Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Deadly Snow

Episode Date: February 11, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a disgruntled neighbor fatally shoots a couple in a snow shoveling argument, the Joker of Nottingham is captured, an Amber Alert says Chucky is missing, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Man, man, butts can be big. I'm not going to start the show with butts can be big. Butts can be big. They can be little too. If you watch professional, if yes, strange, little and big all in one Polish form. If you had a chance to watch Monday Night Raw, which I know you didn't because you're not tough enough to watch the children's show. No, Monday nights I wear condoms. You have sex with a woman while I was watching Monday Night Raw. And Nia Jax took a bump on the turnstile and she stood up and she said, Ow, my whole. Oh yeah,

I heard Ow, my whole. That's like the new rallying cry for the WWE, right? Is Ow, my whole. Truly, I watched the, I can't believe it. Now we're heading into kind of fun territory, but I watched the Royal Rumble with you. Yes, we had so much fun. That was fun. But man, those guys get a lot of fucking damage to their holes. The whole has to take most of the weight and the gravity of all of these falls. These are guys are real athletes. They really are athletes. And to be fair, unlike you, they have a little meat around said hole, so they don't land right on it. But if you're a wrestler, oh my God, you would literally have to dress like the people that the weekend had dancing around him because you would be in surgery. I would have skin graft

solar for my body. No, I straight up, I'd rip my butt cheeks off. If I fell from a far enough height, they would just rip for my fucking hips, dude. Two loaves. Anyway, welcome to side stories, everyone. Ben hanging out with Henry. We had a wonderful time watching. We did watch the Super Bowl this past Sunday. We watched the weekend and that's that. I can't wait to hear what Jackie says on page seven because I'm going to say it was a little drab. It was fine. It was like a scene out of it was like a fever dream from somebody who was in a coma who was trying to fantasize like what would a halftime show look like? And that would be it from the weekend is what I every time I hear a song from the weekend, it's always like that feeling of like, oh, I'm about to start

crying in a bar like that feeling. Seeing his face was kind of disturbing because he's got a nice voice, but he's got an awful face. And he can't. He's obviously very handsome, but he's not a good performer. Like he just stands there. He didn't dance. He didn't pop lock. Like he didn't do. I thought that he would do like a bit. For some reason, I figured that the weekend would do the robot more, you know, or something like the robot. Well, when you think about a weekend, you think about having friends over. But in this case, he was just alone the whole time without any costume changes. There was no one there except for all those weird insane silent people around him. I don't know what was happening because the weekend sometimes you're not just

alone. Sometimes on the weekend, you have a couple of girls tied up in a room that you don't allow anybody in there. And then maybe that's the day you allow them all like one lick of ice cream from a cone just simply just because you're like, hey, hey, hey, I know we're everybody's crying. Everybody's crying. Why don't we smile for 15 minutes? Another reference to Ariel Castro. And once again, as we said when we talked about that story, if you know someone who has a house and one of the rooms you're not allowed to go into, you go into it, you go into it immediately break down the door and you too could become a hero and maybe even referenced on this show. And so hey, break into a home and don't break into a home break into a break into a room. You can find

out you can find out a lot about your neighbors by how they react to shit. I have my neighbor this morning tell me oh, he had the gall to tell me that the reason why cars park in front of my house before I could put the garbage cans out there is that I don't put the garbage cans out on time on time. Damn, I don't put the garbage cans out on time. And it's like number one. Am I here to be fucking observed by you? I observe you. Oh, this is my street. I really what you do. You don't observe what I do. Yeah, I did have a confrontation with my neighbor yesterday. She said, you know, it's illegal to burn trash. But I was just burning wood. So anyway, yes, yes, yes, yo, maybe she is an anti environmentalist and trees are garbage.

All right. So we actually I Katie and I talked a bunch about the Super Bowl and so check out that. But also this is not the Super Bowl. I don't watch these. The boys, the boys played gallibly. You did a fairly good job though. You said sack. You said he's running a lot like you were really engaged. I was engaged. I saw the game. I saw it in front of me. It's not just because there is not a single other bit of remote like distraction that I could make me watch sports. But now that I'm here, go boys, go. You did a pretty good job. And of course, the Super Bowl 31 to nine. I personally feel bad whenever I watch games with Henry and most of my friends who hate sports when the games are bad. I'm like, I'm sorry, guys, but I didn't do it. The football, the football

needs women in it. Well, there was a streaker that was the closest we got, even though it was a male, but he was a male. But why can't there be like one like every powder person that's a woman in a bikini, encouraging everybody, they have to wrestle. Like maybe there's like a thing where like two women can get together and they have like a kissing competition to see who gets the ball. Like and the kissing competition is who falls in love first. And then everybody's chatting. Kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss. 69, 69, 69, 69. Like the scene from Requiem for a Dream, but with more money behind it. Well, I think that idea is probably going to go on the chopping block floor because it seems a little problematic in certain ways. But you know,

they do have. We're expressing appreciation for the wonderful fertility of women. Isn't that great? Well, they're all so good for more than just birthing, aren't they though? Yeah, absolutely. I agree. Well, you know, I mentioned, thank you. You know, I mentioned otters. What do otters do? Well, a friend sent me a message. Thank you guys. Apparently they're necrophiliax and they're serial killers and they're fur monsters of the sea. And I just didn't know that. So I don't know. That's why I think it's so important to separate the art from the artist. Yeah. Especially when it comes to river creatures. I try to look past all of their, oh, you know, because they've changed. They've grown. These otters have apologized. Yeah. I mean, it's just in their nature. It's toxic,

toxic otterlinity. And I don't like it whatsoever. Apparently. That's a good joke. That is a joke. And I loved it. I loved it. Wow. In 2011, a study found that there was 39 attacks on people from otters. So anyway, they're not to be messed with. They're super cute. But why are you there where the otters are? Let the otters have their home. It's just a lake, I think. I think more people should have vacation in hotels. I know that you do. I bet I am taking you glamping. We're going camping and we're going to have a good freaking time one of these days. Okay. I'm just going to put the fucking, I'll put the fucking cramp and glamp. If I go out there, it's going to be a fun time. This story that we have coming up, it's going to be fun. I can't, I can't fucking, I can't

wait. But this is a story that I, that it's kind of near and dear to my heart, being from Queens, having to shovel snow on the behest of your father, right? Because it's one of those things where the father, my father felt it was a masculine thing that I was forced to go outside and shovel the driveway. Oh my God. You're just complaining. You eat all the food. You live for free. Go shovel the freaking driveway. But that was his main masculinity test of like, he's like, you go out there and the big thing is you want to get some hot water. You want to put it on the car because at the time my dad had a convertible for a short period of time. I'm not far from the tree. In Queens. Oh yeah, of course. And I had to go out there and scrape the ice off of it and

you went out there. It was like all this kind, all this type of bullshit. So I can understand. And there's a territorial war happening on the streets of our big cities when it comes to snow, where it comes from. And sometimes it leads to fucking murder suicide. Dude, this story is completely insane. And I am with you. People, the snow makes folks go crazy. Crazy. And that's definitely. I hate this now. I hate this now. That's why we left. Well, I am not a huge advocate as well because in New York, it snows, but then it just becomes real muddy, real fast. And it's not even the fun. Liquid shit. Yeah, basically. It's just rivers of liquid shit and just lumps of gray soot covered like snowman abortions. Yeah, litter the fucking street. It's very depressing.

It is depressing. And for some reason in New York, everyone throws their trash in the snow. And then they think it just disappears or something. So then for two months. Oh yeah, April May as everything falls. Disgusting. But this story again, murder, suicide, that's what's interesting. This comes from the PA homepage. This comes from this. This is Plains Township, Luzern County in Pennsylvania, of course. Please say an investigation on covers what actually happened during the dispute that turned deadly between neighbors on Monday morning. This is why Henry, this is why when your neighbor comes out to you and says, you should put your trash out earlier, you say, yeah, sir, and go back inside because you never

know. No, I say, what if I come over there? Oh, my cans need to be put out. I'm going to take your fucking can and I mean the one attached to your fucking legs. I'm going to take your fucking can and I'm going to put out in the street earlier. You're going to put his penis. You're going to take his penis and put it out in the street earlier on trash cans, but or his press fucking cans. I don't know is a butt and tits. I don't know why I thought of a big barrel penis. I have not been around people. You really have not. You need a you need breakfast or something. Anyway, after receiving a 911 call about shots fired on West Berg Street, Plains Township police arrived in the scene finding James and Lisa Goy deceased outside their home.

Oh, please also found, please also found Jeffrey Spade, a neighbor deceased in his home from an apparent self-inflicted gunshot wound. So we have further investigations. Yeah, let's do this. Please were able to speak with witnesses and gather video surveillance of the neighbors and according to losing count, according to loser in County DA's office, Spade, was shoveling snow from his driveway while the glades were shoveling snow off their cars. Okay, then they happen to be or see this. He they use the term dumping dumping dumped the snow from their cars onto Spade's property. Now they said, oh, I imagine four Spade very well is the perpetrator, but it's all jumped at you. The snow on my land. Oh, you got it on my land because it comes down

to it because now we're heading to this whole world because who owns snow because him. He said, you're putting your snow on my lawn. But Henry, it goes back to exactly what we were talking about earlier. If it was easy to shuffle, if you could blow it away, who cares? All right, snow is a colossal pain in the ass. But when snow is new, snow is light, but you're not giving them snow, you're giving them work. That's what that's the problem. Yes, you're right. You're right. You're right. And we're all already so we're all very high strong right now. Well, you know this guy, you know, this guy here, he probably has got an Etsy account where he's trying to sell the dead rabbit skulls that he continually hunts in his backyard. Maybe business is booming and he's

already busy. And now all of a sudden you're giving him more work to do with shoveling the snow. Or he's in the tobacco industry and he's mad that the tobacco industry is getting blamed for all these COVID deaths. He doesn't understand. He doesn't know why. And so they say Spade asked them to stop, which started an argument between the two parties. Mr. Goy, allegedly through the tool he was using to clean off of his car and approach spied on the street cocking his fists. So this is old timey. These I don't see how old these people are. I don't know how they're old or not. But apparently, so we already know he had this scraper. So he drew the scraper at him and then went into a 1920s like, come on, mister, come on. He went to a full on official fight stance. Oh,

no. Spade retreated inside. The Goy's proceeded yelling at them. So this is Natalie and I, of course, we believe we've won. We've chased the neighbor inside. The two of us high fiving each other sexual tension at its peak. So you know, for a fact, we won another street war. So you think the Goy couple at this moment is feeling really good about themselves. He went up, he put the fists up, the neighbors retreated. He feels they feel like they have a win. Okay, we suppressed, we suppressed the threat. Please. And said, Mr. Goy, what seems to be in a step too far, then threatened Spade and his scene, according to video that they got from the street, from the CCTV video, making obscene gestures at him, which means it wasn't just one. Okay. It means it was

a middle finger. It was a bafangul. Oh, it was one of these, one of the under the, especially if he's real Jersey, he comes underneath the chin with the bafangul. He does the, hey, oh, yo, the fist thing where you take the fist thing, hey, baboon, baboon, baboon, baboon, baboon. He probably said bababooie, bababooie a bunch of times. Maybe he did. He could have made reference to suck it. He could have done the socket motion degeneration acts. Very good. He could have perhaps put his hand in a cylinder form and pretended his view was giving fellatio to certain to say to reference that that person indeed does suck dick. And maybe that person would not like that to be implied about them. Maybe not. But even though dick sucking is a pleasurable experience, isn't it?

It can be. You couldn't do it. That's why you're why you're what you are, because you couldn't suck your mommy's teeth. So you couldn't get the milk. That's okay. So all of this said and done. We think, oh, we've won. All good. All good. Spade. He returns outside with a handgun. Oh, in which until the boys acknowledge the handgun and continue yelling from the street. I like this reporter saying the knowledge, the handgun. I see you went in, you went in there and you came out with something you didn't have before. Whoa. It seems like a gun. Is that some kind of spoon? Oh, it's a gun. It's a gun. And then Spade, he comes back out. He prills out the gun, they acknowledge. Then he just fucking shot them both in the fucking chest. Oh, my God.

He just shot them on the street. Spade is then seen going back inside of his home. It doesn't say if he's pumping his fists or doing some form of touchdown dance. But then he comes back with another weapon and he fires again at the boys. And then he retreats back inside. They saw him, a witness saw him pacing back and forth in front of his window and then he blew his own brains out. Well, it seems like it was not a good day to mess with him. I mean, it sounds like he was really on his edge. I think that he might, he might have had done one of those things. You know when you like make a perfectly good sandwich and then you drop it? Oh, it's the worst, especially when you're really waiting for it. Yes, sometimes what you just got to do is you got to get as

much fucking bullets as you can get under your belt and you have to go out and make the whole world feel like it's missing a sandwich. Well, you could probably just make a new sandwich. They're so easy to come by. I highly recommend not doing that. Some kind of artist. Perhaps you are, by the way, the subway sandwich. It's very conflicting when it comes to what is the two range and it's the whole conversation. The discourse is just fucking out of control because we've had people straight up tell us the tuna. It is tuna. They've seen it in their thrown hands and what they're supposed to do is they take up to two to four cups of mayonnaise and they have to massage it into the brick by hand, which again, that makes you an artist.

But there are some people saying that the brick is so, the brick of tuna that comes is so unrecognizable as tuna is that they would not personally believe that it is tuna unless you show them the seismograph. I don't know how you show something that is tuna or not. I don't know. I think it's a seismograph. I think you have to put it, show it to a cat and see how it reacts and if the cat's like, whoa, then it's real tuna. If the cat eats its own fucking vomit. Well, only if they've eaten too much tuna and then it basically just tastes like the subway tuna sandwich, doesn't it? That's cute. So long story short, be very nice to your neighbors during this time of peril. Or shoot them first. Don't shoot them. Take care of your own snow.

Take care of your own snow. Or where are you going? Just let the snow be there if you don't have anything to do. It could ruin your paint job and it can also get you because of the salts that get in it from the actual very sky. The pollutants in the snow can actually ruin the paint on your fucking car. I think it'll be okay. Listen to me. Listen to me. This is a man that has been so You don't even have a roof on your car. All you have is convertible. All you have is convertible. All you have is convertible. I'm new to English. That's all I need, man. Man, I don't need a roof on the car. That's why I wear so many hats. I know what you do. That's why I can fit in your car. Thank you for not having a roof.

But honestly, people under a lot of pressure right now that I do understand. But again, no one, let's get a little Pocahontas here, Fern Gully here. No one owns snow. If someone is moving snow around and unless they are specifically going, hey, bitch, and throwing the snow onto the front of your house, that's an active sign of warfare. If snow is just kind of flitting about from someone probably pissed that they have to scrape their car gets on your baby, have a moment of grace. Yeah. You know what? Moments of grace, the harder to come by than they need to be. We got to show grace and just don't shoot your neighbors and don't don't be rude to your neighbors because you never know when today is the day that we're planning on committing

suicide anyway. So what's a few more? Can I say it's it's not okay to kill your neighbors, but every once in a while it's okay to wing them. You can scare them. I don't think there's a problem. Warning shots are essential. Every neighbor needs to be slightly scared of their neighbor. That's called keeping peace. Yeah, that's holding a community together. Absolutely. It's holding it together in mistrust and a big blanket of paranoia. Speaking of food, I was on my, you know, I like to do my Instagram stories when I'm just alone and I really want to feel like people are around. Yeah, I saw how they make caviar for the first time on a show called Food Factory. Well, it comes from a fucking surgeon, vagina. Yeah, it comes from their ovaries and they

gut out the fish and then they take its entire reproductive organ and they scrape it over over a hard surface and then the eggs will drown. When that show alone, they find a pregnant fish. They're so lucky because all those extra nutrients in there. So you cut it open from its vagina to its neck like it's like a Santa Cruz co-ed from 1977. And then you pull out all the eggs. Right? Because those eggs, they taste good and they're highly nutritional. Yeah, and not only know it, I've purposely watched videos on caviar being like, and I find it delicious. I was about to vomit. I've seen how they kill cows. I've seen how they kill pigs. It's brutal life and death. It's not pretty, but I've never seen something as disgusting as them gutting. First

of all, the way that the man courted the surgeon to get it into the net, he almost tried to have sex with it. And then the surgeon is killed and they're like, it was humanely killed, which just don't even tell me that. It just, it was killed. So you can't really do that humanely. It's not possible. It's like being together alone. And then the way that the eggs look, though, and then they literally take it out of the thing and then they package it right away. But you're saying, you're saying all of these things, you're talking about one of the most expensive, I know, exotic, delicious ingredients that exist. $12,000 for like a freaking day of business. Fuck game stock. Fuck short stocks. Fuck all that shit, dude. We need to buy

sturgeon and start selling. I mean this. In our tubs? Where are we going to keep them? I got it. We can get buckets. I don't know how hard it is. I honestly think a caviar farm might be a good way for us to make some side money. So our money makes money. Our money needs to make money. I guess I should not have been, I'm not so, I guess I'm not surprised. I just felt like if I could inform you how they got the, how they, they murdered, that they obviously understand that. Although for some reason I didn't think they actually had to kill the fish. I thought that the fish just shout out the eggs and they would grab them, but it was much different than that. That's weird. And then everyone was just, it's the way

it pops. The way it pops in your mouth. Have you ever had caviar? Yes, it's disgusting. I'll never have it. So good. Why? All right. Well, I don't know. I don't know. We are literally the opposite of spectrums of human beings. But I posted it and then everyone's like, it's really good. But we don't need protein. We don't need protein. We must have protein. No, I know, but you can get it by so many other things. You can go get a freaking caviar. So good. Well, it's like Nat and I talk about it all the time. We both have exact polar opposites to the things we watch when it comes to food, where it's just like you, she watches something like that. And to her, it's Texas Chainsaw Massacre. To me, I was more, I was more hungry for barbecue,

watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre than I was hungry for fish. I smoked some wings last night of eight a dozen by myself. Oh, good for you. Anyway, all right, I just wanted to bring that to your attention and thanks to everyone who really came in and aggressively, not meanly, but aggressively defended caviar. It seems like it's one of the most defended of all foods because man, it's nasty. You don't got to defend it. It's just there to eat it. That's what I don't like. Again, also, you don't have to defend the food. How they get it the first time. Some of this time, you look at food, like you look at a cow and you're like, Oh, I get it. People see that and they take a big bite out of it. Who are the first person to suck the caviar out of the stomach of

a fish must have been a sadist who was killed in the town square. Starving or understanding them. Well, I'm eating the eggs of these other things, right? I'm eating the visible eggs of a chicken. I'm eating the eggs of a cow, which turns out to be shit. You're eating all of these things and the eggs come out. And so this also has got eggs. I got a bunch of brown eggs from this cow. That's not, you know, they do live birth, right? This week's episode that we're covering some of the poetry that he wrote is him talking about eating the wet beef that comes from the ass. Like he talks about like shit eating all the time. Very interesting. I know. He's the GG Allen. I can't wait. Well, I guess the we'll get there. Don't say the name. We'll never say the name.

All right. We'll never say the name. We will. We will because we're going to cover them. All right. Well, speaking of stories, I want to do this one from Nottingham and it's not about a bad prince. Oh, it's about did you see the story? The air quotes Joker of Nottingham. Why do they call him that? Because he has the face paint of Heath Ledger's Joker, which is fucking absolute dork, suck ass motherfucker. Look at this guy. He has been jailed after dropping a bowling ball on a council worker's head, leaving them with permanent brain damage. The man's name is Damien Hammond. He was high on a drug called Mamba when he targeted his victim and he dropped a bowling ball from 14 feet up. He was found guilty of causing grievously, grievous bodily harm with the

intent with intent and he was sentenced to 16 years in prison. This is more cratum stuff. This is more of that fake weed. Yeah, dude. It is a modern retail. It's modern retail synthetic cannabinoids. Oh, my God. Real fucking shit. Get real shit like we do February 22nd. Looks like we're about to drop some fucking sweet, sweet vape on you. That's real shit. We are so excited for that and truly do not mess with any of these things. The spice in Harlem when I was living there, it was overrun and of course, New York still doesn't have legal weed and I'll believe it when I fricking see it. Okay. But there were people it was it was an apocalyptic hellscape. So it seems like this guy really got into the mode of Joker, although to be honest, Joker,

he never did drugs. Joker's crazy. He doesn't need drugs. I mean, Joker was also a fake super villain. This is a fucking, there's a word I want to say. This is a guy that is a cosplayer. He's a cosplayer. The 31 year old shouted from his flat. So this is how it goes comes down. This comes from the independent UK. The 31 year old shouted from his flat that he wanted the item before dropping the ball wrapped in a pair of jeans from his first floor window, 14 feet up. Yeah. And then he had a two hour standoff with the police and he said, if you come to my flat, so it's all British. So it's kind of cute, but it wasn't cute because the guy's permanent brain damage, but he had a two hour standoff with the police. And then finally, I guess he got tired

and he jumped out of the window. He said himself on fire. He set himself on fire. He jumped out the window. This was on December 30th, 2019. This is a back. That was when he dropped the bowling ball on the dude. The guy had a fractured skull and caused a brain hemorrhage, but he still didn't die, which actually is very interesting to me because it's a home alone injury. Yeah. And of course, if home alone was to be taken seriously, it is a horror movie, which is why I love it today, yesterday and tomorrow. So the guy set himself on fire. So he really, I have to say, he really was into being the Joker that day, though, wasn't he? Yeah, I guess. And you have to give him a little bit of credit for that.

No, I don't want to because the Joker's so hack now. Like it's so hack like he's anybody could dress up as the fucking Joker. It's not that interesting anymore. We've already done it. We've already got a couple of people that have killed people, dressed as the Joker. It's fucking. It's so pre quarantine. But this guy is okay. You said it, buddy. You just angered a lot of frickin jokers out there. Listen, the juggalo community knows that the only true sacred clown of chaos is the Great Melancholy. And anybody else is technically just a copycat of the Great Melancholy. But the way they said it, because it makes me crazy, because the judge, James, when he sent it, they sentence when they sentenced him to 16 years in prison, which is well,

this is this happened almost two years ago. And now this is when he got sentenced. He said, you are a volatile individual who will almost certainly offend again, because apparently Hammond, he has a history mental health problems. It committed more than 100 of offenses over the last 19 years, dating back to when he was just 12 years old. So obviously the guy wasn't all there. No, he's not all there. I wish he thought of a better avatar than the Joker. But I mean, who am I to judge somebody who decides it wants to be a super villain? You know, we heard a story a few maybe it was a few years ago about a woman dying in Manhattan after a brick fell on her head from a building. That is one of my way to go. This is one of my fucking nightmares. Like truly

that is one of the scariest things to me. Like the idea that you don't see death coming. It it just wipes you out. You had no you had no plan. I know that technically it's better than it's probably better than turning into a 75 pound like piece of balsa wood with cancer. You know what I mean? But still, at least I get to plan. Yeah, when you when I'm finally at that level, I'll be able to dress as the Joker because that's when it'll be fun again, wrap it back around in my 70s dying of cancer. Then I can dress as a Joker and start upper decking the hospice. Just one last fuck you. You know what I mean? Just to have fun. Well, I think that that would be actually a great thing for you to do. And if that's the worst that you do in retirement,

won't be so bad whatsoever. People start an interaction. Absolutely. Here's a there's another story that we have now seen a couple of these come out. But this is it just shows there's a little bit more going on when it comes to the world of UAPs. We're getting into science. We're getting into science. There's something that is a little bit more involved with this idea that they whatever it is that they are watching in the US Navy now knows and has taken seriously and has said many times, they have been taking UFO incidents more and more seriously. And now we're starting to see that they might truly actually have been taking it very seriously because why? We talk about all time like they are they interested in finding out what these aliens

and what they know and and what wisdom they can give us? No, they're looking at these crafts and they say what kind of weapons can we build from this shit that we're seeing? And this is an example. That's just the straight truth because then we get down a Wi-Fi. We get the trickle down of all the fun toys after the fact. They might also be trying to figure out how to market young Sheldon to them. There might be some monetary gain. If we can get them on board with Disney Plus now, you can imagine the user base expansion. Embryo Sheldon. I think that's just my new pitch. So this is the story again. Headline is interesting. It's a great it's a got your headline. It's comes from Vice. So, you know, it's great. It's interesting. It's interesting story. U.S.

Navy has patents on tech that it says will quote unquote engineer the fabric of reality. Now this is from Matthew Galt. The U.S. Navy has patents on weird and little understood technology. We've covered this before. So they've said this they have basically a bunch of what are like fantasy well extrapolated patents based upon theoretical science where they say let's let's preemptively patent shit that looks like could be machinery based on science that we are currently on the fringes like working on. I'm going to call bullshit. Don't you have to invent it before you get the patent can't you be like I've invented shit that turns straight to gold. I would like the patent. Where's the proof? This is yet. Hold on a second. The story is corroborating that they have some

something that is working with it. Oh, okay. So there's a like courtesan patents. They're working in a compact fusion reactor that can power cities. An engine that works using inertial mass reduction, which is how we're seeing those U.I.P.s fly right the idea that they could stop on a dime and and and go in opposite direction. The hybrid aerospace underwater craft also based upon this behavior of the U.A.P. is the idea of something that can go from submerged to the air without losing any speed. That would be incredible for them. And there's one man who's at the center of all of this. This person that believes who have apparently built some prototypes of some of this tech. This is Dr. Salvatore Caesar Pius. Okay, he works for several different branches of the

Navy and one is a strategic systems programs the SSP. The SSP mission according to his website is to provide credible and affordable strategic solutions to the warfighter. Affordable to who? Not to you and I. Yeah, yeah. What does that mean? $35.95. $35.95. You too can destroy Russia. That would be incredible. The patent, I don't, I'm actually not anti Russia. I mean, in the end, they, they, they, them in China, they hacked all of our bolsters that easily. Good on you. I guess you win today. That's what happens. The mischief lords over at Russia are very, very, very capable. I used to like the footage of Zara Zabrowski trying to meet with Vladimir. You want to go sing and dance for Vladimir? I am opus for purchase for the Russians and the Chinese.

I'll be the gestures. I'll be the gesture for the emperor. Do they still have an emperor? Basically, they basically do. They have a leader for life. That's for day, I'm sure. So this is their core is this thing, the pious effect, which is this idea that he's invented and he's putting forth, which is this, it is a controlled motion of electrically charged matter via accelerated vibration and or accelerated spin subjected to smooth yet rapid acceleration transients in order to generate extremely high energy, high intensity electromagnetic yields. What does it mean? No, no, no, no. I, I, my, my knowledge of quantum physics begins and ends with the Bill Hicks, the ride, which is just a joke. Really, that's him talking about how

things go up and down like a roller coaster. Oh, yeah. Because I'm trying to read this one quote from this person. Oh, no, I'm going to, I want to read it to you. I want to read it. I am utterly, completely like what you could try to understand it. So this is all again, all of this sounds like horseshit. And apparently the Navy also said it sounds like horseshit. And so the Navy authority said, no, no, this patents are going to, they were because he submitted all of the shit. But apparently he went through enough, he went through enough like actual testing of physical material that he says that that some of this technology is operable. And so we, we apparently, and so on some level, he has shown people within the Navy that his should actually works. Now,

this is what he says. This is the fact. This is what he says, like, you know, is playing his day. It's coming from a peer reviewed. This is from the Institute of Electrical and Electronics Engineers Transactions on Plasma Science. And it's, oh my God, even the name is like, you have to have a PhD to say it, or at the very least remember it. Okay. So the fact in my work in the design of a compact fusion reactor was accepted for publication in such a prestigious journal as the IEETPS should speak volumes as to its importance and credibility and should eliminate or at least alleviate all misconceptions you or any other person may have in regards to the veracity or possibility of my advanced physics concepts. Do realize that my work culminates in the emblem,

then do realize that my work culminates in the enablement of the pay's effect, original, psychical, common, original, physical concept, such high energy radiation can locally interact with the vacuum energy state, the VES, the VES being the fifth state of matter, fifth essence, quintessence. In other words, the fundamental structure foundational framework from which all everything else capitalized, everything else capitalized, space time included, and our quantum reality emerges. The engineering of the pay's effect can give rise to the enablement of macroscopic quantum coherence, which if you have closely been following my work, you understand the importance of. Alright, so I'm not going to let you lambast me. I'm actually going to ask you, what did that mean?

Um, it goes fast and my boner gets big. I'm the ultimate scientist. We all think of ourselves as people who can really listen, we're fairly good with linguistics, and we're pretty smart in our own ways, aren't we? Yeah, but I don't know what that man just said, and I know that people did understand what he said, and I just no idea. Uh, side stories, lpotlgmail.com. Again, please email us, try to please email us, try to describe or explain what this means. But in my mind, what he is saying is from that gotcha headline, which is what he's saying is that playing with the very, very fundamental forces of physics can allow us to fuck with them. I just found out that otters have sex with the dead.

So that's where I'm at. It's national pizza day. That's what I learned. It's national pizza day every day. I don't follow any of that stuff. It's national pizza day. Yeah, well, Kato, you would just mean so much to me and all your fans here at the hospice. If you could just go, hey, kiss, my name is Anton, and I'm dying of cancer of the smile. And nothing would make me more, more appreciative, Kissel, than if you just on this national pizza day. If you could go ahead and eat about two whole pizzas and put it on the internet, that would inspire me. So you're into, you're a feeder gainer, and you want me to be the gainer, and you're the feeder. Can't you see how sick I am? It's national pizza day, Kissel.

Just for you, I'll eat two pizzas very slowly. Do you want me to get messy with it? So anyway, that's all happening. Yep. Okay, great. Let's learn nothing. And there's also, there's more science, there's more science news of this. This is another thing that makes no fucking sense. They propose this is new particle that they think is a portal to the fifth dimension. I'm, I'm being like, I'm at quarantine high level. It's one of these things where you don't believe it. I'm so stoned all the time. No, it's not about not believing it. They could say whatever they want. I don't fucking know. I don't know if it's true or not. But when it comes down to it's like, I know I, I am high every day in quarantine. Right, right.

But I still am not at the part of quarantine stoned alone, where I think I could see through the particles to the fifth dimension. I don't think that you can. But if I don't know, I think you need one of those machines because I mean, this is a pretty big deal. If there's a fifth dimension, I'd like to be a part of it. I mean, obviously, I better start. I want to start a podcast network in it. They have a lot of fun, different kind of sports, I bet, and a lot of different fun things that they do. Evidently, this particle could provide quote, a unique window, a unique window into dark matter, because it can mediate a new forest connecting dark matter, and it's more familiar, visible counterpart. So I guess they're, they basically found a mutual

friend that these two things can get along with, and that mutual friend is going to have them over for dinner, even if those two people didn't like each other. I guess so. My question is, we spend so much time lauding the athletes. What about the math leads? Well, they get, they have a good time. They get money and stuff and really being scientists to fucking drag, dude, we have friends that are drag scientists. They love it, but it's a lot of work. They don't get a lot of like, they don't get free ice cream. Someone sent me free ice cream, salt and straw to the girls sent me free ice cream. That was fucking incredible. I ate all of that. I took it to the house. That was fucking incredible. Salt and straw is amazing. And we don't get paid by them.

But that's because I speak into a microphone. Scientists work really hard, and they don't get anything. But we keep them entertained and we keep them laughing. Well, we keep scientists from doing murder suicides. Absolutely. Every single time they have to describe something that's to them like perfunctory. Absolutely. If we sat down with Dr. Pais, and he was just like, well, obviously you've been following my work. And we all be like, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. So you're the one who actually brought the stuff crossover to Papa John's, right? Right. I'll be like, how did they get the cheese in the crust? There's certain, actually, that's IP that I really can tell you. But I tell you what, it involves squeezing cheese from a tube.

Well, either way, it's a big if nerds think they're better than us, man. Not the scientists. I know the scientists. I know are all cool as hell. But this guy, this guy ain't better than me, man. I love the scientists. Yeah. So apparently this if this heavy particle exists, it would necessarily connect the visual matter, visible matter and the dark matter. So that seems pretty cool to me. It's a pretty good. You know what? Because the thing is, because that we got all this extra matter around. Yeah. Yeah, good. And I will say this, when it comes to acronyms, it's much better what they have here. And then the I E E E T P S that he acted, he asked, he acted as if that was like a thing we'd all know. Yeah, no, this is being detected or this

perhaps this this new material is being detected by the International Linear Collider, the Compact Linear Collider or click, which is very nice. Click much better acronyms. So there you go. I guess there's a fifth dimension. So you're gonna want to put your arm in that. Did you see how the how Houston, we love Houston, Miss Houston, I want to bring the comedy boom to fucking Houston. To be honest, I want to bring I want to go and I want to bring our talents down to Houston. That's where we got to know. I don't know. I don't know if Austin is really going to experience a comedy boom. I think there's going to be a lot of people at the bars, though. Yes, good. It's good. It's definitely going to it's definitely going to get a like a 30 beer a night habit

by from a lot of people. This is boom. I missed though. I missed the south. I miss Houston so bad. But if you've seen this amber alert from Texas DPS, they accidentally put pictures of fucking Chucky and his son. Did you see this? Look at this. It is they put in it was Glenn. I don't know. And they said it was a mistake. Oh my goodness. So this kind of is just chucky. They put it in an ample alert looking for these two guys. This is from local news. This is click to he said it was a it was a test that they were running on a dev server and it accidentally went out. So if if Glenn, of course, that's Chucky's son or Chucky went missing, they would be aged five years and 28 years. They have red or autumn hair. Their height Glenn is only two foot three.

Well, his father, Chucky is three foot one. Yeah, both males. So if you are walking around, driving around and you see Glenn and Chucky, please alert the authorities. Apparently they have gone missing. Yeah, Chucky, I like this additional information. Blue denim overalls with multi-cultured striped long sleeve shirt wielding a huge kitchen knife. Apparently, so apparently the Amber alert went out accidentally, which means it goes on like everybody's phone, which is kind of nice. It's a little war of the worlds. I do believe that some people probably thought it was real because the mental illness has really taken a hold, I think in the quarantine. It's fun to have a mission. Like when you have like a mission, you're also fine Chucky,

but then you find Chucky and then Chucky kills you. Honestly, what a great org that would be. Also, it just reminds you that you're not a hero. That's what I always say with the Amber alerts. I'm like, what am I like that's why I were to my citizen app because it was like woman stabbed five feet away and be like nothing I could do. I love citizen apps still though. It's still fucking scary, especially in LA a lot of machetes, huh? Yeah, I saw a man said I went to war the other night. I went to Wal- really? Yeah, person was set on fire. That's horrible. I went to Walmart and I was in their sporting goods section, which is that's called machete land in my head. Yeah, that's the toy. Not one machete was still there.

Yeah, dude. There's a machete lifestyle in LA. There is. I was like, I guess I'm hip because everybody else wants a machete too. Anyway, this is what Ruben Medina says of the DPS. They wrote, he is the person who wrote the Amber alert. He says, thank you for contacting us. This was actually a test. We were running on a dev server and actually it went out. No, no. We appreciate you reaching out to verify. And then of course they apologized for the inconvenience, but technically there was no inconvenience because there was no Amber alert. So thanks for the laugh. That's what I say. Straight up. It's again, it's one of those things like with tubing and any story that's like vaguely entertaining where people are just like,

let's talk about this one, please. This is a fun story. It's just innocent and fun and cute. It's a mistake. Isn't it fun? Like we saw the video of the lawyer who left the kitty filter on his legal call where it was just a lawyer just going, I am not a cat, please. I am not. Listen, I am a man. And it's these judges not laughing, not laughing. And it's a circuit court TV. It was just one of these viral videos that came up and everyone's just like, look, it's innocent gaff. What an innocent funny blooper for everyone to enjoy. This is a story that it could be a heck of a lot worse and nothing innocent about it. There's woman was arrested after allegedly being caught trying to drown her baby in a Virginia river. But you know what I think is interesting is

we never catch them halfway through. We always find out where's the baby baby washes up. The mom did it. Okay. But he actually saved the baby. How do you recover from that? It's just dunk, dunk, dunk. And then someone sees you like, Oh, finally clean. This baby just wouldn't get clean. And I just needed to scrub and scrub and scrub. She may have been able to do that had the water not been freezing cold. So I don't think there was an excuse. It was 1030 in the morning, you know, boost because actually saw a little bit. I saw a post on Reddit that says that actually some sub zero temperatures can really help burn the immune system. So dunk, dunk, dunk. Yeah, maybe not have a seven month old. I think they already have pretty strong immune systems because,

you know, they're trying to live and stuff. They're trying to get out there. It was 1030 in the morning. Officers arrived. A bunch of witnesses said they saw Leslie Jordan. Kajkendall. Her name is Kajkendall. It could be Kajkendall. It's K-U-Y-K-E-N-dull. Kajkendall. It's Kajkendall. So that is of Prince George County. She took the kid into the fridge of water. Witnesses were like, Hey, what are you doing? She's in waste tie water and she starts dropping the baby and walking further into the water. This is not here of the week, but these people are heroes. I don't know why they were out there in the water, but thank God they were there. And then cops were like, Hey ma'am, you shouldn't do that. The baby was found and taken to the hospital.

In the meantime, members of the Hopewell fire department used a rescue boat to retrieve the woman who walked further out into the river. Just let her go. At this point, just fucking let her go. She does it. Oh God, what a shame, dude. It was 37 degrees and the water was 46 degrees. I didn't realize that Virginia got that cold. Virginia does get that cold. I did not know it was that cold. He'd be ignorant. I am about weather. Not about you having sex with children, Michael Jackson, because you did do that. I've been thinking about it. I watched, Oh, what's the hell is his name? It's a guy. It's a HBO Max true crime series that I was watching. And it has one. It has a special on like the death of Michael Jackson and talks about the

breakdown of his death. And this whole thing is the way that he got the propofol is that he'd lay in bed and go, Doctor, Doctor, can you get me some milk? And then he'd be like, I don't know, Michael, I do not know. I do not. I do not think you need the milk. And he's just like, just give me a little bit of milk. Just so I could go to sleep. Because the propofol is like milky white. And so maybe that's what he likes about it. Okay, you get a little milk. But didn't you think with the doctor? I understand. He went to go talk to his girlfriend for 45 minutes. That's what happened is that he dropped into him on a reaction to the propofol. Okay. He left to go talk to his girlfriend for 45 minutes. He came back and Jackson was dead for

fucking 45 minutes. What did you think about the doctor being charged? Did you? I don't blame you. You are, no matter what anybody fucking says, you are a doctor. Your job is no matter what. I am one of those. He's going to know it's Michael Jackson. Lot of money telling you. I know for a fact I will offer a doctor money to do things for me in the future. But it is your job as a doctor to say no and walk out and then you leave your stethoscope outside and say, how about you call me Mr. Carter? What if Michael Jackson dies because he didn't get his propofol? And next thing you know, then now you didn't do it right again. Because a propofol is an anesthetic there is he had absolutely, absolutely, literally no reason to have any of it. Okay. All right. Well, I don't

know. I feel like I feel a little bit of empathy for the doctor, but I get it. In the cops when they're listening to him because it's the chai like when cops do the dumb thing during interrogations because like the guy because they play it and they're like, here I'm going to give me some milk. So tell me doctor was it, um, he was like the 2% or hot milk or warm milk? No, no, no, the milk is propofol. Cops, the cop, when a cop jokes, you're the punchline, you're the punchline and he's looking at time to be in prison and they know that it's not. They know that it's not milk, but it is really to hear them go through the process of just like, was it an oath milk? By the way, worst Super Bowl ad, the CEO of Oatly putting himself trying to get me late and trying

to lay a 14 year old girl. I don't know what that was. Do you remember that? When he was playing the piano, he's the CEO of Oatly, you know, all of his employees having to watch him anyway. I also want to give a shout out to the people that the six people that again doing their job in America, trying to make a smile that were arrested for changing the Hollywood sign to Hollywood. But nothing is better. To be honest, though, I will say Hollywood was a funnier sign change. No, no, well, I'm sorry. I just feel like boob is a funnier word than weed. You're right. And that's what I'm giving it. They try to they try to elevate the fucking center also still holding out for fucking jetpack man because jetpack man is there.

They keep trying to say someone keeps saying it's a hoax or it's that it's still not fully panned out. There's one belief that one pilot believes that there is a weird man shaped drone that can fly, which is weird. Why do we have a man shaped drone? I don't know why that is. I don't know why that's around. But you know, it also with another update bummer, what's that fucking obelisks? We're a fucking ad, of course, but it was an ad for some. It wasn't even a good company. It's some bullshit company. I won't give a mention. I don't even want to talk. I don't want even a signal boost them. But it makes me so mad because there's a part of me that's like I knew on some level that the obelisks thing was ads. But also I also kind of my heart of hearts just thought

maybe it was just an art project, which I thought was really cool. But like, man, we need more like Toynbee tiles, like the people who do shit just for the sake of like fucking with the system and making you think that life's a little bit more interesting than it is. I mean, it really is the social media equivalent of be sure to drink your oval teen. And anytime I don't like subversive marketing, I don't like being lied to. I'm very much tell me what it is. I'm very much I'm going to want it or not. Yes, I'm going to like it or not. I don't really give I don't listen to commercials. That's like we when even even people say anything about our own show where it's just like I fucking skip every commercial and every single thing I've ever listened, not not on our show advertisers.

But anytime I listen to any other show, I just skip the commercials because in the end, like, you know, they're not going to sell me. But just tell me what the ads for I don't need. I don't want to go on a journey with you, Sprite. Well, that is the worst, worst thing you could say. But isn't that nice? No, of course, be very careful. I don't want to be lied to either. That's why Chris Farley, when he was like, oh, there's no caffeine and he freaks out in that SNL sketch. It's very funny. The hell. All right, well, let's get the hero of the week. Man, I am so happy to finally get to shed light on garbage men and garbage women garbage men. We love our garbage men on this show, garbage people. I think mostly garbage men. But I mean,

there's a lot. But I would say it is you guys do the job that other people that you fucking that's a hard ass job. Absolutely. So a vigilant sanitation worker, they'd recently heard an Amber Alert. And unlike us, they took action because they were able to find a 10 year old Louisiana girl well on route. Dion Merrick, you are a hero of the week. And they gave her back, right? Yeah, he didn't do that thing where it's like, well, found in the trash, I get to take it home. He's not the penguin from Batman Returns. Treasure. Sir, that's my daughter. Treasure. No, daughter, you got to give the 10 year old back. And I'm proud of him for doing that because also the people that are maligned as Henry will be the janitor is the janitor. And what's the

extension of the janitor is the sanitation worker. Wow. Wow, is it? Yes, I would not say because unless you know who's you know, who's actually direct to a garbage person, who the fucking Zambui driver from hockey fields hockey leagues, they're all in the same family. I would have completely agree with you. They're specialized trucks. Zambui, right? Zamboni. The Zamboni driver. That's my dream job. That's a great job to have everybody. Hi, you could be a star. Yeah. But you know, when you're a Zamboni driver, you also have to go over a lot of octopus and a lot of different fish because they throw them on the on the ice. That's in Detroit. I'd eat him. You could. I think you can take those home. But thank God, this sanitation worker didn't take

home this child. The child was found in a silver 2012 Nissan Altima sitting in a random field. So the sanitation worker again, Dion Merrick, he was like, what the hell is that all about? He got suspicious. He went up to the car and they found that the car was also occupied by a 33 year old man named Michael R. Cereal. He was taken into custody and he was charged with the disappearance of the 10 year old girl. People confirmed that he is that his last name is cereal or cereal. He's a registered sex offender in the state of Louisiana and was convicted in 2006 of carnal knowledge of a juvenile. The crime is carnal knowledge. It sounds like a juvenile. That's anyway. So the girl was found safe. She she was checked out. She's okay. And it's really

incredible that this man, Mr. Merrick, was able to be there and save her. This is what he had to say. He says, people act like they see stuff, but they don't want to say nothing. But she's safe now. Thank God, man, because I got a little girl. I'm on my job doing what I got to do. He's a hero. That's great, man. Good work. They threw the kid back. It was a catcher release. It's so nice to get him back. The kid was abducted by a serial rapist. And that is now back with their family because of this unbelievable sanitation worker. And they got to drive in a garbage truck. She the baby did the kid did not go in a car. 10 year old girls don't want to go in garbage trucks. That's cool. They're not the president. They're not the former president. They don't think that

like they don't I don't think that child children fantasize about that kind of work. That's why these people are heroes. And I was thinking about this the other day, because I was looking at the garbage trucks. I was watching on the highway with a sniper rifle. Fascinating life. I'd lead right now. But I went there. I watched them go every description of your life. By the way, you sound like the bad neighbors from the movie, the burbs. Every description so far is just like, you're the problem. Of course, that's my goal. Because then you know who the problem is. If you're the problem, keep them close, keep them close. You know what? I also want to drive. I was thinking about a lot. What wrecking ball. That'd be cool as hell. You don't get to go fast. It's not really

fun. No, it's not. But no, it's fun to swing the ball. And it's fun to drive it around. And you make and then especially as a garbage man, you make the thing lift up and down. That's fun. That's like fun job. I actually love the garbage man. And they are off work. I mean, I think they start really early in the morning. And then they're done by noon. So you can go get it. You can have a good time. And you honestly, you can have a BL between the knees a little bit. You can fucking give him kind of do a little nips here and there, right? Absolutely. And I think they get good retirement and they should be getting paid fairly well. And they better get good pennies because they go to butch. My uncle butch got really good pennies back in the day

in Queens, Staten Island. That's technically the Zabrowski family is from Staten Island. The Zabrowski line is all Staten Island. We moved there in the, it was like two generations ago. So we were there right before World War II. Right before Wutang, Staten Island. We were there during Wutang, but we didn't. The Zabrowskis in Wutang didn't know each other. Yeah. No, maybe one of the reasons the Zabrowskis left for Queens. No, it's just because my mom, because my mom seduced my father to the beautiful forest hills, Queens. Hey, I know how the female Zabrowski seduced. There's a great picture of Jackie and I, as a matter of fact, on my Instagram, because I had a great time hanging out with her. The Empress of Seduction. Of course,

she is taken, so don't bother with her. You disgust us. You better marry her. I'm not. No, she has a man who looks better married. You better marry her. We all kind of blend it in to look like each other, don't we? Yeah. Here we go. Here's some listener stories. You know it's from a listener. If it's a story, it's a listener story. Better performance than the halftime show. Good work. Please keep me anonymous if you could. About five years ago, the science lab I worked in where we tested many food products is to make sure we make sure it's safe for human consumption. We had Subway Tuna come into our labs. So the Subway Core has their own labs, but they need extra testing for their Tuna. So they contract other labs. Okay, so we know for a fact it's not

Tuna, because if it needs extra testing for the Tuna, it must be more than Tuna. Well, maybe it's because it's a highly volatile substance like mercury. The findings that we have found was that the Tuna has some of the highest levels of coliforms and bacteria that we ever saw in the lab. Henry, I would not recommend eating it, but then again, you got to live the life you want to lead. So it's disgusting. I still, I honestly, I've switched to an Italian. I don't trust any fast food. Can you imagine going to a 24-7 Golden Corral and getting the Tuna? It's the same thing as going to Subway and getting the Tuna. Why not? It can't be good. I eat all sorts of things. Once I'm in a Golden Corral, I'm in their

world. Yeah. And I have to say, sometimes I crave that horrible Golden Corral pizza. I miss the... It's just salt, I think. It's just sugar and salt, but it's... There's something about, it's just about the fact that a meal can be seven hours long. That's what I love about a Golden Corral. And you don't really have to, they could, they could ask it a little bit. They don't have a card. Can you imagine taking somebody, a refugee from North Korea into a Golden Corral? I think they might die. I think they would. Yeah, I think they would. That's what we, that's what we had to leg up on them.

Well, they deserve it. I wish that they could, all of them. I would take all of them to a Golden Corral. I take each one to a barbecue restaurant. I'd show each one of them a Looney Tunes cartoon and let each one of them try to get milk out of me. This is a story from... Vietnam! Oh, that red, white, and blue! Such great music came from Vietnam. Horrible war, though. Horrible war! I just listened to your latest episode in Henry's love of weird sightings like dinosaurs. Well, my uncle told me a story, but at the time he potentially saw a dinosaur. You might find it interesting. My uncle was in the Vietnam War.

On one day he was out in the forest with his troop. He said that he and his unit mostly avoided action and their actual job was to determine if there were any Viet Cong hideouts within the deep forests. He told me that one day he went out to take a piss behind a tree and we heard something rustling in the bushes. He freezes with his dick in his hands and he turns and faces where the rustling was coming from and sure if it was animal soldiers or some sort of large animal he didn't know which one was worse. He watches the flathead of a reptilian creature with a crown of feathers. He said basically like if a bird had male patterned baldness but it was like all around its head it reared its head above the branches. The head he said was the

size of a small child and it had massive eyes that darted back and forth looking out at the clearing. The creature rested its eyes on my uncle. My uncle said he blinked with his dick still in his hands frozen in shock and then the creature cut to cut to his big cut to his dick blinking as well. That's what I used to make it do in the bath and it's actually what I still do in the bath. Well be careful don't get soap in there it can burn. No no I don't touch it with the soap but I make it go kiss Henry, kisses, kisses, kisses. Good for you. Thank you for the wife Henry. You're apparently still having sex with it with a condom because the idea of procreation is so horrifying. So disgusting so scary just a horrible idea. We don't want children. They stared each

other a few seconds before the creature huffed and turned around and vanished back into the foliage. My uncle witnessed a large back with scaly skin picking up behind thick feathers between the branches as the creature decided it didn't have time for the scared man with his dick in his hands. That's fucking amazing. The uncle zipped his dick back up and then he said it was common knowledge that dinosaurs had feathers. This is before it was common knowledge that dinosaurs had feathers. My uncle told me that when he read an article the paleontologists determined that dinosaurs were coated in feathers. He stood up and yelled well I don't know what he yelled but I can only assume it was I know what I saw. Yes indeed he does know what he saw. Do you think it's possible

the dinosaur saw his Huang and thought of it as a weapon and perhaps said I can't mess with a guy with a gun that big? I don't know not if he was Polish. Alright. Come on gotcha gotcha again. And God gave you a grenade you know. Unlike Nessie so this is a here's a cryptid from Scotland there's another little fun little cryptid because we're about to leave the world of cryptid so let's let's saute in it a little bit. Please please. Unlike Nessie the wild haggis lives in the lives of the Scottish Highlands. The wild haggis? Yeah this is like it is a joke this is a joke cryptid. It is indeed caught and cooked to create the culinary delight I'm sure Henry Orgen meets the Browskis a fan of I love haggis. The creature has shorter legs on one side of

his body which allows it to run around the mountains more easily. An interesting fact about the bees is that there are two varieties one with shorter right legs one with shorter left legs that run clockwise or anti-clockwise around the hills accordingly. Another weird fact is that the haggis from different varieties can't mate because they would overbalance while attempting to mount each other. I have attached a picture of a museum specimen which is actually very funny. This is the whole miss a made up bit it's kind of like in Australia where it's like it is technically it's not made up but the drop bears very deadly there um but it's the same thing where it's like a fun little bit it's a fun little bit just nice to celebrate these fucking scats and it's a great

point if we did actually have cryptids it would take us about four hours before someone would start eating them and then we'd have barbecue sasquatch on sale and the whole thing although it would be very gamey I can't imagine it would be good. I would just blame our highly sought after nose to tail cuisine in this country people are just obsessed with it. Yeah nose to tail cuisine. All right everyone well thank you so much for listening we hope you're doing okay out there and uh yeah we were super excited we have some big news to tell you about some touring that we will be doing later on in the year so we'll get you all that information as soon as we can. So you just live every day knowing for a fact that you're about to get the mark of the fucking

beast and you're gonna love when you get it you're gonna get the mark of the beast because we're already being tracked hey if you watch spycraft and Netflix you don't have to be worried about the stupid fucking vaccine because they literally can watch you they can read credit card numbers that if you held a credit card in your hand they could read it from space we're fucked it's done so get the super vaccine so we can go on fucking tour okay because when we get on tour and everybody can get out there we can laugh we can laugh we can laugh when I finally go to a restaurant again all right what are you painting yourself as the Joker right now as you go this right I'm going as penguin that's what I'm gonna do I'm bringing back the penguin bringing back the

whistler I this is what we have to do but uh because straight up just fucking get it to the point where I can go to a fucking buffet again we gotta go I know it's the it's that's the complaint where we're at but that is you know what that is it I need I need it and you mentioned the whistler I'm gonna say this throwing this out in the world more riddler content I think he's underused and I think he's a great great villain hmm more riddler that's what I say from your words your mouth the gods is because then if you can really make the riddles fun isn't that interesting for then you got the extra content because then people are also searching for the riddles for the riddles all right everyone thank you for listening hail yourselves hail Satan look who's deletions everybody

hail me you groimy fox absolutely and don't forget the stream it's on our patreon now yes this show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com