Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Darts & Farts

Episode Date: June 25, 2025

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true-crime news beginning with the hottest new competitive sport on the scene: Sperm Racing - then the boys react to the acquittal of Karen Read, Henry searches for answers in the mysterious death of celebrity chef Anne Burrell, An Arizona man confesses to stalking and crucifying random Pastor in home invasion killing, Convicted UK pedophile busted in Disneyland ‘wedding’ with 9-year-old, The remains of 800 babies discovered in waste tank at nun-run Irish unwed mother-and-baby home, The UK Darts Champ who uses farts as his not-so-secret weapon, and much, much more... For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free and a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Got the ghost side of me. I'm ready to go. This is what I was thinking. Is that immediately

I don't know how long we're gonna get into this on to the show What are you talking about in terms of this sperm race? Oh, yeah looking at this Immediately this was sent this was at the top of our side stories document today for some reason and and I was going through it The idea is that they created a super tiny track and there's a bunch of commentators and two guys they Ejaculate into Petri dishes and then they they race their sperm against each other now. Do they like Jerk off at each other. That's the first leg of the race So they so like because to me that's the most interesting part. I feel like you're gonna do like a decathlon Yeah, they're like staring at each other's eyes, you know know and then jerking off into it. That's part of the race, right? It's like who can come faster

I mean it depends on how deep you want to go to I think it depends on the league I think it depends on the league that is sperm racing You can go check it out the National Institute of spermatozoa Exploration cool is this very funny little company that is making I have no idea what this is I think it's some kind of God knows where this this they're basically they're trying to they're saying that there's like a male Fertility problem in the younger guys, which I've heard blah blah blah I mean, I don't know my I honestly think that my my semen is I have one yeah, and he's retired I smoke so much weed that my sperm so dumb it comes out my butt

We've talked about this and we've talked about this I talked about with your doctor I've talked about it with your lovely dentist to listens to the show. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah And even she said it was really worrisome How you've been going at your butt? Yeah, no, it's nice though, you know, it's be surprised It's like a double come when it come out your butt. Wow, really? Yeah No, it's really cool and then so I think I would have an extra edge over these people because the thing is when you shoot out your butt. Wow, really? Yeah, no, it's really cool. And then so I think I would have an extra edge over these people because the thing is when you shoot out your butt, it really, it's sprays.

I think that if I semened into this arena and it's two different tracks and the two tracks are built to, I guess, replicate the tubes that go towards the eggs, right? And it's in a microscopic track and you could see the semen race along with it. And I just feel like if my semen were in there, they'd just be kind of log jamming the other track. Oh, yeah, no, my semen are very Eeyore-like, you know? Oh, yeah, yours are, they're having a sandwich. They lost their tail and they don't give a shit.

Your semen is sitting under a tree with a lemonade. You know what I mean? No, it is not enjoying, it's not on the run, it's not getting trying to get to work. What even matters is their quote. I believe I really am. Why? Why all this for my semen on the tombstone? Did someone not put water in the bong? Yeah, that's what my scene is. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, why is it so dry in here? Welcome to Side Stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the slow seated Ed Larson Every time I come it makes this noise. Oh, whoa like Dom DeLauise Mine goes

Fuck a machine Mine goes gggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg Long I sit on he knows where his nuts are at all times and that's all a man can do okay So first of all before we begin I'd like to thank everybody to watch the behind the veil Yes, say on TV to be on the veil beyond the veil Behind the veils we're gonna call what we're gonna release it which is true the beyond the veil with Rh Davis Obviously I had an idea that it was going to be polarizing, which I do think is actually- Of course it is. If it's quite funny to me. But I also want to give a shout out to our crew that crushed it hardcore.

We made a television show with nothing. Nobody made any money. Like a week and a half of work. It literally was pretty great. The way these guys put all of this together was absolutely amazing. But just so you know, none of us made any money. No one involved in the production except for the employees.

Technically I lost $95 on the suit. We all lost money, so just know that it was a fun flex of what we could do creatively here at LPN. And we are gonna be releasing it on VOD. We don't quite know in the way we're going to do it, but I think it's going to be mass available and it's going to be for free and it's going to include commentary from us about everything that went into it and everything that came out of it.

You down with VOD? Yeah, you know me. And so that's what we're going to do. So you see it all, and uncut, and with our commentary. We just haven't figured out the timing on that, but that is coming towards you, so thank you. We should definitely, you know, like, what are you talking about? It's two hours long. They're gonna have to sit every minute

because I'm not hiding behind anything. You're not hiding anything, it's just like edit for time. That's their job is to fucking go through it. That's the audience's job. Our job is to make it your job is to watch it as presented. So and that's how we're gonna do it. But you're talking about adding to it. Yeah! Adding commentary. That's all they want. Look at all them. This is what they want Eddie. It was it was pretty it was pretty awesome to see how many people watched

it and it was a great. I had a wonderful time. I'm glad it was polarizing. Me too. To be honest with you. No, no, no. Because there's no way it couldn't be. I and it was great. I had a wonderful time. I'm glad it was polarizing. I'm being honest with you. Because there's no way it couldn't be. I knew it was. It's all my idea, buddy. It's all my idea. I'm totally, I accept and thank you for your anger. I'm here to learn, man.

I'm here to have a good time. Absolutely. I don't know if I believed any of it, but it certainly was a lot of fun. All of my reactions, I'm saving. When we put it out for the VOD, you're gonna hear all of my thoughts, and I have many thoughts about what went down,

and I currently have a ghost in my home right now. That is also a thing we're gonna talk about, but I'm saving all of that. Now is your ghost seaman racing? Like is that, is it, that was your shooting ghost? That's my goal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, you're talking about my goal,

you're talking about my vision board. That's different. He's little children that run the sperm racing That's what I don't trust Yeah, I don't trust is the children with the vials of my cum you have two bullheaded 19 year olds with jars of cum in front of them that I think that they like this is gonna be a problem Wow Now can I ask you something? Can we go back to the sperm thing real quick? I got several questions and theories. Okay Gunners do you think that gunners would be? Exceptional well at this or would theirs be dead on arrival sometimes gooning I think

Destroys your expulsive. Yeah like abilities, but I don't know whether to do They die in the balls or do they like or do they come out like fucking racehorses? Side stories lpo TL a gmail.com does the sperm of Guners is it stronger or is it weaker? I want to hear from scientists. Yeah, there has to be somebody out there. That's doing the science on gunning Yeah, there has to be one or two scientists Somehow involved with either the Angela White or the Gianna Michaels industry that have gone in there and then it must be helping these people with gooning and its effect on semen retention and semen productivity.

No poon, all goon. Yeah, I mean, that's all they do. Yeah. It's only goon. Don't worry about that. All right, so- Spoon the goon? That's because they like to be held. That's what these guys are doing. Yeah, it's only goon. Don't worry about that Alright, so spoon the goon. That's because I like to be held. That's what these guys are doing Yeah, yeah now these children here that are running this some sperm event. Yes These these kids are way these kids are definitely under 18. I don't know who these kids

I don't know who the children they have put on the sperm racing Twitter account that they're the two mushroom headed Children that are literally holding vials of semen with rubber gloves on. One of them's in a lab coat. Yeah, yeah, but anybody can have a lab coat on. Do you remember the guy- Now, the rubber gloves that protect them from the semen or for jerking off fellas? I don't know what they're doing. I think they might be catching the semen in their hands. Interesting.

But yes, they got the, this semen race is going on hardcore, but you remember in CVS they used to do that in New York? Semen racing? With the guys. Well, that was, they used to call it something else that was yeah That was just coming on the floor. Yeah, you know that was a Spill on aisle 12 you were also just being told you better come right now Or I'm gonna come on you instead of with you and so I'm like, you know, I always I'm a yes and guy CVS used to do the thing where they used to have blood pressure. Oh

We're just have like a homeless man in a in a lab coat Oh that guy there was that one guy outside of Dwayne Reid and in Ridgewood who would always be like Jackie But this as you walk by and I was the cuff so small I used to always argue with that guy because he's always tell me I always have great blood pressure So one thing I got going for me health-wise Yes, always a phenomenal blood pressure right on the money every day, always for all of the time. And then he would always bitch at me, like, you don't know it's good.

I'm like, I know it's good. It's fine. And then I checked it one time. He's like, it's good. I'm like, I told you so. Sometimes you don't got to worry about fighting, Eddie. Do you remember? Sometimes you got to let it go.

No, I remember. I want to get into some news. And we'll get into it, and we'll talk more about our lives. I like blood pressure machines. I know we will talk about blood pressure machines. Let's talk about some news, and then we'll come back around. I promise you the news First of all Karen Reed not guilty now I didn't really cover this that in depth you were in love with this story and then you abandoned it

Well, I watched the first trial. Yeah, and then it's been a lot of other trials that I've been watching more closely that have also then gotten boring Lori Vallow trial is now it's over. It's done. She's now gonna go to an appeals. All the appeals are boring p-ditty trial Unfortunately has entered into a bit of a boring zone. They are now currently watching the Sex tapes of Diddy Publicly in court. It's crazy how that's the boring part Oh, yes of Diddy publicly in court. It's crazy how that's the boring part. Oh yes, because they're saying that it's also he's listening to his own music while watching a sex worker fuck his wife and you're watching him in the stand at in trial like bobbing his head to his own music, which is again, that's producer.

Good to be there. You know what I mean? I mean, he wrote the songs. He likes it. You know, I love a murder fist video. Same. I watch myself all the time. I could see him pissinging to his own cup drinking it just to remind just getting the nostalgia on his lip Back in there like I remember I got that guy good shiny that Tuesday

But then but the biggest tip so I didn't have time to watch the new Karen Reed trial Yeah, which so Karen Reed was accused of killing John O'Keefe that was a Boston police officer that was a they were probably a part of the little small town in Massachusetts and they were deeply connected to this very intense cop family that they were all partying at after hours and then John O'Keefe Karen Reed left early she was dating John O'Keefe yes John O'Keefe ends up dead in the snow in the snow and Karen Reed is blamed they say that Karen but Karen Reed hit him with her SUV Actually, what insight she was driving drunk they all partied all night these guys party like only

45 to 50 year old cops can I don't know how they can't I don't know how They can all party that hard until 7 a.m I know the answers. Oh, I know it's cocaine when I worked at the poor house the cops would go hard They were fucking scary They would talk about like getting drunk and shooting out streetlights when the subway came by those guys are fucking nuts Dude, these guys are the night that they describe of all of these cops hanging out is just sounds like a lot They went till they had like a bit of a bar crawl and they went to I believe it was the McCabe house For the after party and when they got out there, so Karen Reed John O'Keefe

They had some kind of the she didn't want to be there. They were constantly fighting. Yes They had a very tumultuous relationship. And so they John O'Keefe says fuck this I want to go into this after party John O'Keefe goes into the after party after they drive in from the the main city out to where they live Karen Reed goes home. He's found dead in the morning. They say that she hit him with her SUV What is then found is like, you know, essentially all these investigators What is then found is like, you know, essentially all these investigators fucked up the job and what is the reason why? This is such a big deal is because this is one of the very very few cases

That cuts through the corruption of the local police. Yeah, and actually comes out with Exoneration this almost never happens When you went through the text messages of all the inspectors talking. Text messages. Text messages. Text messages. Text messages with cheese on it. They got rewrappies on it.

I need you to focus. I need you to focus. We're gonna get you some food. We're gonna get you some food. Yum, yum, yum, yum. So chewing all the sound equipment on top of the microphone. And a howl.

That's a flour tortilla, right? That's a flour tortilla. Howl. But all the investigators were super fucking casual and gross about Karen Reed. They were all asking who's got her nudes. All that stuff came out in trial. Like, they all were talking massive shit

against this woman. We know that one of the ladies Connected to the cop family where the after party was happening had googled after Karen Reed had left the Ho long to die in cold ho long to die in cold. Yes, and that was a big deal that kind of swayed the People swayed the jury for sure really if you want to if you're ever thinking about killing somebody, you know Do all your text messages months ahead of time all your Google searches months ahead of time He is do it at the library at the library also

I mean this and you know, we hate giving tips to criminals but Write it on a piece of paper. Burn it. I would also, two more talking. Less texting, because the cops also incriminated themselves on text, and one of the big things that kept happening was that the main investigator would arrive, he would, there would be no evidence, and all of a sudden he discovers something new.

And so that was the stuff like it had been raining and snowing and was all this horrible weather but then somehow all of this perfectly the shattered light from the back of her her the back the shattered back headlight from her her brake light on her SUV that glass is found all of a sudden just sitting kind of lightly on top of the snow where it should be under the snow Yes, and then there's also the we but she there's no evidence to show where she got her brake light broken

Sounds like it was a full-on fix. So it to be on it's just kind of a wild thing The idea of beating a bunch of Massachusetts cops in court Yeah, is it doesn't happen and it life is gonna be hell now. She has to move. She'll leave, yeah, she'll have to leave Massachusetts for sure. Probably, but also Karen Reed, it's an example about how like she was a financial advisor. So she had a lot of money.

So she managed to get herself out on bail during an extreme, at a high mark too, which is most, like one of the hardest parts of people, because obviously the internet really did help the social pressure helped, which is she got out in front of cameras. She was like on 2020 and Dateline and all these things she had her own TV show. She got to put her case out in front of the American people because she had the cash flow to get out of jail. And also I watched that ID show or whatever, the one that's on Max. I don't

know if it was ID but whatever, who cares. It seemed like it was a really bad idea for her to be doing that. Oh yeah, no it's always bad. No one should be, you should not be talking in front of a camera. But it worked for her. She's... Obviously. That lady's pretty smart. Karen Reid's pretty fucking smart. Karen Reid's...

And she's likable. Yes. She's smart likable she's got that she's got a great attorney and You know and the people saw the people saw so now that she's not guilty Are they gonna go after these do we still have we have still have a murdered cop here? I believe they are all I know that they were all suspended. The investigator, I forget his name, the head investigator was so butthurt about all of this. He was like, just kind of talking about how, you know,

like, oh, you know, it's no way you could possibly, uh, uh, kind of formulate this kind of, uh, big plan. And it was like, you guys did it over text message. Yeah. You talked to each other about how you were gonna logjam this woman and Maybe you cops should maybe know They read the text messages. Yeah, and then when they go into court

It's gonna be I don't tell ya you're gonna need a killer to sorry cops Unfortunately, yeah, if you wanted to get away with this you should have killed Karen Reed as well And then probably killed a couple other people as well. I mean I'm just saying if you're gonna go in for one in for penny You're in for a dollar. Yeah, no um yeah, so let's see what happens because I feel like they kind of have to go after these police Officers now. Oh, they don't got to do anything Yeah, because they could just say that I think that they're all suspended right now everybody suspended I think that they're gonna let this go to sleep After a long period of time and then they'll just kind of come back

They will eventually come back because largely I think mostly it's very hard to prove the corruption Mm-hmm, but it's not hard to prove that they fucked everything up. Yeah, they should at least get fired. But yeah Very very hard. Do you think about Massachusetts cops mentality? You know, I worked with the Boston police and they weren't as horrible as I thought they were gonna be it's not about horrible But it is about loyalty No matter what yes Loyalty no matter what does cut them even which we always say It's the problem because it brings good cops in with all the bad cops and that's the that is the problem

so you have to all they are never ones trying to protect each other and When it comes down to that, that's where all the corruption comes. Yeah, there are plenty of bad cops There are but also let's give more praise to our mediocre cops. Yeah, absolutely. Because like, you know, I feel like- The useless ones are very helpful. They're just in there filling out uniforms, doing their jobs, making sure that, you know, like they're directing protests.

Yeah, too lazy to hit anybody. You know, they're the guys making sure that, you know, like you're parking right somewhere. So give it up for the mediocre cops. And I really want to thank the LAPD for stepping it up and really beating the shit out of us. And not letting the military do it. No, let us, let our homegrown police do it for us. Yeah, no.

Okay, we don't need your federal response. Let the police just beat the hell out of us here because they're great at it. Yeah, and if they don't beat the shit out of us, what are they going to do? I don't know, Why are we outsourcing? This is like one of my biggest problems here is that we're outsourcing our violence when we have plenty of locally sourced violence.

These are bad motherfuckers. Guys, they can beat us and they can rape us with broom poles and stuff like that. It's totally in their sphere. They're totally good at it. Yeah. If they don't beat us, they're gonna beat someone else Yeah, so let them beat us. Yeah, cuz they'll come to your city They're gonna leave if the LAPD doesn't have fighting the firemen or something, dude They're gonna go to they're gonna go to Arizona. They're gonna start beating up people in Arizona That what you want you want you want you want please just hold it fucking just think about it for yourself

Please just hold it fucking just think about it for yourself All right now second big update and Burel Former host of worlds of worst cooks in America. Is this an update? No, it's a brand new story and Burel This is a story that I love right? This is a story. This is a woman that I have no idea I'm a person is you love her. She's a celebrity chef. It is another mark against world's worst cooks in America, the worst cooks in America. I tell you the story about how the winner, I believe of the third season, third or fifth season of Worst Cooks in America killed their daughter. So are you, like, if you're a bad cook, are you the worst cook or did he win because he

killed his daughter? I wish. Because that makes you a bad cook. That would win because he killed his daughter? I wish that would be huge. You were the lady. It would be huge. It would be huge. Was it murder or was it food? It's that you're a horrible cook and then by the end you get to be a good cook. It was the chicken fricassee that killed the nine year old.

No, it was neglect. And the mother killed her daughter that won worst cooks, right? And we all thought that's the worst thing that Food Network's ever gonna have to deal with. Yeah, right, because they deleted that entire season. It's so funny. Really? Oh yeah, they buried it.

They buried it, forget when it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was Ariel Robinson. In May 2022, she won. It was, um, Ariel Robinson, 20, yeah, from in May, 2022. She was, she won. And, uh, yeah, she, the child died from blunt force trauma. It's very sad. But I still don't know, is she the best of the worst

or is she the worst of the worst? How does the winning of worst cook go? It's got nothing to do with murdering your daughter. I know it's got nothing to do with murdering your daughter. Mostly it's got to do with cooking. But I'm just saying, was she the worst cook or the best of the worst? cook or the best of the worst She was the best of the worst. Okay, that's the idea. That's why she won

She her her cooking one most like essentially most improved. Oh, okay So Anne Burrell hosted this for a long time and then stepped away from it Well with Duff Goldman, she was working with this and then she had a working relationship with Duff Goldman For those of you don't know Duff Goldman. No idea who this is the cake boss, right? Oh, okay. I know cake boss. I didn't know he had a name though I thought it was just cake boss Everyone has a name. No, I'm wrong. Oh my god. I'm wrong The whole fucking world is gonna come for me. That is I'm wrong. The cake bosses buddy Velasco Okay, Duff Goldman is cake rapist.

What is it? The same thing? Cake, cake pedophile was the cake predator. The ace of cakes. Ace of cakes. That's what I meant. That's what I meant. And he...

The ace of cakes. The ace of cakes. So he did this show with Ann Burrell and then they kind of like broke up. Duff Goldman and then he made this weird ass fucking response. I mean after she died after she died I this is the first thing I want to say because now there's like I tell you what life's no piece of cake No, especially not when you're a fucking a big fat chef because sometimes what happens is the cake is the thing that killed you Unfortunately, but also I don't trust a skinny chef and I only like my chef set on the verge of death So yeah, that's life. And so this is the weird thing that Duff Goldman wrote

I've written and rewritten this post so many times in the past 24 hours and I don't know what to say It's never a good start and I became friends in 2006 She was going through some stuff and I heard that she was feeling it So on a trip to New York City from Baltimore, I had made her a cake that said, don't let the bastards win. She never did. We had a complex relationship. And I remember the last conversation we had

before our paths drifted. With the last conversation we had before our paths drifted. All right, what does that fucking mean? Isn't it supposed to be the bastards get you down? Yeah, I don't know. Maybe he didn't have enough room on the cake. I think it's a smaller cake. Yeah.

I know. She said that they had a pretty feisty debate about the merits of catfish. She said the words trash fish, it tastes like mud and called him cake boy. Okay. And I always had a spirited and somewhat acerbic back and forth. I never really knew why our paths drifted, but I always hoped that wherever she was and was doing well and finding some happiness She had to put the catfish thing in there this whole thing is just so like just rambling

It's just this way, but so now people are like so she was found dead in her shower right naked Clothes in her shower that'd be way weirder would be right be, right? Yeah. But it's hotter when you're snaking. It's sad. I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry I'm doing this. No, no, it's fine. I'm lashing out. And so, Amperelle... I think died of suspicious circumstances.

Okay. There's no evidence pointing towards this. TMZ says possible overdose. Of course, and I align with them. Well, you know, it's weird. At all times, I align with them. I hate them, but they're usually right. So it sounded like something bad was going on. She's got she's got I Want to talk to your manager, but I've just smoked PCP here. Yes, so she's just got that ability

There's something about her. She's always had an edge to her. Well chefs love drugs. I get it, you know You got to stay up all night. It's a long shift hard There was a guy, you know, the guy who took over Chef after me, I remember I came back to check on the place, and I opened up one of the coolers, and there was just like cocaine on top of one of the Tupperware containers. Gotta keep it loose.

And it's just like, first of all, like, it's just gonna get moist. What are you doing? Like, it's a bad place for cocaine. I think a guy wasn't, let's just say he wasn't thinking with his front mind. No, he wasn't. He was a really bad chef.

Yeah, he was a bad, and that's the main main issue is that probably mostly is that his cooking was bad Yeah, you could do as many drugs as you want as long as the cooking is good and she was a good cook, right? She was fine. Yeah, I have a neat I never ate it any of her restaurants yes, she had a restaurant in New York and I forgot where else she had one and then an barrelrell, but like you know, but she taught many people how to cook Many celebrities some of you've been your worst favorite celebrities. Oh, yeah, fill it and good time lounge That was a big one that that closed she had some problems with union work. Okay, too She had some problems with the Union. Oh, so she's a B. She's got some stuff going on in there

I mean, I hate that if you're a chef like don't fucking take advantage of your cooks. It's just the whole... That shit's crazy. She's just... There's a lot going on in there. I think she might have been, weirdly, a very troubled woman. Okay. We'll find out. We'll find out. I hope we do. But you love dirt. I got all my autopsy pictures, and I'm gonna go through them.

That's my goal for the weekend. That's what I'd like to do. Oh, man. My other goal for the weekend. You like Disneyland, right? I love Disneyland. It's one of'd like to do. Oh man. My other goal for the weekend, you like Disneyland, right? I love Disneyland. It's one of my favorite places in the entire world. Now have you ever thought about the idea of you and Julie renewing your vows?

You know, I was gonna ask Julie to marry me at Disneyland, but for lack of a better word, I found that to be gay. No. Ha ha ha ha. So. Well, it does make you a Disney adult. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like then you're fully a Disney adult.

If you rap. Now I'm like a fan. I guess I'm kind of a Disney adult. You like Disney enough. But I would say, but I am thankful that you didn't do that. Yes, no, I'm glad I didn't do it too. Keep your love separate from IP.

Yeah, I didn't, well, I didn't do that either. I did it, I asked her to marry me at a Fleetwood Mac concert. That's not IP. That's not IP? No. That's ICP. Imagine that, I'm all dressed up like in Saint Clown Posse, singing Rhiannon. Fleetwood ICP is incredible.

Melanko. Melanko. Family, family. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it. M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O

M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O M-L-A-N-K-O I let ICP watch my dogs. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would not let. Lizzie Buckingham, near my dogs.

Nowhere near my house or my family or my wife. Yeah, yes. But I bring all this up to say, it sounds like Disneyland, people love to get married there. Uh-huh. Including pedophiles. Now this story is a, I am loving this story right now. Okay, I need you to explain this to me,

because I don't know how this story got past me. It just showed up Okay, so um now a British man Who was not gonna be named? I guess they keep saying for legal reasons I think this has to do with like a because he actually didn't do anything wrong not yet, okay There's lots of wrong around but yes nothing Necessarily happened yet. So he was 39 years fun, everybody's favorite age, the sexiest age to be.

And he set up on this elaborate fairy tale wedding at Disneyland Paris, which I actually kind of thought, that's where, I thought Paris, you could get married to a child. I thought that it where it, I thought Paris, you could get married to a child. I thought that it's, so I thought it was very European to get married to a child in a castle. Don't they do that there a lot? A couple centuries ago for sure.

Yeah, and last week. So this guy, he rented out all of Disneyland Paris for 115,000 euro. I would think it's more. Because it was only a section of it. It was the, it was a part, higher part of the Disneyland site at Marnevalet at a cost of 115 euro. And he invited hundreds of guests.

Okay. Right, they had all these guests and. So he's a popular guy? So people started arriving. Disney apparently had no idea. Yeah, I guess it translates 170 about 175 grand okay in US dollars, so they go All of these guests are arriving hundreds of guests from from Paris and hundreds of guests from the Ukraine Really eventually these people start saying like oh, you know we were just told to be here for a wedding these people start saying like, oh, you know, we were just told to be here for a wedding.

Turns out everybody that's coming to this wedding is a hired actor. All of the people from Paris were extras that were hired. They said to watch a show, right, to be a part of a filmed wedding. Then they found all these Ukrainian people that are also all hired actors that are all pretending to be family of the bride. They're all saying that they're there to play Family of the bride in a filmed television show wedding Well, we all know about all the actors in Ukraine pretending as a war going on I mean, that's all they do all day. Yeah, you think oh you have any idea how hard it is to fake blow up your village How hard is you might blow it up. That's what I said. Why are we using all the CGI?

But this guy, so this 39 year old, yet to be named, he introduces his wife. They're going to be ending the process at dawn, right? Because that's when they allow you to have the park, is at dawn. That makes sense. It's a nine year old. So it's this nine year old from the Ukraine that has been brought in with a fake mother and a fake sister that have brought this nine year old in. Now, according to this man, this British man, the only thing that he's guilty

of is wanting to create a magical afternoon for a little girl and that he was going to marry her in this Prince Charles Cinderella style. Prince Charming. Prince Charles is I guess yeah no what you're right you're right I'm keeping it you're right no you're actually correct. Prince Charles marries a nine-year-old style and everyone's like it wasn't until finally one of the paid extras went to Disneyland and they saw this whole thing going on. They said, they said it was all like this. We don't know until they saw the nine-year-old in the full bridal wear.

Right? Coming down thing, which is also like, we had a great time planning our, you know, planning a wedding is very stressful, but it's also fun, but it's extremely stressful. Can you imagine how difficult it must be to plan a wedding with a nine year old and extras? Just extras are always wandering off. They switch their mind one day. They're Elsa. The next day they're the lady from their Tomb Raider.

The next day there's something else. Right. So you never know where these nine year olds sort of stick it in trying to get a nine year old to choose plates. Oh yeah. Just trying to get him to sit still long enough to be like, listen, you're going to be my wife soon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need to pick out forks.

You got to bring the iPad. You got to, oh, you got to bring an iPad and a lot of bruschers. But you're love tasting the cake. Who's going to walk her down the aisle, Bluey? I think that, no, they paid. What you do is if you're marrying a child at Disneyland Paris, obviously, you haveile hire a Ukrainian sex worker to pretend to be her

But I love this that they it wasn't until they saw the child right they saw the child and then everyone's like oh No, and they went to Disneyland Paris And I would have loved to see the look on the face of the Disneyland Paris Employee dresses lay goofy with I guess cuz like it goofy there and Paris and goofy these dicks out and stuff He's like a red rocket. Oh, yeah, he's a full sexual harlequin goofy He's got the full like he's got you can see his nipples he speaks like wine yeah and Tell him that guy I

Think the man's getting married to a child I think that's the wife that's I was trucked in here, and I believe that that's the wife and they hear them they go Yes in here and I believe that that's the wife and they hear them they go oh no yes but it's not a real wedding right no it was supposed to but that's where he kept saying but it's not a real wedding guys this is the thing and he said you're you sound like his lawyer got married guys. We never went through with it. I've got cold balls Yeah, but the thing is like what is it's very upsetting and it's horrible and this man should be beaten in public But what is the crime? What you know like?

Someone's got a pro boner lawyer for you Like someone's got a pro boner lawyer for you. He has a history of this. Yes Yeah, like like pedophile stunts same as pedophile. Oh, yeah, that's a thing man. He's a he's a pedophile with that X Factor Oh, he's a pedophile. That's got a little submextra. It just sounds like he likes show the dream pedophile humor That's what it seems like he's more of a fan of right he's described as a known pedophile Walked it in the UK. All right. I take it back I take it all back immediately The episode extreme pedophile here It's just a funny pedophile gag We can't. We fucking can't. Oh god, I have the idea of just doing,

it's just a funny, pedophile gag. It's a mix-a-mups. I mean, it's not a mix-a-mups when you hire staff. Yeah, that's the thing. It's not a mix-a-mups when you've gotta do the six month lead time rental fee to get Disneyland Paris. Can I tell you something that I'm more upset about still

to this day, is that when I was a child one day I'm at Disney World and it was five o'clock came by and then they're like hey listen you gotta leave because Elizabeth Taylor bought Disney World and she's having a birthday party. I actually. I'm gonna say this. That made me really mad when I was a child. I just want.

It stuck with me and I never forgave her. I need the audience hanging here with me for a second to understand that. That is worse, subjectively. Yeah. I never forgave her. I need the audience hang in here with me for a second understand that Did that is worse subjectively? Yeah, then this UK pedophile because they didn't kick anyone out of Disney This is just an extreme pedophile humor. Yeah, it's just an extreme pedophile Thing that happened Wow is so famous you didn't even get to go you didn't it's so famous the day that you didn't even get To go Eddie. Yes, I know I know it's very I was very mad about it Here it is February 27th 1992 I was 11. I was 11 tortured by fucking Elizabeth Taylor You know what it's bitch cut my Disney World Day short truly one of the worst parts about it

Was that they could definitely tell look at the difference in the microphones. I was supposed to be for the bio I was supposed to be for the vows. So the staff didn't know. If they put the tiny microphone stand there, that means someone knew. The tiny microphone stand is evidence. Do you think the UK guy came in and was like, alright listen, my wife, I don't want you saying anything about my wife. Mi fiorente. Listen, my wife, I don't want you saying anything about my wife, my fiancee, my fiancee. I want

to say anything about my fiancee, alright? I just want you to understand. She's a bit short. I don't want you saying nothing about her. She's not like a little person. I mean, she's a little person. But she's not a capital L, capital P, little person, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's small. If sheall sign yeah yeah yeah but she's small sure I should be small is she small oh you're being small just you know don't even acknowledge it if you could she's sensitive about her super sensitive about being super short very sensitive so where were her real parents I think

they're dead oh we don't know we have no idea what happened to her parents. We don't really know what happened. Ukrainian. She's Latvian. Latvian. Where is that? I think it's to the right. I never hung out with those people. Some more of Eddie's extreme pedophilia. Yeah, I don't know where a lot of us. Oh, it's by Lithuania. Yeah, I always knew that. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, just oh just a couple clicks south of the stony. Oh, okay. Great. Yeah, you know, you love this down here Poland Oh definitely. Mmm. Yes. Oh god pierogies. Thank God didn't mess with the Polish here. I'm gonna get you lunch Yes. Yes, something's going on. We gotta get you lunch. Yeah, it's one of those I got I'm feel I feel like that too I guess I'm just thinking about the catering of this wedding mmm Tex-Mex

Nothing nuggies and Mac and cheese so what happened to this nothing happened to this man though, right? It all go broke it up, and then everybody just got disbanded right now And the investigation continues okay? That's with all the both ends of both of the articles I was looking at say and it was in France, so I imagine they gave the kids cigarettes and sent him home I'm pretty certain they gave him kids cigarettes and sent them home? Pretty certain they gave them a glass of wine, they allowed them to drive home. Yeah.

You know, I think that in Paris, it's just, but yeah, I think the main issue was is that nobody was told and nobody brought a gift. Wow. And I think that's one of the biggest issues they said was when they canceled it. It was just because in Paris, normally they are are fine. Oh, what's that say? I can't read it.

The investigations, including the medical examination of the minor, a Ukrainian national showed that she had not been subjected to any violence or cohesive acts. Yeah, she wasn't like a t-she's just been, apparently, the way this guy was pitching it was that he was doing this as some beautiful princess-like moment for the little girl to have.

But that's like, you do it, I would even do it with another little boy, but why does it have to be a wedding? You definitely don't need, yeah, it doesn't need to be a wedding. It could be like you conquered Arendelle or something. Honestly, and yeah, with pedophiles, keep that out of it and people won't be that interested in it. If it was just a party, nobody would have known. Yes. Again, there's a big issue. We said about when you call something a wedding, they upcharge. He's been charged with fraud, breach of trust and money laundering and identity theft. Yeah, because he pretended he faked all the stuff. He faked all the paperwork. Breach of trust is a crime in Europe? Yes. Interesting. Yes. It's one of the worst crime someone can do

It's like that being a hypocrite. How many years you get for being a hypocrite there? Yeah, it's very honestly It's the worst crime you can do there. Well, you know outside of marrying a child almost marrying a child You know who really doesn't like? Children who Irish nuns, you know? Because they found 796 dead babies executed, uh, or, uh, Executed? Expected to be found hidden in a septic tank at an unwed mother's home run by nuns. Now, is there, can I, this might be an insensitive question,

but is there like a chute to throw them down into it? I imagine like is it one of those things that they pop the boardie out or they pop the thing out like are they doing? Bortens or this just is these just kids that have died many of the infant remains are feared to have been dumped in a cesspool known as the pit The totally good people's in problem theater. Yes, that's right Where we started our careers Wow a total of? 798 children died at the home between 1925 and 1961 That's a lot. It's a lot, but I told that's only saying that they died by their hands or do they die?

Naturally and then dumped in a pit. It seems like they may have died by their hands There's no way to know just yet the other seven hundred and two chill two of the 796 were actually buried the rest of them Were sent down into the septic tank Wow I was right there was like a to shoot Yes, they do threw it down like a parrot like a bunch of laundry like old like old shirts Yes, the bond secures mother and baby home was demolished in 1971 is now surrounded by a modern apartment complex Oh great The apartment complex is haunted by little babies That's fucking crazy no it should just be secure mom's home

It was it wasn't super secure for the children The home was a maternity home for unwed mothers and their children run by religious Order of Catholic nuns and Irish Catholics did something bad. I know isn't it crazy What the fuck Eddie this is wild so they were killed But I feel like they're gonna probably say a lot of these babies were like dead already The unmarried pregnant women would be sent to home to give birth and would be interned for a year to do unpaid work. They were separated from their newborn children and would be raised by the nuns until they

were adopted. Yep, that means it's like when you send a dog to go walk, run in a field everywhere and they just turned it into an Ottoman or something. That's literally that version of that. Is that wrong? Is that offensive? I mean, you know, this whole thing is very upset. Yeah, everyone's very... Ottoman or something You know this whole thing is very upset yeah, it's ever was very I imagine people are super upset. Oh, yeah I mean especially when you find seven hundred and ninety eight victims Margaret Maggie O'Connor gave birth to one of the babies

Named Mary Margaret at the home when she was... Whoa, Mary Margaret! Yes, well that's probably the name of half of them, I imagine. Oh, yeah, sure, sure. But she was a victim of sexual assault, and she gave birth, and then the girl died six months later, and the mother only found out when a nun told her. So they don't really know if the nuns

were killing the kids or not, it seems like. Well, yeah, it sounds like the nuns, let's just say they were trying to find a way to, to, didn't come back on them, because nuns are sneaky. kids or not, it seems like. Well, yeah, it sounds like the nuns, let's just say they were trying to find a way to didn't come back on them because nuns are sneaky. Yes. Nuns are liars. They told you that the child of your sin is dead. Yeah, that is like literally at nuns are little nuns are sneaky little fucks.

Nuns are liars. Then nuns will do whatever. Nuns don't want you to have a baby. They want you to be a fucking they want your vagina to seal clothes. Yes, they originally would call the women of fallen women Oh, yes. Yes, and they were called fallen women mostly applied to sex workers, but they also took it took the term seduced women Victims of rape or incest that's really like the idea of calling a woman that is a victim of rape of incest a seduced woman Is such a fucking it's very very cruel. Yeah, this is extremely cruel

The last of the Magdalen laundries closed their doors in the 1990s Ireland's government issued a formal state of apology in 2014 and in 2022 a compensation scheme was set up to be paid out an equivalent of 32 million dollars to the 814 survivors. They're fucking 32. They're just going to pay them off, huh? I mean, they've got to do something. I don't know what Catholic Church loves paying people off. I mean, they got plenty of fucking money. That's for fucking certain.

I went to Catholic school growing up. It was all run by Irish nuns, and they were crazy. They're awful. There was a couple that were nice, but Sister Kathleen hated me. She gave me a detention for talking in the bathroom and sneezing, and then Sister Dolores hit me. And I never really talk about her hitting me because, you know, whatever, you know.

Yeah, I mean, it was just back in the day. Yeah, it was a little corporal punishment. I recently went back to the old St. Joan of Arc school, and I was like, oh, you know, just nostalgic. I wanted to walk around the church because I hadn't been there in like 20 something years or whatever. And so I'm walking around and I go into the store

because the church has a store. And I go in the church, I was like, you know, just like- Don't they already get enough fucking money from us every fucking week? Amen. You know, we don't need, you know, I agree with you. But I'm in the store and I'm sitting there, I'm like, yeah, you know, I used to go here.

You know, what happened to the nuns? They're like, oh, sister Ellen just passed away. I couldn't believe it because I thought she'd been dead forever. I was like oh, yeah And she told me some of them are still alive. I was like that's amazing I was like what about sister Dolores and then that's the handwriting teacher that hit me without me saying anything She's like, you know, they say that she hit the children and I was like she hit me Man say what do they say to you?

Yeah, so I can go ahead and confirm that for you give me $20. Yeah, I want $20 right now That's what I would say. I don't you guys like giving out money to victims Yeah, but they sent them all back to Ireland I wonder if any of these chicks knew these these these women which is which is very crazy. Yeah, well, yes 798 dead babies expected to be found. Do you think convents have? Competitions amongst themselves how many babies they can rack up. I mean this one takes the cake. I think I don't know There's wasn't there one in the eye another one in Ireland that had like a can Can I get another one was a huge amount of babies just like just same thing was just a giant refuse pile of babies

Yeah, yeah, I mean it happens. It does happen. It happens No one took the time to look at this shit forever go no one's checking on these nuns, you know Everyone just believes though. I get it No, tell me and like these kids are being born and they're not being logged You know, I would like to get all right God, what yours ago this shit's different if you want me back Catholic Church Hire me I'm gonna fucking get all these guys back in shape

I'm getting everybody back in the shape. That's what I'm doing All I want is I want my nuns to be lesbians for older women I mean there are a lot they I want my I want my priest to either be unable to have sex due to issues, like literally they can't physically have sex or they are so closeted and strange that even just touching another person will make them cry. That is how I want my priests. I want them so afraid of human touch and so afraid of human engagement that they would never do anything that bad and then just keep to

Fucking making shit up every week on the back of that that that podium. Yeah Oh, that's why I'd say work on your sermon every single time you want to go suck something go work on a sermon Also, I want chick priests when these nuns obviously they're they're doing they're too much Oh, I know is that I will say chick priests is not gonna keep They're doing there too much. Oh, I know is that I will say chick priest is not gonna keep altar boys from getting from getting sucked on unfortunately because how many chicks Have like like it's been a whole rash of younger women teachers Coming out being revealed that they've been like, you know

News but I guarantee there's way more men doing it. Well, the men who do it, it's way more, it's kind of the opposite where there's men do it and it's a whole, like, obviously they're a predator and stuff. It's just until the last, like, 10 years that a hot female teacher can have sex with a 13-year-old and people can be like, you're a pedophile. Like, it's so hard for people to do that with one of those types of women, too, because it's taken so long for us to not go up to the 13-year-old and go like, yeah, kid, yeah, now we know that, no, he was raped. Yes, no, it was a big deal. Yeah, so yeah, so of course, you know, don't go to Catholic school.

Hey, if you could, I mean, unless it's free, but some Catholic schools- It's not free. No, but Catholic schools are better than some of the public schools in certain areas, but that doesn't mean you should go I feel like then and when it comes down to it school hard knocks join circus You know, I I went when I went to Catholic school. I eventually told my parents like at sixth grade I was like listen I'm gonna fail on purpose if you don't send me to public school No, you did a great and then correct and they sent me to public school and you did the god

That's Gandhi's version of passive Resistance it was easy to convince my father to I was like I want to go to free school He's like you got it son. I hate God just as much as anybody else, but not as much as this guy Now this guy I wanted to talk a little bit about this guy. I don't know how this guy went under my Radar is this an old story you told me about it today. I have this new the article So you got to tell me about it brand new Adam Christopher sheaf When he did this he was from Maricopa County From Flagstaff, Arizona best city in Arizona

Mm-hmm, and he broke into a pastor's home and crucified him to his wall, and then he pulled him off And then you found him dead in his bed. Wow, it's bad I mean, I just a lot of effort. Yeah, I mean you got to bring a stud finder. It's all god. That's the worst part Yeah, I'm so bad at that. Yeah, cuz it pointing back to me hey now William Schoenermann was dead And but the thing is that it is really intense is that it's the statement from Sheaf okay, that is true I'm gonna send this to you. I'm gonna send this to you Rob I forgot to send this to you, so when did this plan come to fruition? You're thinking about this, you want to carry out this hit list?

Yes. A hit list? Sure. 14 pastors. That's right. Around the nation. To surround the nation. Starting in Arizona?

Starting in Arizona where I was born. Where it starts is where it ends, like the Garden of Eden. I start in Phoenix where I was born, on this life, and I'm going to end in Phoenix where I was baptized, which I don't appreciate, when I was three years old by my parents. You know, I'm baptized in a belief that is completely false. So you get to Phoenix. I get to Phoenix. I just set up a tent under a tree on Olive Street, and I followed that priest home Sunday after Easter service.

And when he pulled into his driveway, the two women came out of the garage. I'm not interested in executing anyone other than the pastors or the shepherds leading the flock astray. I need to find pastors or priests that live alone. See, he's intense. So this guy is real real intense his plan was to crucify 14 pastors, okay, but he only got to one he only got the one, you know It takes it makes a lot of noise because it's just and it sounded like it was really hard And he said that his main issue his car broke down. No

That was like super which is again and that is the thing that people always forget Auto maintenance. Yeah, and how if you got big plans in life, it's super important. You stay on top of it That's why we think our partners over at Nissan that we're gonna be giving sheaf of brand new Priest finder Finders are one of the coolest fucking new things. The Nissan Ultimatum. Yeah. But the, I did say people like this guy, people like this pastor, and- Was he, he was beloved?

He seems like, he actually looks like a nice guy. They all say that they were beloved, but he won't get- He's got that cool hat, he's got that little Santa Claus beard on. He is adorable. He does look adorable. I'm sorry that he got killed. He didn't need to be on. He is adorable. He does look sorry that he got killed He didn't need to be crucified. No. No, he looked like he was just easy to catch I mean it we have I think that that's what that's what the man was going for

Yeah, but you know, he was foiled he couldn't he can't crucify again and now unless a priest comes to prison There's plenty of priests in prison. Oh my god. That's a fun day. Yeah That's a funny, you know, if there's a priest in the prison as a prisoner, they're definitely fucked Oh, yeah, but the one that comes to give sermons, you know, I'm sure he'll be protected You might be but chief says he wants to death penalty immediately. Oh, so he's very much So that is a man that was very sure of what he wanted in this life Yeah, and he made it happen for himself. And you know what I'll also say it's kind of nice is that like yeah, obviously like no one's like super happy with this but It's a wild showed that Adam sheaf who was 51 years old. He made his dream happen at 51

Yeah, you had a goal and that's like a thing that a lot of people discount Said he just like yeah, he does have some Hebrew on there. It's a good is he's a lot of mixed discount. Is that Hebrew on his neck? Yeah, he does have some Hebrew on there. He's got a lot of mixed messaging in his tattoos. He's angry. I don't think he was thinking about the overarching theme of his tattoos when he was getting them. But I'll just say, you can start at 51. I think that's the biggest thing you could get out of the story. Yeah, I mean, Gene Hackman started in his 40s,

you know, I mean, he's a- Grandma Moses? Grandma Moses, Rodney Dainfield. She started killing pastors when she was 77. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was huge, like, that's crazy. This guy is very serious. I'm surprised this isn't a bigger story.

I think that people- If he would've got another one, it would've been. a bigger story. I think that people. If he would have got another one, it would have been. Just one more and somebody would have cared. God, I just would have kind of got one more. Yeah man, this is very, this is wild. I can't believe this man did this.

I mean, he crucified him in his own home. Crucify him. See, when you say crucify though, I would expect a crucifix. Now you see crucifixion, I think that that's why it's kind of like. Not fully there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's you know, because yeah, obviously, Eddie, you should add a crucifix. You got to. That would be cool. It takes more time.

Oh, but I'd leave it him even more. That's for certain. Yeah, I believe in it. Yeah. No, I think yet also you got to get some some tall trees in the backyard if you're gonna crucify someone and not get caught You know, you got to make sure that there's some coverage. Can I get some privacy bushes? Yeah I've been really good. There's kind of one again. I'm starting a crucifixion and I want to start though You know the first crucifixion will just be animals. Let me ask you so give me too tall But have you started your crucifixion yet? Because if you haven't I'd love to help kind of consult on that Yeah, we do a lot of gardening, but we also do a lot of Religious based tortures as well. Yeah, are these are you considering a rope crucifixion or a nail?

No problem we could do that Well, you know, we're gonna look at a bit of, but you know, it might increase some of our costs, but... Now, do you need Romans? Yeah, I hate Italians! Um, all right, you wanna tell that silly story? Yes. Tell a silly story. See, this is like good hearted fun for me.

Oh, yeah. So, this is a Dart hearted fun for me. Oh yeah, so this is a Dart Pro user. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. This is a great story. There was a man who won a controversial Dart contest. A Dart contest. How he won was controversial. Because he loaded up stinky farts on the man on his opponent and then he won because everyone knows You like the smell of your own, but you don't like the smell of someone else's but this is truly it's devastating

It's not illegal. I don't think it's they can't they can't they're trying to like fight him now because they're saying that he won the championship They're like trying to like take it strip him of it I say he's like the champion now, but you can make a rule for the future if there is any sport where crop dusting as a an offensive measure or defensive measure I think this more defensive measure yes and it's not darts then I don't want to watch darts or be a part of darts that is is a bar sport that hinges on farts being loud as a part of it. It's the only sport that you can smoke and drink while you're doing it. And you can smoke. The old days, have you ever, I've fallen into holes of watching old darts competitions.

It's pretty great. I love watching all of it. And it's just nothing like seeing a big, fat, crooked tooth cockney bastard Just like no physical be big huge guts sucking on a beer snide and just sort of beat a champion Yeah, you know like it's incredible. It's incredible life now. Can we play one of these videos? Yeah, yeah, so this is the first time that he did it a couple years ago, and this is the first clip of that On the am I'm a nice tigas couple years ago and this is the first clip of that. And we have a real veteran duel. Bring it on. James Wade against Peter Wright.

He is smiling from ear. Peter Wright is letting it go. His competitor looks like Ann Burrell so That's where she was so James Wade won it and James Wade He did with your kind of scrub if you can't really hear it necessarily, but you can hear it a little bit Well, maybe pull it up after yeah He throws the darts in and then as he's walking toward to collect his darts. He lays a Massive fart. fart on his competitor. It was a juicy one, yeah, you could tell.

And the competitor's mad, he's angry. Like, you can see him, he goes, ah, fuck! And the smile, the sweet, satisfied smile on his face. So now, this is the second time he's done this? The second time is a little more offensive, I have to say. As someone who's a fan of this guy immediately, I will say the second time he did it was a little egregious. Yeah. See he like holds the table on that one. You

know, he really braces himself. Yeah. So that's the problem with that one. I think that it's too much of a setup. The other one was so it was mid stride. You can almost feel like I had the fart. I had a fart. What are you going to do? I was holding it in since the last go. But this one, he like took time, went over to the side, grip the corner of the table and then late and laid it loose. So that is, I would say the second one I don't agree with. That's the closest I put towards like that. He's messing with stuff. I feel like the second one I don't agree with that's the closest I put towards like that he's messing with stuff I feel like the second one he is what got him in trouble I think so I think the first one was brilliant yeah the first one was

well done and this is just to you know what this is you know what this is this is deflate gate but for darts yeah right because they all do it yeah right they all do it right everyone was doing the deflate gate, but for darts, right? Because they all do it. Yeah, right. They all do it, right? Everyone was doing the deflate gate stuff. Everybody was messing with the balls. Everyone's doing this stuff These guys fart and shit on top of each other all day long. There's no way they don't it's all about the egregiousness and Making an example out of someone and so when it comes down to it is that if you are the best of the best and you're Still farting then we really have to think about this. Did Tom, did Tom need to really go that far in deflating the balls? I mean it helped him.

It made him a little bit better. But everybody does it. And he won. Yeah, so it's not a big deal. Everybody does it. I mean honestly, I don't think it's, unless you put in the rules no farting, also if you put no farting in the rules, then go fuck yourself also. Also, I can't fucking fart. This is a drunken a drunken sport, but I hear farts are a real thing

I legitimately if I was UK and I am mm-hmm I would set outside of the dart Competition I would do this legitimately there should be square taped on the ground Where you can fart oh interesting and you can go and fart and burp and curse or do whatever, smoke your cigar in the smelly square. And you go in the smelly square and you hang out there and you can do that and you can do all that while you get it all out. And then you go back into the darts because then I think

now you're going to need a fart ref. Yes. I mean, now you're going to need a guy because again, that's flagrant. Can you say time out? I'm going to call that a flagrant. That was a flagrant fart ref. Yes. I mean now you're gonna need to guide because again, that's flagrant Can you say I'm a flagrant that was a flagrant fart a fragrant? fragrant fragrant fragrant fragrant But I'm also not angry with him because you know what my daddy taught me when W is a W that's right That's what my fucking daddy said My daddy said fucking you get up a winner

and you have that trophy and then all the losers can fuckin' eat your fart juice. Yeah, no, he is a champion. And you can't say he's not a champion. That's champion behavior. Yeah, no, he's a winner. I appreciate this guy. It's champion fuckin' behavior.

Never stop diggin', never stop goin' for that itch, never try to make that cut, you gotta make that cut. Yep, so I'm with you, buddy. Congrats, I'm real proud of you. James Wade, come on in. I would invite you in if I wasn't worried about you farting so much. Oh no, we're having him over Zoom.

Yeah, he's a Zoom interview. Can we get an interview with him? I could try, I'll reach out to him. Let's get an interview, because I'd actually love to know more about, I think that professional darts are the funniest of All of them. He's pretty big. I don't know if we could get him, but I'll try the professional darts cuz he also cuz have you seen the Professional cornhole. Oh, I love professional corn the guy with no legs

I didn't see I don't know about that didn't like champion a cornhole right now is a guy with no legs my left foot guy No, he is all right foot this guy's got nothing Yeah, this guy ain't got nothing. He's nothing but stumps. Oh, yeah all hands and arms Which is the only thing you need for corn is he what is he in a chair? He had no hands and arms either Nope, you're saying I didn't know no hands no legs Cornhole champion Wow he's alt the man is literally all torso and dick whoa, and he is a champion corn holder He's better than any one of you. Well. He's he's closer to the hole. No. He's not He's on the same line. It's the same line. He's got that. Oh, I didn't know he had no hands, too

That's what I'm saying. No hands, dude. Well. He's got no hands. No. Oh, yeah, look at him flip that shit I mean he'll make your wife come I would feel so bad beating this guy. No, you can't because he fucking that's what he's using against you He beats everybody else though. Yeah, he's using it against you. He just got another one and he jumps forward, too I don't think I think this guy's no, they're allowed It's look at the other guy cuz he's carrying it across the line anyway with that your foot can't cross the line He's whole everything crosses but not until after the things released It's not till after the cornholes released buckets though, dude. Come on. Yeah, I think he's cheating You're gonna fucking walk up to the man with no hands and no legs and it's fucking crushing it every day

It's just more of your extreme pedophile humor You would laugh at this man with no hands and legs. As he's wiping the floor, not just with his shirt, where he's wiping the floor with the competition. I would honestly though, he's on the ground. If the farter went against him, he would definitely win. He might die.

Because he's right at fart level. Yeah, he does. He's right there. Yeah, he did a fart attack. Oh my God, I think that... Oh my God, we gotta bring them together. We do. This is also, if they could do it as a team too.

Yeah. Oh yeah, this would be amazing. Dayton Webber, shout outs to you Dayton Webber. Dayton Webber, dude, what a fucking champion, man. He really is. See, I was making fun, but he is a fucking champion. No, he is a fucking deck guy. Look at that stack of money, it's cornhole money. Oh my God, he's got a big old necklace. I love this. Yeah, of course, dude. Of course he does

Hell yeah, no, man. This man mate like that's insane. That's fucking crazy that he can do that. How did he lose his limbs? I apparently it was just irresponsibility quad amputee I want them together. we should have a sports we should have a sports roundtable where we talked to all of these sportsmen I like this talk to this style sports Joey chest that's coming back this year Joey chest on it's gonna be fucking champion again I can't wait it's time for eyes knew that seat was empty for far too long I will will say, when Tyson came back, not as good. When Jordan came back, not as good.

Jordan was distracted by all the gambling and getting his father killed, and then the stuff with me and Joey Chestnut, I don't know, does the muscle relax? I don't know. I didn't realize how much of a champion he really was. I thought it was just a hot dog thing. I didn't realize he owned like Like dozens of food

Consumption titles. He's no he's good at it. He's got clams all that shit big fucking tubes. Yeah, he sucks it down shrimp No, what do you what item what food item do you think you could take you can go hard on? I can't eat fast, but I can eat that's like I don't like the speed yeah, but for a mount I Can guarantee I've eaten I eat a I can eat a pound of shrimp just me yeah, I bet you I could eat five Yeah, no, I think I could eat three to five pounds of shrimp I think shrimp might be the thing I can do the most of chicken and chicken wings chicken wings see chicken wings I get full shrimp. I can just keep going. I almost don't ever get full on chicken wings chicken wings see chicken wings. I get full shrimp. I can just keep going I almost don't ever get full on chicken wings

I'm always slightly hungry after I've eaten a basket of chicken wings really yeah Wow I keep a bunch more I definitely get full on chicken wings, but I think the shrimp. I mean should we do this no I would love to take you on well. We should talk about this for summer ham summer ham. Yeah shrimp contest Yes, yeah, cuz summer ham, we skipped Summerham last year, and I don't think we're gonna have time to do it this year. No, but I'm bringing on a whole thing, it's gonna be one of our big phase three things. 2026?

Yeah. 2026 Summerham. Oh, you don't know, we're doing Summerham, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so keep your eyes peeled. Henry and I are gonna have a sandwich-based competition. I guess Shrimp Po Boys could be in there. I just want shrimp in there. Now I just want shrimp.

Yeah, now I want shrimp. This has been a very food-heavy. It was from you and now I've you infected me with it I ate before coming here. Yeah, no, no, I sevened listen. We got to end this we have to I'll just get to these letters next week. Yeah, yes, it was letters next week I got a couple letters here, but we had so many fun stories that one wanted to get to him Yeah, we even forgot about the angry beekeeper and they he was driving drunk and the cops pulled him over and then he had leashes bees On them. Yeah, which is an amazing ability. I mean, that's the whole story. That's the only story That's amazing you got them too. Oh, yeah, of course kids cops ran. Yeah, that is the I will say

Again, we ain't giving you a lot of tips here bees fuck cops up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so if you've got Hundreds of bees. Hmm. There's a lot of stuff you can do keep them in your car. Yeah They have to be ready to loaded. They'd be loaded and angry wasps are better No wasps actually are not better. What do you mean? They're not better wasps are not better beers are better for it for Attack, I believe I think a big crowd of them. Yeah Wasps are more angry than side stories LP O TLG mills are friends I know that but I also don't know which let me just ask

Yes, let me ask the veterinarians that are trying to find a way to get away with better cops fucking old. Yeah I know I know and tomorrow just can be a little younger But you know I would appreciate live every day trying to be the youngest entomologist that's ever been Love the fact that you're nine and you love bugs And you don't want to get married to a 39 year old man unless he's really ready to commit Right because you're not laughing at his extreme pedophile humor you came all the way from the Ukraine to get married And now you're angry because you're in Florida and it's hot and you want to get back to the war And you are sick and tired of being in this hotel room

Because it's facing the parking lot and you hate that we hate the view and I get it. So Sorry, nine-year-olds. Yeah. Listen, we're going to be in Atlanta this weekend. Come out to the side story shows that Dad's Garage sold out. You're fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I saw.

But the night before, on the 28th of June, this is, I think, Saturday night, we're going to be at the Coca-Cola Roxy in Atlanta. Come check us out. Henry and I got a show at wise guys in Salt Lake City on July 11th. And then the following night, we're going to be doing last podcast in a left and Sandy amphitheater on July 12th, August 7th, Asheville orange peel selling out fast. Asheville love you, Asheville. Yeah. So if you haven't, if you want to go to that,

almost fully sold out. That one's actually almost done. So get in there now. Um, September 21st, uh, Henry and I are going to be at Truman hall in Kansas city, crime wave at C dot com slash left to go on our cruise. Um, we're going to have a lot of fun there. That starts on 11th, third out of Fort Lauderdale, uh, November 3rd out of Fort Lauderdale and November 30th, Henry and I will be in Columbus at the newport Music Hall having a blast there. Truly. And just so you know, this week is a big week for me on LPN. I'm on a special LPN Romanticie, Who's the Bee? And we have so much stuff coming out for you guys.

Go on all the Insta-Socials and all the horseshit. And we will see you next week. All right. Bye you dirty fuckers. Bye you fuckers. You're so dirty, you fucker.