's him.
And you kept asking now is this situation real is this real he has to fly to Tinson's he
would just ask everyone like is this real and has to fly it to instance he would just asking everyone like is this real
And then when he was told what he had done he responded if this is real and all of that was real
The night done something that is unfathomable. Yeah very much so like man
Yeah, cuz it really did scramble his brains. Oh, it did it was bad for him. It was bad for him
Yeah, and again, I just you just can you can't, you got to know your limitations.
Yeah.
Also, I put this on his friends too.
I really, I put this 100% on his friends.
And you never know.
Every time I give a new person drugs, I sit there, I talk to him about it before they
do it.
You know, this is what happens if it goes wrong.
Like I'm here for you.
Like it's like, no, and you give them a little bit and you ease them in.
This friends fucked them up.
They were all out of his funny.
They were all adults.
Who fucking knows?
I think they have you're in there and you decide to take most rooms.
You just have to understand.
Have you run a pilot?
Have you're a pilot?
Again, we're comedians.
Technically, if I go insane for a while, nothing really happens.
No one will know.
You won't even know.
Wait until I have, everybody was on fire last year. Exactly. And I have dementia. No one's will know. You won't even know. Wait the last, every was on fire last year.
Exactly.
When I have dementia, no one's gonna know.
Everyone's gonna think it's a funny bit that I'm doing that you show up and like you know
when they wheeled me out to a retrospective for the in memory of podcasts 2006 to 2035.
It's gonna cut to me and then I'm gonna say to all I'm gonna be able to say, you know, it's got made my pants my shirt.
Look at all this old bag.
He's big.
He don't know it's a gripper helmet.
I'm gonna need to be in the home.
I'm gonna take my driver's license away from me.
He stretched all of his fingers out in a dimension written
raid and now he's big hand.
He's big.
Look, it's my massive hand.
But a pilot needs to really keep your head on tight.
Yeah, especially if you got a flight.
Like if you are on a three week vacation
and you're on day one, then yeah, mushrooms are good.
But if you got to fly in two days,
yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
that's not good at all.
That's a little close.
That's really close.
You never drinkin' that's close.
Well, yeah, eight hours is the cutoff for pilots.
Yeah, I mean, it should be 12.
Yeah, but I mean, that's the thing.
I wouldn't even take like a big dose of mushrooms if we had a big show in two days.
Mm-hmm.
Because I know it could possibly, you know, you, you, you, you, you, you,
Dr. Gibranos, but you've got shift for a little while.
It's a vacation drug.
Yeah, and you also do it yourself, you know, and I believe that we should be taking it
more seriously and more pointedly.
What, what, what, doing psychedelic trips with intentions in mind?
I like, I, you you know taken boomers for parties
Or fun, but I think it's important to think about your spiritual health. Yeah, I agree with that three days straight last week
Yeah, yeah, he's love I went to a jazz festival. I was fucking a great time
You're also in extreme experience
Psychedelic user. Yeah, I love my mushrooms. I started at 16.
I'm fine.
You have a layer of mushrooms around your belly,
like your giant beef Wellington.
No, you have a very strong mind.
You have a very strong will, which is what makes you very good
at doing magic mushrooms.
But if you're like grieving for your best friend,
I would never know.
No, I remember one time I did masculine after one of my good friend's mom died.
It was awful.
Yeah, it's really awful.
I was like, oh, never again, but that was like a learning experience that you do in your 20s.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And stuff's 44 when you're a fucking airline.
It's very hard on the, but on the other hand, he wasn't flying.
He was only supposed to ride, but even then I'd feel weird about doing a bunch of mushrooms
and then going on a plane for a while.
I did.
I could see how we chanced at though.
Yeah.
I mean, I did have a good friend, my friend Tom in college, like we came up to New York
for a CMJ, the big like college music journal.
They was a big festival they used to do.
And he like right before, like we got on a plane in Dallas and right before he looked over
at me, his pupils were like, the size of fucking saucers. And he's like, I just took a lot of acid.
But the thing was, is that Tom was an extremely experienced psychedelic user. He was a lot,
he was, he was an older student, he was older than us. He was great at what he did. Uh, but he
just sat there and just looked out the window for four hours.
And then like at the end of the flight, like he looked over at me and he's like, that
was incredible.
This is crazy.
That's only a quarter of the time left you have on F's.
No, and then, but that's the thing is that as we landed in the play, it was the first
time any of us had been in New York City.
We landed.
We took the fucking the shuttle like from Queens,
intimate, and we took it into Manhattan,
and the five's were so good.
All of us were like so excited and so cool.
And he just like, the band stops
and he just gets out and just goes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like he just fucking goes.
And he like comes back with weed.
Yeah, he's like, I guess we were magic like comes back with weed. Yeah.
He's like, you guys, you're a weird one.
Magic when you're on ask.
Yeah.
You just ask questions.
You just curious.
And I saw him like, because he brought a fair amount with him.
And like, I saw him like two more times, the whole, like, the five days that we were there.
And then like, we got back, we met, he showed up on time.
We met us like, man, how is New York?
He's like, you know, fucking good. This is a rare story. This is a rare story. The fact that he showed up back on time we met us like man, how is New York? He's like, you know, fucking good.
This is a rare story. This is a rare story. The fact that he's showing up back on time.
A lot of those stories end with being restrained in a currently down to airplane while two people
are your coming room and you're trying to ejaculate to get yourself out of a dream.
Tom was a rare bird though. Tom was a very, he was the first one he gave me mushrooms.
And he guided me on my first psychedelic trip. do is your responsibility. That's what I did with Wendy. When I
took her through her first trip, I'm a great dog, John.
But you guys ready for a Polish story?
Oh, man. This is a really funny stupid story.
A Polish man has been arrested after he pretended to be a mannequin in front of a store window
before stealing from the shopping center after it closed.
Do you see him in Borsov?
Look at this.
Look at this post.
I love this man.
He's a regular man.
He's holding a shopping bag out with his arm stretch.
He's giving himself a star.
He's got your arms to the side.
You're pulling.
So funny.
But it's also such a dumb hole.
This idea too. Let's see. I deal with like, I'm gonna stay in still.
No, no, no, no, no, no one did notice.
Well, no one noticed and tell the fuck there were CCTVs everywhere.
Well, the thing is is that you can stand there still all you want, right?
And you can people walk past you and be like, let's say guy act like a mannequin, but no one's gonna bother you. Meanwhile, he thinks he said they're gonna be like, these fuckers all think I'm a fucking mannequin.
I am crushed. You are a brief. You're smoking. You're smoking like saucer. You have your arm out for that log.
Sweat that hasn't been pouring off. I'm just sure you're the one said the queesque. What
is the name of that Polish beer? New York? Oh, quick. Yeah, quick. Yeah. Well, police said
the man went on to rob a jewelry stand once the shopping center had closed. On another
occasion, he went into a restaurant to eat before slipping under the roller shutters at the entrance to a store to swap his clothes
for new ones after he returned to have some more food. And he was eventually spotted by
security personnel who called the police because there's just a guy wandering around the
fucking mall, stealing shit and like breaking into the food court.
How is no one surprised and scared of new living manning?
How good no one say, have you not seen manicontrast.
This is me.
I have first mannequin with driver's license. First one to go to grocery store to push buck.
There's many king to spend the start stealing jewelry from outside store,
in which he is is it is home.
Please will also alleged the man stole from another shopping center where they say he took money from cash registers and tried to steal other items after it closed.
So he tried it once and it worked.
I am just an innocent.
I do not understand your rules and rules.
How can I be held subject to this when I've recently been plastic and now I am flesh?
I was princess in ancient times.
You know, the two, the two pop Polish robbery investigators like, you know, this is new realm
of rules.
We have never dealt with magical creature who has done petty theft.
How do we reason with him?
Do we have any scientist and pollen left? Can you please show me how you go back to Maniken?
Oh my God.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Well, he's not waking up.
So I guess maybe we can just go home now.
No, he really proved if he he is mannequin, don't know not.
Play with these balls.
Let us have sex with this man.
Oh my God, he is hard!
That's it. That's all I've said.
Dude's face in 10 years in prison.
Um, yeah, 10 years.
That's a lot for pretending to be a mannequin.
Well, it's all the left.
Yes.
It's a lot of for the theft grand larceny because he stole a lot of jewelry.
Oh, come on.
There was many, you know what it was to you.
I think it was the many stores.
Yeah.
And I feel like in Poland too, it's way more being like, we need
to discourage this type of fake man in activity. Once they see it, it's happening in this one
way and successful way because technically he had incredible night. They will all do it
10 years this way. I said, a couple months. I also feel like Polish prison is not where you
want to be. No. Oh, no, man.
I have no, you never know with those Eastern European countries.
I'm done.
They do it right.
Something is Polish prison bad.
Polish prison is probably just a mansion.
They don't know.
Oh my God.
Look at the inmates at a prison and pull in a face physical and mental torture, including
beating suffocation and waterboarding.
Yeah.
Yeah, but we do that here too.
Yeah.
It's not, no, it's not in comparison.
My Polish uncle was a jail guard in New Jersey, and I imagine that was probably brutal.
Yeah, I guess in nonviolent, they said they do it. If you're violent, it's more intense, obviously.
The fact that less cell causes attention, the better guards just need to do account. Oh,
oh, oh, here is this.
Paul prisons of Poland are generally overcrowded and underfunded the conditions.
Many facilities are poor with inadequate sanitation and medical care.
Again, not different from American prisons.
No, no, no, no, it's not that different.
But so I wouldn't want to do it.
No, I absolutely would not.
The overall situation in Polish prisons is a cause for concern for human rights organizations.
Oh, sure.
Where do you think prisons are worse in Georgia, the country or the state?
I say the country.
I don't know.
I think it's pretty bad.
The guy just got eaten at death by bedbugs.
Yeah, that's right.
That is bad.
That is a bad one.
That's a law.
But how much do we not know about what happens in Georgia?
Oh, nothing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We don't know anything about a Georgia in prison.
And I don't think that they're doing like Shakespeare plays.
I don't think they're teaching them how to cut hair. I don't think that John Waters isn't coming in
to teach them a cataride screenplays. No, I don't think so. At least we have that in some
states. Yeah. John Waters. Well, Georgia prison crisis worsens amid federal investigation.
Oh, yes, very much. That's not good. No, none of it's good. One state or country state.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they won't tell me about the country at all. There's because there's quite a bit of news about
Georgia, the state. Yeah, they were still using floppy disks for all their medical records.
My buddy was like fucking fighting them. Yeah, it's all backlogged and they refuse to fix
it. My God, he's got to do it. Yeah, and we're going to fix it.
I would last podcast and laugh that's going to do with our last podcast army.
We're going on there and we're going to open up these floppy disks to run to do it
ourselves.
You get down there, Stacey Abrams.
Yeah.
Stacey Abrams.
Cause she listens.
I can message all the time.
She actually had a lot to say about how if you can buy sex worker shit and mail it.
She did?
Oh, yes.
What was the, what was it she tell her personal opinion
or what the statute is in Georgia?
She says when she's always dealt with what she said,
it barely makes the envelope, she's too busy
just eating it like loads of bread.
I love her, I'm so glad to have her as a listener.
Now this is a matter of what an inspiring one.
She is.
She's very, she is.
Do you remember when we did the show before her?
Yes.
She was in the same venue with us the night, the next night that we were doing it.
We were doing a show in South Carolina or no, it was a Virginia.
That might have been Des Moines.
No, maybe.
No, it was East Coast.
Anyway, long story.
Long story short.
No, it was like, but it was around Georgia.
Long story short, we did a show like, but it was around Georgia long story short.
We did a show like it was our name on the marquee and it was like tomorrow, Stacy Abrams.
Yeah, but those Abrams heads were still like lining up.
They had a phone fingers.
Great night entertainment.
Her new fucking, have you seen her new special canceled?
It's in great.
It's crazy.
Just caution tape over her mouth.
It's amazing.
There is another guy who wasn't built for prison.
I love this story.
Okay.
Like talking about prison and when it's bad to be in prison, sometimes though, if you're
an Italian prison, it doesn't sound that bad.
Remember Bunga Bunga rooms?
Oh, yeah.
Well, he's dead now.
Yeah.
Yeah, Barlesconi.
That's sexy as president.
A judge recently released a 35 year old man from prison over health concerns with one
concern being that the 430 pound murderer would not be able to obtain a low calorie diet
while incarcerated in an Italian prison.
He ate his way out of prison.
That's the hero.
That's the fucking hero man.
I'm going to fucking, I'm talking about how fat you got to be in Italy.
Yeah.
Italy is surprisingly thin people.
Yeah, they look good.
He was in jail for stabbing his girlfriend 57 times because she reprimanded him for leaving
too many crumbs on a hotel bed.
But then he ate himself up and out of it.
Damn.
It's all coming up.
Demetri Ficano.
Demetri Ficano.
So Demetri, he couldn't get in and out of a cell anymore?
Or they just weren't able to take care of him.
They weren't equipped to deal because he had to use a wheelchair.
He went from a little over 250 to 430.
He had to use a wheelchair and crutches to move in the prison's layout is not well equipped
for those tools.
So they figure instead of retrofitting the entire prison. For him. For him.
Just fucking put an ankle bracelet on him, send him home and...
Ankle belt.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The preferred woman is like, they're like, they're devastated, they can't do it, but don't worry, the Italian,
this is, I love this, the Italian prison system.
As promised, the victim's family.
The day his weight drops enough
that we can fit him back into prison.
He's going right back in.
And they were all like, he, he, he's gonna stay a fat enough.
You know he's gonna stay a fighter now.
You're so sad, Dad.
Because he's gonna just feel like you can just him all these.
How?
How?
How?
It's so difficult.
You're so fat.
You're gonna be in heat.
It's all the walking.
Did you think Italian prison serve Italian food?
Like, isn't just like fucking hot food in spaghetti?
When I was in Italy for 10 days, I was like,
can I not eat spaghetti?
You moron!
That's a three-amigos joke.
Do you have anything besides Mexican food?
Yeah.
But no, it's just, it's just food there.
Yeah.
That's your weakhold in Italian food.
Those guys, they're just like, that's food. Yeah, the book of tally
Yeah, man, can you imagine how fun that is you saw good for us
He slays the guy like paper fence or melts since it's sauce. Oh, yeah
With the razor will raise your plate. These guys are fucking honestly. I bet you the food in prison there's not bad
Oh, I imagine it's great. What else they got to do? I mean, you got fresh bread best ingredients on the fucking
Fates of the planet or in Italy. Yeah.
According to the Alan, I'm sure the prison in Italy. Let's go.
This Italian tax evasion, which means paying taxes.
The court rule, the fricano is incompatible with the prison regime and that his incarceration makes it impossible for him to follow a weight loss diet.
No way.
No way.
No way for me to get to thin and you know what the mind's supposed to do.
It's covered in fucking all the croissant.
Why don't just don't don't feed him.
Well, they actually treat the priestess like human beings.
And the judges added that his chain smoking along with his quote unquote, massive size put him
at an inevitable risk of death.
He's a murderer.
I mean, the retreat one, they really do go for like you, you got to treat one this way,
you got to treat everyone this way.
Equal, equal, it is very much equal.
Oh my god.
As far as I know, I might be totally
talking out of my ass. So fat.
Natalie now. Everyone's just going to be so excited for this. All the prisoners. I, you
know, in the end, I think that they're so concerned with not being slovenly. I think I
do not even in a, in a, I throw judgment on fat people, but in Italy, I do think that
the concept is like they are so, they, they are not. They're beautiful people. They're very thin. And I don't know what it is. I don't know if I have people, but in Italy, I do think that the concept is like they are so, they are not. They're beautiful people.
They're very thin.
And I don't know what it is.
I don't know how.
It's because they don't eat processed food.
I know, but it's more than that.
There's something else.
They're walking everywhere.
I know, I watched it.
There's still air conditioning.
It's stupid fucking blue zone show.
Natalie made me watch.
I don't know anything about that.
It's the show that's all about the areas
where like the most people that are live to be a hundred like live and And each one they're all like, we don't know how they have
such longevity. Oh, it's in the Southern Italy where they don't have to have a job where
they just like everybody takes care of themselves and it's all walking and eating fresh, fucking
the most delicious food directly from the ground. They're like, yeah, yeah, they're fucking fine. You either fish, self fish or eat fish.
Yeah, those three jobs.
You wonder why we're all stressed with ourselves at death.
And in Italy, even their prisons are fucking beautiful
tourist attraction.
Some prisons in Italy are located in historical buildings,
such as old fortresses or monasteries.
Regina Coalie, the best known prison in Rome,
was previously a Catholic Convent built in 1654.
Holy shit.
That doesn't sound nice.
Yeah.
But when you go, if you're visiting, it's nice.
Yeah.
I mean, I did go when we were in Paris, I did go visit
Marie Antoinette cell.
That was awesome.
And it was awesome, but it also was not super comfy.
No.
No, it was weird, especially when they told the story about,
you know, the head, all that, we'll get into it with our
French Revolution.
See, I don't want to fucking, I don't want to ruin that because it's like one of the best
stories of the entire French Revolution.
It is a good story.
Yeah.
But yeah, prison is an Italy like they have, what did they have?
A kind of a bill of rights, they have to have healthy food.
That's amazing.
They spend at least two hours outdoors every day.
Aren't these guys supposed to be fascists?
Well, that was a long time ago.
No, and they are now.
They're far right.
Well, they're not technically,
they're not thinking that they're fascists.
They're just far right that are leaning towards fascists.
Because when we were in Italy a couple of years ago,
they did have fascists in charge.
And then nobody seemed to care.
Everyone was just like, I remember that one guy,
he was like, we are being run by the fascists.
We have been run by the communist.
It does not affect the people of Italy. And you're like, we are being run by the the fashions. We've been run by the coming is it. It does not affect the people of Italy.
You're like, where are you from? It's like, you touch my wife's like.
Well, Italy's current government is considered the most right wing since, you know, Mussolini.
Yes. Yeah. It's close. It's as close as it gets. Yeah. That was like the first time I ever
saw like lots of Antifa graffiti was when I was in Italy.
Yeah.
It's a very interesting country because it seems to be disorganized because the people
don't really reflect what's going on with the government.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I can't wait to go back.
I can't wait to go back.
I never been.
No, I want to go.
You got to go.
I got to go.
I'm going to go to Rome.
Oh, Rome's the best.
Yeah, great.
You're going to love that fresh piss smell.
I mean, I lived in New York for 16 years.
I know it's the same exact smell.
It's awesome.
I know fresh piss.
I know it from old.
I make it every day.
You gotta go to the car poochan.
What is it?
The kapuchin with the monastery.
The monastery with all the bones in the basement.
It was awesome.
I was gonna take pictures.
I checked one of the slides.
I didn't want to show it. I was there was there
And there was another there was a lady there like a French lady and I saw she was trying to like sneakily take a picture
I was like oh block oh block and I went and stood like this like
She's like I must take a picture before this bear of a man
He steals me
Well, I got a very interesting grave robbing story.
Yeah.
Back into it.
At point.
Yeah.
Got very much back into it.
Not an aquafelius story, but this is a very interesting grave robbing story for one reason
that sort of goes under the headlines.
It goes under the radar as to why this story is so interesting.
Okay.
St. Louis County prosecutors say two men are facing charges after they tried to dig up one
of their grandmother's remains from an area cemetery.
Okay.
So far I understand these guys, their names are Jimmy Allen and Zebuleun Nash.
Okay.
But what's interesting about them is that they're digging up their grandmother, but they're both
73 years old.
Whoa.
They just want to ask how heaven is.
Where should they park? I mean, that grandmother had to have died 20, 30 years before, maybe more.
So why are they digging up the body?
It was that she was buried with some jewels.
Well, of course, maybe.
Maybe Nash, apparently, he told the police that he was trying to recover his grandmother's
remains to relocate her.
And my boy was just helping me.
They were both the same age. Yeah.
Their brothers.
I guess he calls his brother as boy.
No, no, he didn't say that, but I'm just saying.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
It came out of itself.
But the thing is, yeah, you're saying to reload the, the ashes.
I feel like this is a long story that we are just now like at the end of like if we met
Zebulon Nash, this is going to be a long night.
Yeah, where he's going to explain why at that point,
why don't you just get her exo?
I think it costs money.
Why pay for it when you can do it yourself.
Does it cost money to get someone?
I don't know.
Is that a digger up?
Yeah, because if you did it for free, people be doing it all the time.
Like I move like seriously, like I'm moving from St. Louis,
Minnesota. I want to bring mine. I want to bring mine. I don't want to have to come all the way back here. So yeah, I'd like seriously like I'm moving from St. Louis, Minnesota. I want
to bring mine. I want to bring mine. I don't want to have to come all the way back here.
So yeah, I'd imagine it takes a lot of cash. That's why you can need a safe and each paycheck.
So if you look at this, these costs tend to range between five and 15 grand. So yeah,
that's how much it costs to exume a body. It says right here, exume a body process. You can buy
the form to do it from it. I guess attorney docs.com, we're only $25.
Okay.
You can fill out that form, get your mama exhumed,
and see them dead ass titties.
They're gonna be gone.
Long, long gone by this.
Yeah, but how long it's been?
It's just gonna be sitting comfortably
on the fucking skeleton.
See, that's valuable.
Yeah.
That's like, though, if you could reuse those,
those last first, the long time,
well, out of the silicone ones are being thrown up because of leaking
The old ones are stopping now they're doing saline and the truly uncommon ones the borscht
ones that are just oh yeah, yeah, Bush cold beat soup. Yeah
See you crain. Yeah, you crain and Poland. Yeah, you'd be surprised how life like it is
You know, it's like you know, you guys were in sketch comedy for a long time. Yeah. And you found those like weird things.
They're analogous to work. Yeah. Yeah. The that work is like, oh, yeah, like, you know, blood,
corn syrup and food coloring. Yeah. You wouldn't think that would work. You wouldn't think that
looks real. But it does. If you imagine a woman's breasts is too bagged, so they more thicker consistency
borched. I think, honestly, number one, it'll help some people if they're afraid of commitment,
get past that fear.
And I think the other side is just understanding
no matter what happens to you and your wife,
if you got to, you just cut off one of them nipples
and you got sweet, delicious, Borst,
if you're starving.
I can't tell if you're lying to me or not.
I am lying.
Do you really think, honestly, Eddie?
I would just fill, I don't know if it works.
Breast implants with borched.
Borched.
Yeah, I can't be.
I've only had borched once or twice.
It's not, I don't like it.
It was, I loved it.
I loved borched.
Yeah.
But that does raise an interesting question.
You ever seen that Herschegorgen Lewis movie Gorgor Girls?
No.
Great exploits and exploitation classic.
But there is one scene in which the killer comes in
and he cuts off a woman's nipples,
or if not, he, I mean, I don't wanna spoil that,
but, you know, it's like they cut off the woman's nipples
and out of one shoots a bunch of milk
and the other one, chocolate milk.
Oh, interesting.
I think I said a text you once of the scene.
Only in my dreams.
Only in my dreams man.
No, I don't work with that.
And then she boiled and then the killer like boiled the victim's head and like it looked
the victim was like boiling a bunch of French fries on the stove.
And so she got you know her face shoved into the French fries.
Yeah, Herschel Gordon Lewis.
He's a sleeper.
You should check him out.
He's great.
Yeah, except for the gruesome Tucson.
That one's just okay.
That's one about like a guy and his crazy mother
and they run a wig shop together.
And so they lower college girls into their wig shop
so they can kill them and shave their hair
and sell their hair as wigs.
You're the busiest person I know.
Where, how do you find the time to wash?
These are over all the years.
I spend a lot of time alone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Honestly, I don't know what you got on those.
I mean, Carolina, like we do, this is what we do,
you know, together.
We fill our time.
Huge guy did Blood Feast, Swarcher,
but leave is the first movie that I have,
like, Visible Blood Effects.
Like a lot of Gore, yeah.
A lot of Gore.
Yeah, Blood Feast is a absolute classic.
It's, it's funny because now you watch it,
it's kind of boring, but it's fun.
But Gore, Gore, girls also has a, it has a cameo by and by it has a cameo by Hini young
man. Yeah. You know, you have to see it. Yeah. I love Hini young man. Yeah. My wife's nipples.
Oh, it's an old fun story from Jeff when he was going to the, the friar's club all the
time and it was behind Hini young man one day and Hini had no idea he was going to the the friar's club all the time and it was behind
and the young man one day and he had no idea he was there and there is a pigeon just flew
in front of him. He's like, oh, all my messages.
And he's literally just doing bits on the street to know.
Yeah, I understand.
I understand. I am with his disease.
Got so funny.
Yeah, the go-go girls, it's, you know, there's some problematic parts, but for the most part,
it's a pretty fun, uh, if you're into exploitation, or like, and you know what exploitation
horror is, what that means and what it is, then yeah, it's a great one.
It's a lot.
I used to what we rented blood sucking freaks so many times when I was a kid.
I don't think I remember a minute of it, but I remember we rented it constantly.
I've never seen blood sucking freaks.
1970s very old.
Yeah.
Interesting.
We should do a watch.
Honestly, I love the real love that we live that.
When a microwave massacre too, I need to rewatch that one.
We have this place called 16,000 movies and like 8,000 of our horror movies.
So we just go there all the fucking times. Great. Yeah. We need to watch Red Meat again too.
Oh, yeah. It's a good one. Yeah. It's a slow burn, but it ends great. It's Donald
Pleasants. You know, it's like it's got everything that you want. Let's do it again. Yeah.
Let's do it together. Yeah. Let's have like because that's my thing. It's 70s or movies.
I love, love, love, 70s or movies. I need to get back into that more than this is the no shit's fun, but like I
You know what? It's a 70s is the best time for movies. Well, it really and why would that not follow for horror?
Yeah, the 80s though
Yeah horror in my estimation has only gotten better in terms of like what there
It's the last bastion of independent films. It's like really fun ideas coming out and horror, but what I love is the legacy of all of these like the entire genre. So
huge. Yeah, there's so much stuff and there's stuff for anybody. Oh, it's just I just with
modern horror, I just cannot watch one more fucking movie where grief is the main. Well, the idea is
the hereditary. The hereditary started that and then kept it
going and it could come back. Bob, I do started. Bob, it was before hereditary. Yeah.
And then hereditary like shot that up. Oh, hereditors. Unbelievable. Yeah. It's unbelievable.
Move. Talk to me. It's great. Talk to me. It's great. That's the first share to that one.
I haven't seen it. It's great. Love it. It's so good. It's one of the first like,
zoom or horror movies that I've come to enjoy.
That I really, really, it's very, very good.
Yeah.
I've ever seen, don't look around, don't look back
or don't look around, don't look there.
It's done of them.
Donald Sutherland.
It's great.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Don't look back.
No, it's, it's the title actually,
don't look at me.
Oh, wait.
Don't look away.
No, that's not it. You met Donald Sutherland, right? Oh, man, I was on a flight. Don't look at me. Don't look away. No, that's not it.
You met Donald Sutherland, right?
Oh man, I was on a flight.
Don't look now.
Don't look now.
Yeah, and it's, you know where it's at, Italy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's at minutes.
It's another, it's another very, very slow burn, but I think it's right up your
alley.
It's, it's, it's a grief movie.
I'll admit that.
That's why I thought of it.
But yeah, it is a grief movie, but I think you'd like it.
I was on a plane.
It was first class. It was coming back from work and doing pretty face and
Next to me was Donald Sutherland and a big air tank right to a big tank on he was struggling came in and he sat there and
Again, I wasn't gonna say anything. I'm saying anything to you know, it's how it's so cool. He's a legend. He's fine
He leans over and he's like
These bastards expect me to work until I'm in the grave
He said I was just like what? It's like they think I'm a young man doing these hunger games
Not here tied to a pole or sorts of weather cold
heat Not here tied to a pole or sorts of weather cold heat
I'm an old man
I should be doing this anymore. I'm just like you know, I'm just like my son brings home these women
Sick of these women and I was just like keep her Sutherland
Your very famous son. Oh, you know him. Yeah
Always disappointing You're Mary famous son. Oh, you know him. Yeah. Keep always disappointing. I'll be dead.
No, I'll be laughing.
You're like, I didn't do after the yoga.
I have to eat now.
Keep up.
Get the acid off of us.
My God, I just open up.
If I was sitting next to Donald Sallon and he like approached me of like they, I would
open up his IMDB and just start going through and be like, what about this one?
What about this one?
The problem was I was just I literally he monologue that me yeah for like an hour, but I didn't want to say anything because he was just talk
He was literally just been like got this tank. No, because I can't breathe
How am I supposed to do the hours they expect me to do like when you are on the Simpsons like how cool is that because I love that
It's one of my favorite leads to that kind of class is one of my favorite simpsons episodes
Why you playing games if you're hungry you were brilliant
Mass you're so good in that. I just love you so much in mass. You were just so good
They used to be you should be shorter time before there were meal breaks
Now it's six and a half hours these unions
I don't know you didn't say that yeah. Oh, yeah, and don't look now like I mean, it's like full nudity. Oh, yeah
They have all Southern down Southern and yeah, don't sell it and Julie Christie
Yeah, they had Donald Sutherland.
Yeah, Donald Sutherland and Julie Christie.
Oh, Julie Christie's beautiful.
Yeah, full nudity.
And the story behind that is that they had to do the sex scene the first day of shooting.
Oh, there it is.
They had met each other.
That's his butt.
Well, he shows his butt in animal house.
Yeah, that's his, oh God.
Wow, with that, I titled, typed in Donald Sutherland nude and went straight to it.
Oh, man, he did when he was an old man, he did it when he was an old guy.
Oh, wow.
I bet he's got a long one.
I'm thinking, my son didn't get my jeans.
Not thick, but long.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, this has been an exciting episode.
Has it?
Are we to the end?
I guess no, we do have one more story.
We can cover.
We have this other one. I mean, we do have one. Do you want to do desecration or sex doll? Sex doll.
Sex doll. This does somewhat work into our necrophilia episodes tangentially. Great. A funeral
home worker responsible for transporting dead bodies in a Nebraska County is suspected of having
an intimate encounter with a life-sized sex doll he found in the apartment of a deceased person.
This was one of those like $10,000, extremely real, talk to me, like, you know, put in the
lens and different silicone.
You really know how to turn me on.
Thank you, Marcus.
For all of the pleasure you're giving me.
Marcus, you have such a big one.
So who complained?
Well, investigators say Ryan Smith 41 and a colleague were dispatched last week to a home
at the Rock Creek Apartments in Omaha to collect the body of an individual who died there
and investigator reported near the body on the bed was a very real life-size sex doll.
Police alleged that Smith subsequently called the property manager
and claimed that the local sheriff had asked him to remove the sex doll
to collect swabs for biops.
You know how normally they ask a funeral home assistant
to come in and clear evidence out of a room?
The police directly?
Yeah.
I gotta get in there because you know how it is.
They don't, they don't want to deal with all this nastiness.
Well, how the person died.
It doesn't say, but Smith's stranger quest was denied by the manager who later returned
to the apartment to discover that Smith was still inside the unit, which had been locked
with a deadbolt and chain after Smith exited the home with his shirt, untucked and his pants
in disarray.
The property manager called the cops who later busted Smith on a felony burglary charge, a post arrest examination, revealed the sex
doll to be quote unquote sticky. And it appeared that quote, something had rubbed her inner
thighs. And a deputy collected the sex doll. He said, so that I can have her process for
a DNA. He did more work on the sexually assaulted doll than he might do for human beings.
They're doing far more to see if this man fucked it all
than they did.
I think what they're looking for is like cause.
Yeah.
They have to prove that we can fire this guy.
Well, think about this, right?
You're a funeral home worker.
You got all these sexiest corpses just laying around,
right, all day long.
Teasing you.
Tempting you.
Yeah.
Right, and they're just being just laying
there, right? You know, sexy. And then all of a sudden, you go into some other place for some guy
died boring, right? And you're like, I already seen his fucking dick. He's dead. Then you see
just laying right there. And the same exact position is you're like, ooh, mama, I can't get in trouble.
We're fucking that one, right?
I get to go fuck that doll.
What do you try, I mean, to his credit,
he did try to remove it for,
he did try to lie his way into getting it
into his own apartment.
To his credit?
Yeah.
He tried it, he lied to you.
Yeah, he did try it.
I mean, it's just, I mean,
it's gonna go on the fucking track.
Yeah.
It's not like his nephew wants this thing. Yeah, it's just, I mean, it's going to go on the fucking track. You know, it's like his nephew wants this.
Yeah, it's not going to be passed down from family member to family member is a treasured
heirloom.
I know.
Fucking dumpster.
That's your grandmother.
Well, I mean, what he should have done is he should have staked out the dumpster behind
the apartment complex because that's where all that shit's going to go.
It's just going to go right into the dumpster.
Stake it out.
I used to know a guy who used to stake out the dumpsters at the mall back in Lubbock.
So he could steal all the Victoria secrets cutouts when those went and he would take them
to his home and put them on the wall.
It's just you meet some interest.
You meet some interesting people when you work in a comic book store.
Yeah, God, but this is the thing is that the guy, this sex doll.
What is they're not not gonna throw it out.
We can tell staff's gonna take it.
Is it funny?
It's this guy's apartment.
That someone's gonna take it as a funny joke.
No.
No.
But you know what someone else just come.
Not if you get the hose.
And you shoot it out, you take it.
You shoot it out.
You shoot the fucking gun.
It's so hard to dry out the insides of this thing.
You're already doing it.
Yeah.
If you've already,
I guess there has to be a cleaning process.
Marcus, as far as flashlights and all these sorts of stuff.
A lot of you have removable vaginas.
Yeah, my flashlight, you could pull it out
and you could really, like, I mean, you could
brush the fuck out of that thing.
I'm gonna go look at it.
You need to do real doll cleaning process process. I like that. I think the fuck out of that thing. I'm gonna go look at it. You need to. Real doll cleaning process.
Process.
I like that.
I think it's like those butt flaps.
I just pulled out.
Yeah, it's like an instant.
Yeah, it's like an instant.
And how often do I need to clean my doll?
Every time.
Yeah, there we go.
And there, yeah.
How do I clean my doll's body?
My take in you, Prince.
Also, like, do your best to pull out.
Just clean every 14 days.
No, what should we might do in here? Yeah.
I'm fucking this thing.
Yeah.
Coming inside of it.
Yeah, you pull it out.
The cleaning process isn't worth it.
Oh, okay.
Here we go.
Okay.
How do I clean my dolls holes?
Cleaning over a ginor, anus and mouth
is a delicate process with several techniques
to expose these areas for cleaning.
No bleach.
No.
Of course that.
Coda's small swaps bunch with warm water
and antibacterial soap.
You can now use this sponge to clean the orifices and serve the sponge using medical
pincer into the orifics until it is clean.
You can now use certain reading to stop talking.
Yeah, because if you don't clean it, it gets pretty bad.
You can dispose of this sponge and now repeat steps one and two above.
Again, after two swaps, the orifices should be clean,
lashing you to insert a second dry sponge to remove any excess soap or moisture.
Once you have successfully dried the doll, you can apply talcum powder to the exterior,
so the exterior of the orifice all done.
Your doll should not be clean and free for many bacteria or dirt.
Yeah, you can move its head and wig.
Do you work move its head and wig.
Do you work on his head? Okay.
Yeah, but if you shake, shake the comb out of its neck.
What the problem with it though,
is that I mean, I would imagine if you have a real life sex
all you're not gonna have a roommate,
but with a flesh life, the problem is,
is that to clean it, you gotta take it to the bathroom.
Or the kitchen sink's probably better.
No, you don't want to, the kitchen sink, because that's a shared, you got to take it to the bathroom. Or the kitchen sink's probably better. No, you don't want to do the kitchen sink
because that's a shared, you want to use the bathtub.
Oh, yeah.
Because in the bathtub everything goes.
You just want to go away.
You just want to go far away.
You want to go to a motel and do it there.
Well, you just can't carry it past your roommate.
That's the top.
One of those laundry sinks would be perfect.
Yeah.
A laundry sink.
Oh, yeah, I got one of those in my garage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, the big plastic tub with the fucking long nozzle. That would be perfect. Yeah. A laundry sink. Oh yeah, I got one of those in my garage. Yeah. Yeah. The big plastic tub with the fucking long nozzle. That would be perfect. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Jammed right up in there. Let it run right through. Yeah. New York we didn't have that though.
This is something. After enjoying your happy time with the love doll, be sure to take a bath with
her. Please rinse water and cold water. I guess this is what you do. You just bring it in there and
you just wash it with yourself.
You know, and then you got God, it's so lonely.
It's gonna get sweaty.
This part of Korra is bad.
This part of Korra is not good.
No part of Korra is good.
Thanks for listening everyone.
Go, go, go.
I don't mind it.
If you wanna have six, honestly,
it would be kind of cool to do.
It might be fun.
Last podcast in the left. Real balls.
Oh my god.
Ede cryptid pussies, cryptid buttholes.
My friend Doug Sackman was working on monster decks for a long time.
And they should be you.
Oh god. Can you imagine?
Send those out.
My horrendous butthole.
God, and call it. Ah, yes.
You wanted to take Henry from behind.
Have you ever tried the Polish challenge?
Oh, God.
Yes.
But your butt's so flat though.
Yeah.
It's horrible.
Yeah.
That's why it makes it unique.
Yeah, you get right to the hole.
No, if anyone's getting a butt made, it's me.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Yeah.
No, I say we give them what they deserve.
Not what they want.
Okay.
I agree.
I agree.
But I'm just talking about, you know, QC quality control.
And we're gonna have sex with me. You have to find the scenes from deliverance like sexy. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, like, cause I got a Ned Bady back. You do have a, you do have a Ned Bady,
body. Yeah. And, you know, so if you want to go to town on Ned Bady and make them squeal and scream,
I guess it's the last podcast of the left. Real buddies for you. You should go down to last podcast merch.com and try it out for Christmas.
Thanks, giving that rush to your house right now. Try the poll show.
Shout out to Henry asked to your city chair.
And you can go ask to ask with Henry's a brosky whenever you're doing your work.
Yeah, listen, yeah, just to keep your stress free in the holiday season.
Do go ask to ask Henry Zabrowski.
No, I think it's so flat,
we'll be really good at it.
It's like a, you know, the little gel thing on a mouse pad,
you know, the way you rest your wrist.
Yeah, so you use that.
Just glue some hair to that.
Worked shy, Henry Zabrowski carp a tunnel butt.
Nothing will make your work day more at ease
than this soft, soft slow low slope of
Henry Zabrowski's Polish butt. You're gonna love it. Well, there's been a great episode.
It has been. Happy fucking Thanksgiving. It's coming next. Oh God. All right, go to
operations. If you want to base Henry, you want to realize that we're gonna have a sale.
Yeah. Then you go to fucking uh, go get your local, go to your local comic book store and ask
for Operation Sunshine number two by name.
They are there. They are ready to go.
It's out right now. I saw a copy of it.
The new one.
Yeah. I saw a copy of it too.
Yesterday is fucking, it was so cool to see.
I also like to make an announcement because I can now.
I was in a movie when I want you to go and see it.
It is a Christmas movie.
Obviously, people are already giving me shit
about the fact that it's a Christmas movie,
even though I dislike Christmas,
but it's the best part.
I play somebody who hates Christmas in a Christmas movie.
It is really fun.
It's called How to Ru in the Holidays.
And right now it is out in right now,
it's in the Lemley.
Is it the Lemley Novo?
So we refer in town.
If we're in Los Angeles, go check it out.
And this is another guilt side of this. If you don't even care about the movie, go support the
Lemley because they're, they're all given. They're fucking destroying all of them. Yeah.
And it's horrible. So maybe give them a reason to maybe stay open, which would be nice.
Yes. Love the Lemley. I love all those theaters. But they are. It's also at the plaza and at
Atlanta. And it is, it is going to be, oh, we're going to have a pretty, it's not a national
run, but a pretty big run. And then in December, we're going to go VOD. So I is going to be, we're gonna have a pretty, it's not a national run,
but a pretty big run.
And then in December, we're going to go VOD.
So I'm gonna put it out there.
It's called How to Rew in the Holidays.
I think it's really funny.
It's an all rated comedy that is directed by Arlen Kutapaki
and written by my good friend Kevin Galisse,
who is one of the artistic directors of Dad's Grill.
How is Colin Mockery?
The best.
Yeah.
You're great, very funny. Very interesting. I believe you've kept this under the, your hat this whole time that you did. How was Colin Mockery? The best. Yeah? You're great. Very funny. Very sweet.
Definitely, you've kept this under the hat, this whole time,
that you did a movie with Colin Mockery.
You never told us.
I love Colin Mockery.
He's the best.
He's great.
He's funny as you think he is.
Whose line was it anyway?
His.
Cool.
He used to lead.
But he did a great job, and I'm really,
I want you guys to go check that shit out.
Let's go watch it together.
Yeah, we can. I would love that. We're little actors. Look at you. I'm really I want you guys go check that shit out. Let's go watch it together. Yeah, we can I would love that we're little actors
Look at you. I'm an actor. I got a letter from sag after begging me to give them money and I said no
You might have you might have I just sent the money finally you got to got to because you're new town
I know but I'm not an actor
But you do act every day. Not in movies or TV.
Not in movies or TV?
It's not saying here.
Movie or TV?
No, this is a studio that we paid for.
Interesting.
I got no money from studios to build this.
I never got any investment from a studio.
But we're looking for it.
So, Paramount, we're ready for you.
The moment that I have to, I will.
You're not a scab.
We're looking for it. The that I have to I will not a scab I'm looking for it the moment I have to I will button until that day comes
Keep it. It's a nice little souvenir. I think you're right. I like I just got good with that
I'm excited to get my DVDs. Yeah, the DVDs that are already streaming. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god
It's so annoying. It's so elaborate Netflix movies on so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying.
It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's so Bye! Bye! you