Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Demonic Threesome

Episode Date: October 15, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a priest desecrates an altar, a mystery pooper, a Papa John's money scheme, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories So this weekend Natalie and I had a romantic round I saw your picture on Instagram you staring at whiskey as if it was The love of your life. It is besides my beautiful wife today is our anniversary. We did it for our anniversary Wow, who would have thought I'm an expert look at that married the big thing you're five years away from the seven-year itch I think I've been a cheat. I honestly and it's not sexual unfortunately. I think it's just my skin The way to save a marriage two bathrooms two bathrooms. I completely agree with that I've heard that mentioned on House Hunters many times on HGTV. Do you think it's just to keep the air of? Intimacy or just like the level of respect where do you not want to hear her take a dump?

Or does she just not want to hear you do anything whatsoever in your true form? I'll watch her pee I'll watch her shit. I don't care. We don't do that though. We don't we don't care, but I don't want her to deal with my So it's more of a you thing. Yeah. Yeah, I like me isolate the husband I agree. We were out on the on a lake and I gotta tell you it's creepy out there I don't like why is it creepy. You know why it's creepy. It's one number one likes don't move Well, I mean they move a little bit with the wind They're just big puddles. Okay, that is true and Lake people like Lake living is a style of life We're they're so used to life moving in a very slow pace. Yes, and they like things to remain

Exactly the same. Well, don't but don't bother me. I'm a local That's why they moved out there, and then you're coming in from the big city. You're disrupting their flow You're disrupting their life supporting easy. I'm supporting the town. I'm coming here Yeah, I might have my neon green micro shorts on you're gonna get kicked out of the Applebee's But I will say I had my nothing but trouble shirt on from you Channel yeah from a tall boy who is it's great sure, but it's his demons holding his two big butts And we were out at some place we get it and some guy he looked at me to say hey, man Nah, sure, that's what you want, but then he was like nice sure

But let me show you how I really love it and his girlfriend was standing in front of him online With the watch the phone and he just starts digging into her ass right like just grab it and fold in the meat I was like, that's very sweet is another me too, and I was like I I like butts But this is just a fun shirt, right sure. Yes indeed. Hey, what's up everyone? Welcome to side stories I am Ben hanging out with Henry those are the locals you can come to expect from places like Big Bear that Technically is all the dream isn't it it could be but the problem is is that it's It is fun to roll into a lifetime because it is like an 80s comedy. It's great But they still believe Reagan is president there

Well, we have a lot of stories to get to today also Henry I know that you you want to make a public you have a public statement You would like to make about you not being able to figure out what words mean This is a little bit of wheel of fortune. Yeah, the last podcast on the left side stories edition on last week's episode We were told that a curse word it involved a T. Yes star star T We said that it may be the words heart. We thought British was British We don't know and certain words are more offensive across the pond. Absolutely cuz you can see the same He means pussy you mean pussy and for here

It just means a place to put your keys a place to put your wallet if you're a professional wrestler in a little pack Right below your navel Also, the word see you next Tuesday. They say that like it's not like it's like oh, it's like saying like rib-eye steak here in America means friend there it really does and you so you went there Oh, I said wait and tell we hear about that. So anyway, the word tart that we said we speculated it was tart I just get you know, I'm not there's certain email corrections that we get that I'm like surprised by the the amount of people That said it's not taught. It's twat. What's what is the word we're looking for? I'm gonna say I got 25 emails We don't even think taught the bad word my sisters are fucking taught. Oh my goodness. Well, don't call her a twat though

That's bad. Apparently a twat is I mean twat is a curse word everywhere It's not really used that much though as a matter of fact if somebody called me a twat I would actually I would stop fight mid-conversation and be like you got me I think that's a great term for what I am being right now. I am being a twat I'm gonna back out of this conversation the fight is over. I concede you have one sir if you drop a twat on me It's like what? What did I do wrong? I'm actually gonna look in the mirror like Michael Jackson said yes a mirror was a seven-year-old But hold to Michael Jackson, but he could have made a change on that

He could have said no to that it's interesting because in the song the man in the mirror means that he put himself in the mirror I looked in the mirror and I said am I being a twat and if you are if you do find yourself being a twat You need to be you need to make a change make yourself a torrent make yourself better And we actually got a really good update We did get a good update from our listeners talking about it because we want to know if parents know that they're cursing yes This is so much more important than the Supreme Court hearings going on right now I honestly think this is really the news that really really matters. Yes indeed But listeners they will got a lot of lessons came back to do that parents

They seem to have the intelligence of about a young child and they may not understand quite what they're saying But they can understand the reaction they get From words that they use which maybe so when they see people kind of go Oh, every time they start squint screaming twat or ever again in the zoo They live on the reaction and eventually they start a podcast. I love what they're up to well speaking of podcasts We actually have to start this one. I want to start with this story. So I'm just gonna whoop put on the conductor's cap The trains leave in the station tune tune. It's a strange train All right, this story I started last week's episode with a very intense story

Jenny I didn't realize how intense it was gonna be as the story went on and then as I was saying I was like This is a hell of we just we do did a dive in the deep end. Yeah, we pull it back up Well, this we're gonna start in a high note. We're gonna start on something much lighter than the Horrible past of Marty genetic a man man pooped in a box at a Michigan Major, it's M E I J J E R major. I might be a major. It might it's a grocery store So a man pooped in a box in a Michigan major put it back on the shelf That's according to please this happened in the

Van Buren Township of Michigan the police are looking for a man They say pooped in an empty box before sealing it back up and placing it on a shelf at the Michigan major according to Van Buren Township Police Department the incident occurred at the major store located at 9701 Belleville Road at 3 50 p.m. On October 1st Oh, this happened at 4 p.m. In the afternoon that is this is about some form of long form of revenge It absolutely is and you know from a comedy perspective the Van Buren Police Department This was one of the hardest days they've ever had I'm getting too old for this shit

You know one of the detectives it was his last day on the job. He was just like Eight hours eight hours Sam, and then I'm out of here And they're like hey you getting ready to go vacation up in Big Bear you getting ready, right? But I actually don't know because at the same time There's so much strife both police-wise and race-wise in Michigan right now It's that maybe they chose to focus on this easily Bustable crime. It's not easily bustable the person is still at large He's posted security footage of the bizarre incident they put that on their Facebook page

So I'm sure they'll get a lot of militia Wanting to take down the perpetrator They took it down at the request of major officials who cited their corporate policy as a reason so literally Supermarket was like could you take down the footage of the person shitting in the box in our store? Oh, so he did it live. It's bad for branding. He did it live. Well, I believe it was CCTV camera No, I don't mean not like on Twitch. He didn't do it on Facebook live, but he was he didn't arrive at the store with the box Filled with shit. I think he had it loaded up inside my friend. I think he had it in the old man purse I think he was he was stuffing it up there

And so you know he had to time that out perfectly. My question is why was the box empty in the first place? Is this he could have done what I did when I was super poor I used to walk around the supermarket and I used to just eat food out of the box and just leave empty boxes and leave I don't know if that's acceptable at any level of income I used to do that though with peanuts because they always have the mounds of peanuts You can pocket a couple of peanuts in a the big deal It's hard to open up a bag of peanuts so they spill everywhere and every single parent knows this is gonna be a Kathy moment Perhaps every Sunday, you know what happens on Sundays at the pig what wiggly free samples. Oh, I actually didn't know that

I'm used to Costco. Oh, they do free samples of Costco as well not any more things to the fucking plague. Oh That would be a sad way to get it from a free little smoky So the police they don't know what they're gonna do the man is the man also stole something before he left the store Which seems to be equally if not just as bad We're actually it kind of works out cuz it's like I'm leaving something and I'm taking something look at that Isn't that nice every time you take something you should also leave something that is a good That's a good thing to remember for Halloween as well take a treat leave a treat And that's the George Carlin bit of you don't take a shit you leave a shit

Thank you George Carlin nothing but the best what I look at the end of this article It's got all the talking about the you know the mystery pooper and then the first thing to add that shows up is Billy Joel confirms She's the real uptown girl I don't know why he's referring to the Duke in the box So he was found or he was seen escaping the parking lot in a light-colored Ford Interesting enough a great car to use on a poop on a poop mystery get out of there with the Ford escape No word on yet if if the cops have any major leads

I'm not sure if they've done a DNA test on the poop We'll see what other poop is related to this poop. Perhaps we'll do you get a DNA test and find out it is indeed He's a relative of the Golden State killer or something. We just don't know we don't know if you actually nowadays I hear they're doing a lot of asshole prints And then if they if he has been booked for any sort of asshole related crime They have to go and they have to swab it and then he does he spreads the cheeks really puts it down on the ink pad and then Whoo, right right on the paper and maybe they could tell by these circumference of the shit Who's yeah, who's butthole did it so what you think should happen is that locked down on the entire store?

And then everyone has to drop trial show the officer their butthole they much of their they measure the circumference See who it could have been and then from there lately. They they Isolate maybe seven to ten suspects, you know, it's gonna be really tricky Okay, so we are in the valley. We can put together that movie right now That is a film. That's how I want to so it's called bottoms up. Oh my goodness I think a black couch is involved on that a black leather couch also the tining. I think is very specific This is at 4 p.m. Right work. Everybody gets off a work five. This guy's unemployed Work gets off around five o'clock. What if this is his job? I've been playing Grand Theft Auto 5

I'm really excited for this mission But honestly, he feel like he's setting this up for somebody come he's mad about he's lost his job Sure, this is a this is about class warfare. It could be I I mean there was we we didn't really talk about it too much On last podcast on the left because it's tough to find the story But the Tylenol killer for example, yes, there's someone who someone poisoned a whole series of bottles This has happened time and time again as a matter of fact There was just a story of someone's jamming perhaps we'll get to that here later on jamming razor blades in pizza dough And selling those people do crazy things people want to see the world burn. My question is you're in the aisle

That's my yeah, that's my impression of a child. I'm talking about post-poop now. You're a family You're walking you your kid wants the frickin jelly beans I don't know what kids are into fruit by the foot is that still around I think it is but now it's like fruit by the yard They're screaming. I think it was a yard. I think it was three feet a foot. Um, so it was tactically always a yard And you go to grab. I'm assuming this is a pancake mix or something like that Yeah, that's what I want to know. What box was it in? Well, do you know if it's poop or not right away? You've got to feel that it's a different consistency. I feel that if it is a different weight Hmm, I feel honestly if this is a more adult

Did somebody open that up before buying the product itself because then the reason to shit? Yeah And if you had brown stains all over it because I don't know if he's necessarily The I'm gonna go a Marc Lemieux with his shit I don't know if he's gonna have the exact aiming for it to me. It was a Mario Lemieux But Mark Lemieux is always the Italian Every hockey players Italian I don't know but it depends on what boxing is I think that's pretty what we're getting towards is if it's in a more adult snack Like let's say a pinwheel. I find that more of an adult with dark chocolate in it

Then this is just he is fighting the working class because he doesn't have a job and he's bitter But if it's anything that's towards kids like let's say it is a poop by the yard scenario, right? He puts in one of those box. He's a sex offender. Do you really do you actually age? Let's say a gushers. So when you look at a gusher Yeah, like how in France they will feminize or a masculine or don't don't make words feminine or masculine You put an age on like youth you look at a gush. You're like that's a seven-year-old That's a seven-year-old kind of candy that that candy. I normally do you look at so what's like a maybe like a let's say something What did we call these very controversial the corn ones the ones that are candy corn candy corn candy corn?

That's a 50-year-old treat candy corn Natalie eats candy corn really, but Natalie just likes pure sugar She's one of those people who likes pure pure sugar, but candy corn. I view is either for the very old or A lot of times is people with no teeth and that can be any age That's actually really tough to eat with candy corn you suck on them and to that story I mentioned earlier This was in Maine This fella he was he worked at a supermarket chain and he stuffed razor blades into consumers pizza dough So don't don't go there the grocery store launched their own investigation and reviewed store security footage of Nicholas R. Mitchell They allegedly caught him tampering with packages of several Portland pizza pie dough's that is very

Traditional Halloween evil mischief. I kind of agree with you It's kind of like a whole back true question, and this is LPO side stories LP otl a gmail.com Has anyone ever bitten into the razor blade? I have never experienced it I know that there are stories of it I want to say that there was a story that came out not that long ago that actually had The razors and pins put into the candy, but the most part when I was a kid I believe it was a weaponized urban myth because I was already a 275 pounds and that is a great way to have someone stop eating all the candy

I guess so but didn't stop me because you know I did buy halfway in go This mounts it feels like honestly, mom I said he'd won one because the packaging seems kind of suspicious So you tested all the food for the family, but then they couldn't eat because you licked all over it which is what my brother used to do He used to lick the frosting out of the Oreo put him back And I didn't realize that Oreos had frosting until I was like 12 years old And I think that's why he's a power bottom. It isn't that possible So Haniford just lastly here Haniford supermarkets that you should recall on all Portland pie cheese and Portland pie fresh

Dough sold in the deli department. They said after what is believed to be further malicious tampering Incidents involving metal objects inserted into Portland pie products Haniford has removed all Portland pie products from all shelves and has paused replenishment of the products indefinitely so Portland pie They got totally screwed because this guy is putting razor blades in their dough I think that it's about war against Portland pie. It's possible Some of these things that I think some of them. Yes, some people want to hurt kids because oh They're always laughing and they like the sound of people like the sound of children's laughter even though it's awful Well, this is there's nothing wrong with the sound of children's laughter. It sounds like

Fire no Henry you can't get to that point. That's the beginning of the end of your mind You have to like the sound of children laughing there. They always laugh at the wrong things They're just laughing because they're having fun. You think that mr. Bean doesn't make children laugh at the right time Hmm put the gun down He has he is intrinsic timing also when he gets dressed on the car Robinson now this is handsome by the way. It's a really nice car He does yeah, how do you know I was looking at some I was looking at some tablet He's like super famous. Yeah, Rowan Atkinson is very famous. Yes, and he has a super nice car, and he's really like better

He's not mr. Bean. No, no, he's mr. Fox. He's mr. Fox. Yeah, absolutely This is Mr. Fine the bugs. Mr. Fine. I got him. He's at the top. Whoa That's how you know where the clitoris is for your fucking nerds. It's at the very top of it So you just find top look for the bottom look for a asshole Look north of the asshole where the skin is bottom of the pussy. That's where the dick goes all at the top. You know hat That's the clip look at that So if anyone was wondering how to explain sex to their children just play them that sound clip and in no way where your Kid be traumatized much like the person in this next story this at this honestly

There's no one traumatized as far as I'm concerned except for the I'm gonna use the word nanny The nanny that reported this crime That maybe we'll parcel let's parse this out Let's see what our listeners think you are really you're blaming the you're blaming the the old mouthpiece here You're blaming the person who saw it. Let's find out what the crime is here. Okay, priest record it having group sex on Alter of Pearl River Church police say three arrested this happened. I want to say this happened to know all Yes, indeed Louisiana. Where else would this happen, but New Orleans? I love it It is I absolutely wonder. I love this story and I get back who is guilty and what are they guilty of?

Okay from no la.com the lights inside st. Peter's and Paul Roman Catholic Church in Pearl River one late We're on later than usual on September 30th So a passerby stopped the take a closer look she went oh sounds like someone's having fun Peering inside the unlookers saw the small parishes pastor half naked Having sex with two women on the altar according to court documents fucking awesome Not bad sure women with the women were dressed in corsets and high-heeled boots There were sex toys and stage lighting incredible that is amazing a mobile phone as well as a separate camera were mounted on tripods This was a production. Are we talking a ring cam here?

I think there was a ring light and when you say production is this a porno It sounds like who's there might have I don't know if it was for public consumption Maybe that's where we're getting the legality of it Okay, Reverend Travis Clark looking real sorry in this mugshot the eyewitness took a video and called the pearl River Police so the eyewitness took the time to watch them all fuck on the altar film her own I mean I'm saying her and I don't mean to say her sure, but it's smelling like a it could be a bit of a Karen I hate the term. No, don't like it at all. We'll call her then and we'll call her as a Call her a big hole. Oh, yeah

She filmed this through her phone saw saw them having sex as evidence, right? Then she called the police well arrested Reverend Travis Travis Park was the pastor of st. Peter's Travis Travis Clark And you can see in his mugshot. He is looking away down and to the left This is why you need to have someone who knows how to take pictures of dogs be the person who takes the mugshot Titties up here. What so you gotta look at the camera? Otherwise, what's the point of the mugshot? So there's couple they try to the arch dice. He's a gnolls. They didn't want to talk about it said this priest got arrested They don't want to talk about it But then everything came out in the court filing they said he was engaged in a sexual role play while desecrating a sacred space

They charged him for obscenity, right? Public records additionally show that one of the women Mindy Dixon She is a actress and dominatrix. Okay, and don't film actor You know how difficult it is to make a film these days You gotta steal a shot every once in a while you have to steal a shot every now and again, of course churches Regardless of what happens within the walls when it comes to the philosophy exposed or expressed, you know, they're really beautiful things I think so love making Catholic Churches and Catholics of all of the fucking cults in the Christian And they all hate condoms so I don't really understand what the problem is and that she was with Melissa Chang and together They were there was obscene acts that occurred on the altar, which are clearly visible from the street quote-unquote

I still think that the the witness went looking for it. Absolutely Melissa Chang There's also the mugshot of her here again. Whoever is taking these mugshots. You have got to watch pecker Even watch watch that movie with Jake Gyllenhaal a night crawler night crawler You got to learn how to take the proper pictures from Melissa Chang not that it really matters They can look like anything, but I find her to be quite attractive. I think it's a good time again Everything consensual. This is what we're saying so the straight up But the one thing of this whole story is that everyone was a contending adult. Yes This is the story of with Reverend Travis. He was ordained in 2013

He'd recently been named chaplain of Pope John Paul the second high school in slide L in addition to his duties at St. Pete's and Paul's at the high school. He succeeded a guy that by the name of Reverend Pat. Wow Wagony Waltney, I then might be it's probably Creole Pat Waltney reportedly disclosed, right that he did he had sexually abused a minor Was a pedophile replacing Travis Clark replaced a pedophile priest Well, they should be thanking their lucky stars that everyone was of age It was consensual. We are saying the least scandal in the history of the Catholic Church

Revlon Reverend Clark just loves big delicious grown woman breasts. Wow, he said all of this up They are all consented to it. It's his workplace. Is it yeah Is it necessarily great to do it at your office? I don't know I don't know how all that works. No, that's just his fucking office I think this is more of like the this is more of at the conference room in the office This office is behind the church or something I think this is more just like having sex in the cafeteria when everything is closed down

I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Interestingly enough the archbishop of New Orleans They visited the church to quote perform a ritual that would restore the sanctity of the altar What sanctity does it fucking have? It literally just had a child molester in there And now yeah, they quote-a-quote they showed up when the police officers arrived. They found two women clad in corsets Man, I'm horny for this two women clad in corsets high-heeled boots by the altar with lights set up around them Except they were filming some kind of event. You know what they were fucking filming. Oh, you know, it wasn't a concert Clark wasn't at the altar, but an officer who knew Clark to be the church's pastor try to call him on the phone I mean he watched it the phone blow up while they were fucking shooting

Well, we better call the club we had to call the pastor and get him over here And they just watched the phone that was filming blow up Well, and Dixon perhaps this was a someone who knew or followed miss Dixon's career That of course is the adult film actress She posted on social media a day before that she was traveling to New Orleans to meet up with another dominatrix to quote Defe-de-file a house of good It seems that she is what I believe is she calls herself a Cetaminatrix I forget how they term for it, but she does believe in purposefully like technically

I feel like this weirdly fits under some sort of political movement Like you went to do a thing at a church to show how little shit you give about the church But also to again show the hypocrisy of the church where we're gonna get all riled up about sex Meanwhile, you guys do all you do is lick the child. Well, absolutely a Interesting irony when it comes to this man taking over for a pedophile if I in the person who was in charge of this church It seems as if they're going to fire this priest Oh, they already did he might be the best thing that ever happened to him Honestly, because you know what would solve all of this and this is like not a shocking sentence

What let these people get married these priests, you know what they do they just sit the bottle They're alcoholics. No, they're either miserable a Catholic priest is either a child molester or an alcoholic There is no in between sometimes certain neighborhoods. There are certain neighborhoods, which I was talking about Could be an asexual person. Absolutely, of course, of course, but I do there's a part of it in one way You're kind of like a rock star in certain neighborhoods when you're you are especially Catholic priests because they believe that they are They can heal you on behalf of God They forgive your sins for you and they are kind of and they have a public speaking job We're so kind of in a way is when you I know growing up in the church

You meet someone who's kind of like a fun charismatic funny priest that kind of bullshit And they absorb that that kind of attention and I feel like on some level You could see why someone would be interested in being a priest if they were just looking to mix it up But they wanted to be a star on Sunday the vice-principal of Pacelli high school and Stevens point, Wisconsin father John Before I got there. He was quite a character and very loved by everyone and innocent. He's never been charged with anything I don't know why you're never charged Well, he's an innocent man But of course he was a very fun loving priest and he was a good guy and then we had father Steve who was the in the closet priest

I love it. I love it at all. Those are my favorite are like this the very nice in the closet priest Yeah, that's a nice priest at the same time. They're being suppressed. Yeah, maybe it was good for him I don't know who knows who knows what was going on in the mind of that man We will get you know, but go check them out go honestly and I believe Melissa Chang as it go fund me Trying to recoup some of the costs that all this is going to do is going to destroy your life Essentially have their lives destroyed over this also the person who snitched get a life get a life my god Alright, well, we do have in there's really no sex scandal here But we do have a story about a Papa John's pizza franchise owner

This is talk about this actually should be a major crime to you. Yeah, well It's a major crime. Although Papa John's has gone a little bit downhill. Reheal shoddy on 61 Papa John's So what did this guy do you ask? Well, he asked his employees to record thousands of quote phantom covers That's kind of fun. I mean, yeah, but what that is so basically they would just order pizzas and They're not paying for them Well, sort of because the government scheme was running according to whistleblowers and sales reports seen by the mail Which is one of the most reputable? pieces of toilet paper in the history of the world he is the US's giant largest UK franchisee

Because these non-existent meals were classed as quote eat out or help out the taxpayer paid half the bill I don't know how this works over there. Apparently the taxpayer pays half the bill if it's an eat out or take out I don't know didn't um eat out and take out wasn't it a whole thing that Ruth Bader Ginsburg put together for women women's I absolutely believe that to be true most of his restaurants were not even eligible for the offer which required diners to eat in Because there were collection and delivery only Papa John's head office which had told Mr. Chaudhury not to take part in the scheme launched an urgent probe and Then they busted him last night fraud experts warned the suspected scam was quote tip of the iceberg and Highlighted how easily the government coronavirus schemes could be exploited now my question is

So no one got pizzas the idea is that no one was thinking they were gonna get a pizza, but then didn't get a no That's true. Nobody got screwed in that way But with pizza exactly whistleblowers say was driven by quote greed as his franchises had already seen a surgeon business during the first Virus wave as more people ordered takeaways. Isn't that interesting? So people still got the pizzas that they needed But he just would wipe out the orders and take the money himself workers who raised objections were threatened with the sack or Reduced hours if they spoke out wouldn't be kind of fun if he just had a big bag and that was what the sack was That wouldn't anything become Scientology

So the same branches which did not allow dining in recorded more than 1700 eat out to help out orders despite the document showing that not a single customer was recorded as having quote Dined in during this period I don't fully understand why the government's involved in the pizza game Which makes him this makes this story a little confusing to me. That's one of those things where be like I want more socialism in my government But that's one of those things. I don't want the government involved in my pizza not at all I don't want the government telling me what can go on my pizza what goes on my tombstone is my choice make the roads make the Schools better. That's the only

My pizza there you go now you're getting it so Papa John's runs a franchise system meeting individual franchise That's we all know that anyway. That's the story about Papa John's managers were promised bonuses for hitting targets of Fake claims worth in 500 to 600 a day for branches. So everybody was making one one one Manager said it was pure greed. He didn't need extra money. His franchises were doing very well during Corona virus He needs more money and 61 franchises. He always needs more money Well, this is a different he said because more people were ordering takeaways which is delivery Which is carry out anyone who raised concerns got stacked it again in the mornings that their hours were gonna be cut So this guy Eden that's not good, but you know, what's funny is I could feel this is what you need Papa John

Somewhere he's smiling. He needs you need the firm hand of Papa John to come in. What? No doing that. Oh, no, I'm not sure if you he might he might encourage the scan Yeah, I think Papa John might be he might be a bit of a skimmer. I I wonder what he does because now he just sells merch now. He's just like it just sells Papa Bless shirts technically has the exact same career as Jeffrey Epstein did where you're like, what do you do? You know, he's a fucking billionaire. Yeah, he's a pizza magnate. He is Herman Cain RIP Herman Cain, so he better watch it Papa John's fucking next honestly You never freaking know who Papa has pissed off and the pizza game. We know the mob ties with pizza. It's real

I know it's serious the pepperoni families You tell me that someone hasn't died over screwing up the pizza game I guarantee you like no joke guarantee you they have you go down to Napoli The kind of gangsters that must be deep in the fucking dough game the guys out there in the soap risotto lines You don't know fucking the soap risotto one. Yeah. Yeah, you got a couple of tubes of soap risotto But every once in a while you fucking you hollow one out. Oh, you put a child soldier in there. Oh my god They bring them in Italy. No kidding. Yeah now and you got all these child soldiers in Italy and they're running around They're the ones, you know, they're selling ice cream cons

My favorite thing about traveling around Italy is every piece of art every great building They say look how beautiful that is and you're like that is beautiful and then they always clarify It was built by fascists and then they always have to say that's not good And then we always say but at least they did know how to make art and they knew how to build nice statue Thank you It's like going by the Reichstag and you walk fast and you're just like oh, that's big. Yeah. Well, they seem to really want a big Look at that Speaking of one and a big this is a story. This is about this is about traveling. Okay, this story

This comes from remember that pump pay you didn't come with us to pump a no it and not no brick And I had a wonderful time walking around in apples. You were we did they you would be very claustrophobic in Pompeii I used to be smaller I have a hard time with certain travels and I knew you guys were gonna be taking the boat It was a whole thing and I wanted to explore the urbans could we only had one day in Naples? Yes, that's sad But I have to say it was so beautiful And it's like when you see a postcard come true the old woman with the hair up with the little with the bonnet on screaming out her window

And you see the little people in the moped and oh my god, this is this is how it actually is Yeah, it was really awesome, and we'll never go back there This is true. I honestly do believe that you should be very careful about what you take home from your travels We can't all be Zach Baggins. We can't all have a Paranormal vault in our Las Vegas mansion. Be careful. You have to be careful Taurus return stolen artifacts to Pompeii after suffering curse for 15 years Which is a lot this is according to CNN a Canadian woman who has returned five artifacts She took from Pompeii in 2005 saying that they have plagued her with bad luck

The woman identified only as Nicole sent two white mosaic tiles two pieces of m4 of vase and a piece of ceramic wall to the Archaeological Park of Pompeii along with a letter explaining her decision Well, they'll still arrest your ass just so you know if you do steal something and bring it back to the store And they don't just hold like thank you so much for being honest life lessons don't work like that anymore in America That's why if you're a parent never call the police on your kid Just because you think it's gonna be like a tough way to teach them Once you get them wrapped in the system, then they're gone and then the kids are gone and then you no longer have a family They've ruined it all for you my love more than they need the police

They just get abused Larry Lawton check out his YouTube channel absolutely unbelievable my question is this though Henry She stole it in 2005. She had it for 15 years bad luck 15 years. It's only 2020 We're gonna need a sample size of at least five years after this. What if her life just sucks? What if it's like what if nothing gets better quite possible, this is what she says I wanted to have a piece of history that couldn't be bought Wrote the woman who said she I was young and dumb Since returning to Canada though She said she has suffered two bouts of breast cancer resulting in a double mastectomy and her family has also been in financial trouble

I just can't seem to ever get ahead in life. I don't think it's about the rocks I mean, I think it's you gotta get this is a thing to doctor I don't know if I fully believe in this but she says I took a piece of history Captured in a time with so much negative energy attached to it people died in such a horrible way and I took tiles related to that kind of Destruction, which is sort of true, but I don't really believe so she asked to please forgive my careless act that I did years ago I feel like she needs to have a relationship with the doctor and just like stay on top of it and Make sure all the blood cells are doing what the blood cells are supposed to do I don't know if traveling to Pompeii was the safest thing for her to do right now

I don't know This is before she had breast cancer. This is all before she went in there in 2005 No, but now she had to go deliver them again. Oh, no, she mailed them. She didn't mail them. Oh, yeah, this is a male in travel Oh, okay, I see I see it's not the only one because I was gonna say if you have 15 years bad luck The last thing you want to do is take an international flight Oh, yeah, cuz then you're gonna kill 300 other people Oh God don't if you if you are going through a spat of bad luck when we start traveling again Just do us a favor and I will do the same thing. I will sit. I will sit that flight out

Yeah, I tell me tell me if you've had bad luck Kissel and I'll know you've had bad luck by the state of your clothes. Yes, indeed You know over the years it seems this is not the only one over the years around a hundred visitors Have returned small artifacts like mosaic tiles and pieces of plaster that they say that they stole during pot bay Everyone's just stealing from this place. You could just I mean it just rocks Yeah, but the items were sent back along with letters from the visitors claiming to have derives only bad luck a selection of letters and return Artifacts has been put on display at the Pompeii antiquarium She added noting that while the value of the artifacts was not significant the letters were interesting from an anthropological perspective It's very it's interesting to see that many people have experienced bad luck from stealing something

Well, from such an important and intense historical location Pompeii needs to do what they do at the great Asian market specifically in Brooklyn They needed a wall of shame with the CCTV camera footage one snapshot shame There was one person who consistently stole gum from the Store on on Graham Avenue. They consistently stole gum their picture was up there And they literally just shame on this person and it worked and if I was that person I would feel horrible And I would buy them more gum. I you know It's just why are you stealing the gum? Is it because you're so broke or you one of those people? It's a tiny sexual thrill from a little theft maybe just a little. I don't know if it's sexual

But a little bit of a thrill. I always think there's a little tingle at the end of the balls could be I don't know why people steal all the time. I say I did when I was in high school I would take like little packs of gum because I thought it was fun, but then I got in high school. We used to steal. Oh My goodness gracious. I don't know is he is the Statue of limitations still on some of your oh, no, it was just cigarettes and that was back in the day This is old corner old man corner back before they had the tobacco products behind the yeah We just be out. You should be out. Yeah, and so you'd still be still so man when John Marino It was the Eckerds

We used to just go and use the fucking Hannah's owl whole packs of cigarettes Well, you got in trouble, but then we all started doing he started doing cocaine with the owner and then we started getting cigarettes back It's all good. Yeah, you got to sell them a little bit Also, there was a great liquor store that had the cabana boy the rum and the cabana boy has a little naughty boy on the cover And it's like his pants are coming down. I hate that so nobody would no one would buy it Of course right by the door. It looks like it's it's grooming liquid. Well, I used to just steal that by the no one even cares I'm a little boy. I'm a little boy and my friends. I've told that story where they're like, well I don't want to drink it. It's cuz it's like day rum. I'm like who's fricking dares who cares isn't a cup now

Have your rum. It's cabana boy is very good rum. Oh, is it? Yeah, it's great. Really? Yeah, it's great Rum when's the last time you voluntarily had cabana boy rum? I haven't seen it in a long time Yeah, I think they stopped selling it because I mean honestly It just sounds like what you'd pour in a Kool-Aid to make your cousin go to sleep. I don't know what happens But anyway, all right, it is time for a hero of the week This week's hero brings us all the way to Belgium Very famous for their waffles and the good times and the good people a naughty naked gnome Is ordered to cover up. This is a topless statue. It's name is Betty

It's being deemed as too rude by Belgians town authorities But Lewis Wills who was eighty five year young and kicking eighty five and holding Told his scarcely clad garden art ornament was causing offense, but he says, you know what? You know what? I am eighty five years old. I fought in a war. I don't know what war they fought. I assume that they Yeah, I assume that they have and I am not going to cover up this garden gnome. Look at the tits of this gnome It's great. He was told to either dress the gnome or remove it But he is refusing to comply with the officials You have to stand up for your rights and say it is my yard is my gnome and those fake gnome boobs are going to be

flying high Letting people know free the nipple what I don't understand is why are we so prudish those nipples those glorious big pink Gnome nipples here. We're going crazy. He'd be like let me add them. I'll suck them till the blood comes out Oh, my but if you look at these breasts Isn't that what children feast on so we're gonna sit here and we're gonna malign the breasts of this gnome We're technically if you slapped a gnome child up against one of those tits right there We're gonna have a oh, this is gonna be some kind of movement is gonna build up and be people gonna protest Oh, you're trying to cover up the natural beauty of breastfeeding. What about the natural beauty of breasts hanging?

Absolutely, I completely agree today's episode. It's really think it's themed on snitches Just gets down to it. What are you this upset about this little this gnomes making you so horny? You can't get through your day Betty who was given to Lewis as a gift from a neighbor currently stands proud She's very in front. She's got two other statues there officials who patrolled the area last week Said that Betty could no longer stay as quote it could possibly upset children bashing by Oh, we're not gonna be creating all of our laws here to be pretty these children. They're doing just fine Okay, and they just saw the breasts the most of them as infants came from a breast It's just a bread is a it is a plastic gnome. Do you know what the kids are watching on the internet?

They're watching horses having sex with old women While the woman's getting drowned in a tub and that's the first time that's the first time they ever even look at Look at this. I would even say you might have a thing if this was like a full-grown woman nude out there Wouldn't a gnome outfit, but I guess what you know what I would say hire her Absolutely. Well Lewis told VRT news one of the better news sites out there I can't get my head around it The city authorities have time on their hands to make remarks about my gnome leave them alone or leave them a gnome

That's what I say They have threatened me with legal action dress Betty. The gnome isn't made for that. That's what he had to say the garden No, we're close the garden center that supplied the gnome told the publication that it too was surprised at the request to remove it saying quote It's the very first time we hear anything like this Betty and its counterpart Rafe the gnome are among our best sellers We sell at least two a day Yeah, so Belgium you're gonna have yourself a problem when everyone any listener out there in Belgium get Betty the boobly booby Gnome and put her in your front yard and you you want to make these authorities sweat you wait until they're every single every single yard We got to make sure that these officers are too busy to stop up stop us from doing real crimes like smuggling meth

I want to see 20 sets of gnome breasts on every block 20 gnomes 20 gnomes No, 20 sets would be 20. You said yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah I'm sorry. That's okay. But anyway, so people of Belgium specifically not all the people Belgium isn't them doesn't the president not wear pants there or something I don't that's why I'm a little bit surprised. This is coming from Belgium Yeah, cuz isn't like I thought it was like this seems like Belgium invent like curated bush hair

Yeah, this seems like you would be coming from like Arkansas or something. Yeah from here. No, no, I know we're way puritanical when it comes to sex on every single level and No, this is actually a belgium. We'll tell you what we don't sell those in public here I've never seen an open tiddy gnome before no because if I did I'd have it my house exactly Lewis 85 year young out in Belgium you're this week's hero of the week You did a good job never let them cover those breasts never I actually say that all of our audience He's in this is how he is going to have his Bill Cooper death that all 85 year old men secretly desire Oh, oh shoot out with the police is theoretically natural causes for most men

I think technically if he dies in a shootout with the police we have to give him an American citizenship USA all the way and he's welcome to stay right here and he can put fake boobies on his tomb. I'll watch him all day Absolutely, so here we go This is comes from and this is this email came right in time because it's another it's an email from a dominatrix Oh, I'm a former dominatrix an avid listener in the episode of diabolical stew of human remains There was a mention of male chastity So'd name by diabolical stew of human remains like two weeks ago No kidding there was a mention of male chastity cages and their unfortunate malfunction

Then the question of why the belts were getting high-tech instead of staying simple Yes, right in recent years there has been a large shift at least from what I have seen and clients learn leaning more towards Digital domination this is for various reasons such as they are married embarrassed too busy or too far from a partner Oh, so while the old lock and key is still favorable being able to give that control over to somebody who is not there reduces the Temptation to cheat on punishment. Oh, I forgot about that because it's a whole idea of cheat on punishment where you don't do the thing The cheese and they're like they have a cheese plate in front of you And then you like that though yeah, the thing is that you actually like that No, but often that gives clients to true feeling of having to relinquish that power

So instead of knowing they hold the key and take it off whenever they want someone else does I always wanted that in life I never understood how someone has so much power that they can have a moment in life where they relinquish it What do you mean? Well, I mean, how do you know? Yeah, we're control we have like problems with needing control I don't I mean, I just don't understand like I have so much pie of all this power. I don't know the surplus of power I just need a break from all the power. It seems like it would be kind of nice to have power I have a dominatric friends over the years who always talk about it It's always the guys in the Wall Street power suits that need to be spanked and humiliated and We're in the and I'm I get it. I get it one

I get you liking that, but it is a strange I don't know how someone feels so secure in their quote-unquote. I wonder if there's something with the bullies because obviously we were both Bullied in different ways, but I thankfully didn't get hard during that time period or maybe not I think the bully gets hard. Of course. So I mean, you know, like I was abused in every single which way by these credence in Junior the juniors and the seniors in this high school horrible people But I wonder if that plays into their fantasies now where they were getting hard that whole time and now they need to get paddled Although I don't think any of them have power. They're all like they're probably doing like chew tobacco competitions or something Which if you win you do get quite a bit of

You do get quite a bit of clout I feel like we just made a like a 2% group of our like entire listenership come Like I feel like we just like wandered into a world I don't know where there is a specific group that has been playing out the scenario for a very long time I was looking at the breakdown for OnlyFans Black China makes 15 million dollars a week. Jesus fuck it Christ or is it a month? I don't know either way We are in the wrong business. Yeah All right, so in 2014 I was a recently divorced single mom to two small children

Their bedrooms were upstairs and a baby gate was attached to the wall to make sure they wouldn't come out of their room and fall down the stairs I had a quote-unquote toy room set up for them That was down a short hallway from the living room one night one of my friends from work came by and we watched reanimator We laughed we had fun. It was a good break from the loneliness I was feeling of being a divorcee after we watched the movie and my friend left I began cleaning up popcorn bowls and the various other snack debris went out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw one of my kids ran out from the toy room located around the corner from where I was in the living room Stop and then run back into the toy room

Figure was a completely dark shadow, but in my mind that didn't register did the song tip toe through the window Tiny Tim one of the best the figure was a completely dark shadow But in my mind that didn't register just one of the I fish out my one of my kids was out of the bed when they shouldn't have been So I stomped after them my mean mom boys ready to ask why they were out of bed now That's the true horror right there I locked I looked into the room and saw the dark figure standing there staring at me The figure was child-sized about three to four feet tall completely black no face or any feature visible I quickly went upstairs to check and saw that the baby gate was still locked and both my kids were asleep in their beds

When I came back downstairs, the figure was gone, but I could still sense his presence I went to the toy room and found it empty as I turn around and decided to go back upstairs I felt the boys energy almost tugging at me in a playful manner from behind Oh my god now. I did not feel this physically, but I felt it mentally Hmm stopped afraid to look behind me and see the figure again if you still there and I said knock it off Knock it off. I need to go to bed. Please stay downstairs. That is the power of mom voice by the way. It will transcend You can yell at a ghost absolutely the rest of my time in this house I saw the boys several more times, but I ended up seeing an old man past the hallway outside my bedroom door every night

He would often stop and peer in on me, but never enter I got a calming feeling from the figure almost of this. He was curious It was oddly comforting in a way to have someone or something looking out for me and my two kids I found out later that the previous owner of the house had been an elderly man that had passed away I'm not sure if he died in the house, but obviously his spirit is still attached to the property in some way Well, it seems like a good nice friendly haunting it really does I like a friendly haunting every once in a while and but isn't that up to the eye of the beholder I always think if you are haunted just try to flip it make it seem good until proven otherwise

You know unless they're doing something super nefarious like you know doing that potato routine with two knives And they put the potato on the bottom Those are not feet those are potatoes that it that is just you say wizardry some people call it performance Well, those were great emails Henry. Yeah, weren't they? Alright everyone, thank you all so much for listening to this week's side stories Hope you're hanging in there the best you can this Saturday come check out twitch.tv slash last podcast network 6 p.m. Specific time 9 p.m. Eastern Standard Time check it out. We're doing haunt your house this week's hosts are Amber Nelson Hold the McNally and myself Henry Zabrowski and my wife

Nellie Jean we're gonna be doing the movie. I believe we're watching the original nose ferrata Oh, I'm very excited for and I'm not like four hours long. No, it's all those silent movies. Thankfully. We're very short Oh, thank God But please check it out and I we are starting this stream on time Henry has been quite upset about the lack of Timeliness, but of course we are working on it and yes the the stream will start ASAP It is we will start on time. I swear and we are gonna get it out there. We're staying spooky We're staying kooky. This is the most like Clark Griswold. You've ever been by the way. You know what happened

I bought a ladder you bought a ladder. I think that's what slowly I'm slowly becoming a father From a sitcom. I would feel safer if you bought a loaded shotgun and had it next to your head I don't know. I don't want to see you on a ladder. I never want to see you near a ladder I'm scared of a ladder and but then why did you buy the ladder the new store had a great sale. That's great And it's fun. They're very nice. I'm fun. So make sure it guys It's Halloween Live every day spooky lifestyle go have lunch at a graveyard. Yeah, just hang out there man It's kind of fun

You can just sit in there and guess what the police can't come in and harass you because they know COVID on the graves That's very true. I think that is true. Maybe COVID in the grave, but not on it Laugh at the sheer idea that anyone would I think a Halloween should be fucking three months long I don't understand normally some people get sick of a super long Halloween But this year you can really feel that people are living the Halloween life. They really are they really are And they are laughing at it They're laughing at the people that try to get revenge to them And they just love the fact that every single person who comes in who keeps coming at them because they miss and every time

One of these motherfuckers comes and miss they end up in the fucking ground. Yes indeed Well, if you if you shoot the king if you shoot go for the king don't you fucking miss don't don't take a miss there You're gonna want to make that shot Congratulations speaking a shot for Los Angeles Lakers and also congratulations to you. Mr. Zabrowski. You were on the Miami Heat Instagram home page That's really cool Wall Street meme has become like applied to many things. That's when you were classic seata I miss being old and cup for Burke. Hey, buddy. You're gonna be you'll be back working with the Caprio and Scorsese

I'm gonna be over there fucking catering for a birthday party. Hey, buddy. You never know they don't age Okay, everyone hail yourselves. Hey, let's hate it. Maghuse deletions Say something nice to somebody today, honestly be supportive of someone's dream today someone even if it's yours Maybe not yours. Well, someone needs to be supportive of your dreams and you be supportive of their dream scratch each other's back dream This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network comm