Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Dirt-O-Lantern

Episode Date: October 18, 2023

Henry & Marcus bring you this week's spookiest stories and true crime news including a first-hand account of the ghost of Mr. Boots in the Edinburgh Vaults, the new Colorado Sasquatch footage making waves on the web, the Oklahoma judge caught sending over 500 texts, mocking prosecutor, and making jokes during murder trial, The Wild Saga of Kaitlin Marie Armstrong, a pair of Heroes, spooky listener stories, and MORE!

Hey there dudes and do-dets, time to wax up your boards and go catch the big wave over at the LPN beach. Like it. Bingo! One night only at the Balboa Theater in San Diego October 20th, come and check out all of the cool cats and the crazy dog. And LPN, every show, the entire network, each one, pulsating and grinding in front of you for your entertainment pleasure.

We're all gonna catch the big guna. And I'm talking about that big greasy guy. I'm talking about a wave. G-E-W-C-W-E-W-E-W-E-W-E-W. Just so you know, it's gonna be inside of a way. It's Siri! It's Siri! Just so you know, it's gonna be inside of a theater. So when physical whetness you experience is your own personal body heat or the sweat of one of the performers.

For live stream tickets, go to beeps.com slash LPL to watch from the comfort of your own home. Again, that's veeps.com slash LPL. Kakao! Come and check it out. I'm certain if there's a podcast flavor you need on your tongue, we got the spoon for it. Beachfunk at Bingo, baby.

Come on, girls, let's bet! Woo! There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop. On the left. Side stories. I love your glades. That's one of the cannibalism started.

Side stories. Side stories. Yeah. Come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come, come here, come, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come here, come, come here, come, come, come here, come here, come here, come, come, come here, come, come, come here, come, come, come, come here, good, good. I hope that goes out to boy George. He puts the boy in a boy's Georgia's name. Um, guys, first of all, I want to say, number one, you guys have been, you know, been on this adventure with us for the last 12 years. A side story is going what?

How long? For five, six years? I don't know. Um, I only started paying attention to it like a month and a half of it. You had to. Uh, but the divisiveness of holding over all of these years still holds. I have never received so many emails. The schizophrenic nature of people literally first of them being like, hold this incredible.

I finally, hold it. You know what I mean? You know, obviously you misspelled. You can smell the fucking dirt breath coming off of it. So good to hear you guys together. Like I missed him so much. He was the best part of everything this network has ever done.

Nobody in the world is funnier than holding MacNeely. But then the other side of the hate that comes with it is just so precious. I'm just glad we can still do it. Yeah, I'm really happy we could do it, too. I mean, it would just ran the gamut like, why do you even keep him around like your room? I don't know.

I don't know, you know, he is just that. You just wind him up. We've just said a time and time again that like if he wasn't funny, someone would have murdered him 20 years ago. And he's barely funny, you know, but it's nice. I'm finally getting into the spooky season. As are we all.

I'm fine. It feels good. I finally watched the exorcist. I forgot how good that movie is also. I forgot even talking about it's like we need to do a run up on the murderer on the exorcist set. Yeah. There's like a whole thing.

I forgot. I've been fucked up that scene is. I've been pushing for this for years. We got to do something. Do you remember his name? I don't remember his name, but there was a guy in one of the scenes in which Reagan is getting a spinal time, which is still arguably one of the most horrifying scenes in that film. It's absolutely whole.

Paul Batison. Paul Batison, but yeah, Paul Bateson. Yeah, he was, he was the orderly. Yeah. And you kind of see he has like two lines in it. And God knows why he started killing. Yeah. I think he had like three or four. I think he was one of those guys that was suspected of being a serial killer, but they never actually proved that he was one of those things where he like it was like, we know he did it, but we can't prove that he did it. Yes. It seems like it's something something there's a lot of talk about, you know,

with Kank gone wrong, but as we were seeing with Andrew Kunanan, they often run with that when they don't need to. So we'll do a big run out on this. Welcome to side source. Welcome to side source. My name is Marcus Farx and with me is in Rizapowski. I didn't know if you wanted to say your own name or no. I don't know. I actually don't know. Yeah, we're still, yeah, we're getting into the, I'm helping. I'm Marcus Marks, your Henry's a bros. I'm Henry's a bros, oh god no.

Let's get into some updates. Dude, I will say also, it's important to check out Pumpkinhead during this time of year. Of course. Pumpkinhead and I still have my pitch for Pumpkinhead 3 that no one will hear. And I think it's really cool. What we do is you have a guy, like a cop,

like who's racist cop, kill somebody on like, like warrantlessly. He does something like really like something fucked up, right? And then the family goes and gets Pumpkinhead. And then it's Pumpkinhead versus the fucking police. That would be fucking sweet. They're all trying to get in there and then you're like, good cops trying to stop pumpkin head.

You know, the rest of them been like, but also the same time been like, and then there's my favorite characters and all horror where people are sitting inside and like, best he sit down. And then I'll business now. And they know business. He's mocked.

Mark David is mocked. All right, we cannot get him ball. It's a legend of pumpkin head And it's real like I love that shit and then little tiny Lance Henrickson You was never a boy. No, I don't know how they they they cast the boys Lance Henrickson Henrickson as far as I'm concerned that the boyhood version of Lance Henrickson still had the scars and still been like They called him on Nobody can call him off, but I'm gonna send him back day over. He belongs and you're like, you know like you're nine

Yeah, you're nine. Is Danny Glover still alive? He better be cuz I'm not I'm walking away from my I can't do it today I'd like him to be in this and pumpkin head three. I'd like him to be one of the good cops Yeah, he's 77 years fun man, so I can still get there. Yeah, he can still be there. He could still be, he could be chief of police. Finally, yes. That would be awesome. Finally. Yeah, I'm get to all for this pumpkin shit, which is great. Again, great line. Speaking of pumpkins, I have bought a pumpkin this year. Oh, good, but I have not carved it yet. What I did do though, because you know, I've been working in my garden. Yeah, sure, no, I know working.

I've been working a lot of fun in my garden. So what I did, I had a lot of extra dirt left over after I planted all my plants. And so what I did is I made a dirt a lantern in my garden. That's fucking weird. No. So it's just a big lump of dirt.

It's a big, it is a pile. It is a mound of dirt. And I got a couple of sticks that I dug out of the ground, because there were some weird roots down there. I don't know what they're from. You're killing your trees. Now, I got us palm trees out there. But what I did is I used those two sticks

and made horns. I used rocks for eyes, and a little nose. I found a little triangle, rock for a nose, and put that in. And then I used palm tree seeds as the mouth as the big smile. It's gonna be the house where like, you know, the parents always like usher the kids past. You're like, no, no, no, don't.

They don't know what Halloween is. Whatever they think Halloween is is not good. No, it looks very pagan. I mean, that's great. Honestly, I mean, I think I'm just jealous because I'm really am trying to find a way because we finally got our 12 foot skeleton. Sure.

You know, but I want us to be the scary house on the block. I would love for people to whisper as they go past being like, act where the fat guy lives. I mean like, whoa, cool. I mean, he did some magic spell to get that hot ass. What? No, the only person who see my dirt a lantern is my mailman, whose name is Fred and we're friends.

You should bring him a mouse? No, because he's always, I'm always working on my garden. So he comes in comes out. Hey Fred, Hey Marcus. That's really sweet. It's really nice. See, look at you. You're becoming fucking like a suburban night.

Dude, I got a house. So I'm doing my shit. That's what I'm all think. But yeah, I'll take a picture of the Dirtle Lantern and we'll send it out on the news later. Yeah, there would be a great people with love it. All right, updates as you were trying to get into one of the most important debates in this history of the show.

Obviously, we've had a lot of controversies here. We had the Dan Alliance daffodils like debacle, literally like set the whole fucking subgroup or all in a, a fiery rage, you know, otter's papers. This was a question that came up last week that I, I really appreciate the true diversity of the answers. So, you basically ask a question, dick taste. Yeah. If you're sucking a bunch of different dicks, how different does each dick taste as in, you know, when you have kind of lingo, when you do, when you're eating pussy, like you obviously, they are very, each one is very distinct. And it's about the owner. Very much so.

Yeah, it's about the owner, it's about, you know, diet. There's a lot of factors that go into it. Absolutely, no. But there's also, you know, just a natural scent. And also there's kind of a vague baseline. Mm-hmm. But most of the time it's all jazz. And I've never gotten the people that say that, you know,

the whole fish thing, the whole fishy thing, never in my life have I run across a fishy. Yeah, only your like uncle Greg says shit like that. You know what I mean? Like only the dirtiest man at the 7-Eleven talks, like, she's got a tune again. You know what I mean? Like most of the time people are pretty fair to vagina.

Because we're created by them. Yeah, it's always the guy who says, ain't nothing better in the world. Shit, maybe pussy. Yeah, it's always the guy who says ain't nothing better in the world. Maybe pussy. Yeah. I just need you to send this next day. But I truly can't believe how the numbers break down. I want to thank Joel who went through this. He broke down all the stats. It is pretty much down the line. Hygiene aside, dick tastes the same. We got 46 answers because of hygiene,

all dicks taste different. 44. And so as many people who say that dick tastes different are people who say all dicks taste the same. And I've seen it across the board, people saying it just tastes like sweat, right? Just tastes like one person put it like,

it was like licking a forearm. You know what I mean, which is being like, I don't know what those hands are doing. But then a lot of other people just said like, no, obviously each dick is different. Each penis has a different idea. I think really when it comes down to us, come. And the fact that the come is distinctly very different. Come is always different. That does it. That always has a different flavor. The interesting response that I got, the one that really makes me wonder is that there were six people, six who all said that clean dick tastes like avocados. Hey, I, I, I just don't know if they're

even not eaten avocados wrong. Like I don't know the problems that it's because they don't have access to good avocados. Or if it's just like, maybe that's a type of synesthesia. Yeah. We just don't understand kisses taste like watermelon. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe to them fucking avocado tastes like it. Which is now. Fuck. But we also got I love avocado. I crave avocado, but we also got a text from one of our longtime friends, John Flynn, who was very, very vocal that all dicks taste different. You know, because I still think all dicks taste different. And mostly I did it's got to do with foreskin and how you take care of it. And I think that's a big fucking deal. Because also one person specifically said uncircumcised dick tastes like pancakes, which is again, I don't know where restaurant you're at. It must be in Glasgow. And there's also one person who said,

and this I can absolutely believe dick and ball smell like pencil shavings. That's again, that's something else. That's something else. You're getting an English teacher. But I believe that though, that makes a lot of sense to me. Well, I've also, you know, they say that like white people smell like dog, like wet dog. I believe that though, that makes a lot of sense to me. Well, also, you know what they say, like, white people smell like dog, like wet dog. I believe that the whole thing that white people smell like hot dogs, I know exactly what they're talking about because I have smelled white people who smell exactly like hot dog. Oh, yeah, my cousins. Oh, yeah, we have hot dog people in my family.

So that's, honestly, it's really nice. I guess it's more. I guess it's more. I guess multiple women, for some reason, tasted like peas. What? Yeah. It was like, how do you even know some reason tasted like peas. What? Yeah, it was like. How do you even know that they tasted like peas? Because I was kissing them and they tasted, I know what peas taste like.

I mean, like the vegetable peas. Yeah, I know what you're saying, but I've never had a so distinctive a pea. It was dish. Yeah. That I would say like, that's peas. Now that's peas. Like I don't understand. No, but I know peas and it was a very odd thing.

Yeah, three times I've kissed girls, and they tasted like peas. Just get hotter and hotter. I don't know. Eat in the peas. I don't know if I could pick a pea taste out of a lineup. No, I don't like peas, peas, but you know me. But you're like British shit.

You know, but I like. It's all peas. Not all peas. I like peas in my pies. If you put peas in your pie, then you don't, then you do like peas. Well, I like peas in my pies. If you put peas in your pie, like then you don't, then you do like peace. Well, I like peas in my pie. I don't like peas on the wrong. This is again, this is just deeper into this thing.

It makes it, it's the way it's as qualifications. It's the stuff that goes inside of his head where he's just like, in this state, these peas are fine. Peas loose garbage. Meanwhile, you just had the peas and you're actually appreciating the element that a peas game to the m melange inside of the pie. And so you do like peas.

You just don't like, I like man, we're like, I like peas as an ingredient. I'm drinking red. I'm drinking melange. Yeah, I know. That's good. We already missed the flu. It's already passed. You sit there and eat spoonfuls of cumin?

No. Yeah, but I'm trying to have a not as fragrant existence. All right, so let me get one more update. We have another update here. This is again, this is fucking awesome. The reason why I want to read this up top, because you know, again, we're trying to keep it a little bit spooky at the very, very top. This is why we talk about Dixon P's. You always say it and you always fail. I always fucking up. I always fucking up.

I've never been able to spook anyone. You know what it is? Is that it's so hard to be, who do we know truly? Probably them personally the most spooky person I know. David Dussmark is. Yeah, easily. He is easily, but he is truly a very spooky man, just in general, but he's lovely.

Lovely. That was the, I, but he's lovely. Lovely. That was the adjective I was going to use as well. Lovely man. But spooky itself. He is definitely spooky. Yeah. And so I think it requires, I think spooky and sexy are kind of close. And you kind of have to have, it's like a sincerity mixed within a, because it's a mystery.

Is it sort of like how comedy and horror are very close? Well, I'd say comedy and horror are close because they both give involuntary physical reactions, right? But like spooky and sexy, I think it's about having a thing. You're just thinking, I think you're thinking about vampires. David Usmalkin, right? But so we try to keep it spooky, is to tell this little story that we got sent,

because the reason why honestly is that because it kind of sends a little bit of a chevro on my own spine because we went on this same exact tour in Edinburgh and heard this same exact story from a tour guide. So it is really interesting to see it be confirmed because you know, you never know. I've taken countless ghost tours and they're all like they say they got pattern and bits. You never really know what is like real or what's not real like what is what's what are you selling me something, you know? Yeah, we went on a horrible ghost for an Edinburgh once where just well, she just didn't know what she was like, I know I'm normally here for the Highlander tour and we're like, well, go back to it.

You go fuck it back to it because we know what's going on. Our outlander. It was their erotic highlander. The one that makes my mother wet. Yeah, outlander. And we're at this woman's trying to tell if I could story about Berk and Heron. There we are with our friend Neil, who is an expert on Berk and Heron.

And we also just did the episode. We did a series on Berk and Heron. We're correct in the woman. They, she loved us. Loved us, whisperin' at the back. All right, here we go. Here's a story about Mr. Boots of the Edinburgh Volts. This tour was fantastic.

Yes, this is a great tour. Dirty my trip to Scotland with my wife this May. Where are you doing in Scottish accent? I'm just taking a trip. I am. He took a trip to Scotland. You never know what is nationality is. Well, if you're taking a trip to Scotland,

he's not probably not Scottish. You never know. All right, you might be a self-hate in Scott, right? We decided to take a haunted tour through the Edinburgh vaults. Our tour guide was the only person with a flashlight, which is again, that's, that is how they do it. It's fucking freaky. It's very freaky.

No, right at the beginning, I'm claustrophobic and I put my hand on Henry and I whispered, I think I'm going to tie down here. But I was like, yeah, I need to forget. She asked the group to not use flash photography or to have their phones out. So she would be the only person with a light source. And it's dark in the vaults. And having no lights gives you a good idea of how horrible it would have been to live there.

A little bit of history, apparently during a time period when they were trying to make poor people illegal during the time when Edinburgh was just like quarter mile around They they joke about the scots with the first one to build skyscrapers because they would live in these giant wooden platforms So it often fall set on fire So one thing they decided to do is they had these giant bridges that go through the city It would like go connect to the city and they said to wall it off and put people that are poor We were like, I connect to the city and they said to wall it off and put people that were poor underneath the ground. And these giant, these bolts that were like six and a half feet by like seven feet tall.

Like I mean it like truly claustrophobic. And they would jam 150 people at a time into these chambers where they would essentially, you know, they'd be burning fires that were made by animal fats and shitting in buckets. And it was an absolute nightmare to behold. And just people died and died and died and died. Very free he place. Right. So we were herded to the back of a very dark second vault. And the guy told us about Mr. Boots or the watcher, which is, I mean, we got the same story. It's a fairly well-known malevolent spirit that dwells within, known for making people pass out. Our tour guide told us that she wasn't a fan

of this particular spirit, but Mr. Boots was a fan of hers and commonly showed up for her tours. We probably had the same tour guide. Yeah. As she was going through her stories of his appearances and misconducts to her her tours, I was looking around trying to see

whatever my eyes could in the dark. I noticed a small white light towards the entrance of the vault. It was about six feet off the ground, but I couldn't make out the source. Or that maybe they had some emergency lights somewhere in that area, and it was just originating from that.

And when I asked our guide, as we entered into the next room, she confirmed that there was nothing technological to cause that light. And noted I might have seen something paranormal. The next room was where the entity apparently dwells. The guide separated all the couples so everyone was standing alone before she turned off her flashlight, leaving us all completely in the dark. This is when my wife started to freak out, like you, started to leave the tour. I stayed behind, but I didn't have any sense of paranormal goings on.

You know, the guy finished up her stories of the entity before, hey, leading the rest of us back up to the surface, Benbro. I asked her if Mr. Boots had been with us tonight, and she confirmed his presence, hiding her distress over it. We didn't pry too much. Just tipton, we made our way back to the hotel. Now for the weirdness. And this is the part I haven't shared with my wife.

And so he's saying right here, so if you end up reading this on the show, it'll probably be the first time she's hearing. Great. After a few hours of sleep, I love blowing up married secrets. Look, it get to the center of a man, can it hold? After a few hours of sleep, I woke up.

Bluri had strangely enough, feeling a sense of oppression. I remember looking to the other side of the bed and seeing a shadow figure standing over us. And the moment I was freaked out, but being well accustomed to experiencing sleep paralysis, I told myself it was just a bit of that. So I did what I always do,

told my brain to stop fucking with me and to manage to turn over and fall back asleep. I haven't mentioned it to my wife because she was already feeling sick with a head cold and ghosts freak around. I haven't experienced anything else like that since then. So at least I guess it didn't follow us home. You know, it's funny is that I've been told by a lot of people who are sensitive. They're like, man, there's so many ghosts following you around. I mean, your family is part of the American blood trust. Right?

Your family was a part of a lot of like really intense frontier people. Yeah, frontier people. There was some criminality. There was other things like inside of your family. So I could definitely see that. God, there's a gun in the family that's been passed down that has like notches on the hill.

You're toasty. For how many people people the guns killed three by the way yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah there's plenty of blood in my family but no they say it's not people that they say that it's people that I pick up along the way that they say that a ghost or a spirit honestly get them to subscribe I will but these but these are they say that they're just spirits that, you know, follow me around for a while, uh, and then we'll go away and then until they find someone else to follow or something else to follow, I got nothing. I mean, I don't feel anything. I don't feel any sort of spirit following me and I, I prefer I like being alone. This is great.

This is great. And I really love being right next to you, uh, because I've done a whole cleanse. I'm in a full magical Renaissance. Yeah. Which I did a full, I've had some spooky things. I'm in a full magical Renaissance. Yeah, which I did a full I've had some spooky things happening in my own house recently that I just don't like I'm gonna get too deep into it But I did a thing I did a thing and I mean it I haven't felt like that in a long time where pot and pans fell off my literally no reason to just fucking slid off my kitchen counter.

Dogs go in nuts. Why are you doing this? Yes, things go, things opening and closing literally felt a wind rip through my house. Like watch like papers fly off a thing. It was, it's been a lot. So I'm ready for it. I'm here for it. I'm ready to be spooked as a hell.

Halloween. So come on. Let's see some goddamn ghosts. I'm cool with being passive for it. I'm ready to be spooked. Is all hell Halloween. So come on. Let's see some goddamn ghosts I'm cool with being passive about it. You know if the spirits are there if they're following me around Fucking take a look When you lane it to Carolina you're like yeah, want your plow Do you ever do that? You ever think that ghost that are watching you while you're plowing your wife? Why would I thank them? Because they're there. Honestly, I always love the fan. Good, thank you for appreciating.

Thank you for appreciating. Yeah. You like to subscribe. No, I'm there for that. I'm glad that there for that. It's just the alone moments, certain alone moments that I actually do think sometimes when I'm having my... Times? Solo. Past your bait. You started when you're jerking off? Yeah, I don't know when I'm having my time solo pass your bait. You started when you're jerking off? Yeah, when I'm jerking off and you know,

you ever make love to yourself? No, not to treat myself like a dirty whore. I'm literally just like, you're my name's on the dresser. No, I know, it's very mechanical when I jerk off. No, sometimes I like to make it nice. You know, not necessarily like set them, yeah, kind of set them a little bit.

You make it nice because you're with yourself and you know you're wanting to have a little bit of self love A little bit of self love you treat yourself with with the sort of you treat yourself how you want to be treated This is incredible. You're gardening. You're doing 45-minute masturbating section You're really turning into an H Like this is incredible like is it I love this. Oh, I've been doing that. I've been treating myself for it You wait for a vaunt for a lever forever. Maybe I should I just don't really you should try it. I'm not that into me Yeah, you know like just in terms of being like You know the good part of me is I get access to the natal well

It just well of course you still have your wife you still make love Yeah, of course that's where I put the time in but then sub, but that's the thing you can do both, brother. You know, I guess what it is, I do both. It's just so, just like, you know what it is? Is that after you make sweep, you fall of your wife, you go, you go right back to have it a nice fun life and you can talk about stuff. It's like, when I'm alone, I'm jerking off those moments

after I fucking a calculator, just like, I have a comb. And that like, I have a calm. And that's why you need to take it a little more pleasantly. Yes! This is like as I call it. Oh, oh, oh, like full throat. Do you full make full calm noise? Do you make full calm noise?

Sometimes, actually, yeah. If I'm, yeah, especially now that I live in a house, like all bets are off when it comes to noises. It's fantastic. Sure. And honestly, obviously, I've done this bit before. But when I've seen my eyes in the reflection of the computer, I just want to, like, hand report to the serial killer. Like, it's just a Stanley Kubrick looking down the pipe, just like looking at myself. What have I done here? No, now you put on some nice like dorsal club,

you know, where people are having fun. Some French. Hey, you put on something French. Oh, I'm down. I mean, you know, maybe I'll try it this weekend. Try it this weekend if you're, and that's the thing, because this is an out of town thing.

Oh, yeah, this, I'm gonna be in a hotel by myself. Yeah. Well, in a hotel, you can't really do it. In a hotel, it's hard to do because, you know. That's when, that's when all bets are off. Yeah. That's when my penis is trying to get away from me. Dura and the fuck, and when I'm in an hotel, you can't really do it. In a hotel, it's hard to do because, you know. That's when all the bets are off. Yeah. That's when my penis is trying to get away from me. Dura and the fuck, when I'm in an hotel.

No, no, you get to do it when your wife's out of town or when she's like having like girl's phone. You know what is hard is that the others are the dogs. Well, you just leave it. You don't, you do your girlfriend friend of your dog. No, I can't. I hate it. I just look at you see four pairs of lilies.

Just like, what you doing, Daddy? No, no, no, I'd go go to it. Daddy, why at you see four pairs of Lies just like what you do daddy. No, no, no, I go go to it. What you do with It's pumpkin head data I talking about someone who's trying to overtake from the gaze of others. Yes, there's one famous guy I guess what man it just shows you sometimes you don't know you don't know where these eyes are coming from because they come from fucking everywhere. People looking for this guy and I think we finally fucking got him. You think we, with this one, you think we got him. You think we got big foot. Big foot is spotted.

Broad daylight. This one's a good one. All right, let's take a look this. We got some camera footage of this. I want to go through, we'll show it on the, obviously we'll, to Jordan, Cleps or whatever. So this is a couple that was on a vacation in Colorado. Right. It was perfect. I witnessed this according to New York Post Shannon and steps and Parker steps into such a Colorado name. You really is. You know, they just don't all these

guys are too hot. They're all too hot. Well, they're always body boarded. Well, again, if they're in Colorado, they have their 10th anniversary. Aren't they from somewhere else? They might. Whatever. It's more of a month. They might be from Montana. You right. You might be right.

You might be right. It's also decoders name. It's a hat. It's that's in as a hat. It is. You can't steam. You're very expensive. So now they said they were enjoying a trip for the 10th wedding anniversary.

And they said here, there's a quote in New York Post, which I don't like the Strogatory term. They observed the legendary Lumix. Well, it's the New York Post. They don't take any of this seriously at all. Whatever. There's a whole industry around this. Right. And so they, they was, it was the narrow, they said it was a sightseeing tour on the narrow gauge rail line between Durango and Silverton and the Centennial States far southwest. So you basically, man, you went on your van aversory and you went on a train tour. You'd never been on these train rides. They're what fantastic. I mean, we used to go to New Mexico all the time when I was a kid. Is it fun? It was so much fun. But I'm down. Honestly, I did not know. I was just mostly just

being like, you just went to go look at a train. No, you ride on the train, you get to, and they give you like kind of a tour, and they tell you like, what happened where, and you get to go see the mountains, you get to see all kinds of really cool shit. I love it, you know what, take it back. I take it back, actually sounds really nice. Yeah, I'll do it.

There's coal everywhere. Well now what's getting into there, like what is this? Yeah, what is this, we're just looking at fuel. Well, as a kid, and I got to play with the coal, and I was all blackened by the coal, and put all the different things, different expectations of a vacation. So take a look at this footage.

Now, these guys shot this. Now, look at this. All right, now, this is, he's in full comic flip. What in the living fuck is this? Now, what you're seeing here is, I believe that's him shitting. You think so? Well, so you see here a very large creature,

very similar to the Patterson, Gimlet footage, again, very tall. No way is it a guy in a suit. No, well, the thing is, okay, musculature. Look at him sit down like he's people. That's me on my toe though. But when he sits down, it looks like he sort of pulls his, like he's, he looks like he's adjusting clothing as he sits out. Yeah, he's adjusting clothing. As he says now.

Yeah, he's adjusting his fur around his knees. Well, no, I actually don't know. I don't know if that's true. That's really, that's clear as fuck though. It's very clear. Which also makes it... It's not clear as fuck, are you kidding? It's extremely clear.

That's extremely clear. It's extremely clear that there's something moving. Yeah, a man not definitely in a suit walking amongst the brush. I do like that it's camouflage. Right. He's definitely the same color as his environment. He's a sandy, he's a sandy brown. Yeah, and I'd say he is lumbering.

He's very much lumbering. That's big foot. He's walking amongst the brush. And his arms do look like abnormally long. Like, what again, look at this. It is very, the arms are long. The arms are extremely long. The legs are very long. big feet attached to legs. You can't see his feet. I see the end of his foot. You see right there. It's kind of goes up on the top right. The thing like it might,

uh, kind of looks like. You reach, but he reaches behind him too. Is it check it for his wall? I know. That's what I was about to say. You don't think Bigfoot doesn't need to fucking American Express. You don't think he doesn't need his membership cards or his punch clubs. Really when he goes down to the coffee shop, look at the, I, I love this set. That's a difficult set for a lumbering, Lomax. Right. He's sitting down and he looks like he's resting his elbows on his knees. I think he's taking a shit.

But he's, I, it looks like his butts fully on the ground and let, it doesn't look like he's squatting. It looks like he's sitting because it's forward. I kind of see a pitch forward where he could be shitting. I don't know. I, ha, this could be it. Well, the only thing I'm mad about that is that you didn't go get this fucking scat, but they're on a train. There's no way that they can go back to anti-trained torque. Because I would like stop the train. You wouldn't have yelled, stop the train. If you saw Bigfoot right next to the train, and that's the other thing too, is that you're also like, this is your precipitate.

You are are pre supposing many things here. You're assuming a lot of things. I'm allowed to. It's a court. So you think Christian court. So you don't think, because that's the thing. You are pre supposing that Bigfoot squats when he shits and then bigfoot doesn't shit while he walks.

I definitely think he squats when he shits because he's way more close to a primate than he would be anything else. I believe he definitely squats when he shits. Do you know that if he was in full run and he had this shit, he would because they do do they'd say that in marathons right? You're supposed to just go. Yeah. Right.

You're supposed to just go. And also they do say that in a flight or fight response quite often animals do defecate. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Right. You're supposed to just go. And also they do say that in a flight or fight response, quite often animals do defecate. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And when they move and birds do birds. That's a part of the reason why birds shit on you when you when they fly off is that they have engaged the use of their wing muscles inside store self bioTL, a Chi-MultiCop. I'm saying this way too confidently. Yeah. I'm pretty certain that birds, that's why it's because they start to fly. And then the natural use of the top muscles makes them disengage their bowel muscles, which is why they shit. I always thought that animals shed in a flight response to like distract. No, I think it's just natural. I think it's because you're trying to literally

lose whatever weight you got. And then you're just, here you, you birds sometimes intentionally poop on people. Yes, the defense mechanism. This is Quora. This is Quora. This ain't real. Hey, Kate, I don't know. We can't because Quora is not real. Guadjitates to me. Digest is food, which is pretty nasty. Quora, it's just full of never listen to Quora. Never listen to Quora. Never do. It's not real. It's not real. Because then also, so as soon as you look up one, it's, it's all the rest that's been like, how do I tell my son to come back? You know, like each story and Quora is worse and worse and worse. Been like, does my dog have AIDS? Can I give my dog AIDS? Very scared. You can,

because guess what? You can. Intervene is drug use. When you are, because you know how many times, when he really struggles with tie-in off her little arm, when she gets her hit, right? Because again, she's just, she's looking to relax, right? She's just, she's just saying, be like, you just fucking fuck up the edge of me. She's just such a fucking pussy about doing it herself.

So I gotta do, I gotta drop the line. You gotta drop the line, yeah. But that's after you've already dropped. Do you drop it in first or do you do the dog? I don't get high on my own supply. It's for the dog. I'm fucking clean and sober good from heroin All right, let's get into one more story like we got away I mean we got a lot of stories here But there's a couple of these here that are pretty fucking good. Oh God. Which one do we do?

I mean we've got either the cyclist or the judge which one you want to go for let's do with the judge All right, take the judgeist or the judge, which one do you want to go for? So let's do with the judge. All right, take the judge. All right, the judge. So an Oklahoma judge could be booted from the bench. This is from the Daily Beast, by the way, after an investigation found she texted her way through a trial over the beating death of a two year old boy with court records revealing she laughed about a prosecutor's

baby hands, wondered whether a juror was wearing a wig and drooled over a, quote unquote, pretty police officer testifying on the stand and she was texting with the bail. It's very, you know, not to be anything. She's got the face, she's got Facebook face. I mean, like, she's got the type of person that's like been an issue, but now somehow she became a Lincoln County district judge. My name is Tracy Soterstrom. And Lincoln County, by the way, that's Billy the kid.

This is Billy the kid territory. I mean, you can tell, like you could see footage. So last month, there was a little bit of controversy because the video of her texting, after first telling the entire court that they need to put all of their phones away so that they can fully pay attention to the evidence. There is footage of her very not serotonously. It reminds me when I thought I was getting away with not working at my office job, where it was like, they know you're not doing it.

You know, like you should be clicking over to, no, yeah, I'm looking at these spades report and like definitely been looking at Reddit all day, right? But she's got her phone is just like underneath her desk, right, which is extremely, extremely fucking sneaky. And there's an overhead camera that's just showing her do it. Where she's just like, like, like, like, like, she's just typing along to the bailiff who was also answering her back in a mean girl fashion.

Yeah, very much so. During a very sad triumph. Yes, it's about a man who beat a two year old to death. And this woman is texting the bailiff about how like, oh, this guy's definitely innocent. On the district attorney, Adam Painter, Sotestrum observed that he was quote unquote, sweating through his coat and asked,

why does he have baby hands? They're so weird looking, which is just ridiculous. 500 texts. Oh, yes. But you need these two people. They apparently, she then, they won't repeat it. looking, which is just ridiculous. I have 100 texts. Oh, yeah. These two people, they apparently, she then, they won't repeat it. They bailiff made a crass and demeaning reference to the genitals of two male prosecutors and she wrote, and then she, this is where it gets really into.

And a laughing face emoji. Don't worry. Don't forget about the laughing face emoji. And also, this is where it really gets into why this is a problem, right? Because then you can ask how is this a crime as we do here on side stories? Because she gave an emotional, the, the, Matt Marshall's girlfriend and Braxton's mother, they, that was the victim, Judith Danker gave emotional testimony about the abuse that Braxton suffered.

So to stream then asked in a text, can I please scream liar liar? Um, which is just, it's just hard because this is, you're not, they're not supposed to make judgments in that way. So obviously, no, they're not, they're supposed to assume that the person is innocent until proven guilty. Or, or be, and I, I, isn't a judge in many ways supposed to be impartial in many ways in every way. In every way, a judge is supposed to be impartial in many ways in every way. In every way, a judge is supposed to be impartial.

And another message, Sartre Strong snarked that prosecutors, quote, just couldn't accept that a mom could kill her kid. So they went after the next person available. And obviously we can't really get into. I don't really know all of the details of the case that they were talking, but really it's just about that idea of like you have this very, very important person who is just fucking with the process in a way that seems to be extremely 2023, and it's just this sort of like everybody's playing, because this was her first murder trial. Yeah.

And it just seems to be this constant playing fast and loose with a bunch of shit that just kind of acted like, you know, which I don't know if it's going to send us in a great direction. I mean, that's the thing about judges is that in this always, this always gets me with elections because I vote every election. I do my civic duty. Fucking nude. No, now I am forced to as well.

Yeah, I like voting, but the thing is about most vote, like when you get to like the votes, when you get to the ballot, there's always the votes for like county judge. Oh, yeah. And most of the time I just picked by like, who's got a cool name? And her name, her last name is Saudersdram. It's a really cool last name. Wow. That's so weird.

I wonder if there's a, there must be some kind of study somewhere. Yeah. That talks about that. Cause I know like, so for your pretty face going to hell, David Willis talks about how he just saw my name and he thought it was a stupid name. He said, that's something a mad magazine guy. Yeah. And he picked my tape and it really helped me work.

And I wonder if there's a lot of that guarantee it across the board. Cause that's the thing, man, is that I even decided like last election. I was like, you know what, man? Like as me and Carolina both take it very seriously. We take our civic duty very seriously. And the last LA elections, Ed sent me a bunch of stuff. Like I really read it, but sometimes for these judges, it's hard to really find out. It's impossible to find out what these people are all about. Like it's impossible to find out like their histories.

Like there's just not much out there unless you spend all fucking day trying to figure out what one judge is all about. So usually it's just a fucking, it's like a, it's a crapshoot. I just don't know who gets, who gets, who gets on the bench and sometimes it's people like this, people who text to the bailiff, look at that hairline. Yeah, about a juror. About a juror. Yeah, the bailiff rides back in all caps, OMG, LOL. Man, and then maybe it's just what we have to deal with in this fucking country.

Maybe it's just because they're, you know, you think they were flirting? Yeah. Do you think this is like sexy? I don't know, because they don't ever mention anything like, like, they don't mention any kind, like it seems like I think it might have just been like a friendship. Like I think maybe they, like had some drinks. Bad girl club. They had some drinks after work might have just been like a friendship. Like I think maybe they like had some drinks. Bad girl club. They had some drinks after work one day, like after a trial and they got to and they found that they really like each other that just said it's like you get me.

You get me. You get me. With Judge Judy's bailiff. Oh yeah, bailiff bird. Do you think they fucked? He's 65 years old. I guess he's still around. Oh no, he's married. I guess they wouldn't have had sex with each other. He's, she seems lovely. His wife seems lovely. Yeah, I think they're, I think they're friends. I think they're probably go to each other's Christmas parties. I would like to hope that they're still friends. I'd like to hope they are too.

Didn't judge Judy back. Oh yeah, she doesn't. She's never went away. No. I think she took a year break. She took a year break. And then I think she's one of those people that like realized that her health was probably failing. Like if I stopped doing this, I'm going to die. Some people are just like that. And they don't continue

to yore bowl into a television. They continue. Look at fucking, but it kept Diane Feinstein alive for like fucking fuck. Finestein. Listen to the fucking dead Kennedy series on No Dogs in Space. If you want to know how badly Diane Feinstein has been fucking shit up since the 1970s, how Diane Feinstein is almost single handedly responsible for the state of San Francisco today and a fucking row of dominoes that started way back in like 1979. Go listen to our fucking dead Kennedy series on No Dogs and Space, which I am particularly proud of. I hate one of our best. One of my favorite attributes of a politician

is if they look like a soft pumpkin. It is one of my favorites. I want them to look like they're soft to the touch. Like they need to wear a helmet because if not, their head will get tempted like a baby from laying on their side for too long. You can just, yeah, their hand, your hand, and slide to the fucking face.

I love how small Joe Biden's eyes are getting every day. I love how he's looking more and more like a, nothing comforts me. But you know, democracy is a risk. It really is. Sometimes it really is a role of the dice. You got to put it all on red. Let it go. All right, here we go. This is a very side story story. And it's, I don't know why, again, it's not that it's not a crime, but how did we get here? Right. Baxter County, Arkansas, no way.

55 year old midway man faces drug and sexual indecency charges after a deputy said he spotted him having sex with the stuffed animal in public. Well, you, you said, he said that., he said that at least one crime in there. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Quartet or court documents 12 45 AM. When else are you going to stuff an animal? Right.

It's October 8th is right around the corner, observed a vehicle at the midway store and lock, which is a storage unit. Um, and he said that he observed that the vehicle was a rock and, but I actually thought that I think actually in many ways, he has a lot to defend himself legally because I do believe it is law that if the car is a rock and you don't come in. I'm pretty certain that he can do that with the, I believe it's the Elvis Presley law that you can do. I believe it's more custom than it is that law. But it's the yeah, it's yeah, rule of law. Yeah, more rule of county than anything.

He said that he observed that the vehicle was a rock and the deputy looked inside the vehicle and he observed more of a man theater or tea more given the third theater tea more than the third. He doesn't. He doesn't look like anybody wanted to make a third. Yeah, oh god, even if you just called him Ted Morgan. Two is just Ted Morgan. Yeah, I put it in the little tiger's mouth. I told you, as a quick look at me,

what's seducing me, Tiger? I'm trying to put all my meth inside my storage unit. Does Ted Morgan and Teddy Morgan are those two different guys? Teddy Morgan, like that, it sounds like the thing he was fucking. I mean, when the deputy looked inside the vehicle, yeah, he was having sex with the stuffed animal. Now they said then he had an active search waiver from the Arkansas Department of Community

Corrections. Obviously, they searched the vehicle and they found a purse, purse containing two marijuana pipes and one syringe. Okay. And then they found approximately three grams of methamphetamine in the purse. And that is I feel like the main crime. That's the big crime. That is how it is a crime.

However, is it his purse? I don't. I think he probably had a lot of excuses. This just turned back from a woman. Can you imagine that you're a methamphetamine? You thought the stuffed animal was a real woman, but the next thing you know, Pobbles popped. Well, I've been fucking a fucking giraffe this whole time.

You know what I imagine? Purple hippo. Why? Why, why, I don't know that was- I guess, guy, I'm all pushing for the cushion. I don't know why, but I just because it gives you a lot to hold on to because yeah, but that's the hippo doesn't mean it's got a big ass on it. Yeah, but it's big, you know, and that's the thing. If you're gonna have the size of the animal versus this, not all stuffed animals are in

what's how you put it? It's in in proportion. In proportion to the animal they represent. I know you can have a tiny stuffed hippo, but I just imagine a medium sized purple stuffed hippo. We'll find out what it is. I love the know. Yeah, I love the know.

But this is men, we've covered so many of these stories outside stories, and I don't really understand the concept of fucking the stuffed animal in public. In anything, it was like a story of a guy that was with his real estate agent that he was looking at a house to purchase and just on a whim started fucking the stuff animal he found in a room. He said, Rubbin is dick and balls all over his stuff animal

and coming on the outside of it. And it's just like, what else has gone on today? Is it, is it, is it, they smell your name wrong on your Starbucks order? Like, why did you, why are you, why is today, that, well, that's the, that's the, always the question. It's always the question of why is today the day, or why is today the day you got caught?

Got slapping. You thought you got so confident. Yeah, berserk or mo at jerking off it. I just don't know what is good about like, I mean, you never, you never had relations with a pillow when you were younger. No, you didn't really. No, I was never into my hands,

I think you're in the minority. You know, I loved it. I loved it. Side stories LPL, LGML.com, what stuff the animals have you fucking had? I mean, I didn't fucking stuff the animals, just a large like a couch cushion. Was it, didn't hold and used to stick his dick

between two mattresses? Yeah, that was him. That's fucking also horrible. Yeah. No, mine was regular, dawg. Yeah, I mean mine was also regular, but there was just other objects and many other things and many other things.

Mine was experimentation. No, mine was straight ass regular and then, you know. But you're pretty, but you're just, you're pretty vanilla when it comes to sex. I just like, I'm much more adventurous. I just like it to be there. Yeah, you like it to be an option. You're a simple man.

I, it's an option that is available to me in a fun, nice, wholesome, romantic way. Yeah, I'm more of a mad scientist. You know, I, I guess as I get older, I don't play with my, you know, you don't do anything. But you never did it. No.

No, see, yeah, I'm always very Polish. It's futile, Terry. It's very much being like, what are we doing here? Do we have an exit plan? Yeah. Well, I mean, that's like, my tastes are definitely decidedly not British

as, you know, per my ancestry. You'd be surprised though, some of these British get into some freaky-ass stuff. I tried to make rose wets. That is true. There is definitely an undercurrent, and I've seen some documentaries involving the British in which things get quite strange. You they have that taxi cab one. Yeah, they're big on the taxi, because the taxi's are so big there. But the thing is, they are very big, but also like, I feel like the men in the videos

are so much more like, ee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e. They'll just look like chimney sweeps. Who the big weird binna, I don't think she gave, I'll fix you a fucking gap. You hear me in like that style, I'm like, ee-e-e-e.

I also happen to know that it is a custom, again, custom, uh, while... Not a law? Not a law. In a British boys boarding school, for them to experiment with each other sexually. Side stories, LPO T.L. No, please don't. No, it's all. I don't want to hear about the boys everyone experimented

with when they were in grade school. Well, I think it was more like an old school thing. I think it was something they did more like in the 50s and the 60s. I don't know if that I feel like that's a broad, that's a broad brush to fucking paint with friends. I heard tell I don't remember from an old weird man. You got to be careful or your sources are. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I'm going to I'm going to England visit family over Christmas.

So, you know, maybe maybe I'll ask the family. I won't ask the family. They just live there. But I will perhaps one day in a pub when I'm enjoying my steak and al pie. Let me show you something here. Sonny, send me ask you. Listen, I'm from America. So when you were a boy, did you and the other boys suck each other off? They're gonna love it. I might have to go to the more park sections. I'm from Los Angeles. First of all, I just want to ask for not, and it's not really not for a movie

for documentary. So when you guys roll little boys, you guys all fucked and sucked each other, right? No, I'd have to ask the posh boys who went to the boarding schools. Because it's not, I mean, I don't know about the more working class fellas, because I'm not really sure.

I know from study and joint division on no dogs in space, the more working class fellas because I don't I'm not really sure. I know from study and joint division on no dogs in space, the more working class. I know that they're really I know that they're a little bit more open with like, but you know what it is is that I actually recently watched a video someone I was like something was on and it was about the New Zealand like football team. There was something they were doing. And it was like, damn, all like, chugging on each other's dicks, and then one guy shitting on another guy's head. Chugging on their dicks?

Yeah, like they were like pulling on each other's dicks, and like pissing on each other. Yeah, because chugging on dicks is hard. I'm from the tugging on. That's something else. Yeah, that's something else. And that sounds like a rugby thing. He was.

Yeah. There was a footy thing, and then they were all like, I hate boys. I still I still to this day. I like girls. I like you know, with girls. I don't we don't I'm far I also far prefer the company of women. Yeah, I don't want it. I don't need to I've never seen a bunch of women. I guess some women slap clips. Yeah, I've seen it right. They got a little good click. Yeah, click tap. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. Do they do click check? Tide stories, LPM, yeah. I do.

Gmail.com, we're asking a lot of questions here. I know, I guess it's good to kick it to the audience. But I like being on side stories now because all of my curious queries can be answered. I don't ever have to look anything up. And then I just believe whatever you guys say. It's kind of nice. Yeah, I mean, I would say that our polls,

samples are skewed, but. Yeah, it towards our favor. Yeah, towards our favor. And towards our polls, samples are skewed, but- Yeah, it towards our favor. Yeah, towards our favor, and towards our favorites. You. Our favorites. Fly from your play. Do we got time for another story? All right, this is a great story.

Now, this story here is, we'll cover this. This is the fucking, you gotta be careful, man. You really do. You gotta keep your head in the goddamn swivel when you're out there dating, okay? Because you never really know anybody. Accus cyclist killer had escaped plans for months. Now, this was a person, this is, you could just see,

you could see, it's how her eyes are shaped. Like one slightly above the other, she got Ted Bundy eyes. Shannon Dory-Deyes. Yes. Now, this was Caitlin Marie Armstrong as allegedly been cocking a scheme. I've been trying to figure out how to train to escape police custody

because they are accused of the murder of a pro cyclist. You know what? Look, she has Manson girl. Oh, very close. She gives real heavy Manson girl vibes. Just put... Do-do-do-do-do-do real heavy man and girl vibes. Always and always forever. Yeah, and you know, like for all this one, man, please, um, to Armstrong 35. She is charged with first to remurder in the killing of competitive cyclist Anna Mariah Wilson, who's 25 years old. Now, apparently, um, Anna Mariah Wilson, the victim, went on a date with Caitlin Marie Armstrong, the killer's

boyfriend. Quote unquote, a date. It sounds like, and the boyfriend was a by the name of Colin Strickland, who is also a professional cyclist. And it sounds like we don't know that he was either something friendly that misconstrued or maybe he was caught on the beginning of cheating, but who fucking knows? No one deserves to die for it. Nope, because it just shows you, yeah, yeah, you could throw that in to curve. You could get in to curve, girl. You could get that in to curve.

All right, so you move on. You move on. So they went, apparently this Wilson and Strickland had went on a swimming. They went swimming together. And then again, it's, until maybe seeing each other in a bathing suit, it's not super friendly, but I don't know, you know, and then they had dinner together. And then that night, I guess somehow she found out the poor lady, Anna

Mariah Wilson, was shot dead later that night, presumably allegedly by Caitlin Marie Armstrong. Now the thing is, of course, allegedly, but the next day she used the bogus passport to fly to Costa Rica, not super innocent, sounding, you know, and then she spent 43 days on the lamb before being captured at a backpackers lodge in the popular beach town of Saint Teresa. Sounds lovely. They said they actually found she had just purchased about $6,350 worth of cosmetic surgery that she was up just about to go get. But the next part is where it gets interesting is that so they pick her up, right? And so they go to transport her to, I guess she had a medical visit they wanted to do. Well, first they brought her from Costa Rica, they brought her back to Austin.

And apparently up to this point, what the police officers did not know was that she was actively training on how to get away from police officers. Yeah. So she's running sprints, doing yoga, lifting weights, doing squats with weights, doing all set practicing jumping. She then went and staged what looked like a leg injury to so that she can then have medical reason to not have leg restraints put on her, right? So she did that she set this whole up. They said now that there was no history of the injury that we had no idea if you even had

an injury, but she said up. And then they also found within her cell phone case a handcuff picking, like little piece of material, like a tool. And this lady almost, I guess almost did it. Well, I mean, the attempted escape, she got away for 10 minutes. Like a 10 minute run is like, that's a lot because most escape attempts from jail, like it, they get about six feet before some they just get taken down. Training about six feet before some, they just get taken down. Training.

Yeah. I mean, just dig it. It's all about, you see that, you hear that pistol go off? You gotta be able to, you know, I get with the spring motion. Yeah. And I'm able to just put up. Yeah. And I'm watching the footage.

There's a little bit of, there's about 10 seconds of footage of her running. And I gotta see this flip this to me. And I gotta say, good for him. Let me see this. I'm gonna see this footage right here because actually I haven't seen this because I don't know if she can beat me. You think she's fastest, she's not fast with me. You fucking kidding me.

I'm the fastest man with a 10 feet. Within 10 feet. Yeah, if you can get, if you're trying to escape from prison and you're like 10 feet from an airplane like door that's about to like close. Yeah, like it's like the expendables. Yeah, I would love that. You have a.

Whoa, yeah, she's, oh, yeah, she's digging. Yeah. Whoa, those are long strides. Yeah, that's what I say. Like good form. Like this woman is getting away. And what she did was that she had set herself up. She had, she had planted being cold.

She wore a set of thermals underneath her, her uniform. They had put her in a prison uniform and she somehow got out, took off the fucking prison uniform. So she looked like she was just dressed in normal ass clothes and then just boom. I think she tries to jump the fence. That's the issue here. She tries to jump the fence to get caught. Dressed in normal clothes except for her bottoms, which are like, I didn't know Texas was

still doing like beagle boys, like fucking black and white stripes. Old school, like old school, like silent film. Yeah. Style. I think it's their thing there is to embarrass you. Oh, yeah, Texas really loves to embarrass you for committing a crime. They really like to humiliate you. It's, yeah, Texas is really big.

Like, you know how some places like kind of give you shit and humiliate you and it's kind of like in the spirit of fun. You're from Queens. Yeah, Texas is really big. Like, you know how some places like kind of give you shit and humiliate you. And it's kind of like in the spirit of fun. You're from Queens, you know how that goes. When New York is very, you know, obviously we're very candid. Your opinions of you, but largely extremely, if you spend any time in New York City, and New York natives are very friendly,

actually very nice and very helpful. Yeah, if there was one word that I would use to describe Texas, it's cruel. It can be. Yeah, it can be very cruel. And cruel and like in the humiliation is very cruel. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

So they definitely want to, they want to beat you down and a laugh at you as much as they possibly can. Can I just don't really understand? Cause can we all just get along? Is that what you're at this point? That's what you're asking if Texans can just get along with other Texans. I want this whole entire state built upon conflict.

I just wish I could go out there and ride a rainbow shaped horse. I want the horse to be shaped like a rainbow. I don't want to go out there. I don't want to bring peace to every child, every man, every woman in this great world of ours. And that's all I try to do here. I'm going to send you to a town called Throck Morton, Texas. And I want you to try to bring peace to Throck Morton.

Guys, I think it's time for the first ever summer edition of Mid-Summer's Night's Dream. Come on, come on, come on, come on. I mean, like, ah, yes, Sheriff, you, yes, you spend all your day on the public stage, don't you? But now it's time to do it in the service of the great Bard himself. Come on, from Woodson, from Guthrie, from Nox City, from Rochester. Oh, come to see the Bard's most curious and wimsical tale.

Ha, ha, you're the local accused murderer, but now you're puk! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, all you're the man who runs the poison well, now you're the famed Iberia. Oh, who shall be wearing the donkey head tonight? I think I can help with the power of them. I think you can. So we'll set this up. We'll set this up and you'll go to the home of Bob Lilly,

but a fucking Dallas Cowboys player who is alignment in the 70s and you'll go there and you'll show them culture. And all of their ways will be turned around and but one night of the theater. I see that you'll use to the war upon the gridiron, but if you ever dealt with the true drama of pay those upon the stage. So you're raping me. So I'll please leave me alone.

And so now we don't know what the hell is gonna happen with this lady. Yeah. I think she's got a problem. I mean, go to the Gimber isn't for that. I bet her trial is scheduled for, I guess it's like not too far from now. So I'm gonna say October 30th. Yeah, so she'll get hers.

Who spooky. Yeah. Would that be fun? Yeah, it's a Tuesday. Gina Doud on a Tuesday. No. That's all you guys Tuesday. Gina died on a Tuesday. That's all you guys, Gina died on a Tuesday from AIDS. Why didn't Forest?

Okay, I know. We've gone through this again and again and again. It was the shrimp. I don't know what's in the shrimp. That's what saves me. Nowfft. Ha ha ha ha. Now it's time for some hero of the week. Out of the way. Out of the way.

There we go. All right. We got two of these. One is traditional in terms of hero of the week. Bear breaks into Connecticut home head straight for the refrigerator. Steel's frozen was on. That's great. You know, it's just that simple.

That's one. I usually want to say this one because that's easy. Bear went in there. It somehow like, you know, like's just that simple. That's one. I just want to say this one because that's easy. Bear went in there. It's somehow like, you know, like what we did with Andrew Kanan and must have been familiar with the home figured out where it is hilarious because it's very cute. He went straight to the freezer drawer. I really don't know how he did figure that out. He opened up the freezer drawer. They said they were and he just, I guess he smelled something and he just ate a bunch of frozen lasagna They were in there and you know god bless him. That's what else are you gonna do. Yeah, how did he get into the house? Uh, I think that he was allowed in you think he's

Honey, do we have an orc an appointment today? Just bear here says he works for organ? Yeah, he says he broke into the house, he broke it. Oh, he broke it through a screen door. Oh, and then he calls out the window. It's very, very cute. Yeah, because that's where bears are more like dogs. Yeah, a big bear, a black bear is more like a dog than anything else.

Yeah, you can yell at it and it'll walk away. Yeah, it's not like a grizzly bear or a polar bear. Yeah, rip open your fucking guts. Yeah, yeah, no, no. Look at this, here, use the actual footage of it. Yeah, he just went right in. That is just, I, you know, I don't mind it. Oh, he's got a big bear butt.

That's cute as hell. You know, and then he barely did any damage. He really actually just wandered around the house, but then you got that bear smell. Yeah, he probably pissed and shit over a bunch of things. Yeah. Yeah, you can see, I knew, I don't know, God, I don't know how they knew,

but you don't got, it's how it works. The mysteries of life. It is. And here's the other real hero of the week, because I think it's fun, but again, it is traditional of celebrating of a fun criminal. Monthly woman steals car from dealership to drive to exotic dancer interview in Indianapolis. Police came, a Muncie woman didn't know what the big deal was.

She was stealing a key from a car dealership in order to allow her to drive to Indianapolis for a job interview to be an exotic dance. 20 years old to be young again. K.C.S. Shelton acted like this whole thing was a joke. Did not understand what she was going to be an exotic dance. 20 years old to be young again. KC a Shelton acted like this whole thing was a joke. Did not understand what she was going to be arrested for. You could definitely tell the people who like are planning on cruising on their good looks for like the rest of their life. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly again, until a lot of times it works

and you just gotta find the right town. And guess what, it's not Muncie. You ever been the Muncie? I don't wanna go to Muncie. I've been the Muncie? I don't want to go to Muncie. I've been the Muncie. Have you? Yeah. What is it?

The infamous road trip. The mean journey. Yeah, you're fucking when you did your, your Jones town. Yeah, we, yeah, we eventually, we started by going to pot. We are. Our original plan was to go to Muncie, Indiana to visit the home of Garfield, pause, ink and then it turned into a Jones down road trip.

Yeah. Muncie's, it's a town that has, Yeah, it's a town. It's a town that has a, well, I would say a lot of Illinois has an aura of, it all feels like the background of the video to a fast car, I trace the traffic. Well, I don't,

I feel like it's a place that you got to grow up in. And if you don't grow up there, it's very uncomfortable and strange. It's got a strange feeling to it because that was also the place where we went like we were driving around. We went to James Dean's hometown, his hometown. Well, there's a lot to see in Anna. Yeah, but it's very close to James Dean's hometown. It's very, very close.

Well, I'm here. What's special about Moncy? Yeah, I said Illinois. I meant Indiana. Yeah, and now we see the, this here are the Middleton studies. I know what that is. Yeah, but we went to the, we're supposed to go to the James Dean Museum. And apparently this town has two James Dean museums. And one of the, there's the official James Dean Museum. And then there's the unofficial one.

And we found out later after going to the unofficial one, the unofficial one is run by a convicted pedophile. And you just don't go that you're not supposed to go to that one. Yeah. Now Bob Ross apparently filmed his joy of painting show, the TV station WIPB in Muncie from 84 to 94. Mm-hmm. And then apparently Garfield.

Mm-hmm. Uh, because Jim Davis graduated from Ball State University. Yeah. And you know, Jim Davis, uh, James Dean and Jim Jones are all from the same, like, they're all born and raised in like a 50 mile radius of each other. I make sense. It's known for ball canning jars. Well, the ball-copperate corporation that produces glass jars and lids for home canning

and began in Muncie. And apparently the guy that convicted pedophile that runs the James D museum, children are told to stay away from him because he still has that leering look. That just shows. I mean, so crazy after all these years. He's still got it. That's where they're like, he's still going to your end here. He's still got it.

Fuck it, frightening. Also, I guess close encounters, the third time was supposed to take place in Muncie, but obviously you never filmed there. You're filmed in Mobile, Alabama and away. Yeah. So don't, don't bring anyone in there. Nope. Not to Muncie.

And also, there's a bunch of Garfield statues all around. They're very large. Yeah, Jim Davis is this guy. He's got a hold on Indiana that we'll never understand. He really does. There's eight Garfield statues that you're that are in different towns in Indiana that you're supposed to go and see. Oh, we only found the fishermen Garfield. Because at the other small towns, they were making Carolina and I very uncomfortable for existing and being there in their town. Yeah, Fagafil. Oh, yeah, for the Dick Suckin competition. In which one of you's the judge?

Oh, here we go. Let's look, get some listen to him. It's kind of a long one. It's good. It's, it's spooky. My partner bought her house in 2014 after the previous owner is signed. It was owned by a decorated war veteran named Paul and his wife Nancy. Ooh, like Newman. He served.

Newman has a wife named Nancy. I forgot her name. No, she was famous actress for. He served over 20 years of active duty, including two tours in Japan, German, Gordon, he was obituary. He's a 50 year old member of the American Legion, a Masonic Lodge, as well as a bunch of other veteran groups. Paul and Nancy settled down in this house when he retired from the military while they lived in Germany. They had had two babies that died in infancy.

Joe Ann Woodward. That's who it was. Yep, not Paul. Not Paul. Um, at least one of whom Nancy allegedly killed. My partner's parents lived next door and did a lot, quite a lot to help them in their old age. And they say Nancy notoriously hated children.

And when they passed, my partner bought the house and all its contents. It was literally like one of those houses you'd see in the show hoarders. Each room was overflowing with different things that Nancy collected over the years, with a narrow pathway going from room to room. My partner removed or sold most of the contents, but several pieces of beautiful, imported German furniture and other things were kept. And when I moved in two years ago,

Nancy's dishes were still in the kitchen cabinets. Now for the spooky shit. Number one, Paul and Nancy's story hooked me. Now for a couple of months living there, I would go to the basement and poke around to see if I could find anything interesting. One day I found what looked to be an old mud-spattered leather camera case.

When I opened it up, I realized I was holding Paul's military issued binoculars. And what I at first thought was mud was actually blood. Cool. And my first instinct was to immediately salt and burn the fucking thing, but it's such an interesting piece of history that we just stored it.

Never do that. That's awesome. Don't burn it. No, don't burn it, such an interesting piece of history that we just stored it. Never do that. That's awesome. Don't burn it. No, don't burn, of course not, like nasty. Just clean it. Yeah. That's either, yeah, that's World War II blood. Oh yeah.

My partner's six-year-old is terrified of our house, and will consistently and randomly insist that the house is haunted and asks us to sell the house and move. She's been doing this this whole time that I've lived there. She can play into she hates her room because it's so scary.

But despite us putting in a ton of effort to make it a fun, bright, colorful place, she's plagued with nightmares. And it's terrified of bedtime. She once told me that when she closes her eyes to sleep, she sees flashes of an arm holding a knife with blood dripping off of it. She can't sleep without a light on. She also insists that she sees and hears people in the house at night. She pointed to her closet curtains and told him

that sometimes there was a man that stands between them staring at her. Her closet is brightly lit with string lights, so it's hard to chalk it up to a shadow. Our dogs will be chilling as number three and in suddenly both jump up, run to the other room, stare bark growled, the empty staircase leading to a second floor

as if they can see an intruder. And four, one day I just left the house and moments later, my partner called to ask me if I had said anything to her on the way out the door. And I said, no, she got freaked out and said that she heard a clear feminine voice call out from the same staircase saying, see you later. She was alone in the house. See you later. To go through the window.

I was watching in City of the Night. Technically it's just a novelty song. Why is it an evil song? I don't know why it's an evil song either. I love tiny timings. I think tiny timings can be obvious. It gives people a weird vibe. I guess so.

I don't know if you ever chaked out to be if we're pretty bad by who it is. No, not at all. I love them. He died on stage. It's a fucking dream. Tip five, number five. The only thing that all three of us have witnessed happened in the room in which Nancy

was bedridden in the years leading to her death. This room was the quote unquote wind chime room, and she had hung wind chimes from every inch of the ceiling and the ceiling fan. On two separate occasions, we were there with the kiddo and saw the ceiling fan start spinning on a slope at consistent speed. I flipped the switch to see if it was a weird electrical glitch. To our shock, the fan stopped and started spinning much faster the other way. This has only happened when our kid was in the room with us. Are we being haunted by Paul and Nancy?

We may never know. You're definitely being haunted by Paul and Nancy. Unless may never know. You're definitely being haunted by Paul and Nancy. Unless there are choice to not get the wiring fixed. And they're all, then you're just haunted by their home ownership. Oh, the win-chime room. That's such a cook. As what I imagine with that is that she was so haunted by the murder of her own child, so haunted by the memory that she had to get hundreds upon hundreds of win-chimes.

Everywhere. To make the memory go away. I guess I have to know if the baby's coming to abort me. It's a baby coming to abort me. Um, wow, what if, fucking, we're getting here. So we're getting here, we're there, man. We're in close spooky. It's the middle of the month.

It's the middle, man. Have you been up on your horror movies? What have you been watching? Well, I just got those two. I've been kind of getting more and more back into watching horror movies. Last time I watched Trick or Treat, the other day, I mean, that talked to me movies.

Fucking awesome. Love talked to me. That was it. Watch it last week. The first real, you know, obviously, judgy, but it's the first real like zoom or movie I've enjoyed. Well, because the way I looked at it is that it's just kids being kids, you know, just like, you know, with 70s movies and 80s movies and 90s, like anytime you do it, just kids being kids. You know, just like, you know, with 70s movies and 80s movies

and 90s, like anytime you do it, just kids being kids, like just like scream is a great example of that. 90s kids being 90s kids. So like the Friday the 13th movie, 70s kids being 70s kids. And this felt like the very first one of those of just like Zoom or like it follows with millennial kids. Which is great.

And then I do think that it's there, I love the concept of using possession to get like high. It's such a funny, not funny, but it's a great. I was like, that's an original idea. You know what it reminded me of reminded me of like smoke and salvia. Yeah. It's very similar, which is now I'm just reminding you to never do that again. Never do it again.

And before we do a little run off here, just join us this Friday. We're going to be in San Diego uh come now to the Balboa Theater October 20th all the shows are going to be there we're going to have a lot of fucking fun um I'm really excited to see you guys in person uh again to dress spooky I know we did the reason why it's summer theme is because we came up we booked a show in the summertime and I didn't even think about when it was so now it's like we're gonna spook it up. So make sure you'd like, you know,

Halloween costumes aren't encouraged. And go to Veebs.com, v-e-e-e-p-s.com slash L-P-O-T-L to buy a live stream ticket you can watch it live from the comfort of your own home. And I think it's gonna be a nice. This will be a nice, right? It's gonna be real great. Yeah, we just got our no-dugs in space.

Bit all worked out. It's gonna be fucking awesome. We're gonna be talking about one of the greatest feuds in the history of rock and roll. I can't wait. Any guys check it out. Live every day. Walking towards that spooky, spooky, spooky life, man.

Live a, live a spooky life. Because again, it's next to sexy. Yeah. Because then you can love feeling like, you know, dressing in black. It's thinning. You know, like go in there, like show people be like, Oh, look, I'm cool. I'm mysterious. Don't you want to get to know me? Then you want to ask me questions and they don't need to know that you're fucking internally boring, right? You're like, they don't have to know until it's too late. Or fill a whole room with wind chimes. That's

the way to do it. Because then you become spooky just that way. Now, you know what I mean? Then you're just spooky, almost unappartible person. What do you think is really, really important? And then you can laugh your way all the way to be a dead and a chair and don't find a you for a couple of weeks. It's your choice. It's your choice.

And that's the only way to live by your own. God damn hand. Goodbye. Hey, all suits say, I'm on Hellgate. Thank you for your gifts, we'd say. Happy Halloween. own goddamn hands. Go to LastPodcastNetwork.com.