Last Podcast On The Left - Relaxed Fit: True Crime Roundup - The Eunuch Maker w/ Patton Oswalt

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

It's time for a very special True Crime Roundup this week as the boys are joined IN STUDIO by actor, comedian, and author Patton Oswalt to break down a handful of disturbing stories and to discuss Patton's new Dark Horse graphic novel series "Minor Threats" (available everywhere now).

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left. That's one of the cannonball. Some started. What was that? I do like the gulfs. The shoes, that's all it sends me. It's a mixture of all that.

And now it's a lot of thank you to Fernando. My entire algorithm is people cooking. I had dreams when I saw pots last night legitimately. I use to pot dreams. It was so fucking weird, but I wasn't scared of them. I hated them. I hated them when I saw them. But in the dream, I was like, I was kind of fine with them.

All right. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate them. I hated them when I saw them in the dream. I was like, I was kind of fine with them. All right. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. The work is through it. Yeah, you got to. Well, it's the juice that you've ever seen in Asapod cooked. They do eat them. It's a horrible brown. It comes out of them when you cut them open. No, I'm recording or recording pattern. All right. There you never seen Is've never seen Isopod Lica. Uh, no. I, I'm still still getting over the news. You just told me before we started recording that the chief suspect in the Tylenol poisoning just passed away. Yes. Oh, yeah. There was a young age of 76 years old and man, he died a free man. He just, that's the luckiest bomber of all time.

James Lewis. James Lewis, all of our Gen X heroes are, this is when they start dying. Oh, yes. What it is. They start losing them. So how, all of our Gen X heroes are this is when they start dying. Yes, what it is. I'm sure I lose in them. So how it. So there's two. So now he's gone. So how many rolling stones are left to two meals are left?

You guys from the who two Zeppelin's. Yes. And of course Dylan's still hanging in there. And but we lost Lewis hard names when you're in a band. These you get older with dementia. The who they literally will just be asking them. Then rolling stone. We'll do that wheelchair. Yes. Yes. Yeah, he's on fire. Welcome to the show everyone. Last

podcast on the left bed hanging out with Henry and Marcus plus a special guest today. He's a world-renowned. You know, I might even got a give a freaking credits. It's Pat Noswell. Thank you so much for being here, Pat. I am DB me. Yeah. He's got a new book coming out June 20th. It's going to be with Dark Course. It is am DB mate. Yeah. He's got a new book coming out June 20th. It's going to be with dark course. It is called minor threats. Well, it's coming out July 12th. It's it's out now.

It's actually out today. I purchased. I got a wrong email. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, comics shops that did get it on June 20th. That's right. Boom. But it goes wide today. As we're recording, we're recording this on July 12th. And you're with one of the widest podcasts that's ever existed. It physically or like physically, physically wide. By the way, oh, God, this is embarrassing. I did the, I performed the black cat DCs years ago with the comedians, a comedy me and Zach. Yeah. The black cataloging with the 930 club, one of my hometown music clubs growing up, not that I ever really got to go there because I didn't have a car.

Yeah. But we did our show and the place was packed to the walls. And I'm backstage sort of trying to I'm doing the, the passive aggressive humble brag thing with the manager like, wow, we really, really packed the place out, right? And I'm wanting him to say, like, yeah, you sold out, like, second go, I sold out the black cat in BC. Yeah. He goes, yeah, you did really well.

I go, why I mean, it was, you couldn't move in there. It was almost like it was, it was, it was just, it goes, oh, no, it was definitely packed. It was packed. I go, well, I mean, like, but it was, it was, it was definitely sold out. He goes, well, I mean, you know, when it's packed, it holds about, you know, a thousand people and you, and you sold in 150 tickets. And I was like, I'm sorry. No, I mean, we, we sold way more, and you could not move in the place. Right. And he goes, well, we do a lot of like punk shows and, you know, those fans, your fans are like, and he did that motion like, and so we can only fit.

That fucking counts. And I'm so sick of us being like ticket, ticket sales based upon individuals that purges and he's based upon ways. I want it by Matt. I want to buy BMI index. That's all I want. No, hang on BMI index is a. It's based upon weight. Wait of all I want it by Matt. I want to buy BMI index. That's all I want. No, hang on BMI index is a it's a fallacy. It's not a fallacy.

It's redundancy because BMI is body mass index. I want it by BMI measurement. Well, it's a good thing you corrected that. Yes. All right. Well, today we got ourselves after six weeks of the Manhattan project. We're just going to do a nice palette cleanser, which is probably also going to be discussed in.

My brain is flappy. We've been talking about all horrible things we've learned about America for the last like month and a half and it just keeps going and why stop? Yeah, it's up now. Today we're doing our relax fit true crime round up. So this is the time you let out your belt. Yes, we all have softer pants on. Oh, yeah, soft panting day soft pants

Also, if you have Jeep if you have a Jeep be careful people put in rubber ducks on the my dreaded article in the wall street journal Wow, America getting so dumb Literally, it was an article in the Wall Street Journal about it. If you have a Jeep people are putting ducks on it I have no idea what you're talking about people are putting ducks on it. I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not a winner, I'm not a winner. See, we, he's so scared. He's so scared, yellow, street journal.

We've got limited column space, guys. Well, my Jeep duck stories got to run. It's got to run. You know, you tell those people in this submersible that imploded, they can wait till Wednesday because my Jeep duck story's going in. Whatever Brandon William Hurst gets is what he gets. Well, we're leaving America for this first story and we're going to be going to London. A man accused of carrying

out castrations on other men and broadcasting the footage on his unique maker website has appeared in court. Oh man. And everyone applauded. Obviously, the first question is did these people volunteer? have their genitals cut off? Absolutely volunteers, every single one of them. Well, then let the man cook. See, how is it right? Why is he in court? Marius Gustafsim, 45, along with eight others, is alleged to have performed extreme body modifications,

including the removal of penises and testicles. Good. The procedures were filmed and uploaded to the website of penises and testicles. Good. The procedures were filmed and uploaded to the website. He ran and subscribers would pay to watch. So far, great monetize. Uh huh. Yeah. Don't see the issue. Well, see the issue. It's great for the ball jar company. Yes. Literally. And fill it with balls. It was weird that they're one of their sponsors was blue chew. That was a little weird. It's just ridiculous. Yeah. That's just not what they're doing nowadays.

That's just not good branding right there. You got to find your audience. I also think it's cheating. It is. You should have to do it soft. What am I going to do with all these dick and balls? What a day for this guy. Well, Gustafson, who is originally from Norway, is... There's a shock.

Is he's from a weird Scandinavian country. And he's cutting off people's balls. Oh my God. Wait, no, it's a day. So, Hey, Pat, you're really funny comedian. What about what if you was from Russia and the dick and balls cut you off? Oh, in there. That's pretty good. Very good. Thank you, Kessel. Gustafson is said to have been the ringleader in a wide-ranging conspiracy involving up to 29 offenses of extreme body modification, the removal of body parts, the trade in body parts,

and the uploading of videos. No, it seems to be the UK is an entirely different vibe about all of this stuff, because we were talking about before the show. So they're all being charged for, it was a G.B.H. G.B.H. Greva Spotly Harm. Greva Spotly Lee Harm, which I believe in America, you are allowed to not charge somebody for Greva Spotly Harm.

Like if you go, they volunteer for it. If you volunteer for it. If you volunteer for it, it seems like here, in this court or in this system, type stories L.P.O.T.L.A.G.M.O. Like, come, side stories LPL, a GMO, like, come, if you explain it to me at all, like they go in there and they're basically saying, well, if you're cutting somebody, Dixon balls off, that's not right. That's not right. First of all, who are they to tell you?

What magistrate has the right to tell you if you can castrate yourself or not? Are they happy afterwards? Oh, absolutely. I don't, I totally don't see the problem. The only issue I can see is the interstate traffic, the, the, the selling or the, you know, what do you do in what, what, what are the, what are the, what are the genitals, where are they being sent to? Right. Certain people buy them certain people. What? Well, I actually like to, why, I mean, what do you collect? I like to actually do

funny taxidermy with fish. There you go. Give them big. Let me let's say something. The kids that go to puppet shows are very jaded. They need something new. You know, they're not easy to throw the way they used to. It's puppetry with the piece. You see that cock on Kermit?

I was like, why are they out of there? What are they doing to our kids? Pat, and you've been around like the true crime world in and out like, if you dealt with people who sell serial killer memorabilia or just McCall memorabilia across the board, I have very much, I know people who do. I've also, there used to be a place on Vermont back in the day called Mondo Video Ag-go and they had plenty o, uh, serial killer chotch keys. Yeah.

On the wall paintings. Uh, there is a place called the museum of, I believe it's called the museum of horrors or something. It's down and I was filming in, um, oh my god, uh, Savannah, Georgia. And there's a, uh, amazing haunted city in America. Well, that is, I will say that's a crazy haunted city. There are so many ghost crime craziness tours that, so a couple of which I took and was genuinely blown away

at the level of depravity, not just historical depravity, kind of recent stuff that had gone on. Why, what happened in Savannah, Georgia? What the hell is there? There's a case and I'm, maybe you guys have covered it, but there was a, and I'm only giving you the bare bones because a lot of this I blocked out, but there was a kid. It was a young guy who was like a drug dealer and was trying to buy drugs off of this guy.

And he the guy didn't either didn't have the drugs. You didn't have the money that he wants. So he killed him and burned him to death. Oh, and it was was completely dead to rights, but his parents were crazy rich and powerful in the area. This is the 70s and completely got him off. And he walked around just free everyone knowing you dismembered and burned a guy to death. And then he opened up restaurants and each of their names that one was called like the inferno. It was almost like a while. He leaned in. And one of them was still open and they showed it to me as like, and that's the guy that like the guy is still alive. See, there was a lot of places like this weird like I can do whatever I want.

And it was also this unspoken thing. This is the late 70s, early 80s of like, he like killed a drug dealer like, it's like tortured and burnt like beyond the guy is clearly insane. Yes. And now he's running restaurants fair most chefs are insane. Yeah, I'm playing. I've seen that season three of the bear by the way. Yeah, I was going to shake it. The bar rescue is really going to get in the really good

And if you I just stabbed him in the chest. Yes, chef. Okay, burning him up. Yes, chef. I would rather be burned to death though, than burned sort of to be left alive just a little bit. Complete it.

Yeah, complete it. Yeah. Wait, those, in those memorabilia stores, a lot of times, I feel I've seen a lot of the idea of chasing down human remains and trying to figure out where they are properly source. It's extremely difficult. We covered on side stories all the time. People just sell illegal human body parts 24 seven. So it's in a jar actually sounds like.

Yeah, it is. And there's also like a big trade. Again, there are a lot of genuinely horrible holocausts and irons out there, but there are some people, it's not that they're denying the holocaust, they are trying to expose the charlatans that are selling fake holocaust memorabilia to fake lampshades made of human. There's a huge market, which is so fucking creepy. It is. And also just, you know, it, it muttles the record because then if you have enough fake

stuff out there, then the actual holoca assholes can go see it's all fake. Yeah. So that's shit in the bike. Oh, yeah. Can you actually cancel what we got for that? We're going to hang on this show. We're going to say, yeah, how much time is left on that eBay auction? Yeah.

We're going to withdraw. The world's smallest violin or in my Mike is a normal size violin for the person who is upset that his lampshade made a human skin was fake. I was really Jewish. Can't. Sorry, buddy. Yeah. It is a very, I mean, again, it's the line from Reitas and Arizona.

Man, they ought to sell tickets at by one. She noticed there. There is people that there. And look, I'm not even judging them because I'm absolutely drawn to all that shit. I'm drawn to all that shit. That is in me too. But there has to be a moment where you look at yourself and go, what am I? Who was there footage of that? I got cut off. I both self and then my wife asked me gently, just being like, let's not have any more serial killer. Yeah. The only in the home unless the pieces I have were given to me.

So I will say it was never, I've never spent money. But it is like, but it does this whole market and it's just crazy just how because Marcus loves human bones. And I actually have a human collarbone. I have some skull. Where were these source? The collarbone, you know, it's funny. I don't remember. Great. Oh, good. Someone just handed me a collarbone, I have some skull fragments. Where were these source? The collarbone, you know, it's funny, I don't remember. Great.

Someone just handed me a collarbone at a live show. And I'm like, this is like, there are like kids, it's like human collarbone. And then you meet so many people. Yeah. They take so many stories. I can't be chasing all these waterfalls. I do know though that all of the human skull fragments

that I have, those are plague victims that have been dug up over the years. In various English archeological activities. Back to your ad alive show. Because a lot of performers are having stuff thrown at them these days. I just hope that you don't have a pelvic bone tossed at you while you're saying you're good nights. To be fair, I think the audience is very respectful of the bones. They are. We've reserved vials of blood.

We've received some of these fathers. Yeah, I still have that was a little creepy. I still have the ashes of Philip Mellon. It's in a tiny air. It's in an airplane bottle of vodka and it has the name Philip Mellon written on its side. Didn't someone just throw their mother's ashes at pink? At a conference. Oh my goodness. They threw their mother's ashes at pink? At a conference?

Oh my goodness. They threw their mother's ashes at pink and their ashes got on her. And you said, you think that really? There's footage of it. You actually believe an artist is responsible enough to properly dispose of your mother's ashes. You are incorrect. She's going to go take a shower in the day room and that's it.

And then your mom's going to, your mom's going to haunt the gree room at the, at the city bank center. She's gonna go take a shower in the day room and that's it And then your mom's gonna your mom's gonna haunt the gree room at the at the city bank center That's it. They was always gonna happen Perhaps that's what she always wanted to do maybe yeah, let's get back to the cock and balls and London Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, see how you feel about that when you're watching the polyphonic spree get changed Between shows sweaty hippies. Like, the man, how do they go on tour with this many people? The GBA charges include the removal of a man's penis, the clamping of another's testicles,

and the freezing of a leg, which required amputation. And the freezing of the leg, I've seen that a lot in various amputation fetish communities, or what they do is they actually free, they use dry ice to freeze the liquid nitrogen. Like, did I? Yeah. And then they just like tap, tap it off and then it's gone.

Yeah, that's good. That is fucking hurt. Oh, there's a, there's a whole, there's a, I believe it's either Japanese or cream movie called the men behind the sun, which is about all of the 31. Yeah. Yeah. All of the, yeah, I'm experiments that were done and what part of it was the frees me arms and then just snapping them all off. That is one of the nastiest movies I have ever seen.

Also, I think the pressure chamber, I think about it all the time. Me too. My goodness, but I would just put the leg outside the window of the, no, beer, sir. Just checking that real good. But likes, but the people again, they sign up for this stuff. They do sign up for this stuff. Yeah. And that's kind of the legal gray area that they're in there. But on the other hand, it's legal everywhere, or a legal gray area everywhere else, but

it seems like in England, it's very cut and dry. There's so many guys that are going to go. Yeah, it is. Sorry. I'm sitting right there. I'm not going to cut my thing. I'm dry ice. But I feel like they just have a lot more. How do you put it? It's in the UK. They're a

little bit more, uh, they're, they're icky-ness toward certain societal aspects. Like they try to, they put into their legal system. Yeah. Well, I think it also, and I'm just speculating here, this might also have to do with the fact that they have socialized healthcare. So if people are injuring themselves, if people are kind of, they become kind of, you know, wards of the state. They're gonging up the gun, the gun, the system. But here in America, you do that to yourself. You just get tossed off to the side of the road. And we don't have to worry about, you know, more. Also, I think England has a much, much longer history. And I'm sure that it is psychically

scarred a lot of them, even on a DNA epigenic level of mutilation and torture and real horrors just within the city itself. I got a, I was very lucky to have a, a very deep kind of exclusive tour of the Tower of London. And if you ever go to England, it, it sounds very touristy go visit the Tower of London. Yeah. It is fucking fascinating. That place was basically Abu

Ghraib during Victorian times in better middle of the city. And oh my fucking God, the shit they would do there to people when you went in there, you didn't come out. Oh yeah. And you were, you were, would that be where they would put you in the pit? And then basically you were in the bottom of a toilet for the rest of your life. Yes. Yes. And why are you in the tower London? Queen was in a bad mood. Conor. And it just sent people there like and had nothing to do with like Sir Walter Raleigh was in the fucking tower of London because he he bored her one day. All right. Take him to the tower. Oh God. You better start licking her fucking toes.

Yes. As soon as you look remotely close to you, better be penis. And there's all the spots where they're like, they beheaded people. Here's where you know, can Henry killed all, you know, it's just fucking nice. Marcus and Henry had a chance to tour the church in Edinburgh, where they used to chairs in mornings that would be

hadn't been there. We'll just go on with the surface. They basically had an outdoor concentration camp where they're in the 1600s. They just chained up a bunch of people in a field and let them die there. And then it became extremely, extremely haunted. And then what they did, they ran out of room for the body. So they would do is dig, I'm out. They would dig everything out.

They would smash up bones and stuff. All these people, the first layer of bodies, they just died there. And then they'd drop them like 20 feet under and then put the old bodies back on top. So the point where something like 250,000 bodies were inside of the cemetery. And then they wanted to redo the city, but they needed to move the cemetery

so they dug it all up and then used the remnants of the bones that were in that cemetery to build half of New Edinburgh. And of course, so if you look in Edinburgh and you see all the walls that like all the stones and you see white flecks. So in the stones, it's literally human bones, which is why that place is what it is. Very haunted because they moved the tombstones, but they didn't move the bodies. No, they made the bodies into an escalator. Literally, it's a city built on. Yeah fuck Live from North way

Well, here's the little twist when it comes to the Unic Maker when the Unic Maker himself appeared in court, he was in a wheelchair Do I? The Unic Maker Hell yes Nothing better goes Alright The Unic Maker Nothing better goes. All right. He was in a wheelchair.

He was in a wheelchair. Two of the old Mendozads were just like, were you drunk last night? I'm home. Do you have a job interview? You forgot about Mendoz. Mendoz. So hang on. He's, he's wheeled in Anna Wheelchair.

He's wheeled in Anna Wheelchair because he himself is a unit. He had, he had at his own leg penis and nipple removed. Hey, I mean, by himself, uh, by other people. So it's a whole community. It's a whole community. Yeah, there's like, there's like short basketball coach and you do not trust a Unic maker with a huge guy. That's right. Oh my God. I never thought of it that way. He has to be He has to be into it. Well, I gotta say, I mean, at least with all this social media and all this ice at least they're Socializing like they're meeting people. They're talking to other people. Come on. And they're like, it's, it's, it's hands-on arts and crafts. It is.

Yeah. And he's also a client. I actually think the fact that I also a client. I think that that totally changes it. I really do because he's participating. He's into it. He's talking like he's talking it. He's not. Yeah. We talk about Q like that about how Q was about the friends they made along the way. They didn't really. Six was really just about like them finally all getting to see all these buddies. They've been talking to online for so long and finally they're all in one spot. That vacation, you ain't hard to just get my friends. I've been engaged in together.

I've said this before, people that say, MAGA people and Q people were lost. I'm like, no, they're for the first time in their lives. They've been found. It's the only time in their life. I know. If it ever felt spotted or found or in they're not lost. No, that's the problem. They are actually, they're on mission for the first time in their lives. Oh, yeah. And they're trying to get heard for the first time. Someone's making space for them in this little community. And so it doesn't

matter when people go, oh, I just showed a video of Trump saying one thing, but then he said it different than I said, they don't care. It has nothing to do with Trump. And it has nothing. It's just like, I have friends. No, they're being never had friends. They're being made to feel special for the first time in the last time. And they know it's the only time in their lives.

You're going to feel like this. If this all collapses, I mean, a lot of the, I'm sure a lot of the Nazi torturers and a lot of the torturers in South America, when those regimes fell, they didn't miss the, sure, they missed the torture because they were fucking psychos, but they miss, oh my God, where's my prestige? Where's my people listening to me for the first time in a while? They all become the candelabra from Beauty and the beast. They're gathering dust. They're wondering where their purpose is. Yeah.

Well, back to this story here, these guys truly did have a community. They even appeared in court together. The unique maker appeared alongside Peter Waits, 65 years old, who was charged with conspiracy to cause G.B.H. with intent. Waits is alleged to have been involved with nine of the 29 incidents while the Romanian national Ion Ciaqir, 28, who works in a hotel in Scotland, is said to have been involved in two. Ciaqir, who appeared separately, faces the same count of conspiracy to cause G.B.H. and all three men were amended in custody ahead of their next appearance.

Well, that's all you got to do to mend the age gap, just get a huge gap of a gap in the womb between your legs. 64 and 28. What was the last time you saw a 64-year-old and a 28-year-old hanging out? I saw some stuff on the internet. That's your lemon part. It's your lemon thing. You're a You can know it's got you can know me For sure that's friends are Now was it a thing called isn't there crew called the nullos the nullos well that's these guys are said to be a part of a larger Movement call the Noah But it's a cute name your movement called the Noah. But it's a cute name.

It's like a marshmallow cook. It does. It's getting in there. You got an A plus on your math. It caps some Nolo. I love these. I love these. You study, you work so hard.

I'm really proud of you. Well, a Nolo, it's short for, you know, nullification. Yeah. They also call themselves smoothies. Wait a minute. I wonder if that's from the show that I was on happy because there's a hitman who is a self unique in his name is smoothie. Oh, that's actually there.

I can't be. I'm for the happiest. Great. Thank you. Well, the main hitman on that show played by an incredible actor. He should have gotten an Emmy for that. And they just think it's ridiculous when they say Pat Noswald hasn't had a social impact. Look at it. I have inspired multiple cocking balls to be released from the body that doesn't want them, but it's not just cocking balls. Smoothies can also be

women. They're also women called smoothies. They have their vagina voluntarily stitched closed and they have their nipples breasts and cloutaurus removed completely. Well, how did, oh, okay. So they, man, they don't, that's it, they must be such fast swimmers. I know the question you're going to ask. They leave a tiny, you're reading right, they're your ether is right next to the anus. So they, you know, they sit down to pee and that's where everything works out. I'm not, I'm not speaking for all women, but if I was a woman, I definitely would want that PP coming on my belly button. Because that's fun.

That's a new thing. It's something else. It's boring. Well, it'd be difficult. You'd have to surfboard it. You'd have to belly board it. You'd have to book it. You'd have to belly, belly board it.

You'd have to play it. You'd have to play it for a second. I mean, I guess that frees up a lot of time for the rest of your life. If you're working on other, let me, their dual-lingo scores must be crazy. Yeah, man. They've got all kinds of time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the famous nullos is Mao Sugiyama, a Japanese artist and asexual activist who in 2012

had his genitals surgically removed, cooked, and served to paying gas at a public banquet. Sugiyama who uses the nickname Ham Sy Bell also had his nipples removed. Ham Sy Bell sounds like an open mic comedian. That's not much that. He's not opening through this. Ham Sy Bell.

He, you know, we, um, falling out. We had a little bit of a falling. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah. Cause he, he, he caught me standing up, peeing and took it as a, took it as an attack. I was like, I'm totally cool. You know what?

He's like, he's a little militant. He's a little militant. It's unfortunate. But he served his generals at a banquet. Yeah, that's what the general general's all day. I got to know he's all day. He's all day. He's fired those generals now.

Fire everything. Yes, sir. You mentioned he's an activist. We love activism in many ways. So our social change occurs, but yeah, what's the message? The message is that asexual should be free to be asexuals. And should not be shamed for being asexuals. I think we're with that.

But are people shaming asexual people? Apparently, I don't know. I feel like it is one of those been like, okay, buddy. He did it happen this afternoon or is this just a general sense? Cause you're, you're just great in the dick and balls because you have a fun party. In, in, in their defense, I would say it seems like whatever sexual thing you have, whether it affects people or not, there is, there seems to be, there's also, and I wonder when they're going to start demanding their rights, there seems to be a section of the population that their

Turn on or the thing that fuels them is being outraged at what any other person's choice is like if they And now that like I guess you know gay and lesbian are kind of just accepted and no one gives a shit Now they're going hard on trans people in another generation No one will give a fuck about trans people, so they're so going after it. Whatever it is, there's, but I'm waiting for the people that go, but my turn on is to be angry at people and you are squashed with my rights.

My thing is to, like how far will this go? Oh yeah, dude, I feel like, by the way, gay and lesbian people never affected anybody. But of course, people were outraged. So of course, yeah, it affects people even less, they're asexual. It literally doesn't affect anyone. Of course, there will be someone going, wait a minute, what do you say he is? He doesn't care about sex. Oh, bump his dog. And they say it barely suppressing a smile. They're so excited. They have something new to be angry about.

Well, that's why I feel like the same movement, it's gonna be the next foodie movement is gonna be bad food. It's gonna be food that specifically tastes bad and looks like shit. I think you all have to be that way. You think you're gonna be like, whoa, this is incredible how bad this is.

We're gonna be hyper irony where it's like nothing. Nothing is real anymore. Hey, gonna do that new restaurant, Gray. Oh, yum. It's all, they're doing an all room temperature tasting menu. It is revolting. It's fucking event. I'm on a waiting list. I couldn't get in.

I'm on a free, I can't wait for someone to cancel it. When they text you, you gotta get down there immediately. They got this ham that came from a certain part of the shoulder that they couldn't get for years until technology came around. It's called people. People would need it. Yeah. Well, they're doing, they're doing dashboard sushi this weekend.

Oh, God. So good. It's 105 degrees. That's really amazing. Yeah. I'm actually warm. Yeah. California rolls tempura.

Oh, how many people got fed from this person's cock and balls? Yeah, it doesn't say exactly. How many feet? I doesn't say. That'd be a bragging right. Seriously. I thought I fed a whole soccer team. Yeah, exactly.

I really, I was just in a movesbush. Oh, yeah, I was a crudo. I think I could do a table of four for a nice brunch. I think my genitalia could serve, you know, there would have to be some sides. Five. Five people. Yeah, he cooked seasoned and served bite-sized morsels of his testicles, scurriedle sack, and penis to five gourmands who dished out $250 a piece for the rarities.

And he says his lost penis at its most erect with 6.3 inches. Fantastic. Now, this is the big test. When it comes down to it though, obviously with cooking, you're going to have some shrinkage. I do wonder what that looks like at the end of the day. Yeah. You know, I know it doesn't get bigger. They have video footage of it. And I did watch it.

And it is kind of thing of the feast of the feast and it really to my honest It is just two bites per yeah, yeah, that's kind of annoying because what if you really liked it? I didn't have to go you have to prepare go what if you really like to like I got to find a place to get fuck I loved that that was so good like that becomes your weird craving. Yeah, you're up late on door-dash Like just putting your penis nothing's coming up going on You're up late on door dash like just putting the word penis and nothing's coming up. Going on. Go and get a grinder. Going on Craigslist. I'm like, how attached to your dick are you?

Yeah. Do you want to separate? I mean, theoretically, you could cook anything and make it palatable if you're a good enough cook. That's both so. You see, right? There's a short film by Les Blanc called Werner Herzoggy Tsushu. You see that, right? No.

When Les Blanc made his first movie, Gates of Heaven, documentary about pets and materials. I love Gates of Heaven. It's incredible. It's amazing. But Verna Herzog told him when he started, he goes, if you finish this, I will eat my shoe. Like you'll never finish this movie.

And then he finished it. And when they premiered in Berkeley, Verna Herzog flew over and Alice Waters from Shea Punnies. And there's a whole documentary, 20 minutes. you can watch it for free on Canopy. She cooks his boot and he eats it at the premiere. No, she's like choking, it's like a leather boot, but she like, she marinates it and duck fat for three days, stuffed with tomatoes and shel, like it looks freaking delicious. But he's still at the premiere, like eating it going. I don't like coward.

Well, 70 additional guests showed up to this penis eating. So five people got the penis, but the 70 other people there, they also got food. They got to eat beef and crocodile. Crack it. That's good. It's okay. It's okay crocodile. Crack it out. Crack it out. Crack it out.

Crack it out. It's good. It's okay. It's okay. It's like it's salt. It's sea based chicken. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had someone I was in Melbourne at this little restaurant I found in the laneways and I was like, oh, I got to try something exotic. And I got some crocodile. It tasted fine. Mm hmm. It was just about alligator.

Yeah. Do you know the case of ACA sagawa that is also in Japan, who is also walking around free? Just because over there, we're doing research for a big series coming up about essentially the Japanese criminal justice system and how they pursue people. And what they do is they spend like years deciding if somebody's crazy or not. And then if they decide that you're too, that you're not technically responsible for these crimes due to mental illness, they put you in protective custody like they did with ACA Cigawo. So that's why he's allowed to live his life because he's just like, yes, I'm an unrepentant

cannibal and I wish I could do it again. And he's basically, he's a dry cannibal. So he's waiting to do it again, but he's walking around, but they have a whole different view of this in that way because they kind of decide, you're legally Kuku bananas, but you're allowed to be there. They are so operating under the idea of like, well, he scratched his itch. He did. Yes. So he probably won't do it again. Is that their watch him? Essentially, he's on a kind of like an eternal parole. Yeah, he could relapse. So it's sort of like an alcoholic is always an alcoholic. He'd been after this. Stop drinking. He talks about, he ruminates on it because

he writes comic book after comic book, but he because he, he made a lot of money off his own crimes. Yeah, but he, they allow him to as long as he lives in his little like state or approved apartment. Actually, sounds kind of nice. Yeah. I would say these people over there who had the alligator, you know, they're like, oh, how exotic. We got alligator. And then there's a table being like, we had fucking cock and bass. So maybe you're not as exotic as me. Because, you know, there's one food critic over there. I mean, I think I've had better balls before.

Yeah. Well, let's move on to our next story. Yes. This next story, this is labor crime. Oh, the owner of a Northern California, Takia, or a chain will pay $140,000 in back wages and damages after federal investigators found they used a fake priest to elicit, quote, unquote, confessions of wrongdoing from their employees. I love this shit. I love the teams of goons, and I love calling up your old buddy because how much fun would that be?

If you got called up from your friend, you never work as like, hey, listen, will you fake being a priest in a listed a bunch of confessions or my friends from my co-workers about work based crimes? I'd be like, wow. Yeah. I think technically this is stolen valor. And it is. And these priests need to step up.

Yeah. Liberal officials began looking into allegations that employees weren't being paid over time wages at the Sacramento area chain, Takiera, Garibaldi in May, 2021, as investigators, contact an employees. They learned that a man who purported to be a priest had been introduced by the owner to quote unquote, get the sins out of the restaurant workers. And of course, the priest began the meetings with the prayer. And he asked employees whether they were loyal to the owner and whether they had ever stolen

from him. First of all, they work in a restaurant. Do you have been 10 hours because the sins are many. Yeah. And they do hang out, fuck each other and cook. I remember going to Catholic school and having to confess so weird when you just talk to another old man about how you jerked off And then he's like hmm go on. Mm-hmm. It's just I don't like the whole confession thing is nasty Well, that's what I understood as a kid. I was implicitly against as a little boy I grew up at a one or me an altar wanted to be a priest

I was an altar boy. It was involved in all the stuff I remember at one point being like why do I have to tell you? What I do and the guy's like like, I'm a Butler for God. And now I'm just like, but I don't understand. I'm not a Butler for God. I'm like, you're just, you draw his bath and leave me alone. Yeah, like can I talk directly to the boss? Yeah, yeah, that's a little weird.

So you were like the Karen version of a young Catholic. My, I'd like to speak to God right now. Um, I feel like this guy. Excuse me. Yeah, because this, because also then turn out as a massive scandal within my church. And I was one of the only kids not molested. And I think it's just because I would have used it for material. Yeah, there's a church that we went to back in Virginia, St. Catharine, we were a very

lapsed Catholic family, but we did go briefly to a church called St. Catharine and there was a guy, a guy who was there that would reply, he would go to the priest and he would, he would like complain about families that weren't coming dress nice enough for his tastes. And I like a complete department. Well, hang on, that guy turned out to be Robert Hansen. The big spy. Now, I don't know if he ever reported my family. I mean, we didn't dress great because he was that super crit like Opus day. Like he was deep into it. And his whole thing was, you know, I don't like the way those kids are like he would

rat out these families. It is like, we're just trying to come to church and. Yeah, yeah, this shouldn't be. This is not a a yeah, there's not a mission. Yeah, the rest are on the And also we're not dressing for you. You fucking creep. Yeah, yeah, just the whole thing. We're dressing. Yeah, Robert Hansen folks.

That's so interesting. Little hollowed out tree stump. That's where he kept the film. Yeah, well, you know, you got to put somewhere. Yeah. Well, former employee Maria Paras said in her sworn declaration, quote, as soon as the confession started, I found the conversation to be strange and unlike normal confessions. Oh, and like normal ones where I would tell, so where I would tell a priest about the

sins I wanted to confess, right? The priest mostly had work related questions, which I thought was strange. Oh, man. At least honestly, that's fine for me. I don't wanna talk about masturbating and raising the bench. You asked me, like, do you think you put it in enough at the store today?

Be like, you know what, I know that I think about it. Yeah, I mean, I pissed in the friallator one day. That'll do it. That'll do it. No more of a social scientist. He just died, Robert Hansen. He just died. Yeah. And uh, in that Colorado supermax, I believe. Oh, yeah. I didn't know. Yeah. They kept him on their lock and key. I don't know. Yeah. That's a beautiful smile. Oh, just really fetching.

He's flirting. Really winning. His picture is flirting. That is his wing. Is he he waking at me? He was very well dressed, a lot better dressed than that. Oswald. There's ragamuffins. Oh, ragamuffins. Yeah, it was Robert Hansen. Well, of course, this employer has now been made to pay 35 employees a total of $140,000 in back wages. He was one of those pieces of shit that you, he pulled together tips and used that to

pay managers, just a horrible piece of shit. But however, the government has been unable to identify the priest. He's not flipping on the priest. Oh, well, can't the guy just go become a priest? Can't you just go do that? Yeah. And then he's bonafied. It's a process.

You have to go live with a bunch of weird men and a dorm room and then you have to go. It's a, it's a thing. I'm because when I wanted to join the seminary, you started like 13, 14 years old. Yeah. You go in there. Oh, it's not like the universe of life. Tricks. It's a whole, you got a, it's a universe.

You're time in boot camp. Yeah. You're supposed to go and learn. I think that the pre, yeah, the Catholic priests have like a barrier to entry. Like you're supposed to be especially fucked up. Well, I know you're definitely supposed to be an alcoholic. They love a lot of Catholic priests. They have alcoholism rates through the roof. Oh, yes, yes, indeed. Well, local church authorities are completely confident. He was not a priest of the diocese

of Sacramento. So he was, in fact, just some guy. Yes, some guy. I can't trust him more. Yeah. When we were in Rome, we were going, we were doing tour in Europe and I went to because they have Vatican shops where you can go and civilians can go. And so I'm going to try to go the next time and you can get the full no shit. Yeah. And you just try, I bet you get free basketball tickets. Like I mentioned, if you just dress up like that, people give you shit, right?

You might also get egged and then kids might just roll down the window and be like, you wanna fuck me on the show? I don't know, I'm not sure if it's the most. If a man showed up at your show in full Roman Vatican, and he's been like, run ticket please. Yeah. Would you be like, I guess.

Yeah, I mean, look, he took the time to go to the spirit Halloween store to let him in. I know he made the trip down to Irvine. Right. From North. Dude, thank you so much for being here. So now we've, we've talked about units. Yeah. We talked about fake priests. Yeah. We should talk a little bit about your comic book. Yeah. My no threats. It's got, it's out already. I had one big question I wanted to ask because it's just straight up from a writer's perspective because I saw what you did and it's one of those were, it kind of blows my mind.

So the whole thing is about like, if you want to do a quick, you're not lying. It's, you want to hit it. Hey, Pat, and hit us with the elevator pitch. Yeah. Can you show us the elevator pitch? Look at the elevator pitch. Okay. Well, we're going to the with the elevator pitch. Yeah. When you sell us the elevator pitch, okay. Well, we're going to the hundred and 50th floor.

So yeah, 25 minutes. First off, I, sorry about that. I just ate it Chipotle, but it's okay. It's part of the pitch. It's it's called minor threats. And it is about low level CD level supervillains, the working class ones. They don't want to take over the world. I want to rob a bank. I want to live good for nine months, rob another one. I got, I got crappy

powers or no powers. I just have a gimmick and a costume. And in this world where superheroes and super villains exist, an A level super villain kills an A level super heroes sidekick, the equivalent of the Joker killing Robin. Yeah. And now this world's Batman who's called the insomniac and his group called the continuum of their Superman, the Green Lantern are coming down on the city like a ton of bricks. It's basically becoming a police state immediately because like it's when a cop gets shot. Yeah. They just come down so hard and the criminal underworld is we can't operate if this is happening. Let's, there's no honor in this world. Let's capture this a less guy, hand him over to the heroes. We get a little credit in the favor bank. And

so it's there. They got to survive the night of this superhero police state, all of a sudden, and battle this a level villain who is extremely dangerous. Yeah. Extreme. It's called the stick man. And he is very, he's one of those just crimes for crime sake. He is not in it for money. It's that esoteric like I'm here to change reality. And they're like, yeah, we don't need that shit. Yeah, my reality is fine.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My reality is I owe this guy 10 grand on even knockover, yes, this payroll place. Well, I love that scene when she's with her, the main character is with her mom and her mom. And she's like, but I need money. She's like, go rob a bank. Rob a bank. I taught you. Her mom is an old super villain. The main character is this woman named playtime who is, she can has this sort of ability to turn like any kind of toy or anything like weapons and stuff. And her mom was this super villain called the toy queen. So she was raised in the life. And now she has

to work with all these other desperate. There's a guy called pigeon Pete. I met him before. Actually met him in a barn with scouts. It was really ironic by the time I was walking out of the bathroom, I was walking like a penguin. Yeah. The little. Yeah, he was one of those guys who was big in the 60s when they would use his pigeons for, you know, sending messages, stuff. It's all absolutely. Yeah. So there's just all these different, there's a crime doctor called Scalpel, you know, bent

doctor. Yeah. Yeah. So there's all these different, and then we go into their different backstories and personalities. How do they get to this point where they're all this desperate? And it's also our way of going, this is what it must have felt like for the comics characters in the 70s when comics suddenly got very adult and very gritty.

Yeah. Like Frank Miller now and more came along like, do I still exist in this world? Yeah. So what's Kite Man gonna do? What is literally what's the red bee supposed to do now? Yeah, now that everybody's of like a Milton hyperbole. Exactly. The maniac. Yeah. now that everybody's up like a Milton hyperbole. Exactly.

The maniac. Yeah. But when you make that world, yeah, I was like, all right. So the first thing I was like, holy shit. It feels like a lived in world. Yes. When you do that, how do you go about making a world of superheroes?

You just write a list of names and then decide what's cool, what like what their attributes are. Or like, I mean, part of it is, we just, I mean, you sit down and you make up lists of cool names that you think will be amazing superheroes. And then, uh, and then you have your artist, we have this great artist name, uh, Kenneth, uh, Kenneth Scott Hepburn. He's so, oh my god. So yeah, just the right amount of grit.

Yes. And he like, with our descriptions, me and my writing partners, Guy Jordan Blum, who's brilliant. And when you write a comic book, it's a lot like writing a screenplay. Yeah. You kind of write the action out and your artist is your cinematographer. And they figure out, okay, here's how it will be blocked out. Here's what thing.

But he's also the costume designer. He designs what these characters will look like, what their costumes will look like, what their equipment will look like. So yeah, that starts building your artist begins to build the world too. And then when you see what they do, you go, Oh, then this should happen. If that, you know, and one thing you'll notice in the background, what we really wanted to do was show a world that has suffered 60 years of comic book continuity. What would that look like? Yeah. Like so there in the background, there are the, the rubble and the wreckage from

huge crossover events, huge roll to events that have, hasn't been totally cleaned up. I love the idea of them building a housing projects on the skeleton of a Kaiju. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Cause in my head, I'm evenly, I was like, and that's a fucking adult swim show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's really its own show inside of each one. that's where we're trying, we're working on a comic book or a dark course to where it's the same thing where you're like, I want certain things in the background appear like drop in a whole other thing. It could be its own story.

And you never even reference it. It's there. You can see it. So it's like, yeah, that, that housing community, we like make it look like a, a, a, a a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a yogurt has just defeated a Kaiju. They're both in pieces on the ground. And then what do people built around it? Think of like the high line in New York. Yeah. Something abandoned that people then built up.

Or like, we see those cool communities of old, like, storage containers that they've made these cool little apartments. I got a beef. Uh oh. Oh God. Yeah, I got a beef with a plot line that I heard about the other day. Uh oh.

Batman. There are some people that say Alfred was Joker. Do you see that? Wait, what? There's some thing. The same article that he got about G's B. No, and that's the thing. It's the Google that's Google. It's the be scared news.com. It's Joker. It's Joker. I'm like, get your uncle mad. Or wait a minute. Alfred. Alfred. Alfred. Alfred. Wait, are they saying Alfred was Joker the whole time? Yes, and they say that they, that Alfred did this. So, no, it's called else worlds. It's a whole thing where it's an alternate universe thing

and they, that's my beef. That's my beef. They do that all the time. There, there was an alternate DC story where Alfred became the Joker to prove his love for Batman. Yeah, because he should be depressed. So we needed to give him a reason to live. I saw this and it was a frail old man. He's never do this with Batman, but that is true.

Alfred was, Alfred, Alfred, special forces. Yeah. He's British. Yes. But he was old by the time he got to Benjoka. It's not ridiculous. Marcus. How do you have a piece as well? I mean, I don't, I mean, it's else in the universe. Stories are fine. I got no problem with exploring other ideas. Otherwise, they do like a, like a, do you ever read a red sun? That one by Mark Miller is fucking amazing. It's a sun is fucking amazing. It's a son is fucking amazing. It's one of the best.

It's just as an alternate universe for Superman lands on Earth 12 hours later. So he doesn't land in Kansas. He lands in Siberia. And he's Russian. Yeah, and he becomes the great communist leader. He becomes basically, he replaces Stalin. I hate to break it to you, Superman's capitalist.

I know without a doubt, they want to merge the things. Works for the newspapers. Yeah. How is it to because this is your, is this your first comic book? No, I mean, I'd done other comics, but it was always working with other people's IPs.

Yeah. So I've done a Justice League comic. I've done a Batman comic. I've done, we did a for issue, Mo.comic from Marvel. I did one for Dark Horse in the, I don't know if you guys read black hammer, which is love. I did a little side story within that world, but that's other people. So this is from the ground up. Now do it. It's kind of crazy to get somebody else's IP. Like did you have to get like a binder of the rules of the car?

No, I mean, you can't go that crazy. Obviously, but they can't. I hope it would be Joker. That's ridiculous. You know, you work within what you know, the thing. And if you go to crazy, like, oh, or you'll do something and they'll say, for instance, in my Justice League comic, Aquaman is not in it because of the time it was coming out. They're like, well, Aquaman is about to go missing for a while. So that has to be part of your story or that into it.

There was all that, you know, going on. Where did he go? He, there was, they were doing some reboot on him. I think this was in the late 90s. Aquaman really dropped the ball in that whole ocean gate thing. That wouldn't have changed the end to be a superhero. He blew it. Jason Momoa was unavailable.

Yeah, he was not there. Yeah. So there was a whole, and I also, I know comic book writers who, because they, they get comic book companies, the big, the big two, maybe dark horse as well. But they get together the way like the WWE gets together. And they plot out the next year's worth the stories. Like this will be our big crossover. And here's how your tidal feed into it. And I remember James Robinson, who was doing this amazing comic back in the day called Starman.

And suddenly there was a plot where star man built a spaceship and went out into space for like 12 issues to rescue the first star man. I was like, that was a weird right turn. And then a friend of mine told me, no, they had this summer crossover event that he hated so much that he wrote a story where his character leaves the fucking planet. So he doesn't have to be part of it. That's the point. Well, I mean, he'll, I mean, Alamore did something kind of similar with crisis on Infinite Earth during his swamp thing run where he just, he sort of took over the whole thing. And was like, no, no, no, it's not about the anti monitor.

It's about all these weird guys in South America that are trying to bring back like a primordial beast. The hijacked. Yeah. One of the largest crossover events in history. It's amazing. And and and made a way cooler crossover event. Yeah. That was amazing when when swamp thing has to travel into the netherworld and John Content time and the demon and dead man and the Phantom's try. They're it's amazing. It's incredible. Yeah. One of the best there would be something that DC or Marvel would disapprove of, but you're like, please God I want to do this with one of their super heroes or super villains. I've always wanted to do a thing It doesn't necessarily need to be Peter Parker doing it, but within the Marvel universe, because it seems like Marvel way more than DC really is anticipated the whole, the, the warring texts right now. We're watching

it basically. It's, it's, um, uh, musk tech versus zuck, zuck tech base. That's what's going now. So is the dumb future. It is. It's the dumb future. And, and, and, and in, but in, in Marvel, there's stark tech. There's Osborne tech. There's, you know, uh, Osborne tech, Oz tech. And so I was like, either have a Peter Parker or a new guy come along and he becomes, he's like, these fucking assholes. They're all, all they do is build weapons and shit and they hoard it themselves. So he starts just releasing, um, open source, uh, blueprints of not only his advanced tech, but of theirs so that everyone can ask the blower.

He will not even almost like a Banksy because these guys that so then he forces like someone like Stark and Osborne and Octavius and even Doom, you know, they all have to go like, we've got a crush this fucking guy. I like it. And suddenly they're all they have to really question what it is that they do. That would be amazing. It'll be really cool because Peter Parker is the one who has a moral core to a fault. And by the way, there are problems with doing that.

There is not the best idea to just have open source code for a repulsive array out there for anyone to have. Oh, yeah. Because then anybody can have it, including the most low level. The first people. Yeah. So, but then see where that goes. That would be an amazing story.

I would like to see. I would like to see a comic book where Spider-Man, Spider-Man apologizes for killing Macho man. Did you know that? That was a much more. You hear that? So when he was filming Spider-Man, Macho man was the wrestler. I know. In the end, it was with his beard shaved.

They put him against a dude, he didn't know how to wrestle. Macho takes a bump. That's basically the beginning of the end for Macho Man. He got addicted to pills, they are. So Spider-Man is responsible for killing one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Well, I single-handedly blame Tobin Quar. Yeah. And I'm going to fight him.

You killed Macho Man. He didn't help. That's her damn share. Yeah. There's a pressure that you're considered like like in the Mount Rushmore of like nerd culture. And then you're you go into that you have to do this. You have to write a comic book. Do you feel like there's a lot of people who are looking at you being like, better be fucking good? Yeah, you know, I know not nerds. There's a lot of things I know. I know that's not common nerds. Our folksy, they are nonjudgmental. They are supportive in a, they love hard right turns with their beloved care. They love, they love risk.

No, I mean, I've never felt myself as one of the kings of nerd culture. I'm maybe one of the arch dukes or low level arrows. I put you within the arcana, the royal arcana. And I, you know, because I'm still a fan, I, you know, I'm, I'm not messing with anyone's IP. It's my own IP. I can do whatever the fuck I want with it. And I can tell the stories that I like.

And as you get older, you start to realize, well, there's seven billion people on the planet. They can't all be my fan. If I get a tenth of those, I'm fine. That's more than enough to make a good living. So, you know, people that try to, sometimes I feel like people that try to go global, that's when the product starts to break down. And lose it because it has to, yeah, it has to be,

yeah, it's like, it becomes the food at Disneyland. Perfectly fine, but nobody goes, I can't wait to Disneyland and get that great lunch menu. Like, that's just fuel. That's not there to be tasted. Yeah, right. We've talked about the internet shows,

the all you need is really it's 100,000 fans. Yeah, if you have 100,000 fans, you can have a full on living doing whatever the hell it is that you want because again, we don't need them. We don't need the big portals. We have the, you can take it directly to the people and they want it. Then they will, they will go and get it. It also was really telling when the Force Awakens came out and the, the Nerd Mafia, and they weren't wrong in saying this, there's just, there's just a readboot of Star Wars.

They just read the Star Wars. So then Ryan Johnson puts out the last Jedi and really introduces some new concepts like I raised it. I was the fucking dice. Some of it didn't work. Some of it did, but he did something new. And the nerds went, no, they screamed. So then the third one, that one was clearly done by a committee like, okay, let's look at all the hate threads. And then it just ended completely. but in a weird way, it was, I think that was necessary because now I think it freed a lot of people going, oh, part of these people's pleasure is being outraged anyway. So there's no point exactly.

So just do what you want to do and do it the best you can. Little mermaid fuckss Aquaman. We make it happen. That's it. Little mermaid, fucks Aquaman. That's the elevator pitch. Also, where is this thing? Where is Aquaman's deck? It's inside. Aquaman has legs. He has legs. Aquaman is merely a man who can breathe underwater. And you said that you wrote that story in late in 1999. Yeah. I believe that would have been when Aquaman left and came back with the hook. That's right.

Yeah, he got the hook. Yeah, he got the hook. Yeah. Man, but it really got the hook. Glad we cleared that up. Yeah. Thank God, Marcus. Thank God, Christ.

Oh, man, this has been great. You did so much fun, man. You did so much, Pat. And this has been awesome. I'm happy to come back. And if you need another palette cleanser after whatever God awful rabbit hole you guys are about to go down. Yeah, you know, the weird.

I will happily come back in and talk about severed penises and. Great. He is. Is it a palette cleansing? It is. Literally. And it moves. It really is.

And I'll save the story for next time. The story about the man who stole the forklift and the Lowe's parking lot drove it to the home depot parking lot and killed a woman in the home depot parking lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he was real mad. Save it. But think of how fun it would be to drive a forklift around unabited. Like no one telling you what to do. You can just drive it to all your home and the chaos.

The fun minor threats. Check out the comic book by dark horse. Is there a place that you want people to buy it from? Well, I hope wherever you're listening to this, if there is a local comic book by Dark Horse, is there a place that you want people to buy it from? Well, I hope wherever you're listening to this, if there is a local comic book store or LCS, I hope that you go and patronize them and actually walk through the door and purchase a copy, help them out. Oh, if not, what was the name of the website we used for Soul Plumber that was only a chain together independent comic book stores?

Bookshop.org. I believe that's it. Bookshop.org is a great place to go shopping for books. That's where I get all my books. Awesome. Great. Highly recommended. Also, I'm going to recommend a movie from 2009 during you, Mr. Oswald.

Big fan. Oh, I love it. It's got radio. It's got football. It's got a very, very nice idea. Big fan was fucking awesome. Thank you. All your work is awesome. You're such a legend.

And you were one of the reasons all of us got into comedy. It's true. Yeah. Shaving your back with the rusty tunic clan literature. One of my favorite jokes of all time. One fan out here on on Mike because I can't. I would never do it to you to your face. Thank you. Yeah. Commit the comedians of comedy documentaries. The inspiration for everything. That's the reason why we're sitting here today is because that documentary inspires me so much. And you got checks in the mail, don't let me. That I'll be taking an extra bag along the way. You got off easier than David Cross,

because the first time I saw him the first week, I moved to New York in 2006, and I tracked him down for two blocks, and I gave him a huge hug. You saw him, you saw him. You saw him. You saw him being fed. You know the reason I got it to comedy?

Who's first sweet? I can't believe I'm sure he wasn't thrilled. Can't believe I'm meeting you in the first week of August. I remember Doug Stanhope talking about how he was walking to his venue one time and he saw these crazy fucking looking guys walking down the street. So he changed the side of the street. And then he was watching go right into a show when he's just like always my fans. Well, we are amazingly blessed. Have such great fans and thank you so much for being here, Patten. And yeah, all right, everyone, that's been this month's

power cleanser. Yeah, that's it. Thank you all so much for listening to Hitler's help. Hell yeah. Magus Deletions, everybody. Mr. Razzwald, thank you for your participation. Watch your cocks. Mr. Razzwald, thank you for your participation. Watch your cocks. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them.

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