Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Bad Teacher

Episode Date: October 14, 2026

Henry & Eddie bring you this week’s weirdest news and wildest stories - a Milwaukee woman accused of posing as a substitute teacher just to talk shit to kids, a theme park slip-up leaves one man dead, a fatal encounter at a UK tiger enclosure, monkey gangs terrorizing Nepal, Satan gets the floor at an Iowa city council meeting, the cheesesteak debate continues, and MORE! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Let me know when we're going.

I feel vulnerable today. You look vulnerable. I'm tired. Your hat's all fucked up. Thank you. I did this. This is a structural issue. The hat issue is a structural issue that I'm dealing with.

Right now it's because for a while I was kind of felt. I'm going to say hog tied, maybe just because of the way I look, but I felt hog tied by the fact that, you know, everyone was like, there was like a flat brim conspiracy happening with hats.

Yeah, I don't mind the flat brim, but I need the other option. This is the thing. I've just taken it back and say, you know what? I'm not doing flat brims anymore.

I'm not a Funko Pop collector. Whoa, you're going to attach the flat brim to the Funko Pop. I'm not a steam punk rapper. I have one funco pop. Yeah? I have one fun.

It's a Willie Nelson and it was a gift. That's cute, but that's fine. It's a gift you didn't buy it. You know what pissed me off? What about this fucking Funko Pop? It doesn't stand on its own. What do you mean? It just like falls off.

It's top heavy. And so it just falls over anytime like a door shuts. Like Willie Nelson. Like Willie Nelson. But you know what I did? It's what they did to Willie Nelson glued his fucking feet to the ground. And that's what you got to do to men of a certain age. Welcome to Side Story.

I'm sitting here with Ed Larson, not glued, completely free. No, completely free. I'm man of my own volition. He gets out there, and me, I'm Henry Zabrowski. I am still reeling from seeing paranormal activity on Broadway. Dude, it was awesome! It was so good. I'm so, like, all right, I went the full spectrum.

We both did the same thing, Eddie. It's so funny. I show up to town. They're like paranormal activity at the August Wilson Theater. I'm like, oh, the historically black theater. One of the most important locations in theater history. And as that was happening, because same thing. I was like, what an abomination.

Yeah, I was so mad. I can't fucking believe they'd do something like that. And then I saw another ad for it. And I was like, unfucking believable. How silly is this shit? And then I yelled at someone in the street about it. And they were like, I hear it's good. Literally.

I was like, I don't know, like, Tiffany on Broadway. And someone's like, my cousin saw it. It's fabulous. Everywhere you go. And then I was just like, all right. And so then I went into it. I was like, well, I'm going to look at the reviews and see the scathing reviews that are going to show that I'm correct in my, oh, they're saying it's spooky and compelling. Oh, they're saying that it's a delight to be a hold in a wonderful night out with family and friends for the spooky time of year.

I was like, do I need to go see paranormal activity on Broadway? And then I sent Natalie a text in the middle of the night. I was like, should I go see paranormal activity on Broadway? and she was like, of course. Yeah, yeah. Then you asked me and I asked Julie, and Julie had the same reaction. And I was like, what?

Am I taking crazy pills? Nope, no, no, no. They were, but the girls were right. They went. We went and sat second row. Yeah, it was me and Julie, second row on Broadway, having a blind,

just like literally wonderful time. Screaming, scream, screaming, laughing, going like, and you know what it is? And I'm going to say this here into a microphone. It is absolutely. Broadway's plan to try to bring black people and Latino people to Broadway.

It was wild. It is absolutely the plan. We were in the movie theater. They were like, Stop, don't go with me! It was great. It's the funny as shit. And obviously, it's bad for theater or whatever, but I don't fucking.

I don't care about it. I laugh my fucking ass off. And maybe laugh my ass off. I thought it was really fun. I had to tell the guy next to me to be quiet at one point, and then I felt bad about it because I feel like he was right. He could be like, Ily, got you going there. She got the demon.

She got the demon. This is my favorite shit. I love it. It was surprisingly amazing. It feels like a new art form. It was really fun. It was a fun. I've never seen a scary play before.

We're not obviously being paid. No. No one fucking knows. They have no idea that we're talking about them. They probably are upset that we're talking about them. I'm just saying it's a very interesting show. But we had so much fun, man. I want to see what this creates.

I want to see. the next scary play now. I want to see hereditary on Broadway. Honestly, I feel like it would work. I want to see hereditary on Broadway. Midsummer would work too. Yeah, I would. You should produce it. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good idea. Broadway's such a thriving business. The only way we're going to make it at this point is you're going to

need like a, it's like, what is a woman, the musical? You know what I mean? That's the other side. They're going to start going after the MAGA crowd or whatever. shout out to Joyle Johnson and John Trowbridge for joining us live in Brooklyn. Rob, you did great. Rob joined us live on stage in Brooklyn. Marcus popped up for his first side story show. He was pretty great.

It was the first time he's ever seen us live, which is hilarious. There are fans I've seen it like four times. He's never, he has no idea. I didn't know that's what you guys did. He's like, yeah, it's fun. Yeah, we really do have a lot of fun. And that was truly, you got to check out the show. because we have been adding guests, fun new things.

John Trowbridge came as Baron Trump on stilts. It was the funniest. It made me so happy. His bit so fucking funny. And one more piece of a little business before we get into stories today. The second printing of Fright Jansons' revolting repository of Gasling Sounds, parts one and two, is officially back on sale. This Friday for our second printing of our Halloween sound effects album,

go over to Newberrycomics.com to go buy it this Friday. I believe it starts at like midnight. I don't know what it's exactly. And so that shit's going to sell out immediately, but it's a candy corn looking vinyl. It's cool. And then we're going to have limited edition LPN variants that are going to be sold at two Los Angeles locations starting this Saturday. One is at the Mystic Museum in Burbank where Ed and I are going to be at 10.30. This is all just hatched.

10.30 a.m. 10.30 in the morning. We got 20 records left. The LPN variant. So it's got its own special thing, its own special vinyl style to it. And then we are going to be, and then it's also going to be

at permanent records. So go check them out. Go get it. We are live, baby. It is spooky season. Yeah. If you're on vacay in L.A., come and get that goddamn album.

It's going to be a lot of fun. Come get that shit. Get that fucking shit. Also tonight I'm going to be at the Stray Theater with Amber Nelson. But that's, you know, if anyone cares. But if you're in town. I'm going to come see that show.

Oh, that's going to be a lot of fun. I'm going to come see your ass. Slambers Comedy Bash, Keith Carey, Mean Boys fame, and Leah Bonamont. It's going to be a lot of blast. So we got some updates. Krista Pike lived. She's like, fine. So Krista Pike was like, woke up and was like, that was nuts.

Whoa, what the living fuck, y'all? Where I went was hot. I'm itchy. I don't like this. So Krista Pike, for those of you that don't know, we covered it last week. she went through, they gave her two taps of lethal injection. She was in jail for torturing and murdering a woman to death with a partner. She was on death row for many, many years.

We also know that she attacked a bunch of people in jail. We know she tried to escape. Chris Pike was really intense. But that lady's flat-ass veins saved her life because she had a collapsed vein. They stuck the lethal injection inside of her. She felt hot. She felt like her arm was going to explode. but then she lived.

But everybody thought they double shot her. The double shot her and they legitimately thought well there's no way there was going to be no brain activity. Yeah.

But apparently she's up and walking and the terms they use which I thought was kind of hilarious were she's irritated and confused. Yeah, yeah. And it's like yeah. You can't kill me, you fucking piece of shit.

You can fucking kill me. I don't die. I make things die. You know like she's fucking, I'm proud of her. she toddled right out of that she fucking took two government shots to the head boom boom boom boom and she is

alive and thriving so you can't kill it can kill her teflon I've been talking to a lot of people about this because it's very interesting but it is crazy how many times people are like let her out let her out she survived it's like well now she's just hold on

on that just hold on that I honestly think that if I'm going to If I was Crystal Pike, I'd be extra mad. So if I got let out, I'd do a bunch of crimes. That is for fucking certain. If I was just let out after all that, I'd be like, oh, we're now really doing this. I'm fucking three. You're trying to kill me fucking twice.

Now I know you can't kill me. And this also kind of brings up the, we'll talk very vaguely about the Peter Hagsith, talking about killing the essentially doing a public execution of the Fort Hood shooter. Imagine if something like this happened. And it will. And I'm just going to put it out there. My read on this situation is that it's not going to happen. It's that no streamer is going to do it.

And that they could even try to build their own pipes in order to put it out on some government website. Because Peter Higgsath just said that. He just said they're going to live stream the execution. Yeah. We have no idea how that it's going to happen. We don't know if people are willing to see. And if I was you, I would go check out. And I don't like social media.

But if I was you, I would go read Damien Eccles' response to this story. Oh, interesting. Because Damien Eccles talks about what it's like to be on death row, go through this whole process, watch people get murdered in front of him in jail. Like, he watched two people get stabbed the death in jail in front of him. And he also saw a man that got to know a murderer that wept. audibly every night about what he did.

And so he saw both. He saw, it's extremely complex. This whole scenario is extremely complex. But the idea that you think that you can just put somebody dying on the internet, like it is already on there, right? I watch police body cam footage

that has... You can still find it. Yeah, and the riff tracks on that is great. Yeah. And then the... I love those guys. But love those guys.

But the other, the body cam footage, like I've seen people get shot on body cam footage and accidentally. And I don't like it, y'all. I think that it is going to hurt the soul of America. And what Damien Eccles is basically

saying is that if you've never seen somebody die and then that's the way you see somebody die, it is going to wreck your entire life. It's like a stain on your very soul. And so I just say even if they do it, I would

avoid it. Yes. No, it's not good to watch someone die. I wonder if something like this will be so awful that it will help lead to abolishing the death penalty altogether. I don't know if we're in the learning lessons part of the time period. Yeah, I guess if we're not doing it after Krista Pike. I think that if we're still just rolling with it. Because people have been killed since that. People have gotten a hot shot since Krista Pike lived.

Oh, yeah. Yep, yep, yep. It is. So we are, yeah, we're not in that. So I would just say, go see what Damien Eccles has to say about this very subject. It is fascinating. It's extremely complex. It is a lot of fun little moral holes.

Yeah. And we're against a death penalty, but maybe because we're a bunch of snowflake cucks that suck our own dicks for a limit. I also, in the camp, that it is way harder to live in prison for the rest of your life than die early. You and I both agree. Yeah. No one else you should check out is the wrongfully accused podcast. I learned a lot about from that podcast. It's one of the few podcasts I've checked out from time to time.

And the one thing I learned is that one out of 20 people on death row are presumed innocent. Yes. So that alone. And the Ford Hood guy, I don't fucking care about this shooter. I don't care. Fuck that fucker. I fuck him. It's not about him.

It's really just this idea that it's this whole vibe. It's this whole macho vibe that we are just fucking stuck in and we can't get out of. We just have to, like, public executions are for dictators and fucking third world countries and people that have horrible governments and like it's terrified. All of this news that have been coming out all feels like it is connected and I don't know how to put that all together yet between like the Cornell stuff and this and the ice murders and all this. It's all, I don't know what the issue that is that is that connected, but I just feel like the whole fucking thing is connected. is connected. And if you have any theories, side stories, L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com.

Like, yes, obviously maybe it's the concept of the patriarchy gone wild, but I also think we've been in one for a long time and it ain't been this bad in a hot fucking second. So, I don't know what the fuck's going on out there. I'm with you, but let's stay out of the heavy shit. There's a lot of fun stuff that happened this week.

Best story I've ever read. Hit me with it. By far, the best story I've ever read. I love this woman. Woman fake being a substitute teacher just to go into class and berate the children. Single funniest thing I've ever seen, heard of. I'm so happy. I know that she was, I'm going to just say that her material was in the Shane Gillis camp of being a bit blue and a little bit thin.

But it was pretty funny. Amy Jones. She was 23, you know. Yeah, yeah. She's 23 years old. She went back to her Milwaukee high school because she said, quote, she was bored and hates kids. Yeah. So I fucking, oh my God.

So this is a Miliwakey. Amy Jones, 23 years young. September 24th. So I guess she just walked in. They said one thing that they said it was a super low, like it was this kind of perfect storm. She got kind of lucky. Yeah, it was a perfect storm. It was like eight teachers had called out.

And they only had seven replacements. So like, oh, you must be for the last one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put me in there. So she went to Rufus King International High School. Which is a hilarious name for her high school. I don't know who Rufus King is.

Let's look that up. Who knows, who knows. But a resource officer was told that a teacher was, quote, using profane language, racial slurs, sexually derogatory statements, and organizing students by race and gender in class. They're being like, over here, black kids. Over here, white kids.

You Dominican? Over here. You can't stand over here. Right? Again, this is not. Hey, fat boy. She literally, hey, fat boy. Yeah, she called one student fat boy.

she has another student if she wanted to be a stripper or a hooker. Which one you got? Which one you won't be? You want to be stripper or hooker? And she told two white students that they were the type of people to start school shootings. Hey, crackers! I know you dangerous ass crackers. I know you're some dangerous ass crackers.

Look at you. I know you are. Look at you. You know, you're a pinched face. You get your black-ass jeans on. Then she started asking for vap or weed and then like no one had it. And she's like, yo lame. You all lame.

Yeah, you know, it's a crime. Three classes. She got three three periods. She, full, three full hours of it. And that sweet release, that sweet release of those full three hours just like listening, looking at the crooked spines of these iPad babies and just yelling at their faces, God, I'm jealous. She's got six felonies.

Oh, yeah. It's because you're not supposed to break into school. No, they hate that. And they should. believe that the idea of it. What she did is wrong. It doesn't make me not proud of her. I love what she did. Hate the sin. It's the opposite. Hate the sinner. Was I like love the sinner. Hate the sin. Yeah. I kind of love both, but I do understand

that she needs. I wish she would have filled out the paperwork to become a substitute teacher and then get fired. That would be simply the best. That would be the better move. Seems like she's a little impatient for that. She could probably built that up too. And she could move from And this is all great advice, Eddie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She could then move from county to county and then reapply as a substitute. Because they don't care.

No idea. They have no, it's so lack of paperwork and anything. And then you could berate kids in different counties. Yeah. Which I think could be really fun. She is smiling very widely for her mugshot. She knows that she's funny. She was arrested again within the last 24 hours for stealing a car from a gym.

She is an erratic human being, Rob. Yeah. I don't think that, I think that she might be a bit erratic. But we are, but I do think there's hope for her. I feel like if we get her on meds, like she could be opening for us. Yes, I think that we're there. I think that we're there. I think that if she could get that all figured out, she could maybe figure.

She's got a lot of extra energy. But she is facing six felony charges. They could be in convicted. She can get a maximum sentence of 21 years. I don't think that's going to happen to her. I doubt that. The main one is impersonating a public employee and then five counts of exposing a child to harmful descriptions, which

I mean, I feel like they're just kind of like tacking that on. Well, the one thing, well, yes, they're going to, they're trying to, just get her fucking all, they're trying to fucking get her on whatever they can get her, because it's really the idea of, it's not about her making fun of the kids. Everyone wants to make fun of the kids. I feel bad for the fat kid, but, I mean, it's... Same time, sometimes you got to hear it. I got called fucking,

the only did was scream free willy at me for fucking a decade. For a long time, yeah. It's just what happens, okay? And so, I think that she is, yeah, she's in the wrong. I do understand the main, main issue here is breaking into the school. We can see why they want to make sure that they punish you from fucking breaking into a school. During a time when

people shoot up schools all the time, it's not a good time to do this. No, it is not. This is not a good look. You should do this at a private school. Yeah, also, you do this in the 70s, no one cares. Everybody laughs. You become a teacher. Is it kind of a good thing that she did this? Because she pointed out a weakness in their security. No, it's just easy

to do. Anybody can walk into a school and kill everybody. It's actually extremely easy. It's a place for children. That principal should be, you know, in a lot of trouble. I'm sure they are. But they said that she went through all the security protocols. Yeah. So she didn't have a gun. She didn't have anything. She went to a metal detector and stuff like that. But they did not really validate that she was a teacher.

So that was one of those things that they should go through. Basically, like, who knows, there's more of a system that could be there. But we know that the elementary school and all of these systems, every public school system is stressed to the absolute max in order to work for as little money as humanly possible. So I could see why there are gaps like this. But yes, she got to live everybody's dream, but hopefully she doesn't get punishment to the maximum for it. And that's the best part is just yelling at a bunch of fucking teenagers.

Oh, my God. White kids over here. Black kids over here. It's so funny. I was like, oh, my God, lady, what are you doing it? It's just so funny. Just doing speed roast. She's just doing what fucking, she's just doing our job.

Because the idea of just pulling them apart and taking them, part, but yeah, you know. And also, let's just say they gave those kids so much stuff to talk about. Oh my God. It's also, it's like you're a parent of one of those kids. It's like, okay, I'm mad that this happened and it's sad, but what did you learn? What did you learn? What did you learn? Tell us. I learned that I'm a pussy. I'm a whack-ass pussy, mom. Yes, you are. Exactly. Yeah. Because you're never holding, are you, son? Where's your fap? Yeah. You're never holding. You never know what the next. We don't know where the link is.

Right? Where's the fucking link, son? Oh, Milwaukee. God, I love him. Live from North Lane. All right, we got, and what's next door? We got some really good stuff. Oh, holy fucking shit.

So six flags over Georgia. Whoa, you guys fucked up. Big guy fell out of the Goliath ride, collapsed on top of a bunch of people. The worst part is, did you see the pictures of the souvenir picture? So the souvenir picture snapped at the exact time that he fell out of the roller coaster. He's tumbling through the air, like really like butthole first, which is an unfortunate way to have your last picture be taken. Yes.

I'm really hope that whatever happens to me in this life, Eddie, that my final picture isn't me upside down, butthole spread, shooting through the air on top of a roller coaster. I'm going to do anything I can. I mean, well, at this point, everyone knows that Six Flags is now scary. They don't, they don't. Well, Six Flags, the Avenue owner. They shut down a bunch of the rides afterwards. They have to. Oh, the other ones are fucked up too.

I'm going to put this out there as a 42-year-old man whose beautiful wife is addicted to theme parks. And I love theme parks. You guys both love them. I'm taken to many different theme parks. I go to many different ones. And honestly, I am at the point where I really only trust Disney Universal for the rides.

Because of how much they have left to use. That's the Cedar Fair. people. I don't think they don't have any deaths that I know of. No, no they don't, but they definitely have a bunch of aging rides being absolutely just entirely managed by 15 to 16 year olds. Man, the one that scares me the most is the kid that fell out of the drop ride in Orlando a couple years ago. That was a lot harder because that was a kid. This is my, this is a shout out to all you guys and this is a warning. If you're too big for the ride. Don't, you don't, you don't to prove it. Just don't get on the ride.

Yeah. Okay, because the man, most deaths of roller coasters, it's true, are human error. Yeah. Most deaths evolving roller coasters, the... Because it snaps soon. Yeah, the engineering... Yeah, the engineering is fine, largely. Most people die when they,

you know, like, how many times you hear about a guy losing his hat, jumping over the fence to get in there to fucking go find the hat, he gets hit by somebody coming through. There was that famous story from Six Flags. I think Jersey, or was it also Georgia, the one the kid kicked the guy's head off. I mean, I think that one is a,

I think that is like urban legends. Yes, but there's a couple of those. There's a couple of those. But the idea of just, if it doesn't click, you must have quit. If it does not click, you got to get out of the ride. Don't take the ride.

I'm not blaming this guy. I'm trying to not blame this guy. It's not his fault. It is slightly his fault because he might have insisted, it seems like the latch didn't properly latch, something happened to cause him to project into the air. It was one of those rides where I've been on one of these before. It's just the lap band.

It's just the lap band. And it goes really crazy. I went on one in the Orion in Cincinnati. And I was like, I accepted death. You know what it is, too? It's not, and I mean this like even seriously. It is not built for men with like barrel chested or bellies. It's really not.

It's not those things. You get loose and jiggle around in there. Because if it's not literally pressing into your organs, like above your waist, this is fat man. I'm saying this is deep fat man concern and lessons here, y'all. Yeah, I want to hear from a physicist. This is from a real fat one of the years. The side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. The view of physicists.

My thing is that I think guys don't want to press it in so hard so they either expand while they get it on and then they relax when they get into it. I think some people want to lose a ride. You can't be comfortable all the time. Well, as a fat man. two, it's not built for the physics of you being, like, I mean it, I'm one, I'm exactly

one, 70% of my body weight is for my butt up, right? So I am all top heavy. It is the exact bad thing for the stupid lap band. I'm the exact, I feel it, I feel me sliding out of it, because there's nothing for me to grab onto.

Put the fucking shoulder harnesses on. Where are the shoulder harnesses? Everything should have shoulder harnesses. Or at least they also have, if you're of lap band also have a seatbelt. Yeah, something. You've got to make sure that you're not getting it out of there. It's terrified. And I just also feel

like the insidification of it all is also rampant. We're really seeing nobody's looking at these things. They are cutting staff and cutting staff and cutting staff and cutting regulations and they're just not checking on the rides enough. Also, I

want to take this as a moment to remind everyone that they need to change the name to five flags because one of the flags is the Confederate flag. But they're not going to change it, Eddie, because they love that flag. Yes. It's one of the flags. Yes.

But they're like, oh, well, unfortunately, it's called six flags. It's called six flags. That's one of the flags. You can go ahead and change it to five flags. I will not. We will not change it to five flags. Five flags or one. That's a Parisian thing.

The Parisians have five-ass flag. I say you change it to five flags or seven flags and have the Nazi flag. If you're going to do it, have one and have the other. I'd also say, eight flags, have all the flags. Confederate flag, LGBTQ flag, and Nazi flag. I want all the flags. I want everyone confused. Eight flags.

Eight flags. Yeah, see, now we're learning. As long as it's even. That's what I needed to be even. Otherwise, I can't sleep. Although seven is lucky. Lucky number seven. You think the lines are going to be bad for this when it starts back up?

You think it'll be... The whole thing is... Well, right now, We'll see if Six Flags even fucking stays open at this point. They're, they've had to shut the whole thing down. You couldn't pay me money to go on a fucking roller coaster. It's a Six Flags right now.

I say this, at this park, here's my prediction. This will stay closed for a week and it'll open back up. Yeah, people forget. And they already paid money and everybody kind of wants to half die anyway. Yeah,

yeah, yeah. Maybe they put shoulder straps on it. How? It needs to be rebuilt. It needs to be rebuilt. But yeah, I would go ahead and say that if it doesn't have shoulder straps, you take that.

a lesson to not go on that roller coaster. I'm just not going to do that anymore. Yeah, I think that one, that's over for me. There was another incident at a family park. This happened in England, in the beautiful UK, at the Yorkshire Wildlife Park. Yorkshire. A young man in his 30s, I believe, jumped into the tiger enclosure and Altai the Tiger kill them. So it sounds like he is, like, what would you call him? There's some, there's kind of like a bunch of

conflicting reports about whether or not, like what his mentality was. No matter what he is, he jumped the fence, two fences, I believe, people holding onto him trying not to get him to jump over. They jumped off a bridge into the enclosure. So he didn't listen. Yes. So he didn't listen to the advice of others. So you're saying he's obstinate? I say whatever. his issue is, it's not the tiger's fault. No, and so we have the video, we're not even playing it, but it's like, I saw the

video of him jumping in, and the video of him being mauled by this tiger. It kind of stops before the kill. Dude, it's kind of crazy because he really is very casual about it. Yeah, he's like, wagging his finger at it. He's profusely bleeding. He's saying no.

Stop it. Even the tiger kind of looks back, like, is this guy serious? No, he's like, I want to say the tiger gives him like three opportunities to leave like literally the tiger's like what the fuck bro get out of here yeah no get out of here this is not something but he's literally like slapping

his leg going like go bro he's like looking at him being like I just bit you twice don't you want to go someplace yeah also because he's probably fed of course you know what I mean like he didn't eat him he just killed him yes and then also tigers

what you were saying too if you're going to jump into any enclosure. The lion enclosure is a little bit easier. Well, if you're going to choose lions or tigers, I would always choose lions. Because they're a little bit lazier. They're a little lazier, and they're, you know, they're friendlier, and sometimes the ladies will stick up for you. But it doesn't matter.

You shouldn't do that. I'm not telling you anyone to do any of this, because it's all stupid. Yeah, don't go in there. There's an offense for a reason. But shout out to the Yorkshire Zoo for not killing the tiger. It does not deserve to be euthanized after

someone tried to fight it. I completely agree. I think that it is actually, to be honest, kind of nice that they're not... I think it's nice that they're not killing the tiger. Can I speak like a businessman

for two seconds? Please. I think it's a draw. Of course. This tiger killed somebody. Oh yeah. Is that the tiger that killed somebody? Yeah.

He's Chris the Pike. There's gonna be a line around the block. Yeah, no, he's free. To look at this tiger now. Yeah, because he did it nicely. Mm-hmm. He was just trying to, like,

you just, you came into his home. Yeah. They're extremely territorial creatures. Also, this tiger is born in the zoo. So it just shows like it is like it doesn't matter if they're from the wild or not. It's a tiger. It's a fucking tiger. I also feel like there really is a lot of people that have come to believe because he was

begging for people to take pictures of him. He was like dancing around and acting like all silly. And so there is a part of me that really does. It's connected back to social media. It's connected back to some form of like legitimately believing he can he can just reason with the tiger, then he'll go in there and this is just like a funny lark. People believe that they're not

going to get hurt or killed. People just believe it's not going to happen to them. Well, it's just some animal. Like, they really just think they're going to go in there and it's almost like they can't, and maybe it's really, there's something connected to almost like an AI type psychosis.

It's almost like a thing psychosis where you kind of really believe like everything's almost a video game maybe or like everything is content that you're watching on your phone and not in real life. I don't know who needs to hear this, but you're not special. No. You're not special. You're just, honestly, we're just a bunch of meat.

We're disgustingly not unique. Yeah. We're wildly not unique as an animal. Just remember that, okay? We just figured out that we're separate from other animals. And it might be a plus negative for us. Yeah. No, this isn't good.

Yeah, so this tiger's just straight up fucking killed this guy. And you know what? I'm not saying he deserved it, but. Yeah, he did. If you jump into a tiger or cage, I'm going to just say that as nicely as possible. You went past people telling you to stop. There was barbed wire. There was barbed wire.

People were dragging you. This is exactly what this guy wanted. This was a really hard cage to get it. Yes. I think he may not have fully understood what he was getting himself into when he jumped over that cage. Of course not. Yeah, he's a fucking moron. It does seem like he had some stuff going on.

That's what they're saying they might have some mental health stuff going on. Yeah, sure. But still, everybody's yelling, don't do this, don't do this. You need to, I mean, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah. If you got mental problems, do what a hero does and go break into a school. Teach a class. Teach a class and berate the children.

They're saying he may have wanted to play with the tiger. Yeah, of course he is. He's a fucking, it doesn't matter, man. We all want to play with tigers. I know, I do too. Everybody does. A tiger almost killed Roy. St. Frieden Roy.

And he had such an intimate. relationship with the tigers. He kisses the tiger. Yes. And the tiger still killed him. Well, didn't kill him, but they tried to kill him. Basically. It fucking ended the show.

He was never the same. Yeah. Yeah, I know that much. Yes. But so, yeah, don't do that. And I'll tell you what, if you're in Nepal, you've got to look out as well. Yeah, it is. Because apparently there is.

Monkey attacks. There's a lot of monkeys. It's a monkey attack. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Monkey. attacks. Yeah, but I don't know what's going on. Nepal is kind of fucked. I don't know how you pronounce this. I feel so bad

for Nepal right now. Was monkey gang attacks are everywhere. And so people, they're running out of hospital beds from people being bit by monkeys. Over 40 victims have been sent to the hospital because of monkeys have been breaking in the people's homes and injuring them inside their own homes. I remember monkeys

were tearing apart a store and the shopkeepers like, you can't do that, you got to stop. And then the monkeys all just started attacking the store owner. They haven't killed anybody, but these monkey bites, they fucking, I mean, they're... Bad fucking bites, dude. Yeah. I follow

a older monkey on social media called Shinging. Oh, I love him. From China. You showed me him, and I like him now. The problem with Shing is that he's, Shinging is getting aggressive. Yeah. And so there's like an older Chinese woman that has to beat him with a stick, right? Every single time he bites people,

but he's been biting people more and more. And they've been talking about how he's biting people more and more, but people want to go and visit him and stuff. But the thing is, like, Jing-hing doesn't give a fuck, right? Ching-jing doesn't give a fucking ass because he's got one arm. He's only got one arm. And so these people are just keeping showing up and he just keeps getting more more aggressive each time. But they think that they can teach him by like bopping him on the head with the broom and stuff.

I don't think that's helping. No, it doesn't make you, when you're hitting a bad monkey, doesn't make it a good monkey. I think Xin-ching is going to kill everybody. Yeah. But the thing is here in Nepal. Chewish little guy. They don't really know why this is happening. I think it's because monkeys are fucking angry about what we,

we're doing with the fucking what we're doing, dude. Yeah. Monkeys are angry. Monkeys talk. Yeah, I mean, yeah. They're out there. They're talking amongst themselves about us. We're fucking fucking shit up.

There's mudslides at the pole, like, taking out buildings every week now. They know that we did that. They know. Because nothing like that's ever happened before. So now the monkeys are talking. Yeah. And they're like, they're sick of this fucking shit. Oh, oh, go, guh, cock, quack, quack.

If I was those monkeys, though, they got to get in a plane, go to fucking Hartford, Connecticut where all the insurance companies are. And they need to be released into the, truly need to be released into the homes of the executives of various health insurance companies and

environmental companies. And I think that they should be unleashed upon them. I'll tell you, the Hartford show was a lot of fun. But no one that lived in Hartford came to the show. There's nobody there. There's no one there, apparently. There's no one there. I walked around for an hour and a half in the rain, and there was,

I walked into a vape shop in Hartford Connecticut and I asked the guy I was like was there like a restaurant or a coffee shop I can go to and the guy looked at me he's like restaurant nah I was like what? I was like is there nobody up no place I can go to

and he was like let me hey there a restaurant and another guy came out I was like restaurant nah nah hell not in all of Hartford not a single restaurant nothing's open I am going with my cousin

said the one Balkan restaurant on and the guy was so excited he's like Have you ever had Balkan food my friend? And I was just like, no, I don't know what it is, you know? And he was just like, no, God, it's Balka. You've never had Shushlaki? And I was like, no, buddy, I've never had Shushlaki. And then he brought this thing that was just 10 little poops.

Every society, every society has poop meats. I talked about this on the stream. There's always like, you know, there's Kofta, there's Morghese. It's like all types of. like little poopie meats. Yeah. And the poopie meat, like, because I didn't even call a meatball a poopie meat. Yeah, so I was just looking at this. I was like, where?

Just raw onions and little poopie meats. I was like, in my mind, I'm like, where the fuck is Balka or whatever the hell? So I just wrote Balkan is where into Google. Like an idiot. Bulkin is where? It is really funny. Yeah, and, yeah, but it's a lot of places.

So it's fine. But yeah, Croatia's in there. So there's that. But yeah, Balkan food does sound delicious. It is really good. Honestly, it was delicious. It's just these, what are they get? What are these poop meats called? They're called like Chedda.

Turkish kebabs. Yeah. It was like, but it was called like C-E-L-V-D-A. It was actually really good. Wow, it does just look like shit. It looks like poops, but they're really tasty poops, and I eat a lot of poop meats. Yeah, lamb is good. I love all the poop meats.

I eat every one. I like all the things that look kind of like. Some of these, Rob, are really rough. Some of these might just be pictures of shit. I don't know if these are the places Henry went, Rob. No, no, no. I went to a place who was called like Gorgushkinska. Yes.

The only thing open in Hartford. No, God. No God. We do not believe in God. God was murdered in the revolution. He was shot in the head, and his corpse was eaten by the poor. Do you have more Gush Gorskush? It is octopus blood.

We stabbed the oxen the horse. octopus in its Bartush and we drain it of its blood and we mix it with the blood of a of a gurgankush which is a squirrel-like creature that we collect

20 pounds squirrel so strong fish you like it you pick out some of the teeth it is filled with teeth the meat that's teeth in it junk sleeps very good it wasn't like that it's very nice speaking of towns that we're

Oh, God. We're about to go to. Yes. We're going to Iowa City. Very excited for the show. Please get tickets. That's in December. But this man is officially invited and does not have to buy a ticket.

I want him to show up at the show, Matthew Dalby. I want you to come to the show. I'm going to buy you stuff. I'm going to buy you a fucking drink. I'm going to buy you. We got you. We got you. We have to set.

You're going to come to our Iowa City show. You are there because you're going to read the same prayer. So a local. pastor then had to reverse the curse. But like, so this guy, Matthew Dalby showed up to this, in the, five hours south of the Twin Cities and Othumwa.

Right? You began at city council meeting, as it always does, with what they say, they have an invocation from an approved guest. Yeah, so basically if you fill out the paperwork, you can be the man who comes and does the prayer. Does the opening prayer. And they do all the religions and stuff like that. As they're supposed

to. As they're supposed to. But his guy, he filled out the paperwork and he got away with a full-on prayer for Satan. This 5.30, in this meeting to order, we will start with the invocation and the pledge, so those that would like to participate in the invocation, please stand. Everyone stands. I can't wait to thank God for giving me a child to have sex with.

Let us pray. Dear Dark Father, let us stand now unbowed and unfettered by arcane doctrines born of fearful minds in darkened times. Let us embrace the luciferian impulse to eat of the tree. of knowledge and dissipate our blissful and comforting delusions of old. Let us demand that individuals be judged for their concrete actions, not their faulty to arbitrary social norms and illusory categorizations.

Let us reason our solutions with agnosticism in all things, holding fast only to that which is demonstrably true. Yes. Let us stand firm against any and all arbitrary authority that threatens the personal sovereignty of one or all. That which will not bend must break, and that which can be destroyed by truth should never be spared to. demise. It is done.

Hail Satan. Fuck yeah! Yes! Yes! You fuck out, fucker! That's my fuck. Stop this, I want to hear this fucking fat ass. We'll talk about this. So, because like, right after the fact that the pastor who couldn't help himself is like, we've been

cursed. We need to reverse the curse. We need a moment of silence for the curse. And then the mayor of course gave in and said, like, you know, we will do that. Because like, the one guy that was who didn't give a fuck said like that's the invocation one of the guys leading the city council

meeting was kind of fine with it because he was like you know that's the invocation he's allowed he filled it out the paperwork he can do that that's what we're supposed to do here but then of course the fucking pussy mayor immediately was like no we should have a moment of silence for anybody to

want to sit with their own god and talk about their own feelings with themselves and it's like fuck you also Dalby filled out the paperwork he's scheduled to do the invocation again on November 3rd. Fuck yes. Fuck yes.

I love that motherfucker. Yes. Seriously, dude, I will buy you a meal. That is what we need. I know there's a lot of talk about like, this is a problem, guys. We'll always get, I don't want to get too heavy today. I don't have the emotional energy. Well, we are, the idea of the satanic panic is more widespread than it has ever been.

And I will always say this when it comes to criticizing the church and criticizing all these, like going to, like, the reason why I do and continue to do that is because we are in a bad church swing. Yes. We're in a bad swing towards evangelism and right wing leadership, full on Christo-fascist shit. Somebody has to constantly be needling these people. They have to be. This is not about just, yeah, sure, it's edgy Satanism stuff, but someone has to be putting it back in their face. Yeah, but the Satanists aren't the dangerous ones. They got nothing.

It's just worse. Exactly. And when you look at the people that we are focused on, we are focused, like the actual people committing the crimes are your local leaders, people destroying the world for a fake, version of AI that is not going to happen. Agenic AI is not going to fucking happen. All that's fake them. All banning about talking about destroying the world. The guys

of the entire Epstein class that rakes people with impunity. All men. All white, older men. Not a single one. Not a drag queen. Not a trans person. Not any of the things that they love to attack. All these types of things. Not a single Satanist

on those lists. Not a single, I mean it. that a single fucking one for my camp has ever fucking raped a kid. Okay? At least in the Epstein class. So what I want, so that's why I still get a little angry.

I'm sure there's been a couple local guys. Yeah, of course. Yeah, that's just different. And we're not always, Satan doesn't speak for everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's mostly just the idea that we know where the problem's coming from, y'all.

Yeah. And it's, and the more you try to tell me it's not, and the more evidence that comes out, points towards it is the more frustrated I get. My bishop fucked the altar boys. Yes, my priest fucked all the kids around me. Yeah, and guess what? My bishop is in his 90s walking around Michigan.

Bishop Keith Simons, if you see him, harass him. Throw a fucking bag of hamburgers at him. Like literally, fuck that piece of fucking shit. He's just walking around free his whole goddamn life. Just walking around fine. So until, again, that's where I keep coming back to, I'm hoping in a couple, maybe, even two years from now some of these guys

might get some punishment and then maybe I'll come off of this I horse. I feel like if I could just see one of these really established pedophiles go to jail, I'll feel a lot better about not screaming about this every single time it pops up.

Also, if you do happen to believe in all this God horse shit, Satan's the one that punishes the bad guys. So you should like them. Satan is what keeps you in business. You objective, your entire belief system is based upon him. Because yeah, just God being nice, doesn't do

anything for you, does it? You need the other side. You need Darth Vader because otherwise the Jedi's orange shit. Yeah, if the Catholics weren't so scared of going to prison or going to hell, they would just commit crimes and murder all the time. Because it's the only thing that stops them from doing it. They just got to say, I'm sorry. and they just get to go to heaven.

So it doesn't fucking matter. So it's the whole thing. Sorry, we already did this, Eddie. You said we weren't? We're not going to get heavy. We're not going to get heavy. No, we're just praising Satanism. That's all.

I just love sweet, sweet Satan. I agree with them. That's all. Live from North Korea. I think that we're at listener letters time. Let's do it. Do we have any new ones, Rob? We do.

We have a whole bunch of stingers. I was just looking to see if there was any good ones to pull up. I do have one. This one, I think it might be for Ed. Let's see how it is. All right. I sure hope you got some good ones for us today. Man, that was that done by Mike Patton?

That was every genre of music. You know what that reminded me. That reminded me, this is actually probably the highest compliment I've ever given a listener email sting. That reminded me of Mr. Bungle. Yeah. That's good. That's actually quite good. That was Andrew McCarthy.

I wonder if Andrew McCarthy Listened to Disco Volante Because it sounds like it's a Literally sounds like a track from Disco Volante Send us a follow-up email Andrew McCarthy from Weekend at Bernie's Yes I don't realize he was that talented

No he is That is his main talent Email stingers God I watched that stupid Bradpack documentary That guy made Yeah it was it bad Oh my God It literally is just him

Trying to convince everyone else In the Brack pack to talk to him on camera It's so sad And like half of the Half of the fucking documentary documentary is just him calling people begging them to be of the documentary. That's so funny. It's so poorly made.

I love those things. I love it when it's like that. I love when a documentary is mostly just a guy on a phone. That's when you know it's good. All right, here we go. We got some listener emails. And I have got an email for us. So this is, just so you know, if you are not big and fat and you don't care about cheese steaks,

just blank out for next like 10 seconds. We got, apparently I was talking to Patty's like, Since I've been looking over the emails, we've never received so many. We have probably about a good 200 emails about cheese sticks when we went off last week. I fucking love you, people. Of course, I love you. You guys know. This is what this is about, okay?

We cover the things that are of interest to our people of our society. We talk about conspiracy culture. We talk about UFOs. We talk about, we talk about fucking murder. And we talk about cheese sticks. Amen. And that is what we do here, all. So we're covering it all.

So there you go. So this one, I live right outside of Philly in South Jersey, right across the Walt Whitman. I worked in kitchens for 12 years in this area, and I've had almost every cheese steak in the tri-state area. Awesome. I wanted to touch up on a few points before I make a recommendation. What makes a good cheese steak? Number one, the bread. Yes.

It doesn't have to come from a specific bakery, but it has to be baked in the Philly, South Jersey area. This is due to the mineral content in the water, causing the bread to take on a different. consistency and flavor. Absolutely. It's why the bagels are better in New York. And it's why they bring the bagels and stuff, that's like a whole idea of in Jersey. And that's why the idea of like in Florida when you go and they're like, well, New York water, because they ship it in or whatever and it's always stupid, right?

It's always fake. Man, I'll tell you what, though. I had the best bagel of my life on this last trip. Do you know where it was? Where? White planes. I've heard a lot. Well, white planes is still legit.

I didn't realize that they had good food up there. I realized I thought they were just all week and stuff. No, no, dude. No, that was, yeah, that was delicious. They're only half week. That was a damn good bagel. I wish I remembered the name of the place to shut him out, but it was a little spot. I went to LH&H.

Oh, okay, cool. Like a real. I did Bob. I did Bobbs when I was in town. That was good. Bagel Bobbs. Shout up forever. All right.

Number two, the meat should be good quality, ribeye. Yes. Yes. Three, the ratio. They already said that. You touched on this. Number three, the ratio. There should be little to no dead space on the roll.

The entire sandwich should be touched by meat or cheese. Oftentimes you can tell a tourist cheesecake by the amount of dead space that you will see on the end of the roll. Absolutely. That is a cardinal sin. Yeah. As far as I'm concerned, the idea that there's no meat hanging off the end? Oh, yeah, no, you should be squeezing out. You should be have to pick some up at your fingers.

I want some labias there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want some little labias and that on my fucking meat each time. Absolutely. No matter what the sandwiches. This guy sounds smart. Delicious little labias. Pat and Ginos, I'm honestly not surprised.

They can't even make a good cheesecake. Why would I expect them to even act like a cheesecake spot? and stand on business. Interesting. Wow. Wow. Wow. Recommendations.

Here we go. Write these down. Number one. Inside Philly. Number one, Phillips. I watched a cashier fight the health inspector once, and then I ordered such an amazing cheesecake. I bought a second one to come home with.

Amazing. Phillips. I love it. Number two, Ishgabibbles. Number three, Delisandros. I've heard of Delisandros a lot. A lot of people have been mentioning them to me. Number four, John's roast pork.

Oh, well, yeah. Write it down. The rose pork sandwiches. Italian pork sandwiches, what he said is. Very good. Yeah. Get the pork sandwich.

That's a big sandwich where people miss. Yeah. I also feel like that's another thing. That's another Chicago thing that people don't talk about and they talk about the fucking Chicago beef. The Chicago beef is a really important sandwich to have.

Yes. Number five, Woodrow sandwich up. The Italian beef before we get killed. Italian beef. Thank you. Jesus fucking Christ. How many rules do I got to be all over, right? All right?

Also, I want to correct myself, it was not. It was not Jim Baker who cried. It was Jimmy Swagger. Oh, Jimmy Swagger. Yeah, I got that wrong. I also have a correction that I need to issue for myself. It wasn't 40 years in House of Jackbilt.

It was 12, apparently. And you know what? I stand by my statement. I don't think of fucking Walkins working for 12 years. Unbelievable. I mean, now without a health inspector. I stand by my bullshit. I'm with you.

I can see that. All right. So now here's some South Jersey wrecks. Whitter what out? Which is a great name. Oh, that is, yeah. To Donkey's Place. Fuck yeah, dude.

All right. I can't fucking burrow in one of those. Number three is that they have a custom poppy seed Kaiser roll. The cheese steak is massive. That's very funny, Eddie. Thank you. Right then. Number three, Goldsburgers, four, classy cow food joint.

Okay. And five, this is an interesting take. Because I had a really good sub there. I didn't know they made a cheese steak. The White House subs. Oh, yes, in Atlantic City. Yes. City. That's a White House. That restaurant is the only reason to go to Atlantic City.

Drive into Atlantic City. Go to White House. Immediately out. Immediately out. Get the fuck out. Go to White House. Oh, my God. And so, tell Ed to consider changing his allegiance from Jim's. I'll try some other shit, but I don't think I can change my allegiance. Well, he said the quality of the meat and rolls are good, but fuck you on the ratios. And they know because they know that one third line of tourists are going to wait in line for a cheese steak. Do yourself a favor? Spend that time going anyway. else. Also, got to say... And so yeah, hail yourselves, go birds and fuck ice. Seaside Heights. Got to add this to the Jersey contaminant. Stakes unlimited.

And Seaside Heights is special. That unfortunately, the Philly Cheese Stick is moving to Southern New Jersey. And that's not me saying this. This is from the emails. The name doesn't change. Every single person in the email is talking about how Southern Jersey is the new location for the Philly Cheese Stick. Okay. And yes, Philly, if that upsets you, get your ass into fixing the problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, if that's the thing that upsets you, be the change you want to see.

Yeah, I want to see Pats and Gino's show us how much meats in those fucking buns and stick to it. I want them to see this and engage with the criticism and understand that this is bigger than them. This is about them taking the Philly cheese steak

idea and memorializing it in a way for the Philly culture. It's up to you to not fuck your own themselves up, my friend. Yeah. You know, you've had the, you've been in control for too long. People have to come take you.

And getting lazy. That's what's happening. And if I ever show up in your line, please don't shit my food. Please, absolutely not. I will eat whatever's there. Don't worry about it. This is all just because I'm on a microphone. If I am in front of a cheese steak, it doesn't really matter.

You all know me who's seen me eat. Anybody that's in the restaurant industry that has fed me, that has seen me eat, you all know me. You know how well I tip. You know I fucking eat everything. You know I fuck. I'm a big old hog, and I spread the word. I tell other fat

men. He likes the Balkan food. I ate the Skuska-Garsk. And I liked it. I ate, it was just a pile of raw onions, 10 poops. And then there was a whole thing of this specific chili sauce

the sweet chili sauce that they made. They're like, you have it. And I had it. Honestly, it's fine. It's good. It's in Thai food already, though. I've already. booked my flight to Balca. Here we go.

I love this guy. I'm big fan, a board certified urologist. I was the guy that was dressed as Richard Chase at the Donner dinner party in Atlanta a while back. What's going on? Good to see you. Remember that? I remember that, truly. It is not uncommon for venom inoculation to cause erections or preapism. Extended erection that won't come down.

The chemicals in the venom called prostaglandins serve as signals of pain throughout most of the body, but specifically in the corpus cavernosum, your body depends on these signals to cause an erection to actually occur. In fact, we use this regularly as a safe self-injecture therapy into the penis in men with advanced erectile dysfunction, Jesus Christ. And it does not cause pain if caused done properly? What, if you hit him on the head with a fucking hammer? A reptile dysfunction. He's the kid didn't hear anything. I'm thinking of it.

You're a single word. I heard it works. That's what I heard. I heard of the states bite you, your dick gets hard. That's what I heard. Am I wrong? Oh, you're right. I'm sorry.

I summarized. I just. Interestingly, though, the urologist had discovered this presented at a natural meeting for the first time decades ago. And in a well-known incident, he self-injected this agent into his own penis prior to his presentation, at the end of which he moved out from behind. behind the podium and showed the entire audience his erect penis, proving that it worked for his own severe ED. Thank God that this happened. When I read that, I almost fucking died.

Chicken's done. Can you see? And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you're prepared, my penis. Have you seen the glory of... my hot penis it's science and you know just like five guys whose penis has not worked

in like 10 years just stood up and just bravery bravery Bill Nye used to have some fucking balls man I wish I was Bill Nye that's so fucking amazing um

and I also the erection guy I have also this is more of a serious thing and I'm just going to bring this up, because I bring it up every once in a while, and we've done little presentations on it, and I didn't really get into it when we were doing the Satanism series because I was going to do a little bit on this, but I wanted to do a little bit of a PSA about 764,

and I want to just talk about this real quick. I don't know what it is, so please. So this is connected to Jim Thornton. So this is the idea of Jim Thornton being in these chat rooms. That there's a lot of the chat rooms, because now we saw that Braden, fucking clibular. He was also a part of these,

what are pro-suicide chat. Oh, yes. No, he's a real piece of shit. So he's a part of these pro-suicide chat rooms. There's all these little chat rooms now, kind of like the way we grew up on the internet, but they're weaponized by social pressure. And they're all

stemming from this group called the Order of the Nine Angles, which I have been researching for a long time that are they are a proto-military right-wing fake Satanist group out of the UK. They're leaders currently in jail.

They infiltrated the UK military with guys that literally believe that they're going to summon the devil and the world, like, summon this ancient demon and the world. That's crazy, man. You're fucking, right? You told me that, I'd be like, man.

Fucking whatever, dude, it was fucking crazy, man. You want to go get some grishgrosh? Grish-grosh. You know, you sound like you need, man. Some gruskergarsk. I've had gruegrish-gosh for breakfast. Oh, then we got to go up to, I know this great afternoon, gru-go-go-gosh guy. You got to go check him out.

So I wanted to get in touch after hearing by Jim Thornton's side stories because the bit about lifeline and suicide prevention reminded me of something that happened to my daughter recently. I think this would be a good PSA for listeners who have kids. I ask you to keep my name anonymous. Right. It's a long story. No problem, Bill.

Yeah, no problem, lady. Let you find your address. This is very sad, sir. I'm sorry. It's a long story, a lot of details. But the gist is that my 16-year-old daughter had a boyfriend whom we forbade her from seeing last year after finding out he was pressuring her for nudes and a spate of other emotional physical abuse. I had initial gut feelings about him. I gave him the benefit of the doubt because we knew he was from a troubled home and wanted to be supportive adults in his life. Yeah. And we all know if you tell the kid you can't see him, then that just draws him to him to them.

Nothing that makes him go together faster. Fast forward to about a month ago. FBI contacted me and my husband because they wanted to interview our daughter regarding this boy's online activity. They informed us that he was tied to some 764 groups, which essentially exists to extort kids for videos of self-harm or other violent activity for online clout and general societal disruption. When we talked to her daughter about it, she told us that she had seen these discord groups on her boyfriend's phone, and he told her that they were groups where people who had been abused would send their self-harm photos to the discord groups along. with their abusers' information, and the groups would then docs SWAT these people.

Okay. Hearing about Jim Thornton claiming to be on a website to support suicidal people reminded me of this. A shitty person masquerading as altruistic. She was so infatuated with this boy that she wanted to believe his lies

even though she really knew better. Thankfully, her daughter is thriving now after cutting him out of her life and having plenty of therapy, but obviously I feel like a horrible mom for not catching these things sooner. Despite being a huge true crime, nerd and knowing that the internet is dangerous, I had no idea these groups exist and how far

they can permeate. And it's true. It's all over all of these things. It's all over Roblox. It's all over Discord. And the problem is, is that I do think there needs to be a place where people can just be people. Like, I really do believe in non-censorship of the internet because I think it leads to bad things.

I think the idea that, like, anywhere, unfortunately, where illegal information is, you know, is being distributed. It's also the place where banned information would be distributed, especially if the government goes south. Yeah. Right. So the same platforms that you would use

to distribute things like CSAM and stuff like this also would be the backdoor ways that people would talk if the government went fascist. Yeah. And where the government could show public executions. I mean, that's where they want to go. Because that's like, that my big thing with the public execution stuff

is that I don't know if they're going to find a streamer or anybody that's going to willing to put it on their pipes. I don't think anybody is going to be into being a part of this scenario. It's different than a UFC fight on the lawn. It is the idea of being a part of this new, I don't know. Maybe I'm, maybe I think too highly of computer programmers and some of these streamers. I don't know, but I feel like they're not going to want to be associated with doing it.

But I don't know. Maybe I'm, maybe I'm a naive child. We'll see HBO and Paramount just merged. Could be there. Oh, can't wait for Skydance. Sky dance! Yay! I love that! I'm dancing in the sky! But 764 is real. It's really hard. I think that if I was a parent, I know that we would live in almost Russian style where I would know every single thing that was on their phone. I would go through every one of the apps.

I would go through all of that stuff. It does teach them to hide better, but I also think you should make it really hard for them. I feel like we just have to make sure we create the no matter what you do, I feel like it's super important to remember to make sure the kid understands that this meat space is actually the primary existence. This thing, I think that what do you call it,

an elephant graveyard? He called it like regular reality or normal reality, whatever the thing is like this thing, this life that we're walking around is the primary reality. Yes. And we need to serve this reality. They're trying to manipulate everybody.

Of course. And so they're going for kids. They're going for, They're going for vulnerable adults. They're going for people who are suicidal. They're going for people with eating disorders. They're going with people because they're all. They're on desperation.

They're praying on this. And the 7-6-4 thing is this gigantic exploitation ring and blackmail ring. And it's very easy for kids to fall into it. It's just easy because it's like in Polter guys. We're like, they appear to her as another child. And they say things only a child can understand. They like, because there is something to that. say they're weaponizing against kids.

So I'm sorry, everybody. We all have to keep our heads on a swivel as a society. And it's going to get more complicated every fucking week. So just know that. So live every day, understanding the rules are shifting. Love the fact that the rules are shifting.

We're going to learn new rules and we're going to laugh our way to the bank when we smoke ourselves asleep every single night. We love you guys very much. Love you. I do. We love you. And nothing makes me realize I love you more than when we go do live shows. I'm not even joking. Like, going

to see you guys doing live shows, how cool was it, Rob, to see the crowd and have them fucking yell at yell at you? It was amazing. Something I'll never forget. You know, like them being able to do that, like, you know, we all dance to Oh my God. We played... Choos in Texas. Choosing Texas. There was some Epstein.

It was just fun. It was a lot of fun. I had such a good time. But you want to come see us? We're on the road. On October 24th, we're doing side stories again for the third year in a row at the Mateel Community Center in Redway, California. That's Humboldt. But this year, we're doing something different. Yes, there will be a costume contest. Yes, we are bringing prizes. But the thing that we're doing different is we are not

taking any money this year. We are giving it back to the Mateel Center and the Humboldt County Growers Alliance. We were going to help that county. We're going to help you guys keep growing your sweet, sweet, sweet weed. We love you so much. We love you. We want you to be able to be able to be Sweet Sweet Weed. So come on out and support the show. You'll be giving back to the community for this particular show. Oh, and sadly, big update. What?

Keefei D. 40 years to life. 40 years to life. Yep. That's it for him then. Yep, he's done. That's it. Well, you know, don't write a book about it.

Don't tell everybody about your crimes. Yes. The day after the show at Humboldt, I'm going to be at San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club. I'm going to be co-headlining with Billy Wayne Davis, hosted by Holden McNeely. It's going to be very interesting. Come check that out. Is he ever hosted before? I've had him host for me once before.

It's fine. It's an experience. Come check it out. It's going to be a blast. Our Portland main show on November 14th is sold out. Sorry about that. There are low tickets for the following day in Burlington. So come out to that.

There's a low ticket announcement for that. On December 3rd at the Ice House in Pasadena, Ed Larson and Friends, hosted by Henry's a Brayton. Yeah, baby. Come on out to that. That's going to be a blast. We got Pat Parker, who's our researcher here. Dude, he's fucking very funny, too.

That's an amazing comedian. That's how I know him. That's how I met him. So please come check that out. Billy Wayne Davis is on that as well. And the wonderful Carmen LaGala. Oh, wow. Carmen LaGala's going to be on this show.

Yeah, she's visiting. I was just talking to her. Oh, that's great. And also, truly, if you're in the L.A. area, and you've never been to the Ice House, It's a legendary I've never been No I'm really excited too I haven't either

It is a legendary club It's one of those fun things That you just like We're trying to remember Because like when we were in New York We went to the blue note And like we went to all these places Like old school flavor

And I just We gotta have it L.A Yeah We got to and just like I was yelling About the cheese steaks We gotta do it for our fucking selves dude God damn right So yeah

So that's something I'm gonna be doing I'll let you guys know But every other month I'm gonna do an Ed Larson and Friends somewhere in the city. So come check those out. Keep your ears peeled from them. Iowa City on December 11th.

Columbia, Missouri, December 12th. That's for side stories. The very next night, I'm going to the helium in St. Louis with my buddy Logan Mets. We're going to have a blast out there. That's going to be on December 13th. And then go to eddytunes.com to find out where else I'm going to be next year in 2027,

Nashville, Rochester, Albany. And of course, the wonderful crime wave at sea. Yes, come and join us on the waves. It is really good. Remember, you can get those tickets on way away. And that's actually, I feel like the payment plan is actually kind of nice. Yeah, well, we're getting close. So you better fucking hurry up.

We're getting close. Please come. Please. It's so much fun. It's basically sold out. There's like one or two of our tickets left. Yeah. So, yeah, come on with it.

We love you guys. We're going to have a blast. Every time I do a show on the road and I meet people, they're like, I'm going to the cruise. So it's going to be a fucking blast. So get your ass out there. All right. All right. All right.

All right. And you know I mean it. Yes, you do. Yes, you do. And hail this guy right here, man. Hey, Hail, Al J. Mitt. That is extremely fucking sad, man. He was extremely, extremely sad.

Truly talented. I also want to give a shout out to somebody that is actually, you know, because we've had the same manager for years, and we've been around her for a really long time, and she's somebody had known for a really long time. Grace Helbig just found out that her breast cancer that she had beat moved to her brain. Jesus.

And so she's going through. So if you can go and support her in any way, I just think that I saw that. And that was like one of those. She's like the sweetest person in the world. A really good person. A really genuinely good person. She's been nothing but kind.

And I don't know why she was ever nice to me. It is just. And so that was one of those that made me really fucking emotional. And also go check out Mindy Tucker's podcast in which she completely destroyed Eddie and I. Yeah. We're going to be on it separately. And she made us both cry. It was just not...

Maybe not on camera, but it happened to both of us. I legitimately don't even know if it's going to be entertaining or not. It is literally so soul. It was very soul. It was very deep soul-driven conversation. But she is the premier photographer of all comedy in New York City. She's the only person that knows our entire comedic history. Yeah.

Besides ourselves. Like, she was there for Murderfest Days. She was there for the Creek Day. She was there for the beginning of it all. She took pictures of the first ever roundtable live. It's like all these pictures that were extremely emotional to see and we go through them one by one. And so to really kind of hear a little bit of a window of kind of where we came from and, you know, the community that we were around. Go check it out.

Yeah. And we hired it. I'll post it when it's up. It's not up for, I think it's like next month or whatever. Yeah. And we hired her to shoot the Warsaw, the sold out Warsaw show. So look around for those pictures coming out. We'll post them.

Alright, guys. Bye.