Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Bigfoot Serves the Devil

Episode Date: July 26, 2018

Ben & Henry are back from Comic-Con so it's time to see if the combination of heat and booze has permanently warped their minds. Today's topics include: Bigfoot, Robert Fisher, and a house of mass hangings. Don't forget to live/laugh/love.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. Right above your gliss. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Do you feel like still kind of sick and hung over from Comic-Con? Yeah, yeah, San Diego, man.

I did not realize, uh, whoo, yeah, wonderful people, great drinkers. And then we just did a lot of that. You made them great drinkers, though. You brought a bunch of people to a bar and then we're like forcing beer on them. I didn't force beer on them. We had our beers. Do you know where I was? The bar was called Top Gun.

It was where they shot the final scene of the movie Top Gun, where the lady walks in, and then Tom Cruise looks her away, and then they like, that's how you know they're in love. So it was really, it was a bastion of love. Then Tom Cruise, doesn't the NSA, tell me if I'm wrong or not. Doesn't he make her hold a banana between her knees and say, just call yourself Bill?

I don't know about all that. This is Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben Kissel. There is Henry Zabrowski with a brand new, dare I say, Timothy McVeigh-esque brush cut. Nice haircut. That's interesting that you say that. You say this as if the majority of my hair is on the top of my head. But it is not.

What it is, is that it's just been shaved on the sides. I'm trying to slowly but surely get used to what my skull looks like. And what this will be. Because eventually I will be bald. And I can't be one of those motherfuckers that's somewhere in the tail end of having hair that has just like that poof on the front of it. So I look like Tin Tin.

I gotta say, I think it's kind of cute though. You got the little poof you're holding on. You're letting people know you once had hair. And I think it's kind of fun. This is, I talked with the woman cutting my hair, who is wonderful. And what she said to me was that the whole thing is to never show like you're pretending to have hair. Like don't hide that you're balding.

Sort of just like you have to sadly embrace it like my father does when I see him where he fathers, he embraces me even though he disagrees with my entire lifestyle. Well there it is. Yes, going back really quick. San Diego, the comic kind of adult swim shows were so great. We sold out the Balboa Theater.

And that was awesome. Everyone was so unbelievably nice. Man, we talked about this a little bit up top during the live show of Balboa Theater. The odor of that convention center after a couple of days, a lot of people sweating in suits. A lot of individuals who, you know, sweat and semen.

It was an interesting pungent smell. It definitely was a stiff pant like smell that came from men. I'm going to just go and blame the men because they only really bring one cosplay outfit. Even I think no more, so they bring multiples and they kind of change in and out. But like this dude, most of these guys

that got one, they rock the entire time. It just gets grungy real fast. And you're just pressed pubic mound to pubic mound in that convention center. You are an intimate space with these people. Really are, man. It was kind of horrifying. I do get overwhelmed a little bit, but what I do like is that it's honestly

a very friendly atmosphere. I see those specifically way more of an industrial con. When I went to C2E2 in Chicago, it's way more like traditional nerd festival. Well, I honestly don't know idea what these acrimonyms are. I know the comic con one, San Diego. What's CTD2? C2E2, which is the, that's a comic convention

and video games and nerd culture in Chicago. And also Dragon Con in Atlanta. If you ever have a fucking chance to go to Dragon Con in Atlanta, it's a nerd fuck fest. It is just nude, nude women writhing with the luckiest men, smiling, the costumes are great,

and it's really just about nerd culture and not about all the movie industry tie-ins like SDCC does. What are the dragons up to? They're just hanging out? We're going to start going to, Brooke and I are going to start going to rend fairs. So look out for that.

Why do you want to do this? I don't know. You're just going to change your lifestyle? That's a nude lifestyle, dude. No, I can go to a rend fair. I mean, it's just one, it's a weekend. I am saying, I will say, I was trying to buy a corset for Natalie.

That is a part of the rend fair lifestyle that you must embrace. Of course. It's nice because then you get to go corset shopping and I can just pick all whatever my grubby, nerdy hands wants to put on to Natalie for me to see. So that's fun, but you're going to be a troll there.

They're going to give you a big club and there's going to be a bunch of little fuckers dressed as knights trying to fell you. And how is that different? How is that different than my normal life? I'm going to fit in so well there. You know that you traveled around, traveled around with me for years,

just constantly people would be like, Big guy, huh? I finally had to make a stance. There was that one woman, I think there was the final contact. It was during the VIP meet and greet at the Balboa in San Diego where someone said something about how like, you're the biggest boy in the whole world.

And I was like, seriously, he's going to fucking throw himself off a building. Please stop talking about his size. I mean the sad thing is, if I do that, then I'm just going to land on my feet and I'll be just fine. That's a tall joke. No, we love you guys.

That meet and greet was so sweet. All right. Well, Henry, the first little tidbit, little story that I wanted to get to you, to you, basically this is for you, July 18th, three days before my date, three days before my day of birth. This was in China.

There was an eye witness. China. China, beautiful place. I've heard great place. Beautiful place. Absolutely incredible place. Tremendous place. Tremendous place.

Great place to have a trade war. In no way were we going to lose that. An eye witness caught a UFO over China last week. And if you want to see this, go to UFO sightings daily. And I just want to hear your perspective. This guy, Bob Laser, said the smaller craft he worked on in area S4 inside area 51 had three main engines that glowed at certain times.

Reminds me of the sighting over the Chinese airport years ago that shut down the airport. And it looks a lot like the UFO that was spotted, again, July 18th in China. So what are we looking at here? Because you saw the video. Kissel, Kissel. First of all, you've mentioned Bob Lazar,

who is a problematic figure in UFO culture. Oh, is he? Well, in terms of that, he's also weirdly religious. And there's many people like everybody in UFO culture. That is the one thing I will say. Being religious isn't problematic. I'm not saying religious. It's just the other side.

He's an esoteric man that has been lambasted for many sides of the argument, which I always love. Because there is no universally accepted figure in the UFO world. Sure. But first of all, it's Lazar. Why don't you just go to Laser? Laser is so much more fun than Lazar.

Lazar sounds like a lazy slug or something. Laser makes you sound like a female gladiator. Yeah. Who doesn't want to be? Yeah. No. You're a UFO investigator. Technically, you're trying to get people to say

that you're serious and that you want to be taken seriously. So you go by Lazar. I don't know if that's the case. If you're a UFO investigator because you want to be taken seriously, that kind of... Yeah, buddy. I'm not sure. Yeah, but...

Wait till I fucking make the shift. Wait till I can finally shuck off all this comedy bullshit and finally just leave the grid and be able to go after my true pursuits, which is what is the true root and nature of knowledge. Well, put on the cap. You saw the video. What were we looking at there?

It's very compelling. I looked at it. And honestly, the way he goes, bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep. Like if you see it, it is pretty big thick orbs, big thick orbs in the sky. And they do... Thick orbs in the sky.

They definitely go blink, blink, which is cool and not like in a rhythmic blink, blink. Like it wasn't like airplane lights. It was like a blink. Bloop. Blink. Which I think is interesting. And it does pop in and out of clouds.

You see it dematerialized. Whatever you want to say about it, it's probably some form of plasma. I would say, again, it's a really good example of M&M technology. It's a fairy light, as you would probably call it from back in the day. But that's spelled F-A-E-R-I-E. Fairy light.

So it's something that's very interesting. It's a very common orb. But I will say, very compelling, good footage. Then Chinese cameras, man. Great stuff. Great stuff. All right. So we do have a recent UFO sighting.

Yes. And I do want to also bring up my friend, Ellie from Oregon, sent me this very fun story about kind of a mixture of that. There was a radio program called American Family Radio hosted by Jeanette Mefford and a guy named Tim Daly. And then it's like, I guess he's from the Family Research Council. Oh, these are the...

When he's his Family Research Council, it means he's researching his children with his cock, right? Is that what that means? Honestly, man, that's a blue joke. But you know what? Anything goes. That's Tony Perkins, these really far right-wing evangelicals. They're all a part of it.

Oh, they're nuts, man. I grew up with all these people. And they're parenting techniques that my parents adapted or adopted, rather, not necessarily the best. No, I don't think so, man. No. What he definitely said was that Bigfoot and alien sightings are a part of the devil's plan

in order to destabilize our view of a godly life that we sit and that we watch Bigfoot. But Bigfoot isn't fake. It's sent here by the devil for us to see it so that the more big feet, big foots we see, right, the more we're willing and apt to listen and be persuaded by the devilry of demons. So there's no, this is what's so fascinating

about really far right religious people and then really far witchcraft people. There is a Venn diagram where they just believe in all of the things that are perhaps what some might consider to be make-believe. He's what I'm saying. But they just believe the same thing. They should just get together and be friends.

He's legitimately saying what I believe that Bigfoot is an ultra-terrestrial. That it is like a form of energy creature. And it's interesting that he says that, but it's this idea of like, and I like, it's just, man, rhetoric is interesting because you look at it and it's the whole opposite side of the argument because he says, oh, it will destabilize a religious life.

I can't believe the devil uses it as his tools and he says that's bad. But I'm immediately like, awesome, good. So it's kind of funny how two different worlds, like if I saw Tim Daly, I probably, we'd probably have to strangle each other. Like we would probably have to attack each other right after he tried to fucking kiss me.

And I let him kiss me. You can show him how good I am at kissing him and then he'll start crying and shit and be like, you need to leave your family. You need to go to Williamsburg. You need to go to West Hollywood. You need to live your lifestyle. You know what I mean?

And I'll do that for him. I will break him of that. I'll pat his bottom and I'll say how cute he is and how nice he is just so that he opens up so he flowers. Well, I think you'll like that kind of Mikhail's navy haircut of yours. It'll make him feel all masculine and tough.

What are you talking about? This is the tough. I look very tough. No, I know. I'm not. The closer you get to it, you could see my stress vein. Oh, honestly. You see my stress vein?

It is pulsating. It's like the intestines of the dude in the movie Annihilation when they're just like roaming all around his chest. But unfortunately, that's near your temple and it might end up being the shotgun blast to your head. Whatever it's got to be, man. Whatever ends it. You know, that is so funny.

So that means this family research radio or whatever. I guarantee you there are hundreds of thousands of parents who sat their children down that evening and they just regurgitate what they hear on these conservative Christian radio shows or in their books. Absolutely. And I'm sure they just were like, you know, bigfoot.

Bigfoot's real, okay? And it's sent here from the devil. So first of all, they have to be like, whoa, what the fuck? And then, oh man, my whole childhood was just like, what are you even talking about? What is happening? But that's why we became the way we became. It's the same thing.

It's like severely Catholic, you know, wanted to be a priest when I was growing up. There's a part of you that I think that when you have been forced to digest that the devil is real and not only is he real, physically real, like he could show up, is that his commandant is bigfoot and that he could send it out. Like he could say like, there's something about it.

It gives you an extra dimension to life. They don't understand that them creating the, them physicalizing the devil as like the real sauron or Thanos to use the new martial, Marvel universe to help our younger people to understand is that when you use the thing, when you create him as Thanos, that then he does exist.

And they are actually helping people like me who are trying to constantly subvert the things that they believe. Now, isn't there another contingency of thought out there when it comes to bigfoot as if he is like a spiritual entity, like a good spirit and stuff like that? Aren't there some who believe that? Oh yeah, they call him the wise man of the mountain.

He's also, they mostly, I believe Sasquatch. I'm actually not sure. I don't know. Can you actually find out, titties, do we know is Sasquatch, I believe it means man of the mountain. Of course Travis is with us as well as always, our main man here.

Ah yes, the British Columbia, the name of the creature by a salishon variant, meaning the benign face one. Oh, interesting. Yeah, like Harry and the Andersons, you could believe in that face. Great, oh my God, don't even get me going. What's the name of the lead actor on that?

Charles Groden. Now that guy, Charles Groden. Was he Charles Groden in the lead of Harry and the Andersons? Wasn't Charles Groden? He was involved in some movie involving a Sasquatch. I swear to God. Was it Charles Groden? No, you're thinking of Beethoven. Oh, that's a big dog.

That's a big dog. That dog was so awesome. John Lithgow. John Lithgow. Of course. Do you remember that audio from way back in the day where this construction site, I don't know where they were, but they drilled and drilled and drilled and drilled

and drilled, probably doing some early form of fracking or trying to find some oil or something, and then they started to hear the sounds of hell, supposedly. Oh yeah, I remember that thing. Was it like a Siberia or some shit? That audio was played in my church when we were growing up as definitive proof of hell and all this stuff.

Again, I just, you're screaming, but like what the hell is going on? No, it makes you look how much you like Pantera now. I've always liked Pantera. That's what I'm saying. They're cowboys from hell, although I don't know how you keep your hat from not burning. That is a cute observation.

I don't know how. I think it's because they are too made of basalt, as I would say, is that the name of their hat, so it would mean out of brimstone, which is also funny because their hat has a brim. Isn't it, Kissel? It is funny. It is funny.

I just feel like it's just very evident of who we are now as people. We've grown very accustomed to the supernatural and to the idea of evil being real, and it just so happens that if you sell me real hard on evil being real, eventually I'm going to find it sexy, and then as a boy,

jerking off thinking about all the goth girls that wouldn't even look at me, because I had my weird fucking cargo shorts on, or whatever shirt that fit from Walmart. Oh, nice. And then it makes you move towards your goals. The Walmart American collection, wonderful stuff. Speaking of Pantera, as we've said before,

R.F.P. Vinny, he is now deceased, and then, of course, Dimebag, and I got to say this, and this is what I said after that death when we were at the Rainbow Room, should have been Phil, because Phil is the one who basically killed Dimebag Darrell, because he told his audience to go beat him up,

and then his audience is so extreme, they think that that means shoot him in the face with a shotgun. But, unfortunately, I will put the sort of games of thrones in, like, fantasy rules in there, or if Dimebag Darrell wanted to live, what he'd have to do is

he'd have to properly defend himself, which means carrying a gun with him at all times on stage. He's playing the frickin' guitar! Yeah, but if he was like, a gun guitar? Whoa! That would be fun, I mean.

Think about that! Or you have more... Then what if it goes off when you're, you know, when you're pretending that the guitar is an extension of your penis and you're pointing it towards it, and then you kill the whole front row?

That's what you get, man. That's what you get for fucking sitting in front row, man. Those guys would have died being like, that's the most metal concert I've ever been to. If I got shot by fucking, you know, Lars Ulrich's drums, then what would happen?

Everybody would be very excited. He would actually probably increase sales. Yeah, he'd probably find a way to sue you for it. All right, well... Goddamn fucking bitch! Man, I watched some kind of monster again. I know why I did it. I was cooking in a house,

and I just wanted to revisit it. And this is what I'll say, okay? Listen, every group of content creators have problems, and they have personal issues, and they have to work it out. We're still people. Like, yes, James Hetfield does mow his lawn.

He does have his life. Billy Corrigan is not a human goblin. He has a wrestling company. It's like, you know what I mean? I love that wrestling side to Billy Corrigan. He's so funny. That was the one... He did a very funny interview

on Joe Rogan. It was very funny. And, you know, he was on the cover of Cat Fancy and all that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. But it's like, you know, if you're metal gods, if you're James Hetfield, you're Metallica,

you're a metal fucking to the extreme, there is just no reason to pop that bubble and allow me to see the petulant boy fighting that they had to do with their therapist and shit. No. It's bad for them. And it's not some kind of monster.

It is like some kind of like weak mid-40s males. I don't understand. I thought it was going to be a metal documentary. No. And I really was going in super jazzed and then it turned into a therapy session. Like, it was a horrible reality show on MTV or The Surreal Life or something on VH1.

And I was... Even The Surreal Life. Honestly, it kind of hurt me forever. Yes, it does hurt you forever. But The Surreal Life, at least, is trumped up. With Metallica, you see more of their truly sad side and actually how hard it is to go into relationship maintenance. And it's the thing that people actually should think about

in terms of when you get married and all that kind of shit. It's like, if you're going to go into couples therapy, know that it's not the sexiest, funnest thing that's ever been. Yeah, no one's ever there for good reasons. You know, it's ever great times that has people going into couples therapy. But if you need help, go out there and get that help. Sometimes I ought to think it's good to maybe do it

and you don't need it so you can check in. Huh. All right. Well, this is another story. This one comes to us from Deli. Now, this story is absolutely insane. It's very intense. It's a little bit older.

Yeah, it's way intense. It's from July 2nd. And I actually had texted Henry the footage. There's footage of what happened here on Live Leak. This article says it's a scene out of a horror movie. The bodies of 11 members of a Deli family, 10 of them hanging from an iron mesh in the ceiling inside one room were found at a residence

and the body of a 77-year-old woman was lying on the floor in another room of the house. Now, there was no forced entry whatsoever and they were found by milkman, milkman here. Yeah, he found a milkman, which is like a milkman's either dream or nightmare. It's like some milkman, I think, would be like, because mostly what you hope is a milkman

is you can kind of see, like, the lady of the house and her panties while you're looking through the window. I don't know if that's true. I honestly think it's very true. But then the worst option is seeing a dead naked woman. Yeah, I think that was the 1950s. The milkman. Very nefarious time, the 50s.

Well, according to the Deli who stood Hindustan Times, it was the milk container delivery man. The milk container, okay. I don't know what that means. I don't know either. I hope it's filled with milk and not just they drop off empty milk containers every morning because that's just kind of a really cruel joke.

Very sad. Do you remember what milk was like? That's all it is. It used to be held in these here containers. So the cops think this might have been a spiritual thing. This article calls it a Godman, which I believe is just a spiritual guru. And there is some suspicion that they were attempting

to seek or attain salvation. And there's really no definitive evidence of this, but a couple of notes and the last handwritten note read, using a stool and keeping the hands, eyes, and mouth tied up will help attain salvation. And I have no idea what would drive these people to do this. But evidently, this is a mass suicide and I've never heard of anything really like this.

And I don't really know how they were able to even pull it off. Did the 77-year-old woman, is she the one who removed all the stools? Because they did have their hands tied up. I believe their eyes were blinded. Did she do that? I will say, it's already really difficult to get your family all on the same page.

I don't imagine what it would be like to get them all to commit suicide. I mean like fingers crossed. But a part of it's like, it seems like she orchestrated it. They had a plan. They wanted it to be... But at the same time, it wasn't really planned because they had events they had scheduled for the day. They had dry cleaning to pick up and they had weird shit.

They were not found until the milk containers were left out for days and they wanted to go looking at them. The thing that maybe the lead woman may have poisoned herself and then hung herself, which is very, very interesting. I wonder what it means. I'm really hoping this is not some ant man in the wasp tie-in. Because sometimes they'll do stuff like this. This could be.

We have to check to see whether or not their sneakers had Paul Rudd's face on them. Because if that's true, that would be how innovative. It's disrupting the media. Well, according to this researcher, he said, during the search of the house, certain handwritten notes had been found which point towards observance of some definitive, spiritual and mystical practices by the whole family. These notes have strong similarity with the manner in which the mouths,

eyes of the deceased were tied and taped. This is being investigated further to establish their links with the death. I mean, the youngest two were 15 years old. The oldest one, 77. It's just an entire family. And you're right, man. I mean, I can't get my... We can't even agree on what restaurant to go to in my family.

We can't decide whether to go to Red Blop, Sir, or Olive Garden. I can't imagine getting the two 15-year-olds to commit suicide unless you just bore them to death with stories from the old days when the milk used to have containers in them. Or the containers used to have milk in them. What I would say... This is very sad, though. Yeah, obviously, it's very sad, Kissel. You disgust me.

You even would joke about this. But second of all, I would look at the... What I actually feel really bad for is the kids, because a lot of times, it's like what you see with kids in cults is that they don't know. And they are kind of raised in extreme religious belief, and they have no way of breaking the thought pattern and thinking on the outside of it, like thinking about what it would be like to not kill yourself with your grandmother.

I guess if you're 15 and you've been hearing this your whole life, I suppose you go along with it, just quickly to clarify, the milk supplier left the crate outside, a neighbor then found it, and then the neighbor was like, I'm gonna help out this family. And then he is the one that saw the family members hanging. And I gotta say, what's that reaction gotta be like?

I think you just... You gotta drop the milk number one. Yeah, I mean, obviously, yeah, you're dropping milk. You have to. Which is... That's very fucked up. I mean, that's a... I imagine the word would be shocked. I think that that's very true.

I think you'd look in there and be like, well, I mean, obviously, very haunting sight as well, is that you walk in, you see 11 people hanging from the ceiling. I wouldn't really enjoy, like, doing a podcast afterwards. Like, I mean, maybe I would, maybe I'd get it out, maybe it's good to start with it, but it's a hard, cold open to be like, hey guys, yeah, welcome to the last podcast I've left,

uh, saw 11 bodies hanging from the ceiling. Anyway, uh... You know, I mean, like, it's very difficult to start a day with it, but it's obviously a very mysterious case, so I wonder if things come out as things go with it. Oh, and speaking of mysterious cases, the sarcophagus was opened up, the dark sarcophagus that was found.

For a while, what they thought it was gonna be, for a second, they found this, like, unclaimed sarcophagus. I'm gonna jump from this, and they thought that it was gonna be, um, possibly that it could have been Alexander the Great. They were just coming up with shit of what could be in this sarcophagus, so they were gonna pry it open, and of course everyone's like,

don't pry it open, because it's fucking, that's literally the plot of the classic universal horror, The Mummy, which is a fine thing. Of course, Brendan Fraser, yeah. And then, um, yes. But what a difference in, like, what's your idea of a man? Brendan Fraser? Oh, no, the rock. It was, uh, quite a difference in casting there.

And I, you know, I'm a Brendan Fraser guy. Honestly, he was great. He was great. And at the time, he was very handsome, and he did a very good job in that film, being a doughy-eyed boy. Yes. Surprised by Mummies. Who would be?

But they opened it up, and it was just three skeletons and a bunch of red juice that just turned out to be leexceptic water. Oh, man, I shouldn't have drunk that. Honestly, there was a petition. I joined it as well. I joined the call on Twitter because there was a petition. Someone did a change.org thing that said, like,

let the people drink the red juice. Oh, no. And it had, like, 150,000 signers on it, which is, like, more than any political change.org petition I've ever seen. Yeah, I believe it or not, sometimes the masses that are collected on social media might not have the best intentions in mind.

There's something about mysteries. I ended up spending a long time on Reddit and solved mysteries this week. I get into it because there's some kind of distraction. I've deleted Twitter off my phone. So now what I do is, in that missing time where I would normally check Twitter, I've been reading about the Deli story.

I've been reading about the sarcophagus story. And then I've been reading about another story that's about a man named Robert Fisher. And there's a really good Amazon doc on him right now. In 2001, a house in Arizona, I believe it was Scottsdale, Arizona, exploded. And when they went down and they went and excavated it, they were like, well, obviously this is arson

because someone just pulled the natural gas line. They found out it belonged to the Fisher family. Robert Fisher was missing. And the two kids and the wife were both inside. And they had been, their bodies were found, barely recognizable, burned from the explosion. But it turns out their throats had been slit and the mother's and the wife's head had a bullet in it.

And then he blew up the house. And then the dude fucking disappeared. And is he still on the run today? Well, there is a lot of theories. There was a lot of people that if he was an avid back, like Hunter, it's a really interesting story. And you should look up Robert Fisher and watch the Amazon doc. Because the one on the Amazon Prime is really fucking good.

And it's very, it's just kind of spooky because it's about like this guy goes and he's kind of an asshole. And he's an outdoorsman. And he kind of fancies himself a survivalist. And it seems like maybe he took his wife's car and the family dog because he said he loved the dog more than the family.

He drove it out like 10, they found the car 10 miles later with the dog still underneath it, which is the saddest thing in the world. Oh, he killed the dog. No, no, he trained the dog so well that he said stay to the dog and it stayed at the car for 10 days. Maybe it ate food. The guy does it, but it was alive when they found it.

And then he disappeared. And there's a lot of people think that maybe he went, which I do agree. Basically, yada, yada, yada. It seems like they were a very religious family. Oh, okay. And he was caught getting a jerky, getting a fucking happy ending in a jerk check

after a massage and his wife flipped out, right? And so she threatened to divorce him and he wasn't having it. And finally they kind of fixed shit a little bit, but they had a kind of a contentious side, totally fine marriage on the outside, one of those bullshits. Right.

Things that maybe she found out that he was squirt in another girk and while she was like, while they were back together after he had kind of fixed shit up and she threatened to divorce him. And then after his weird ego and the idea of being divorced as being like a smirch on his Christianity is that instead he just killed the family and blew up the house.

Oh yeah, that's going to save his reputation as a good Christian. That's the perfect way to do it. Well, interestingly enough, going back to that deli story, they found the dog, I believe, alive as well. So I mean, as far as dog life goes, not horrible stuff. Good news. Yeah, two for dog, zero for humans.

Yeah, we're trying to find. And this was 15 years ago already. Yes, this was in 2001 and there's some recent sightings of him because the cold case got reopened in 2017. There's a lot of stories about, I just ended up in that world and I love Unsolved Mysteries because it's my, I love disappearances and shit like that because it gets you good and scared.

Yeah, I'm looking at a picture of his family. Now that's obviously extremely sad. Number one, we all know that. But how the hell do you actually get off the grid? That's you. You have to. You think he's just dead? I think he just committed suicide.

You think so? That's my theory is that he committed suicide and he's somewhere in one of the caves. He said basically they found his car abandoned near the mouths of like these several caves, which is this area that he used to go hunting all the time. And so they wonder whether or not he'd literally just climb down in there and shot himself in the head.

Yeah, that's totally crazy. It's a crazy story. And then it's like just one of those you watched was like, holy shit, it's kind of similar. I would put it in the world of Killdozer where like, Oh yeah. It's just something scary. I mean, I get it, man.

These determined white men creating massive mayhem because they just do it. They just have a confidence to do whatever the fuck it is. He's fucked up. He does have he's got those. Yeah, he does. He definitely has those eyes. He has Adam Land's eyes.

Yeah, I can. You can see that and you get the feeling he does want to have the perfect family. They got their little Sears portrait picture here. Yes, it all has to be completely perfect. The lies. He was shown to be a control freak. I believe that the FBI is still operating as if he is alive.

And he is still on their most wanted list, which is. Yes. So hopefully, I mean, maybe get some closure for the relatives if they can find the body. Man, you should see the aged version of his pictures that are pretty great. Oh yeah, look at it. They're pretty funny.

I will say they treat them. They treat them pretty well. I guess so. They do throw a goatee on them so you can see which is not really. I do love that. I love the goatee. I'm on the run goatee. I'm on the land, better going to goatee.

That military grade buzz cut is also very disconcerting on a father. Oh yeah, absolutely. You got to be a little kinder looking, you know? Do you? I guess it's like, my goal is to honestly, as I grow older, I want to look more extreme. Well, I know that's your goal and you're going to go out in the middle of nowhere.

So no one's even going to see you. No, but I'm going to get jacked. I'm going to get jacked. I'm going to get a head tattoo. You're going to get a head tattoo. Yeah, man. Like Mike Tyson. I'm going to get a tattoo that just says,

UFOs land here at the very top of my head. I'm just going to start to match it, man. Well, that's good. Yeah, I'm excited. As long as you don't get it tattooed on your tongue, I think. What if... Scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch. Oh, thank you.

Disgusting. This is some kind of Bugaki party. Oh. I will, I decline. I decline the invite to the Bugaki party. I also, you also got to start getting that hat. You ever seen the hair tattoos? Yes.

Yes, I have. I think it doesn't post Malone have one of those. Yeah, I don't know that. I don't know. I know he has the face tattoos that say, I guess always tired. Yeah. Why?

What is happening now? And now I'm old, right? Yes. So I have to say, what's happening now? What's happening now? It's the Cloud Rappers. I've been telling you about Cloud Rappers since fucking Biggie and Tupac. But then, but it's, you know, it's so permanent.

It's very permanent. Cloud Rappers love to not articulate their thoughts. They love lean and they love big shirts with big wide neck holes. Huh. That's what they like. And they like rapping. They like ribbity rapping on the internet. But you know, like, remember when like ICP, they were like, they were extreme,

but that's, that's makeup. And they just wiped that right off. And then they can like go to the supermarket. No one's going to know if it's a, you know, crazy, crazy J or something. People thought kiss was evil. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's shit like that.

But then Gene Simmons is just, you know, he's just a multi-multi-millionaire businessman. Yeah. They thought they were, they thought kiss was like going to end the world. They thought ACDC was the most evil satanic group in the world. And really it was just about hot women with big thighs and drinking a lot of beer and then talk about how hard it was on the road because they weren't great enough to think of songs outside of the things that they knew. And a part of it was like, they made me feel good.

ACDC is still my favorite workout music on the face of the planet. You know, I mean, honestly, ACDC was, I guess, in a strange way, given a bonus by that psychopath. Richard Ramirez. Yes, it definitely made them appear to be more evil. Yes. Angus Young. Yeah. They're all very tiny, but a lot of kicks and stuff like that.

That's what I like about it. I remember my speaking of church, going back to that, we also did have a full, oh, Malcolm Young is dead. Man, I forgot. I forget all these people that die. We did a whole night in Satan's service spiel for our, in our little group because we had a cool pastor. So he knew about kiss, but he also knew that Satan was speaking through East Freely's cat

mask. Now you're going to want to look at this picture of kiss here because you know what it's about, the cat man himself, his light movements, his tender knees, his swift little buttocks and the way his chest is purred. You know he's trying to make you gay. You're looking up here, Gene Simmons' long tongue. You sit and you wonder what it's going to be like wrapped around your dingus down there making you gay.

Honestly, man, I would laugh, but that is pretty accurate. It's just, and I'm like, why is everything making you gay? Like, I think this is a personal problem for you. No, no, no, no. You look at Gene Simmons' tender ankles. You're wondering what those ankles would be like in your hands up above your forehead as you're plunging him deep and down in his ass pussy. I meant his, he's making you gay.

He's making you gay. Nights in Satan's service, but everyone forgets that song God gave rock and roll to us, which is basically a Christian melody. Yes, that's about God gave us rock and roll and we're supposed to like it because God gave it to us. It's very, same thing with Iron Maiden, it's all about defeating the devil. They always talk about the devil as bad, but it's like, which is still awesome because the number of the beast fucking rocks entire fucking album killer shit, but I like about

all those guys that they're super small because that's what rock and roll used to be for. But I don't like now as all these guys are good looking. That's the only thing I almost like about these cloud rappers is because the fact they're all gross. I like the fact that they're using music to equalize their lifestyle. You're supposed to be small and ugly or fat and weird or tall and long and you're supposed to use your skills to get laid. Well, hey man, I'm all, I am not against them.

It's not my personal cup of tea, but you know what? That's fine because everyone has to have a different beverage. That's what I always say. And I just want to make sure they're happy. That's the first time I've heard you say it. That's the first time I've heard you say it. No, I know. That's coin it.

Coin it. But you know, I just, I just wonder how they're going to feel about those face tattoos. That's all. I think they're not going to make it to the age where they are going to think about it. You know what I mean? I think their goal is to not make it. I see. I see.

It's not cool for them to die. But I tell you what, I feel like it's not cool to die. That's right. And if you're out there, it's not cool to die. So you stay alive. You stay alive. You keep on. You keep on.

Unless you're keeping on. I guess unless you're Terry Shivo and you're locked in your body. Then it should be cool to die. Oh my God. Well, I don't even want to get into all that because I was just. Why? Is that a hot button issue? Well, no, it makes me so sad because there's this documentary called Gleason all about this

guy who was a, he was a New Orleans saint. And then he got a block kick return for a touchdown and the saints ended up winning the Super Bowl. And that was the way they started their season. He got a Lou Gehrig's disease. And then he got the surgery where he got to stay alive. But then you're just like the guy in Big Lebowski bulk of the series. Love your work, sir. You're basically in an iron lung.

Oh my God. But you can't do anything, but your brain is still active. And then that is like that's the speaking of Metallica. That's what that one song reminds me of. It also reminds me of the fucking, what's it? The Mr. Show sketch with the kid who jumped into the Vada acid because the songs were telling him to kill himself. And then the second song was like, finished job, finished job, head first this time.

I feel like there is some medical advancement. So they're coming up there actually are working on a head transplant surgery. Yes, I saw that. I saw that. I would put it on. What do you put it on? What are you going to put it on? What are you going to put it on?

Dog. What? I want to put it on a dog. That's weird. Everyone loves dogs. I want to put mine on a hot ladies body. Yeah, but then that's just going to leave. Well, why do you?

All right. You know what? That's fine. Just to try it. Just to try it just for a little while. Play with my own boobies. See what that power is like. I don't know, man.

I'm not sure how all that's going to work. No, yeah. I would point at people and just be like, you're disrespecting me and pull out my boobies and slap them around a bunch and then play with my bean in front of a bunch of people. Huh. All right. Well, interesting. Interesting take on the lives of a woman.

I don't know the life of a woman. No, no idea. No idea. I don't know. All right, everyone. I think those are those are just some fun stories. Yeah, dude. This is what this show is.

Stories. That's what it's all about. What I do think is cool is people to also go and do your own research on this kind of shit. It's like, I like this is kind of like our flavor of like, we'll bring up stuff. And if you want to like do a deep dive on some of these stories, there's a fuck ton of them and totally sending us ideas for stuff to talk about. Yes.

And the last podcast network at gmail.com, if you do do a deep dive on any of these stories, I mean, not too many pages, but if you want to run a good one page synapsis on something, I'd be more than happy to use that on the show and obviously give you some credit for it because that sounds like a lot of fun. Yeah. We'll take your free work. We'll take your free ass work, but we will make it fun about it and it'll be, it'll be cool.

We'll have fun with it. It'll be great. All right, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. Henry loves you and Dr. Fantasty. Those are his social meds. My social meds. Yes.

Then kissle one. I love that Instagram, man. I've really enjoyed the insta stories. I love insta stories. Yes, because then you get to see people's faces and then they, they have to be mildly nicer because they're not anonymous and I really liked that. Yes. But also it's like, it's still technically owned by fucking Facebook and I wish that

it would all stop. When's the solar flare going to come, man? Yeah, man. I've been fantasizing. When's it going to fucking come? I want it to be wiped out. I don't know. I want technology to be wiped out just so that people have to deal with it for a second.

You know, just like a little bit, which is why I'm converting whatever money I have into precious metals and stones. And I mean, I put them all in like gilded things around my house and I know that I can melt them down. Yeah. Well, that's what I was thinking. You know what Jack should do? The owner of the Twitter, Saturday, Sunday, take a day off, end it, just give, like, let

people like break out and then they'll be like, oh, hello, family. How are you? Oh my God. I haven't seen you in so long because I think that would be very healthy for everyone. Just every now and again. All he knows, they got us programmed like a bunch of fucking rats in a maze and they're using it for, they're using it for, they're fully to their advantage every fucking second of the day.

And unfortunately, MoviePass is also another gigantic data grab where they're finding out a bunch of stuff. But technically, MoviePass is kind of worth it. Well, 10 bucks a month, you can go see any movies you want. That is kind of worth it. But they're learning about you and your habits and that's the goal is to figure out more ways to control you. Yeah.

I have a feeling that both of us would just be categorized as like lonely nerds and be like, no, we're not even that lonely. I just, I have to see the Mr. Rogers doc. I have to see the first purge. I also really like saw. I don't know what I'll do. Oh, fuck. You know, I also forgot to bring up which now we got to talk about the next fucking episode

is liquid water. A whole lake, 12 miles of water was found on Mars. Yes. I saw that. They have a whole fucking what Lake we're got. We're going to fucking Mars, man. We're going to Mars. I want to call, I would love to go to Mars.

I want us to be the first podcast on Mars. I love that. The first podcast on Mars. I love it. It's probably going to be something like Neil deGrasse Tyson's bullshit. But I want to skip him on the line. Yes. We have to just want to shoot up there.

I'm just going to like, I'm a janitor here. I got to do a quick clean before this space shuttle takes off and I'll stay on it in a very large closet. Yeah. And then halfway through the flight, I'll be like, Oh, it took off and you got to get your zoom. You got to sneak the zoom on there. Yeah.

So you can record yourself going like, Whoa, Mars is whoa. Well, I think they're going to do a mission to Mars, but then there's no return date, which I'm also, Oh man, if you're going to do it, this is the time to do it. Yeah, buddy. I think about it sometimes, except I love my family too much. Well, you have to bring everyone with you. I mean, Wendy, but with a set apparently space, I would do any space. Oh, so cute.

She died so fast. It would kill her guts, but she would be so cute. But also you technically not allowed to have sex a part of that suicide mission. That's a part of what they're saying is that you're not supposed to make any love. And I don't think I can keep my hands off of Natalie. Well, I think they don't want anyone, anyone to have the children because then that'll make things even more complicated and they don't got enough room for a daycare right now.

So that's why I'm a little bit trickier. That's why I keep smoking that weed, make my sperm all slow. All right, everyone. Thank you all so much for listening. We love you. Hail yourselves. And make sure if you're going to do one thing today, just live and then laugh about it and then love that you're laughing.

Oh, that's actually nice. Right? If you walk it through, it's nicer than just saying live, laugh, love. Right, right, right. Talk to you soon. Oh, that's nice.