Last Podcast On The Left - Relaxed Fit: Where Are They Now?

Episode Date: November 6, 2021

On this week's Relaxed Fit, we ask Where Are They Now? We take a look at some infamous murderers who didn't simply waste away in prison. What happened to Karla Homolka after the dust settled on the Ken & Barbie murders? Where does Casey Anthony wet her whistle? And has America forgiven OJ?Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

Hey, what's up, everyone? How you doing? Ben Kissel here with Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, it's me, man. Yeah, bro. Henry Zabrowski is smoking some of that sweet last podcast of the last day. Go out there and purchase yourself some. I hope you enjoy it. We have sativa, we have indica, and we have a hybrid, and I have to tell you, for my personal experience, they are wonderful. Super tasty, live resin. You really get the delicious, weedy taste, which is what I like, and three different experiences. You go to your local vape store and get it. Absolutely. Thank y'all so much for supporting the show.

We absolutely love you. Can't wait to see you on the road and get that vape, put it in your brain, and have a good time. And if you want to set your favorite weed store, give them a call and ask for them by name. Last podcast on the left, it's weed. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. A roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge. Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, we bring you Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans. Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last part. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? This whole episode, it really reminds me of Ringo Starr's solo crew. And what he had to do afterwards. I was just listening to his no-no song. No-no. It's all about him saying no to weed and no to cocaine. And then he goes like, no, no, I'm not going to be smoking. Like he does this weird Jamaican accent.

And this is where I really feel where Carla Hamulca is now. She is Ringo Starr doing a Jamaican accent. Don't do that to Ringo. He was a fantastic drummer. He should have stuck to drumming. Ben, the word you're looking for is competent. He was a competent drummer. What's more fantastic than that? It's like a famous joke now, but how Ringo wasn't even the best drummer in the Beatles. Alright, I'm not going to allow it to stand. Welcome to last podcast on the left, everyone. I am Ben with Marcus and Henry.

And today's episode, we are going to fill in a couple of cracks that we weren't able to get to. This is a real crack filler. This is a crack filler. This is a plumber's episode. Fill in the crack. We weren't able to get to all of the crazy post-prison life when discussing Carla Hamulca. So today we will discuss that. Dare I say today's episode in many ways? It's about second chances. Oh, isn't it? And don't we all need a second chance even if we kill our own sister?

I knew Carla Hamulca actually didn't deserve a second chance. Yeah, maybe not. Now, when we ended last week's episode, we talked a little about what Carla Hamulca did following her 10-year stint in prison. Namely, we said that she married her lawyer's brother and had children with him, but currently lives alone in Quebec. What is it with lawyers marrying their most problematic clients or lawyers' brothers? You get intimate, right? You spend years working together.

You know all of her secrets. She is confided to you. You've seen the inside of her asshole and her pussy for so long because you watched all those videos and you just put your hand over what she was doing, right? You just saw her nude body. You put your hand over on the screen physically so you could see what was actually happening. And you're like, you know, I think a lot of people misunderstand Carla. You start saying that more and more often. I think that actually there's something inside of Carla that I can access and it'll actually help me be a better lawyer and nay, I better man.

Well, that's funny. That happens a lot with Carla Hamulca. Men specifically who spend a lot of time around her, the more time they spend around her, the more somewhat sympathetic they become towards her, the more she, I don't know, she trapped. I mean, she definitely does a siren song on these guys and convinces them. Even though they've all seen the videos, they all know what she did, they've heard the testimony, they know everything and yet when she is one on one with them, she can fuck it and she can bring out that little snake dance, man. She knows how to do it. She is a shape shifter.

I think that she's like her and Paul Bernardo were a good couple in that way where it's because she shifted into whatever he wanted him to feel like and he wanted her to be, right? So she fed it, she liked the song and dance and it wasn't until the heat got too hot that the chef had to leave the goddamn kitchen was because it had come down to it. He was turning his murderous impulses to her. She was definitely next on the list.

I did get a good update about the nature of how the videos were found and how they were not found in the police search. They were actually found by the defense lawyers before. Well, that was a bad thing for them to find. After they went through the house, right? So this is the way they talked about it in this documentary I was watching. After they went through the house, basically, I mean, and this is barely an exaggeration. The police officers were like, you wouldn't even believe how we went through that house.

We bound it, we tied it down, we made it tell us Merry Christmas. We were through that whole goddamn house, right? They couldn't find it. Apparently it was in a cookie jar. It was in a jar in the kitchen. And it was wrapped up with a note that says, A, if anybody finds this, if you're a teen, the only people who are allowed to find this are people who lived inside 57 and Bayview.

They're the only people allowed to read this letter. And then they read this letter that said, if anybody has found these tapes inside while the police are doing their search, you have to call me with the code, hey, how are the J's doing today? That means that they found the tapes in the search. Oh, so he says blue J's, yes. Blue J's, yes.

But if not, they're supposed to call and say, hey, how are the leaves doing? Which is the maple leaves. That means they didn't find the tapes. His lawyers found the tapes, they said they had lunch. Well, they better find the tapes during baseball and hockey season. They had lunch inside of the house. Inside of 57 Bayview. That part of the Lucy house, right, where all of the end murders happen.

They just sat there having whatever, eating cod nose, whatever, weird Canadian burgers they decided to have. Perhaps a burger. But that's how it then it turned into this game, essentially, where then Paul said, destroy the tapes. They're like, that's destroying evidence. We can't do that. Now you've tied us in and then his lawyers kick the can to the crown lawyers.

Maybe record over the tapes with a little tool time. But they tried to actually blackmail the courts by saying, hey, you're going to give us a plea deal for Paul Bernardo. We're going to make everybody see these tapes. And the crown was like, yes, everybody has to see these tapes. All right, there you go. Well, the road to Carla living alone in Quebec is long and winding. And it's on today's episode that we'll talk about Carla's life in prison

and what happened to her after she was released. Sounds like she's living a real duck dick there after prison. I don't understand. She's living and winding. Oh. Life is nothing more than a duck dick, isn't it? I was just thinking of the Cheryl Crowe song. Life is a duck dick.

I'm flying, landing on. Oh, yes, of course. Closer. So skinny. It's very thin. In addition, we'll also talk about the post-prison lives of some notorious American criminals who did their time but currently live fine and fancy lives. Fat and sassy.

Oh, I love that one. Eat some soups, cook some bread. Now, after Carla Homulka testified against Paul Bernardo, she was sent to the unimaginatively titled Prison for Women in Kingston, Ontario. Ontario, which I love giving it some island spice. What do you want them to call it, to be fair? What do you want? Ontario, I love it.

But Prison for Women just sounds like an ABC comedy. Oh, nice. Orange is the new black. It's kind of funny being in jail. I remember the nude scenes. I don't think they're warning. What? No, no, dude.

Oh, the fucking Orange is the new black was great. Everybody's nude in it. Yeah, I understand. Well, let's take a fun little side journey into the Prison for Women for just a moment. In the early 1960s, 23 inmates at Kingston's Prison for Women were given LSD as a part of a psychological experiment. But unlike the Concord Prison Experiment where young offenders were given psilocybin under supervision with some positive results,

the Prison for Women experiments just seemed cruel and again lazy. Next year, we're going to be doing a big series that I'm very, very excited for. But this will feature into that in a way because a lot of the experiments that went down for human behavior controlling did happen in Canada. And they were trying to see what happened because the United States has a really good way of being like, you do it. Give us the test results afterwards and then we'll blame you for what you did, you dirty Canadians.

They still had to say yes. One involuntary participant named Dorothy Parker, 17 at the time, said that she was given LSD when she was in solitary confinement and then she was just left alone. That's not a fun trick. No, it's not, dude. This is government acid. Do you remember that from Project Edmund? This shit is not cool, it's not fun or light.

It's hot off the presses, it's right out the batch and it's not cut. There's nothing to look at, you can't even see any colors or anything. It's got to be sad. The walls melted, the bars of her cells turned to snakes. And she was so terrified that she could only scream without noise. Or she fucking terrifyingly put it, she could only dry scream. When you don't have the time to wet scream on your way out for a night on the town, get yourself a bottle of dry scream.

Was the prison psychologist scarecrow? What the hell is going on? Why are they doing this? They were inspired by us. She should have just, I mean, you could have also given her ultimate power to break open the bars and escape the prison. Sometimes when you're on LSD, you think you're really strong but then you realize you're just holding a piece of bread. You joke but there's a lot of people that did sort of believe that.

We talked about it a little bit when we did Project, I believe with Stargazer, I forget what the term was, when we were talking about remote viewing. We do believe, there was some theory in the end that like maybe you can truly trip hard enough to see the atom linings of things and like believe it through them. Well, this is the early 60s. This is when LSD was brand new.

It was not well understood at all what it could do. This is better living through chemistry. They're thinking at this point, I mean, for fuck's sake, the Nazis just conquered France by being on meth. And that was never possible before. It was a huge advertisement for meth. I mean, it is kind of fun to pretend like you're in Castlevania. All the bars are snakes, the walls are melting.

If you wanted that. I do purposely inside of my own home. If I do acid inside, my house is still just a fucking horror house inside of it, right? It's just animatronics and cobwebs all over everything because we haven't had time to clean anything. But the idea of I took acid and just stayed in the room with my animatronics, then it's fun.

That could be fun. Because then they talk to you, you learn about their backstory. They tell you all sorts of things, what it means to be a living scarecrow. You start a band with them. Do you guys ever see that band captured by robots? No. Oh, it's fantastic. Anyway, the whole lead singer was captured by his robots

and he would sing and the robots would make him sing. I mean, that's cool. But yeah, it's voluntarily, it's fun. Yeah, exactly. Well, another unwilling inmate who withheld her name said that she was given LSD and also locked in her cell. In her cell while she was tripping, she slashed her left arm and hallucinated spiders crawling out of the wound.

By the time she got to the point where she could even try to sleep, she convinced herself that the spiders had all ejaculated and their semen had turned into more spiders which were all trying to crawl up her vagina. To prevent this, she stuffed every orifice on her body with wadded up toilet paper. And you just have a spider cum. A spider cum is hard to get rid of.

Have you ever tried to get it out of a bunch of clothes? It's hard. After I just did Spider-Man two holidays in a row? I know. You and Marcus as well. You guys know about spider cum. You know about spider cum. It sticks to the wall.

I know all about spider cum. That's how he sticks. Isn't that... Oh, yes. Is it kind of cum, isn't it? The spider web itself, doesn't it come from... It depends on what sort of Spider-Man canon you're going for. If you're going for organic web shooters,

then yes, some sort of bodily fluid that shoots out of his body. But canon, for the most part, Spider-Man does have web shooters that he has constructed that shoot a concoction that he himself has made. Because remember, Spider-Man is also a scientist. He's a boy scientist. He's a child scientist. He's a scientist who turns into a man scientist.

Did it give him spider intelligence? That is a perk. No, he was already smart. That was his whole problem because he was nerdy Peter Parker and he was always getting bullied by Flash Thompson and all the other assholes. And then the spider bites him and then he goes and he tries to make money being a wrestler

and then he lets the burglar go and Uncle Ben gets killed and then it's so on and so forth for 50 fucking years. Someone's got to make a movie or a comic book about that. Because that is crazy. That is insane. But yeah, side stories LPOTL is webs, shit, or cum. Thank you. It's definitely a bodily fluid. We'll find out, Marcus. We'll find out.

But also, all of this shit is being yelled at, like, fervently by a man with little tiny little circle glasses. That's how you know he's an old-timey psychologist going, Interesting. It's so scary. And that's it. And you're like, what does this data serve? Where? What is it? Who? What is helping? Exactly.

Well, as far as long-term effects went, both of these women suffered from post hallucinogenic perceptual disorder. Dorothy, it's basically flashbacks for the rest of your life that can come at any time and they're always terrifying. Dorothy, for example, could only sleep if she held her arms across herself like she was in a coffin. She couldn't look in mirrors for fear that she'd be drawn inside. She had difficulty walking downstairs

because her depth perception was all fucked up and she couldn't look at her own skin for too long lest she see it bubble and ooze. Are you just talking about Phil Lesh? Because they feel like he must do the same. Is he dead? No, no, no, no. Falconfish, I think, has eight, five, eight million dates for this year,

so they're doing fine. They're busy, man. I like that oculus kind of thing, dude, like going into the mirror and stuff. Tripping and looking in the mirror, that's what I did for seeing this bachelor party for many, many hours. But it's fun because what's in there?

I've always heard it's the worst possible idea. You learned a lot about yourself. I thought it was actually really fun. I mean, I was locked in a bathroom. I feel nice to cross the gauntlet of your own ego and personality because that's what it is. It's like you're facing yourself, and it's just like you having the ultimate evil

because then you really have to look. It's like in Neverending Story when he looks in the mirror and it's just being like, because it shows you who you really are and then you have to look at who you really are and do you like that man? Or do you smash the fucking mirror? Do you like what you see?

Do you like what you see? Now supposedly these experiments were set up to test the possible therapeutic applications of LSD. That was the whole point. Let's give it to him and see if he can face it. But I... You're gonna give it to him a Peloton. Like somebody got me an exercise bike.

Why did you draw something? Why don't you buy anything? No, what I think the Canadians didn't understand is that you gotta like talk to your patients and guide them through their trip. They just gave them a tab and locked them away for a few days. But they were smoking a fucking brisket. Oh my god, that's horrible.

Horrible. And forgetting. No, remembering. Because those are human beings and cells. Thinking that the spiders are coming all over them. And you're just going, Interesting. It's not interesting.

It's not even interesting. It is because as far as I know, spiders come dry. Well, if it is the Americans giving the Canadians these assignments to do, they gave the Canadians the most Bobo fucking assignment there is, which is just give it to him and we'll make that test.

If you just give it to him and leave him alone for three days, will that fix them? Well, this is my question. Which is worse? Set it and forget it? Or psychic driving, which is what they did in Buffalo and they did the other things where you like,

you keep them up for days with high powered music and then you speed them up with amphetamines and bring them down with fucking barbiturates and then you show them butterflies again and again and again and tell them to be an assassin. I would rather have that. It's something to do. It's something to do, yeah.

But with this digression over, let's return to Carla Hamulka's time in Kingston's Prison for Women. I just thought that was a fascinating digression. It is because it really, because that's where she ended up and now she's kind of in like, I guess it's sort of a friendlier version.

Well, I mean, Kingston's Prison for Women is known as the worst women's prison in Canada. This place is fucking awful and they're purposefully sending Carla Hamulka there. Now, once Carla went into prison to serve her sentence, her mother Dorothy started suffering nervous breakdowns every year between Thanksgiving and Christmas. From reports, these collapses were severe enough

to hospitalize Dorothy Hamulka sometimes for months at a time, most likely because she was haunted by the fact that one of her daughters had killed the other one gray December morn. Yeah, I don't think that Christmas is ever going to be the same for the Hamulka family. No, he's saving a lot of money on gifts, though.

No, technically, it's hospital bills. Yeah, hospital bills. No, not in Canada. In Canada, you can faint for free. Oh, shit, yeah. So they are making money on that. They're making money. Yeah.

Now, Carla didn't stay idle in prison. She began a correspondence course at Kingston through Queens University and like Ted Bundy, she eventually got a bachelor's degree in psychology. Oh, good. But this wasn't really that surprising because Carla did have to fill up her time with something.

In Kingston's prison for women, Carla, who at this point had been proved to fraud by the sex tapes, she was locked in her cell more than 20 hours a day. Because while we didn't get to, as the public, see the videos. I don't want to see the videos. There was enough descriptions of the videos that people knew that she was an enthusiastic co-torture.

Like she was right there, too. Cackling and screaming with a leather fucking mask on, doing all sorts of horrible shit. She was also the one inserting big things into the orifices. She was doing this shit and now she's just out and she's here and they're like, well, we have to now hide you from everybody else who's trying to kill you.

Now, Kingston's prison for women obviously didn't have a stellar reputation and the LSD experiments were the least of it. The facility was said to be cruel, inhumane, and degrading. With the indigenous inmates reporting the most violent treatment by staff. As a result, Kingston's prison for women slowly began shuttling prisoners out of the facility

in anticipation of its closing in the year 2000. Why didn't they throw a big talent show? To keep it open. Oh, I think they wanted to close it because of all the horrible things that happened inside of it. No, you got to keep it open. Throw a talent show, a bake sale. I would love to see Carla's talent.

I will be doing ribbon dancing to the Izzy Asbourne song, No More Tears. It's like surprisingly metal, honestly. I didn't expect it to rock as hard as it did but when she fucking, she swept that red one as he goes, no more tears. I was like, Carla, you got the X-Factor. I think it's an Olympic event.

It is. For Carla, she got, I don't know why I said it is. I don't know if it is or not. I actually might have demoted it for being too stupid. Because who gives a shit about ribbons? This isn't Joey, it's fabrics. This is the Olympics. Break dancing will be in the LA Olympics,

which will be kind of fun. That will be fun, except it's going to ruin this city and I'm going to leave town while it's here. For Carla, she got her transfer in 1997 to a medium security prison in Joliet, Quebec called the Joliet Institution. Yeah, Joliet Jake. No joking.

Yeah, that is where the Blues Brothers went to prison. Yeah. Well, they went to prison in Joliet, Illinois. Illinois, yeah. Which is a real, actual, very real prison. It's just a coincidence that Canada also had a Joliet. Okay. Now, the Joliet Institution came under fire

for making prison far too easy for criminals doing time, but that reputation didn't really make itself known until Carla Homolka was transferred to the facility. Afterward, Canadian colonists thought themselves highly clever in renaming the medium security facility to Club Fed. We've been doing that thing. More like Club Fed. For longer than you've been imprisoning people, Canada.

Yeah. That's an American bit. Well, is it an American bit? Yes. Or did they start it here in Canada? No, I don't know. I actually don't know. Maybe I'm incorrect.

Because the one thing that they do do, they do improv anywhere. Yes, they do. And they can just name it. They're very good at comedy. They are very good at comedy. But I think it comes from, yeah, because even in Goodfellas,

they had the guy fucking slicing the garlic with the razor and doing all the kind of shit where he's cooking. Oh, Club Fed. Yeah, Club Fed, yeah. And really, if I was ever going to do time, I'd want it to be in a place like this. Yeah, fingers crossed. The prison was made up of 10 two-story cottage units

with eight women in each, with a grocery store on the grounds where inmates could spend $4 a day on whatever they wanted. I'll take the condoms. Yeah, you're not going to get a lot with four bucks, but... There were porch swings, a tabby cat wandering the grounds, baseball games, card tournaments, and free reign to walk around the grounds

between dorms if the women so chose. This is the type of place where they make those women prison documentaries I've seen. Oh, I see. Yes, where they have a lot of freedom. I mean, just a lot of leg room, and I think they have... A lot of times they'll have a scissor room, which is really incredible.

I think it's very nice. Arts and crafts, sure. I have no problem with it. In theory, having a good prison where people are treated humanely, it's just tough because Carla Hamulca treated people so horribly. Yeah, she doesn't deserve it.

Other people that are there deserve it, but she doesn't. Yeah. Mothers could even visit their children in an on-site daycare, and Hamulca actually applied for the prison's parenting skills program so she could babysit her fellow inmates' children. Well, I don't know if that's the right idea for her.

This request was denied. What? Why would you deny that? At this point in the story, it could have gone either way. Yeah. Sure, I'm actually happy. They finally were like, No.

No. Life from your grave. Now, Carla's transfer to this facility caused a firestorm of controversy in the Ontario press. But when those same reporters interviewed Quebecois residents what they thought,

and asked them what they thought of Carla Hamulca being held in their province, most of them had never even fucking heard the name Carla Hamulca. What? They were in prison. No, this was people who lived in Quebec. Well, Quebec really downed the prison.

They had no fucking clue. Seriously, e-mail me side stories lpotel.gmail.com about this because it does feel that Quebec quite often than not, they do live in their own world. They're French. They have their own news. They don't really want to be a part of Canada, right?

I don't know if that's true or not. We saw that in our Rockterio series. There were so many times that Rockterio was able to go back and forth because Quebec didn't talk to... Okay, I'm just gonna... Okay, it's Ontario. I know it's Ontario.

No, no, no. But Ontario is fun. We all are having a good time with it. I do love Ontario. But it's harder to do than the purposeful mispronunciation than the real one because then you get caught up and you're like,

what am I saying anymore? Sure. But they were going back and forth between provinces. But yeah, because in Quebec, they speak French, and they don't have English-speaking media, or at least they really didn't back then. You look down on us like a bunch of uneducated dogs.

To be fair, yes. To be mostly spit French. Yes. Yes. But Montreal, live on. Beautiful city. Oh, I love it. I love all of it.

We love Canada. We're just making jokes here. Yeah, we can't wait to see. We'll be in Vancouver very soon. Good plug. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. But you know, Carla Homolka,

because there was this language barrier, she could expect a degree of anonymity in Quebec for a bit, at least until the details of her many crimes trickled their way into the Québécois consciousness. They're like, you're not supposed to do what with the Pépé. No, they're husband and wife.

They pee-pee on each other. You must be married. Well, sure, marriage would be fine. Drink the Pépé. Of course. Do not splurge the Pépé. I think it's everything else they did. Yes.

Yeah. Now, with all the free movement in her new facility, Carla started a sexual affair with a transgender prisoner also housed in Joliet, with the birth name of Linda Verano. So, two male. Female to male, yes. But still, birth female,

therefore, he was sent to a women's prison. Okay. Well, Verano was serving time for a series of armed robberies when he first met Carla Homolka in prison. But once he was released, he re-offended specifically so he could go back into prison to be with Carla.

Have you ever done anything so romantic in your fucking little life? That's a love story right there. You have to be so addicted to her fucking cooch. I think it's more of a lust story than a love story. No way. Because also in prison, I guess you kind of have to figure out a way to consummate it.

And then you kind of have that kind of dalliance back and forth. Like, do we do it in a scissor room? Because you have the scissoring room for it. But then you go to another place where it's just been like, technically, we're supposed to be in the kitchen duty. It's kind of funny. You eat pussy by the soup. Well, from what I've learned from the newest season

of Love After Lock Up from an inmate, a former inmate who had a lesbian affair while she was in prison, what they do a lot of times is they put cloths over the windows and then there's a lookout who yells 12 when an officer is coming and then they have to get dressed real fast. Oh, right. There you go. But what about the lookout?

The lookout's just, I mean, how does it fucking cook into memory out of it? Yeah, I guess, yeah, you get to watch and fucking slap the bean while they're doing it, right? Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. If you want to. Yeah, I mean, you should.

You're a bad lookout. Yeah. You're supposed to be looking out. One eye this way. How long is it going to take you to come in prison? Oh, gosh. You have all day. Well, interestingly, Carla Homulka would write letters to Verano

in the exact same immature, girlish language that she used when she wrote love notes to the psychopathic Paul Bernardo. In fact, Carla's whole life seemed to be an attempt to hold on to childhood. Her prison cell walls were adorned with cartoon character posters. Her letters were festooned with heart snowman and teddy bear stickers. And she even had Mickey Mouse bedsheets on her bunk. This is why I don't trust cute shit.

I don't. At a certain age when you're an adult and you like really cute stuff and you only like cute stuff, I just feel like you're hiding something. It's the problem. It's the insinuation. I know we have a lot of Funko people in our sphere. No, I'm not talking Funko.

You can have a Funko collection. It just can't. Well, no, never mind. You can collect whatever. You know, it's just difficult. You can have a Funko collection. Funko's fine. That's one thing.

I know. I'm just saying if you only listen to, like, kids' music. I mean, that's weird. And you're 35 and you still carry around like a Lisa Frank trapper keeper. Like, that shit's weird. But then again, you can also do that. It's weird.

It's mostly, again, if you have sex with your sister and kill her. That's the thing. That's mostly because I don't want to. Yeah, that's why it's creepy. Yeah, but she really does. I feel like it is an attempt to hold on to childhood. I also think that in the again. Well, I don't know if we even emphasize enough with Paul Bernardo

when we were talking with the last in the last episode. She's empty, right? There is no Carla. There might be more. I think maybe there's more of a Carla than there is a Paul Bernardo. We're like, there is no Paul Bernardo. Paul Bernardo is a homicidal mirror to the world. Like he is.

He is a ghoul and a ghost, right? Carla homoca is kind of the same way where it's like anything that I guess could fill her some like because it's just the empty trappings of what would be a normal childhood bedroom. Like it's not any of the feelings. It's just like you just have all this like kid stuff up because it kind of like makes you feel innocent. Yeah, I guess so. Well, eventually Carla and Verano's relationship soured and Verano spoke to the press probably for a nominal fee. Uh-oh. According to his recollections, Carla liked to be tied up during sex and one of the sexual games they played simulated rape.

It's the only way she could go. Yep. But while the middle of Carla's prison sentence sounded like a soft core romp, the end of her run in prison was a return to the hard bars of a maximum security facility. This one was the St. Anne de Plaine institution. Now this prison had both a men's facility and a women's facility and Carla, ever the horny girl, began a sexual relationship with a convicted murderer named Jean-Paul Gervais who is doing life in the men's unit first strangling his girlfriend. Carla, Carla, don't forget it's the Sadie Hawkins dance on Friday. Yeah. Did you ask him?

Did you ask him? Yeah, I did. Did you? What did he say? He said, what if I could kill you? I was like, you are my prince. Wow. Wow.

Seriously, she got fucked more in jail than some people do throughout all of college. Yep. From reports, Carla and Jean-Paul would leave notes hidden in common areas that male and female inmates use separately at different times a day. Dead drops. Eventually, Gervais... It's a pretty CIA term for what it was. It's true. Eventually, Gervais managed to take a nude photo of himself, which was later found in Carla's cell.

As far as what she gave in return, she was able to leave him under garments, most likely dirty panties. Dirty prison panties. Yeah, sometimes you got to leave those little bread grims. Oh, I love that one with the streaks and everything. Eventually, this flirtation culminated in them stripping for each other at a flimsy fence, which was followed by sexual touching through the links. Carla, put your eyes next to the chain link. I will put my finger through the filts. Oh, you're gonna poke her in the eye?

Yep. Okay. There you go, got your nose. I got your nose. That's nice. Eventually, though, the good times in prison for Carla Hamulca had to come to an end. She must have been cheeky and screaming like that woman from Wolf of Wall Street, not to take her out of the picture, but in this case, she just wanted to stay in prison. When it came time for her release hearing, however, there were differing opinions on what Carla's place in society was gonna be.

Make her prime minister. No. I want to be a professional ice skater. No. I just get whatever I want. I want to be an icing tester to see how delicious icing was chocolate. You can do that. Well, a psychiatrist who'd been working with Carla for years had a sympathetic view, and 18 other psychologists agreed that Carla Hamulca no longer represented a threat to society. As long as she's getting fucked, no one else is gonna die.

I think that's what got her in prison in the first place. But, a forensic psychologist named Dr. Hubert Van Jigsigam said- No, it's not. I don't know. I don't know. That's not your answer. It's definitely- It's definitely- Why do I feel like he's just, like, dressed in a plexiglass suit?

No, it's definitely Dr. Hubert Van Jigsigam. Jigsigam? Maybe it's Gigsigam, but it's either Gigsigam or Gigsigam. Gigsigam. Gigsigam. Gigs- Gigs- Man, I don't know.

I don't know, man. He's from Ontario, so he could be pronouncing it any way. Those are interesting, aren't they? Well, Van Jigsigam said that the threat didn't necessarily lay with Carla per se. Instead, the threat was that Carla would find herself once again in the thrall of another sexual sadist like Paul Bernardo. It doesn't happen that often. It takes two to complete the circuit.

Yeah, what's the Canadian Ted Bundy, but she is the Canadian Ted Bundy's assistant. You know what I mean? Jan Bundy. She is Harley Quinn, right? If this is real, right? She is Harley Quinn. Don't give her Harley Quinn status. Well, now, Harley Quinn has been turned into a hero because Margot Robbie decided to do

her, but she used to be a villain. Used to be. Now, like, she's like this, like, now she is just straight up this thing. She's an antihero. She's an antihero, but now she's just a hero. Now she's just a hashtag girl boss hero. Okay. Yeah.

So, when Van Jigsgem speculated Carla was attracted to sexual psychopaths, a hubristophiliac, as we said in part one, but Van Jigsgem also said that just so long as she stayed away from men like that, she would be of no danger to anyone. And you guys know, I'm certain some of our ladies and people who are single who are over, like maybe the age of 33, right? You know, it's so easy to stay out of those toxic things as soon as you're like, you're in it. Like as soon as you love a bad boy, you're definitely like, well.

I'm done with that. I am definitely not going to date some other man that's bad for me again. No, I don't know. I mean, what does this mean? How are they going to stop her from dating bad men? They're going to check her gender. They're going to set her up. Actually, the next part of this is they're going to do a singles meetup for Carla after

this, where they bring her guys that they know, being like, well, my buddy Dave's single and he's an accountant. He actually, he could actually be great for Carla. And then you throw a little party for her and they get a piñata. That could be kind of nice. It's a lot for her first date. It is. Well, that's the point, man, is they don't know.

They've already made the deal. Carla's getting out of prison. There's nothing to be done. But that being said, most Ontarians or Ontarians, I think Ontarians, most Ontarians still agreed that Carla Hamoka had pulled a fast one on the prosecution when she made her immunity deal because that deal was made before the tapes, featuring her participating in the crimes with Paul, before those were ever seen. Now you got us on this one, but you'll fool us twice.

Shame on us. But this time, oh, well, you get out of here. She pulled a really slow one. Yes. It was very slow. Yeah, it was pretty slow. Pretty simple. Therefore, the state was going to make sure that Carla did as much time as possible.

And she was denied parole two thirds of the way into her sentence because the National Parole Board ruled that she was still at risk to commit another violent crime. But it's also not like she'd been a model prisoner. She'd taken great pains to start a sexual relationship with another murderer who had abused a woman to death while she was still in prison, which is exactly what people like Dr. Van Jigs again feared. That is literally she. Jigs again?

You got us again. Because we were just joking about it. Now that you say it in the sentence, that is completely true. She sought out another man who killed women. She has a type. She has a type. She wanted it. She was excited for it.

Way too excited for it, way too excited. When it finally came time for her to be set free, though, the looming question was where Carla Hamulca would settle. Her parents did help support her, but they still had a rocky relationship due to the whole killing their daughter thing. I don't even know how they continued to have a relationship. But I know that Lori Hamulca, she did give this whole speech to Carla about how like it's easy to con people, Carla.

All you need to know is change your name and dye your hair. And no one will care that it's you. People are idiots, Carla. Like it is this crazy phone call. Geez. Okay. Maybe it's. They're into it.

They're fine with it. They're like, well, we'll just make another daughter. Who didn't fall too far from the tree, perhaps. Well, really no one wanted Carla. When there was just a rumor that Carla was planning to settle in Alberta after her release, the citizens revolted and cops had to spend days fielding calls from concerned Albertans. Now, there were speculations that Carla might sneak over here to the United States using an illegal identity, then spend the rest of her life living under a pseudonym,

presumably in Las Vegas or Florida, where being a murderer doesn't really cramp one social life that much. I would recommend Florida. Both of them. Well, Vegas has a lot of cameras. There's a lot of people around. Vegas is actually pretty well monitored. Florida, I'm thinking Gainesville.

Maybe you probably could have had a good time. You moved to the other harbor of women of ill repute, Fort Lauderdale, which I do love. I love Fort Lauderdale. It's got a good spirit. But it's also, it's got such an open spirit that it kind of comes all the way back around where we give free shots to people who kill their children. It's a little too classy. I think Fort Lauderdale is a little too classy for Carla.

It's where my parents are. Oh. Isn't it also where the porthole is, where they have the boiled water hot dogs at the strip club? Absolutely. And since COVID, they got tongs. Yeah, that was nice. No, I'm pretty sure the boiled hot dogs was just a thing, and now it's gone.

Because of COVID, they're like, well, that's unsanitary. Nowadays, now we're just giving out fucking. You're just, we're cutting down the ice lood shots. It was there for football Sunday. But in the end, Carla did what everyone expected her to do. Being fluent in both English and French, Carla settled in Quebec, mostly because her face was not as well known in Quebec as it was in English-speaking Canada. But that's not to say Carla didn't have restrictions.

After a two-day hearing, a judge ruled in 2005, a month before Carla's release, that she still posed a risk to the public at large. So he put on some restrictions. Number one, you can only have three orgasms a day. A day. A day. A day. Police had to know her home address, her work address, the names of her roommates, any

changes to her own name, and any plan she had to be away from her home for more than 48 hours. And that notice had to come 72 hours before she left the home. Okay. This does sound like a lot of work you're expecting the government to do in a timely fashion, which I don't think is possible or credible. But it's fine. Not given the history here.

She couldn't contact Paul Bernardo, and she couldn't contact the families of Leslie Mahaffey or Kristen French. Oh, thank God. You imagined that. Obviously, we bring a little levity to it. But the families of these victims following all of this shit must have been fucking nauseous. Oh, yeah. They still follow it to this day.

I mean, Paul Bernardo was just denied parole, and the families had to go and give victim impact statements to make sure he didn't get out. And also, this year was the 30th anniversary of the Leslie Mahaffey murder. Can't they just play the tapes again? It's double fucking. It's double tragedy. It's a lot of it. But Paul Bernardo, it's his whole thing is he keep going like, yeah, I did hurt people

in the past, but let's think about the rep. Like he really is like, he keeps on this idea of being like, that's the past. Why do people keep talking to me about the past? It's like, I'm a guy now. I'm some other guy. I'm Paul Jason Teal now. Yep. Carla also couldn't be with anyone under the age of 16.

She couldn't do any drug besides prescription medicine. She had to continue therapy, and she had to provide police with a DNA sample. If any of these orders were violated, Carla was required to serve a maximum two year sentence. But Carla Hamulca never violated any of her conditions. She's never again broken the law to the knowledge of the general public, and she has never returned to prison. Upon her release in 2005, Carla relocated to the South Shore community of Lingale in Quebec.

The next year, she attempted to change her name to Emily Chiara Tremblay, because Tremblay is the Quebecois equivalent of Smith. But of course, her request was denied. Okay, so very common. She just wants to blend in. Yeah, you want to do a common name. Yeah, because Carla Hamulca. Hamulca.

That is a very distinct name. Yeah. But also remember by this point, her name was legally Carla Teal. Yeah, that's right. Okay. But even then, everyone still knew that shit as well. I got to say though, to be honest, if we were kids, right? Let's imagine us rag-tag group of boys.

Hey, I'm a baby. I'm a baby. I'm not a baby kid. Give me that milk. No, not milk. Give me that milk. Give me that milk. No, go advance a little bit.

I'm a man. You're a teenager. Oh, yes. It would be kind of crazy being like, Carla moved in next door, bro. Yeah. And then you would have to do like, stakeouts and stuff like that. Oh, yeah. We would send a buzzer on middle school.

I would set a fire on a bag of shit every weekend in front of our house. You could. It'd be fun. It'd be like the burbs. It'd be amazing. We did that one time with the poop and the fire. But the guy just looked at it through the window. Yeah, because he knew what it was.

Yeah, and he waited for it to go down, but then he did have to clean it up. So jokes on you homeowner who didn't do anything wrong. Within a year of Carla's attempted name change, she gave birth to her first child under the name of Leanne Teal with her lawyer's brother. Oh my God. Do you remember? The fucking kid. Right before he turned, right before Paul Bernardo turned his full sore night on her, she was

playing with the idea of pulling the goalie and not taking her birth control anymore so that she could make Paul give her a baby because that's what she wanted real bad. Oh, thank God. She should not have a baby. She thought, could you imagine that? That would have ended up like the lost profits. Or the prime minister of Canada. You know what I mean?

Like that fucking psychopath would just go all the way to the top. I'm just saying they would do something horrible to that baby. Well, what Paul told her is that if she had a baby, it would have to be a girl because then Paul could turn the girl into a sex slave. And if it was a boy, then Paul was going to make her abort it. Yeah, he was going to kill her. Oh my fucking. Okay.

You guys, I feel like we didn't keep straight. Like Paul Bernardo, he's not a nice guy. No. I think it's pretty well baked into the. Yeah. He was just a total roving psychopath. And we're just very lucky that he was so bad at being a psychopath as well. It's the combination of the two was that besides the laziness of the Canadian police,

I really don't think that he would have operated for very long because of how bad he was at doing it as well. Well, we could hope. Yeah. Well, reportedly when Carla gave birth, nurses working at the hospital cared for the baby but refused to give any care to Carla Hamulka. Now, having a kid seems to have gone against one of the conditions of her release because he remembers she's not allowed to be around anyone under the age of 16.

Yeah. But what did they make him? But you made him. Oh shit. She got her, she found herself a loophole. She did. Yeah. But that condition was thrown away on November 30th, 2005, just a few months after it was

put into place. So Carla ended up marrying her lawyer's brother, right? Sure. What a fantastic wedding that must have been. Every lawyer has to have her brother. Yeah. And every lawyer has to have a brother that's very similar in my mind to a Roger Clinton. Earl.

Like, Earl, I just got to sit you down here, Earl. Now, can you stop fucking my worst clients? I don't understand. Because this is the third one you fucked and they're not for you. But you protect me in court. And so what I need you, honestly, is to also protect me in love. Stick my heart, brother. Fine, Earl.

Fuck all of my clients. Hell yeah. Yeah! Well, when Carla got out of prison, she had a very specific idea of what type of husband she wanted. In a 1998 prison evaluation, she outlined what type of husband she wanted to find after her release. She starts with a P. His last name starts with a Narno.

She said that she wanted to meet a man who was educated, loyal, wants children, and, quote, believes in the moral values of marriage. He had to love his mother, he had to love pets, he couldn't have a criminal background, and he would be, if possible, attractive. Okay. So, I mean, that's actually nice that she didn't go with, like, serial killer, flat sexual predator. Well, she couldn't say it in court.

She couldn't say it in court. She couldn't say, like, I want a man that will fucking fuck me till I'm almost dead. Like, she couldn't say that in court. No, no, it's hard. You save that for Twitter, on TikTok. I want him to slay my pussy, I want him to rip up my fucking pussy and punch my face in. I don't know.

But I mean positive. Well, soon after giving birth, Carla left Canada for the Caribbean to escape notoriety. Oh. Hey, man, on to Rio. You gotta take me down south. Yeah, go to the Caribbean. Why not? Yeah, go to the Caribbean.

Why not? Reportedly, she wanted her one-year-old son to lead a more normal life, and she temporarily relocated to Antilles, where it's rumored she worked as a teacher. Oh. Before long, Carla returned to Quebec, had two more kids, and resurfaced in the news in 2016, when she was 45 years old. See, Carla had tried restarting her life, and she was living in a Quebecois town called Chateau Gual, where her children attended Centennial Park Elementary School.

And of course, once the press blew Carla's cover, concerned parents whose children also went to Centennial Park responded, with one saying, quote, I'd like parents to step up and make a stink. Make a stink. I want all of you, the biggest fattest dads, and the biggest fattest moms, to stand in front of that elementary school and fart until everybody's out of there. Smoke them out. Yeah, smoke them out, fart them out, fumigate them out.

Yeah, I could see parents being like, whoa, what now? What now? I also, you know, the kids didn't deserve, the kids don't, you never know who's gonna birth you. I mean, yeah, I mean, all the parents who talked to the press made sure to say they felt bad for the kids, but the general consensus was fuck them, because nobody wanted Carla Homolka anywhere around their kids, even if it meant ruining the lives of Carla's kids. Yep.

No one has to be born. No, I'm surprised they weren't given up for adoption, to be honest. No, she wanted total control. She, Carla Homolka though, wanted to win. Like I really do feel like in the end she wants to see, because that's where the one thing about, this might be controversial to say, the one thing about a women's psychological game sometimes, is that it comes down to, I'll show you just how good of a citizen I can be, and how you can't fuck with me afterwards, and she's like, look, I can see

you with her playing the long game and like try to fuck with me now, now that I'm a, I'm a mother. Uh huh. Yeah, of course. So she's being a good citizen, just to spike the Canadian. As revenge. Yes. Well, that's the best kind of revenge.

It is. So the only way she wanted upset parents at Centennial Park Elementary School the most, was that Carla had been supervising field trips, and she once brought her dog into the classroom to interact with the other children. All right, now bark at its pussy. Bark at the kids pussy. I don't know Carla, bring your mom to work day, or bring your mom to school day is really backfired on us.

Yeah, really. You know, all I'm going to say is just thank Christ, Carla, and fucking Paul never brought their dog buddy into the whole thing. Oh my God. Oh my God. Hey, there's president for the fucking toolbox killer. There's president. Don't fuck anyone.

Hey. What bad is your life when you're like, I didn't have my dog fuck anyone, and I want people to understand that I didn't do that. I'm just saying I'm happy that the dog was left out of it. Yeah, because you know who I think about? I agree. I'm happy a cat was fucking left out of it. I'm happy that all animals were left out of it.

Because you know who makes me think about is fucking Dennis Nielsen's fucking dog, Bleat, who did nothing. Yeah. Who did nothing. Life from your grave. Now Carla has since resettled in another town near Montreal, but she's once again been doxxed. She got doxxed earlier this year.

From what a court ruled, she is a public figure and she therefore has no expectation of privacy. That means that no matter what, Carla will be doxxed everywhere she goes for the rest of her life. And so it's likely that Carla Hamulca will never know peace as long as she stays in Canada. Because while she may have fooled the prosecution in the early 90s, it seems like no one in Canada is ever going to forget what Carla Hamulca did. She traumatized a nation during a very specific time, but they all learned everything that

came out in that court from what I'm gotten honestly, from readers, from listeners emails that have sent us stuff, like talking about this. Dude, if I was one of those jurors, I wouldn't be the same. I feel horrible for the jurors on my trial. Honestly, she is distinctive. She's distinctive looking. Yeah. Right, she's got very big eyes.

She looks like Carla Hamulca. So I think she's easy to pick out in a crowd too. Very much so. Now she looks just like Tracy from Love After Lockup, R.I.P. So well. Oh, she died, huh? Yeah, she did. Yeah.

Yeah. Recently. Great. Good. Sad. I don't know how to react. No, that's fine. No, you're fine.

You didn't know who this person, you don't know who this person makes me sad. You don't know who this person makes me sad. They were the best. Clint and Tracy, they were the best couple. Easily. How did she die? Well, it doesn't have to bleed for every single person who dies. Yes, that's true.

What happened? She just died. It was a drug overdose. She had a kid. Drug overdose. She put it up for adoption and then she had a drug. Presumably a drug overdose that hasn't been, the cause of death has not been released. Not too much love though.

Not too much love after lockup. No, no, no, no. Here in America, when we release infamous murderers from prison, it seems like they can live a pretty solid life just so long as they live it in Florida. All right. If you're released, I just need you to go out there and make enough content so we can make a television show. All right.

Thank you. You get out there, right? Don't you kill anybody else. All right. Now, the two of you know more about our next subject because both of you follow her escapades on side stories quite a bit. But from my reading, seems like Casey Anthony has been doing just fine since her acquittal. She is living life.

She is fine. She's living life. She has celebrated RPGs passing. RPG. RPG. She absolutely was sad about that. And then she is basically one of the real housewives of Fort Lauderdale. It is extremely interesting, although I can't say that her life is glorious.

Are you? Oh. I don't know. I don't think she's doing that. She is. She could get a table at Flanagan's whenever she wants. Her friends actually work in a place called Flanagan's. Yes.

Yeah. When she needed a refresher, Casey Anthony definitely killed her two-year-old daughter Kaylee back in 2008, but was acquitted of the crime because the investigators weren't tech savvy and jurors sometimes think they're far smarter than they really are. Shots taken. Wow. Firefoss. Well, the jurors in this case were fucking morons.

And the investigators, I'm not really going to blame them too much. It's just, you know, it was one of those weird times. You don't know that there's more than one internet browser on a computer. Yes. There's not just internet explorer. There's also Firefox. There is. Now 35 years old, Casey Anthony is reportedly working on a detailed and definitive account

of her life and the tragedy of losing her daughter Kaylee and everything that followed. As of March 2020, she had three chapters written and ready to go. It's hard to write a book, though, isn't it, Marcus? It is extremely hard. Is she self-publishing? No word on who is publishing it, probably self-publishing. I'm imagining it's not going to come out. I don't think it's going to come out.

I've heard several proposed projects from her. I know that she was supposed to do the penthouse spread. That was supposed to happen. 500 grand. Yeah, but that did materialize. I think it was. Wasn't it hustler? It wasn't penthouse.

It was one of those. It might be hustler, but then also the only fans that has been rumored, I still have not yet seen. No. No, there's really not. I wonder if she would be a lot of the only fans or if they kicked her off of there. That's a free place. It's free.

Well, today, tabloids run the same sorts of stories on Casey Anthony that they'd run on a reality TV star. In May of this year, she got into a bar fight at an Irish pub called O'Shea's in West Palm Beach with a girl named Thelma Moya over a guy. You don't fuck with Thelma's guy. Oh, you're going to fuck with Thelma's guy? Thelma's guy. You do not fuck with a Thelma's guy.

You actually, you're lessening the importance of this fight. Casey Anthony went as far as to call Thelma her arch-nemesis. Yes. At O'Shea's. At O'Shea's. Yes. Well, apparently the whole, and O'Shea's is also, that's Casey Anthony's regular bar. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You can see Casey Anthony at O'Shea's anytime. If you own that bar, you're just like, she just started showing up. She sits in the booth. We don't know what to do. They listen to emails like that from people that are on the scene and around the area. They all say the same thing. She pays good money.

We might say that some people in Florida might have sort of an intention-hungry mindset. I think there's a... Do they go and talk to her? Well, I think the owners like the fact that like, yeah, I own the bar that Casey Anthony drinks. Oh, it's like a thing. It's notoriety. It's notoriety thing.

They like being anti-everyone, right? Which has come out that that's a more stronger flavor, a national flavor that we've seen over the last five years, where they like to make sure everybody knows that they're going to tell you to go fuck themselves. So they do stuff like, yeah, Casey Anthony's safe here to drink. Well, I think the only place she should be allowed to drink is Dick's last resort. She gets it. So she gets it.

Talk about her pussy stinks. So like, her baby, quote, unquote, died and put in quotation marks. She gets it just as hard as she takes it. I'll tell you that much. Well, apparently... She needs to get a roast. Well, she needs... She needs to get a roast.

She needs... Oh, my God. You fucking say that out loud again. Casey Anthony, No. J. Simpson are next on the roast list for sure. Well, apparently Casey Anthony and Thelma Moya had dated the same man at the same time. And these two West Palm Beach beauties had a long standing feud even outside of this mysterious man who had the nerve to date Casey Anthony.

They know he won't be a father. The whole thing started when Thelma spilled a drink on Casey's leg. Oh, no one actually spills the drink on accident. Yeah. Before they knew it, drinks were being thrown in faces and the cops were called. No charges were filed, but Casey did threaten a restraining order. And that is a far fucking cry from Carla Homulka being chased from town to town. This was reported in TMZ.

Oh, yeah, dog. And then I actually went to, yeah, this is the probably first and last podcast history. I went to TikTok and looked at fucking Casey Anthony information. Is she on there? No, no, no. It's a very fun story that someone had posted that was, I forget, the user that had worked at the. O'Shea's.

Not at O'Shea's. When she worked for the theme park, when she worked for Universal, she worked for the same company, right, that works with Universal. And she sat at Casey Anthony's desk that she used to work at and she opened up one of the drawers to find a picture of a pregnant Casey Anthony. That was from when she was met, she was pregnant with Kaylee. And apparently the word around that office was that Casey Anthony was a pathological liar.

Like the bit that they said was that she could have a hamburger for lunch and she'd still say I had a salad for lunch. It's like that type of. Right, lying about things that you're like, why are you lying about? When she was pregnant, she called it a cyst. She said that she had some cysts growing in her. And then finally she's like, well, wouldn't you know what, I'm pregnant. And they're all like, yeah, because if you had a cyst inside of you, you'd be that was

that size and growing larger. You're either growing a twin, like it's like it's squado, it's squado fucking total recall or it's fucking, you are going to die soon. It would be it would be constant extreme excruciating pain. Yes. We'll say Casey Anthony in this one situation. She is not as bad as Carla Hamulka. Yeah.

Yeah. I was actually worse. I mean, yes. I do agree. I do. If you were going to work on it. Carla is worse. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Now around the same time that Casey decided she was going to tell her side of the story, she also launched a private investigation firm in Florida to help those facing serious legal charges because as a source put it, Casey knows what it's like to be accused of doing something she didn't do. Yeah. Yeah.

She does. But yeah. Yeah. She applied for that in December, 2020. Okay. Named case research and consulting services and it took me a little bit to get the pun there because it's named case because her name's Casey. And it's case.

And also, case is something a private investigator works on. It took you a while to get that pun. You're in a New York Times best-selling author. C.R.C.S. Yeah. It's fine. He can't know everything. Yeah.

Yeah. He's working it out. I'm not as smart as people think I am. I don't know how many times I have to say this. Yeah. Okay. They don't know. Well, the firm.

He works hard. He does. That's the point. I'm not that smart. I just work really fucking hard. That's what you got to do when you're not that smart. At ALPN, we talk about this about how talent, we have none of it. No.

It's all work. Yes. Well, the firm would never have actually had Casey Anthony as a private investigator herself because Florida law disqualifies felons from holding a P.I. License. Is she a felon? Yes. She could face 13 charges of felony check fraud before prosecutors could even get to

the murder charge. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So she's a felonious checkwriter. That's the biggest crime of all in America. I guess. Especially in Florida. You imagine looking out your window and just seeing Casey Anthony eating a taco in the

car. She'd be like, it's fucking Casey Anthony's fight. In Florida, yes. What is happening? Again, in Florida, it's a special atmosphere. I guess. But still, Casey could be the face of case research and consulting services. And she could also do surveillance on people and Facebook searches and shit like that.

Just not the P.I. stuff. She's like the mermaid at the head of the ship of case research and consulting services. Yeah. Apparently, Casey has spent the last few years learning the ropes of private investigation from Patrick McKenna, a 72-year-old private dick the Casey's been living with for a while in West Palm Beach. Living with Cuckoo? At some point, Casey, you will find that it's boring.

And at that point, you're going to want to jerk off. Shut up. No. Shut up. This is part of the training. I'm not doing anything. I'm not doing anything. This is part of the training.

You're paying me to come here. Shut up. You'll find out when you get bored out. I don't know why I'm talking like that. It's in Florida. I tell you what. I don't. I tell you what.

That's fucking suck your dick so I could live here another month. You old man, old cum. Why don't you live here for another five years? Okay. All right. Now, interestingly, Patrick McKenna is also the guy who unearthed the infamous tape of Mark Ferman saying the N-word a whole bunch and admitting to all sorts of police malfeasance during a conversation with an aspiring screenwriter.

That wouldn't have come to light if it wasn't for Patrick McKenna. Never say secrets to somebody who's desperately trying to write a script because we're on deadline right now and I feel the pressure of just being like, what did you say? Yeah, yeah. Ferman probably wasn't happy with that in hindsight. No. Yeah. You remember this woman when she gave those tapes, when she fucking sold those tapes,

she didn't sell the tapes for money. She sold the tapes and exchanged people looking at her screenplay. That's all she wanted. Oh my God. That's great. That's right. But this tape- That's what she did?

Yeah. That's what got fucking OJ off? Yes, this tape sunk the conviction of OJ Simpson for the murders of Ron Goldman and his ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson, and that brings us to Florida's next famous felon. Oh, where is he? Where's the real murderer? Yeah, who is he? Where's the real murderer?

Also, it is important to know, and that woman went on to create the white lotus, and it's really incredible what kind of premiere television can be made for people. That's not true. I have no clue who that woman is. I was watching some college football, and there was this dude, it was near USC, and there was a guy in the college in the OJ Simpson USC jersey. Yeah. And I didn't know how to feel about it.

I was kind of like, you know what? I don't know. I don't know, man. Like, I understand it was very complicated. It's very good at USC. Yes. I'm going to give you an opportunity to talk to football here in a minute, but you're going to have to wait for it.

Okay. Now really, what can we say about OJ Simpson that hasn't already been said? Currently- I love him. Wow. What a guy. Yeah, the only thing that's ever been said. Didn't do it.

What a nice man. Wow. Currently, OJ lives in St. Petersburg, Florida, where Henry got married. Yes, indeed. And we'll be back there next year, and it is very possible we see him. Yeah. And from what I can tell from OJ's Twitter, he spends most of his time playing golf. Hello, Twitter world.

He loves golf. Yeah. Hello, Twitter world. OJ was released from prison four years ago, on October 1st, 2017, after he served nine years for trying to steal back some of his own sports memorabilia in a hotel room in Las Vegas. Yeah, actually, funny enough, I feel like it was longer ago. No.

Four years. Four years. Yeah, you thought it was shorter? I thought it was shorter. Yeah, and of course, that sports memorabilia was some of the stuff he had lost to the Goldman family after the Goldman family successfully filed a civil suit against OJ Simpson for the wrongful death of their son. Yeah.

Now, between OJ's erroneous acquittal in 1995 and his misadventure at the Palace Station Hotel in 2007, OJ was a pariah pretty much everywhere in America except for Florida and Las Vegas. During his darkest times, OJ starred, and I got to mention it again, in the oft-mentioned hidden camera prank show, Juiced, which, if you have never seen it, the reason why I keep mentioning it is because I want everybody to see Juiced. It still stands as one of the most bizarre true crime artifacts in American history. I have never done meth.

Therefore, I've never had the meth hangover, but it feels like it. When you watch that, I would imagine that's what it feels like. Your skin feels like it's kind of crawling and you just feel dirty. It's exploitation at its peak because it's not amusing. It's not entertaining. Wasn't the director from Bumfights? It's yes. Wasn't that back then?

I believe so, maybe. OJ Simpson is visibly intoxicated throughout the entire thing, and it's just, it hangs together like watching an hour-long car crash. Oh, it's so weird. Yeah, there's a segment where he tries to sell the Bronco that he made you escape in. That's right. It's just not funny either. No, it's not funny at all.

No, it's not funny at all. How could it have been? But, oh wait, hold on a second. Okay, Mr. Film TV Critic. What did you say? That's your complaint? Yes. What would have been funny?

Well, I mean, okay, so I'll give an example of how bad Juiced is and how truly disturbing it is. Is that we had at one point, during one of our live show iterations, we had a segment on OJ Simpson being an MK Ultra agent, and so I wanted to show a segment, a small segment of Juiced to just kind of show the audience this is what OJ did after the twiddle. I watched Juiced like four times trying to find like a five to 10, maybe even a 15 second segment of like this is what Juiced is all about. This is a funny bit, and the clip that I finally chose, it was the best one that I could find

it was I have never seen a live show sink so fast. I think that was one of our first shows in Seattle. Yeah, it bopped. No, no, it was after Seattle. The one that I remember the most was St. Louis at the BB ad, I think it was at that St. Louis show. Chuck Berry's Place. Oh, yes, that's right.

Chuck Berry's Place. Yeah, great show except for that like it was the biggest sag moment because it just makes people uncomfortable. It's just weird. It makes very people very uncomfortable because it's like three years after his acquittal, maybe four. And everyone knows in there, like, holy shit, this man is not only a murderer, but he's like making light of being a murderer.

And it's just not clicking. No, there was something wrong with that. Well, today, OJ Simpson seems to be brute force in his way back into everyday life as if public opinion is a defensive line that OJ can eventually break through. It does feel like that, I just realized that, yeah, it does feel like a guy searching for openings. Yeah, a couple of big wins, though, this year with Jeffrey Tubin. Oh, God, because Jeffrey Tubin thing, Tubin wrote the book on OJ and OJ has always hated

him. Yeah. And so when Tubin got caught jerking off, technically, OJ Simpson wanted that. God has revenged that day. Just that one day. Just this last Sunday on Halloween 2021, OJ flew up to Buffalo to attend a Bills game, perhaps trying to return to his glory days on the football field. Was he in the stadium?

Readers him on Twitter speaking from his suite about the Buffalo Bills past, present, and future. Holy shit, I didn't know this. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah, let's fucking get into it. Hey, Twitter world, it's me, yours, Charlie. Uh-huh.

At one of my favorite places, we call it Rich Stadium back then. Hard to believe that it was like 48 years ago that we opened this stadium, was my fifth year in the league. Um, and it was a year that I gained 2,000 yards and 14 games, and as a team, we went over 3,000 yards, which was an NFL record, and I gotta add, it was only in 14 games back then. Well, they're playing the Miami Dolphins, my Bills, and when I was in Buffalo, my rookie year we beat the Dolphins, but we never beat them again.

What? Eight years, playing them twice a year, we never won, but guess what? My Bills go kicking their butts today. Oh, Jay, that got scary. Back then, the first year in this stadium, I had three rookies on offense, Joe Ferguson, the quarterback, Joe DeLamalore, and Tyler Hall of Famer. He's wearing his world, his fucking championship ring, too. We called it off the line, playing tight in it.

I went for 2,000 yards, and the team went for, as I said, over 3,000 yards, and we had a winning record for the first time in my years at Buffalo, and we won nine games. Wow, in a 14-game season. Yeah. Now they're throwing my bill in the new stadium, that tells me I'm getting really old, but today I'm here to watch my Buffalo Bills kick some blood. Whoa, okay. I'm just saying, take care, and good luck with your fantasy today.

Well, thank you so much, OJ. Jesus fucking Christ. We definitely know that he's me. For a man who's got the double murder, he really has a good memory. He's a really good memory. He just sees every detail of his entire life, except he's like, I don't really think a lot about that day. Don't think about that day.

Seriously? I just don't think about that day. It would have just been so much easier for you not to commit double murder, you know? I'm just thinking about relaxing a little bit. Dude, OJ might actually push through. As soon as people in the stadium recognized OJ Simpson, they swarmed him with the loving embrace of a fandom welcoming back the greatest gridiron hero they ever had. So it's just a couple of penalty flags in life.

Hey, yeah, he did it. Back on track. Okay. America loves famous people. And it does get to a point. I was talking about this with Natalie this morning. In some level, human beings just view fame as this equalizing thing, where eventually you just kind of become famous, capital F famous.

And whatever it is that you were famous for, that starts to fade into the background. And you slowly just become a part of one of the TV people that you stare at every day and you're like, that's a TV person, I'm a vote for them for president. Well, I'll never forget when we were walking on the street of Comic-Con, people were just standing outside this door and were like, who are you waiting for? And they're just like, a celebrity. Anybody. Yeah.

And you're like, that's the saddest thing I've ever heard. But like, why is Joshua Gabor famous? No idea. No clue. But she just was. And it's like, I guess the same thing with like a Paris Hilton. Joshua Gabor was just like, she was famous. I understand.

I actually prefer famous for being famous. Yeah. Versus this. Famous for being a double murderer? Yes. Yeah. So while Canada certainly doesn't forgive and forget infamous murderers, America seems a little more likely to welcome them back into society, providing, of course, that they're

either a celebrity or pretty. Pretty. It helps. Pretty also helps. Big tips. Pretty also works. Yeah. Big tips and pretty.

That's also acceptable. It is. But that's really the only two that we'll forgive anybody for. And also being. Absolutely. Yeah. That's pretty much it. And let's not forget, OJ Simpson was a very well loved celebrity before all of this.

He was. But that quickly fades if you do want to get a little serious. Get into the tapes of Nicole Brown Simpson calling the cops. You should. So fucking maniac. You remember. Remember. And he is a.

Listen to our series. An under threat. Yeah. Listen. He decapitated that man. She nearly decapitated her. He is. He was an absolute beast.

Seriously. Watch the people versus OJ Simpson. It's fantastic. Sadly enough. One of the best documentaries ever made. She loved it. And it's one of the best documentaries of the last 10 years. He loved it.

That's the only thing that sucked. Did the only. Why though? It shows that he was a fucking hypocrite and he sold out his all of his people. I think he's like a sociopath. Oh yeah. But he the only complaint he had was the cuba cuba junior's head was too small. That was the people versus OJ Simpson.

That's the show. I'm talking about the documentary. Oh you're talking. Okay. Yes. He loved the show. He just didn't. Because he has a huge fucking head.

Yeah. Yeah. No. Yeah. The people versus OJ Simpson is the show. The documentary is. OJ Simpson's. OJ made in America I think.

Made in America. That is amazing. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. OJ Simpson made in America. That 30 for 30 I believe is fantastic.

All right. Well there you go. Where are they now? It's here in your backyard. It should be prison. They're in your backyard. We want to say we are hitting the road. We're going to be in North Carolina.

We're going to be in South Carolina. Can't wait. We're going to be in Boise. Going to be in Portland soon December by those live tickets. Yes. We're going to see your fucking asses. Yes. We can't wait.

I promise you. No OJ Simpson footage in the show. No. Not this one. I don't know. Do we have something that we would like to go out on? Mothman coffee. Get the coffee.

Spring Hill Jack coffee. You'll get that fucking shit. It's fun. Don't forget this week. Soul Plumber number two is out in stores. If your local comic book store ordered enough copies. So please go out there and get that. And I know it's a good problem, but a lot of the copies are already sold out.

So hopefully go now and be aware that you got to grab the copies. Go now. Don't wait. Go now. And speaking of where are they now? There's one man, one young man that we've discovered this new artist. And dare I say to shoehorn another plug for our weed. If you have weed from us, smoke it now.

Spark it. Because this guy, he might have, he, you know, he went for the king and he missed. Yeah. Right. And he ended up going. He did. And Ronald Reagan was a lot more hurt. He was a couple other guys.

He hit three guys. Yeah. Yeah. Ronald Reagan was much more hurt than they had said as well. Absolutely. But we're about to listen to, this is a cut from John Hingley Jr. Who's out? He's loose.

He's out. And he's out and about. And if you want to hear more about John Hingley Jr. and his interaction with the music world, listen to the next episode of New Arrivals and the No Dugs and Space Patreon where we talk about John Hingley Jr.'s current battle with Divo. Yep. Hey, someone's got to fight him. Here comes John Hingley Jr. with his original Don't Give Up on Innocence.

He's trying to get in the music. He's free. Hey, man. It's got 46, 466 upvotes and only 47 down. And when it comes to who we talked about today, Hingley is the least scary. Server. Yeah. He was mentally ill.

He's got a lot of drugs. Yes. He is very sedated. All right, everyone. Take care of yourselves out there and Don't Give Up on Innocence. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. No gain.

Hey, don't hate it. No, it's just, it's a coffee shop. If we were in Buffalo and he just started playing this at a bar, I could see you tapping your foot. I could tap on your foot, yeah. Anybody can relate to this song. I too tried to kill the president. This show is made possible by listeners like you.

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