Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Back to School

Episode Date: July 4, 2024

Henry & Eddie bring you this week’s weirdest stories and true crime news as the Karen Read Trial concludes in a mistrial, Henry reacts to Season 2 of Worst Roommate Ever, a Florida man sneezes out his intestines during breakfast, Slapping healer facing charges after multiple deaths, 32-year-old social worker accused of posing as 13-year-old orphan after ‘tricking’ couple into fostering her, Listener Emails, and more…

Hi, did you know that you can watch last podcast on the left and side stories on our patreon right now? Yes, that's patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. But over on TikTok, you can see the hottest, tightest, funniest clips from the show right there. It's TikTok. TikTok. It's at LP on the left.

It's the same as our Instagram. You already follow the Instagram. Why don't you go follow TikTok? But it's on TikTok. Yeah, because... Seal is...believing. Yep. So just go check it out. Watch it. Go send our podcast to China. I love TikTok the Crocodile. It's my favorite TikTok. That's the only one he knows. I love TikTok the crocodile. It's my favorite. It's the only one he knows There's no place to escape to this is the last on the left side stories That's when the cannibalism started side stories, yes It's time to do it. Time to perform, Eddie.

Yeah. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Okay. There's no one else to tell me. Oh, I guess Rob could tell me something. Yes, he could. Is it Rob? Is it time to perform?

It's time. We're supposed to. Time has come. Now, Eddie, I have the question. Fuck you. Extremely angry. Very much at the top. supposed to time has come now Eddie I have the question you Very much at the top Eddie Can I just ask you this and you have to tell me if this is true? This is like the police. Okay, where you gotta tell me as

Bug code all right under bud code full honesty this is a friend or wheat No friend. Okay, cuz weed code there's's very little there. All right, because you forget the rules. I Just want to know for truth's sake. Yeah, have you Been faking being my friend for the last 22 years to eventually steal Natalie my home Kill me and take everything that I have. I mean, not everything. Okay, see, at least I got that far, because that's huge. And it's important to do. I've been watching Worst Roommates Ever.

What was the giveaway? I'm just saying, because it's just you're there. Yeah. And you're hanging out and you're always looking at my stuff. You're always trying on my clothes. Yeah, you'd be surprised how much of your stuff I've sold on eBay And it's just a really weird you keep trying to put your hands around Natalie's hips to see the the space displacement for yourself Well, it's more of just to see you know, how many children she can have Wow

That's how you could tell by just feeling the just feeling their hips. Yeah. Wow people must love you everywhere Yeah, I'll welcome to side, people must love you everywhere. Yeah. Welcome to Side Stories. This is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. And I watched- God, I found out. The entire season two of Worst Roommates Ever in one go. And it has-

Oh, you watched all of it. I watched all of it. It has shattered me. I forgot because season one of Worst Roommates Ever, it's on Netflix, it is fucked. That first season is basically just about how, essentially, squatters can pretty much do whatever they want as soon as they're in your house. It's extremely difficult to get them out. We dealt with that. We did. And it is

extremely harrowing. And sometimes the someone who would do something like that turns out to be a psychopath. But in season two, the roommates get worse and the people that have the roommates are also worse at defending themselves from the roommates. Cause the key is one thing I learned about worst roommates ever, you know what the main thing is? Don't be a roommate anymore. Get the hell out of there. Yeah. Get out, leave. Doesn't matter. Leave all your shit. None of your shit matters. But one thing season one, season, episode one, season two of worst roommates ever. This story, this, this woman, like this drove me up the fucking wall. I can't believe you watch this stuff. I mean, like don't have to for work.

We don't, this isn't a part of your job. I won't, you know, I like it. Also it's good to know. You're not stressed out enough. You don't, you're never going to have a roommate again. What do you call a wife? A wife. That's even worse. They're just they're embedded in there, dude. Yeah, when the CIA gave her to me, right when they applied them, they did all things. I don't know what they did in the interview process. I don't know how. They assigned her and I'm not quite certain what the end result is going to be. It's gonna be you know, me and her together and you off doing nothing. Hey,

as long as I'm doing nothing. But this... But like, as in dead. Nothing is an... The eternal nothing. Is that like vacation? It almost sounds nice. Can I be dead for a week?

Just come back. Just come back. I want to see the funeral. That's all I want to do. I want to hear how people lament and then I want to be able to come back. But in episode one of season two... the first eulogy i'll be like finally We didn't think it was possible

Uh, but this woman janie lynn rid. She was convicted of like this is wild So she was living with this woman by the name of rachel like she was living with this woman And she posed as sort of her best friend, essentially. And then she got hurt. Essentially when she got sick. So Rachel got sick and then depended on this woman as her roommate more and more red flag. Don't do that because she had moved in. She was extremely sick. Who was sick? The good roommate or the bad roommate? The good roommate and the bad roommate kind of good roommate. And the bad roommate kind of posed

as their very, very good friend and insinuated themselves in their lives and then slowly but surely was poisoning this woman. It turns out was why she ended up being super, super sick. She was poisoning her and then trying to essentially take over her life and steal her son from her, this woman, Jane Elian Redd. And what she got busted on was that she was,

again, this woman was too trusting. Rachel was too trusting. She had her roommate dressing wounds on her back. She had these- Forget trusting, she needed her. Yes, and she betrayed the trust. Yes, yes, and it's just a lot. It's just a lot.

I'm not trying to blame Rachel, but it was like she gave a lot. It's just a lot. I'm not trying to blame Rachel, but it was like she gave a lot of power over to a roommate. And then this woman started dressing her back and she got this horrible, she had these wounds in her back and she said that she was taking care of her bandages for her and she got this horrible staph infection. Almost died, came back.

She then got another infection from this other, was called Mercer is what she got which is just like really fucked horrible staffer infection then it turns out she started getting sick again and All kind of like spoiler for episode one just cuz you gotta know it's just episode one It's just episode one. Yes, Janie Lynn rid what she was doing went onto the dark web. She somehow figured this out She's just some lady. She went onto the dark web. Was she selling the bandages? Well, no. She bought the virus. She bought this off of the dark web and she had bought this thing called Versa, which is this antibiotic resistant version of staph infection. That's

this bacteria that could literally be a weapon of mass destruction that if it goes out of control it could create a gigantic bacterial swing it could kill an entire hospital like like it's really really bad and she got busted by Homeland Security for buying this this massive this weapon of mass destruction mm-hmm and then guess how many years and Dale she got to you know I was gonna guess too it just was wild to me she destroyed this woman's life almost a And guess how many years in jail she got? Two. You know, I was gonna guess two. It just was wild to me. She destroyed this woman's life.

Almost a killer. Try to kill her three times. Look, it's just buying diseases off the dark web. I mean, that's just first of all, how do we get rid of this dark web? You know, I say get a flashlight. No, the dark web is important though. I am one of those that believe in it. The one fake statistic is that 90% of the internet is encrypted.

So most of the internet that we see, like literally Google, Yahoo, that's 10% of the active internet. Everything else is behind some form of wall. The reason why I think- Can you get organs on the dark web? Yes, you can get any sort of instrument you want and there's so like the dark web is this incredible. I went over your head I'm sorry. Yeah. Oh, okay or that Oregon. Yes Yeah, but I would say I was thinking about the dark web and why would you sell an organ that you play like a piano?

On the dark web, but yes that went over my head. It was a good joke. Go ahead now But the thing is what happens you need a kidney. I do. Yes. And you buy one off the dark web. Yep. And you show up to your doctor like got this kidney. They just pop it in. You. You think so? Yeah. You find a guy, the whole point. You just have to find the right doctor. I do believe that this is true. SideStoriesLPOTLtoGmail.com, but I do believe it's BYOK. Okay. That if you show up with an organ to pop in you,

because that's how you get somebody to sign up. I do believe there's tests that have to be run. But it's like why either a family member or someone can come and donate a kidney to you. And then you don't have to wait on a list. But they have to take the kidney out of the other guy and then put it in you. They like that.

You can't just show up and be like this is AB positive I'm sure. SideStoriesLPOTLatgmail.com. I'm pretty certain you can just not like you need the paperwork. Yeah. You need the receipt. Something. Then you gotta look at the zip code on it or something. There's something on there. It's gotta be like a number on the box. I don't fucking know. But the reason why the dark web is important I will say is because yes, there's a fucked up stuff on there You got all this the CS am and you have weapons and you know viruses that you can actively purchase that's horrible But also there's something about the freedom of us no matter what fucking goes down in our government Or whatever goes down across the world that there is a place that we can anonymously talk as a group of people and

So right now it's bad because it's not an AOL because no one pays attention to that That's funny, but it's like but I do believe in it's criminally neutral, right? So the Internet's just neutral. There is no good or bad that you can really apply to it It is just an open marketplace of ideas and goods and that's how how it's going to play a bad stuff on the internet. But you I'm just saying the way that the tubes work is that they don't care. The internet does not care. So but the we need this neutral space. Are you saying that we need it?

We because if we don't have it and we don't need it, we're going to be fucked. So it's better to have it and have it be kind of bad and have bad things pop in and out of it than have no way to talk anonymously at all. I do believe now is the black market out of business because of the dark web I think it's the same. I think black market was never place you go to get I think black work It's a concept. I just assumed it was someplace in Caracas. No, I'm soon. There's a place In Caracas. Yeah, but no, I don't think there's yeah, there's no black market Yeah, welcome to the black market everybody. Yeah, that would, I don't think there's, yeah, there's no black market. Yeah. Welcome to the black market, everybody. No, yeah, yeah, that would be very bad advertising.

We got kidneys, we got children, we got knife cuts. Don't tell anybody. Keep it a secret. But yeah, that was, that's, the whole series, uh, uh, fucks me up. Yeah, you shouldn't watch that shit, man. It's just interesting. It's so, but you are, you have problems. What? You have your own problems. Yeah, it's called,'s so, but you are, you have problems. What? You

have your own problems. Yeah it's called, but yeah, but sometimes seeing somebody else's worst problems are great. Alright. Speaking of. I watched the Patty Hearst movie. Isn't it great? We'll talk about this week on the show. It's unbelievable. We'll talk about it on the last podcast. I can't wait. Alright, number one Karen Reid update came in. Missed trial. Huge. There was a, the Karen Reid trial update came in mistrial huge care There was a the Karen Reid trial has ended in a mistrial. So why don't you get her a sash that says mistrial? Yeah Mistrial 2024 You know, it could be me. She's a good she's good-looking

She definitely was drunk. It was good Hard case for them to pull apart. So does this mean that she's off side stories LPOTL at gmail.com I was asking myself the same question I believe it just means they have to retry it from the beginning, but I don't know what the process Yes, yes It is a massive pain in the ass But it's better than being guilty for her because then she gets to kind of I do believe she gets to leave jail And then prepare the

Start all over again. I believe what could they instead of retrying her try this cop that might have done it. No No, they would have to have evidence for that and right now they haven't decided because this is just defending her Yeah, so it's not about you know They are throwing stuff against everybody else to try to kind of take blame off her Mmm, but we'll see it shows that that evidence was extremely compelling and the lead investigator in the case was he was relieved of duty Which just means he was moved to some other place. I was relieved of duty earlier today, man. I heard Couple other updates uh Eddie did come with some incorrect information about Taylor Swift. I don't know what happened to me.

He was wrong. What happened here? But I was like, I have to claim I might have dyslexia. You might. Because I was reading, is Danica Patrick is the one that dated Aaron Rodgers? She did date Aaron Rodgers and did get some of that pure blood commenter. Yes. Which must have been great for her.

You can see it's really worked out for her. Apparently I said Taylor Swift, even though I was thinking I would have sworn to death that I said Danica Patrick. It's because you had the Danica Patrick stuff up on your computer. But it doesn't matter. Taylor Swift came out of my mouth. But Eddie, you were accidentally speaking a form of truth because yes. But it's not true. Oh, it's incredibly true. There's Taylor Swift. We all know number one, the NBA, the NFL, NBA, I'll just say all of it. FIFA it's written. Well, FIFA we know we know that it's all written and decided beforehand.

NFL decided three each season's decided three years beforehand. The Miami Dolphins won because they don't like them and they don't fucking, cause they're not campaigning hard enough. They got to go to the foreign press. They have the Superbowl down in our fucking stadium all the goddamn time. It's warm and it's nice there All right, because Miami people like to party in Miami They give us that we just had the Panthers win the only reason why you have a stadium so other teams can come to your Stadium I want the Dolphins to win so I can quit watching football

Then you should apply to write for the NFL because they need new writers Obviously because they're not doing very well. And then the NBA, all these sports are failing. We know this, right? And all they do is write. They're all private. No, no, no. They're all, everything's in deep failure.

And Taylor Swift was there to protect the NFL and help the NFL. She was contracted from behind. She got checks in her. She would sort of, kind of, but at the same same she was supposed to date Aaron Rodgers That is how the script was supposed to go down, but then he got the I believe was an ankle injury, right? He's healed. Yeah. Yeah The smallest little part of him and so he went out of the seat He went out of season so we can do mushrooms and not take vaccines, right?

She then realized oh, I'm the part of this narrative is I need to be with a winner, Travis Kelsey, who was made by several scientists from a combination of lemur, jackal DNA, and then the, I've heard actual DNA strands from Gerbils himself, which is to pair up with Taylor Swift. He was, he was. Honestly, a lot of pair up with Taylor Swift. He was. He was, honestly, a lot of people don't want to give him credit.

Yah, yah, yah, yah, yah. But fucking Taylor Swift, who is- I don't think any woman would knowingly date a jet. They'd have to know the NFL. She doesn't know the NFL, but she knows she needs to be with a winner. So she got with Travis Kelsey, right? And then because again, he was put together by the DNA of lemurs and, and, and raccoons

and jackals and then some things from grubbles and the Taylor Swift obviously was made from Hitler himself. Like she was made by several record executives in a ritual in Burbank. And it was, it was huge. And then that that was, that's the day the music was born. No, it's odd. Is that you and Taylor Swift are kind of on the same side of life. What do you mean? You know, you have the same ideals.

You want the best for humanity and stuff like that. You're saying that I'm also born of, I'm not, though I'm Polish. I couldn't be. You want the best for everybody. Yeah, of course, but Taylor Swift is looking for supreme control of all of us. She doesn't care. It's going to happen. We need to keep an eye out.

Honestly, I'd vote for her at this point. I think that that's exactly what she wants. And this is a slippery slope. Please run, Taylor. No, no, no. Please don't. Right now. Please just announce you are running for president.

That's the end of us. Run for president. That's the end of this experiment of liberty. I admit. That's the end of us. It cannot happen. No, do not. Do not run.

She cannot be in charge. You're beautiful. You're smart. You can handle it. I think you'd be great. Will, do you want to never hear Alison Chains again? I could go with or without it. You dirty fuck.

I like them, but I don't straighter you're a traitor your sex and your gender if you said Springsteen I you know she's out well Springsteen's old now she doesn't care about how like young current bands like Stone Temple Pilots and Pearl Jam oh yeah she's afraid of that the lead singer of two of the bands that you mentioned are dead And have been dead only the good die young And that's that Let's get to any I was also wrong about the number of Mormons, but everyone is yeah all right. Let's get to All right, so one thing that we got we got a great emails

All right, so one thing that we got we got a great email Is that gonna be is that a trouble statement that doesn't matter I don't think the mo I don't think the Mormons are listening I bet that we got like six. We got XMOS. Yeah, we got a lot of XMOS. Yeah. Yeah, it's different All right. So this is one more thing I did ask I want to get into which is talking about the Boeing leak the ISS leak. All right. Now this is very interesting. I asked a lot of questions to scientists last week. Yeah. There are a long list of checks and approvals that NASA range safety Boeing and their launch vehicle ULA have to go through before they already go for launch. If you ever watch a launch on the internet or on TV,

you'll hear just a small number of people who are in this list of approval. So they are go. The helium leak was a known issue before launch, but they figured out that it would be okay for the relatively short trip that the vehicle would have on station. After launch, more leaks appeared and some of the thrusters on the service module of the vehicle failed. They were able to successfully dock to the station still, so at that point the crew were safe. The good news is the vehicle that they used to get back to that used to get to and back from the station effectively has two sections.

One is the capsule that the crew were in and the other is that currently all of the problems are located, which is in the service module. While the capsule is still completely functional at this time. After they separate from the station and before they return to Earth, the capsule separates from the service module and the service section burns up on reentry the hard part and why they keep pushing back returning to earth as if they want to be absolutely sure that when they leave to come back home the other issues with the capsule won't pop up so teams are working around the clock to make sure that doesn't happen and it's's like, apparently this just kind of happens a lot. No leaks before you leave Earth. But this is apparently, well it's because helium, it's not fucking windshield wiper fluid, but according to scientists, helium is so small atomically as a compound, that's why it leaks, is that it's extremely easy for it to leak.

And most of the time it's not an issue most of the time It's actually they've know that a certain amount of helium will leak Isn't interesting I guess so I just think these people I'm worried about these guys. Yeah, I mean, yeah, they're astronauts, but they sign up for this They did sign up for this they sign up for this and that's what they went to go do and yes And Boeing is not doing great. Man, can they just have a week where they don't fuck up? No. Makes me think how much they used to fuck up before everyone started reporting on it and watching them under a microscope. There is that and also the idea of there has been a from what

I've heard from emails and what it seems to be a common thread is that they have lost the plot like many industries have where they are literally just shooting for profit because we're in some weird capitalism breakdown right now. It's so great. Just make things good. You don't need so much money. We grew up in the nineties where we thought it was just going to get better. Sorry, you idiots.

I mean, I mean, every movie, every future movie is very dystopian. Well, that was also, but that is my theories that we have creative almost in a way ourselves into the scenario that we have sort of in some ways asked for it. And now that it's here because we were so fascinated with the dystopia in as a young people that now we're kind of sort of making it happen. What's scary to you? Robocop or demolition man? Robocop Robocop. Demolition man's kind of fun. It's kind of fun. It's young people that now we're kind of sort of making it happen What's scary to you Robocop or demolition man? Robocop Robocop demolition man's kind of fun. I mean well you can't do anything

No, but one is the conservative future and one's the liberal future is which one's the liberal future I would say demolition man's the unfortunate liberal for your future in terms of Still getting locked up for cursing. Yeah, of course, but that's that side of it And then there's Robocop see but liberals love the curse Yeah, but we do figure cock cock and fuck suck. We figure it out. You get licenses or something Yeah, I think it's a great idea. I get a license to curse as a comedian. I think that we should get a license to curse Come one to say. Come.

All right. Now let's get into one of the major stories. The big, the big one, right? This is my, I am fascinated with this. I didn't hear about this. You brought it up to me this morning. And it is very new. So just understand that it is a lot of details are going to come out about the story and we are not anywhere near the end of the story. So this is developing even though she is developed. She has very much been developed for a long period of time. Now this is Shelby Hewitt, the story of a 32 year old, a high school imposter. Now the long story short is that this is a lady, the 32 years young, who posed as children.

She posed as a little girl, 16 year old named Daniela. She also posed as a 13 year old named Ellie Blake. And who, she somehow worked her way into the Boston area schools for an entire year. One of the weird things about her is that she did work for the state. Yeah, she worked for Diphys. This is a person that was, it is extremely,

this is a very compelling story. She worked for the state. She had a full on, like, I think she was making $65,000 a year just from her job. She also had bought, she'd take out several loans. She had bought a house. She had bought all these things during this time period. But while all of this,

while she's doing all this adult behavior, she's also just putting herself in school as a trafficked human trafficked child. Yeah. She says that she was like, and it's very, very weird. But one of the things that she built, she built this entire universe of characters. She built, she created a person named Michelle Delphi who worked for DCF. There was another child perceptions group and another. She created all of these fake emails and personas and forms to email herself into these official

locations to just be a child. Because she knew how to do that working for DCF. Yes, she knew what needed to be done and she started working with this weird ass therapist. Now the therapist is being named in a bunch of these complaints, even though the therapist themselves are saying that I had nothing to do with this. This person lied to me and cause the, so when Shelby Hewitt first arrived on the scene to this therapist was that she told her that she had the Jack disease, right?

That she looked old, but was very young. She was getting ahead of it. She said kids were making fun of her. Well, that was one of the personas that she created while she was already in school. As her youngest persona, Ellie, she was in school. She then posed as her own mother and wrote an email or like her guardian into her own the back to school Complaining that her daughter herself was getting bullied by the other children for looking old and she said I have this Disease where I age in advance and this therapist Rebecca Burnett. She had this growth hormone deficiency

It's something like that, but it's fake because she made it up yeah, because you saw it too yeah so she got involved with this therapist named Rebecca Burnett I love it like sometimes we think kids are just being mean but they're actually. Everybody what's going on there like that's an adult that's looking weird. It's obviously an adult and that's what saying with that you can't pick on her. No, she's very small looking. She's tiny.

But we were just saying there's no baby fat. You really could tell the difference between a fucking adult and a child when they're standing next to each other. She does look super young when you look at her just by herself. But yeah, you put her next to a kid. A child? Look at her. She's got broad shoulders. She looks like a bartender. Yes, and so she created the fake social workers these official looking emails And so a part of that got her into this woman's a good dispersive this person's attention Rebecca Burnett

So Rebecca Burnett had worked at DCF So to her this woman this therapist Rebecca Burnett was like in charge of this program that she was in Shelby Hewitt as a part of this it was an eating disorder group for young women. And when Shelby first went into this eating disorder group, she came in under her real name and age as Shelby Hewitt. And this therapist, Rebecca Burnett, who was overrunning this whole thing, is considered to be like, she's a high profile therapist who's trying to go places. She's trying to do these big sort of like public things,

semi-political semi-like just trying to become a public therapist person. Like she's becoming, trying to become famous, essentially. And so Shelby Hewitt was in this program and we know that Rebecca Burnett had met Shelby Hubert at her real age. But then Shelby Hewitt started these stories about being Daniela Herrera and this Ellie persona and Rebecca Bernat helped her. So at some point during the same period, she was just a boss overseeing everything. She decided that she liked Shelby or she saw interest in Shelby. She took over Shelby's therapy,

like actual therapeutic practice, but then moved Shelby Hewitt into her home, which is against every single version of like what you would like. Essentially it's, it's breaking so many different, both just actual rules and kind of like off the book rules for therapists. You're not supposed to live with your therapist. Never, never. I don't even want to know my therapist's real name. Well, cause every time you ever asked a single, I'll do that cause I get curious. And I asked my therapist some questions. Yeah.

And then you just kind of find out that your therapist is fucking nuts. Oh, you have to be the one to listen to people's problems. All goddamn insane. We've talked about this, but yeah, they're all nuts. Um, but so this woman, so it's like right now, this is the information that we have, but we know that Rebecca Burnett, this accredited therapist helped Shelby Hewitt put together the forms and all of these, these government things in order to put her into school. She claims that she would, that Shelby had held one over on her. Well, she says, Rebecca Burnett says, I had no idea.

All of these were the independent actions of Shelby Hewitt she lied to me. I thought she was 13 years old, which is why we took her in Well, you're not recognized her if you talked to her multiple years ago I'm so but we'll find out that's again technically that slander So I don't know we I mean the jury's out Eddie But she met her when she was the proper when, when she knew she was the proper age. You know what would be a good punishment for her? She would have to just start dating pedophiles only.

What a great punishment. What a great, what a great idea. Yeah I would. That is the perfect. You are convicted to only dating pedophiles. And both you and the pedophile go, oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh no. Well, so this is my call. This has never been kissed if it was directed by Todd Salons. So she is, I, my big old Hail Mary completely fake total conjecture opinion on this case is that Rebecca Burnett? brought Shelby Hewitt into her care and

Decided in a form of like what about Bob style? Obsession was like I'm going to do a new extreme Very very experimental version of therapy on you where we shall immerse you yes You did lose your childhood because she said she was human trafficked, that's a lie. She was like, ah yes, but we shall give you back your childhood by magically making you a child again. And so I feel like there is a little bit of that, because she popped braces on, like Shelby Hewitt

had a whole fake thing going on. So I feel like it's either, like I just don't think that she was snowballed. They're all saying that we're all of the, the anonymous sources that came forward in the article because none of them want to talk about because they're all going to get fired from the jobs. Oh yeah. Because they let this adult become everybody. This is like a massive systemic failure of the children. Yeah. Basically the only new was the children were actually extremely lucky. She didn't decide to molest a bunch of people because this is actually a story that is not that far off because there was another recent fake mom that went in.

These things happen in clusters. There was another story recently of a mom that had faked going into being a child, but she used it to have sex with a child. So this is weird because while we don't have any of those details yet in this story, if this sounds gross, but if you're not there for the fucking and the sucking, why go back to middle school? This school sucks. Who's fucking and sucking in middle school?

She would be if she was molesting. If she was saying, if she went back to molest, I kind of understand that more in a way, because at least there's an unattainable goal that you're shooting for. That is the thing about what drives me crazy about this is I don't understand the end game. Yeah, what's the why? I feel like that's what everybody's saying. It's a pathological thing on Shelby Hewitt's part. So there's a lot of coverage on the Boston Globe website. So you could look at that. Honestly, a lot of that's like,

it goes in a lot more detail and you should read this, but this whole story's fascinating. Well, that's exciting. Isn't it? I just like this idea of being a kid sucks. Forever young. Oh man. Well, that's nice.

Let's do another one. Let's do another one Oh, how about something fun and light? Yeah, sure This Florida man sneeze and his intestines came out of his body at a restaurant Press the eject button now. He was a barely 63 years fun. He was recovering from surgery So, you know, it's not like it would just happened. No. Yeah good But that's why when I first saw but I first saw the man sneezed his guts out of his butt I thought I was like man, that's hilarious. Yeah, but I thought it wasn't because of surgery I just thought it was like man. There's some loose ass tins man Yes, man. My tins are loaded on the Florida man. So he was eating dinner with his wife. And so he had, he sneezed now and I'm a big sneezer. Oh yes. You were when I sneeze, I

sneeze. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's real loud. It's a very man thing. Yeah. So I, and also it feels good. Oh, I like, but I, I I I sneeze different when I'm with those at breakfast Yeah during breakfast the man sneeze forcibly following by coughing so he immediately noticed a wet sensation and pain in his lower abdomen My tins looking down he observed several loops of pink bowel protruding from his recent surgical site Oh fuck, I'm a Christmas ornament. Now, this is wild. So they went to breakfast because they got the staples that bound the wound together out, right? And so they went to go celebrate it.

Because when I get my staples out... Sometimes you gotta keep those in. Right. Just a little longer. Now I know. But it's like sometimes, you know, because you know me, when I get my staples out, moons over Miami. Because I want to stress it I really want to push it. So he's he's formerly he's coughed. Yeah, it's just We had it all put together

That's why he thought he would be fine because it was supposed to have been healed and then just came out the fucking front dude And then they just kind of which I also think is fascinating about the human bodies that were just bags So they just push it back in and put a fucking yeah, they say he's fine Yeah, these pop a cork in them. They just put they just sewed him back up. They pushed the intestines back in he's totally fine They're like, hey now you you know, let this go again. They're like blaming him They put a fucking clothespin over his nose and told him to go home Yeah, they expected the full length of the small bowel and noted no evidence of injury. So it just came out full loop.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, but also that's called pressing the Control-Alt-Delete button of the human body. Yeah, you got to stay away from that pepper when you're at breakfast. Pepper makes you sneeze. But also, technically, and I'm going to say this to you, Eddie,

this is not an insult. You can control the size of your sneeze like roll up if you wanted to. Well, somewhat. It hurts. It does. If I try to have a smaller sneeze, it hurts. Well, it depends on it. It's just I'm a big sneezer.

You are a big sneezer, but I do feel like there's a way. But I have done like small ones. You can small in your sneeze. I have done it, and it hurts. What is this? Holding in a sneeze can be dangerous because it increases the pressure in your respiratory system by 5 to twenty times more

Than normal sneeze. Yeah, so maybe that's what happened this guy. Maybe he's holding in his knees Whoa, maybe he should have let it go cause your throat to rupture. Yeah. No, it hurts these Holding in a sneeze can break your ribs and I don't think you should be walking around Holding in a sneeze can cause a brain aneurysm. Jesus fucking Christ, is anything not dangerous? Nothing, everything's dangerous. What in the living fuck? Can't I control my own goddamn sneezes?

Are we just so anti-regulation in this country? Sneeze is Christ. That's stupid. Fucking stupid. Imagine people to sneeze on the cross. Oh man! Oh shit! My fucking dick fell out of my little underpants. Oh more spaghetti!

Look at here! He's the one. He makin' a fettuccine. Who wants to kill a loud mouth? Who wants to do it? That's Punch's pilot. Hey who wants to get together and fucking kill a guy mouth? Who wants to do it? That's Punch's pilot, that's my punch pilot Hey who wants to get the guy who will fucking kill the guy who's gonna tell him to be peaceful? It's me, it's me I kill the pasta man

Oh what I hear we killin' the pasta man he is a like a He... Awww pasta man It's really sad what happened to Jesus Christ if you think about it Alright here we go now my second favorite story of the week. Okay. I feel bad for this woman, but unfortunately this is her fault and it is very sad, but I will say this is what I want my future.

This is what I want. I want my future to be this guy, right? Because this guy's got it all figured out except for he's probably gonna go to jail for manslaughter Now this is a woman named Danielle car gone. Oh Yes, no she is all from the UK and this lady It's really sad. So she died of diabetes and complications from diabetes because she entered into of diabetes and complication from diabetes because she entered into

So she died She went into slapping therapy it was a slapping therapy retreat Yeah, and she viewed this healer remember the name of Hong Chi Zhao as sent by God now This healer remember the name of Hong Chi Zhao as sent by God now she died 71 years old now What she was not slapped to death for the record? No at first when you sent me this article is like this one was slapped to death. They've joked about this for so long Yes, but no she was getting slightly Low level clap to death while she while diabetes did the door she went in the dirty work Yeah, now a woman with diabetes clapped to death while she while diabetes did the door she went into dirty work. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Now a woman with diabetes.

So she stopped taking her insulin because she listened to this guy who is an absolute. He's absolutely full of shit. I if you could slap yourself better. I would have a long time ago. Now Hong Chi Zhao. He does this thing. It's a type of therapy that he goes by the name of Master Zhao. It's called Pai-de-la-jin therapy. Now in this therapy, patients are slapped or they slap themselves.

Now I guess the idea is that it opens up some kind of, they said energetic portals and stuff. If you can hear, this is what happens. So this woman was told to stop taking her insulin. By Hong-Chi. Yes. And not by a doctor No, no, no, no never a doctor doctor would put her on insulin And so she went to one of his weekends before and she said that during that time period she started to feel ill But at the time she called them quote

Healing crises which means he's like so he told her it's like as she was beginning to literally succumb to her diabetes while in slapping therapy, he said that these are the dips. This is the darkest point before the dawn. Yeah. What he kept telling her. And so he kept slapping her and she died. And if you want to hear what that sounds like, it sounds a little bit like this. Now this is just,

this is just some selections of what podgelagene therapy is like. Just slapping a guy's head. Just like right in the temple too. It's really annoying. And they're slapping some other guy's stomach and his tongue's sticking out of his mouth and he's holding the pillow.

These guys, everyone here is dying. They're all in terrible pain. My only thing is that can't he have a book or something? But go to the other one. Now, this is the other one where they're getting everybody to slap themselves on the ears, which I think is also bad for that. I think this is really bad. Yeah, but it does make a fun noise. Okay, here, now here's some explanations. Lens and the liver. There we have the backside here.

It's showing a man's butt. This is where you feel the most painful area yep when you do the stretching you remember on the clothes okay you can always do it on the clothes you said oh do you slap on the clothes but the effect is much worse no no yes because the energy is wasted yep and this is why we have the slippers do we we have slippers? That's why they have slippers. You need to buy from the hospital. The slippers, at the beginning, why don't we use the slippers? We have to teach you how to use your own hands first. So they're gonna pull this man's pants down.

There is energy here. Not in the continuation of this video, we can stop it right now, but then they pull this man who's standing on a chair in the circle of a bunch of people, they pull and reveal his bare buttocks, and then they spank him for a period of time. But you know what I like about it? It's a light spanking, which is what I like.

Now, this is not the only time he has slapped somebody to death. He also slapped a six-year-old to death. He got a six-year-old, he's now being, this court has heard he was previously convicted of manslaughter in Australia after a six-year-old boy with diabetes stopped taking insulin Allegedly under his instruction and died about 17 months before her car gums death

and so according to that child which what the child said according to According to ziao no pain no gain now car gum wanted to find an alternative to insulin because she was a vegetarian and had a fear of needles. Yes. Makes no sense to me. Well, I just think that she did. No one likes taking his insulin with a needle. It's not fun. No, I know. I know. But what do needles have to do with being a vegetarian? I am going to go on a limb and say that Danielle

car gum was a difficult woman from time to time. I know that there's a, you see this very sweet picture of her sitting amongst the dandelions and I don't, that I get, I don't blame her, but at the same time, slapping doesn't fill your belly alone. No, if you're going to get slapped professionally, healthily, I won't take that from you. I think you should go get slapped a little pitter-pats. You go do it, but just know, right? It's not going to do everything else for you.

You know what? It's going to be really good at doing. I mean, can you think, yeah, you're going to have flushed cheeks, top and bottom. Yeah. Cause you're getting slapped. She stopped taking insulin on Monday, October 17th, howled in pain for three days and then died on the 20th of October. All while getting gently spanked. Yeah. And in many ways, it's kind of how I want to go.

Very gently spanked until I go to sleep. I don't wake up. But you know, Hong Chi-Zao is going to hopefully be arrested for this. He made everybody fast, which also probably would have fucked her up. And yeah, he's not a doctor. He's not accredited by any form of board. He's not on the UK's Association of Traditional Chinese Medicine. He is not medically trained at all.

So if somebody's telling you you can spank yourself to good health and it's not about starting an OnlyFans and then making the money for a gym membership, they're lying to you. Yeah. I feel awful for this woman because she was just trying to look for something but someone just

got to talk to her and tell her to take her fucking insulin. It's just getting lightly spanked for a week is not going to do it. You need, if someone tells you you need insulin, take the insulin. Just take the insulin and then go get spanked for a week. Yeah, you can still get spanked. It's the light, and then it cuts all of them blap in their ears and you're like, quit hating yourself. Quit fucking hating yourself. If he would have licked his hand before he slapped somebody, that would have been fucking, that probably would have been more on his side. He probably would have said that I would have made him more fucking like

electrically charged He had wet hands I Love those, you know, I don't like fight videos But when someone licks their hand before they slap somebody that one I'll always remember that one but the guy was just sitting there and I got licked his hand Pops him the back of the fucking head All right, you got a story yeah sure I got stories um there's this 90 year old Chinese woman Who was unwilling she didn't know that she was using a hand grenade as a hammer for 20 years. She's extremely lucky. Yeah.

It is an obvious old school grenade. It looks like the kind of the ones the Germans used to have. It reminds me from playing Call of Duty, the old up the WW2 one, the one where you throw it. Not the one that we have with the little, you know, would you pull out the pen? No, it's like a stick and it's got a charge at the end. Yeah. Yeah. And she thought when she found that in a field that it was a hammer and so

she used it as a hammer. She cracked nuts with it. She hammered the nails. She she used it to ground red pepper. Yeah. And then there was so she again, she's 90. It was only last week when a team of men working on demolishing her old house noticed a hand grenade that the retired woman learned she'd been gambling with her life with every time she used it He said the it had a guy literally is the it is so overused at the middle of the wood handle is worn down Yeah, and you see my chance all around the explosive head Yeah, and then they took it in like oh, it's probably a dud and they took it in they're like no that's up

That's life. There's a live ass hand grenade man. Yeah Years just using it as a hammer So I guess you know that they're not that dangerous No, you know, huh or that's the luckiest woman who's ever fucking lived Yeah, you know that is a lady that you should go buy a lottery ticket So many people just walk into traffic by accident get hit by a bus this woman Was using her grenade as a hammer? You know just like yeah wantonly using it just smashing it against tables and stuff being like oh this whole thing

Yeah, man. She lucky dude. Yeah, be careful the construction workers saw it when they were demolishing their house to do this like wow Yeah, he's like You old crazy bat. Oh my god. Um, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah shows here them getting rid of it They're just wrapping it in bubble wrap man. It was used to hammer in nails. Yeah, just throw it Honest, they should just go explode it in the field. You should go throw it in the ocean Right, not the ocean you kill fish. Do you think I'll do that? Yeah, you when you throw bombs in the ocean. It does bad I thought it but I thought it stopped it

No, you kill if you throw a bomb into the ocean it will kill fish But it's not the at first it would just stop they would stop the explosive from going because they get waterlogged when in an emergency Throw the bomb in the ocean. I mean, that's how I'd fish for sure No, I wish I could that's how Jacques Cousteau started, you know, I heard he used to throw the bombs in the ocean Yeah, we talked about this and Jocka Jacques Cousteau. He fucking made it work. He's a friend of every octopus Yeah, well now he is now. He knows that what he did was wrong. Is he not dead? No, he's dead. His son's doing it now, but you know. He's no way he's good as this. Father, right?

Oh, he can't be. No one's as good as their father. Even me. I don't know if that's true. I think you're better than your father. I'm better. You still can walk. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, you got all your parts. I got to go, well, we'll see what happens. We'll see. Yeah, we'll get to it. Time will tell on that one. But yeah, no, no, no. Jacques Cousteau. Go watch the Jacques Cousteau documentaries on Disney Plus

It's very good. I just always think of C lab 2021. Well, it's got nothing to do with that Just trying to connect Just trying to find some mutual understanding with my friend How about this lady who tried to kill her husband with roundup in his Mountain Dew because he didn't appreciate his 50th birthday party. Is there not a more Like that tracks harder. Yeah for a wife's behavior than anything possible It's like he didn't do anything wrong. Throw me a party. Please don't throw me a party. I don't want to just I want to be alone I know I know and then she went and she threw him a party anyway She is and he hated it because he didn't want to party. He didn't want to party through 50.

He said, she said that she was not appreciative. But then also like, what does not appreciative mean? Did he not like with my mom, when she says I'm not appreciative, it's because I haven't literally crumbled to my knees and have not kissing her Cool-odded ankles. Yeah, you know, I mean that's she requires me to weep with Joy and gratitude every single thing that she does. But if it wasn't for her you wouldn't even be alive There wouldn't even be a last podcast on the left network great But I'm just saying that we owe it all to her whatever

Whatever. I love you mama's even she did it once she had one good afternoon Shit, too. Oh, yeah, sir. I know I'm counting her. Well, I'm counting when she had me I'm talking about the day they conceived me. Oh, and then the day that they had me the day She sloppily took it from your father. Yeah. God damn what a romantic night that must have been. Oh, his gin gimlet kisses. So this guy, he loves his Mountain Dew and he keeps his Mountain Dew in the garage fridge. Yeah, he has a lot of Mountain Dew. He's the only Daya Mountain Dew, so don't call him a pig. Yeah. And he also said to the whole

family, also, what a disgusting drink. Yeah. Oh no, I hate Mountain Dew. Just drink Mountain Dew. Also, you gotta stop Mountain Dew once you turn 18. I don't, I think that this was his thrill. Yeah. He was 50. I know. You can't be drinking Mountain Dew. I mean, he would have died in a week anyway. It was for him. All right, you should have just waited.

Because she's in great health. If you look at Michelle Peters, She looks crazy. the lady, she's like, she's got a little bit crazy eye, but I actually kind of think she's very attractive. She's got a crazy mouth too. She's very attractive. I mean, I don't know about that. I think of her as very attractive.

You think of this woman as attractive? Yes, she terrifies me. Exactly, attractive. And so I kind of like that. But so she, like, so this guy, she got angry because maybe, because we haven't seen pictures of us, but I think it's more than just that he was mad about the party. And so she kept putting Roundup roundup weed killer in his Mountain Dew because it does swim we need it is across diet Mountain Dew

Please this guy's not an asshole. I Mean, I don't know. Maybe he was Maybe he wasn't I'm sure he was rude. Yeah, I'm sure that he was rude She shouldn't try to kill him though several times. Yeah, and so he did try to do it several times She did try because he kept saying he filmed her he found her well What happened that he had a couple like he said he went he had his Mountain Dew like he has at work Outside of home and he noticed that the Mountain Dew that he was getting from the two liters at home was tasting different The Mountain Dew he was having well work. Yeah, right, which is also being like, you know, I switch up drinks

Well, I tell you what beers at work tastes better than beers at home. Hey man beers of the doctor are the best beers I've ever had Snuck in a beer of the waiting room to the doctor Man, it's fucking the key. No like a shower beer. Yes. I don't I just don't want to fall down What do you mean? You worried you're gonna get two hammered off of one beer and fall in the shower? So this guy's this is on my birthday, so he said it was weird he got sick So he said sore throat diriya, and then he was throwing up this brown yellow thick mucus That was his intestines being dissolved the husband said that when he drank Mountain Dew outside of his home. It isn't normal So that's so he then looked at the ring footage, so they have footage inside the house being dissolved the husband said that when he drank Mountain Dew outside of his home it is a normal so

So he then looked at the ring footage. So they have footage inside the house and they saw Michelle Peters Poisoning the fucking soda. Well, she saw they saw her grab the Mountain Dew and grab the weed killer Leave the room and come back and put them both back put them both back and at first she said which is a very funny Clever ruse because she said to the police officers, Oh no, I've that all this is getting overblown. I was just making this new weed killer mix I saw on Tik TOK, which makes a lot of sense that I could absolutely see there being a stupid Tik TOK like thing of mixing Mountain Dew and weed killer. I absolutely see there being a stupid TikTok-like thing of mixing Mountain Dew and weed killer.

It's like, but yeah, weed killer is still doing the heavy lifting. It's the Kumail Nanjiani joke. Yes, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do the heroin. Yeah, and so yeah, he, yes. And so eventually they're like, no, we have the video. We saw it, do it.

And she said, yes, I was angry. And then she died, I was angry. And yeah, she just said he was not appreciative and she did it quote-unquote to be mean Yeah, and so she'll be in court today. Yeah, she's gonna be going to jail for attempted murder Probably that'll happen. Yeah, there's a lot of people And now it's time for some listener letters a s f Don't finish don't you fucking finish and no L that's just making sense Here we go. I was listening late to the arm in my Viserys and I figured I'd tell you about my experience

This is the second email I've gotten from a cannibal. Okay, I'm 39 and female I'm just like this whole thing has taught me that Cannibals are round buddy, and they use the internet. Oh, yes, they do You would think that they're just like living in the jungle or somebody. Nope No, these cannibals are real and it is way more prevalent than we think it is Armand by the Senate and it's true Mm-hmm, and that's bad. I mean and they're voting They're vote. So I feel like Biden could reach out to the cannibal consistency. We need everyone we can get if he could Bite off his own pinky. Yeah and go like she look at that. Let me be clear Jack. I human skin

Hey, I'll eat you skin. Hey Jack. I need human skin. I need human skin. Hey Jack, you want to come over here and lick my wife? Get a taste of my wife. Come here, Jack. Watch me. I'll suck on my foot till it's bone. Oh, where's my foot? Biden's looking for that vote. I had an arousal response to the idea of being torn apart, for example, by animals and eaten from a horrifyingly young age, maybe eight.

That's my biggest fear. What getting torn apart by animals that first and made that person come. Think about that. That's crazy. I frequented sites like Cannibal Cafe from as early as I get online access at 15. Unlike burned, I never sought to make it a reality in seriousness. Thankfully, my mental health was very bad from age 14 with depression and anxiety. I suffered childhood abuse from my mother. I was diagnosed autistic in my mid-twenties. My interest in being eaten, guru shit like

that, all the dolcet girls, peaked when my mental health was at its worst at age 25. Then I was put on wellbutrin. It literally stopped this dead within weeks. No more interest, no more fetish, just revulsion in this place, cured. It has never come back. I believe there was a fetish and that was a part of me since it had started so young. I feel bad for Bernd

that he never had the chance to recover. I will add that my time exploring fucked up cannibal shit was horrifying. There are many claims, offers out there that you can pay sums of money to travel to countries, notably Cambodia, and torture people consume human flesh. This really seems real and not a fantasy. There are also a lot of disgusting older men trying to talk a younger woman into being

consumed for real. It's fucked up and I do think it might happen more than we know. I absolutely it happens more than we know. Yeah, of course it ought to really Definitely happens. We saw it, you know with the cannibal cop we thought like again, there are thought anybody No, but they came this close and it was the way he went about His fantasy which is why the cannibal cops criminal is because he used his Resources as a police officer. Yeah, which is just, and then I just want it like, it's just the issue is that if the,

I don't want to kink shame, but I don't know what to say about this. If you have this type of paraphilia, eventually it is very possible that it will lead to you physicalizing the paraphilia. That's the thing is like, you don't want to kink shame, but some kinks are illegal. Cause it's crime.

Yeah, this is a crime. Yeah. It ain't good. Yeah, please don't do it. Just fucking again come to when I do the Donner Party cannibal dinner again Yeah, are you doing it again? Yeah, we're gonna do it again at some point. I forget when But we're gonna be planning doing another one Fucking that's how you get it out of your system. Yeah, there's got you play pretend play pretend act Yeah, try acting. Yeah, like sir Lawrence Olivier said to Dustin Hoffman try acting friend We're not supposed to eat people. No, we were body rejects it. Yeah doesn't want it. Yeah dolphins see you can't eat dolphins I mean can eat dolphins. There's just bad. Yes too much mercury mercury. You make your kids heads big It's bad for the pussies

Blows them out blows them. Yeah, boy. It's blows about I Love every day. You got that pussy that normal-ass fucking size. No dolphin headed babies coming out of that vagina. Oh, thank the Lord Come on now, and you gotta live knowing hey Mr. Dolphin if you're gonna fuck me you wear rubber Hey, Mr. Dolphin, if you're gonna fuck me, you wear rubber. You fucking wear rubber, you dirty little dolphin. And then he laughs as he pulls out and he comes across his own dolphin fence. Gotta love a triple L, especially when it's awesome.

So go to Pantreon.com. Last podcast on the left. You will see us speak on that if you pay for it. It's good, but also go to the YouTube. We've been working hard. YouTube's killing it these days. YouTube's killing it. Good puts all over the YouTube.

Good puts all over the YouTube. All the Twitch shows, you miss them, watch them on the YouTube. Watch them on the YouTube. Last streams there. It's at last podcast on the left. And then you go see what she's doing her fucking horseshoes in there It's great. I think it's funny and it really links it I wanted to plug we one of our one of the biggest fans of the show and just all-around great person Sherry

Curran is going through it right now She has a go fund me up there if you want to find it I will have it on my Instagram page all week. That's Eddie tunes. Uncle Sherry. If you watch the streams, she's always around. She's going through, she's got she's got cancer and she needs some help covering bills while fighting cancer. Cause she can't work. She trims weed. She's a really good asset. But so we just go help her out. It's on a go fund me. It says, help cover bills while fighting cancer, Sherry Curranran or you could just find the link on my Instagram

Yeah, I'm honestly Sherry. I hope that you're doing better and you go over the guts. That's fucking awful I know a lot of people that are coming down with it. It's just been it is insane How many people I know are getting it right now? And so I hope the best for you and you're going to beat it. I forget hope the best. You're definitely going to be at it. Go get it. You're going to be okay. Go get it.

Sherry. We work. We're rooting for you and then go to last podcast and left that calm support us. Going five for her 10 for us. Go back and forth. Give one in one one in one in one in one. All right going to a live on tour. Come see us in DC. I am weekend. I'm so excited. Go back and forth. One and one, one and one and one and one. Alright.

Going to Alive on Tour. Come see us in DC. Next weekend. I'm so excited. I'm planning a surprise. You're planning a surprise? For the audiences at DC. Oh, for the audience, not for me.

Could be. I hate surprises. You're gonna hate this. I love going to DC, by the way. I'm fine. I love doing shows in DC. I just love walking around, man. I think it's cool. I think it can in DC. I just love walking around man. I think it's cool

I think it can be cool sometimes it triggers me well Yeah, you're supposed to get a little mad, but the first time I saw the Lincoln Memorial. I liked it. We were together Yeah, we skipped a rally yeah, and then we just went on a little vacation It was kind of nice Ariana Huffington paid for everyone to go see John Oliver and Oda Stephen Colbert and John Stewart speak And it was too crazy So we just walked around and have a nice day. We just left. That's such a wonderful time. You know, it's like Forrest Gump Thank you, Ariana Huffington. I think I thank her every day when I wake up. Yeah Guys this is the show and we will see you next week, won't we?

Eddie. I mean, who knows. Who knows? We could be fucking dead. Maybe we'll get eaten by cannibals. Who fucking knows? Maybe we'll get slapped to death. Hey, at least I went the way that I lived.

Getting slowly spanked by an Asian man that I've paid. This show is made possible by listeners like you. by an Asian man that I've paid.