Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Diaper Spa

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

Henry and Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news... but first - Henry sees Dune! (again),  Alaska woman gets 99 years in best friend's catfished murder-for-hire plot, an upd...ate on abusive TikTok Mom Ruby Franke, Rachel Dolezal in the news again after losing teaching job in OnlyFans fiasco, Adult "diaper spa" denied zoning permit in New Hampshire, Toronto man gets prison for tricking men into anonymous sex through "glory hole situation" with sheet, Listener Stories, and MORE!

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hold primates listening! It is I, Numator479. According to our studies of your puny mammalian race, we discovered you like very good coffee. And while it is our evolutionary purpose to cause you psychic torment, we want you awake and vivacious to give it. So try our new blend from Spring Hill Jack Coffee. Reptilian in the morning. Our proprietary blend of lightly roasted cocao husks will have you immediately energized
Starting point is 00:00:34 upon emerging from the pain cloaca with all your slippery new eggs. Thanks, honey. Hot, hot. I'm cold-blooded. Thanks to Spring Hill Jack and Last Hot Gas on the left, I'm ready to get out there and eat some babies. Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton.
Starting point is 00:00:59 There's no place to escape to. This is the Last Hot Gas. On the left. Side stories? That's when cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Dune!
Starting point is 00:01:20 I wanna live in the desert. Oh, you saw it. Riding a worm to my job. It's Dune. Man, I fucking love Dune, dude. It is Dune season. Was it good? No, I haven't seen Dune 2 yet.
Starting point is 00:01:34 Oh, I thought you went and saw it. No. What Dune did you see? The rest of the Dunes. So I have seen so far. I went to go see because Natalie, my intrepid wife, she did not want to join me yet on the dune experience because I tried to show her David Lynch's dune.
Starting point is 00:01:54 That's been in the theater. So that's what you saw. I did see that, but I also saw the new dune, the Denise Villanueva dune in the theater as well. So I saw both in the theater. It's not Dennis? It's Denise?
Starting point is 00:02:11 It's Dune. It doesn't matter what he does. It doesn't matter his name. I just need to know. No, no, because it's not Maudib. It is not Usil, the base of the tower. I do not care.
Starting point is 00:02:22 All right, the golden path. Denise, Dennis. If he's Dennis Villeneuve, then he's not a fancy director. So I'm pretty certain it's Denise. Yeah, but I think it's because it's got an exclamation.
Starting point is 00:02:33 It's got a Denise. It's got a it's a thing. But this is what I'm realizing. All right? Because I'm ready now. I'm preparing my body
Starting point is 00:02:40 spiritually. Natalie wasn't ready to watch Dune. I finally showed her sexy new Dune by Denise. Right? She watched it and she body spiritually natalie wasn't ready to watch dune i finally showed her sexy new dune by denise right she wouldn't you watched it um and she was awake for all of it okay so she did see all of it they build in that alarm clock in the movie soundtrack it's super crucial
Starting point is 00:02:59 all right i stayed up are you a wife who asleep? It is time for the sleeper to awaken. Welcome to Side Stories. I'm Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. Hello. How are you? He's good. They're good.
Starting point is 00:03:11 They're good. But Dune is coming in hot. We're going to be talking to a very special guy this week. He's got a lot to do with Dune. Well, some to do with Dune. Oh, really? We're going to be peppering him with questions about Dune. I'm hyped up.
Starting point is 00:03:25 I got my rude Duners ready to rise up. Yeah. Have you ever seen any of the Dunes? I saw the new Dune, and I seen the documentary Jodorowsky's Dune. Jodorowsky's Dune, which is the best. Yeah, that was my favorite of the Dune movies. Because that was what it should have been done. It technically would show that Alejandro Jodorowsky, controversial filmmaker who made The Holy Mountain,
Starting point is 00:03:44 where he tried to make George Harrison wash his own butthole for three minutes, but he refused, which is why Alejandro Jodorowsky had to put himself in the movie. But he made a thing called Jodorowsky's Dude that was showing all of his plans for this. Basically, we found...
Starting point is 00:03:58 Looks like the coolest movie ever. He invented the summer blockbuster before that wasn't even a thought well no i mean jaws was before that no jaws invented the summer blockbuster but what he was going to do that that ended up being a giant summer blockbuster he came up with this concept of stack casting it and do like doing shit like you know having salvador dali be in it. Do all of this kind of crazy, out there celebrities in it mixed with high, high, high, high, high budget. Because Jaws was still working on a limited budget.
Starting point is 00:04:33 Yes. And so, because I know that Spielberg was never happy with how the shark looked. Well, you know, it kept breaking. Yeah. The shark kept breaking, and then that's actually what made the movie good. If the shark worked, it would have been a much worse movie.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Absolutely, which is why he put so much shark in Schindler's List. Yes. Which, honestly, I'm just glad he got bumped up. It was a great movie. Having him come up out of nowhere and eat Hitler at the end
Starting point is 00:04:54 was one of my favorite surprise endings to a film. Sorry, spoiler alert. That's how Schindler's List ends. Yeah, a shark eats Hitler. Yeah. You're going to need a bigger camp. That's what he said. What a great fake thing.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Are you going with Holden to see the new Dune movie? Unfortunately, yes. Yeah. But yes, I am going with Holden, of course. Who else is going to go? Natalie was conveniently busy. Yeah. When I was going to go see the David Lynch Dune,
Starting point is 00:05:20 which I went to go see that in theater. And I'll tell you what. Those plans got canceled, though. Yes, I know. Yeah, Natalie's plans got canceled because Julie I went to go see that in theater. And I'll tell you what. Those plans got canceled, though. Yes, I know. Yeah, Natalie's plans got canceled because Julie was supposed to go. And so her plans got canceled. And we had a lovely day together. She still said she was booked.
Starting point is 00:05:34 And she wasn't going to make it to the David Lynch's Dune. Because I will give her credit. She's tried to watch David Lynch's Dune several times. But it's like, it's right when he meets the Fremen. Everybody falls asleep. I don't know why, but Kyle MacLachlan is fantastic in that. It made me realize
Starting point is 00:05:49 just how much Kyle MacLachlan is my Paul. Timothée Chabalama-Ding Dong does his best, but honestly, again, he's too fucking skinny. He's too skinny. He's too skinny. I'm looking at his arms. I don't believe him, yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:59 He's not trained fighter. He's not a trained fighter. No. And I'm looking at him like, Timothée Chabalama-Ding Dong. He's too skinny for a walker. He needs, honestly, he should have bulked up. Where's the fuck, where's his trainer? You got fucking, what's his name? fighter he's not a train fighter no and i'm looking at being like he needs honestly he should have bulked up where's the fuck where's his trainer you got fucking what's his name
Starting point is 00:06:09 chris helmsworth or whatever he's all jacked up right he's gonna fill with hgh and shit you can check him up he's got plenty of room i don't get timothy shamalema ding dong he's got shoulders like a net benning he really does he really does have a net bending shoulders. He needs a fucking body. I feel like they are sharp. He needs less bones, more muscles. Sharp tip shoulders they call them. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 00:06:32 Be careful. Be careful. Nowhere near him. But yes, I am excited. I know I'm starting side stories. I'm hijacking for Dune. Tell her spoon Dune. What?
Starting point is 00:06:43 Natalie, you'll spoon and watch dune you'll hold her she can't deal with how hard i get why i watched it so you have to do with holding i guess but um i uh but i was reminded just how good the david lynch is doing actually is the new dude is good it's sexy but we'll see it's an incomplete film can i ask a question we have to wait till Dune 2 because that's one thing I'm watching Dune 1 and all I'm doing is getting a fucking blue balls for the rest of the goddamn story. Now, is the worm
Starting point is 00:07:12 a cock or a vagina? It is a fuck you. It's a god on earth and the proprietor of spice. It's Shai Hulud. But we know that Dune is all like, you know, it's like an allegory for fucking, right? No. The old the eight books. Absolutely incorrect.
Starting point is 00:07:27 Isn't he always talk about it in all the books? He gets hornier after his wife dies. Yes. Frank Herbert got hornier when his wife died his editor he started fucking his other 25 year old editor he bought a convertible and that's when it turned into the honored matriarchs the super women that could control all of society with the power
Starting point is 00:07:44 of their vagina muscles. Yeah. But that was later on. So the worm is a vagina? No. It's a fleshlight? No, it's a guy. It's a god itself. The worm itself? The worm is the embodiment of a... So Arrakis, we can't do this. What are you talking about? I need to learn! Arrakis, you don't need to learn.
Starting point is 00:07:59 But I will force you to. Arrakis has the spice on it, right? And the spice is the most important material on the face of the planet, on the face of the galaxy, the universe. That's why every day I get up, I check my tumor. You always do,
Starting point is 00:08:12 which is why your piss is orange. And so the spice is what allows intergalactic travel. It also prolongs life. It's also how the Bene Gesserit, which is the actual, like, powerful body group of women that are sort of running the various political machinations behind the scenes are they there's
Starting point is 00:08:31 no not the zendaya's and i is one of the friends by the way love the outfit yeah i love her i love her red carpet outfit she looks like a robot um apparently it's old it's like an old outfit but it's it's an allegory for oil and about power basically it's about like what happens dune is really about when the good guys win and become the bad guys again and why and we all look to a superhero or some people look to an uber mensch like the idea of this this guy somebody will show up that will be this perfect combination of like leader and protector and and philosopher king and they will come and they will they will fix all of society and they will make the perfect dictator and that's kind of what paul becomes to uh understand that's what's
Starting point is 00:09:16 happening to him because he can see the future and then so eventually it's about how he's trying to destroy his own path but he doesn't understand the golden path he's on no matter what you do. Okay. Because there's still the children to think of, children of Dune number three. We have a lot of show to get to today. I didn't mean to do this long on Well, I think it's important. You care about Dune. You saw two Dune movies over the weekend.
Starting point is 00:09:37 You're letting this go too much. You have to fight me because I will just talk about Dune. Talk about it baby! But the audience is going away. Yeah. We have to. me because I will just talk about Dune. Talk about it, baby. But the audience is going away. Yeah. We have to. It's true. It's very boring.
Starting point is 00:09:49 They're running away. The movies are awful. But that's the problem is that the movies inherently are not popular. They're not. They're not. The last one made a lot of money, right? Yeah, but it's only because of Timothée Chalamet and Jason Momoa's in there. Momoa is in the new one, too, even though he died. He's going because Timothée Chalamet ding-dong and Jason Momoa's in there. Momoa, he's in the new
Starting point is 00:10:06 one too, even though he died. He's gonna probably come back in three. Johnny Omaha? Duncan Idaho. Johnny Omaha is his name in the pornography. This ain't Dune Triple X, which is honestly pretty good. I would take
Starting point is 00:10:22 that though. There's a lot of sexual things in Dune. There is a lot of sexuality, but it's not all about sex. It's about power and about God, the nature of God. Yeah. I don't know. I'm bored by it. This is my whole life, but this is what I appreciate.
Starting point is 00:10:38 I need this attitude. Yeah, yeah. Because I need something to push against. Sandy Star Trek. Dude, it's a Sandy Star Trek. Dude. It's the Sandy Star Trek. It's way more... It's closer to Star Wars. Yeah. I would put it...
Starting point is 00:10:51 But he was influenced by those things and he changed it up specifically. It's basically... It is showing what happens really... If Luke Skywalker won, like, what really would happen. And it's very interesting. Well, they did win.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Yes, but then they show this idea of like, you know, like, all you have is the Ewoks dancing, going like, and then he waves at the ghost of his father, and he's like, bye-bye! You know, he goes to hell, you know? But it's the, this is different, because it shows that, like, no matter who you think is the
Starting point is 00:11:21 best guy possible, right, like, whoever you think is a hero that's going to fix everything just the responsibility of putting that on that person's shoulders will inherently corrupt them because eventually the responsibility because there's too many people you got to make happy at once i've been reading a lot of marcus aurelius as well which is very interesting about like having an emperor's view on the world which is now you know being subject to uh millions of opinions as a person in ancient history it's actually very similar to what we each all have to deal with just as normal people on the internet every day nowadays so there's a lot of lessons
Starting point is 00:11:55 to be taken from meditations okay great cheers i'm doing good cheers to dude i get a lot i had a lot to upload i saw the bob marley movie yeah movie. Yeah, how was it? It was fine. Great. So now let's get into some news. This story... Ja. Yeah, ja. Ja, man, ja. So this story is fucked up.
Starting point is 00:12:14 This is a good one. There was some good supplementary material on this on Law and Crime, the YouTube channel that I like a lot. Okay. Now, Denali Bremer is not a good person. Now, she believed that she would receive millions for recording a murder for a person that she met on the internet. She's now been sentenced to 99 years for this, her part in the murder. Because she did not actually pull the trigger.
Starting point is 00:12:39 So, this is all fucked up. So, she's not the killer. She's the person who talked them into killing. She was with three juveniles. So Denali Bremer pleaded guilty to first-degree murder in connection with the death of 19-year-old Cynthia Hoffman. Cynthia Hoffman was her quote-unquote best friend, and she had a learning disability.
Starting point is 00:12:59 So I actually think in the end, it's like she thought it would be easier. I think that's why she chose this person as her victim now okay this is five years ago now so this happened in 2019 this all happened because denali bremer met this and convinced four other teenagers to help her uh but she is because she had met this quote-unquote multi-millionaire from kansas just named Tyler. You gotta get a full name.
Starting point is 00:13:27 Yeah. My big thing is about a multimillionaire. Is it a fight club thing? Yeah. I also think that in a place like Kansas, maybe I'm wrong, multimillionaire,
Starting point is 00:13:37 you might have heard something about this person. Or they might have some kind of paper trail. At least you could look up their name. Yeah. And see what their business was.
Starting point is 00:13:45 Well, you don't have a last name. You should get one. Before you agree to do a murder. Yeah. For money. Because this guy who is also, what I love is that in the footage of people talking about these, all of the people involved in this, is they keep using the term not sophisticated. Which is legalese
Starting point is 00:14:05 for everybody's dumb as shit. And they've left a pile, just piles and piles and piles and piles of evidence. Yeah, instant messenger is just, you're just leaving it, you're just leaving evidence. You're just writing it. And if you delete it, they can find it. So it's very, very easy. So now Tyler obviously was not a man named Tyler.
Starting point is 00:14:22 He was a loser by the name of Darren Schillmiller, who was a 25 year old Indiana resident. He was a loser by the name of Darren Schillmiller, who was a 25-year-old Indiana resident. Who's got the worst last names? Because I think there's a paradox because it's like guys that have really bad last names are always gross, but you notice like hot women sometimes have really stupid last names.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Yeah, like if it was like Molly, like Gumperman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like technically she's like like attractive. Yeah. Like what's her name? Remember, you know Shabizness?
Starting point is 00:14:49 Shabizness? Her last name, her first name is Shabizness. She's an absolute utter psychopath. She beheaded her boyfriend and shit, but on a good day
Starting point is 00:14:56 she'd be kind of attractive. Her name is, yeah, she Taylor Shabizness. Okay, Taylor Shabizness. But she was a psychopath. Yeah, I feel like it's just because I'm inherently...
Starting point is 00:15:07 You just attracted the psychopath. She's not attractive. Not all the time, but if she had makeup on, if she wasn't in a jumpsuit, she might be attractive. And then when you find out what she did,
Starting point is 00:15:15 she'd get you in there. You'd get close. That's when she attacked her own attorneys. Yeah, yeah. Shabizness was Taylor Shabizness. We have to cover this in depth because this lady...
Starting point is 00:15:24 Bad for Shabizness. Yes, yes. She is insane. She is really, really... Yeah, yeah. She business was Taylor's business. We have to cover this in depth because this lady. Yes. Yes. She is insane. She is really, really. Yeah, but she did decapitate a guy. Too much girlfriend. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:33 That's the problem. If you've got too much girlfriend, you've got to be able to handle it. Honestly, it's impressive to decapitate a man. It is. It really is. It really is. So on June 2nd, 2019, Denali Bremer and this group. So she got three other, it was a four, there was three other minors and one other that was treated as an adult. Okay.
Starting point is 00:15:52 The group, they lured this poor lady out to Thunderbird Falls saying they were going to go on a hike. And then she was bound with duct tape all around her face. Then she was shot in the back of the head and her body was dumped in the river. But they took up all of these pictures of this. So what this guy, Darren Schillmiller, was looking for... They filmed it or they took pictures? Both. He was looking for proof that they would murder somebody and he would get the proof. He would get this so-called snuff film
Starting point is 00:16:22 and then he would pay all these people $9 million. Snuff films are expensive, but they're not $9 million. It's also like $9 million is just not, it's just not going to happen. Yeah. It's never going to happen. You're not going to, this is from Indiana to fucking Kansas.
Starting point is 00:16:41 $9 million is a stadium. You know what I mean? Like, you're not going to do it. You're not going to get that money. Especially all dollars is a stadium. You know what I mean? Like, you're not going to do it. You're not going to get that money. Especially all the way to Alaska. But that's not where it ended. So,
Starting point is 00:16:50 like, this person is extremely, extremely, I do believe that Denali Bremmer was on her way to doing a bunch of fucked up shit. Yes.
Starting point is 00:16:59 This girl that she murdered viewed herself as her best friend. And this was, and she was mentally handicapped. So partially I think it was this concept of I can get away with this much easier. Each one of the her accessories to the murder were also
Starting point is 00:17:14 promised like 500 grand, 750 grand. I was like, this is just a type of money that it just exists as a concept to these guys. So just this idea of it staying around, because like, look at Denali Bremmer.
Starting point is 00:17:27 What's she doing with $9 million? Hope it's going to Sephora. No. Because she does need a makeover. She's got a big face. It is. It's just,
Starting point is 00:17:35 it's a bad face. Yeah. But of course, now you, you know, it's not the worst part about it. I think she's going to do great in prison. I, you know, she has to now. she's going to do great in prison. I, you know,
Starting point is 00:17:45 she has to now, she's going to be there for 99 years. Um, but one of the worst things too, is that Schill Miller was trying to get many things. So he also, uh, she was also booked on,
Starting point is 00:17:56 uh, child pornography cases. Same thing with Schill Miller, where the Schill Miller was looking for her to make child pornography, like to make like sex videos with young kids and then send them to him, which she did as well. So she was ramping up. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Yeah, she did a bunch of fucked up shit. She's going to be in jail a long time. Did she get paid for those? No. Then why would you escalate to the murder? Because sometimes you got to do spec work. You know. You know how many scripts we send in for free?
Starting point is 00:18:22 It's so, it's like, you can kind of see how it lines up. We have to do a lot of stuff, especially as artists. We have to eat a lot of crow. And that's what that is in the way of crime. Wow. I can't believe this. So what they do, so Schillmiller is. He's also now, he has also been sentenced.
Starting point is 00:18:40 He pleaded guilty to conspiracy. He, what did he get? He also, I believe, got life in prison. Okay. But Caden McIntosh was the kid that was in, actually pulled the trigger. Okay. Right now, their trial is pending.
Starting point is 00:18:57 Caleb Leyland, who told police that he thought he would get 500 grand for letting Bremer use his vehicle as part of the killing, pleaded guilty to murder in the second degree. It's part of a plea agreement. His sentence is scheduled to begin in June. And the other adolescents, their stuff is all wrapped up because you can't, they don't report on juvenile crimes. Interesting.
Starting point is 00:19:15 Yeah, so it is like, this is Anchorage. What I did love was that the mayor of Anchorage, he had the fucking balls to come out and be like, now Alaska's not known for murder. And it's like, there's been very, and you're like, bro. Yeah, it's because they can't find the bodies, dude. 64,000 people like a year ago missing in Alaska. Also one of the most popular television shows in the world right now
Starting point is 00:19:41 is about murder in Alaska. That is literally what the entire show is about. It's about how prevalent the is about murder in Alaska. That is literally what the entire show is about. It's about how prevalent the murder rates are in Alaska. I do feel like the ending kind of took a hard right but whatever. I liked it. People liked it. You're allowed to like it. It was very Hitchcock.
Starting point is 00:19:56 How? I can't say how because then I'm spoiling it for anyone who hasn't seen it. Imagine there's a world where our audience is deaf. Okay. Can we bleep it or something? No. Oh, alright. Well, I mean, it just ended up
Starting point is 00:20:12 not being supernatural. Yes. Yeah. That's angering. I thought that was cool. I hate that. I like that. I want ghosts! Well, they don't exist. Un-fucking-believable. Fly from your grave. All right.
Starting point is 00:20:28 Well, that's one sad story. Here's another sad story. I'm just going to quickly... I'm not going to even get into it because you should go check out... I didn't have any jokes about that. No, no, no. Of course not.
Starting point is 00:20:38 It's like... So this is about Ruby Frankie. I just... If you want another... Just ruin your day. Give me some of those quick give me some give me some up all right so julie ruby frankie was a bitch who ran a youtube channel called eight passengers um they she was arrested for aggravated child abuse under utah law uh and now it just was
Starting point is 00:21:00 today what the 20th was sentenced to 60 years in prison for four counts of child abuse. Oh, my God. Because they threw the book at her what she needed. What did she do? Ruby Frank worked with a woman named Dr. Jodi Hildebrandt, who's also probably going to be covered by Last Podcast on the left sometime soon, who was this sort of like therapist, family doctor person um they're all of the lds faith everybody's a mormon and they uh is that still legal it's because but the normal mormons are
Starting point is 00:21:36 fine the normans the normans are fine you know i mean like a lot of them obviously it's like the religion as a whole has its issues but like you, you know, most Mormons are just kind of like, ah, gee shucks. I'm trying. I'm not fucking my wife that much. You know what I mean? Like in Mormon, they want you to. But like these guys were, they, so some points underneath and Natalie especially is, I'm not going to go as far as to say obsessed, but close with the idea of family vloggers.
Starting point is 00:22:04 Like these guys that she calls family exploitation it's her it's her dune yes um it's the the idea of people posting their family to social media for uh to make money yeah uh and they say a bunch of advice
Starting point is 00:22:20 kind of out their fucking asshole and they just kind of make shit up but this person ruby frank under the i guess the guidelines of dr jody hildebrandt uh advice, kind of out their fucking asshole. And they just kind of make shit up. But this person, Ruby Frank, under the, I guess the guidelines of Dr. Jodi Hildebrandt, literally tortured her children. Like, not even, that's not even like an exaggeration.
Starting point is 00:22:36 She beat them and tied them up and shit? They were tied up. They were starved. They were forced to sleep outside. They were forced to stand up. Did she put it on YouTube? She was forced to do will. No. She put that on. Did she put it on YouTube? She was forced to do... No. She put that on... She was mostly this kind of soft, vaguely attractive,
Starting point is 00:22:50 normal Mormon mom that was paired and making content with this lady, Jodi Hildebrandt, who's actually like the true fucking... The actual evil woman,
Starting point is 00:23:01 even though this woman is also evil. But the other woman is the double evil one. Yeah, yeah. This woman's evil and an idiot. The woman is also evil. But the other woman is the double evil one. Yeah, yeah. This woman's evil and an idiot. The other person's evil. Truly evil.
Starting point is 00:23:09 But they created a thing together called Connections. Jodi Hildebrandt and her, like, and it was just kind of like loose influencer kind of Mormon goop mixed with relationship advice, mixed with family advice and all this stuff. The idea is that you would like, you know, spray the kids with pepper spray, put cayenne pepper in their food, like do all these kind of like weird fucked up direct punishment things because like, I don't know why, but basically to bring back capital punishment for children. And the idea that that helps kids like she she went viral for ruby frank herself went viral for a period of time because she posted about how her daughter's
Starting point is 00:23:51 responsibility her daughter was like young and it was her daughter's responsibility to make a lunch before going to school and she forgot and so she went to school with no food and teacher called home and said hey you know your daughter has no food today. You know, will you pay for her to get lunch? And she said, no. She said that that was her responsibility. She can go hungry. And so then she made a video defending herself,
Starting point is 00:24:14 which obviously she got read to filth. Of course. Across the board. Because that's not what you do. No, you got to feed children. It's just food. And you don't really need to treat every child like they are
Starting point is 00:24:25 in a super max prison. No. Because I feel like that's going to make an Andrews Bradford. It's going to make something bad. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:33 Even as far as a Stephen Miller it could make. And when you overfeed your children, you get us. But again, food is love. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:41 That's what I learned from a young age. Food is love. And yes, does that make me sort of have an unhealthy attachment to food at some points? Yeah, sure. Yeah. But's what I learned from a young age. Food is love. And yes, does that make me sort of have an unhealthy attachment to food at some points? Yeah, sure. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:47 But at least it's food and not crank. God, I love feeding people. I love to feed people. I love to eat. I love the physical sensation of eating. Eating, I was trying to explain to Natalie. I went to my literally- Do you like more eating or shitting?
Starting point is 00:25:01 Oh, buddy. I like eating more. I think so. I like eating more. I think so. I like eating more because, like, I was about to say, like, shitting because that's time for me. But then I also, when I piss, I sit down. Really? Yeah. You don't pee standing up anymore?
Starting point is 00:25:14 When I want to. Really? When I'm amongst men. Yeah? Like, if I go to a man area or a concert. In the middle of the night, though? Yeah, I'll pee. No, I pee.
Starting point is 00:25:24 I stand up and pee. Because what I do is I go in the complete dark and I just pee till I hear water. Yeah. I just open it. That's how you search it for it. You might as well just keep your eyes closed. Yeah, it doesn't really matter. But yeah, but I'm pretty good at getting to the water. I got a nightlight. You should try it. What do you mean? A little light that
Starting point is 00:25:40 you put in the socket. I was thinking putting those glow strips. Inside the toilet? Yeah. I mean, if you had a green nuclear toilet, that's something I could thinking putting those glow strips inside the toilet. Yeah. I mean, if you had a green nuclear toilet, that's something I could see you wanting. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:50 That's awesome. Secret of the ooze. Ooh. Oh, ooh. Secret of the poos. Yeah. My shits are glowing, Natalie.
Starting point is 00:25:58 My shits are glowing. So, Ruby Frank, Dr. Jodi Hildebrandt, she's going to go back on, they are going to do something with her. She's going on trial at some point, but Ruby Frank Dr. Jodi Hildebrandt she's going to go back on they are going to do something with her she's going on trial
Starting point is 00:26:07 at some point but Ruby Frank completely pleaded guilty across the board and they're going to beat her to death now I don't think so I think that she
Starting point is 00:26:13 she's trying to show remorse she is throwing Dr. Jodi Hildebrandt completely under the bus she's saying I was under the hold of this this megalomaniac
Starting point is 00:26:23 it doesn't matter no I don't think it matters either. Yeah, it doesn't matter. You did it. Whether you were you're dumb enough to to get under the hold then you fucked.
Starting point is 00:26:31 But sometimes you do have to understand I I dealt with this a lot when we were doing various series in Scientology and dealing with how a man by the name of Michael Rinder
Starting point is 00:26:42 is the like him and Leah Remini run that show together. They had a podcast together. They did Go and Clear. They did all that kind of, but Mike Rinder, and before all of this, was the fucking head of the Scientology Gestapo.
Starting point is 00:26:57 Like, he was the head of their punishment brigade, and he didn't flip until it was coming for him, and so there, for a while, like I do get upset kind of on this idea that, well, you get to make money now. I know that you're apologizing. You're apologizing and you're trying to make it right. So on that hand, I believe in rehabilitation.
Starting point is 00:27:15 I believe that you can get better. I believe that you could do shit and change. But you still, there are consequences to what you do. Which is kind of, I think what he got was personal consequences. I think that his life fell apart. And I think that he just has to hang out with Leah Remini all the time. But Leah Remini sounds lovely.
Starting point is 00:27:30 She does sound lovely. I want to be around her. And obviously, I have the Kevin James's fucking hankering for her. Oh, she's beautiful. Yeah, of course. Yeah. The idea of any fat, dumpy man from Queens, when you look at King of Queens, you're like, that's the fuck in life.
Starting point is 00:27:44 Yeah. That right there. Yeah. Is nice. Yeah. You can get an attractive woman, even though you're a big, fat, stupid idiot. But that's just called, that's called television. And then what you need to do actually is be very funny.
Starting point is 00:27:54 And then you just wait for a beautiful woman to be treated poorly for a long time. And then you get in there. Is that how we got married? What? You and Julie? Oh, you and me. Yeah. Yep.
Starting point is 00:28:07 I'm like, which one? which one is the hot chick um uh but yes that is a yes so we'll get to this but let's do some place underneath stories on this this is just like because it goes much deeper it's just absolutely fucked and you know these lds people keep doing these offshoots between, you know, something like this, between the lady who poisoned her husband and wrote the book about it, between that and the fucking, you know, Lori Vallow and that whole storyline. All of these, like, little minor LDS mini-cults
Starting point is 00:28:36 are very dangerous. And you gotta be careful. I mean, poison your husband, that's one thing, but when you abuse a child, that's a whole nother. That's all I ever hear. Poison the husband, who cares? Yeah. That's all I ever hear. Poison the husband. Who cares? Yeah. That's all I ever hear.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Yeah. Because we're disposable, aren't we? We are. There's so many extra dudes out there. It's true. But I am in therapy for this. You have to remember, we're not disposable. This is why you're in therapy?
Starting point is 00:28:57 One of the many reasons. One of the many, many, many reasons. Of all you therapists, who's your favorite? I love this little tiny man I've invented that I speak to every day. Because you know what I love about mini Henry? He's always like, you're right, Henry. And I love that guy.
Starting point is 00:29:14 Like when he comes out and I am, I'm going to be like, what should I do? Should I set fire to the neighborhood? And like, I look over and get a little can of gasoline. And I've just been like, yes, tiny Henry. You're incredible. But yes, that's a horrible story. And then we have
Starting point is 00:29:29 one more horrible story which was the, oh! Ha ha ha! Not horrible. One of my favorite storylines, obviously, for a lot of us. We all love the true ascendancy. And we all rooted for a lot of us. We all love the true ascendancy.
Starting point is 00:29:46 And we all rooted for Rachel Dolezal. Yes. As a country, everybody did. I know. We all did. I kind of liked her. Well, that's your opinion. And you're allowed to have that. Yeah. SideStories.lpotel.gmail.com But Rachel Dolezal, she got got.
Starting point is 00:30:02 What happened now? I mean, I know what what happened this is just an example yes yes yes thank you honestly good no good um first of all i want to just explain that this is another way for the white establishment to come after a black woman in society and i can't fucking believe how dare they treat rachellezal, a black woman. Yeah. This way. All right.
Starting point is 00:30:27 Rachel Dolezal, who now goes by the name in catch a Diallo. Yeah. Yeah. She lost her job with the Catalina Foothills school district because they found her only fans. Now I've seen her only fans. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:30:39 Her art page is about to fucking give my computer a virus. Yes. I have, I have done research. Oh, you subscribe? No, I don't do. I don't have a OnlyFans account. Well, how do you see it if you don't? You just do. Let the Googling
Starting point is 00:30:54 do the fucking talking, my friend. Rachel Dolezal. Look it up right now. Rachel, I've seen a blurred picture. Get to the... There's unblurred. Oh, yeah? Yeah, you can look at it right here. OnlyFans. You're not bringing up on this. She has big she has big breasts yeah i mean she's just showing her this is just yeah she's just straight up showing her butthole but you know like again this is what she's had to do because historically black women in this country don't make as much as white women
Starting point is 00:31:19 all right so that's what she's had to do now with those of the choice that she made that's the choice that she made. And I obviously, I'm getting a lot of probably, I'm already hearing the feedback and people like already being upset. But I want you to understand, I'm with you. I'm just as angry about what they did to Rachel Dolezal as anybody else.
Starting point is 00:31:38 And I do think that she needs to be put in front. I don't know where she needs to go. I don't know, what's a good job for her? Well, OnlyFans is great. I don't know where she needs to go. I don't know. What's a good job for her? OnlyFans is great. I mean, it's a fine job. I think this is great advertisement for her, OnlyFans. But what people don't talk about with OnlyFans is the taxes. Taxes are extremely
Starting point is 00:31:54 difficult. Really? Yes. It's hard to put it all together, especially if you have multiple streams of income. It's extremely difficult. Unless you're making that bank, bank, bank. She might be making that money. She's making good money. She finally changed her OnlyF name back to rachel dole she had to probably for legal reasons because but also that's great for i don't know why she was using the other name because who gives a fuck about nikeki diallo i think the reason why she changed her name eddie
Starting point is 00:32:19 is so that she could further show people that she's a black lady. Now, for those of you who don't know, Rachel Dolezal is white. Now, Rachel Dolezal was under fire in 2014, accused of misidentifying herself as black while serving as the head of the NAACP in Spokane, Washington. Now, that's really the issue, because she was a prominent civil rights leader, an African studies professor uh and i do have she was still teaching black women struggle african-american art history african history she was continuing to lie to another university well
Starting point is 00:32:56 i mean about being black well she was teaching just because you're teaching it doesn't mean you have to be it right but if you change your name to Nkeche Diallo, if I showed up as Henkembe Zabundo, what would you say? Like, if I arrived, look at the haircut. She's got the beehive haircut. But again, I understand. Rachel Dolezal came from a very troubled background. But her teaching name was
Starting point is 00:33:17 Rachel Dolezal. It was. It was. No, not at the university. She changed her name to Nkeche Diallo to get the job at the Catalina Foothill School District because she's famously a white woman pretending to be a black woman who has an OnlyFans. And so it is just a difficult, it doesn't make you a bad person,
Starting point is 00:33:35 but it makes you not maybe your number one candidate for your local community college teaching position, unfortunately. Because I actually don't think that being an OnlyFans model has got anything to do with you being a teacher, except for the fact it might be difficult. I don't know. If everybody's jerking off to you, I mean, how do I deal with it? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Everybody's fucking jerking off to me. How does everybody pay attention to me? I go to the DMV. Everybody's fucking boning up. No one looks at my face. Everyone's just looking at my fucking body. Everybody's just thinking about what it would be like to get my ankles up in the air and fucking be face deep with my muff. Alright? And I understand that,
Starting point is 00:34:09 but what am I going to do about that? That's just how I'm born. That's just what I, and all the work that I've put in to look like this. Yeah. I just, you know, I always have a soft spot for her because at least she was trying to do good. It's, it's just the, it's the hubris. She is an idiot. It's the, it's to do good. It's just the hubris. She is an idiot.
Starting point is 00:34:26 It's more of that. It's just more, and we're all confused. No one knows what to do because, yes, it's just, you know, when you just go deeper and catch a diallo, that's what's hard. That's what's hard, is if she just stayed Rachel or just like, you know, Sally Dolezal, changing up a little bit i mean if you change
Starting point is 00:34:47 your name to what would you say you changed and kembe zabundo i'd be proud of you oh man i mean you'd be bad for the show this is it but yes this is what in general like yeah but you have to think about that first yeah because again if i go i want you to be you yeah if i go to transracial i'm not being me i'm being a black man you know i mean i'm not transracial transracial, yeah, if I go to transracial, I'm not being me. I'm being a black man. You know what I mean? I'm not transracial. Transracial, I don't know if it is a thing.
Starting point is 00:35:09 Sidestores, LPOTL at gmail.com. No, it's not a thing. Yeah, I don't think it is. Because I remember I asked these questions back then. And everyone gets mad.
Starting point is 00:35:17 And everyone was like, no, you got to stop asking those questions. Everybody's going to be really mad already. Yeah. Just talking about this. But that's why she's doing it. Maybe. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:26 I also find it fascinating because I mean, you know, those braids are tight. Yeah. She's got a tight curl. I don't know how she gets that. She's never like physically harmed anybody. No, not at all. And she went through a lot of trauma as a kid and the black
Starting point is 00:35:42 people in her family, people who took care of her, were all black. She identified with them. I utterly, I understand. It's the jerk. It just, yes, it is the jerk. It literally is. And so I do understand. It's just, it's just a lot.
Starting point is 00:35:57 It's just like, it's just if I arrived, like let's say, you know, if I did say one day. If you showed up dressed like you were in college. Yeah. In my Afrocentric phase. Yeah. But I never said I was a black man.
Starting point is 00:36:14 No, you didn't. I just wore a knit cap. Yeah. And I had the dashiki. Yeah. And cowboy boots, which I think was a good combo, but I was because I was 310 pounds. Yeah, it was the only shirt that fit you. I liked the look.
Starting point is 00:36:26 No one said anything at the time. No. Right? I mean, we made fun of you. Yeah, but it was also fun. I didn't think you were being racist. I was just thinking you looked ridiculous. No, I just looked I was always accepted with wide arms from all the people from FAMU.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Yeah. Like, you could see, because again, it wasn't until later, because now I have a knit cap, and I put it on, and I realize, oh, it's not good. Also, I don't have the hair, but I had the hair to fill it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:51 So that was cool. Yeah, that's cool. I look cool. Danny Petrosian gave me that knit hat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, he's from PFUNK.
Starting point is 00:36:59 He's from PFUNK. Yeah, there's that. That's how I felt. Yeah. And then George Clinton pulled me on stage at one time. Yeah, he did. You know, and I got to go from the window to the walls. Yeah, that was fun, man. Yeah, it's that. That's how I felt. Yeah. And then George Clinton pulled me on stage that one time. Yeah, he did. You know, and I got to go from the window to the walls. Yeah, that was fun, man.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Yeah, it's the best. I'll always burn in my brain. Yeah. Yeah, I love that. Yeah. So you should join the end of like. I'm just saying I stick. I'm sticking.
Starting point is 00:37:18 I love black people and I want them to thrive. Yes. You know, and I just like their look. You know what it is? It's like, in all seriousness, it's like, you can't be in charge. No. You can only help. Yes. You can hang out. That's the thing. I think that's what her real crime is.
Starting point is 00:37:34 It's also just a lot of... All joking aside. Truly. And in reality, it's the idea of like, oh, you get to choose our identity when you are, when it's good for you and not when you got to actually have a more privileged
Starting point is 00:37:47 growing up as a white person. Even though, like, technically, Rachel Dolezal had a horrible childhood, but it's still that idea of, like, there were implicit things
Starting point is 00:37:54 that you don't have to deal with that I would have to deal with as a black person. And I can see why they're extremely upset about that,
Starting point is 00:38:01 especially if you got a job that you probably took from a black person because you're pretending to be a black person. Yeah, that's the issue. That's the main issue. It's the hair. Yeah, the hair.
Starting point is 00:38:14 But if you had otherwise, good honor. I guess. I'm trying to figure out, because this next story I might get in even more trouble. She's got a podcast. Wow, what an accomplishment. Wow.
Starting point is 00:38:31 No way. I'm taking it all back. Now, I'm going to compare this to this next story, and I know that this is going to get me more in trouble, but I'm just like, imagine me, right? Just before you, you're angry with me. Just too late. Just think about what it's like
Starting point is 00:38:46 looking from here out right um most of my life is aliens serial killers yeah and esoteria right like that's what i read a lot about i'm currently reading through all of john keel's books about going all the various humanoid encounters and this is like that's what i read normally at home so when it comes to certain social things i don't always understand uh but i'm hoping you know so i'm not going to directly compare rachel dolezal to the adult baby community but i might yeah in a way that it's a it is a costume and it does change how people maybe receive you. Yeah. Right. And this is a story that is,
Starting point is 00:39:30 it's interesting because if everybody's an adult, where's the crime? I don't know. So this is, this came about, this is in New Hampshire, uh, decidedly an anti baby state.
Starting point is 00:39:44 Yeah. Because the zoning board has denied an application for a quote-unquote diaper spa in Atkinson. You know, you don't put diaper in the name of your business. Well, I'm down with the diaper in the business. It's the spa. Because all I imagine is, because it's for people to dress as adult babies,
Starting point is 00:40:04 and they wear, they wear diapers. And I do believe, and this is another one of those, I'd love to get an email on this side stories, LPOTLGmail.com. I've got received mail from the adult baby diaper lover community, the ABDL community. Yeah. Um, I have received information from them, so I know it's not all sexual, but I do want to know just poo-poo in the diaper is that separate from just hanging out in the diaper like it's a poo-poo time in the diaper and the pee-pee time in the diaper is that a separate afternoon than just hanging out do you immediately change it or do you sit in it for a while i don't know i'd love to know side stories lpotl at gmail.com that's a a great question. The reason why I don't like a diaper spa is that if it's
Starting point is 00:40:46 a poo-poo afternoon, that shit is going to get steamed. I'm just putting it in the air. We're all now sitting in your poo-poo. We're in a dysentery mist. If they're there, they like it. Babies don't go to spas. That's one thing.
Starting point is 00:41:02 Not anymore. They never do. No, not thanks to fucking Biden. It's too hot. I can't believe. Why can't my baby relax? I'm trying to see me here. I'm trying to get a massage. Yeah, fuck it.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Baby, put a baby in a sauna. Baby's got to figure it out. Baby needs to get gains. Baby does not figure anything out. Baby gets sauna. Baby gets cold plunge. Cold plunge? Get it cut, man.
Starting point is 00:41:23 You got to get the hydrochlorates up. You gotta build up. I want my baby to look like little Joe Rogan. I want it to be covered in veins. He does look like a baby. He does. Huge nipples. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this town, the Atkinson Town Hall, it was a three-hour meeting where there was apparently a long discussion. Now, this
Starting point is 00:41:39 came from a place, this lady, Colleen Murphy. She applied to run this diaper spa out of her home on pope road right now what she's saying is that the community members raise safety concerns but having a business in their neighborhood referencing park playgrounds because they are trying to connect the adult baby diaper lover community to pedophilia which is actually it's not not it's not if you're the baby then it's then yeah that's you're allowed so even if you masturbate and you're the baby that's not absolutely not you're right you're
Starting point is 00:42:13 right you're creating fun scenarios yeah this is all stuff that we have a lawyer might have to think about one day there is no pedophilia in that no but finally a baby you could shake exactly you could shake the shit out of Gary. Yeah. You know what I mean? You can shake the fucking shit out of Deirdre, the 42-year-old baby. But this is what this person is saying, is that what they are opening, this
Starting point is 00:42:35 diaper spa, is not sexual in nature. That it's for people that have experienced PTSD, intense trauma, and they want to go regress. She's saying that when you go to this places and you're like it is a wonderful form of therapy she says you go in and it's clean and they will have um they have blankets they have baby minute music like baby shark yeah it's probably playing pretty good. Um, just saying like rattle, but it's like,
Starting point is 00:43:08 this is a therapy, right? This idea, as long as the people change their diaper, once they go to the bathroom in their diaper, then it should be allowed. According to Colleen Murphy. Uh,
Starting point is 00:43:19 this is that you're supposed to go. It helps them process. A lot of times at childhood trauma, when they were in diapers or just getting out of diapers and they want to feel that safety that they had before that so you go to diaperspa.com and find out you know they have burping things they got things that you can do mommy tummy sessions or where you cuddle with somebody and diaper yeah the diaper spa the diaperspa.com diaperspa.com and it was like this was a um this was a nursery spa care.
Starting point is 00:43:45 So you would go through and you'd get your bottom wiped. You would get your dick and balls or your vagina powdered. And you'd get that. It was all decorated. It looked like a baby's nursery. The small beds. They said that they pumped in the smell of warm cookies. You could still, like, book virtual dates.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Yeah, oh yeah. yeah no it's very much open and I ended up on abdl match.com it's the dating site for adult baby diaper lovers babies don't date but adults do dress as babies but they have to be put together in a playpen
Starting point is 00:44:19 wouldn't they want someone to be a mommy or a daddy I don't know I think a lot of times they just want baby. Yeah? I think they just want baby. But now this woman is trying. Baby on baby. That's gross to me.
Starting point is 00:44:30 It is gross. It should be gross. But not if everybody's got a mustache. Dr. Colleen Ann Murphy was a trained and licensed medical doctor. So this is the first one of these. But I can see why people are freaking out. Because they have this idea that it's super weird. And it's like, you know, it's one of those things where it's like if you're an adult baby diaper lover i'll hang out
Starting point is 00:44:49 with you you know i mean i'll hang out i would prefer to not hear a crinkle you know what i mean like if i know you're if i know you're because i call it packing if you're packing now like maybe separate it i don't know is that how people need diapers. That's not what I'm saying. But if someone who needs a diaper and you hear a crinkle, are you going to get upset? No, of course not, because they're not... But if they want the diaper, then you're mad. If you're doing it for fashion, I want to have a conversation before we go out to eat. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:19 If you're doing it for... Like, if you're doing it because you're in therapy and you want to be treated as a baby, it's going to be difficult to go to the beer barn. Well, you shouldn't be allowed in. You're underage. Exactly, because you're a little baby. Yeah. But I think that we're going to, I can hear the emails.
Starting point is 00:45:36 I got a lot of corrections this week. We're going to be also talking about an Andrews Brevik, too. Got a lot of corrections this week, but I want to show you I'm open. Yeah. I'm open to change. I'm open to learn. But I wonder, because the adult baby diaper lover thing is just very specific. This should be in Vegas. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:45:53 Not New Hampshire. Not New Hampshire. They're not open. Vermont even over New Hampshire. Vermont's just super liberal. Yeah. That's the only place where you could be. You go to be a lesbian who shoots people this woman's only crime is location i would say that's the biggest issue yeah yeah yeah if you yeah san francisco florida all the adults are in diapers everybody yeah you might
Starting point is 00:46:17 as well make it cool yeah and it's like but this was also found on the libs of tiktok account so they were obviously being made fun of so like that's why on one hand i do understand and y'all know you adult baby people you know people do make fun but at the same time i understand that if it comes from your trauma you do whatever the fuck it is you do got to do i don't give a shit you know i mean also if it's inside four walls right if you don't put the adult baby diaper spa in the lobby of the AMC, I'm not going to see it. You know what I mean? Then you can do whatever you want. I also like, you can wear a diaper out
Starting point is 00:46:51 if that's what you need to do. But I do feel like as one of those, if you're openly poo-pooing, you should give people a heads up. Because I feel like everybody would not be super into it. You have to think about everybody else. It's like why the guy with the gimp suit was... What if they just called it an exclusive bathroom?
Starting point is 00:47:09 Family? Go to the family bathroom. Family bathrooms. I'm not even worried about the bathroom issue. No, I'm just saying, if you called the whole place a bathroom... I mean, yes, it's gross, but I'm trying to find a loophole for these people. No, they're trying to say it here. They're trying to say it's normal. That is what they're trying to say.
Starting point is 00:47:24 I mean, it's not normal. It's not normal. But it is. It's allowed. It's allowed. But it's not normal. It's just what's normal. What's normal? Not this? Clothes? Act at your age.
Starting point is 00:47:40 You mean office culture and capitalism? Yeah. That is normal. And I don't want to go there either. No. What's your most abnormal inner thought, you think? Mine? What's the thing that you think that you have that nobody else has?
Starting point is 00:47:57 I mean, I dream about killing people all the time. This is great. This is really, really good. Those are dreams, though dreams though yeah those are dreams those dreams when i wake up i'm like i'm not happy i had the dream no not at all yeah those those are technically they're nightmares great yeah that's good to see you should lead with that yeah and it's nightmares about killing people yeah oh my man. I don't know. What is it? I mean, I learned recently that picking your nose causes Alzheimer's. I pick my nose. What do you mean
Starting point is 00:48:30 it causes Alzheimer's? Because you put a bunch of bacteria up in your nose, apparently. And it's called, and it's like a root cause of Alzheimer's. Like 91% of the people
Starting point is 00:48:39 who have Alzheimer's pick their nose. They change science every day. They really do. I mean, that's the whole science. Yeah, that's the whole reason
Starting point is 00:48:44 they have scientists. I don't know if that's real. Yeah, that's the whole reason they have scientists. I don't know if that's real. I think you've just made so many people upset. Growing body of evidence shows that damaging the lining of your nose because bacterium virus is a clear pathway to the brain where they create some of the pathologies of Alzheimer's disease. Wow. That's not good. No. Do you pick your nose?
Starting point is 00:49:00 No. Really? Well, I mean, I pull. How do you get it out? I'll pull. Yeah, I do. Well, yeah, I do pick my nose. Yeah, sure. But I don't eat it. You just have to wash your... I didn't say I ate it. I said I pick my nose. You wash your hands first, though. Now, from now on, you have to...
Starting point is 00:49:10 If you're going to pick your nose, you got to wash your hands first. I wish there was a tool. There is. There are tools. But I mean, like a stick. Yes. What? They have little scoops and shit.
Starting point is 00:49:20 There's no booger scoops. Yeah, and you're supposed to use it for your ears, ears too because Q-tips push your earwax in. Booger scoops? I have them, but I've never used them. I feel like the only way you'd have a booger scoop is if you'd be using it for fucking cocaine. This is for babies. That's just, that's a water tube. That's what my father uses to get his earwax out. This is what should be at
Starting point is 00:49:38 the baby spa. See, this would be nice at the baby spa. You can go, you can clear it out. There are earwax and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, this is nice. These are earwax and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah, this is nice. These are just babies. Again, this is all just baby nasal aspirin. That's for sucking out. There is no such thing as a booger spoon.
Starting point is 00:49:51 I mean, I have, I'm going to show you what I got. I don't have it with me, but I'll bring it tomorrow. You just got to stop, right? It's all these little, you have little. Show and tell. Yeah, that's cute. Okay, that's cute. Julie bought it for me for Christmas.
Starting point is 00:50:02 There it is. That's how bad it was? She bought me the ears thing because she wanted me to stop using Q-tips. See, I love Q-tips. I love how they feel. They feel so good. I'm never going to stop.
Starting point is 00:50:12 I was trying to explain to Natalie about how it's that feeling, and I went to go eat at my absolute favorite restaurant in the world, just a place called Gun Show in Atlanta, and they made this chicken liver candy bar. I've been eating a lot of liver lately. it was so i almost cried and i was trying to explain to her that my horniness for food we were talking about this before about the connection of food and
Starting point is 00:50:35 overeating food is love yeah it's that it's a it is horny like the feeling i feel about food is horniness yeah but it's not horniness like i don it's not horniness. Like, I don't get hard. It's satisfaction. No, no, I don't get hard when I eat. Thank God. But if I did, it'd all be better. It's so annoying. I'd be fucking a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:50:52 Yeah. But it's like, I, but I do feel it is a horniness. Yeah. When I'm eating the food. Like, it turns my system on. Mm-hmm. You know? Yeah, I mean, yeah, there's feeders, there's gainers and all that stuff.
Starting point is 00:51:06 But I'm not a feeder or a gainer because that's still sexual. Yeah? Yeah, I believe. Sexual arousing involving food is arguably the most social acceptable form of paraphilia. But I'm not into this idea of like, I don't like food and sex. I think that's gross. You don't put like whipped cream on the body?
Starting point is 00:51:22 No, no, it's gross. I don't do that either. No, because then it smells. Yeah. It smells like old milk. And they get all sticky and stuff. And I'm covered in hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not sexy. You are the food. I'm the food. You're the food. Me the food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, God.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Speaking of me being the food. Alright, so I think we've done enough on the A. Hopefully we get some answers from our diaper people. They're not going to allow this spa to happen anytime soon. I've looked it up. They're shutting down. They pulled all the permits. We'll see what happens. They're going to take it. They've already been talking about taking it to the Supreme
Starting point is 00:51:53 Court, but they seem busy. Yeah. I don't know if the Supreme Court is going to get to it. Adult baby diapers. The brand is Krinkles, by the way. Diapers that offer fun and bright prints uh north shore carries uh crinkles diapers available in astronaut aquanaut and original i feel like if we're doing these for adults can we make it a little bit more like where's my dune one
Starting point is 00:52:19 yeah you know that would be cool in order to get through the movie anyway i mean it's very the next one's even longer than the first one. Yeah. Diapers with extra thick padding, playful designs, and quality protection are features that ABDLs love. This is what we need is dune diapers. And then every time you piss in it, it says, you know, like... Poon.
Starting point is 00:52:36 Bless the maker. It says... Diapers for your poon. They're dune diapers. Wow. I see. That's fun. North Shore also offers ABDL diapers with stylish designs and premium protection.
Starting point is 00:52:47 The Megamax is the Supreme collections are available in tab style. See, I pee a lot. Call me when Zara's doing it. You know what I mean? Like, that's high fashion. Yeah. That's not like, that's, this is not high fashion. This is just more companies just looking to get into the adult baby diaper lover market.
Starting point is 00:53:04 Yeah. You know, but yeah, that's the thing. I piss a lot. Babies only piss a little. Yeah. If I'm pissing big into this, like let's say I've just taken my blood pressure medication. Even old people, they pee a little.
Starting point is 00:53:15 Their whole prostate's all jammed up. It's leaking in and out. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or it's just like if you're a lady who's had a baby sometimes, if you've got a vagina and you have a baby, the little leakage comes out too. Yeah. Right? Also, shit every time i piss i get a little bit in the underwear yeah a little bit the shit i took earlier today that ain't fitting in the diaper no way buddy
Starting point is 00:53:33 what i did today yeah i ate a pound of brussels sprouts last night a full pound yeah why that's who fills me up i ate a pound of brussel sprouts I add some salmon That's what I eat To not have carbs So I get full on the vegetables That's nice I can't stop the carbs man I made soup and I put rice in it
Starting point is 00:53:58 Double up the veggies And then the veggies get you full And then my shite Is pushed to the maximum yeah all right let's get into this one last story before we get out of here this was a uh i was just thankful that this came in last night yeah you got to really be careful right with uh i've never used the glory hole. The idea of confidently... You know what it is?
Starting point is 00:54:26 Is that my gut... They can go ahead and take the word glory out as far as I'm concerned. It's my tragedy hole. My main issue is like... And I have the problems with yoga too. I love doing yoga. But I've got a big gut. And the thing about yoga,
Starting point is 00:54:41 especially if you're doing stuff belly first on the ground, you're kind of expecting to not have as big of a gut yeah because it's hard for you to kind of maybe access some of the muscles you're looking to access but my problem with the glory holes is that i can't imagine my dick going past like i can see my dick yeah but i don't know if it necessarily goes that much farther than my belly i think it's for skinny people, glory holes. Of dying people. Yeah. And so I go up to... Well, it depends on what end you're on, I guess. Oh, man. And so I don't... I can't
Starting point is 00:55:12 imagine using one. No. Because the idea of it is also just the idea of not knowing who's on the other side. It's rough. When it's through, like, a bathroom wall, there's just, like, metal shards. That's a criminal level of horny that I... I am horny but not that horny
Starting point is 00:55:27 but this guy Tony Spear yeah he man again it's not funny alright Tony Spear he tricked two men into believing they were
Starting point is 00:55:43 talking to a woman online, invited them over to his Toronto home to have anonymous sex through a hole in a sheet, hanging in a doorway. And then when the second man finally didn't understand what was going on, he pulled the sheet down to find Spear with the big long wig on, cowering on the ground, and he was arrested. Now, these guys are really upset that this guy made them gay. Now, he pretended to be a lady.
Starting point is 00:56:08 Right? Which happened. So you go over... No victim blaming him. They were lied to. They were lied to. And it's unfair. But...
Starting point is 00:56:17 Do you think his response was, She... She... So they go, right, they, it's just the way all of this goes. So you go to some
Starting point is 00:56:28 random woman's house. You think it's a random woman's house. Mm-hmm. You're obviously, you're hard up, desperate for sex. Something's going on. You've decided
Starting point is 00:56:38 this is where I'm at now. Mm-hmm. You go into this apartment. It is, there's a sheet with a hole in it hanging from the doorway. Yeah. You hear from behind that sheet. Just make
Starting point is 00:56:50 yourself comfortable. Well, they said that he didn't talk. He had to have said something. Yeah. Sit down now. Okay. Hee hee hee hee. Oh, I better go. I gotta go watch Kamala Harris speech.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Because I need to go support a woman. Being a woman myself. Right? So you see the sheets kind of rustling. You're like, all right. And so he said the issue was that they went up to the hole. He was just like, He's just doing that.
Starting point is 00:57:21 He's got a stick there. He's sticking a loaf. He's sticking a loaf between the hole now. Right? And he's just like, all right, you sexy woman. Puts his erect penis through the thing. He said, originally, it starts with oral sex. And you're like, I still feel like you might,
Starting point is 00:57:36 it is still pretty difficult to tell, but you might could tell the difference between a man and a woman, but I don't know. Or the facial structure of somebody. I don't know. There's a mustache, maybe. Maybe. Stubble. Yeah. But I don't know. The facial structure of somebody. I don't know. There's a mustache maybe. Maybe. Stubble.
Starting point is 00:57:47 Yeah. Some ladies got stubble. But then. He went straight to the butt. Yeah. So they said they're going. And which is also. I've never heard of an entrance.
Starting point is 00:57:57 Like. Have you ever. You know. Ever done it in the butt. Yeah. Now you know how like. Not mine. But theirs.
Starting point is 00:58:05 Yes. Yes. No. Hemorrhoids. You know that. Like, it takes a finagling. Yeah. That's the word I use. And...
Starting point is 00:58:17 Or spit. That's Hebrew for finagling. It did also have... Through a sheet. I got rabid. No, this... for finagling and also having this through a sheet um no this uh so it takes a second you gotta work at it but this is all full of luby so it just seems like this guy right so they're like they're he's just getting a blow and all of a sudden he's just like hold on now it's time for the peace to release its sounds. He then put his butthole, like he did butt sex to the men, right? The men just had their penis through the hole
Starting point is 00:58:52 and he just went like, like he just got the hole, like he saw the penis jumping up and down and he managed to just catch the tip with the edge of his rims, I guess. And then he just went like, like power bottom his way in. Butt sucked it up. He butt sucked it up. And then he just went like, like power bottom his way in. Butt sucked it up.
Starting point is 00:59:05 He butt sucked it up. And it's just kind of wild to me thinking that you could do that without the full help of the guy behind you, right? I don't know. Like, is that how, I'm not thinking about it, it's like, man, this guy had a crazy gaping hole.
Starting point is 00:59:18 Right, which is also like, good for him. Yeah. In terms of like his popularity, being around with his friends and stuff. I'm sure there's a lot of lube involved. There must have been. Right? Yeah. It sounds like it just happened.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Do you think just like the guy sitting there with the glory hole and then lube just went underneath the sheet? I don't. I actually don't know. How many people did he do this to that are too embarrassed to not even, like,
Starting point is 00:59:47 honestly, like the report described. Cause the thing is, is that like, so the first guy just took it and he left and he said that he, so he got, oh, he got 28 months in prison.
Starting point is 00:59:56 And later on, the first guy was just like, well, that's what I think is that it wasn't exactly how I pictured it. They said they were going to come over cause he set it up. He he was like we're coming over my house for a glory hole scenario the victims walk into the home they put their penises inside a hole in the sheet hanging in a doorway oral sex was performed and then it became penetration without warning which both victims believed was anal now the first time um mocha Sphere's testimony that the men were in fact, we were in fact communicating with a woman named Angela.
Starting point is 01:00:29 Okay. Who had said he had access to his home. Right? But they have just concluded that's fake. Yeah. That he was not talking to Angela. Because then he's just like, these men just arrived in my home and wanted this from me. Essentially.
Starting point is 01:00:42 Like, they just, I guess I. But you put the sheet up. I always ring a bell for anal. Yeah. Like, if we're going to do it, like, ding-a-ding-a-ding-a-ding, so the whole neighborhood knows. You're ready for anal.
Starting point is 01:00:53 Yeah. Bling-a-bling-a-bling. Maybe he did that. And then he missed... That was a miscommunication. Where did they... I don't understand how they put the sheet... What was the sheet up on?
Starting point is 01:01:05 It's in the doorway. Oh, it's just in the doorway. So it was like open door fucking. It was just in a doorway. You had to come in the house and then in a doorway leading to one of the back rooms was a sheet with a hole cut in it that he had. I'm going to say maybe... Why are there all these pictures of
Starting point is 01:01:22 just a single man? Just a guy alone in front of mount rushmore alone in front of like the washington monument are you married never i don't believe in the institution of marriage and then uh yes and then i guess that's what's hard i'm not saying anything but can you imagine then you're getting you're fucking some guy's fucking your dick from like with his own butt right and the imagine that you're getting, you're fucking, some guy's fucking your dick from behind, like with his own butt, right? And the whole time
Starting point is 01:01:47 you're just like, there is just something different about this. Like, you're just sitting there like being like, this shit fucks like a man. This guy.
Starting point is 01:01:58 There is just something. And then you just, and then you pull down the shit, and then he still wore a wig, which is hilarious in that way. Or he's gonna be no i didn't brush my hair i mean like what do you think the wig is going to distract from the fact that you're a naked man that he was making love to from behind yeah but you'd see like balls would be hitting the sheet you would think i mean depends on how big your
Starting point is 01:02:20 balls are. Interesting. Well, Sphere had no prior criminal record. He volunteers with his church, and he provides financial support to his parents in Lebanon. He came to Canada over a decade ago to become a pilot. And yeah, he's not that. He says that his attorney blames it on the effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. He said that it was difficult.
Starting point is 01:02:57 He said the way he put it was many people during the pandemic had difficulty making personal connections and were creative. And now they dealt with it. Mr. Schwer is here because he committed criminal offenses that negated the ability of the victims to choose how and who they engaged with. So that's why, again, it is not these men's fault that they made love to this other man in the sheet. You know, I know that they're upset. No. They got lied to. But I am just going to say this, guys.
Starting point is 01:03:20 You know, if you're doing a glory hole scenario, I don't care what it is. Just peek through the hole. Yeah. Just give one look. All right? And, like, because then you're here. And then you can take the power back. Yeah. care what it is i just peeked through the hole yeah just give one look all right and like because then you're here and then you can make take the power back yeah or at least tell them to like put some mail through the holes i just don't need because it's like so you can see who it's addressed to allow them to make the decision because they're already at the quote-unquote glory hole situation
Starting point is 01:03:40 yeah and if they're there already you probably talk them into it i think that it is not that far of a bridge i'm surprised that these they actually came forward and said this happened i think that they were they were just their brains were destroyed yeah i think it was a lot for them i think that they realized a lot of stuff at once you know what i mean they're like how do i get myself into a glory hole like situation it must must have been the COVID-19 pandemic. Yeah. And that's what you can say. Because that helps you, your own brain.
Starting point is 01:04:10 It is Craigslist, not Angela's list. Always. There's Jane's list. Oh, is there? But sells stuff. Oh. It actually sells things. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:04:19 And a man's list that it's all about getting your dick sucked. Throw a hole in his sheet. And if you see the hole in the sheet, like like because even that's not really a glory hole situation even this being like this is what we're this is how we're doing this you'd need a sturdy structure yeah that's kind of flapping around yeah sheet doesn't seem right i knew it but i think it was hastily thought out yeah i think at some point i think that t Tony's fear was like, oh my god, these guys are showing up. Yeah. You didn't expect anyone to actually show up. No. Maybe not. Yeah. But then he was like, quick thinking. How do I make a glory hole? Aha! I got this Jewish
Starting point is 01:04:55 marriage sheet. Aha! Eureka! I was playing a ghost for Halloween. Now I'm fucking a guy through a sheet. Some people ask me, how did i get here uh yeah so that's a horrible story and uh yeah i think it's great do you think it's great well i think that it's that's good that we all know what not to do now yeah just straight up i just suck dick yeah out in the open i knew a guy who went to a craigslist glory hole it was like a guy's house uh and he said there was just like a piece of plywood up like right inside the door like there was enough room to like stand up get in the house and then close the door behind you then there was
Starting point is 01:05:35 like plywood there and then see that's good and he got his dick sucked through the plywood that's great gets you in and out yeah and and you're not really thinking about it no this person let themselves open up to be discovered you know also think a bad idea to have plywood around your fucking open penis yeah i that's my thing about glory holes that just never seemed attractive to me not only because of the pure mystery and horror of it but like the just you gotta put something around the hole just the idea of just trusting leather just trusting that my penis will be okay yeah on the other side of this wall i i can't imagine how many penises you think have been ripped off in glory holes it's not even it's gotta be that's even the lightest at least
Starting point is 01:06:15 right i think it's easier for it to be ripped off than it to just be fucking mangled with a hammer yeah i think it's so much worse yeah your hard cock getting bit like Yeah. I think that's so much worse. Yeah. Your hard cock getting bit, like, bit the fuck up, that's so much worse than it getting ripped off. That is an untrackable statistic. Oh, yeah, no, it is hard because a lot of these guys,
Starting point is 01:06:32 they aren't filling out. No. When they go to jail, because, like, do you get those? Like, after you get out of jail, do you get, like, a rate your jail experience email?
Starting point is 01:06:41 Like, you know, put five stars, you can't put your comment in? Tallahassee did not care. Interesting. Yeah, I feel like, yeah can't put your comment in? Tallahassee did not care. Interesting. I feel like, yeah, yeah. Do penises get cut off at glory holes? Thank you, Rob. Has everyone had experience their penis getting cut off
Starting point is 01:06:53 at a glory hole? Or, like, fucking... Hmm. Yeah, no one's saying it. Of course not. If you got your penis cut off at a glory hole, I wouldn't be on the internet. I'd be at a monastery. Yeah. Yeah, I would be on one of those nine-month cruises.
Starting point is 01:07:10 That's where I'd die on one. Remember that from Candyman? Can't fix that. Better off dead. Yep. God. See, that's a glory hole. Yeah. It's nice because you've got duct tape all around it. They brought a picture of a glory hole. We've got duct tape around it. That's a bigger hole than I was expecting. That's what it should be. Because then you can see a little bit of the Show has a picture of a glory hole. We've got duct tape around it. It's kind of a soft area. It's bigger than I was expecting.
Starting point is 01:07:26 That's what it should be. Because then you can see a little bit of the hand and a little bit of the face. I don't know why I figured it was like as thick as a penis. I think some of them are. I think some of them are.
Starting point is 01:07:34 I don't think that hole in the sheet was very big. No. I love the Wikipedia page for this. Motivations. History. It's true.
Starting point is 01:07:43 Sanskrit. People are getting dug. People are getting their fucking, like, you ever seen those like the old old like like painted pictures on vases of guys getting their assholes eaten and shit like that 1707 the first glory hole wow yeah that's the first one wow by the trials of thomas vaughn and th Davis. Pre-America. Extortion of a man in the documents known only as Mr. Gulliam at the time gay sex in public places could lead to arrests. Yes, I do know that. The courts heard that a man had visited a lavatory stall.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Any sex in a public place is illegal. When another man put his penis through a hole in the wall, a boy adjoining Volt put his privy member through a hole and Mr. Gulliam, surprised by the action, a boy adjoining Volt put his privy member through a hole, and Mr. Gilliam, surprised by the action, fled the lavatory, only to be followed by the man who cried out that he would have had sex with him. Mr. Gilliam
Starting point is 01:08:34 was then confronted by Mr. Vaughn, who, knowing Mr. Gilliam's innocence, threatened to turn him into the police and reveal him to his wife if he did not pay a sum of money. Now that is a fucking, that's intense. That's the first glory moment. That's really crazy. The idea of using it as a side story. The first side story.
Starting point is 01:08:50 The idea of being blackmailed by Gloria is very, it's always been there. Why true crime now? It's been like that since the very beginning. All right, let's get some listener emails. All right. all right let's uh let's get some listener emails all right we actually got a lot of stuff on fugue states i'm very interested in this it's really fucked up but you know when i i won't a lot of them are samey so i'm not gonna go read through a bunch of them but the one thing i have learned is don't take ambient uh a lot of this shit happens on Ambien. Roseanne. Free Roseanne.
Starting point is 01:09:29 Well, let's not go that far. The Ambien shit is just very frightening. They're all talking about several calls. I know that Ambien helps a lot of people. Those of you who don't know, Ambien is a sleeping medication. Very powerful.
Starting point is 01:09:46 And these guys, like, several emails, waking up mid-driving. I took it one time. I absolutely hated it. I don't like sleeping meds at all. I can't do it. I tried Trazodone. I hated it. I just trip balls. I let it just come over me, and now I'm just, like,
Starting point is 01:10:02 kind of semi-hallucinating, and I'm not doing anything. Yeah. So, I mostly just try to white knuckle myself to sleep or good old fashion the doctor prescribed to me three bottles of wine and he said that knocks you right out and it's really been uh it's been incredible uh i want to say thank you so much uh but yes the fugue states it happens and people talking about people being in, waking up mid-driving, mid-eating, mid-having sex with their spouse,
Starting point is 01:10:30 mid-doing these things, no idea that they were doing it. Super making videos themselves, like of them rambling on their phone and weird shit. And I know that it's not common, but I'm not fucking with it. That's for certain. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:41 And also, apparently, you know, you can lose i got into someone sent an email like this is a fucked up story i'll read this email about how quickly you die when vomiting blood okay remember we covered the story about the guy who just got on the plane yeah you just burst yeah all right in minnesota we have a large Somali refugee population, so it'll become relevant in a moment. My job in this hospital was to monitor ER doctors for a research study that the hospital was doing regarding intubation of patients admitted for emergency.
Starting point is 01:11:15 I worked Friday and Saturday nights, and there was never a dull moment. So an hour into my shift, a middle-aged Somali guy gets wheeled in on a stretcher, moaning and complaining of severe stomach pains. Now, in the Somali community, goat is a very common and popular dish.
Starting point is 01:11:30 Also delicious. Love goat. I love goat. I had it last week. I love it. Right before I went to the Marley movie, I had some Jamaican food.
Starting point is 01:11:35 I got goat. That's incredible. Apparently, this man had been eating some goat about a week and a half to two weeks earlier when he swallowed a particular bite
Starting point is 01:11:42 and he said he had a hard time going down. After a few days, he was experiencing abdominal pain. So he was seen at a different clinic in St. Paul. They could find nothing wrong. So they sent him home. Cut to a week later, and he's getting brought into us in a critical condition. After some tests and scans, the doctors could see that there was a larger amount of liquid in his stomach and something of a blockage in his esophagus. He was sedated, and the attending ER doc went down
Starting point is 01:12:08 with a pair of forceps to remove the blockage. What he came up with was about a strawberry-sized blood clot. Almost immediately after, what I can only describe as a volcano of blood came geysering out of his mouth. There was enough force behind this spasm that the column of blood stood several inches above his face as it issued out. Now, I have no idea as to the exact
Starting point is 01:12:29 volume, but I'd say it was at least two or three liters. Remember, it's five liters of blood. In a body. Typically, it takes about 15% of your blood's total volume being lost before you enter into hypovolemic shock, which he rapidly did. Rule of thumb is up to 50% volume loss
Starting point is 01:12:46 is certain death. I will say he was close to that. He also went to cardiac rest seconds later. As soon as he coded out, he defecated. Doctors administered sodium bicarbonate and intubated him in an attempt to regain a pulse. CPR was performed.
Starting point is 01:13:01 They got a shallow heartbeat. An endocrinologist came in. They put a camera down his esophagus. We were watching the monitor. We could see that his esophageal lining was torn all the way from his throat to his stomach. Apparently, this man had swallowed a bone when he was eating that goat. And it scraped all the way down. Wow.
Starting point is 01:13:19 And somehow the St. Paul Hospital didn't catch it. Goat surprisingly has tiny bones. When you also learn from Kevin, when you talk about they do eat in many ways, they do smash certain parts of the St. Paul Hospital didn't catch it. Goat surprisingly has tiny bones. When you also learn from Kevin, when you talk about they do eat it in many ways, they do smash certain parts of the body and they will sometimes have bone. And also if they're not carefully butchering it, they could sometimes have bones. Every time I eat goat, I eat it very carefully. You got to eat it carefully. I eat it very carefully.
Starting point is 01:13:37 Any stewed meat, I would say that to anybody, any stewed meat, you should just sort of like. God, that scares me so much. Just chew your food. I love goat. Just really, really chew your fucking food, which is it. But yeah, this is really bad. So apparently all that blood was just in his stomach instead of in
Starting point is 01:13:51 his veins. It all just kind of sat at the bottom of his body. Do you think it was like mixed? It was like blood mixed with bile. It was all bad. Yeah. Yeah. It probably wasn't all blood. No, some of it might have been Chipotle. Yeah. Who knows? Oh, man. So that have been Chipotle. Yeah. Who knows? Oh, man. So that was a really fucked up one.
Starting point is 01:14:09 And here's another one. That's great. This is good. I was living in Arizona at the time. Oh, this is brought to you by Postmates. Brought to you by Postmates, by the way. Thank you. Now with goat. Well, we'll see how the one does really cook at home. Oh, yeah, blue apron yeah yeah i was living in arizona at the time and i was leaving an optometrist office in the middle of
Starting point is 01:14:33 the day this is another encounter with the man in black oh okay when i stepped outside i was approached by a tall man in an olive drab jumpsuit, completely bald, with the brightest blue eyes I have ever seen, and skin that was so white it seemed to glow in the noonday sun. He was wearing no shoes, which must have been very uncomfortable since you could have fried an egg on the sidewalk. He asked me a bunch of questions
Starting point is 01:14:58 about religion and spirituality, higher consciousness, and he kept asking me what my name was, and when I kept giving him my actual legal name, he'd go, no, no, no, what's your name quote unquote this could just be arizona by the way just so you know arizona is like this he didn't take a phone out of his pocket and try to give it to me claiming he didn't need it anymore it wasn't a model i was familiar with so it could have been a pays you go phone but it had wires sticking out of some of the side ports. Another person walked out of the office and he gave
Starting point is 01:15:28 the phone to them, and they took it with barely any words exchanged, like they were caught off guard or in a haze as they walked out to their car. Eventually, someone from the optometrist's office came outside to tell me that they had something for me to sign real quick. And when I went back inside, I asked if he was a local character. They claimed they had
Starting point is 01:15:43 never seen him before, and they thought maybe I needed help exiting the conversation. The receptionist was very unsettled by his demeanor and appearance. When I went back outside, he was gone. And I haven't seen anyone or anything like him since. Now, we've gotten a lot of messages from people just being like, this person's an alien, they're super fucking weird, which I can understand.
Starting point is 01:16:03 I feel like this might just have been, if you've spent any time in Phoenix, the homeless there are a different style of homeless person. Not just that. I mean, the people there, they have snake heads as jewelry. There's a lot of
Starting point is 01:16:19 intense energy. You should not be able to shave a spider. It's an intense place. You should not be able to shave a spider. This is a, they are truly, it's an intense place. Yeah. But also, this guy came out of the optometrist's office. He's probably, his eyes were all fucked up. Dilated.
Starting point is 01:16:34 Dilated. He can't see shit. No idea what's happening. He probably looked like a normal person. He was just confused. No idea. But I wonder, like, are the phone with the cord sticking out of it's really weird? The other kind of shit. But it also could just be a crazy person. It's a crazy
Starting point is 01:16:46 person. We never know. Remember the guy who used to come on the subway and be like, I'm an alien. Yeah. He played the saxophone. He was a performer. Yeah. That's a performer. This guy could be a performer. We'll see. I don't think we will. I think this is the last we'll hear of him. I think he's dead.
Starting point is 01:17:02 I think he's coming back. So join us this week. We'll be doing Omdur's Brevik Part 2. And we will be talking... It's Brevik. It's Brevik. Thank you. I just have been corrected a lot this week, but I am open. I'm going to learn.
Starting point is 01:17:18 Yeah. We'll talk about what we all learned this week. We're going to get deep into his ideology. Won't that be fun? I'm sure it's nice and polite. So live every day. Chomping on that goat. Don't even be thinking about the bone.
Starting point is 01:17:36 Suck on the goat. But love. Make sure you suck out the bone. Love the fact that you have a tongue that can tell if there's bones in the food before you chomp on it. Or I hope you do. It's the same thing I do when I eat fish. Check it for bones. Check it for bones.
Starting point is 01:17:52 Eat it. Well, my mom used to say chew 50 times. Chew each bite 50 times. You just move your tongue around your mouth and you find the bones. But just chew more often. Chew more thoroughly. Ask more from your mouth. All right?
Starting point is 01:18:03 And then laugh at your mouth. you more thoroughly. Ask more from your mouth. Alright? And then laugh at your mouth. Nah. Much like that guy who was laughing all the way to the slitted sheet. When he thought, man, these guys are going to love my snapping
Starting point is 01:18:18 mouth. Sheet. Sheet. I feel like a dude's, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe a dude's butthole and a lady's butthole feel exactly the same. It is the same hole, but I actually don't know. I imagine one has more hair. I feel that one would be rough.
Starting point is 01:18:34 I think that I could tell one on sight, but I think that it's also an ignorant state. I can tell it on sight. Can I tell it by feel? No, but you can probably see it through the sheet. I don't think these guys... It sounds like these guys weren't looking. Yeah, not hard enough. Put your eye down there and you feel a fart.
Starting point is 01:18:52 How do you feel? If it's a squirming, put your worm in. If it's a fart, put your worm in. Oh yeah, if it's squirming, don't put your worm in. It's a fart. Put your worm in. Really having fun. Thank you guys for listening to Side Stories.
Starting point is 01:19:06 We will see you on Friday and next week. And for the rest of your natural life. God damn it. Hail Satan. Hail goat meat. Yep. I love goat meat. Check it for bones though.
Starting point is 01:19:18 Check it for bones. It's the devil's meat. Yeah, forget it. Stay sad.

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