Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Disclosure Daze w/ Alaska Thunderfuck 5000

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

The boys return with this week’s biggest stories and true crime news as SmartSchoolboy9 crawls back into the light with a warning, daredevils around the world take things one step too far, and Henry goes head-to-head with Disclosure Day. Then, drag royalty descends upon Side Stories as the boys are joined by the one and only Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 for the release of her new single, "Revolution". For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. How you doing, buddy?

We have a very special guest in the studio in a little bit. It was really fun to have like some nice feminine energy in this place. Yeah. It smelled better for a second. It did because like I tried to, I put cologne on. Did you? I wash. Really?

Yeah. I got my, uh, I got, I got this new, uh, squatch deodorant. I hate it. But, I'm wearing it. And, uh, I did it. I love that. Yeah. I love that.

You just don't care. You don't care. Well, there are, no one sells Mitchum anymore. I tried to switch them to match them. And no one's got fucking Mitchum. It's because they put, like, tobacco in it. Yeah. Yeah.

But that's, but now my armpits are red again. Because I'm squatching. You know, I find it because you, yeah, you got irritated. You do the old Sput. Fucked me. All right, this is a bad way to start. What are you talking about? We can't just talk about your underarm irritation.

I feel like it was great. I mean, it's too late. The show we already began. Oh, good. I thought you were trying to restart. No, we're locked into this. My shit's all fucked up. I'm looking for help.

You're fucking telling me to start over. You know what? Side Stories L-P-O-T-L-G-Mel.com. This is a real problem that Ed has had forever. His armpits get irritated. Yeah, and only Mitchum helps me, but I can't find it anywhere. You like Mitch and I don't use Amazon. So I don't know.

to do. He doesn't use, honestly, I told him to fucking put red clay. That's what I was saying, that's what he needs. Red clay. Maybe that's my issue. What? That's why it's all red. All the clay. Yeah, that might be the problem. Welcome to side stories. My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with the irritated Ed Larson. And that's, you know, Eddie, you're allowed to be irritated. I just feel like, you know what I switch to straight up. I just, you know, we'll give, we're staying. We're staying. in this boring lane, I'll be right here. I switched up to fancier

deodorant, and it's better for me. Really? I use this, like, balm. I'm willing to up my game. I'll send you what I use. Really? We have similar bodies. We do. Back in college, Henry's like, there's like this red spot above my penis, and then I literally

was like, you mean like this one? And I shot. It goes away. It goes away. Yeah, yeah. It's called that. Yeah, yeah. Rob likes the native. I like the native, too. I used a native, but I you's kind of like fancier stuff. Oh, nice. Yeah, and we'll get you in there. Thank you. I appreciate you.

Speaking of this, there's an update. Update? You know, I just wanted to get into this very, very tough. First of all, it's all the people who wrote in about their handlebar mustache, the people that have fucked people with handlebar moustaches, the people who defended your handlebar moustache. I just want to say, I'm proud of you. I'm proud that you stood up to me. Yeah.

Right? I'm proud that you did that. I'm proud that you stand in it. And I will reiterate what I said before, which is it wasn't a full-on criticism of the Handelbar mustache, but you men, you straight men, as you'll see our guests we talked about today, you straight men with Handelbar Mustaches are brave in the fact that you're a, you take that onto yourself and that fight onto yourself, and I appreciate that. I mean, it's better than just dress it and clothes from Walmart and smelling like shit.

Completely agree, Eddie. And I want to say, there's a lot of people that say, the handlebar mustache makes a man look safe. I say opposite, but that's what a woman says. It's literally a cartoon image of a man tying a woman to a train track and blowing her up. Women like that, though. I got

several messages from women who said they specifically fucked men because they look like that. Women, we forget or broken Eddie. Yes. Like that's the thing is that we forget. A woman chose us. Yeah. So if a woman... And we fixed them. We did. Oh, we got right in there. We got right in there.

Okay? And we fixed that up. I know that those generous forward-thinking women exist. Yeah. And that's who's attracted to real men like us. Forward-thinking women. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like inventors. Women who've already been with lots of bad men. And they're like, you know what? Attractions for the birds. Yeah, who cares? I can learn to be attracted to it. I can grow to be attracted to it. And you know what, ladies, you should try that.

try to be attracted to somebody you're not that isn't a toxic person just because they're nice. Yeah, ugly people are fine. They can be. Some of them are awful. Honestly, a lot of ugly people are also bad too. Yeah, you're right. You know what? Celibacy. Speaking of

Become a lesbian. Smart School Boy Night is back. Oh, definitely become a lesbian. Now this guy to remind all of you around the end of 2024, this man who's an Instagram user, went on their name Smart School Boy Nine, and a bunch other things. We went in a deep dive of this guy where he pretended to be

a little British boy where he covered himself in makeup. He does a high pitch voice. Yeah, he does a high-pish British voice. He dresses like a weird little old boy. He first started with him making fake Instagram accounts where he was pretending to be a little boy and then pretending to be all the other little kids talking back to him.

He's a nightmare to behold. He's got a big thick tongue that he sticks out. He's got these little, he's painted his face white and he dresses like Angus Young from ACDC. And then what he does and he chases little boys. Yeah, he follows people, right? There's been recently, that's where it was escalating, too,

because he also did truth sticks, two. There was other, Stephanie Schooley was another account that he used. And if you look weird on socials, that's one thing. That's, you know, what are you going to do? Yes, but he began to approach people in real life, which is what he then said he never did. Even he denied all this, but we know smart schoolboy and is out there, and we know he stopped for a while due to all this attention.

But it seems that Smart Schoolboy 9 is no longer patient enough to stay home. Because as Rob's going to play right now, Smart School Boy 9 has sent another missive to all of us who dare comment upon his life. Hi there. I'm the real original Smart Schoolboy 9. A proper child. Just to be clear, okay? Now, you've probably heard about the unscrupulous scammers that had lied about a... Sounds like you got two videos playing.

No, it's his bad editing. ...2020. Recently, some have decided to admit that they were asked to deny last age. I was never asked lie by Sparks Schoolboy 9. He did this to himself. Yeah, we didn't know who they were. admitting that they were, in some cases, begged to lie about me. Everybody told me to not talk about him specific.

Yeah, even me, I believe. I don't look at those comments. I'd call about them. Plenty of those comments are, of course, from real bad people. Some have been caught already. Some have been found out. and caught. Others were just

scammers. But they got in so deep some of them, because they couldn't stop. They couldn't stop themselves. See, Scott School Boy 9 thinks that coming at me is a good thing for him to do. So you think this is directed

at you? Yeah. Now, who's full of themselves? Smart School Boy 9 or you? I think that I am his Batman. And that I have, I have arrived here with him. No, I think that it's... Nick Crowley, he was the guy that went and went deep in on Smart Schoolboy 9.

He's got 13 million views on his YouTube. Which is, I think, yeah, we've talked about this. We sent people to him. And I just think it's interesting that these villains want to come back. And we'll see what he's going to do. Because he's saying that all of the scammers and the people that said lies about him, they're all being punished and arrested. But here I am, Smart Schoolboy 9.

I don't think he's talking about us. I think that he should be. Because we were probably the biggest show that actually covered him. Well, he's got 13 million YouTube views. The internet liked him, but now we're back covering him. Now we're here. So I just want to say, smart schoolboy 9, good luck. Yeah, we're watching you.

You're coming at him? You're challenging him? Yeah, why not? Come on the show. No, no, they're not coming on the show. Come on the show. Oh, God. Come on, you don't have the balls to come on the show.

They're not invited. Probably don't even fucking know where we live. I'll tell you exactly where we live. Where's that? 656 Metropolitan Avenue, Brooklyn, New York. Oh, there's a picture without makeup. No, that is. I think someone else made that.

Oh, someone to see what they really look like around. else made that. So have there been any other reports like around? Well, they're saying that the, it went into hiding. I'm calling it it. It went into hiding at some point because of all the attention was receiving. And then I think it just took off its fucking costume

and its makeup. And now that it's getting, it's ready to kind of find its way back because it needs attention. Misses the attention. Yeah. Yeah. So it's got nothing else going on. Yeah. So what'll probably happen is like this is maybe the time when they will do something bad. Seems like

They'd be a great villain in a pointless film. That's what I love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It seems like they never really disappeared. They just kind of went underground. Went underground a little bit. They were still being creepy and messaging kids. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We know they didn't go through a manhole cover. Right, right, here we go. What else we got here? We got, it's kind of a fun story that I liked. Just real quick. I mean, I feel like I'd be disrespecting my alligator people not to bring it up. Please. In Louisiana, there was a guy who got a DWI, and when the cops pulled him over, he ran from them, and he jumped into a swamp.

And they were like, hey, get out of that swamp. He's like, fuck you, cops! And then a gator saw him in the swamp and swam at rapid speed towards him and started attacking him. And it's all on the cops cam. It's pretty fucking cool. Whoa. He'd leave the alligator, the alligator, kill him. The alligator bit his arms up pretty bad, but he lived.

and he's in a hospital right now and he's gonna end up in prison after that. No, he's a DWI. Oh, that's it. Look, all right, check this out. Check us out. You see him there, you see? Hold on, but he's not going to attack.

That's him swimming, and then you see it, look, a bee lining right for him. Oh, shit. It's just fucking beeline. That Gator's a fucking cop, dude. That's sobering up real fast, huh? That's the thing, man. It's like, I don't even know if you can give him a breathalizer after that.

I'll just be like, all right, buddy. I think we can call this even? Can't you just call it even? If he's been bid by an alligator, like, you could just go and like, all right, you just... Get the fuck home. Took his arms, you could call it even.

You know, just go home. Go home. I don't think he can go home. Yeah, he's... Oh, yeah, this is the thing, is that now the entire... They're making memes about making the big alligator

of fucking police officer. Don't do this to the alligator. Yeah, it's not a hard enough life. Don't give it a job. It isn't even a job. Just trying to eat. They barely even have a pension plan anymore. Yeah.

What's going to happen when that alligator lives to 100 fucking 75 years old especially in Louisiana. Oh my god. They treat their cops like shit down there. Absolutely. He's going to die. Honestly, I bet you alligator as a cop dies faster than alligator in nature because of distress.

Oh yeah. The food, all the bad fast food and stuff like that. The family. Oh my God, my wife going, why aren't you here to watch the eggs anymore? Is it god damn it? Bitch, I'm not as territorial as you. I'm just a fucking, I'm a lizard that has a job for the

U.S. government. I love them they gave him five fingers. Yeah, that's a man's like the same. Of course it's AI. You think it's a real fucking alligator in a cop costume? I don't trust this one. This one seems a little fishy.

There's something about this picture doesn't make any sense. I think it's the fact that he's wearing a bulletproof vest. And why would an alligator need one? He's got scales. Yeah, you know, a little classy. Yeah, you know, it's nice. people yeah honestly but they just you know

DWI just stop and take it just roll over and take it guess what because a lot of times yeah right now it's bad but it won't even ruin your life anymore like I used to no no you'll be fine especially Louisiana they don't even have real laws Louisiana yeah um you want to talk about

the daredevil who does yeah that shit's crazy this is one of those where I know that they ask for pure death I know that's the idea I mean it's a part of the like I guess Like side stories L-P-O-C-L at g-mail.com. I haven't seen a giant, like, stunt in a long time.

Do we want to see him succeed or are we happier when they die? No one watches this to watch them succeed. Everyone's watching to see them fall. But I do think that people are then upset when they do see them fall. Yes, because it's upsetting to watch someone die. Yes. People make a lot of decisions and watch a lot of things that make them upset. See, this guy did a base jumping thing, right?

So I guess he had walked on a slack line. for what he did that and he his name was sketchy Andy Sketchy Lewis his name should have been smacky splatties he's famous for he was the guy who performed during Madonna's

Super Bowl halftime show in 2012 and he died in a base jumping accident in Utah now what is that that just means he just jumped right and then he basically splatted he hit a bunch of he bad lieutenant some some heroin he did no I'm just saying free

it's basically Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I was not to say this about the story's been to get a lot better. No, no, no, he just fell, and it's kind of sad. But here's the thing is, if a daredevil never dies, then what's the point? Then what's the point of the whole genre? I know. I think that they have to die occasionally.

I also feel like in this way, this man died that in a way that would make him extremely happy. I think, you know, if he was going to die this way, I bet you he'd much rather die doing a base jump than dying of pancreps. creative cancer, like, laying in a hospice. Yeah. I imagine that he never really even thought about having grandchildren surrounding him in a deathbed and him, like, you know, whittling and stuff. Like, he probably didn't even... Certainly not. It's probably what he wanted. Because what's his name? Who's the guy that does all the, like, the climbs, like, essentially

flat surfaces that think if I have 500K to, that guy that other... The guy did the Netflix thing that was so boring? Free balling, what's it called? Free solo. Free solo. Free solo. Yeah, he goes up there and he does that. just hates his girlfriend so much. There's a free solo guy died too this week. Another, it's free solo guy died? Yeah, free solo climber dies after fall

into a volcanic crater. Yeah, no, that happened this week too. And there was the chick who died bunch of jumping, but they never attached the corridor. I think this is about the Gemini moon. Yeah. Is it in retrograde? Yeah, I think it's the Gemini moon. It's a bad moon for daredefels.

It is. I just think that there's, maybe there was a, like, bad ship of grippy socks? Do you think that there was like, there's like one systemic factor that might have led to all of this, like a carabina metal shortage?

Or like a, like, what's killing these guys? I mean, you know, just time, I think. Sketchy did have... It was time for a group of them to die at once. If you call yourself sketchy and you walk between sky rises on a string, you're going to die. You're going to die.

Eventually you're going to die. And I do think that is the point. I do think the point of it. is to eventually, like, that's the circus life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he holds Guinness Book World Records for walking a slack line above a waterfall in China. Okay. And he had a, previously, he beat his own

record after he did it in Las Vegas. Wow. Yeah, and so he performed stunts on at least three different continents. But why would they go over a big con, like a literal sizzling volcano? No, I think it was dormant. It was in Yemen. This is a different guy. Yemen.

Yeah, I know. I thought the same thing. I always do it. Yeah, I can't. Every single thing. Is that, I'm the only person that does it whenever they see the word Yemen. See, I'm more like... Yeah, man. Yeah, man.

Yeah, man. Mine's more like, yeah, man. Mine's a little chill. Yemen. Yemen. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, but, yeah, so he...

So, yeah, yeah. Fucking broken brains. That's what that is. Yeah, but, you know. Why did they all die at once? It's free... I don't know. It's just a coincidence that it all kind of happened at once.

But, you know, I feel like, though, that's almost good for the industry. Of course. If they all go at once, if it's like a big thing, it brings a lot of people back. Because I very rarely like, is there a mailing list for Daredevil stunts? I have no idea. I'm so far removed from the community. It couldn't be ridiculous. Well, like, why don't we get those?

I feel like these things should be advertised more. I'm like, why are we not being invited to more daredevil stuff? They should be on TV more. You know what it is? All right, so let's look like... Like, I feel like there's a local thing. Look at Sketchy real quick. Look at Andy Lewis.

Andy Sketchy Lewis. You know what it is? He's dressed like shit. Evil Knievel fucking came out. Beautiful suit. Made, nudie suit type of shit. You don't got a great helmet. You know that you're already walking down my street because I do believe it.

This guy's fucking dressed horribly. He's lazy. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's like take your time. Think about every aspect of the show. Dress the job. Dress for the job you want.

That's right. And he looks like he's dressed like a messy corpse. You should always look better than the audience. that's part of being a performer. I agree. I feel like if that's a thing that we've lost on the whole, and I do think that that might have led to, maybe if he took himself and his appearance more seriously,

he would have taken his job more seriously. Oh my God, nothing's worse than when you show up to see a fucking band and they're in shorts. Yeah, I mean, I'm furious. I've talked about this. I won't wear pants on stage. I was taught by that by, I was all that by high school. You wear pants on stage.

You only wear pants on stage. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you can't wear shorts. even in the hottest, most horrible conditions. You're giving people power. Yeah. If you wear shorts. It better be over 100 at an outdoor festival.

If you're wearing shorts as a performer, you're telling the audience, I'm not better than you. Yeah, heckle me. No, yeah, yeah, yeah. Disrespect me. That's what you're saying. Disrespect me. Here's my shins.

Yeah. Hey, don't you hate the top? Don't you want to see? Oh, great. It's Alice Cooper's socks. Yeah. That's what I want to see. But, you know.

No, honestly, it makes me... I'm sorry, sketchy died. Yes, it's not about that. I don't think it's not... Like, this is... If there is one subject in which... The Yemeni Spider-Man, I'm sorry, he died. Yes, well, that turns out he met the Yemeni Hobgoblin.

And you have to be careful when you meet these guys, these unregulated non-union supervillans. Like, they are out there, you know, these are just the knock-off supervillains from over here, and they don't have any rules. Yeah. You know what I think it might have been is... I'm noticing this, sketchy Andy Lewis. We're looking at his Instagram page, $411,000. I think the problem is,

this is, dare double shit has all gone to social media. It has. Evil Caneval had like crews. It was television show. People were making sure he wasn't going to die. People were making sure that the stunt was advertised correctly. It's almost like what you're illustrating is a point

that the central media tent poles are a useless, functionary money laundering system and probably wouldn't be the all and all and the most legitimate source to use for disclosure you'd think that maybe even that the

daredevils could teach somebody like Steven Spielberg that maybe Henry had a bad time with disclosure maybe they didn't need to go to a news station and all of this rigameral like you could have cut an hour and 15

minutes out of that fucking movie where they could have just posted a YouTube but it's fine. Yeah. But then they would have died like sketchy. You know, it's almost like there's an internet that's like freely available and that the guy that's the super hacker

that got the information to the first place. Are these spoilers? I don't think it matters. No. It's a popcorn movie. You know what the movie's about Disclosure Day. It's called Disclosure Day. Spoilers, if it's just a literally, Eddie, if I agree with you, if we want to take away any sort of the political importance or anything about the message, if we just strip that from the movie, you're right.

It is an absolutely fine 6.5 out of 10 action adventure movie you can take your grandmother to. Yeah, that's what I liked about it. That's what a lot of people like it. I like the Kaminsky of cinematography. It just feels like there's a thing that you could have done within that in which you could have maybe looked at a newspaper or or maybe like pulled your head out of your your ass i'm going to say in terms of uh the subject if you maybe say that you're one of those educated creators in all of the subject of uvology and you were stephen spillberg you'd think he might have a different view on

some stuff or he might have learned something about how the world works but it's fine he's just in his own crystal castle he is in a giant property he's in a giant crystal Castle in which he doesn't... He doesn't... He doesn't grocery shop. He doesn't fucking go to concerts. He doesn't see humans. He probably gets...

He probably just talks right to Robert Bigelow who's telling him fake things. It's the whole thing. We'll get to it. We'll save this. Are you in too deep with aliens that you can no longer enjoy stuff? You know what it is? That's not a slight.

I'm just curious. I wonder. I actually have been trying to parse out why I'm having such an intense reaction. And like, because I really didn't. A lot of people I feel like are talking like me where it's like, why can't I just like it's a Spielberg popcorn movie? Like what, what is wrong with me? And I think that the reason why is because it speaks to he's writing a movie for a bunch of, he's writing movie for a world that doesn't exist. Yeah.

It doesn't exist. We're literally in disclosure right now. It's like it's happening. It's like happening. But the footage sucks. Yes. And it's also. The problem is that it's it's not a fantasy.

It's not a fantasy. The United States government has already disclosed their stuff, guys. It's happened. You think that's everything? No, it's not even about that that's everything. Do you think they have footage of an actual being? No, I think that they had any of that they would have destroyed it a long time ago. Okay.

I don't think any of that would ever see the light of day. I think the best part of the Disclosure Day movie was his filming of the old, the old, like, lore parts. I thought that was the best stuff. I'm like, I'm like, I'm just going to love this. That's a movie I want to see is that stuff. Yeah. Versus this, like, if you want to see the incident, you don't want to see. Close Encounters of the Third Kind is what you want to watch.

Basically, I would just say to you, go watch Close Encounters of the Third Kind. It's the same fucking movie, but better. I think they're re-releasing it this year. Go see it, because it is the same movie with the same message about the same stuff, and it is done by somebody who actually lived a life amongst human beings. And Stephen Spielberg has just lost touch, and you just think for somebody that probably has access to more information than any one of us ever has ever had. I imagine he has access to people he could talk to anybody, and I feel like he still

served an extremely lukewarm, uh, uh, Coke vest. Yeah. That was not where we need the message to be right now. Mm. And that's the problem. It's just like, it's just a movie made by a guy that doesn't know. It seems like it's just made by a guy that has no idea. what's happening to the last 15 years.

He wanted to make a fun action movie. He did, he could have made it about anything. And I feel like that's my problem is that I feel like he could have just made an alien movie without making it this movie. He's made five alien movies so far, and I put this at number four. So do with that with what you will. What is number five? Indiana Jones and a Chris skull is God awful.

Yeah, I agree. It should be shot out of a cannon. Yeah, I agree. Is ET number one? Yes. I love ET with all of my heart. Close encounters. E.T.

I love Minority Report. That's not an alien movie. world. I love War of the World. Except for the end. Yes. War of the World. Probably would have been number one of that end. If that kid stayed dead. Yep. I would put it number one.

That's the whole thing. Also, the man who created fucking dinosaurs can't make a fucking... A remotely tangible alien costume. You didn't like the way it looked? It's CGI. Of course it's CGI. What do you mean? Of course it's CGI. I'm actually getting angry. I mean, of course, it's CGI.

He's legitimately like, what in the living fuck are we doing here? You're just, he lost that sauce a long time ago. Yeah, I just, like, looked at that and I was like, this is fucking garbage. All of the CGI's fucking garbage. It's so funny, because I looked at it, I saw the movie, I enjoyed it. I give it like it, but I also like, it's a B, you know, for me. It's not an A by any means, you know, like.

Oh, no, if you strip all of this context away from it, I'd call it a solid's B, B minus. Yeah, see, what I like about the movie is, are you ready for this? It's so basic. This is how low my bar has gone. It's not a fucking sequel. It's an original idea. that's a summer movie. And I'm giving my money to it just for that reason.

I totally understand. I just wish our bar wasn't this low right now, especially for our masters. Especially for the OG masters. And the fact that he... They're old. They need to slowly start fading out. Scorsese is doing better work than he's done in years. He's doing fucking incredible work.

Not the Irishman. I love the Irishman, except for the digital shit in it. Yeah, yeah. But it's like, what did you think about Martin Scorsese in Mando and Grogu? I thought he was hilarious. Does he suck his own dick in that as well? to just grog? No, he actually blows Groga. Whoa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he checks his ID. He checks his ID. I guess it's like, I've been trying. You want to know why, honestly. Let me just make sure that me. You know what, honesty, Eddie, is that my heart's been broken. And I find, you know what they say the most hardened cynic was

always the one that had his heart open the most. And I think it's because when I was a little boy, and I thought it when I was first engaging with the mystery of UFOs, and the idea of a government conspiracy and the idea of a cover-up, and all this other kind of stuff

was filled with a wonder for me, and was filled with this idea that life was more complicated than everybody was pitching it to me as it was versus the priests and shit. And I think that when I then watch this movie about what's really had, like, I guess there's a part of me that's like,

that's gone. Is it been a much better movie if it came out 20 years ago? Yes, when he wrote it, when he came up with the concept 30 years ago. I think that I am just one of those where I look at this. my heart breaks because that world doesn't exist.

Because the idea of everybody going like, oh, my God, there's aliens. When literally I just showed one of the preeminent drag queens in our country, literally the best footage that I have ever seen of a UFO. And we're all like, all right, that's where we're at. The where we're at is, is we can't even get the United States, the people of the United States government to punish our president of the United States who is a convicted rapist and a pedophile. And when we're at that level, I don't think that disclosure's fixing everything. Let's just say the aliens aren't going to, the complications brought about it, ain't going to fix it. And if they're fucking biological in nature, they're going to kill and eat us.

And they're lying to you. They're lying. The aliens are lying to us. If they're real, they tell everybody something different. If you believe in the secret war of the actual alien structure of the gun, government and you believe what they're like let's just say you really believe in that conspiracy theory if you actually look at it the aliens are telling everybody they meet something different so the aliens are lying or no one can understand them yes have you seen this picture that's

been going around this week it's not real talking to the nordics yes it's fake yeah it's not it's a it's an a i picture so even if the aliens are real they're lying we don't fit into their agenda, we have nothing to do with their agenda. If they have gotten here physically, it's because they're either running from something or they're running to something because they've ran out of resources. This is what's happening

guys. That's the reality. We're not, or we're zoo. And then great. Yeah. What do we fucking do about that? Fucking nothing. I just think that's a problem. Killed us by now. No, it's because we don't matter to them. We're ants. We're literally just whatever to them. We just kill ants all

the time. Yeah, but we also kill an accident. killing my aunts right now. But we don't mean. Like they don't, but just because it's like that, they literally, we just don't figure into their plans. We're just on a part, we have bigger ideas than us. And they couldn't fucking care. Couldn't care fucking less.

And then like, that's, that's why I get angry. It's because we're learning nothing from the phenomena. We're learning nothing. We don't understand that this is, it's just this, this whole thing. I think the real secret, the very real secret is what I've been saying all along, is that they've got stuff and they've been trying to make stuff out of it.

and they have no idea what it is and they've been maybe contacted by if it's again if all of this is real every single layer of it they've been they've talked to somebody who's told them something different I think that they are paralyzed I think the FBI and the CIA and all these various

fucking three letter institutions that are looking at all this shit are absolutely flabbergasted and don't know what to do and they don't know why it doesn't pay attention to us and they don't know how to make it pay attention to us and they don't know anything fucking about it. So then they

now we are in a truly malicious administration that is using this and weaponizing it against just humans. So like that's the problem. What if we're their reality show? I mean I think... What if they're like filming us for a documentary

kind of like how we make planet Earth? Or like that incredible show the paper on NBC. No I, yeah, it's very possible. Jerry Corbell says he's seen everything and there is real disclosure coming. From where?

I don't know. We're going to talk to him eventually. Oh, yeah. So we'll find out. But he did say that recently. If you show somebody an alien, they will not believe it. If you show, if you brought an alien, could you imagine an alien walking on to Bill Marr?

That's what that movie is. Disclosure Day to me is, I wonder if the alien be able to handle himself on Bill Maher's show with his political hot tics. Yeah, we seem pretty sick. Yeah, good. I had a great time Henry didn't use that information

but I will take this opportunity to plug movie stories our new show that is on Sirius It's an serious XM exclusive But it's also the video footage from that same show Is available on our Patreon So go check that out if you get a chance I think that's a good idea And also I want to say real quick

I went to go see The Death of Robin Hood last night at a sneak preview, A24 invited me, and I went and had a great time. It's fucking brutal. If you like a brutal-ass fucking movie, that's not the real story of Robin Hood. It's like their own story of Robin Hood. Go to see this fucking movie when it comes out. It's fucking brutal.

Lots of stabs. Fuck, yeah, dude. Yeah, yeah. Just no, we don't receive any money for these things. No, no, no. This is just me having a good time. Oh, I sat next to the director. Yeah?

Yeah, during the movie. It was the crazy. He also directed Pig, which I fucking love. And the whole time, I was just like, I was so nervous to react or not to react. actor or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then I left before the Q&A. I don't want to see. I didn't want to talk to him. But, yeah, no, but I remember just putting, oh, yeah, give him

a couple of those. So you like, you know, feel good about himself. He's like, yeah, good. That fat guy likes it. Great. Yeah, yeah, that's all I need. I need him. I need him. I need 40,000 more fat men. 100,000 more fat men. So if you're fat and you like to watch people get stabbed in the neck, check out death of Robin. Honestly? That is what I want to hear. That's exactly

what I like to hear. We have a great guest joining us. I can't wait to go through these stories. This person, like, honestly, I'm a huge fan of our guests. They are genuinely in delight, phony as fuck, evil as you want her to be. Put your ears on the headphones. I think that's, yeah.

You can clap at home if you want. Give it up for Alaska Thunderfuck. Five thousand. Live from your blade. So before we get into our MMA, update today, I want to ask you kind of, first of off, before we even get into it, what are your supplements, like, what are you on right now? And kind of like, I'd love to know what your weight routine is. I thought you were going to say, what are your pronouns? I was like,

wow, thank you for us. I literally thought by mine auto-completed that. You're on a straight man podcast. Okay, we talk about supplements. What are pronouns? Oh, my God. I saw a shirt. This is really inappropriate. I shouldn't say it. I'm going to say it.

No, it was just a place for us. There's a shirt that was like, oh, you like pronouns? Well, uh, let me she slash them titties. Yeah. Yeah, come on. Thank you. And honestly, I really appreciate being seen in that way. We're done.

We're done. I'm going to go. Okay. That was horrible. You take it. Take it down. Take it down the pipe, Eddie. Take it down the pipe?

Yeah. Well, we're joined here by Alaska Thunderfuck 5,000. You are an alien, a drag queen alien from the planet Glamtron. Disclosure. Thank you. Don't bring it up, I'mori angry. We're going to talk about it all about it. But you got a new song out called Revolution.

It's your first release in four years. Oh, my God. And it is, the whole album's coming out soon. And it's produced by the amazing Ash Gordon, friends of the show. Yes. She, Ash, did the song at the end of the Halloween album. Yes, they work with us, Ash Gordon, and we work with Isaac Hansen, and we created our song. We are the band, Mass for Trash.

Indeed. But Revolution is out now on all streaming platforms. If you want to listen to it in this moment, press pause, go to wherever you listen to music, listen to Revolution, enjoy it, put it on your playlist for June, and have a good time. Pause. Thank you. Done. Completed. Now we're back in.

It was really great. Thank you very much for me. So my supplements, you are asking me. Yes. I work out reluctantly. Well, we all have to. Yes. I walk.

I hate every second of it, but I do it. And then I drink like plant-based protein and then I have been drinking a little bit of like creatine with it. Same. It makes me feel bigger and stronger and wider. Yeah. It's probably just placebo powder, but I feel so fierce doing it. What was your reaction to the UFC fight?

Did it meet your expectation so that it was on the White House lawn this weekend? I don't, I didn't see it. I'd know nothing about it. What happened? You missed it? I believe it was, it was Vladimir Blancostunk versus Dustin Jimenez. I'm making up, I feel like that's the races that would be there.

And I feel like they fought each other. and then the man came out and yelled about Michelle Obama. I saw that and that made me upset. Oh, I heard about that. This is the equivalent of fuck it right in the pussy. Remember that? On the news. They'd be like, what do you think about this issue?

Fucker right, the pussy! But my question is, why fight? Why not hug? Why not kiss? Yeah, thank you. No, I don't know what's going on with that. The movie Idiocracy has become a documentary. We were talking about that.

But President, come on. He said the moral code. President Colacho is a better president than Trump. He literally listens to his advisors. He stops using the Gatorade. President Colacho learns and grows in the film. Now here on the White House lawn, we had a mechanical ball. Yeah, that was...

The audience was fighting each other? The audience fought each other many, many times. And the watch party for the UFC 250, You had the America 250, Trump's birthday, so on and so forth. It was held on the exact same place where Trump held the rally that led to the insurrection on January 6th. Oh, it's poetic. It is. I read someone one comment that I saw that was great.

Like, this event is going to be in the history books in a bad way. This is that we're going to show like this is the depths. Hopefully this is the furthest down we go. But from a lot of the, I guess, reports that I read from it, one guy said, I haven't felt this good about politics in a decade because it's just so ineffectual. It's so weird and nothing makes sense. Did you see the bald eagle on a chain? What? Yeah.

It's a bald eagle on a chain so it could fly around the audience and not leave. But not go away. He also gave away a gold coin with his face on it That's worth $12,000. Oh, my God. But can we also ask him? Why are his actions? Like, we're all in the House of Rue, right?

Why are his actions like a drag queen in many ways in terms of the way he can really press out some merch? And I think that that's... Girls, she can. And, like, where's your coin? He's... No, where's my coin? Yeah, your coin. This is, I feel like you guys can learn.

that available now on Alaska thunderfuck.com. I'm just but wait I am selling something wait yeah I'll take it it's because I am a drag queen this is what we do this is the Alaska Thunderfuck blue fuzzy bucket hat honestly it's really cute

that's honestly great wow this is the equivalent of my Trump gold coin yeah thank you this is my eagle on a chain airplane pillow I know yeah you could can you please bring an eagle to a chain on one of your live shows? I've been trying for years.

He meant to, like, you know, but we're in the house to ruin all that. One of my favorite Instagram guys right now is a dude who lip syncs Trump's speeches as a gay man and says that he was born to be a gay. And he does all, yeah, has all the, you know, what do you think about that? Like, because Trump so many times, like, this man is beautiful. He came out. Oh, my God. I was so, he was gorgeous.

Look with the muscles on this. I can believe how I just, I have to go now. Like, do you think that he channels that at all? He's just deeply disturbed. Like, I don't know what's going on with the gentleman. I just don't. But he smells really bad, I think. What's wrong with men?

That's a great question, then. I don't, I think it's unfair to generalize about all men. Like, there's a lot of, like, oh, men should die kind of narrative. And I actually don't believe that. I think there are good men. They're just not that fucking loud. Because the bad ones are really,

really loud. So, like, there's a lot of good men. They're just, like, shutting the fuck up and, like, not being annoyed. Yeah, but it's a problem. But they feel like on some point, they got to go beat up the other big loud men. How do you make nice, quiet men big other nice quiet men into big loud men,

but for good reasons? I don't want. I don't know. We just need like a specific virus that like takes out the wrong ones. You know what the problem is. Is that insane? No, no. Is that like, I shouldn't say that.

No, it's what Planet the Apes is all about. It is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, well, I just loves monkeys and he's just happy that all the men died and it's just monkeys left. Well, yeah, some of the smart guys. That's their problem. They just turned into people.

So speaking of turn into people. I had a quick question before we go too far. off of the I look at our president and I and I'm like this got to take a long time to get ready like with the makeup and the hair what do you think how long do you think it takes what are they using what do you notice what's wrong what's right I like to have two hours to like get into drag yeah and he probably I mean he it looks shoddily applied yeah like you look incredible Applied. Thank you. It was in my contract that you had to say that.

Yes. No, it's shot. It's approximately applied. And it's not good. The hair system is quite in depth, though. So that probably takes the longest. Plugs, you think? Well, he's on finished ride. We know that now.

On what? He's on like propitia. He's on like generalized propitia. So he's definitely. taking something for it and I know that they do pattern it but I do know that it is losing its strength does it yeah there's got to be some fakeness in there because yeah it doesn't seem like he would have a lot going on it's all pushed around and it's meshed into a sort of a big pile on top yeah and I've seen it in person once I did a bit for David letterman once and he was there and I watched him walk

into a room and he does smell like a garbage dump and he is about he is Probably 5 foot 11. And he goes through, I remember going through green room snacks. I wasn't allowed to be in the room. I was put where the garbage cans were. This is real. I was putting a hallway with a bunch of garbage cans so he could be alone in the room. And then I walked over.

And then they shoot me out even when I was, like, alone in the room. Because they said this is room for Mr. Trump. And Mr. Trump went in there and all he did was stick his hands and all the food. Like literally, like, pawed around all the food with his hands and then just left. Oh. Yeah. That's our president. That's why I voted him for,

Ford him four times. Four times. That's hard. Through my parents, through me, I have a little Mexican man that I threatened. There's so many ways to vote. Is there a drag queen that is a nightmare in the green room like that just touches all the stuff? Alyssa Edwards.

No. No. I think it's time for us to get some important news. Now, we were heard, so you're an alien, and we know that it's a part of your shtick bubble. We know that, right? We know. But you also are interested in the subject. Yeah.

Currently, we are in what you'd call the peak days of disclosure. It has already happened. We have already, the U.S. government has already unleashed every single thing that they already have. And guess what it is, Alaska? You said it right before we started recording. A dot. It's lots of dots. Moving dots.

Lots of moving dots. And it's lots of orbs. We love orbs here. Could be eye floaters. I get swimmies. Total thing. You get swimmies? Oh, yeah, all the time.

Yeah, I don't know where that started. I think it's just, I think it's fun to follow. It's wisdom. But I'd love to show you one or just, like, I want to get your take on, this is actual new footage. This came out several days ago. This was released as a part of the third gigantic release, which is part of why I don't I get angry about this new UFO stuff is because it's all leading towards fighting against undocumented

human beings. So they're doing a really, they're doing a really cute thing where they're tying humans and aliens together. Right. But I'll say, the guys that worked on my front yard, they don't have anything like this. So like, let's look at this. So this is a video that was seen, like, now we don't know what this is. They believe that this was filmed somewhere around the times.

Remember when we were dealing with all the Chinese balloons in 2023? Yeah, the ones going to Alaska. Yes. Hey. Hey. So this thing is like, there are a lot of people saying like, oh, this is not a balloon. It looks like a balloon. But they just exploded it, right?

So whatever it was, they blew it up. And then including other weird little orbs flying around. Now, this is not a part of the thing. I guess this may or may not be the thing we shot over Lake Huron. That is kind of what they're saying. right now that this might be the object that we shot and then we couldn't find the debris of.

Okay. Because it exploded into a bunch of million different pieces. Can I ask a stupid question? What's all the redacted stuff? Like, what is that? I think it's like there is a couple open penises. I'm already certain that's a line of first lady

vaginas. They have those just so that you know that you can't see it. That's a new seal. Yeah, yeah. Because Eleanor Roosevelt squatted on a bunch of stuff. Like do you, like where is your sense of wonder at right now, Alaska? In the toilet. That's a party balloon.

Next. What is that? You guys. Well, it's like, I don't know. And seriously, we're not fucking with you. Just close something good. There's got to be something good that's like, Remember alien autopsy?

Oh, it was awesome. Oh, bring that that. Disclose that. Listen, I want to see the show presidential autopsy. It'll be next. I mean, it'll be next year. But this one, okay, so this one's better. Okay, this is my problem. Alaska, this is the exact problem, is the fact that we don't know what we're doing with,

and they do look like several different things. That obviously, in my mind, yeah, of course it's a fucking balloon. But they're telling us it's not. But the way it blew up, there was like chunks of stuff. Yes. You know, balloons don't have chunks of stuff. That's true. The government is telling us straight up that's something we don't know what it is.

Yeah. What does that mean? The government has never lied. So I believe, I believe them completely. I've always felt very at home with the government. Yeah. Well, technically, you'd have to. Yes.

I'm forced to. I can't not. So this one, to be honest, is one of the more interesting ones I've ever seen, just because it's the first time I'm acting. You're actually going to see the movement of a UFO that they talk about in these reports. Okay. So this is an object that was filming. It's like right above the ocean. We know that it's solid because it can get a lock on it.

And then it goes up, right? It ramps up. And then boom. So that's what's weird. This is a thing. This is an example of UFO flight. that I have not seen on one of these videos, which they actually show the, in an instant, it disappears.

Like it noticed, is this like taken from a fighter jet, I'm thinking? Yes, it was being tracked out on the middle of the ocean because people see stuff out there all the time, apparently. Can you, okay, can you play it again? And can you put, hold on, wait for it. Can you put the Sonic the Hedgehog music on it? Because it looks like, do-da-da-d-d-d-do-d-do. It's going along.

It's like a really fun, like, arcade game is what it looks like. Yeah, no, that's fierce. Great. It is interesting. Yeah. How would, like, hardcore disclosure, like, how do you think it would affect you, like, genuinely? Do you think that it would change the way you view the world? Do you think you just keep doing what you were doing?

No. Yeah, I think we would just keep doing what we were doing. And I think that they are just like, oh, girl, we don't need to get in here all that. You know, like, sort of when, like, we are a mess. And they're like, just, you know, bless them, you know, bless their hearts. Do you think that there's any one scene that could bring them all together? Like the idea of, like, getting out there. Like, what's a good downtown city for the aliens to all?

meet together and like what's got a good scene out there what's got a fun nightlife what was the one in independence day where the people were like partying on the top of the roof was out of the LA capital records building yeah that yeah I would like to go there and I would be part of that party I think that would be fun yes yeah and I don't think they're going to just blow us up I think they're like they they want us to get better they're praying for us I mean but in prayers work are you scared to So you're not scared of aliens? No.

Either am I. Henry's deathly afraid of them. I personally believe if they are biological in nature, we should not be saying hello to them. Really? I think that if I partially believe that the phenomena is half psychic and that largely we're looking at an interdimensional thing. We're looking at something that we can't entirely collect evidence on because it's not entirely a part of our reality.

Have you heard that there are us from the future? Have you heard that one? That's my favorite one. Have you heard that Bigfoot is actually a time traveler from the future? And the Bigfoot suit is the time travel suit? Oh. Isn't that one? Not good.

But also, I like the idea, too. What if Bigfoot's Ghost of a Caveman? Why would it be all hairy? Why would it be all tall? What if it's just a ghost of a caveman? No, it's like, there's stuff like that. But then I do believe. It's not going to change my day to day, but it would be nice to write on my taxes like,

fuck you aliens, right? How would you write that on your tax? Big letters. Big paperworms, giant fill out all the print out all the paperwork writer and fuck you aliens. Fuck you. Yeah. I love that. I want to go to them.

I'm going to go straight to the source. I'm sick of the middleman. If they, if it moved, okay, this video, I'm still on this video. If it moves at the speed of light, then it would just go, it would just disappear because our vision is based on light. So that just like sped up a little bit. So it's probably just sound.

Would they believe it moves at the speed of gravity? And so the part of what they, if you believe the UFOs are a real machine, part of what they, the way they think they could work is they create what's called in front of them a gravity well, which is essentially an absence of gravity

in which then gravity, then they're pulled full. forward by this absence of gravity in front of them. So what they do is create this sort of, so they're moving at a, they're not like, that's why allows them to like not be fucked by inertia on the inside is where they're not splattered against the walls. They're being pulled instead of pushing. It's like Futurama.

It is. The Futurama ship, they're like, we actually don't go fast. We just move the whole universe around us that we stay still. It is literally, just watched that episode a few days ago. Yeah. And the smell is. Can we get that? Is that real? It's not, unfortunately. No, it's not real.

No, we wouldn't like that. I don't think we'd like a lot of the smells of the past. I think we'd be pretty unhappy with that. Smell what Pluto smells like. I am curious. Yeah, I don't know. Well, it smells like probably like blood. It's all made out of metal. Like what Dodge City smelled like. Yeah.

We got some other stories. We'll move on because I do want you to also. I want your take on this. Okay. Guy Fieri, first of all, let's just, oh, just your, First of all, like, I say the words Guy Fieri to you. What's your first response? Drag.

Yes. Great. Yeah. Perfect. He puts the, I always think that he puts the sunglasses on the back of his head so people get confused when they try to punch him in the face. I thought it was to discourage tiger attacks. Why do you put Guy Fierre like specifically in the drag category?

He's just got that look and there's, there's queens who do him. Really? And it's very effective. I think he's been done on Snatch Game. If he hasn't, he should be immediately. Has he been done on Snatch game? He should have been done on Snatch. Yeah.

He's an instantly recognizable look. And this is so necessary for television. So I'm, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I follow the works of Alster Crowley, Anton LeVay, all these types of, you. of people creating a silhouette and an image and how much that's more, makes you almost more powerful than like just yourself as a human.

Yeah, like a cartoon character. Yeah, and then it sends you, is that a thing that you purposely think about when you put together your character, or does it just kind of naturally come about that way? It has to come about not naturally and organically,

but then once it does, then you can like, okay, this is what I look like. Yeah, because you change, obviously, I've followed your career and you like,

really you've concreted yourself into this incredible form. I know. I'm known for wearing long blonde hair with a big blonde thing on top. And here I am in dark brown hair that doesn't have a thing on top. You contain multitudes. My image has been dismantled before you're very high. No! No one can recognize me.

All right. All right. Well, now this is this guy, right? Guy Fieri, he's got his show Diners, Drivers, and Dies. We've all seen it a million times. But the new theory going around the internet is, he ain't eating. This is true? Yeah, so it's like, there's lots, and then it seems

silly. But if the more you watch the show, and the more you see clips of the show, you start to see, he's not swallowing the food. And he might not even be biting the food. But he's not like he's thin. No. You would expect

if he wasn't eating the food, he'd be thin. Does he chew? Sometimes. Sometimes. We have some clips. Now, yeah, yeah, we have some clips. Can we show the clips? It is kind of wild to think that, like, I think that he might eat, he might eat something like giant eggs.

Like those characters from Super Mario, too. It's more like giant, like, swallows. Yeah, big burrow, yeah. It just swallows one egg a week like a snake. Yeah. Does he die his hair gray? Look at this. Look at this picture.

You can spot who he is and you can't even. see his whole thing. No, you're right. It's just forehead and hair. It's like, no one else but Guy Fieri. Yeah, but there's a new, as a YouTuber, Doc Spaghetti, he is on the case. He's been watching every episode of diners,

drive-ins, and dives, and pointing out the exact moments that look fake. He doesn't care what his father says. He watches Guy Fieri. All right, look at this. Okay, he bit. And he doesn't swallow. Watch. Well, he's buying. He's enjoying it. He's chewing. He's chewing.

Chewing. We don't know if there's any anything in there. Cut. Cut. All right. Now, watch the bite again. Watch the bite again. He doesn't actually bite.

Now, here, that... What? Yeah, watch this. It's all stay. It didn't bite anything. It was already bit. It was already bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

He fucking did that fucking phantom bite. It's a mind bite. Yeah. There's nothing going on. He rubbed his face against the sandwich. He didn't put anything in his mouth. He's eating its pussy. All right.

And I... Actually, Alaska, you are actually unique. qualified to comment on this because you've been on a lot of reality TV. You've read two seasons of drag race and you know a lot of things

have to be re-shot, you know, moments have to be recreated. Do you think that they're just recreating a moment for like a better angle? This is, this is, I do know about this because that's like lip-sinking, but it's lip-sync eating. Yes, it is lip-sink eating.

This is very golden girl. to always, Blanche would always do this because you can't sit there and eat the thing because you have to stay our line so she'd be like, oh, oh, hello girls. So it's lipstick eating. And that's what she's doing.

But, you know, she never smallows. I mean, look at this. So they also show this thing too where he does this move, which I've seen him do, where he fakes it, where he starts with it up by, he takes it. up from the top, right? He's taking it with the chopsticks,

and then it cuts to him just having it. There's nothing in the chopsticks. There's something in the chopsticks. No, what are they doing? He's not eaten. So here's the thing, though. I love it. You're going to five diners a day.

You've got to fake a couple, right? Yeah. But then there's a part of me. You can't eat all of it. But at what point? He'd be dead if he ate all of it. But if you're fat, you're fat fuck royalty, right? You're a Joey chestnut.

You're fat fuck royalty. He eats everything. We know he does. But I'm just saying. like if you're fat fuck royalty to me you need to be eating like jelly roll is a grace trader to his fat

fuck world that's why he's getting divorced exactly I think the I honestly think he lost the weight and that and she fell out of love with him yeah that's exactly what happened she was like I'm not living for the I don't want him his name is jelly roll not Mr. Sticks

okay your job is to be a fat fuck and so his guy's fear his job is to be a fat fuck Yeah. How are you going to sell donkey sauce knowing that we know you don't eat? Would you believe a word

Guy Fierry said if you found out he owned an elliptical? I think it's like in adult films. This is like... You're saying they don't eat? No. You know how they're like, I don't... This is like a...

a gay thing. Like, I'm not going to bottom. Like, I'm not, I'm just a top. And so then when they finally do bottom, it's like a big event. And so this is like that. So like when he actually does eat, it's going to be a, it's going to be a major newsday. Oh my God. He's saving it. We should do it on a, he should do a live stream for charity. Yes. I, Guy Fietti, am actually going to eat today. on the White House lawn Every time he eats We pay enough money

To get one immigration lawyer To release one person From being held in an ice detainment center And I honestly think that's a really good way To aim that Let's do it God All right

If nobody wants to bottom Then who's bottoming the whole time Well there are plenty of us Okay Out there There's There is no, no, this is the thing. There's a top shortage.

What does that mean? I love that you're asking this because in the gay community is well known that everyone at the bottom at all time. And the bottoms have a really hard time finding tops. And so they find one and it's like, you know, we struck gold. And then do you then, is he then given to the community, to the bottom community? Yes, he does his service. And then he realizes that he's the bottom.

And this is a certain. of gay life I'm glad I could share it with you. Is it just more fun to be and more relaxing to be a bottom? Is it just more just like easy going and just like one of those where is your life just funner that way

and just more, you know, like, they love that. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard. They just can't get enough. I saw it in a magazine. I saw it in several very long magazines.

All right, here we go. So this is actually a really good way. The good thing to end on. Actually, yeah, because this guy would be a great top, but he's dead. I don't know if he would. Dead tops are the best. Okay, here we go. So this guy, this lucky dead human being, old British man from the 78-year-old, 78 years young, he's dead.

He donated his body to science because they found out he had three penises. and he had three penis He had a top P, he had a main... Yeah, the outside penis. Outside penises. Yeah. But in his balls

were two more penises. Two tiny penises just hiding. Just hiding. And we have no idea if he knew that he had three penises or if he lived his entire 70-year-old life. Never knowing that he had three penises.

Well, they said they would have found out if they ever had to give him a catheter. Sure. Because one of the, because the one of the, Because the one of the penises, the pee was connected, went through one penis and then into the outside penis and then out the front door. I remember they called his urethra torturous. Yeah. Torturous urethra.

So outside penis, three inches, three inches long. This is honestly really humiliating if they did this to him too. They measure all the penises. Yeah, second penis, 1.49 inches long. And the third penis is 1.45 inches long. So you put them together, it's nice cock. Yeah, all together, that's one penis. It's the hard or soft measurement.

It's going to be soft because he's dead. Well, Vigomartis. Hey, I would pull it tight. If I was there, I'd pull it as long as I could pull it. Measure from the taint. When I'm dead and you're measuring my dead penis, please pull it. Why? Nobody measures.

I measure mine from the bottom of my pocket. Yeah, yeah, that's what I do. I do a whole thing. It's a whole presentation. It's a whole. I put together stack. Yeah. Yeah.

But like, what's the weirdest penis you've ever seen? That's not the word of it. What's the weirdest penis you've ever seen? Why not? I'm trying to think. Have you ever been to a place called Epstein Island? Actually, I haven't been on it, but I was really near it, like, recently. Oh, do you go on, like, the sister island?

The one that's, like, the neighbor island? St. John, St. Thomas. St. Thomas. My mom was like, my friend has a place in St. Thomas. So I'm going. Do you want to go? And I was like, yeah. So I went with my mom and literally out the back like patio. There it was.

Actual Epstein ass island was like right there. Like you could have rowboated to it. Yes. Jet ski is what they use. Right. They've like revamped it. They've tried to make, they took like the gold thing, like the blue and white thing. They've like painted it.

just like beige. And they took the gold, like, satanic pyramid off. And so they're like, maybe no one will know. Maybe he'll know. It was really scary. The project of you jet skiing to Epstein Island from St. Thomas' alone. I have to push this. I have to pitch this to you and to a group of producers.

We have got to do an island adventure. We've got to go. You could be the first drag queen to ever go to Epstein Island. I know. And I won't eat. I won't. But that's a problem,

Neil. Man walking around with three penises. And he can't tell anybody and he doesn't know. And you know he's just some fucking weird man. You know he's just some gross, weird old British man. He's like,

oh, top's and totally. You know, like, it was kind enough to donated his body to science knowing that he had three cocks. He donated three dicks. He didn't even know though. He probably literally never, I wouldn't know if I had three

dicks in my balls. Yeah. In my balls! Just his balls hurt his whole life. Apparently he had lots of, he had a hernia too. It was his third dick getting hard. That's what it is. It's this little tiny dick responding to

everything on the inside. It's probably the one making all the bad decisions. Right. Indoor dick, outdoor dick. If I had an indoor dick, that he would be, because my outdoor dick has already filled with horrific thoughts and horrible energy.

And the little penis behind him, can you imagine the Stephen Miller? Oh, penis is like the evil. The dick chaney of your main penis is in your other balls. God. Yeah. Give it a vance.

I can't All right So I got to ask this question We were talking about this On the last episode of side stories I need your opinion as a fashion icon Okay Handelbar mustache

Where do you lie? Love it You love it Fierce Really Fashionable 30 Very like

Very like pride Like 70s Kind of This lady was telling us A story Because what I said I appreciate men that have a handlebar mustache

is because I've also had difficult man facial hair before. And I find it takes to, from my perspective, it's a guy that has put a handlebar mustache in order to sort of like, be like, hey, hit me. Hey, someone come punch me. You know what I mean? Like, oh, someone come, everybody

gather around, doesn't anybody want to hit me? And I now realize that that's not true because I got a lot of messages from women that have said that specifically they hand up all mustache makes them feel safe. And then also one woman was saying that she was riding a man with a handlebar mustache and she said that it was the only time she's ever been asked to grab the bars of the mustache with her handlebars and pull them while she was

fucking them which i've never have you ever done that i can honestly say i've never done that right no uh see okay see i never thought of i never thought of it that way is that why it's called a handlebar i guess so i don't think it's supposed to I don't think your lip is that strong. But does the handlebar mustache have different connotations in the gay and straight communities? Absolutely. So, yeah, because like a straight guy with the handlebar mustache. That's like a whole different story.

That's what I'm talking about. Yeah, like I'm vintage. It's like very cute. He's fun. Yeah, you were talking about IPA salesman. Yeah, it's different type of leather work. Yeah, yeah. I'm talking about a guy and a lot of like, what, you know, they've got those, the light bulbs with just sort of the copper wire.

wearing around them. Uh-huh. Yeah, Edison. A gastro pub. Yes, very. Yes. Very much so. A top of the handlebar of your mustache, useless.

Totally useless. Useless. What are you doing with it up there? I don't know. She said the main problem was, she said that where she started to kind of like get out of it was like the snap of it. She said that when she took it in the, like the snap of the product in his little tips, that kind of bumped her out of the whole experience. Oh.

I wonder if it gets really cold if it could snap off. Yeah, it can. Wow. That's how you get gum out of hair. Oh, cold? Yeah, you freeze it. Oh, no shit. Really?

Or you freeze it and then you beat it with a hammer, or you put peanut butter on it. Just thinking of a Simpsons episode. Don't try getting it out with a bone. It only gets one. You're thinking of 22 short films about Springfield, yep. Is it? So wait, a handlebar?

That's a handlebar most sash. I was thinking of this. Of the Foo Manchu. I was thinking of a totally different thing. Yeah, you're thinking of a more masculine. Foo Manchu is awesome and fierce. See, I was thinking of the wrong thing. See, I was saying to replace the handlebar with the Foo Manchu.

If you have to put wax, no, I don't care. No, I don't want it. The horseshoe? That's just people wanting, I understand Foo Manchu. as it is not societally correct anymore. Foo woman, chew. Thank you. It's like attached.

Yeah. But like a handlebar has the like doopsie doopsie do. And I had that. I did the mustache just connected to the sideburns for a while. But I was trying to be unfuckable. Yeah. Like that was the thing. I was trying to, I didn't want the attention to women at the time because I thought the

imperial, I had the imperial. And I thought that was really cool for a while. and I didn't care what happened. But you know, it's funny. That's how I ended up with my ex-girlfriend. Yeah, that's you, that was your Confederate reenact her face. It's just because I'm a Queens boy

and I just want to feel what it's like to be a rebel. Never got to be. Well, it was, this was wonderful. This is awesome. Thank you so much, Alaska for coming by. Make sure you go. To toss the song. Listen to Revolution by Alaska Thunderfuck 5,000.

It's unbelievable. It's on Spotify. Apple music, add it to all your summer playlist. It's fucking awesome. It's all about serving, cunt, and starting a goddamn revolution. Period. It's something we need to do. Yes. We do. Oh, and you get any shows coming up?

He has like 100 because it's June. And in June, it is Christmas and I am Santa Claus. So I'm going everywhere. That's October for us. Yes, that's our October time. So what is your, like, is there a good place for people to see like where all your dates are? My website,

Alaska Thunderfuck.com, where You can also get this exciting hat. Please buy the hat. I'm going to buy that hat. As a pothead, I have to ask, what happened to Alaska Thunderfuck the marijuana? It's gone. It's still out there. It is?

Okay, good. Sometimes people gift it to me and then my fiancé smokes it's great. It does exist. All right, right. Because we were in Alaska recently at a weed store and I was screaming about it. And then they were like, it doesn't make it anymore. No one makes it anymore. Damn.

It does exist. And they make vapes of it. They've seen nice. Well, thank you so much for coming by. Seriously, so much. Yeah. Seriously, thank you. This is fucking awesome.

Thank you. Happy pride, y'all. God, it feels good to, like, know somebody who knows something else about something else than what we know about. I feel slightly cooler now. I admit, I do feel cooler now than I did this morning. I'm trying to figure out how to be more approachable to the all. scenes. Yeah. Do you think today worked? No.

It was nice having Marcus in here. Honestly, it was really nice. We have two special guests as far as I'm concerned. Marcus is a huge fan of Alaska, and it was just great to have. I'm glad that they're super quick with it. I love like all, you know, I love it. Because you know what I feel like in drag, that's like the last bastion of like the triple threat. Yeah. You know, like old school real showbiz. Like look at Jinks Monsoon. Jigs Monson's winning like Tonys and shit. Like Jans's Judy Garland right now.

I went and saw O'Mary with Jinks. It was fucking incredible. I know. It's like that's amazing. It's like one of those things. I love seeing like that it was like you've got to do a lot of shit. It's mainstream now. It's very cool. Yeah, I love it. It's very awesome. It's full on mainstream now and I fucking love it and I'm all about it.

And please keep dressing up and doing crazy shit. You know, keep it going forever. We have to because it's a part of the human need to express themselves and I just think that it is just beautiful and I'll owe and I'll want to remind everybody there is not a

single drag queen on the Epstein list not even one not even one not even one no it's just a bunch of guys a lot of money makes you pedophile yeah hmm interesting I don't know why that is well guess what folks

we're on the road yeah we got London Ontario coming up fucking sold out sold out get we to be there and you and go to the Patreon.com slash last by guest and left, and you can listen to all the episodes ad-free. You can also see last stream on the left live every Tuesday 5 p.m. PST. Can you also check out our new Brighterside YouTube channel, The Brighterside, LPN? That's YouTube.com slash at the

brighter side LPN. And go to LPN TV to watch our, the conclusion in the entire series of HGX2. HGX2. Who will live? Who will die? Who will live? Who will live? Who will live? live in nothing forever. Is LD cool? Are they bad? We don't know. We don't know. Also, we have a nerdamouth

has a new YouTube channel. Yes. It's a nerdamouth podcast. So it's YouTube.com slash at nerdamouth podcast. If we are testing the limits of the YouTube camera, will it be able to handle Mike Lawrence, Jake Young, and Holden McNeely's vision of them all at once? Wait.

That's the thing. That's a huge. nerds are going to have to sit with. Man, I'm so, like, honestly, it's like, you're going to watch that show. You're going to be like, Ed and Henry are, like, attractive. Ha! But that's why, man, we get you used to it. We'll come on in, the water is fine.

Go to healthy on the left for all your Instagram needs. And go to, uh, yeah, go to Last Podcast, left.com, buy tickets to see us left. Yeah, man, edictunes.com to see me do stand up. Go check out my Instagram. Of course, I'm Eddie Tunes on Instagram to see where I'm coming. I just put a brand new tour poster up. So check that out, see if I'm coming to a city near you, and go in comment and tell me where I should go after this.

Seems like Nashville and Baltimore. Very hungry for it. But yeah, well, I can't wait. I'm having a great time on the road. And then Henry's actually going to be joining me for my two LA shows that are on there. So, uh, Come check us out. It's going to be a fucking blast.

Yeah, we're having a good time. All right. See, fuckers. Yeah. Hell Satan. Hail, uh, hmm. You know what? Hell Alaska.

Thunderfuck. thousand what a goddamn delay what a delay I feel great