Last Podcast On The Left - Relaxed Fit: Unsolved Mysteries Roundup

Episode Date: August 1, 2020

On this week's Relaxed Fit episode, we talk about some of the odder unsolved mysteries that have since been solved — including a bizarre murder confession on a shock jock radio show.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left That's when the cannibalism started I think the biggest Unsolved mystery of all and when that keeps coming up again and again turning I swear to god if you mention what I think you're gonna mention I'm gonna be so pissed this is so many you know There's just been you know people have heard from direct sources people have analyzed from the outside You know time has now gone forward since the incident. I'm so sick of this But I think it enough of it within our world the biggest unsolved mystery has to be you know again who took a shit in the tub

Whether it be a bit or not there was a trial of the mystery pooper you can listen to it on the round table of gentlemen It's been solved. I need to put the past behind me and I need you and you I'm pointing at Marcus and Henry To allow me to move on with my life I have been punished and I didn't even do anything wrong because I Benjamin grandkissle did not Shit in the tub. I mean, I think it's funny that that's exactly where your mind went because I thought he was gonna talk about Scondili man. No, don't say his name ever again. This is the last podcast on the line. I am Ben with Marcus and Henry This is a relax. I'm speaking of putting things in the past. All right The s-man has gone out of control. Yes, he has but I'm not talking about in your your cynical way

I'm talking about We've unleashed something into the world Something that was a private part of my life that now is becoming realer and real is an amazing. We have amazing fan Are they very very big? But yes, if they're there's yes, there is one line of thought that kissle did not shit in the tub But there's a lot of there's a lot of thought wasn't there. There's a lot of different Before Lexi Holden's now wife Stepped in human dung and it was Mike my former roommate who I love with all my heart or hold in Yeah, you make the choice. I don't know. It just seems that you're

It's the way you sound like a man trapped in a corner. Like you sound like Marvin Heemire You sound like a man breezy little man driven to do unreasonable things by a quantical system That doesn't understand him anymore But it seems like you're flailing against a world that is that is evolving and searching for truth Would I take a dump in the White House tub? Yes Yeah, if I was in the White House and I was really Raging against the machine. Well, sure you can say that Parody sense this is parody

I would take a rocket launcher into the White House and I would shoot it right into the Oval Office But you would you will hold on a second You would take a rocket launcher into the White House But then you realize when you destroy the White House, you're inside of it. Yeah, man fucking bring it all down They'll see me dancing upon the rubble like narrow But I will say the way to do it as you go in there and you say it's a bouquet of flowers You have a big box. Is it bouquet of flowers want to congratulate Mr. Trump on a big win a hundred and fifty I know they're McCain he murdered her McCain. He murdered her McCain, but I

Yeah, I would just get right in there and I would I would In a parody world I would kill everyone in there All right, so check out the mystery pooper the trial of the mystery pooper it descends into chaos The round table of gentlemen is of course the show you'd have to go to for that one. Yes, of course and Marcus He's always had my back Marcus. You don't believe I shat in the tub I have my own theories I have two theories as to who shat in the tub neither of which I'll go into now, but Ben Kissel. You are not involved in either Because this is like the deep deep deep conspiracy world like kind of what we were talking about inside stories this week

About how there's a lot of double double conspiracy thought that UFOs like the traditional storyline of UFOs starting in 1945 with Roswell all of that bullshit was a another 4d chess move done by the Pentagon and they've been thinking ever since But at that time saying we'll set up this whole storyline so we could fly whatever we want in the skies and everyone will just say UFO but I think that takes more Coordination than any anything else. What does 4d chess even mean? Does that mean you have smello vision? What is 4d chess? I don't like what would that actually be if we're going with the actual definition of 4d That would mean that they also they play chess Also through time which I'm not sure if playing chess through time is possible. You can do it by letter

I can't even play words with friends. I can't even do that stupid ass game where your friends are supposed to fill in a word or whatever And like it's scrabble you can't you can't play scrabble No, because the other person that you play it with doesn't play it on the right time We've already talked about it Especially chess with friends it's like where are these people? I thought I had friends No, but speaking of games. I have been playing Last of Us 2 again Thank you so much for that personal shout-out. They wrote hail yourself and hail me and I believe even in a Gustalation showed up there at some point perhaps a few times in that game

And I have been living vicariously through what I believe is a 14-year-old girl who is experiencing or experimenting with lesbianism And I think that's wonderful. Oh, she's not experimenting buddy. She is full-on lesbian I don't know what's going on currently. I'm killing zombies as Ellie Um, she is badass, but I had it did take me a second to flip my brain into the psyche of a teenage girl And it is a lot of drama. I Anyone survived their teens remember after covering the slenderman attempted murder last week when we see the world of the 13-year-old is filled with like Sexual desire and thoughts of murder and you know, everybody's thirst after Timothy Shamal. I'm a ding-dong

My goodness gracious Marcus, you didn't prepare me mentally for how difficult this journey was going to be I wanted you to go into it completely blind I wanted you to experience the full last of us experience with no preconceptions But the next game you should play is definitely ghost of Sashima. Yes, I totally will because Marcus just described it as What is it? It's a ninja basically Samurai Red Dead Redemption. Yeah I want to switch or three. It's fantastic. I can't fucking wait dude. I can't wait to get into this I love the game. Yes, but not the billion-dollar gaming industry needs our help But last of us too thus far has been absolutely beautiful

And I'm still amazed at what they can do because you can see the grass moving you can see the horse tail Flapping around trying to arouse you it's incredible what these video games can do now. I sound like a 90-year-old man You do and they've been able to do that for 10 years. It's been a while 64 if you are not still amazed by it Then aren't you not looking at how amazing the world is you're also just not Enough milligrams on your edible intake because that's what's truly important What I love is the 10th eating is but eating as many edibles I can stand Sending in front of God of War and there are times Nat has walked in to me playing the video game. Just go on. Oh

I tell you what if I eat another box of fucking couscous I'm gonna be playing a couple of 5d chests, you know, I'm talking about my my back hurts from the size of my press Yeah, Ben if you're impressed with the grass physics wait till you get to the cord physics Oh, that's gonna be impressive the cord physics. Yeah, no, no, it's trust me. It's a gigantic achievement Okay, I'm very very excited about it. Cord physics sounds like playing all the veins and Sylvester Stallone's arms like a Man you gotta I was looking at some bodybuilders the other day on Instagram I got into bodybuilder Instagram They get big and there's this guy Brian cages in the AEW and he has grown

Ports of his body that I didn't know could grow. They find little muscles and they make them big They make them bigy bigy big and I was looking Nat caught me the other day watching a bunch of bodybuilders on Instagram I'm not I'm not jealous of them though. I think they're too big. No, I think they're fascinating. I love how much they eat I love that they get they make the grunts and I showed them to Natalie and she's like you try and tell me you're by Like I mean who knows I had a very sexual dream the other day with a man involved So that should help when we were pitching the shows I'll make sure to tell everyone I'll make sure I like a smaller man if I was gonna go for one Hmm a small one a fey one okay one with like little feet and a long nose. You want to hobbit?

No, it wasn't skinnier than I hobbit so you want yourself, but skinny. I guess that is not even me But I'm not here soo. Do you have to be hairless? This is very very strange You have to be here. Are you allowed to play grounds? I'm just what are you describing a child? I'm describing a woman In a way, I just wish I was a slinky Slight man with breasts with breasts and then and a vagina not a penis. I mean, you know what though? But I you know in the dark You could definitely hear feel the difference between a vagina and a penis you could just imagine it's something like a huge old

Clip, we're not in prison. We don't have to do that right now. Thank God Strong man Eddie if you want to watch a documentary on strong men speaking of how much they eat I was watching this documentary and he was complaining He's like I gotta wake up at 4 a.m. And I gotta eat and he has to have like 1700 calories per meal and I was like you fucking little bastard complaining about this shit Oh, yeah, and I was like what am I supposed to do? I'm supposed to feel sympathy for you I did that and I didn't work out what his name Brian Shaw Is that the Canadian guy that was the world's strongest man? I forget his name, but watching him house to lasagna's

And I'm just like I'm just fucking sick of this and it's like You're like 50 Garfields You know, this is an incredible existence Marcus. I understand that would be very stressful for you If you had to eat because you hate eating. I well, it's not that I hate eating I actually enjoy eating. I just find eating highly annoying I find the act I find the idea that I have to eat at least twice a day to be an extremely Annoying feature of being human. I like the sensual feeling of food going down my throat. It's fine That's that's what I've sort of realized over times. I like the activity of eating. Yeah, I know I've been eating a lot of salads lately

I've been going to health nut I hear in Sherman Oaks. It's called health nut. So they they come in they come on all the food Seaman is not bad for you technically. It's a very good protein You can put it on your face, too It makes your skin tighter apparently you can put it in your hair and it makes it look like a spider lives in there Yes, indeed. Well, we have a lot to talk about We really jumped off the reservation. None of this is what the show is about This is not what the last podcast is about the last podcast is about mysteries both explained and unexplained and on today's episode

Marcus has done a bit of research as he always does because he is addicted to work and I don't feel guilty about it anymore Lucas loves to work, okay? Really, it's it's more that work is absolutely necessary for success. That's more that's more what it is. Yeah, I Dictated to I don't like working. I don't like it. No one who do the only people who like working are people who don't have jobs Technically, you just had for work this week Henry you had to smoke a bunch of weed vapes. That was that was work I did is a big deal for our company. You we're gonna be moved. You'll see you're gonna see You'll see but let's get into some of these unsolved mysteries. Shall we mr. Parks? Yeah, I mean I didn't do a ton of work I read a couple of like an article. Oh, you didn't do a lot of work. So you just complained about all the work

I read an article on oxygen and oxygen on or in an article on vice, you know about you know That's the amount of work that I do and I don't complain But I also wrote He did right, but I will say that again This is not remotely tied to the new Netflix version of unsolved mysteries where I get paid by them I wonder Like if we should have been if we should have like organized that if we should have maybe Pitch this to Netflix to say hey, we're gonna talk about unsolved mysteries on the show not just like unsolved mysteries

Lower case you lower case and we're gonna talk about proper down unsolved mysteries Because there was stuff that came out that we want to talk about That's kind of behind the scenes, but if you watch the new season of unsolved mysteries Have you watched all the episodes yet Marcus? Yeah, I've watched almost all of them Yeah, the one with Pam Endress where she goes missing outside of her hair salon and her I think it's former It's like fiance or husband Rob Endress. Uh-huh. I believe that it was either or a boyfriend. They were close and I remember he is like obviously He's the suspicious one. Yeah of the episode and there's the only way to describe it is that he looks like if

If George Zimmerman lost his hair, right? Oh, he looks like he's a Zimmerman like you'd call him a Zimmerman if you saw him I like a type of person, but he goes on to describe in the show about how when he finally saw the remains of his His ex Pam, right? Like the person that it went missing But how like do you see this shit kissle? I didn't see this one He talked about how when they showed him all the skull and the bones that they left him He's like he asked for time alone with them, right? Which is the most suspicious thing of all, right? Which is like I would expect this out of dog meat, but I know that he would just be measuring him to see if they'd go on his shelf

Yeah, absolutely, and I would I really hope when I do die if that does happen Herman Cain has passed away. So I know death is real Um, I'm gonna put you on you do keep my bones Marcus or a piece of my body If I got room to store them, I will We're gonna put you got room to store them You can't move one of your horse skeletons for my femur bone I already have your femur bone. Yeah sure, but your skeleton is fucking enormous really very big So my goal is I've already have a plan for all of this

You don't even need to put him in storage because he's gonna be a roving show We're gonna put him in a glass case with a big chicken leg We're gonna put him in there like showing all the different things that he's bigger than and like only a watermelon We're gonna put a fire Bigger than a watermelon, but then I'll put like mugsie bogues Everyone's hiker than mugsie bogues That's what I'm saying, they're just gonna be interesting to see just how much bigger Yeah, the scale and then we'll you're gonna kill mugsie bogues in order to get his skeleton to make this exhibit in reality

I honestly think we could probably just pay mugsie bogues Yeah, we hire mugsie bogues to come in and like Just like bounce the ball around you just like him like and then we'll lift up a string attached to one of your arms To block one of his shots But Rob Endress when he goes in to see the remains he describes about how he picked up her skull And this is the woman he is probably I mean he probably killed her. I mean we don't know it's an unsolved mystery Okay, I don't think he probably killed her he there's something Suspicioso, I think he's just a very strange man. That's hard if you're alright if you're born strange a

Lot of times you just go to jail just for being a fucking icky wicky little weirdo Yeah, that's a lot of guys go to straight. It's jail for being icky wicky weirdos I don't I don't think I'm gonna get a murderer vibe from him So yeah, what happened with the skeleton, but he picked up the skeleton and I mean Eccles was innocent also I'm saying but he because he was an icky wicky little weirdo at the time. He went to jail for that He was just poor both You can be poor and weird Look at all of us

When he lifted up the skull of his precious wife and he's like and so I sat with them for a while And they let me sit with her for 25 minutes and he's like just so she knew that I was there. I Gave it a little kiss He picked up her fucking Grotting skull the skull that they'd found in the forest after being out there for months. Well, this is how COVID started Hey, he didn't try to sell it at market He just looked at it and it was just like cuz I you know, why would he do that? Oh, and he actually took it further like he eventually ended up being the guy in custody of

the remains and he ended up Sleeping with the remains at night like and and cuddling and he said he would cuddle with the box that contained his wife's ashes So I'm gonna have a time machine here and I don't want to go far back I'm just gonna go back 90 seconds Marcus when you said you don't get serial killer vibes How don't you? Because the man is sleeping with the corpse No, he wasn't happy about it at all like it's you know great people react very strangely when they're grieving this guy was Devastated and this was how he grieve this was that cuz he couldn't stand to not have her around anymore and the closest he could get

Was like cuddling and he would talk to the ashes to like you pretend that she was still alive Oh, I mean, I guess that's relatively normal every grandma and grandpa that has lost their partner. They just my grandma used to talk to her Her husband forever. I mean even though even though she definitely helped kill him. No, my Gd she had the shoebox of my grandfather's ashes on the chair every day What she'd walks or watch her Fox news and she'd pat him and it was great for them. I guess you think that there's a time when you just come In super hammered and you're you know your wife's ashes is in your little waifu body body pillow that you're now could I guess What do you can do you normally sleep with it? And at some point you're like, you know She'd never let me go on her face

Said that she was kind of maybe You called it going on her face She just said hey, maybe we'll do it for your 50th birthday and guess what I was 50 Three days ago. Oh, so it's just sad. Let's just whip one out The ashes are her face her butt her calves her shoulder its ashes that just roll the dice my friend roll the dice All right. Well, if you're going to ask to come on your significant other do not say go on your face You mind if I go on your face? You could see that happening in the heat of passion. I could see that

Yeah, you'd like go on your face, but the problem is make sure you both have the same meaning of go Yes, cuz all of a sudden she's waiting for dookie All right, well Marcus, what are some of the researches and what are some what's some of the unsolved mysteries? That we want to share with the audience. Well, we're not talking the new unsolved mysteries We're talking old-school unsolved mysteries. We're talking Robert Stack unsolved mysteries my man stack Now one of the most satisfying Experiences one could have while watching unsolved mysteries where the updates yeah When you discovered what seemed to be the fruits of everyone's shared experience watching the show even if you never actually called in a tip

Yourself if there was an update and somebody and it looked like someone was solved you felt like you did something cuz you were watching Can you imagine the suicide rate of the people that work at the hotline? For unsolved mysteries they must have received the craziest phone calls Yeah, and then at some point they must have just become friends with someone who desperately needed a partner in life People talk about that all the time, but the trauma of being a suicide helpline Operator being a 9-1-1 operator It's really difficult on the brain and the same thing with that the suicide rate of the people that spend their lives Going through content and Facebook removing all the child pornography and beheadings and shit that they have to watch because they can't figure out

Proper bots that can figure it out on their own. Well, that is the premise of a classic Horror splatter film evil Ed now as we know there were quite a few mysteries that ended up being solved because the show got the Case's attention although many of those mysteries were solved simply by viewers Recognizing a photo as opposed to the tireless sleuthing of amateur detectives. That is why I feel actually feel bad for Patton Oswald It's now a deceased wife miss McNamara. I mean this show she is Legit she was like a she had become like a cop at the end But the problem is all it takes is a DNA ancestry Dot-com search and then the case is solved. So 20 years of this woman's life or 10 years

Kind of got kind of got scooped by a Google search the documentary Very carefully shows that it was her idea To check 23 and me, but yes, it was after she passed So that they did all of the exhaustive breakdown of all the different families and all of the people like it took like two years of work Just to get through all of the different people that were involved. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yep. Yeah, almost makes you not want to work at all, right Marcus What's the point what's the point yeah Well, sometimes viewers even recognize themselves in one episode a man named Craig Williamson was reported to have gone missing

While on a business trip to Colorado Springs and his wife Maintained that he had to be suffering from amnesia somewhere. I wish oh Oh, cool, couldn't it just run off on his own and as it turned out she was right or at least Craig Williamson Latched on to the amnesia story and stuck to it saying that he'd been beaten by two men years before and had lost all memory of his previous life Yeah, babe. I just been like Whoa, I just whoo. Yeah, you have amnesia. Oh, that's what I have you have Oh, that's what I had the word. You know what the amnesia amnesia caused me to forget the family the bills Amnesia first of all to begin with because you left and we had the car payments

And we had all those things that we had to pay for what a fucking hassle that sounds like yeah It was pretty rough for me. I was then in single and I was looking for you and stuff. Yeah, I teach people how to body board now In Colorado Springs evangelical Christian capital of the country by the way, that's right Now but also one of the most fun shows that we ever did our show in Colorado Springs That was one of my favorite live shows ever That was an incredible it was it was 421 because the 420 show in Denver was almost impossible to do because everyone was too High to react and then they said Too high to set up the stage

Performed on six inches in front of the stage because everyone that worked there not to slander this place It's probably closed because it wasn't even great barbecue now. I am slander in it But that's just the facts they were too stoned to set up the stage and like they were like oh shows happening like a 759 shows at eight God I was never more mad at stoners in my life. I love weed but Give me a good alcohol. I can set up the stage that Denver that 420 and Denver made me look at my use of weed How much shit has fallen through the cracks in my own life I ended up in the fetal position in the hotel shower because someone gave me weed beef jerky

We didn't know it was weed until way too late Great beef jerky though. This guy Craig Williamson He did return to his wife after seeing himself on the show, but either he changed too much in the intervening years or He'd run away for a reason because he and his wife ended up divorcing not too long after the reunion Especially when you have to do the Linus walk with the sad thing with your blanket like back to your wife Leaving your whole world of smoking weed with snow bunnies Bodyboard on ground on the ground. This is insane But that's not to say unsolved mysteries didn't lead to big arrests when it came to murder. Yes in

1988 viewers in Moses Lake, Washington recognized murderers Missy Mundy and Jerry Strickland as new arrivals to the area and they promptly called the police Yeah, Missy Monday Missy Monday. Yeah, I'd recognize that that gout anywhere They just trying to find a word for taint Missy Monday just Missy Mundy just sounds like it's just a lot of a lot of brown down there It sounds like misty Monday that was in I believe it was a planet of the like naked apes It was like play. Well, do you remember that? It was a bunch of weird planet of the naked apes misty Monday was in a bunch of soft core Like movie parodies was she in dinosaur Island? Are you thinking about misty mountains?

No, I'm thinking about misty Monday. Her name was misty Monday. Yep. Misty Monday. That's a Roger Corman classic right there No kidding. You'd love it. It's dinosaurs and tits. Yep. Well, what if you jerk off to the dinosaurs? The problem is is that you'd you? What if you come when a t-rex is on camera next thing, you know, you can never find love because they're extinct I want to hear your story then. I want to hear your story as a paleo and sexualious That's right, aka dinosaur fucker. Well, Missy Monday 17 when her 26 year old boyfriend Jerry shot a money courier in the head for $11,000 at a gas station. She actually turned on Jerry and avoided major jail time. What a shocker. What do you mean? Well, Jerry is still doing life in prison

I'm gonna say this to you right now if you're planning to kill somebody over $11,000 It's a lot of money right now with but I will say right now. It sounds like a lot of money until you kill somebody for $11,000 and then the money's gone in two months and then you if you have to kill again You're gonna be like, oh, I might as well get a job Yeah, I mean, I feel like someone that would kill somebody for $11,000 first of all, that's not the least amount of money We've heard people dying for some people die over a buck. Yep. You go to you go to a casino You flip that next thing you got 22,000 boom. You flip that again next thing. You know, you're looking at 44,000 Boom, you flip that again next thing, you know, your middle class never

I mean, I'm gonna say this right now. If you get a LinkedIn invite from KMM Kessel money management I Can turn that 10 grand into 20 pretty quick. The strange thing is I could also lose it even faster I Could see you on a series of billboards in Los Angeles with your new catchphrase boom flip it Boom flip it You don't even know what you just did Unsolved mysteries was even responsible for catching a potential serial killer named Edward Bell

He'd killed a roughneck named Larry Dickens in 1978 But he later confessed to killing 11 girls Although no evidence of those murders was ever found holy shit interesting note about that episode Larry Dickens was played by Matthew McConaughey In one of the very first credited acting roles. That's incredible. He was a reenactor at first Yeah, why do people go into the police station and do this thing where it's like all right We got you for the murder and Larry Dickens and they sit there. We're like, I do you want better? Killed 11 young girls and they're all like Man, we didn't even fucking ask you about that. Well, I don't understand how you can have no evidence

Isn't there a family attached to these? 11 girls isn't someone like oh, yeah, my daughter did go missing. That's right. Like how is there no other names of the victims? And a lot of times what these guys do is that they'll confess to murders in order to get favors And they're like, you know, I'll confess these 11 murders. I'll tell you where these bodies are and it's like what is it? Henry Lucas Henry Lucas did it just so for Henry Lucas did it for strawberry milkshakes. I mean to be honest You're in jail. Hey, man, a strawberry milkshake will lift your mood unsolved mystery So also helped with cases that seemed unsolvable an episode in 1993 featured a box of bones Discovered by a man named Newell Sessions who discovered a human skeleton with a bullet lodged in its skull and a trunk

He'd received from a friend named Gabby Morris who said he bought the trunk at a yard sale and didn't know there was a skeleton inside Whoo, to be honest, you probably got that skeleton at a deal Because yeah, you're just buying a trunk because a skeleton a human skeleton probably go for about two grand. It's really expensive Yeah, I would think so. Yeah, very expensive. That's that's a great macabre episode of storage wars going on here I like this if storage wars was real there would be Yes, the store reality television producers plant things are you gonna do that? No I'm just saying because the storage unit that we have we go and there's just there's a man I walk in there every day and there's a guy washing himself in a bucket living in there is going like hey neighbor

Like he says that every time I walk in and I was like I don't live here, sir I just store things here. Yeah, me too. I store me Oh, he's a very smart man and rent is too damn high Well Darren the unsolved mystery segment on the bones It was mentioned that a grocery bag from a supermarket in Iowa was found with the skeleton Which caught the attention of Shelly statler whose grandfather had disappeared from Des Moines in 1963 It wasn't until 2017 that the bones were finally tested and sure enough they were discovered to be the remains of Joseph Mulvaney

Shelly's missing grandfather damn and as it turned out Mulvaney's stepson was Gabby Morris What are you explaining explain this to play explain the connections again? All right, so Gabby Morris gave this box of bones to a friend named Newell Sessions Wait, so Gabby is a guy Gabby is a man. Yeah I felt like Bill O'Reilly for a second. I was like What's going on now? It was the grandson, but now it's Gabby is now. She's a woman now It's like Gabby like Gabby Hayes the old act Gabby Hayes, you know I've never heard the name Gabby in a masculine sense, but I am I'm here for it. It is short for Gabs to fur

Well from what the grandchild said Mulvaney and Gabby's mother had an awful relationship the mother was Abusive and Shelly believed that her grandmother shot and killed Mulvaney Then buried the remains in the trunk then some years later for reasons unknown Gabby Morris dug up the trunk and Carted it around the country for years on multiple moves before finally leaving it with his friend Newell Sessions Was he fucking John Candy from planes trains and automobiles? He just had this thing with him. He just had this trunk with him everywhere Yeah, I I have moved several times with whole collections of bullshit that you just don't really like and I keep bringing like oh

No, I definitely need this nutcracker Honestly, I only really liked shelled nuts. I don't want to crack the nuts Well Gabby Morris thought that he could just give his friend the trunk and maybe that maybe the friend would never open it Because Gabby he pretty much knew that his stepfather's bones are in there even though he had nothing to do with the murder But and actually he was kind of right because you know to this day no charges has ever been leveled Against Gabby Morris. Well, what did he do wrong? I mean he didn't do anything wrong He just ran an illegal mortuary if we want to use the words of I can if we wanted to know was that from is that from the birds that's that's John Wayne Gates

Yeah, there's anything I'm guilty of it's running an unlicensed cemetery. Yeah, John and you're not a very funny clown and I Can you imagine having you know what honestly I? Give a fucking trunk full of bones to kissle because kissles not really a detail-oriented person Yeah, and so would you find your friend that wouldn't open the trunk? We all have a friend that would just have it sit in his house and not know and not care And if they open up to be like oh Halloween Halloween decoration. Yeah, I probably wouldn't react that much I don't react to mayor many many what other people would react to his catastrophic events I have just been through so many that I don't even feel them anymore. Do you think it's just a hole in your personality?

No, I think it's a defense mechanism that keeps us successful. You know what I appreciate it You have COVID-19 of the soul But even though unsolved mysteries was responsible for cracking over 200 cases One murder case that it ended up solving Wasn't even a crime in the first place But was instead an elaborate hoax that got way out of hand and the whole thing was cooked up by morning zoo Radio DJs and they say that us with we don't contribute anything to society On June 13th 1990 in Los Angeles the K-Rock morning crew Kevin and the Bean

That was a Kevin Ryder and Gene Bean Baxter They ran a segment called confess your crime in which listeners were encouraged to call in and do just that confess a crime solid This is actually a brilliant radio idea. It's a good bit. It's a really great bit But at 9 a.m Things took a dark turn when a caller telephoned in refusing to give his name He said that he'd done something terrible and he needed to confess and for some reason Kevin and the Bean in the morning seemed the perfect place to do it Oh, tell me we want to tell us immediately and don't have a cow, man

Merl, you got it, Bean. How you doing, Bean? I'm feeling it today, dude. I have off scoops this morning I'm just I can't even say anything because I am one of these people No, I mean morning morning zoo is that's our grandfather So we can't we can't do some too much not too much Well the caller continued by saying that he'd had a girlfriend for about six years It was on the verge of marrying her But it all ended when he came home one day to find her in bed with a good friend of his

Is this Garth Brooks? In the Thunder rolls did he really kill someone and then write the Thunder rolls? All I know is Chris Gaines is the single greatest transition in music history And I love Garth Brooks, but it was Chris Gaines wasn't successful though. No, no, I know but I loved it That was when if you just appeared to be a metrosexual people thought you were extra. Yeah So he just combed his hair and everyone's like whoa. No way. That's Garth. That's Chris Gaines. I will say if anybody killed somebody It was never Garth Brooks Garth Brooks it. No, it was Chris Gaines And he explained that to the police probably several times and they probably let him off just thinking like yeah, you're right

Yeah, we'll never catch Chris Gaines because your hair's not died right now. Yeah exactly So after this caller told the story about coming home and finding his girlfriend in bed with his best friend He seemed a little hesitant to continue But after Kevin in the bean did the requisite amount of morning zoo prodding like come on bad Tell it tell us the story tell us the story Give us give us a three farder would you? Nice after that the caller admitted that he'd beaten his girlfriend badly after the discovery and after a little bit more prodding He admitted that he'd beaten her to death

Yes, that's a rough that's a rough fucking war the roses called This is nine o'clock in the morning So, you know, they also have to cut to commercial at some point and it's just like this is Terry with Mifflin tires Come on down three for one. Oh More like one for three Immediately like that sounds pretty wacky. You know, it's wacky tonight Bob Saga with America's ha funniest home videos Kevin in the bean passed the four-minute phone call off as 100% real Sounding suitably shaken after the supposed confessed murder hung up when the DJs began suggesting that he get help for his problems

Wow, nothing like Kevin and the bean telling Someone that they need help if Kevin and the bean is telling you to seek mental help You are crazy as shit. Sometimes it's nice to get you never know when that really good reach out It where it's gonna come from Kevin and the bean who knows Kevin in the clip might Well listeners didn't know though and what Kevin and the bean never said was that the whole thing was a setup Yeah, in reality the caller was a fellow radio DJ from Arizona named Doug the slug Roberts They both just have nicknames That Brian with your first name Jean the bean and Doug the slug welcome back to dog though

Slug radio We're gonna get the let out here Man, that's uh, it's easy to fill time when you're a dog Now the whole point of this stomp was to get attention, you know give people a little water cooler talk hold on a second You think more names you DJs did they want attention? I don't know about that. I am desperate for attention Yeah, and because that's what they later said they're like, you know We just wanted somebody give some people something to talk about at the water cooler You know like have people talking about Kevin and the bean after they get to work. Why do they all sound like Doug's best friend?

But as it turned out people take murder confessions pretty seriously oh Even in the 90s, huh? Even in the 90s. Yeah, the station received immediately 60 calls and several faxes from people who thought that maybe they knew the identity of the killer Then the LA County Sheriff's Office got involved because after all they very well couldn't ignore a public murder confession And when they spoke with Kevin and the bean the zoo crew Did not own up to the hoax Because at this point you are locked into the bed Myself going to jail

For a bit for the night not understanding that it's a crime to just lie to the police like not knowing just keep saying like Because every time I say something and I look over a kiss on give him a wink Right. Yeah. Yeah, he beat her to death. Yeah, Henry You're probably going to tell the cops it was all a joke buddy because we are I'm in cuffs you're in cuffs Marcus has said that he is not bailing us out again a kiss. I'll tell you what there's nothing funny But a man beating a woman in that I said that you're trying to make the joke still every week or we are in custody Well because Kevin and the beans like gave statements to the police as if this whole thing was real The officer put in charge of the case

Sergeant John Yarbrough spent weeks Sifting through leads and coordinating further investigations with police around the country who are looking to clear similar cold cases This is the type of situation that explains why sometimes a cop will pull you over for having like a broken taillight and give you like five tickets It's just like one of those things you can see him doing this all day and then leaving and being like, you know Fuck this guy in a bicycle. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna beat the shit out of this guy That's the scary thing. That's why cops need therapy to I agree well after that the local news picked up the story and Television crews mobbed K-Rock to interview Kevin and the bean who just kept saying over and over how stunned they were at the whole Situation they can't I can't believe a guy would call in here and tell us that he beat a woman to death

Right Kevin this is very serious. I'm being I am obviously I always love that morning zoo radio does establish alpha character and beta character always always and for a while it worked out for everyone ratings went up and Probably going off of the recommendation of Kevin and the bean Doug the slug was hired as the nine to midnight guy for K-Rock. This is why people Nepotism that you see mirrored in all society where you got Doug the slug What kind of meritocracy allows Doug the slug to get the nighttime spot? Honestly, that's perfect I mean he probably led to a lot of drivers falling asleep and getting into car accidents and dying

But nonetheless Doug the slug nine to midnight. That's a perfect shift. That's a good shift Yeah See the whole thing was on its way to petering out because Sergeant Yar borough said that he'd suspected the whole thing was a hoax from the very beginning But everything changed when the call was aired on an episode of unsolved mysteries I think we're in trouble, man. Yeah, I'd say we were That was a sad fart that was actually a worried fart still funny. Oh being still funny bean The segment in question involved 19-year-old Angela Cummings who had been discovered dead in her boyfriend's home in northern

California just two months after Doug the slug played the part of the killer on Kevin and the bean Now by total coincidence the story that Doug the slug made up matched a lot of the details in the Angela Cummings murder not good. I think he did it And as a result the LA County Sheriff's Department received 400 calls from would-be sleuths Oh, shit Now Kevin the bean and the slug had all decided they were gonna take this thing to the grave if at all possible Everybody out here listening. All right, we all love bits, right? but

Andy Kaufman's life was ruined by bits and he no one still believes he's dead, right? They still don't believe he's dead I honestly still hold out some hope that Andy Kaufman will show up But it doesn't help your life to be locked in a lie in a bit now It's going to take you to court. Well 10 months after the unsolved mysteries episode aired One of the three of them trusted the wrong intern Oh the whole story. It was the bean first of all one of the three It wasn't Doug the slug and it certainly wasn't Kevin. It was bean. The bean was fucking flirting with Demetria The new 23 year old intern that showed up being like, yeah, you know radio is kind of difficult because of the stress, you know

It's a whole thing and she's just like yeah. Yeah. Is that why you fart so much bean? Yeah, I am a lot deeper than it would be See I can't escape it. I'm the bean no matter where I go I wish I could shut the bean off That's your moneymaker, baby. Come on. Well after this intern discovered the truth He called the sheriff and turned in the zoo crew That's just a bad employee I wonder because I I love the idea of like I never want to get to the area where I'm like

Trust testing like everyone in the in the network, you know I mean like floating a fake lie to see if someone says something and then be like that's our leak Like they do with the cia does right. Yeah. No, absolutely. Of course. We trust everyone that works here at the lpn network We only do the strictest of vetting processes, which is uh, can you talk to ben after he's had 10 bud lights? The answer is yes, you're hired Well as far as consequences went all three dj's were suspended from krock for six days Oh Honestly, they just did a really good job

It's the best Like radio call in bit of all time This reminds me of howard stern's private parts where he's like the ratings are up and then pig vomit is like the ratings are up How are the ratings up? But we hate them and it's like kevin and the bean are just like we are selling so many godfathers pizza ads This is amazing. All we had to do was pretend that we know someone who killed a woman It's the funniest bit. We could think this is brilliant Well, they were also ordered to perform 149 hours of community service each the worst landscaping crew ever You imagine that kevin and the bean cleaned up the highways. No, it's the same

If it's the fucking three of us had to clean up the highways. It would just be me just going like it's hot It's hot. I got my shoes dirty. Well, you guys picked up 30 bags of fritos and a bunch of different things here on the Side on the street, but you left 5,000 cigarette butts. Oh, yeah, I made those cigarettes. You did that So technically the streets are dirtier than ever. Thank you. They were also ordered to pay 12 170 dollars to the sheriff's department to replace the funds officers spent Investigating the non-existent crime. Well, well the 149 hours of community service That was to match the 149 hours the officers spent Investigating this bullshit

The officers are a little petty That was the judge that was the officers The judge is a little petty. I love it. I love a creative sentence Yeah, yeah, well actually kevin and the bean they were still going on k-rock as the morning show until march of this year No, shit. Yeah good for them Yeah, when that's when the longtime k-rock morning crew was unceremoniously fired And I looked it up and I saw bean did it was either kevin or the bean one of the two put out a tweet That said, uh, yeah, we just got fired. Uh, they had security come up and escort me out. Don't know why I would have gone quietly

That happened to me When I gave my my speech to the head hunting agency and I threw my tie at him saying like I am not to be bought and sold I am not a product to be moved. I am a man. I'm a man with a mind a man with a soul. Yes, you are. Uh, did you fart? That's my bit. This is my torture. I am doomed to make every child smile Honestly, I think that you always have to escort the bean out with security even if he's not fired I just feel like he always otherwise he's gonna sleep there. Yeah, because you know, he doesn't have a house No, no, this is a third divorce like at this point. This is on the third divorce. You're living on a boat That's not a house boat. You think that's a joke. But I I personally know someone who was living at wabc

And he's a great guy. He's well. He's a he's a character. I'll say that But it was after his last divorce that I was like you're sleeping here And that was really that's a strange revelation when you think that someone might be successful And then you realize they're just sleeping in their office at a different radio station That's why our big goal is to move offices for last podcast network so that it's more nice Just in case when one of us goes through our first divorce We have a place to go to that we can also work really hard into the night and then force everybody else to work with you Perfect. I love it. Well, it'll be one of you two

Who gets divorced first? Well, that's another fun game for kevin and the bean Dug the slug on the other hand He's been a serious xm dj on the lithium channel for years. He goes by slug. He goes by sluggo I didn't even know that that was sluggo. Yeah, that's sluggo sluggo. Henry. I don't know him But you listen to lithium all the time. Yeah, so I could feel contemporary again because in my songs for my generation are on the radio So you know sluggo. Why listen to sluggo every time and how is he? He sounds like a sluggo and he's very cynical Because he's generation x. Yeah, it means it was whole thing. It's him just being like

Yeah, are you people going out there and uh, you know, there's some people out there even thinking about going out to vote Like saying stuff like that being like they say to rock the vote more like mock the vote. All right. Let's play some allison chains Always with the fucking allison chains. It's nothing but allison chains But you know what every month I re fall in love with them. Really? There's one song allison chains the rooster the rooster is good song man in the box Great song. Yeah spoon man. That's what I said spoon man. It's great great sound garden song Yeah, so now now look who's stupid bean

I wish I could stop well I wish I wasn't born this way you're too good bean Too good for this world. What is stupid is the morning zoo cruise actions where I think unsolved mysteries also share some of the blame here See the thing about the call is that dug the slug very clearly said that he'd beaten his girlfriend to death Furthermore it was implied that the murder occurred in los angeles the murder of lisa comings on the other hand That was death by gunshot not by beating and it it occurred 450 miles away in the strange little northern california town of yuba city A yuba is spanish for tuba. Yes indeed. I love that so it's tuba city But it's how you pronounce it in the spanish you pronounce it yuba yuba very nice

It's a very strange little town. I used to spend summers there when I was a kid That's where my aunt and uncle lived in yuba city really no kid weird place For some reason I don't see you and your family traveling well No, we travel great really because yeah, we drove from texas to yuba city. I think the problems are when they're head home Yeah That's a ragtag group of people there you and your younger you and your older brothers just being when we all hung out in new york We had a blast that like the little mini bachelor party that we had fun But I don't know if the bartenders really enjoyed the texan sensibility. They loved it

They were all they kept the big cowboy hats on everybody loved it. Well, I love the texan male very flamboyant dressers great dancers Fantastic dance your whole family's a great bunch of dancers mr. Parks. Thank you very much If you have if I ever got married you could see how the germans move But you know, we've seen how the german moves they get their feet real high and they they love to point at the clouds Yes, indeed they do Let's see a lot of stuff in those clouds Well to put the distance into perspective there while both la and yuba city are in california The distance between the two is roughly the same as the distance between los angeles and phoenix

Which isn't very close at all. No, right? What it seems like to me is that a producer on unsolved mysteries had discovered this call They wanted to use it in some capacity and they shoehorned it into the lisa coming's episode because let's face it A radio caller confessing to a murder is great fucking television. Absolutely. It really is Do you remember that famous call from coast to coast a m from the guy who said he worked at area 51 those panicked calls? I mean, that's the only show that still still has great calls I was listening to an episode recently with jock valet. I don't think it was actually I don't think it was that well I think it was not that recently

I just said that the other day that 2012 was just like, oh, you know, it was not that long ago It was only 2012 and they're like fucking almost a decade ago. Yes, indeed. Um, but the jock valet like I still love the calls on coast to go sam because it's still like something like Yeah, I just had them all yeah, I'm coming down 995 and tell me you think uh Do you think that buffalo can possibly be magnets for ghosts I'll take my answer off the air. Thank you very much and like that kind of shit. I love it I love that indeed when I replaced the late, uh, alan combs there on the radio

I loved the calls. Um, of course, it was fox news radio So I had to argue with a lot of white supremacists and also people who really believed alex jones And I wish I could actually talk to them now Given the uh, the past two years of alex jones literally calling himself the uh, it's dotarded But he used the r on joe rogan. I watched that clip again where alex jones is like, yeah, you know, I'm I'm kind of You know He was a uh He was a mess on that show. Yes, he was and he ruined everything for himself on that show. Yes, he did

Yes, besides all his he took that it took him smoking a joint and being Drunk off his ass on camera to destroy him despite all of the other just horribly destructive things that he's done If you want to have three hours of fun times watch his deposition on sandy hook quite fascinating Have y'all uh been updated on his, uh, dwi arrest Do we know what's going on with that the one where he said that I was just going on to get ice cream with my wife No, we talked about a little bit on side stories But yeah, it was an ice cream walk home and then he walked home Well, he got in because the whole thing was that they were enough

He said he said he was trying to get ice cream with his wife, but it turned out they were in a massive fight And then she got in the grove off She's like he drove off. They know she drove off then he walked home Then he got home and then they got into another fight and then he drove off But he then did technically he was going for ice cream, but it was for a middle of fight I'll get some ice cream to come now and then she called the cops on him and she said he was hammered It's squint like driving in like a snake afternoon vodka. Yeah It was a relax. Yeah. All right. I don't think that man does relax

Unfortunately, no good whatsoever came out of the confess your crime hoax because the murder of lisa comings is still unsolved to this day Oh, Jesus christ. We got to solve that dang murder. That's unfortunate. And we're doing it tonight. We're doing it tonight, bean Bean you want to do that? That's the most I haven't heard you so happy in years. I'm gonna tell you honestly that that was unplanned and I have unfortunately I have shit in my In my basketball shorts. Okay. Well, that's dropping on the floor bean. Thank you so much for not wearing underwear And this is a thing to remember to everybody any caller on the radio is fake Oh, all of the reward. I mean, we know actors. We know actors all the war of the roses

Not real. Unfortunately, they used to be real. But then I think some actual Domestic violence was occurring and I had to fake it. Yeah. So yeah, because I did them Well, that and jenny jones if you were called jenny jones that murder where the guy came out Does he love this other guy and then the guy was like, oh, I'm too embarrassed and he kills that guy So jenny jones kind of ruined it also. Oh, wow. And then like jerry. So jerry springer all that stuff I don't even think those people are in the clan. They I mean, that's a big leap to hire a bunch of bg and being like, okay. Here are your robes Here you go. Just don't worry about this. People are so they are so

Horny to become famous. They would do it. Yeah, I don't I don't doubt that Definitely not and that is the unsolved mysteries roundup. All right. Wow. That is incredible It's amazing the power of radio what it used to be for people, you know, I mean nowadays it's all It's mostly commercials Honestly, well now we this is the world of radio. It's like this and now we're seeing what happens We have the people break stuff all the time break stuff People go in like their history is being made by podcasts more often than not Yeah, and what an exciting conversation that would be if we had that but we won't because I was joking about it being exciting

Okay, so There's still some good radio out there. I I enjoy listening at wfu v in the shower. They're great They're the college radio station out of for them. They do well There it is folks radio roundup I love that. I am uh, all right, uh, yes, also outlaw country on serious. There's yeah, I love outlaw country I love willy nelson's. I want to say it's willy nelson's backyard No, it's really a bone yard. There's a lot of yards on xm willy nelson's Oh, what the hell is it called gravelly bush? It's called willy's roadhouse. Really's roadhouse. Yeah, it's a lot of locations where

In I don't always serious xm always has a thing where you go to like a you know on a radio station It's like they pretend like it's a house that you're hanging out Of course for the whole time you're like, but I'm not hanging out. So I'm in a car. What's the name of that rodeo the country? Uh, jamboree that show is cab. Are you talking about the texas cowboy union? No, no, it's called something jamboree It's an outlaw country. I heard the same show about eight times when I was driving across country with my dogs hanging out She went to pack I need road weary

Yeah, all of a sudden all of them billboards look like pretty old girls and she's jerking off the billboards I Like just the flat boards. Oh, yeah country country ban country ban. Um, all right everyone. Well, thank you for listening Uh, we hope you're doing all right out there in radio land I don't know what to do now. What were you taking your calls? Check out the merch. Yes. Check out merch You literally physically have to last podcast merch.com. Check it out. We've got our fan design shirt That is up yawn and we are going to have a new one next month. That is coming very soon Um, I want y'all to check out our live show last podcast live. Remember that remember that remember when we could do that

That show was uh, that was a hoot and uh, we're figuring out what's happening for next year I think we'll we'll be able to see y'all at some point next year. My goal is just go from house to house um With no one knows that there's a show and we just get a megaphone and we just do the show at people's house and then Say you we won't leave until you pay us. Yeah, we can start busking. I like that idea. No problem there Absolutely. Yeah, check out the merch. Check out all the great shows here on the last podcast network Uh, check out if you want to know about music marcus parks in carolina hadalgo They are working on a little series on the cramps right now, which is awesome

Yeah, if you've been waiting for the cramps series to be over before you, let's do it all part three was released Uh on thursday, so go check that out cramps one two three Check out page seven. They're doing a very in-depth breakdown of britney spears right now Which is actually very fascinating leave britney alone if she is being uh held under locking key against her will by her father get britney out of there Uh, indeed. She's been abused by the industry for too long I mean to be honest jt. Justin timberlake was the only relationship she had where she was truly treated as an equal And I think he deserves some credit for that. You know a lot about this I I'm one of those where it's like I feel like I'm very sad for britney that she was abused by the hollywood system

But I'm like I could have used some more of that. Yeah, you didn't look like her at 16 Yeah, I mean I probably at the same cup size. No, that's very possible Um, the lpn show speaking of music. We had mckenzie nicole on for this week next week We'll have some more great people that are in the network or around the network whatever it might be Yeah, top at we've got politics. We got wrestling kind of fun. We got well, you know all the shows All the nerd stuff you ever wanted to hear from from two of the nerdiest people We know on wizard wizard and the bruiser. This is the only place where it's really not an insult Where because they are such um excruciating nerds. It makes the show really good. Yeah, that's the whole thing. That's that's the

that's what the Holding could also be the bean He would be a great bean. He would be All right, everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening. Hope you're doing okay out there. Hail yourselves Hail Satan! Hail again. Magus Dalatians everybody Hail me, you trashy little monsters. Oh, wow, I'm bean You still got it. I can't believe they fired you unfortunately

I went to the doctor the other day and they said um the farts are mostly caused by it seems to be a malignant tumor It's kind of grown pretty significantly in my colon. So, uh, ha ha bean Um, I have six months to live that is great bean This is what's happening every 30 seconds now. It seems like it. I'm decaying. Yes, you are bean This show is made possible by listeners like you Thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcastnetwork.com