Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Butthole Bomb Squad

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime stories: a woman breastfeeds a cat on a plane, a Love Has Won update, a man inserts a WW2-era munition up his butt, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories That's when the cannibalism started It's me Bob Dole ouch, I'm in hell. I finally died ouch ouch. Is it worse than World War two Bob? No World War two was still harder for Bob Dole when Bob Dole did what Bob Dole has seen the murders that Bob Dole Personally committed in the war and afterwards sure look at this hand Bob Dole's hand can only write in pencil and now I'm dead. I can't believe Bob Dole finally died He finally died 98 years young I'm not even anti Bob Dole. I'm neutral on Bob Dole

I had to go look at back up like I looked it up to try to see it was like well What evils did he do and it was back before like the Republicans were just more so like Bob Dole like it was just a man saying his name over and over again. That's as far as I could get I know that he probably did something fucked up Well, he and Strom Thurman probably had some pretty interesting conversations But anyway welcome to side stories everyone. I am Ben hanging out with the morning Henry Zabrowski because I know it's been hard for you It's been hard. Where else would I look to he was my moral compass Bob I was thinking about what would invalid Bob Dole do every day when I wake up like oh, what would cancer ridden?

Bob Dole hasn't had a full solid thought in his In his fucking dome since in probably 10 years probably 10 maybe even 20 years Yeah, at some point in life Don't you just want to move on to the other side and that's the goal though is to live long enough where death is just a Wonderful respite that it was intended to be. Oh, yeah, man, because I am not one who is going to go gently Into that good. No, I know that I'm gonna scream I think that my lot my death is gonna be unpleasant forever Who's left around sure a lot of being like that's me. I was lied to I was lied to a lot of that of being like

Give me the secrets of the government and everyone's gonna be like you can't have those No, it would be fun because when you're like 80 years old because you are by on camera Perhaps look a little bit larger and stature, but in reality, you're fairly petite Yeah, I'm super old you get more and more petite. I don't want to get more petite You're going to know this fun 80 year old like in a big jacket is Randomly screaming. It's gonna be a great look on you. I want to stretch out my back That's why I do all like the back stretches because I don't want to get the hunch My father went from five foot seven to at least five foot three and it's I guess it's fine by time

You're that age because Natalie will stay her height and so like I think that she Well, I'll stretch it hot until she's dead and every time I see her from now on. I'll stretch you out a little bit Yeah, come on. Yeah, that'll be nice. Yeah, it's great. Well. I'm happy We got to mention Bob Dole on this show because I totally forgot to mention him on top Well speaking of death, we do have one small update on this alleged cult leader This is Leah Amy Carlson All of her followers were arrested because they were like what happened to this frickin woman, you know But they didn't know what to do. They found her body. Yeah, no, and we did a little bit of a relax fit on her

We talked about her death and where she ended up She was basically she'd got turned into a potpourri bundle by the end of her life She I like how they look like she looked like what is it quick sliver? What's the name of that silver surfer? She looked like the silver because of all the cool colloidal silver that she consumed I've only the silver surfer only if only this if the silver surfer only surfed on couches That's what I would say she look like but what I like is that this home page of the daily pieces article I'm looking at first of all, they call it a new age sect, which means they've been approached by lawyers So that's for the love is one. Yes for the love is one cult

So that she was found right she was in a green sleeping bag and her eyes were missing which we still don't even know why her eyes Were missing that's what they said now. They said that it was not trauma induced Don't the eyes melt away. Is it what's the first thing and side stories LP otl at gmail.com? What's the first thing to melt away? I would assume that the eyes are like well, you're dead I don't need to be here anymore. I think they would puddle fairly quickly But I think that takes like a fucking minute. She wasn't dead that long I think you're talking like mummies like real mummies I don't know how long she was dead because they found her body

They arrested the people that had the body because and then again, they turned it a little bit into what John win Gacy yeah, he's his way his tactic of saying like you're you're just mad because I'm running a cemetery without a license Because they don't know what to charge them with and they find out that guess what she died of alcoholism Yeah, she died of alcoholism and anorexia and again a massive love of colloidal silver Yeah, she was 75 pounds. There was some fucked up. They put glitter makeup all over her eyeless skull, right? Which is they still don't know and they said they said Russell simply remarked on the body's missing eyes. They were not Appreciated secondary to comp decomposition, but I don't know what that means. I think I know I think that means they did not

Melt away like you said and but it showed no evidence of trauma like they didn't see the Mellon baller marks That would pop them out. Yeah, they didn't get a sherbert scoop there No, but she had two pairs of socks and she had a gold-colored handband cute and then She wore gray cotton pants with a quote-unquote diaper containing red purge type fluid Not good Red purge type fluid. I don't know. Anyway, Carlson aka the mother god She said she was the reincarnation of Jonah Ark and Marilyn Monroe, which let's just say she really took some she took a couple of

What's the term? I'm Liberties Liberties with who she was re reincarnated as oh, yes And Marilyn Monroe and this is really got it. You got to be intense for this kind of shit She drank ten shots of vodka night apparently and then she's 75 pounds. That's a lot I mean for you and I we can probably do it. Yeah, I try not to do it a night. I could do it one night a Month and then recover for two weeks, but this fucking she apparently she had 470 micrograms more than six times the daily average intake from the environment of colloidal silver in her body Which is why she also was permanently silver. Yeah, which is it's a lot man I feel like the alcohol was the least devastating thing to her body

It's I think maybe the lack of food and eating all that colloidal silver, but you know what Henry it didn't help also here Another update here from Apparently you shouldn't be drinking cactus water for survival unlike what I said to all of our listeners to do Last week Episode what's wrong with the cactus water it severely dehydrates you and it does the exact opposite of what I said it does It does not hydrate you on they say don't do it. Oh, apparently you should go to her Crick You really can't because in cowboy movies, which is what I learned that from sure was various media I think I learned it from Looney Tunes. Did you cut open their cactus?

Did you drink the water inside of it? Yeah, apparently that's that is actually our source for a lot of the conversation We have on the show is Looney Tunes. So oh, yes And it can drinking cactus water on an empty stomach will give you diarrhea or make you vomit therefore Dehydrating you even further and this is because I guess it cuz inside of the cactus the water that is trapped in its poop It's highly acidic. Oh your body has to work really hard to get the alkali is or whatever bullshit out of it I don't know. Oh fuck sure. Obviously. I don't know. I said it during call the cactus water last week I just I so this is all new information to me and and apparently in a in an extreme situation

You can drink a few sips of what is specifically fish hook barrel cactus Right, okay, but then they said another difference between cactus. I can't die also we got we're gonna be dead out there, bro We are not we are not supposed to be in nature, but this the serians or seri Indians the seri Indians or seri Indians I'm not sure I have what the name how you pronounce their tribe But apparently they would use the cactus as emergency water But then I guess it gave them severe pain in their bones and vomiting if they did it on an empty stomach So you also can't it is well, you know that it's a great segue to a story that

Speaking of nutrition the most important story of the week even though I got the juicy small a Trial going on. Have you done it if you looked at any of the updates on that shit? Oh, yeah No, I have it's getting that's the movie the movie is him No, no, no, no, absolutely not it's fairly remarkable But him is gay lover to like put the noose around him all this kind of shit. It's wild. It's fine It is a gift. Yes, if you are following that trial, we will cover it More and they and the gisling Maxwell the gisling Maxwell trial Which is also going on and the fact that they just showed that Jeffrey Epstein definitely visited Bill Clinton the White House

17 times Everyone goes to the White House 17 times. Yeah, everybody who's Michael Jordan goes to the White House Well a forever championship, so probably six times six times But then man, honestly, it's so I don't know where that's at. They opened up the little black book They named everybody obviously Donald Trump was at the top of that list that Prince Andrew Garfield Is that his whole name? He also was on that list. They're all on that fucking Yeah, I mean and she still hasn't said a single word, but did you see that yet? I saw that one haunting picture that was Gisling looking at the woman that was painting her like, you know, like they have the yeah

And it's gisling with two Fucking her pervert laser eyes staring into the eyes of the court artist as the as and she's drawing the artist back You know defiant and it's her defiant the way I will say that that court artist is doing a bang-up job Yes, really really good pieces of art so we'll keep you updated on the going Maxwell trial and of course what's going on with jussie small a as a Just a you know sometimes isn't life crazier than art. Okay. Well speaking of absolutely batshit insane You know we fly now like we actually like to fly Delta There was a woman on a Delta flight and people were like oh this woman's breastfeeding and then many people you hear that you're like

Oh, okay brave almost brave right because the child needs nutrition, right? But it wasn't a child she was breastfeeding not allowed to because when a woman breastfeeds a child You're not supposed to look right. No, it's it would be disrespectful to look and also like, okay, literally You're saving or yeah, it was a draw. You're not supposed to be looking at it, right? I don't think people could look away. No, because we have found out that she was not again breastfeeding a child She was breastfeeding her hairless cat and the quote is the cat was quote screaming for its life. I Don't know what the hell what do you react like? What do you react like when you look over and you're like, I think that woman

How do you want an alert? Is there a button that you hit on the plane? No, do you tell the pilot? No, I say nothing I say nothing. You know why I don't want the plane to land where it's supposed to I don't want them to turn the plane around. I don't want them to duct tape this woman I because when it comes down to it she I guess is harmlessly insane. Who knows now I don't joke about it all the time because they don't like it's very hard to bring an animal on flights now And like when he sure when he is built to be on a flight, right? Because she's seven pounds is really small She just sits in Adley's lap, but now it's very difficult to take a dog out there, but we talk we joke about

What if we dress her as a little baby and put her in a bassinet as people people we're gonna fight you if they think you're fucking Unapproachably insane. No, I think that they probably wouldn't but again if you whip your tit out and start breastfeeding your cat This is the problem would be like well, that's just strange on so many reasons. So I thought this was a joke when this was first came out, right? I did not of course this was real I didn't want it because it's I think this came out last week and we're gonna do it on the episode and I was like There's no way this story way, but then they've shown that on the message system They have this thing called the aircraft communications addressing and reporting system Which is cars to alert Delta crew in Atlanta. She sent a message basically saying

Packs and 13a is breastfeeding a cat and will not put cat back in its carrier when FA requested and then there's no response There's no like ha ha. There's no like what what if the the woman has not been named yet? We don't know but apparently she did have it all swallowed up Swaddled up swaddled up in a blanket, right? And then she looked over and she said that their shirt was up Smashing the cat into her titty you get it to latch and this is a thing man Do you want it to latch with? Cat teeth I do the cat teeth the cat tongue this woman obviously had very strong nipples Because they can deal with a lot of the pulling and tugging that a cat would provide

Yeah, the flight is tendon to the flight attendant said the hairless I was swaddled up in a blanket and it looked like a baby her shirt was up trying to latch it to the tits Cat was quote screaming Then I like also it because of the story Delta then had to put out a statement saying we fully support a woman's right to breastfeed With the act of breastfeeding but then Natalie asked a question when I told her about the story Natalie got sad by the way. I thought it was funny, but when did she Was sad she was just cuz she felt that the woman obviously was broken and completely insane But she was she obviously is yeah, she must

This is my question Is she actively breastfeeding a child or was she also that crazy in thinking I could I could fool everybody into Thinking this cat's a baby if I breastfeed it No one will tell me to put it back in the carrier It could be it could be that case yes, of course because that's what she didn't want to do She didn't want to put the cat in the carrier, but it's only funny if it's Amy Schumer or like if this is like a real comedian That's a funny bit Sure. Yeah, there's a lot of humor there to it that you could mine. I suppose my question is was she actually lactating to that point?

Or was she just trying to get your lack of pleasure from a cat's mouth? Let me ask You mothers out there side stories LP otl a gmail.com how If you could squeeze some breast milk into a cat's mouth Would that be difficult because I also feel like they might like it or would that severely poison it because it's human milk And it's supposed to go to other humans Like would it be bad for a cat to drink? Human milk. I'm good. Isn't milk bad for cats. I

Think it's supposed to be bad for cats. Yes, but I know that like back in the day again based upon looney tunes cartoons It looks like like milk, but they don't like milk So this one was wrong on unless you had like pea soup shooting out of there or maybe not No, they're not so anyway, that's a true story A woman was kicked off a Delta flight. Yeah, that's on all the real ones cat. It's true It's on all the real newspapers now. So yeah, obviously it's out there and this woman wherever she is I mean, I hopefully she's at the live show And if you're at the live show, let us know ahead of time because I'd love to ask you these questions

I love to ask we was going through your mind and what you're thinking about because they haven't named her obviously because I know It's still not a crime. They didn't even really say what they did to her after the flight They sent the message apparently they fought a little bit and eventually she did put the cat back into the carrier Or perhaps it would be in decent exposure. Oh in decent exposure the sequel where she But then you know also I am gonna probably imagine she has some money So she might be no no she was she was in 13 maybe she was in 13 a for those I think it's come for plus it might be come for plus, but it's also the aisle seat So that means that she was straight up

not Maybe it's a maybe it's the windows either way. There's there's people around This might be the end of a very long string of YouTube pranks that we're not aware of you know I mean like this might be there might be a whole story to this that we don't know that this was supposed to be a bit and Or again, yeah, just a tragic story of someone who's completely broken and off their medication Well speaking of cats, but any kind of a totally different term and in wrestling news This is kind of a crazy story So I just want everyone to know if somebody who is famous is in your DMS

It's not them unless unless they are trying to have sex with you and you're 16 years old And they you they shouldn't be there a celebrity email like it should be quick a little quick little little shit back This story to me is about like how when you're in the public eye Sometimes people can extrapolate a Relationship with you because not even a parasocial relationship because parasocial is way more like streamers actually they do talk to you They do like refer to you and youtubers These are people that I would not necessarily speak to you unless it's a real quick like love love your brother and you go like me too brother

Like that type of thing or a heart or something like that, but this is wrestler Seth Rollins So for those that don't know Seth Rollins, it's one of the most famous wrestlers around right now He's an incredible wrestler. He is with the WWE and I wish they would use him better, but that's just me Okay, so this fan Alisa Spencer. It's a boy, but his name is Alisa Spencer Um, I think it's Eliza Eliza. Okay Eliza Spencer. I don't know. Whatever He said that he had quote beef with the wrestler because they were interacting in their DMS So Spencer when WWE came to town He saw this as an opportunity at Barclay Center in Brooklyn to jump a barricade and then he tackled Rollins

And Rollins was very close to just beating the living sheet out of him Well, the thing is that Rollins on camera and if you pulled him off right away, did you watch him tussle? Oh, yes, Seth Rollins did good because this dude is like he was he's a bigger dude He was a beefy dude He came around the corner and he he had tackled him and then Seth Rollins like He protects him like he grabs him He grabs him around the head and he like tries to protect him because the guy's really trying to fuck with him Like he's all over and Seth Rollins. Well, he was very much so could have he did have him very close to a chokehold

That would have knocked him out which would have been pretty freaking cool But yeah, but he didn't want to do it to a fan on camera because it's still like in the end I know it's like fucked up. So it's still a fan. Like I'm not trying to lose a fan. I'm trying to keep a fan I think you could lose this fan. Well, this is sad because what happened was I think that he obviously he might either be Slow, you know what? You can wrap it all up with you can just wrap that up with a professional wrestling fan He's a wrestling fan. So he's he might be taking things a little seriously Yes So he said he went to an outlet because the dude started talking immediately to the cops and he told them the whole story

He said that he He met Rollins at a meet and greet cool, right? And so you start a connection you feel like things are cool But the problem was is that would also probably happen is that someone saw the picture from the meet and greet And then someone pretending to be Rollins via whatsapp started messaging him So even like, you know, like let's go on bro He catfished him and he got three thousand dollars out of him and this is how you know it wasn't Seth Rollins Right, so you know it was Rollins does not need any money

He's one of the reasons that they actually have to lay off quite a few wrestlers because his contract's pretty big But he said the guy he said the quote-unquote the the internet Seth Rollins was asking to send him gift cards An exchange for money mostly five hundred dollars or more and he said it was to see if he was loyal So now that plays into because Seth Rollins character. It's the messiah character So he's kind of a cult leader. So I think that you're right I think this guy the guy who catfished him had to understand some of the narrative some of the Um narrative that was going on unless it's just that broad of a concept I guess could also be the case It was probably one of his friends

Unfortunately, this is the thing that fucking happens too and he said he asked him to be a blogger for him And he was he needed to work his way up, right? And obviously Seth Rollins had nothing to do with him being catfished, right? Seth Rollins, he's after the match. He's just walking up to the ring. He's still in character Then I have nowhere this guy just bulldozes him, but I love this statement from him I apologize to the ww for my actions. I had a legitimate beef But as a grown man, I could have settled it in a different way But I saw him today. I wouldn't attack him. I've moved on

Does he still think it was Seth Rollins and his dm? I think the man is I I just think that there's something missing here I think that there's a little bit of thought missing here because then Seth Rollins in his his statement, which I also love It's terrifying, brother. It happened very quickly I was mostly just reacting and hoping that our security would come and do their job Which they did very quickly and then was just trying to detach and move on I hope that everybody is okay. Oh, it's actually really nice. I love Seth the Hulk

Rollins, that's the only wrestling voice. I know he is supposed to be an exceptionally nice man And he is the father and the husband of he is not the father of Becky Lynch But he's the father of Becky Lynch's child. That is his wife Becky Lynch. Nice. Anyway, so I guess the theme today is broken people It often is on side stories Yeah, it often is because Henry brought this story to uh to our attention in the green room And I can't believe it's it involves a tucus And a mortar shell and I can't believe that this story is real today The lord had given this weekend on this week because these stories are fucking

Fascinating. Completely insane So the headline is that Henry can give the details, but the headline is bomb squad called to Gloucestershire Royal hospital after man gets world war two mortar stuck up his bottom How did that happen? I love this but the whole bomb squad had it come and if you look at the whole bomb squad This is so look at this mortar shell. It's big. It's kind of huge So this is I believe the it's pronounced Gloucestershire. Who fucking knows you're gonna you're gonna it's Gloucestershire We know that that's not how it's pronounced. You know, it's always different over there It's like the Worcestershire Worcestershire

locations So this is just insane, right? They he showed up the man was a military enthusiast which I think is really interesting because Most of the time if you are a military enthusiast, you've never received training, right? You just are someone from the side You know, who's the military enthusiast? Kyle Rittenhouse, right? Like these are people that are they're enthusiasts from the military because they've never had to do anything Absolutely because when you're really in the military at some point you become more of a military You become fully bitter you're neutral

You're at least at the most you're neutral, right? Rittenhouse, obviously in the military, just good for whatever a lot the man was So he said he found this shell while he was clearing out his his bullshit, right and then he tripped And he fell onto the 57 millimeter piece of army ordnance And it landed in in the hospital, right? And then so we now know that the this the 57 millimeter mortar round was used by the royal atura With the royal artillery in the second world war. So these are anti-tank rounds. These are big, right? It's huge. It's huge

It's really really big um and the court a source told us on the guy said he found the shell when he was having to clear out Of his stuff and then he said he put it on the floor And he snapped and he fell on it and it went up his ass I'm like literally just like the only thing they fucking said and the when he showed up, right? Because he probably showed up like with like of a bit of a tipsy of a bit of a dizzy little bit of a dizzy little situation He'll go a bit of a rust about going on in my back area. They're like, all right. What's going on, sir? You're like, oh, I fell on an object, you know, like that's how it's okay. Sure. It doesn't start with a bullet There's no way then they go in they open up his asshole and they look it in and they're like

Can you imagine the call like he's bent over? Pants are down the doctors there with the like all this could be you know Pair of pliers all this kind of looking at it and then he has to turn to the nurse and be like call the bomb squad This man's a terrorist and then they instead of this is what's fucked up too They call the bomb squad on him while it's up inside of him because the bomb squad had to help them take it out of him So you're the bomb squad your job is to stop terrorism stop like all forms of terrorism. That's your job and you're in How do they decide who goes in?

Is it whoever was laughing the least gets to go in because they have they can make a good sense of humors It's very they have a good sense of humor if you're the bomb squad because you have to Because if you're the fucking because I I feel like this is one of those where we'd be like We feel only the captain has the responsibility level to handle this This is on the captain. There is no way If you're a part of the bomb squad Side stories lpotl at gmail.com who on your team would be chosen to go in And disarm this man's butthole. This is more important than steal a seal team six killing Osama bin Laden

I don't really care who fired the bullet, but I do want to know So who saw the round in this man's asshole because they gotta go they gotta stop their whole thing They gotta stop their whole day to roll over to the hospital in mass Full you know because it's like guys with shields Oh, yeah, and it come into the room while he's still bent over been like oh, I didn't make me cause this much ruckus All made a bit of a slip and fall and they're like, oh, this is that's how it got up into your fucking duodenum It was a slip and fall where we did you fall from the ceiling? How do you just get up inside of you so fast? If he was practicing like the yokozuna finisher or something perhaps it could go up his butthole

I don't think so though. This is where we hear last podcast and left also to remind you put something It's only supposed to be in your ass up your ass. Sure. The round was 57 millimeters in diameter And 170 millimeters in length Of so yeah, the man had a a heck of a day And everyone can confirm that the bomb squad was there. It's a little bit smaller. I'm doing the conversion right now This is how good we are here at side stories and last podcast and left them doing the conversion. So technically The width of it was about three inches. Okay

Knackin gold. Yes, it's more the length and it's more the In what Paddington bear world do you number one completely nude going through your bullets? I know that's how I will go through my bullets one day Like I know I guess what you do, but you're completely nude or at least porky pig in it, right? You got your fucking dick and an asshole out, right? You're walking around your house Do you slip on another bullet and how does one bullet? Perfectly Like it would have to be on the floor

You would have to lube your bullets I think that the man there had to be lube involved in here because we didn't hear any like stories of massive anal tearing I think this man was so in love With the military school munitions That he butt fucked himself with a bullet And then unlike and these other has a nice cock and balls so it doesn't go all the way in that You know, they are there for presentation because everyone loves to hold a fake pair of balls But it's also there so it doesn't go all the way in because then it gets very it can get stuck

It's a stopper the whole point is that your butthole is a perfect cylinder, right? And then it closes at the end of it, right? It wants to hold it inside So you push it back up because it keeps your guts inside So that thing fucking slides all over your guts. Honestly. He became lethal weapon He really came Mel Gibson for a hot second, but just that idea of like man I guess these are the type of guys that really should be in the military These are the people that would really keep us free because they love bullets so much

Maybe they also don't want to waste them. I do love the idea of the hurt locker where the one guy is just like Yes, I know what to do. Just spread open his ass cheeks and put every bomb in his asshole Explode it now. It's incredible. Yes, fine. I'm fine according to the the hospital They say as with any incident involving munitions They relevant the relevant safety protocols were followed to ensure that there was no risk to patients staff or visitors at any time So it looks like they saw it. They handled it and again anyone in the health care Anyone in the health care profession. Thank you for your service. Seriously. I just want to give nurses Give certificates to things what they have to deal with all day long

I guess this one the bomb squad got to do it and not that. Yeah, that is kind of fun But then you just go to like then you just go to the next room and then someone has leukemia Yes, and then they're like that's not like I well, you know, there's other guys got a bullet up his ass and he's like, yeah, my blood is dangerous Very scary. It's a tough freaking gig Here's another mystery that's happening. This one's fucking. It is freaking me out. This story is really freaking cool This is one of those where you're like, you know, it'll it always turns out to be nothing like the mask on mars And and then obviously, uh, we've had several we've had several

Astronauts say that they have seen Structures on the moon, right? Then they have seen I believe there was, uh I don't even get to try I don't remember his name. Um, let's go on. Let's go with john glenn. Why not? Why not sure john glennit? But there are people that a lot of the astronauts have said they have seen weird structures on the moon But this is the first time We've seen a fucking picture of one. This one's really interesting. China's u2-2 rover spots a cube shaped mystery hut Yeah on far side of the moon. That's what they're calling it a mystery hut

Which is really interesting It uh, apparently they so they have a rover on there And it's going around and it took a picture of this cube on the horizon of the moon and it is Frightening it looks like a sci-fi movie. Like this is the beginning of a sci-fi movie right now. Yeah, could be could be Well, I mean it definitely is as a matter of fact it is they so they publish it. I guess u2-2 diary It's published by our space, which is a chinese language science outreach channel affiliated with the china national space administration I mean like, you know, who knows what? Who knows what they're really up to right? We know what's happening up there

But still it is it's very interesting because the scientists have expressed a strong interest in the object and now u2-2 is expected to spend the next two to three lunar days, which are core about which apparently which I didn't know That's two to three earth months Oh, well reversing the lunar it's because going to the dark side of the moon and the other side of it Because it has to go around all of these craters and I guess these things also move extremely slowly Like that's what they do. They really just they slowly climb the rover the rovers. Yeah, they're gonna chill out a little bit Yeah, and so they I guess the u2 the u2-2 lander made it was it was there in 2019 Um, but they're going over it. It's just it's it's it's eerie. It gives me a chills

It's cool. Look at it. So as Henry said, it's the china. It's china's national space administration cnsa They also previously in 2000 as Henry said it's been up there since 2019 apparently in 2019 It also found this bizarre color colorful Gel-like substance with a mysterious luster Um, and that substance has not been explained. So I know the cliché is that one dude Fuckin slime gang bro and it's on the moon dude, but that's like it's sweet. The cliche for a long time has been like the moon's boring But maybe maybe just maybe it's still it's not so boring

There's still some mysteries on the moon just like in our bedrooms Now if you look at this panel the one thing that they're saying is that it might be One the logical explanation the logical explanation they're saying right now is that it was a large boulder Which has been excavated by an impact event, right? Like basically it got hit by a comet which Uh, that does make sense. But man, if you look at pictures of the moon, they also said maybe it was an alien crash Maybe there was more tongue-in-cheek though. Yeah, I mean the thing is Again now what we'll see as we go through the the soft yet hard disclosure world that we're in Where it's like how much shit now will be faked as ufo's specifically to hide anything clatter sign anybody's doing up in space

I always I love pictures from the moon. They are they're cool looking dog Like I like how what I said, I mean whatever dude that might be edible stalking whatever But like watch those pictures of the rovers walk around you just like you just sit and think like Man, what would be like to fucking chief up there, man? Like, you know, I have all of those hack thoughts looking at the fields of rocks on the moons. It seems fucking sweet Yeah, it might get boring. Yes And well, it's actually also in it's very dangerous in its way. It's both dooring and it's both boring and highly dangerous to be in space All right. Well before we get to here of the week just one final story

We if you're a dominatrix good go out there have fun The CEOs need to get beat up on saturday nights. Otherwise, you're gonna blow up the world Also, what I'm finding my good sir is that a lot of uh, we've had some friends who are in the dominatrix world That say like that's a bit of a misnomer There's a lot of people that like to get stepped on and like to get puked on and and have their balls mashed and get their Butt holes played with okay point noted So a dominatrix her name is julia enright. She's 24 She is accused of bringing one of her I guess clients into a treehouse. His name is brandon chiclus

He was only 20 She brought him into a treehouse where she killed him And apparently she said that there was a kind of a big turn on for enright enright Wrapped his body in a blue tarp and then dumped it along a highway Which I guess is what you do after you kill somebody in a treehouse. I don't know But he went up there for sex, but then she killed him because of how hot she found it This is one of the first times we really hear from the female perspective of murdering for sexual pleasure Because quite often they you know, they don't get as wet

They mostly get wet about like not having to deal with that bro anymore Absolutely, and of course as we talk about like the satanic panic and stuff like that this woman Um, this dominatrix if you know, if it turns out that all of this stuff Uh, that was done intentionally and she really just murdered this man It's interesting because the prosecutors are basically using a using the case that she's a maryland manson fan Uh, she was obsessed with grave robbering death and blood. That's our entire audience Exactly and wrote about her fascination in journal entries. Some of which were read in court One and the disturbing thing is she killed the dude. Everything else is normal being a dominatrix is normal

All the rits of it's absolutely fine. Read one journal entry. I just have an insatiable curiosity to kill a person Uh, prosecutors, that is the abnormal part. Yeah, I mean the killing of the person Also, uh prosecutors also alleged the killing of chick list was a former boy who was a former boy scout Was quote a gift to her boyfriend. So isn't so what are you getting for Christmas? Did your significant other even kill somebody for you? I don't know. I asked for I want a hat I was looking at these fun hats that my grandfather used to wear these like they're like the bullet style hats It's like world war two style like like leather hats. That's what I want. No, I well, okay That's an easier gift than a corpse than a corpse

But honestly or on to not to be anything but it's actually very difficult It's actually very easy to find a corpse if you want one I mean, I'm not trying to do the Walter from big Lebowski here Right. I'm like, well, if you want a corpse, I can get you a fucking corpse. Well, thank you so much, Walter I'm good for now. We can dig up a corpse The dominatrix apparently was dating chick list in high school and that's how he she was able to get him into the tree house Facebook is uh nuisance and a plague that's where this comes from. This is all the same shit

I will say it is nice because dad at least mom found her new boyfriend because he came back from high school Is that type of shit that does happen in over 60 facebook? It is a place to get fucking railed from your high school people like people you haven't seen in 40 years You know what I mean? That type of shit, but otherwise this is what happens on facebook You end up in a dead in a tree house. Well, according to the da there, jeffrey travers He says that n-right enjoyed manipulating the guy pulling him in and then pushing him away Of course, and then she held a special kind of moose women do Yeah

That's normal and I guess all of that is normal and I guess like when she was messaging chick list Knowing that she was going to kill him. She texted her boyfriend. Do you think we could add bubbles to a bloodbath? Oh my god She might be a little corny to be honest Seriously, I mean So the dms back in the day did read like that though I guess the body of chick list again the victim here. It was found almost three weeks later By again the classic scenario from a jogger found by a jogger. Oh god. Never jog get a treadmill

Be in your home go inside jog inside a structure while you'll see his blood And she's uh, she's arguing a self defense there, which is a pretty sure sure especially defense It's just a tough sure when you bring a man to your tree house Absolutely, of course where it's like a tree house is a hard place to defend I didn't I forgot that tree houses exist to be honest It was the last time you were in a tree house. I never I I never really had a tree house growing up The thing is is that yeah, we were lived in New York So we weren't going to build a tree house and you know what it is kissled to

What's that we were both too fat for tree houses Because we couldn't be we were too small man's good. I try to go up in a tree house I remember one time he'd go up there and you just kind of feel how much you're not a bird And you're much bigger than a bird and you're you're bigger than the other kids and you're worth like especially at that point When you hit close to 300 pounds and you're in middle school and you're up inside of a tree house You're worth three other kids They just bring other kids. They don't invite you up there. Oh, absolutely All right, one story. I'll quickly just touch on it's about these like these zeno bots

They're talking about these like robots that are figuring how to make more of themselves Autonomously they are just figuring out how to make more of themselves. It's in a biological thing. It's a bio It's on like a micro Level like it's very very small, but it is fascinating if you do read this anything about it It's about what we are going to be calling robots in the future, which is they are made out of natural materials They're made from frog Like cells and then what they did was they what they called the programming was that they shaped This that made them a specific shape because what these things naturally started doing

Was that they started pushing together stem cells in order to make more of them? And then giving it a little butthole crevice allowed them to catch more To goop them all together faster and then all of a sudden they just make a bunch of them And so there's a lot of people saying oh, it's robots, but we're not yet at like nano machines doing it These are cell based Created organisms that we're going to see more and more of like because they were there when I first heard this story I didn't read it on info wars. I read it like in I think it was science science something So it was very positive because apparently this can cure a lot of diseases like oh no, but it can be and

It's a thing. It's a thing. Have you ever heard about the big goop or the big gray goop? It's this concept only when you were in slime. I know there was slime crime which got cleared up, but but uh, I think poor people getting kicked out of their fucking flop house was what really cleared up the slime. It seems uh, but I uh It's interesting. There's a concept that's called the big goop I think you'd call it or the gray goop and it's this concept about Self replicating nano machines going haywire and making so much of themselves that they encompass all living life They create a giant amorphous blob of nano machines and that slowly leak over the entire world I'm just consume all of us. Yeah

That is a panic thinking. That's a panic idea. I can't wait to be the tangerine in the In the uh jello mold that nobody wants to eat you are so many cells You are so many good goopy goopy. Oh, yeah, you'd be so good for those machines, man All right. Well speaking of good cells. Let's get to hero of the week. I need a hero Oh This is uh coming in from california Actually, this story is really cool. So there's this football team. They're a high school varsity team They went 12 and 0 and all 23 players and their coach are deaf

They play in a they don't play in a hard of hearing league They play against, you know, normal hearing people and it looks like they're about to win the state championship Their name is the carbs the varsity team from riverside california Um, they've lost every single game in previous seasons now somehow They just had a kick-ass year. Oh, that's fucking awesome. It's awesome. So good for them And it's difficult enough playing the sports and I can't even imagine When you're deaf what you have to overcome. Let me build a hive mine. I bet maybe according to enzo Enos Zorn Zornosa, he says we can do anything deaf people can do anything

We're not the stereotype that's out there. We're breaking news that we can do it right And not just our school here, but other schools for the deaf can do it as well So, uh, that's really awesome And it's uh, it's just great. So yeah, that's so sweet. Did you you remember when travis showed us that big poop? I apologize just I have to I do have to correct myself. They did win the state championship So that's fucking incredible. Good work. Did you see when travis showed us that big poop? Do you remember that? I do remember that. Yeah, it was a it was a massive poop Did you want that to be here of the week or I've been thinking about it?

Yeah, ever since he showed it to me was much larger than the mortar shell. It was huge It was it was the single biggest poop and then I'm looking at that picture right now You are as we're talking. I'm looking at it and I'm still just so fascinated by it. It's just so it's just so very very big Like another and like and they'll look on the nurses faces like she looks so surprised and also helpful But I'd like to know the story on that if anybody knows side stories lpotlgmail.com right big poop nurse surprise It's your google poop nurse surprise. What are you thinking? Um, well, anyway, when it comes to the deaf high school football team that won the championship They said they took one game at a time one practice at a time

Just like that man who took that dump one at a time Wide receiver jory valencia says we're destroying every game. We're showing the world what we can do We're not losing anymore. So go guys. You guys are heroes Congratulations. All right, here we go. Here's a little bit of a listener emails I've been sitting on the story since june and it has been slowly ruining my mind for the last six months I want to start off by saying that I was born and raised by a claire sentient clairvoyant dad who passed that onto me as well As claire empathy suddenly this to say I was basically raised to embrace and believe in supernatural Okay, now on to the good part. I was working on my city's animal shelter from december 2020 to september 2021

And I constantly felt like I was being watched or followed right and I heard animals that weren't there At first I played it off as just being nervous to start a new job But as the weeks went on I realized those things I felt and heard hadn't stopped for example I would think I saw dogs in the ward that weren't there or hear cats meowing Even if we didn't have any cats in the shelter. So one morning I went to take care of a cat quarantined in our grooming room I specifically remembered the doggie gate in between the doorway from the first room into the grooming room being closed After I fed the cat I decided to leave the gate open because the cat was calm And I always had a particular hard time with this with the dumb lock right and I left to help my co-workers with some kittens for a few minutes

That's cute. That's a cute job. Sure. A little while later. You have to execute a lot of animals as well Yes, I actually bet you that yes. Yes, it can't be very emotionally exhausting A little while later when I opened the door to the first room again There was a dog I did not recognize standing there growling at me So naturally I closed the door and walked away not thinking anything of it But 10 minutes later I asked one of the front desk ladies who was what was up with the dog in grooming She was shocked and she said there shouldn't be anything in there So we both went and when we opened the door the dog was gone and the doggy gate was closed

Obviously we were both in shock and started freaking out when I told her about the gate She was nice enough to entertain my delusions and check the system and talk to the animal services officer working that day Of course it turns out there was never a dog in there I spent the rest of my eight-hour shift trying to make sense of the whole thing while trying to convince myself that I wasn't crazy By telling myself things like it's super early in the morning I was probably just tripping for a second I mean honestly as a person that eats a lot of edibles and mushrooms You never know sometimes I wonder if a thing I saw or thought was like legit Or it's just like one kernel in my duodenum of something like melting into my system

No we were talking about that with all my memories it's nice when someone confirms them Yes, yes, because at least it's real right? However later that day when I was about to leave the same girl came up to me and told me that I wasn't the only one having weird experiences that day In fact another front desk lady had something that felt like a dog pulling on the back of her shirt But when she turned around there was nothing there At least it wasn't a dude dressed as a dog That's always bad I felt relieved and more confused as I had never seen an apparition or spirit before and haven't seen any since

Which is honestly the worst part of this whole thing Which is really interesting the idea of seeing You know my mom, oh my god my mom talks about seeing the dog's ghost all the time That was from Valentine our first dog being like Valentine sent you a credit rebate Like literally stuff like I got a $50 rebate for my credit card the other day That must have been Valentine, that must have been pop-up And I was like no it's your credit card company's making a mistake mom I love you but that's

You never know Valentine You never know, is that the one she fed to death? No Valentine was normal Valentine was put together the old-fashioned way with the needle Now your last episode regarding veggie crimes and rhubarb violence reminded me of an incident from my childhood Young asparagus is a tender delicious vegetable However as summer begins to fade What a weird intro

I love this The plants grow into tall woody stalks with feathery fronds Which eventually bear seed to repopulate the patch As children my brothers and I were mostly left without supervision to complete our chores And then get into whatever mischief we saw fit Just to be back inside for dinner My older brother and I cut several tall woody asparagus stalks Trim the fronds off

And decided to sword fight with them on top of a large dirt mound A king of the mountain type scenario That's fun In the midst of battle My green sword snapped And I was left defenseless to my brother's thrashing This is about as painful as being whipped with a tree switch And it left some proud deep red welts

In a moment of courage I reared up with a broken stalk of my asparagus and stabbed my brother in the forearm The splintered stalk stuck into his arm just below the skin About three inches and broke off Leaving a chunk of asparagus hanging out of his bloody arm He screamed in pain And he ran into the house for medical attention from my mother And a bizarre twist of asparagus pea irony

He told my brother he was pissed at me for stabbing him And later he was spanked for using the foul word Fundamental madness It's really far too uptight That's very funny Alright, asparagus crime, it's real Mostly we got a lot of emails saying For the love of Christ, don't drink cactus water

And a lot of people trying to pronounce a bunch of the different things When we did the episode about cork in Ireland We said everything incorrect Great In Gaelic Fantastic They said there's a bunch of stuff in here Where it's like tag is tiug

Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug

Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug

Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug Tiug You gotta love this Kevlar, that's me baby

I ate so much spicy shit Just to test and strengthen my butthole Just in case someone comes around me I'm locked outside of a hotel I'm outside of a hotel I was in the hallway trying to quickly put out The room service and I'm stuck out there And then like I run out to the lobby to try to get a new ticket

They do right to get a new key they're screaming at me saying get out of get out of here You you nude man, and I'm like I am a man with a room with this hotel And then you go outside, and then a man tries to rob you while nude I can bend over and then when he sticks the gun up my ass to shoot me through my Bobby I can laugh at him knowing that my guts can handle at least one strong-ass bullet oh there you go absolutely triple you got there and it Was a beautiful tale of woe all right everyone well thank you so much for listening thanks to everyone who came out to the shows in Portland was so

fucking good we had such a good show I'm so excited to be back on the road this week it's gonna be fun we got a lot of fuckers to see we do we can't wait to see you all real soon and yes Oregon you guys were just so unbelievably sweet so thank you so ray gone was very well-behaved and they did a good except for all of the murders that we saw but again there was a lot of that there was a lot of murder in Portland that weekend but also what a beautiful city nice people it was big ups or everyone absolutely for listening we'll see you this week hey absolutely hail yourself hail status

congratulations everybody tell me motherfucker sure see you soon boys see what the hell are we gonna do there I don't fucking don't sit on any weapons nope leave them at home this show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network dot com