Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Chinese Zodiac Killer

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's true crime stories including genetically altered “aggressive” Hamsters, Dangerous Dolphins, the “Chinese Zodiac Killer”, a chiropractor murdered by his patient, the Japanese man who spent 2 million on lifelike dog costume, Hero of the Week, Listener Stories, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Um, Ben Kissel. Yep. Today I would like to start with a cross examination of you and your people. Why? I came upon some documents. I was researching various projects. We didn't have any examination. How am I already in cross examination? You're in crossfire. It's a crossfire. This is crossfire? And honestly, I'm about to put you to the coals. I'm about to take you through the ringer. I'm about to throw you upon the floor of questions needing answers. I mean, I can give you answers. First of all, your great-uncle, Verner von Braun,

the Nazi, had started the rocketry program. He was not my uncle. And I'm just saying, he was very close to you personally. Your family, he was very close to and he was close to. No. He was spiritually a cousin. My uncle was too fat to get into the military and too dumb to be a cop. Honestly, that's what kept him good. Okay. But Verner von Braun, I was reading into the apparently WikiLeaks, there was a release that apparently Verner von Braun, this is according to the woman that became his mouthpiece later on in his life when he was dying on his deathbed, Carol Rosson. Oh, okay. That was a, I believe a doctor. I don't know. She said she started off as a teacher, but ended up being Verner von Braun's right hand man when he couldn't

move his body anymore. Oh, wow. Okay. Kind of like that. What was it? Helen Hunt in that movie where she masturbated that man? She was off the guy. Yeah. But she was a hero for that. Well, what's nice about jerking off an old Nazi is that, you know, when he's done is when the right hand goes up. Okay. Because just dust shoots out otherwise. But Verner von Braun said that he believed that we would be justifying the use of space weapons and control of the world via space weapons. Yeah. The first it would start with, it would start with the idea of blaming terrorism after World War II. Sure. If it doesn't lead, if it didn't lead immediately to World War with Russia, right? He said that it would start into terrorism when he called rogue nations. So

technically he kind of called it, right? Okay. And then he blamed, he said that the United States would blame an asteroid, something like that, or some kind of weird esoteric event, maybe some kind of new disease, right? The idea that, I don't know. I don't know why. The Panic ensues. Yeah, yeah, yeah, esoteric. Yes, very much so. And then he said, the very last chapter of US deception to the world would be faking an alien invasion. And that's actually part of the, that led to the lead up of the reveal of these videos in December of 2017, these tic-tac, the tic-tac video, the gimbal video. And what that's supposed to do is try to stoke this idea that maybe the reason why we're showing off some of this material, that maybe the material in that

tic-tac video, listen to me, look at me, look me in the fucking eyes. I am listening. I have headphones on. I'm actually hearing, you're blaring in my head. In the gimbal, in the GoFast videos, what they were, their actual US technology that we are showcasing to China specifically to say, look what we got. And this is only, only from 2004. What we're trying to do is fake a coming alien invasion. Or is there a coming alien invasion? And that the gimbal and the tic-tac videos that we saw are the material that we put together in haste, right? And quick, we had to slap all this shit together because the aliens are indeed coming. Who do you believe? Could be. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. Ben Gisela with Henry Zabrowski. I'm just happy you didn't sell that to your wife.

And I'm happy you're still married. You did. I did. And her reaction. I think she had headphones on. But we were talking all week. We were in Stephenville, Texas. We had a great time this week. Stephenville, Texas. Don't go for the food, but stay for the aliens because the people, man, it was fascinating to hear those stories. They're thick with it, but it really is. It really is. What the UFO topic it brings up is so many, so many layers, so many different things. It's the only thing that kept, I believe, all of us from being beaten to death. It was a bizarro world. Every other place you go, you mention UFOs, conversations over. Get out of here, nerd. And in Stephenville, Texas, it opens up even the hardest minds. People that don't want

to interact with anybody. That's why they live in Stephenville, Texas, which is a small town surrounded by even smaller towns and a military base. When you mentioned UFOs, every single person was like, I saw one. My mom saw one. It was crazy. It was nuts. And one statistic we did learn, and then I looked up, and it's true, 75% of couples where one believes in UFOs and the other does not fall apart. You know, that's really interesting. They should start asking that on eHarmony because they say that one of the best indicators to see if you'll be compatible, it's not dick-sized and vagina-sized. It's horror or comedy. It's horror. It's comedy. And also, I think that one of the big ones back in the day was, do you like the taste of beer?

Really? It's a very divisive thing. If one does and one doesn't, it doesn't hurt, but I actually don't understand. You should get drunk. I mean, you can still wine. Natalie doesn't like beer, but she doesn't mind that I drink beer because she knows that I just need to smile. She knows I need to smile. Yeah, and you got to be a burpy boy every now and again. Otherwise, you're going to go towards the rotating fan that kills you in Philly, Pongka. But the reason why I got deep into the Werner von Braun information, I've been listening to a lot of hardcore UFO podcasts. Do they talk about Nazis a lot, I guess? It does come up. Yeah. The idea of a Nazi breakaway group that tried to go to space directly after World War II,

but subsequently died. What would they be escaping from? Why would they have? I don't know. I don't know. They seemed to really go. Then they went all the way through space to the beautiful planet known as Argentina. Argentina. But there's an idea. This thing called, I forget what it's called. It's like Nizium. I forgot what the actual term was. I haven't written down somewhere. I mean, we're going to cover it for last podcast on the left. We're going to do a whole thing with breakaway civilizations very soon. You're going to love it. I can't wait. It's really listening to a lot of this stuff. And the idea of as soon as CIA people get involved, because now it's all about CIA guys who come out of the woodwork to talk about the UFO

scenario. Right. Because obviously, I don't trust one of them. You should not. Because each one describes how they're the one with the secret information. That guy's actually a disinfo agent. Anybody who's not them as a disinfo agent, but then each layer they have to add to the UFO story just makes it more convoluted. It just makes it crazier. Like this idea that the Tic Tac video when it was revealed, this is the central idea is really interesting. The way the mental gymnastics where the Tic Tac video was revealed. And that thing that's in that video is current U.S. technology that we have developed around the time of 2004 to 2006. Okay. And that who knows where we're at now with these things like the spheres with the cube in it. That those things with the Tic Tac video

is with the Gimbal video is with the GoFast video is is a sneak peek at our missile defense technology. Could be. And then it's flagging to the other countries with nuclear weapons. Yeah. Try to hit us. You can't hit us because we got these things that to you look like aliens. Well, let's not test it out. That would be the best because I don't even I think we had drones yet at that time. But then again, you never know. We got to audit the Pentagon, but that's for a whole another conversation where then I scream and no one likes to hear that. Well, because when you're screaming, that's when everybody runs. Yeah, we actually spoke with the retired constable in Stephenville. And Henry did tell me that he that you guys had a small person conversation,

because you guys were both about the same height. I'm going to give you five seven. I was bigger than him. You may have been. And he told you that he didn't trust me because you never know what someone my size is going to do. It was really funny because you were standing so peacefully. You were standing peacefully with your arms at your sides. And he was like, come on, come on, honey. What's all boys deal? What's all boys deal? I was like, he's just standing there. You know, he's waiting, you know, we're setting up doing a thing. And he's just like, you know, never know them big boys can do their rowdy. They do bunch of stuff. You never know what he's gonna do. He's gonna play support. And I was like, he would have shot you in the head

if it wasn't for me. You're lucky you have representation. Absolutely. In that case, your stature really did come in handy. And God knows how many people that man did kill. But he also saw UFO. So we had to speak with him. We had to speak with him. Absolutely. Well, also we have one just one. And again, we're not just filling this up with corrections the entire episode. But everyone was like, the duck was attacked. Well, there's no one says as well. So we saw the footage. I saw Hero of the Week. I saw Hero of the Week in that duck. Okay. So last week, Kissel, obviously, I mean, he chose it. So there's going to be a problem with it. So Kissel chose this goose with his woman, a topless woman that defended her pet goose

from an eagle from an eagle. Yes. But then right after the show, as always happens, there was video from her ring light, whatever the ring things on her on her doorbell ring. Yeah. Right. And that video got released. And we see this very attractive woman covering up her breasts. Right. We do see the eagle come in. Eagle is there. Eagle attacks goose sitting on the technically peacefully. Who knows? I actually view all geese always at a low level of aggression. Absolutely. And that's what they need to be respected because they're very scary and they can take out a plane. Yes. But then this eagle comes in to attack the goose. Woman comes out with her tits out. Awesome. Great, great footage. Love the footage. Yeah. And all of a sudden you see

she actually didn't need to defend this goose. The reverse of the footage shows that the eagle, which trying to get away from the goose, because the goose had the eagle's ass in its mouth as it was going away. So it's his idea. So technically, she's a hero just for her just big old movies. Yes. So she still counts. Also, that's a Canadian goose. You got to leave our American eagle alone. You leave her alone. You know what I say? Every time. It's not a bald eagle. It wasn't a bald eagle. Oh yeah. Every time. Either way, I think they're blind. Every time I look at the American flag, I always say you leave that flag alone. My grandfather fought against that flag in World War II. And to beat him. And so you respect it. And speaking of fun little animals, there's a story

out there. My God, why are we creating everything from every horror movie? Why are we deciding to create the dystopian hellscape that only John Carpenter could come up with? Well, last week we did transhumanism part two. We talked a little bit about this concept of CRISPR technology, which I did not understand. Did we get flagged on that episode? No, I don't think so. I don't know. Did we get flagged for COVID misinformation, Fernando? Do you know? Who knows? I hope so. But transhumanism too, we talked about CRISPR technology, which is this idea of it's retail gene therapy. And I actually learned about how they kind of do it, which is what they do is it's supposed to be a created piece of DNA that then lays seamlessly inside of our DNA,

fixing some problem. But the way that they do it, because I asked like, how did they do that? Sure. And apparently, one of the ways that they do it is they put it almost in like a virus style, like a created virus that has that CRISPR DNA in it, and then they infect you with the virus, and then the virus goes throughout your system, and then it distributes that DNA amongst your cells. So this could theoretically be used for good. They're saying they actually think that they're really close to beating sickle cell anemia using CRISPR technology. Get on with it. My God, it seems like 2022 sickle cell anemia. Why? We got to have that cured by now. I'd say we fix it. I'm anti it. Absolutely. Yeah, we hear last time. We are majorly anti sickle cell anemia.

It's a scary name to the sickle. That's what's awesome about it. But the thing is what we're also understanding to maybe it's going to reveal to us about CRISPR technology is that we don't fully know how it works. There may be a lot of unintended consequences. One of those unintended consequences is creating mutant rage filled hamsters. This is absolutely needless. A team of scientists in the US, they accidentally created an overly aggressive mutant hamster with this gene technology again, the CRISPR or not the CRISPR because that sounds like a chip that tastes really good like Hidden Valley Ranch. You never called their refrigerator the CRISPR or like where you put the vegetables, the CRISPR? I never opened that drawer. They tried to help

out these hamsters. They turned out to be Syrian hamsters. I guess they got them from Syria and then they're doing all this stuff. Why so Syrian? You really nailed it. They're doing all this hamster stuff and then they inject them with this CRISPR stuff and then they turned out to be very upset about that and then they changed these hamsters into supervillains. It's amazing. The footage, the pictures, so what they were supposed to be doing is that they were supposed to increase bonding and cooperation. It didn't work at all. For some reason, I actually don't particularly understand how this works when they're like hamsters live in a society very similar to humans, which I don't really understand. I don't see anybody doing mukbang amongst a group of hamsters.

Well, sometimes they do try to fight over a piece of lettuce and end up kissing. I saw that footage. And that is cute. But what they wanted to do, they wanted to create this, like I guess, ultra-bonded group of hamsters. Why? I don't know. Why even? Just what is... This is the thing with... Give them a hobby. Make them a team sport. Believe all science. Sure, I get it. But sometimes... What you guys doing in there? Hey, guys. What you guys doing in there? Are you fucking with the hamsters? Yeah, we're trying to make them fuck more. We're trying to really create a bit of a hamster orgy here for our own delights. Yes, because what they were trying to

do, again, as Henry just said, was regulate teamwork and friendship. And then according to Professor H. Eliot Albers, he says we were really surprised by the results because the opposite happened. Yes, because they dropped it in and they don't really know is that all of a sudden, all of the hamsters in the group that they had put this new CRISPR DNA in to eliminate what they called the vasopressin activity, which they thought would reduce aggression. But they are now starting to think that maybe whatever that shit is has some repression stuff in there as well. Because they all started attacking same sex, conspecific, like other creatures. So all the dude hamsters would just start viciously attacking all the other dude hamsters by pushing them down,

pinning them, doing all sorts of weird hamster. Like, yeah, wrestling. Like, they were like, biting each other and fighting. And, you know, it's a lot. I guess, honestly, it's kind of crazy to watch all the lady hamsters scissor it out. And I've seen some videos, our friend Nadia White makes some of those wrestling videos. Well, I think there is an ex hamster website out there, but I'm not sure if that's if that's still around. No, no, no. Yeah. So the scientists said, we don't understand this system as well as we thought we did. So anyway, I'm just happy that they started on hamsters, I guess. But the sad thing is, I think you got to kill the hamsters, unless you go to hamster jail for a little while, or you get a hamster therapist in there.

I think a hamster therapist could really help. I think if they could figure out how to squeak some of these problems out amongst each other, they would not. I mean, maybe they could figure out how to fight and understand now, let's turn our aggression right against the scientists. And you know that we always honor the mice, the mouse. We do now. Because there's one statue of a mouse that says thank you for because we killed a bunch of them, right? Oh, yes. And now obviously we're killing all of these little hamsters. It sounds like we're just making them stronger and able to fight back. So I'm not sure exactly what this means for the hamster community. Hopefully these hamsters can find a home somewhere with someone who knows how to handle

aggressive, angry, mutant, rage filled hamsters. Dude, didn't even be in the same hospital that Mike Myers is in at the top of Halloween, the remake. Oh, yeah. When he's in the circle, then they got to come look at him and he's like standing there. Yes, the Rob Zombie Halloween. Yes. Is that Rob Zombie Halloween? I believe that was the Rob Zombie Halloween. That's the new one. Not the Rob Zombie Halloween. It's fascinating content. It is fascinating content. It's not Halloween kills, though, because that one spent a little too much time in the hospital. It did. And yeah, but I did like everybody getting together. We got to kill Michael. But that's the only aggressive animal we're seeing. No, it's not. Here's another aggressive animal out there.

And again, we had received a group of corrections saying like, don't touch a dolphin. If it's washed itself up, don't push it back in. You know, the dolphins breathe air and it's like, yeah, I know. Yes, they do. But honestly, you got to be careful out there if you even see a dolphin. And I actually know this from personal anecdote that you're not supposed to get anywhere close to a dolphin. What's your personal anecdote? I'll get into it. So this aggressive dolphin was found on the coast of North Padre Island, and they believe that he is a threat to human and animal safety. He is a threat. They don't know what he's doing. And they said that he has entered what it's called stage four aggression. Why don't they focus on us? I feel like it's, you know, maybe focus on

a lot of problems, maybe focus on an aggressive people for now. And then we can work our way into the animal kingdom. And then we can figure out like, what makes lemurs happy? Like, we can figure that out later. Because right now it seems to be really frowned upon to take somebody like Greg Abbott, put a fucking bag over his head, drag him into the back of the van and take him someplace in the middle of nowhere and make him show him true fear, right? Like, that would make people really upset. But you can do that to a dolphin. And it's that's the way it's easier. It's less complicated to do to a dolphin. I see. But the dolphin, what they're saying is what's hard is that it appears to be friendly. So the dolphin has grown completely

accustomed to humans, which is a part of the problem of pushing them into the water, right? But they said that like, they're like, it's, it's fine. They're saying marks on it, which means it's getting incredibly close to boats. And it seems to be getting rid of its family and approaching humans. But what it's doing is, if you're swimming with your kid, this dolphin will come in and start pushing your kid away from you. Like it's this weird shit, right? Whoa. And they're saying it's these dolphins like playing and playing, but they are, they, well, a lot of times the way they play will fucking kill you. They'll just snap your neck. They're still dolphins. I mean, these are massive animals. These are big time creatures. They also were saying

that they are isolating their pets. So little dogs will go, I'm a dog. What's up? And then the dolphin would be like, I'm your friend. But then it's like, much like Pennywise the Clown, the dolphin is not the dog's friend. Well, we heard that story from our producer friend, the idea of like, when they were in Alaska, how the orcas would learn to chew up food, the orcas would learn to chew up fish, spit it out onto a dock so that dogs would come out to get the fish. And then they jump up and get the fucking dogs. Come on. This is the thing that dolphins can't do. But we also heard some interesting information on the Alaskan Bush people. They are exactly as imagined. They really are. But the dolphin, I know when it appears to be

friendly is aggressive because I remember there was one time that my mother went to the beach. And it was in this nice little place where she, where she lives. And does she wear at the beach? Kind of a bikini. Disgusting. You're disgusting. We all attack you. I will literally drop, kick you across the table. But you went out to on the beach and as always is like this dolphin. Now you go watch the dolphins. It's so nice to watch. Watch the dolphins. And this one dolphin broke away from a pack. And my mom is like, Henry Thomas, you wouldn't believe when the dolphin removed its head up out of the water. I know what was your pop up saying hello. That's her thing. Everything I'm a dog animal approaches her. She says it's our grandfather saying hello.

Why does he like dolphins? No, nothing. No, he was from Queens. Okay. So he wouldn't even know how to read a dolphin. No, no clue. He would know. He wants nothing new with dolphins. Dolphins are from Miami. Maybe if she had like a piece of pizza that had like a smile on it, she could be like, it looks like pop up. But the, the lifeguard started flurantically blowing the whistle because my mom was in front of this dolphin and it's, and it's like smiling at her and, and, and bobbin' up and down. And then the lifeguard came and got my mom and says, like, you got to stop doing it. She's like, put the dolphin was saying hello to me. And he's like, when the dolphin exhibits friendly behavior

like that, a lot of times what it means, they're also about to exhibit extreme sexual behavior as well. And so my mom was just almost like furiously sexually assaulted by a dolphin. By a dolphin. Well, I'm very happy that that didn't happen. So no one really knows what's going on here. Biologists say the dolphin shows more. Would have been good for the show though. If your mother was fucked to death by a dolphin. She would have been fucked to death. I imagine you would have been at some point they tell the polish Italian to kick in there. And you know, you got to take control. Yeah. No, we're right. It wouldn't have helped the show because it's a story that would be deeply traumatizing to you. And it would be one of

those things where I think if I brought it up, then you would be like, okay, I get it. But I'll tell you what every single time Eddie wore one of his fun little jerseys, I'd be pissed. You'd have to get rid of his little dolphin band of Miami dolphins. One of our many friends, our favorite football team, their favorite football team is the Miami Dolphins. Everything would trigger you. Yeah, it would be horrible. And then you would say, why is he crying at the aquarium? And you say, my mom was fucked to death by a dolphin. We need to poison these rapists. Yeah. But then no one would even have sympathy for you because the story would be kind of funny. Yes. So anyway, don't fuck with dolphins. And we have one more. We do have one more animal

story, but let's separate the animal stories. Yeah. Let's get into. We got some true ground. You want us to do Zodiac? Well, this guy actually not quite certain email side stories, LPOTL, gmail.com. If you know why he, he refers to himself as the Chinese Zodiac killer. So this is Jesse Bartlett. Yes. He is now being accused of sending threatening letters in which he has claimed to eat flesh. He murdered people. He said hundreds of letters. And he said that he, but right now, they only have him on the letters saying that he's being charged with mailing threatening letters and he faces up to five years in prison. All right. So who knows what this guy is all about, but I think he's given himself this nickname.

I think so. Yes. He called himself the Chinese Zodiac killer. He called himself Alistair Crowley. Oh, that's too cliche. Yes. As Henry said, he claimed to have killed multiple people and eaten their flesh. However, he also threatened to murder more, including an identified bus driver and bus drivers. You better leave my bus driver. But he was caught placing brown packaged into a postal box and is in Waterton, New York, I believe. And that's a federal crime. You mess with the mail. You're messing with Uncle Sam. Yeah. Cause that's what he says right here. According to one of his letters, every month since November, I have killed both male and females. It is possible that I'm killing individuals who identities are impossible to track,

i.e. homeless, runaways, illegal immigrants, and destroying all evidence so efficiently. You don't want to hate about this. Number one, if he is telling the truth, it's truly horrible. But as we know from the Riddler, from the new, the Batman. Yeah. No one's making more Riddler noises. I love. There needs to be more Riddler noises. Why? Well, I'm sure your audition went fantastic. He wouldn't let me in the building. I know. But the thing is with the Riddler, he kills the powerful. Yes. I got no respect, not that I respect anyone who kills anybody, but killing a runaways or homeless people. Come on. What is wrong with you? You're not some edgy, bad super villain. You're just a jackass.

So apparently he dropped 21 envelopes into the US Postal Services in boxes in Waterton and Clayton. Another 21 in the same Waterton bin. And then further investigation found all 42 letters were consistent with those written by the Chinese Zodiac. But as you said, Henry, he has not been charged with murder, but this is not his first running with the law. In 2010, he fatally shot a former friend who allegedly invaded his home and threatened to kill him, but he was cleared on self defense charges. So he does have at least one kill for confirmed. You know what's fucked up is that he was a school bus driver. Wow. Which actually kind of like tracks. Because I remember some of those school bus drivers and not to malign them at all. You're, you know,

you're a first line in defense. No, there's some that are just horrible. Yeah. But I remember a couple of them that were like, they, they shouldn't have been driving hogs. Never mind children. Like they should not have been anyway. They should have been delivering coffee pots. Right. They would drive their children and they would be obviously very hammered. Oh, I remember I was like, we'll turn this day a bus around like from Billy Madison. Yeah, one bus driver definitely just smelled like whiskey as I got older. I was like, Oh, that was that. And I had my other bus driver. She was very sweet, but she told me all about Ross Perot. She loved Ross Perot. My mom worshiped Ross Perot. There's something about that old man

that ladies love. They fucking loved it. But he is a apparently he is very interested in the occult and black magic and he included a lot of symbolism in his letters. I mean, I actually don't know if he's done anything, but he was found with get seven guns with high capacity magazines in his house. So nobody doesn't need those. No, no, no, no. I think he might have been preparing to do something. A straight up prosecutor said straight up the Barlett is it has stated straight to them that he is a sexual predator and he has been on the hunt for your women at all times. You know what? Believe people when they tell you who they are. I'll just say, okay, all right, you're fucking asshole then. I fucking hate you then, bro. And it sounds like you're a real risk.

I have already killed someone in the New York area. Here my prophecy. I will kill again. Hell wants more souls. I'm sexual predator, the killer among the living. I am not hiding. I'm very easy to find because I need to be found, but I must test you. Which is really sad. Just guys that do what a fucking bitch. Yeah, whatever, man. Why are you writing this letter? You sound like you just want to write letters. Also, how difficult were the ciphers to solve? Not to malign again. If they were very difficult, but were they? Oh, yes, incredibly difficult. They're still because we covered again about how they just revealed that they had cracked the Zodiac Cypher again, but it's always kind of weird.

And then he says, I made it clear that I would make an example of anyone who has knowledge of me that refuses to educate the public of my existence. Listen, you better tell everyone. You have to tell people because if not, will I be the Chinese Zodiac killer? I think not. I'm just going to be Jesse. So what I'm going to need y'all to do, honestly, this is on you to tell people because if you honestly, because y'all have PR people. So he's doing a word of mouth campaign. It's grassroots campaign. I'm doing one subscription at a time. You know, you're supposed to, as a supervillain, not want to be caught. And it sounds like he does the thing for a sub, a sub-stack. It sounds like he works

for a sub-stack because it's like each monthly letter contains my current kill count and whether or not I feasted on the flesh of my victims, but you're going to have to subscribe to see that. There is no way that he did that. That's all behind the Patreon wall. I don't, you can't be an archvillain for monetary gain. No, he's just doing it. He's just saying that he, this is what he does is monthly letters. It's a literal newsletter. He's doing what we do, but no dates. He doesn't have any tour dates. I grow weary of your inability to capture me and inform the public of my presence because you haven't killed anybody yet. Well, you're just saying shit. I think it's just letters. I might just be letters,

but it's probably best the man is in heavily armed and on the streets because it does seem like he might be completely and utterly mentally ill and there's no better place for the mentally ill than the US penal system because he's not going to come out worse than ever. No, certainly not. I certainly won't learn how to do crime better, but I'll tell you what, I'm so sick of my job as a bus driver. I'd rather be the Chinese zodiac killer. Well, so if we could just find a way to bridge me and that's what I'm looking to you, like and subscribe, give it up. If you're going to want to, you know, I mean, like, what other kind of killer content you're looking for, you know, show up next month,

you're going to find out how many people I killed, you're going to find out whether I killed a fucking, I could kill the pelican. I killed a pelican last week. Wow. I'm a dolphin. Yeah. Wow. That's probably kind of crazy that the dolphin very smart, but I just didn't know they had thumbs that they could write a cypher with. Also, I'm sorry, Chinese zodiac killer. It's still just the zodiac killer. The name's already been taken. You can't just say I'm the Polish zodiac killer. We're not doing that because we don't know what the zodiac killer may have been Chinese as well. Who knows? We don't know who it was. Absolutely. And if you're the Polish zodiac killer, you know you're killing by the schedule of the New York Mets. Absolutely.

And that's a funny joke about being Polish. Well, speaking of just violent creatures. Have you seen the thing about Poland? They're doing American cosplay? No. It's Polish American cosplay where they, and this week they're doing Ohio. They're doing this thing. Look at this. Because yeah, American cosplay, it's considered a LARP group and they do this shit. It's a LARP group that role plays as Americas and they're doing Ohio. So Joe Guy smoking. It's just women dressed as pregnant people smoking, people faking, getting arrested by the police, a man sitting in a chair besides a sign that says bullshit free zone. I'm upset. Oh, wow. That's amazing. It's a lot of chewing bubblegums, drinking Heineken and wearing

moisturizing face masks. Well, you know, they do have a good understanding of America, although it's not, Heineken would not be the appropriate drink. I don't think. I like a Heineken. Yes, I know, but I don't think it's uniquely American. I mean, it's a Dutch company, I believe. I bet you it's hard to get it in town because I feel like, I think a Bud Light went across the German border. They would send, they would set the trucks on fire. Right, right, right. Yeah, that's probably very true. A roast as dark as the night, perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge. Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee

and Last Podcast on the left, we bring you Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans. Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. Also, just a little bit more here on animals. A sheep was sentenced to three years in jail for killing a woman. I think that's a fake story. No, it's been, it's been, there's multiple, multiple news agencies that have picked it up. What? Yes, indeed, according to police chief Major Elijah Mabor, he says the ram attacked by hitting her ribs and the old woman died immediately. It's a rant. How could it be guilty of murder? Well, he has no clue. What do you do with it? He says our role as police is to provide safety and separate fights. The ram was apprehended

and is currently- They put handcuffs on it? It would be hoof cuffs, yes. That's the dumbest shit. Well, not to that woman. Then he also said the owner is innocent and the ram is the one who perpetrated the crime, so it deserves to be arrested. Then later on the case, it shall be forwarded to the customary court where the case can be handled amicably. I don't, from what? The ram doesn't even know it's in court. The animal will now spend three years in a military camp in a dual county. It doesn't know it's being punished. It'll be in Sudan's lake states. It's just the ram. It just knocked the woman. The woman probably was standing too close to the cliff. If she could get knocked over by the ram, why was she so close to the ram?

Well, ram's also much like life. Ram's come at you fast and it hit her in the ribs, so that'll kill you. I know. I know that we strive here. We strive here to change. We don't victim blame here. No, we don't. But this is this woman's fault? No, it's the ram's fault. That's why it's got to go to jail for three years. Does this make any sense? Why would you put it in jail? It doesn't understand that it needs to be rehabilitated. You don't understand how much an animal understands. They're sentient. And animals know when they've been punished, because that's why they look at you like, oh, I'm being punished. That's what dogs do, because it's been silently built into them, because they figure it out a way to manipulate us,

because they've been a part of humankind for so long that they figure it out how to keep her being stopped to death, right? Where a ram has no... Side stories, LPOTL, thegmail.com. Can a ram feel guilt? Absolutely. I can't believe how stupid our emails are going to be again. They absolutely can. They absolutely can. And then also, rams have helped us with CTE when it comes to, because their brains strong like bull, which is ironic, because they're rams, but they don't get CTE. I do think they're naturally stupid, from my understanding. No, well, their brains... But there's a cushioning underneath the horns that we model, and we use that for our helmets. They also have studied the woodpecker, but the woodpecker, it's, you know why it doesn't get

CTE when it goes woodpecking? Why? Because its tongue goes all around its brain, and it holds it like it's a little cocoon of... No shit. That's what. Oh, man, are we about to get a fucking S? See you woodpecker emails too. I don't think that no one owns a woodpecker. We're not supposed to be talking about biology. This is not about biology. It's about cartoons. What are they? No, this is woodpecker. No. We're already going to hear it. I already know. You can feel it. You can't feel it. Fernanda's saying he's correct, and Fernanda never helps us when it comes to information, because he likes to watch us hang ourselves. Yes!

Or let's talk about humans for a little bit, and something all too human, the chiropractor. No, we really need to maybe... My father and I, we would go to the chiropractor, and I can still feel the bones cracking in my body. Cracking and snapping. I don't think it really helped, to be honest, but it's controversial. I believe it's controversial, or it's, you know, it's debated whether or not chiropractory helps, whether... Again, we are choosing no sides. No, because if it helps you, it helps you. Sure, I do not care. I just don't like the sound of my bones cracking. No, I don't either. But it is fun, but every once in a while, I like when I go to, I wouldn't got a Thai massage,

and it was nice because they really crack the hell out of your bones, and I like that. But they're not wearing a lab coat. It's a tiny Asian woman with her bare feet, and she walks all along your back, and it's awesome. Yeah, and you don't have to sit in that one contraption that like has a little side door, if you really get aroused or something. No, that happened to me. I told you as a little boy, it fell down the flight of stairs, trying to get a cake from the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then I accidentally knocked the disc out of my back when I was like 10, and then... Yeah, man, it was really sad. I had a fat man's injury. It's a little fat boy. It's a 10 year old.

So, a man pleads guilty, which I do appreciate. He pled guilty to murdering a chiropractor, who couldn't fix his chronic jaw pain, and he beat him to death, right? But look at this mug shot. The mug shot looks comical. It looks like it's a joke. Because Jackie and I had a conversation about how you never frown as a person, right? Like, I never... You can't see it, but you can't... I'm never... You're like purposely frowning. It's like an actual frown, like a... Right. No, look at this. If I look at like this, it looks like I got like a brain injury. Right, absolutely. You know what actually frowns? This man is... It is a freeze frame of rage. Yes. It is incredible.

It's a scowl. Like, I'm gonna use this. This is a meme I'm gonna use. I love his... I get it. I mean, like, I feel it. You have chronic jaw pain. So, this guy, Joseph O'Boyle, young guy. O'Boyle. Really sad. 22. 22. I'm really, really sad. And he murdered this Dr. James Sawa. Evidence presented by the prosecutors suggested that the defendant committed the crime in less than a fucking minute. Geez. So, two days. It was after Halloween, 2020. Hard Halloween. Hated Halloween. Oh, that was a horrible... Horrible Halloween. And he went into this doctor's home because I guess this dude

decided to do home, like, practice during the, like, before the vaccinated times of COVID, right? And he said he walked in and he said he walked back out of... This is according to surveillance footage. He walked in and walked out in under 52 seconds. This man, almost Ted Bundy-esque, the amount of rage that he must have had just because this man couldn't fix his aching jaw. But also, if you're a carp actor, I think that's one of the few bones you don't crack. I don't know. So, he said he tried to... He started experiencing jaw pain around April of 2019. And he said that... Oh, it wasn't even that long. No, but he said it came with other issues. He said it was starting to affect his

person life. He was getting... His mental health issues were rising, obviously. His depression was rising, obviously. He couldn't figure it out because I do understand how chronic pain can fuck with you. Absolutely. Entirely. Completely and utterly horrible. That's not the problem here. It's the beating death of the doctor. It's the murder. I think he went to the wrong doctor. Yeah. He shouldn't have gone to a carp actor. You don't go to any doctor that is in a man's house. All right? I know that there's no way to tell whether or not a doctor is good or not, but at least... Yeah, there is. At least give me the decency of renting an office. So, I know that if

it's happening somewhere, I feel like it's official. I don't fucking... I agree. I don't want to be in there looking at pictures of your nana. No, I don't. I don't think so. I don't think it's very professional. But he said, obviously, around September of 2020, he was going to... He was getting appointments with this doctor, and he said it just wasn't working. And then finally, after his last appointment in September, he said, I think that this guy's actually making it worse. And then the guy, oh boy, all the murderer was like, I might sue him. And what do we know about suing? It takes money just to try to sue somebody. It absolutely is a colossal pain in the ass. It

can ruin your freaking life. So, you might want to do this, but then, you know, you're up against a doctor. Doctors got money. They can pull you into court. He's a carp actor. Yeah, he's a carp actor. Man, I fucking know. But then instead of doing that, he walked in there and he said, like, hi, doctor. Wait, wait, wait, wait. And just fucking beat him to death. Apparently, he must have been very angry. And again, this is sort of like the first kill in the Batman with the Riddler studies eating itself, because he hit him three times with a blunt object, and that's all it took. That's all it took. He had two skull fractures from the initial attack. And then as he lay on the floor, he was hit several more times in the jaw. Perhaps it was

apropos. But now they're trying to figure out what is the plea here, because one of the public defenders saying he's got schizophrenia. They said that he had went off his meds. There's some of that. This could all be true, but it's also best that he's not on the streets. I think that he needs some time in jail. It's just about now trying to find out whether he was murdering the first degree, which it does sound like it, because if you walk in and out of a place under a minute, you came in to kill a man. Yeah. I think because there was no build up, there was no like, because they're trying to find out now was that, you know, was there like a pushing match? Was there some kind of like, you know, like, look at my jaw. You took a look at my jaw.

Tell me I'm fine. Well, that's taking up seconds of time. If it only took under a minute, I don't think there was a lot of communication. He went too fast. He was a bit hasty. He really was. And so days later, his father, this is Oh Boyle's father confronted him. And it was like, hey, you kill a carpenter lately. And then he was like, no, no, no. And then he tried again. And then finally on the second conversation, the defendant admitted to his mother and father what he had done. Yeah, it was me. Yeah. But my jaw is feeling so much better. So much better. So maybe there was some truth to all that. So the investigation traced the white niece on Ultima, which is the defendant's escape vehicle. Yes. They obtained the search warrant.

They got it. And they were like, yep, this is him. He did it again. Yeah. And honestly, you got to be careful. That's why like, especially as a chiropractor, you better do what you advertise. Also, he was when he was being detained, he leapt at the Ben Salem detective, David Nives. And as the guy was lying there, he struck him multiple times in the head. I mean, he looks fairly agitated in his mug shot. Yeah. The guy obviously was, wow, man, that is a dude. That is a scary dude. Yes. He was very, very upset. So anyway, we'll probably never discuss him again. But no, no, no, he's going to go away for a while. If you're a doctor, just say, you know what? I can't help you because you're at the wrong.

I'm the wrong doctor. I can't help you because I'm an optometrist. Well, I don't know because they say a lot of times with jaw pain, it could be connected to your neck. Who knows? There's a lot of problems there, man. It's complicated, but also when it comes down to it, like, ah, man, but it's why people get into heroin because of chronic pain. Yep. Neck, back, pussy, and your crack. Also, an interesting story, maybe they're just kind of wrapping up before Hero that combines both. Oh, no. This is my favorite story of the week. Without a doubt. I mean, we've been talking about animals and we've been talking about people.

And then sometimes the story comes together and gives us both animal and people. What I love is that they really describe this guy as a lifelong dog lover. This guy named Toko. I love that name, by the way. Toko is a cute man. Oh, yeah. Toko is very cute. He, a Japanese man, he spent 15 Gs on an ultra-realistic dog costume so that he can live like an animal. Now, normally we've covered before and we've had some debate about, like, you know, I've seen hypersexual dog costumes, right? Yes. Because there's the idea of doggy play, you know, pet master play, and then also straight up the more innocent version of just straight up furries, right? The idea that you dress because, you know,

like, it's fun for you to dress like a cartoon dog. You know, I'm going to give, you know, I am just out of the kindness of my heart. I'm going to give a lot of the benefit of the doubt. But, you know, for a fact, when those costumes come off, it reeks of calm. It might. Right. And we know this. We know this. Not at all. But this man wants to be a dog so completely. I'm going to show you this video, Kissel, so you can see what it's like in movement. It is a super realistic dog costume. And he said he wanted to dress as a collie because a collie is a big enough dog that he felt that he could realistically portray one. Right. The word I'm going to use is haunting.

It is quite scary, I have to say. Good words. Because look, he does that. He makes it wave. That's cute. Right. Look, he says, nice to meet you. Look, he can actually kind of see out of it. Look, you can even do that. He says, hi, I'm a dog. Welcome. I became a rough collie because I wanted to be an animal. That's the one thing that he says here. Sure. You did it. Good work. It's a great costume I must admit. And it seems like she's living outside. Is he rolling over on his back? That's cute. Why don't you rub his belly? Yeah. Go in there and give it a rub. He does want to kiss a collie. Come on. Give him some scritches.

I don't think he doesn't want me to do that. I think he does. I think he does. That's an open invitation. Look at that. Look, he's one leg spread wide open. But does he want another dog to rub his belly or do you want a person? No, he's a human's Rubba Dog's belly. Other dogs don't run human. So you need to pet that full grown man inside that hot dog costume, Kissel. Well, if it would make him happy and I was super hammered, I would do. Oh, it'll make him super happy. I just, did he paint his penis red then? I haven't seen it yet. No. So he does do a good job. It's a good dog acting.

I can't imagine. He's just walking on his knees. No, it is not remotely comfortable. He has to be squatted inside of it. And he worked with a company called Zepet or Zepet. He went through various rounds of revisions. Toko was heavily involved in the design. And the face, he is very involved. It's a good, it's a good design. It's an incredible costume. It is the uncanny valley personified. It's a little scary. And if you saw it walking down the street, you would be like, am I tripping balls? But you would be, you'd be like, is that a dog for a second? You'd be like, is that a dog? Or then you'd be like,

Oh God, no, that's a man and a dog costume. Yeah. Well, either way, we're not doing anything right because his post on the internet got 50,000 likes. He's better than us at content. And according to this article in the Daily Mail, it quote, divided the internet, which I can't believe that. What? Oh, what? Oh no, how could it possibly? But that's, I like one comment that says, being freak, God level, well done. And everyone said, you spent money on that? Well, at least it's realistic.

I mean, hey, you know what? I'm not going to yuck someone's yum. If this is what he wants to do, again, as long as you don't go violently hump a series of innocent people. Again, anything to keep you from killing other people, that's what you need to do. But look at how it sits. So it's, it's very hard because you can kind of tell, it's obviously a person and you know, it's going to be too big, but it's just like, wow, we, wow, we, wow, is that I'm not seeing a super screen. I just don't even see how it's going to be like, I'm trying to be what you said. I'm trying to be accepting and, and be there for this guy and say, Hey, how are you doing?

Like, I'm, oh yeah, that doesn't make me shudder. You're right. That doesn't make me want to go call my fucking congressman and make you illegal. You're right. I want to just, I want this to be accepted in a way. Obviously wants it to be known and he wants people to see him in his little dog suit. And I'm sure that he enjoys it. And I'm sure that he's going to meet somebody who is like, you know what? I want to do the same thing. And then he can have a whole pot. I love it. And again, it's, it is a, the very base of it. It's very creative.

Also, when it comes to money, isn't it funny? Because it spent him, he had to spend 2 million yen, which is only a $15,000. So it sounds more expensive. Well, money works different in other places. Isn't that interesting? It's almost like it's a man made creation. It's all made up. Okay. Hey, what's up everyone? How you doing? Ben Kissle here with Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, it's me, Ben. Yeah, bro. Henry Zabrowski is smoking some of that

sweet last podcast on the left, babe. Go out there and purchase yourself some. I hope you enjoy it. We have Sativa, we have Indica, and we have a hybrid. And I have to tell you for my personal experience, they are wonderful. Super tasty live resin. You really get the delicious, weedy taste, which is what I like. And three different experiences. You go to your local vape store and get it. Absolutely. Thank y'all so much for supporting the show. We absolutely love you. Can't wait to see you on the road and get that vape.

Put it in your brain and have a good time. And if you want to set your favorite weed store, give them a call and ask for them by name. Last podcast on the left, it's weed. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. Well, speaking of made up, let's do Hero of the Week. This gal, I love speaking of made up. I love this woman. She's a Christian model.

Well, isn't that powerful? It is. But God, he's horny for her. Oh, yeah. I mean, God fuck Mary fucking blew it in the back of her fucking chunks to make sure he made the fucking, you know, the wizards climb out of her. Absolutely. She's a Christian only fans superstar. She makes $120 per month. Good for her. And she says that God has directed her to not stop stripping until she's 75. I tell you what, man, she's looking good.

She's going to get in that gilf territory. Oh yeah, dude. She's looking good. I like it. She does. She's 46 years old. So she's got a long career ahead of her. Oh yeah. Nita Marie, she's one of the top earners there. She's a bus de blonde. And she says, quote, God is guiding me through my only fans career. And he said, I should continue creating content until my 70s.

And yeah, she is a total babe. And she says, to me, sexuality is a huge part of my faith. And goes on when we experience an orgasm with someone else, we share a small part of how God feels about us. So you think God, so God's constantly coming, thinking about the atomic bomb. That's what you made us. Thinking about her piece. Thinking about all the other wonderful things we've done and created.

Well, I am just happy that this woman, she's going, she's spreading the good word of Jesus Christ and she's spreading her legs. And I think that's just fantastic. And you know why she believes in Christ? Why? For a very rational reason. Yeah. She was nine years old. She had a dream about Jesus.

So that's that. So that was why she does that. So anybody just sounds like a no, I know it's just something that she chose to. That's one of her choices that she made. But she says she says she loves to invite God into the bed with her husband. And then her and her husband and their quote unquote, divine creator, when they get together twice a week, it's for the best sex she's ever had.

I mean, I'm proud of her. She was good. Anything to get rid of some of the shame and stigma of sexuality. Absolutely. She believes that the Bible is a little misogynistic. So she likes to change it up a little bit. And this is what she's helping to do. She says, I want to be a gilf.

Grandma, I'd like to fuck and empower older women to look and feel good in their own body. She said, I also want to encourage them to have an active sex life. I know that God doesn't want me to retire. That's incredible. So there you go, Marie, you're here of the week. And I hope you hit him up. Hit up, kiss him. I mean, I'm good.

Hit him up. Tell him she has a husband and God. Yeah. I can't compete. And she says her husband doesn't want me to retire either because he likes the money too much. No shit. No shit. No shit.

Wow. Wow. What a hero. What a hero indeed. Definitely better than that frickin duck. Yeah. Fuck that duck, dude. Beautiful.

Duck don't know shit, dude. It's goose. Beautiful woman. And stupid, either way. Stupid. People are also saying that geese can be nice, but whatever. If you have something that they want and as soon as you no longer do, they will be mean. That's what I'm saying.

Okay. It's like a lot of friends in Los Angeles. Absolutely. Oh, here we go. This is a biohacking experiences. This is really interesting. So I have two NFC chip implants and a magnet in my ring finger. I got the first NFC chip at a hacking convention in Vegas for 50 bucks.

A large bearded man with several tattoos injected it into my hand during a very quick procedure with no anesthetic. For some reason, I know, you know, I don't like when I don't like price gouging, but I feel like it needs to be more expensive. I feel, I feel like it too. But it was a part of a convention. So this guy was just a whole line of them, right? They said it hurt really bad, but it was over soon.

It was like five seconds, right? And I got the second chip and the magnet at an awesome piercing shop in LA. The second NFC chip was administered the same way with no anesthetic. The magnet, though, required local anesthetic, and I literally felt nothing. Apparently, they said, anybody who says that you can't use anesthetic while putting in one of these body mod things is lying to you, but you should be using anesthetic because it keeps you from screaming. Yeah, it seems to make sense.

Because they still, they cut it up. They've created a little meat pocket in her finger. They put it inside of there. And then they said that they took about 10 days for it to be fully healed. But then what do you, what do you get with a magnetic finger? So this is like, they do a little bit of breakdown. As for the why I did this, the chips are really just cool party tricks and fun for side projects. I would compare them to getting a tattoo.

It looks cool. I like feeling like a cyborg and I get attention from it. I also really like using them to the activate things I build, like a dorm room lock. I hacked together while I was at college. My particular chips are not cryptographically strong enough to trust them into block away real valuables, but those kinds of chips do exist. Plus, my second chip lights up red under my skin when it's being read. It does this without a battery and harvest power from the reader itself,

which is really interesting. It's like futuristic thing. The magnet, however, actually does make me feel super human. I can feel magnetic and electrical fields like a genuine sixth sense. I see the world in a whole new way. I can locate the fans spinning in my laptop by running my hand over the keyboard. Feel the magnetic field generated by my electric toothbrush. Pick up screws by touching them.

It's great when fixing iPhones. I feel a profound sense of discovery every time I detect something unseen with my new sense. I have suffered no bad side effects, and I even relearned how to rock climb with a simple adjustment to my grip. I love my magnet. Okay. Well, that's fantastic. I don't know what the rock climbing thing has to do with it, but the thing about a magnet,

though, if you do have one in your body, you have to pull it out before you can use an MRI because you'll break the whole machine. Oh my God. It is not fucked up. It is fucked up. I'm happy that they're happy. That's great. And then they can feel all that stuff that sounds like it would be exceptionally overwhelming.

But it is very, very overwhelming. It's very different. I do have a story. Do you want to hear a story about a horny 420 ghost? Do you want to hear a story about what it's like to date Bob Seeger? But the one about dating, about how to date Bob Seeger, it seems a little bit, you know, it's because, you know, they said it was nice because he was younger, but he smoked too much weed.

So her mom said, her father said, you can't date him anymore. So she had to leave Bob Seeger. That checks out. Okay. Let's go to the other one. Yeah. So I've sent an email to you guys before about the ghost that lives in my house with me, my roommates. His name is Floyd.

He smokes a lot of weed, according to my neighbors who knew him. And he died at the age of 69. Nice. Nice. On 420. Sweet. We found this out because one of my roommates is a journalist and did some digging into the property. It started with seeing a figure of a person wearing a brimmed hat.

He'd also show up in dreams. We've had friends say the night with us saying, not saying anything at all about Floyd, then most of the time our friends would say the next day that they swore that they saw or felt the presence of a man in the room. Same description with the brimmed hat, just standing there. No bad vibes, just neutral. He's Floyd. He's Floyd.

Cool guy. Yeah. My roommate and I have felt him touch our hair. He almost always shows up when we were either smoking pot, eating mushrooms, doing drug stuff, and or having sexy times. We're banging, making out with our partners, right? Checked out. We've seen him through the windows,

standing outside the front of the house. We've seen him at the end of the hallway. I've seen him while partying with friends just standing in the smoking circle, as if he wanted to join in and hit the blunt. That's fucking awesome. I get that. Unless, of course, he can't and then he wants to and that's purgatory. And it's totally, I might be, right?

Recently though, I've been noticing he's been getting stronger. I have what Amber would call bisexual lights in my room that can change different colors. At least three nights a week, he will change the color to something different than what I had on or switch them to the party mode when the lights where the lights flash different colors. There was one night recently where I had the TV on while getting comfy to sleep. I turned off my lights, got under the covers,

and one minute later, the lights turned back on, but to a different color, right? And I said out loud, no, Floyd, hey, I'm going to sleep. Going to sleep here. I'm turning my lights off. Come on, Floyd. I turned them off and not even a minute later, my TV paused as if Floyd was like, fine, go to sleep, right?

No, Floyd, I don't like that, Floyd. I have also seen a hand-like shape make an indent into my pillow while I was sitting on my bed. Whoa. I've been in the shower and watched, literally didn't touch anything. I've watched my shampoo bottle move two inches to the side on his own. Could be soap. Could be soap.

Bad infrastructure. But who knows? I watched a switch to one of my lights grow and move about four inches as if someone was pushing it. He's getting stronger. We have a small altar with offerings for him in the hallway. Not sure if we should still be putting treasure there for him. It's mostly weed, but he's never given off like an evil energy.

I just think that maybe he wants to party and maybe come one last time. I think that checks out. Also, be careful if you do give him the weed and then you run out of weed. That's his weed. That's his weed. So now if you're going to steal it from him- Don't take it back. You cannot take it back.

Because you're fucked. But what I'll do with like my cheddar goblin is that like, I refresh the little, I put a little roach in his mouth, but probably every like couple months or so. Sure, very nice of him. And I'll put it in there because it does, and then this year I gave him a raise. Because normally I put money in his little hand, right?

And so now I'm discovering what I do is that every time something goes well for me, I make sure he gets a little cut. Um, well, hmm. I give him a dollar. Okay. It's about the thought. It's about the thought and he's a goblin.

Yeah. And he's got this little like wife there. Because I can tell you how he's got the little bride that Doug, our buddy Doug, send us, right? And he's sitting there right next to him. And it's like, so honestly, cheddar goblin's doing great, but I'd never take that weed from him. That's what I'm talking about.

No, absolutely not. That's, that's no leprechaun. A leprechaun. Don't mess with something's gold. No, man. All right, everyone. Well, so, hey, we're going to say out here, so before we get into the Live Left Loves,

just before we triple L it, we got a live stream for our Ryman show. That's right. At the Ryman Artillery in Nashville, June 18th. So go to Moment House, www, that stands for World Wide Web. World Wide Web. Momenthouse.com slash L-P-O-T-L.

And also on Twitter, they take, they take the wrong guy. Yeah, they did. They get some other weird Trump or doctor. It was really weird. It wasn't good. Anyway. We still have a couple of in-person tickets left.

You should come and check us out if you're in the area, if you want to come and see that beautiful theater, if you want to see what our fat looks like jiggling in front of your eyeballs. Come out. We got Marcus, has been passed to do it by his doctor. Is he doing good? He's doing good.

So we're going to all be together at the Ryman. And yes, and if you can't make it, watch us virtually. And that way, you can watch completely in the nude. In the nude, completely stoned, totally hammered, however you want to do it. Live your life knowing for a fact, you want your performance to come to you

in your fucking home. Absolutely. Be like, hey, I know, I know I can go to auditorium, but over here, I can watch you from my fucking toilet. And then you can laugh because you're laughing and laughing. And the best part is sometimes I shit the biggest when I smoke my first bowl of the day. That's like when my first biggest shit is.

It opens the butt a little bit. And it also helps you laugh, helps you smile. You sit on the toilet, smoke a bowl while you're watching it. And you never have to not be shitting. If you want to be shitting, you have to be shitting if you want. And smoke a bowl while you're watching on the toilet. It's great. When I was a senior in high school, my brothers were all gone.

And I got, I put a little TV in the bathroom and I sat there until my legs got numb. You got to, you got to. And then you can love the fact that we brought Ryman to you. And you can be part of our historic moment. Because I don't know if we'll ever do this again. We might. We might.

Because it is. Well, we are, we've almost sold out. It's the Grand Ole Opry, the OG. It is. So all right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening. And we'll see you. Don't forget about Psycho Fest in Vegas.

Yeah, we're going to do. Yeah, we're just doing a midnight show. It's going to be an hour show. We're just going to do something really crass for you guys. It's going to be disgusting. Yeah, we're going to be fucking. It's going to be just, no, if you're coming to Psycho Fest, it's going to be very different than we normally do.

And it's going to be fucking disgusting. Because we're performing at midnight. No one will be sober, including us. So we're just going to keep it dumb and keep it gross. Yes. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening. Hail yourselves.

Hail Satan. Magus donations, everyone. Hail me, you freggers. Absolutely. I'm going to go ride the bidet for another hour, go ride the bidet, be a dog, do whatever you want to do. Do what you want to do. Just don't hurt anybody else. Please feel a little fucking friends.

That's the nice thing about it. He turned into a dog and then people, that's dogs, man's best friend. It is cute. Yeah. But then hopefully he can maybe make a real friend. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

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