Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Eunuch Maker

Episode Date: October 29, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: two cannibals are performing castrations, Keith Raniere goes to prison for life, flying squirrel poachers, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side stories You know It's Halloween week. It's coming. It's Halloween week. I'm so excited. I wanted to get good and spooky I know you always do buddy. I always do and so this week You know, I'd really recommend for you if you want to feel really spooky call your parents The ghosts of what could have been my dad died 17 years ago, Ben. I'm sorry Go ahead go on a Google. Mm-hmm. Hey go on a bing Whoa, that's got to venturing out into the unknown and um see how spooked you get and just how

It is to um type in the words the eunuch make That's fun. Is that someone who makes dolls and sells them on Etsy? That's kind of like a great things like an angel. You love eunuchs. Are you mmm? Yes, a eunuch is someone who is I want to see the actual Definition before I find out eunuchs definition. Okay, is a man who has been castrated specifically in the past One employed to guard the women's living areas of an oriental court. Well, that's not bad I don't know a ballless soldier. That's great, but stay focused Um, this is honestly if you would remove the testicles of all Soldiers, they have nothing else to think about but fighting. They're angry because they lost their balls

So I might be happy and go for them. I actually think it's the opposite. I think it should be only gay men fighting Well, of course, we've always said that but then of course now you're just recruiting the gay people and forcing them to fight What if they don't want to and now it's very problematic? You understand how that could be an issue? Let's get back to I'm actually a really safe topic And if you just look up the eunuch maker, I'm gonna tell you right now. It's not like a salad spinner. It's not no It why did you even find the eunuch maker? We'll get into the story Immediately But there's nothing quite like seeing a thin young man Lift the shaft of his penis to show the cat butt hole style scar of where his testicles used to be

Hey, man, you have well, I have two male dogs. I'm well-versed in the eunuch eunuch agaization eunuch agaization. So you're the eunuch maker of the dogs Absolutely, perhaps every vet out there is the eunuch maker. No, you need to I would isolate that sound clip where I said so you're the eunuch maker and he says I am No, you did not watch the end of a fricking prices, right Bob Barker get your dog get your animal spayed and neutered What do you think that means he's making the eunuch and he hasn't had sex with a woman with eggs since he was alive Well, he hasn't had woman. That's not his employee for a long time. All right, everyone. Welcome to side stories I am Ben kissle. We are in with Henry Zabrowski. It's Bob Barker dead Bob Barker. No, he's not dead. What I hope not

I love the bark. Let's go kill him. Absolutely not I'm sure you can see him on one of these Hollywood tours that I finally had a chance to see where people look out of What seems to be a Wisconsin dell's duck boat that could go on water It looks like one of those aqua cars But it's not and they stop and they stare at buildings and then somebody says That's that's where Patton Oswald lives. You are looking at our future drops is what you're looking at what being in the back Of that. All right, everyone watching where all the celebrities live. Well before we get to the eunuch store We do have a lot to talk about today. We have an update. I'm sure everyone has heard this now

Keith Ranieri the the most pathetic Christ-like character since Jesus himself. Yep the Smurf Jesus He is such a toad chode and dare I say his new abode will certainly be humble He has been sentenced to a hundred and twenty years behind bars That is of course as of this this Tuesday, but he said he's going to swing it He's not gonna let anybody he still believes in his message And I wonder if he will find a place in jail Oh, you will have several people looking for advice for him like same thing Bernie made off as doing people's taxes in jail Shit like that happens. So I imagine he will have a nice pint-sized cult leader like coal that he can fill while on the slammer

Well, I do know that people who are incarcerated Don't take kindly to people who have been sentenced for having sex with 15 year olds or for participating in sex trafficking Racketeering or child porn charges. Oh, I imagine this could really go the other way for him, too I imagine he is going to be Involved in a game of midnight volleyball where he's the ball and it won't be particularly fun No, so that is the conclusion as of now of now because Ali Mack I don't think she has she been sentenced yet. She has been exercising her She's been flipping and flipping and flipping like she's an Olympic athlete looking up right now if she's been sentenced

I believe she may have plea-dealed out if convicted. No, she right now. She is still in she's still waiting Sentencing so if she is convicted she will get a minimum of 15 years and of course that is where the the home in which the brand-in Occurred But there's also a season 2 and I really don't know what they can talk about You know what actually makes me truly like I'm triggered. You know why? Yeah, it's because not the unit conversation. This is what does it know the unit conversations This is yummy

This is just gonna be you upset that you didn't get the TV deal to fill that slot, right? Yeah, okay, but the idea that these people all of these failed actors and failed artists joined nexium that are Voluntarily and their whole thing was they were trying to use it to get success in Acting instead they just became employees of the cult that they voluntarily joined and then they got their posters branded And now what you were seeing is not only do they get the television show that they wanted But they just got fucking renewed every single one of them got a they have a better acting job as an ex cult member Then they ever did as a present cult member That is why I've said it from the beginning mark is the true cult leader and Keith Reneary obviously a complete scumbag

This is what he had to say. He says I do believe strongly that I'm innocent of the charges Wait, can I read it in here? Let me let me see the quote. Let me let me do it correct. I Do believe strongly then I'm innocent of the charges, but it's also true I see all of this pain They're lying for a reason and that reason stems from me I do feel remorse, but I do not feel remorseful for the crimes. I didn't commit This is the worst day to be a judge you can see his eyes bulging like he's on the planet Mars And he's just broken through a window. It's like, what are you saying? He's still saying word salad exactly. All right

Well speaking of salad, let's get to the story that Henry Literally as soon as I saw him today began ranting about so we have to cover it. It's eunuch-based and So let's let's you unique news unique news This story It got sent to us quite a bit and it happened right on Wednesday afternoon last week Which is how it always happens the favorite story of the week gets dropped as soon as we drop our episode this story is Special and you want to know you want to know why it's special why because at the center of it There's a beautiful love story. I thought you're gonna say a set of balls. No

Those balls were food Listen to this dinner at the nothing but trouble mansion look at I'm just Sometimes the story comes along. It's just so special I don't like how you're happy about this story because I'm reading it as we're talking and it is not I'm gonna why I'm just interested in to see I want to know why you smile Smile look at this mild this young couple in love and I'm I'm reflecting the same joy This comes from a website called the lost ogle and I'm not quite certain again I'm not gonna speak towards the rest of it. Oh, it's on the website

But I have to read the headline and we're gonna get into the details Cannibalistic black market castrators arrested in eastern Oklahoma. Oh, no, well to be fair I don't think you're allowed to have Castration businesses on the up and up. It's kind of got to be black market. It's gonna be done What do you think's gonna happen when the outlaw abortions? We're gonna have a lot of guys who are just making feed his soup It's just so excited for all the new ingredients that they got locally sourced. Oh, really a perfect understanding of the issues Rolling through why didn't you why didn't you get to interview Amy Coney Barrett?

So what are when they're gonna make the soup on a baby and then sir you have got to leave the state house Speak so this is I'm now gonna jump to daily mail calm the one of the best again The other most reputable site if you want crisp news go to the Daily Mail They'll let you know if there's not enough crisps in your bag to two cannibals who lured Virginia man 28 to their Oklahoma Cabin and performed an illegal castration offered their services online as quote-unquote Unic makers well, it's interesting. You say the word illegal. I think the word free is the word to you Didn't charge no, no, no, I'm kind of here for it. Well If they would have charged him an arm and a leg

Yeah, that would have been crazy. I'll save it for Samantha B. Save it for your packet To self-described cannibals. Thank God they described that's our pronoun. It's kind of great Who offered their services online as a Unic maker and kept body parts and a refrigerator removed the testicles Of a 28-year-old the Virginia resident as part of an illegally conducted gender reassignment surgery Okay, Bob Lee Allen 53 who sort of looks like Santa Claus Oh kind of does indeed and his partner Thomas Evans gates 42 were arrested by LaFleur County Sheriff's deputies and are charged on Wednesday with conspiracy to commit unlicensed surgery Performing unlicensed surgery maiming and salt and battery with the dangerous weapons. So essentially, okay

They found this guy online, but he really 13th. He did want to have gender reassignment surgery He asked for this okay, October 13th a 28-year-old man walked into McAllister Regional Health Center in Southeastern, Oklahoma Where medical officials noticed he was severely bleeding after his testicles were surgically removed the day before huh? The man told hospital officials that he was castrated in a remote cabin in the woods by Allen who told him he was a cool Laughed literally laughed when he was a self-described cannibal who kept body parts and a refrigerator So they kept the parts in the freezer This is all done in the cabin in the woods and again folks You just not you're not gonna get a good surgery if you have to drive and your GPS goes off

And your phone doesn't work and it is the beginning of a horror film turn back Go to Cedar Sinai go to Cedar Sinai You're gonna have to pay out of pocket, but you're gonna get what you pay for the dress say it should be covered I believe it definitely should be covered the 28-year-old victim had flown from Virginia to Dallas And then was driven to the cabin in Southeast, Oklahoma for the surgery by Allen the guy picked them up at the web Picked them up at the airport. That's kind of nice. What that is nice. That's door-to-door white glove Yeah, but then the gloves become red oh with blood Yep, and they went they put him on a table where they tied his nuts and then surgically cut them

Okay, when you say surgically cut them is this like the movie hostile that Eli Roth cast somebody to make the to make all of the equipment Like what are we talking? We're talking fiskers scissors here legitimately Allen again Looking sort of the only way to describe him is that the he is just your friendly neighborhood castrator Mmm, and his boy his husband. Yeah, his husband was attending the surgery and gave him tools like a scalpel and shit The whole area was numbed Locally where he's they hit it with a bunch of fucking needles made the whole area numb Oh, I thought I just showed it social media and then it numbed itself Again the kissel you are too on the cutting edge today

Speaking of cutting edge. Let's get back to this story. So why are you? Why are you even on the show? You're wasting your talent here, buddy? I don't know. I'm not I'm surprised. You're not getting burned buddy. I'm on fire So he went he has this groupie basically. He was known as the eunuch maker. Okay, hold on What do you mean? He was known as the eunuch maker? That was what his website was called. Okay, so he applied to it Okay, cut off the balls the asthma circle. What are you gonna do with the balls? He's gonna say? He laughed and he said I'm gonna consume the parts because he was a cannibal Oh, he wants to eat the balls. Yes. And so now it comes down to what are the list of crimes here according to one This is what I love is this quote from another one of the arresting officers on the site

Which you say the sheriff said I can't say it's cult activity It is something that we have never in my career run across in this part of the country. It's a it's a borderline Some type of activity we know that there's a lot of rumors out there But at this time there's no danger to the public. It is indeed a borderline some type of activity I do want to say I think the sheriff was really going out of his way to be politically correct And I give him props for that It's a borderline some type of activity It's like you trying to explain your gay son to your brother and you're just like yeah

It's a borderline some type of activity that they're doing he and Barry. They're getting along as a borderline some type of activity Yeah, it's you're you are trying to explain to your your friends that your son is a professional tick-tock artist But this is the question then here is yes, you're a foodie And as we know I was tricked at cattlemen's in Oklahoma speaking of the devil and I was I was tricked into eating I believe lymph noise or testicles or something else. Yeah, something. I didn't want to eat delicious Do you deep fry these balls and you only have two of them? So if you mess this up if you are done, but I you're gone

I hope that you can see this so first of all look at this wonderful picture of Alan and his husband You're here at dinner and in a suit. He looks kind of like oh My goodness the very famous producer Reiner Rob Reiner does a little bit like Rob Reiner and Rob Reiner must love to hear that He has this so this is them in their target little Christmas suits. Isn't that cute with a Christmas Santa Claus chipmunk I guess you know and this cabin actually was also available to be rented where they committed castrations They said they had six coming up and they've done

15 castrations in this little cabin Okay, it was on a thing called mr. B&B Which was a home-sharing service for the LGBTQ community so you could rent it well I do like that. Okay. My question is true talk Was this surgery just not possible to get anywhere else or was it just at such a discount where the this is like I mean if you go like one layer date, you're like this this has to do with health care doesn't it it does and it's like So I made my dumb shit thing about the idea of what happens when everything's illegal Then do you have to are we gonna have to see Alan or we gonna have to go see cuz he won't even don't call him

Doctor Alan because that's his father's name or the 15 people previous. Are they happy? With I don't know. Okay. The key here is the cannibalism. Oh Okay, all right, that's what we're gonna focus the main difference. We all agree and you want to lose your nuts You lose those nuts. I can get those you want to lose your boobs. I can get those boobs off You wouldn't find you a guy get rid of them. Okay, you don't want them I don't give a shit It's more about the idea that they would go and they would then turn I'm trying to find this doctor Are you telling me sometimes a doctor at Cedar Sinai done doesn't dip into the old

The old red box there the old toxic human biological Tissued box. I think all of us is just a collection of meat every time I've met a surgeon They're always they can be nice But mostly they're just looking and thinking about how they want to carve you up and they look at y'all different Don't that the main thing that was really concerning is this sausage machine now if you see here This is legitimately a sausage machine with dicks and balls in it Okay, hold on a second. So they make it into they're making it into not in dick sausage To be consumed. That's how they're eating because it why in my mind is it more interesting to saute it

where this well, then you think about that they spiced it and ground it up And now they made it into a bunch of tubules. I'm just gonna say this then why don't you just call it? Testicle sausage not put the balls in there. You won't even be able to tell a sausage Then you're just lying to yourself Yeah, but that's so much better than castwriting somebody who then has to go to the hospital because they're bleeding for you a bunch from near There are you it's no different for them. It's the exact thing that they love the absolute most What's the thing you love the most? Sausage. Do you say sausage is your favorite thing?

What's your favorite thing in the world like truly? What's your favorite thing in the world? Yes It's the idea of being happy. No, no, not something you'll never achieve not something okay Okay, what is something that you can do that you physically do that you love like a tangible? Maybe a little bit more superficial thing. Yes, I love Getting in my car on a beautiful day. Yeah going to sit in a dark casino Mm-hmm watching people cry. Yep. These guys like cutting the nuts off of screaming Men that they've met online. They love that's what they love. They love the most

It seems like it's on their faces Look at the smile on his face. Well, you see these little pictures of them They have more loving pictures together than Melania and Trump. Well, they really do look at this picture of them at six flags I'm looking at it now. And you know what? I will say it's the overalls to trouble me that Alan is wearing here I'm the only to describe it here is that Alan is wearing a Overalls so he looks again. He looks very folksy. He looks like he just got done Selenia at a rock and chair at a cracker barrel. Absolutely And then he is wearing some form of reddit wolf howling at a moon shirt

Just kind of fun in animal print, of course for everyone everyone knows at the age of 50 all men have to Just wear shirts with animal prints on them know the name know what day of the week it is because of which animal They're wearing be like, oh, I'm wearing a wolf must be Wolfie Wednesdays. Yep, pterodactyl Thursdays It really helps when it comes to the ever. Oh, and he's dawning Mental collapse thing the victim said that his big thing the reason why he ended up being upset with them Right was that they try to get him to eat balls Oh, but he didn't want to eat the ball. No, he just because honestly he wanted nothing to do with boss He wanted the most of them as fast as you will all right

Well, think about how much you want to get rid of your balls that you're willing to go to a shack and Oklahoma to get rid of them. I understand they are you mean to be fair How horny that a man can become look at the old tuban I meant to bin wishes that he was down if I can go home I can just balls removed. I'm happy that you are working that Toobin bit out as long as he was working it out himself You are taking that you're stretching it and I love that. I hope he never works again Don't know if you will it's not the biggest thing on earth at least judge him from the people who saw it Okay, I'm jerking

I'm taking this whole show and I am sending it to go bear said it to NPR like I did round table a gentleman They're gonna love it LBGT Q the community in Oklahoma I'm assuming they have an uphill fight and I can say that these people probably did not help no and so I do apologize for that Absolutely, I don't know and I think that there are absolutely Normal members of the LGBTQ community. I believe without it out that they are just normal Wearing cowboy hats running businesses not eating dick sausages. No, and I got to say to you guys hats off Florida wildlife investigators they went undercover and they uncovered a flying squirrel trafficking ring

Can you believe this? Can you believe this so these are flying squirrels? These are Unbelievable, you know you've seen a flying squirrel the way it kind of glides. It's more. It's more. Yeah, they don't fly They don't have wings they glide so they're more gliding. Yeah, but any small animal can glide if you throw out the window your car No, they literally have skin flaps that allow them to glide like it's a bodysuit not any animal can if you throw a lizard out of your Fricking car. I mean honestly a lot of them Lizard out of your car The Wendy's gonna is gonna glide well Wendy's too big. I'm talking about under five pounds. Okay?

Well, it's because you know spiders and ants they're unable to fall to their own deaths Really? Yeah What? Mm-hmm. If I dropped an ant off the Empire State Building doesn't land. It's just land. It's just lands. Really? Yeah You're saying that no I could say whatever oh my god, you're a living I'm a real armchair biologist. You're something at least seven people have been charged in what is being called quote an elaborate Flying squirrel trafficking. I mean honestly it better be elaborate these I want to say flying squirrels

They're one of the more fabulous animals. They really are fantastic poachers in Florida caught thousands of These flying squirrels and then they sold them to buyers in Asia apparently. They're very popular in Asia cute their pets They said that that's the is an on trend Pet because I hate when they trend the pets though Then they all end up like Lena Dunham when she got the chihuahua and then she's like it's a little me and then she returned it Oh, yeah, but parents tell me that there's forever puppies that just like their organs spoil and they die at four years old Yeah, it's not good only same time man only cute

Forever yeah, I mean with dogs. Yeah, I mean I believe that but that's the reason why they wanted the permanent puppies is because they wouldn't really grow Oh, yeah, there's their organs would grow inside of them. They're born to become something like that They would just go into total full internal shutdown. They're fucking out start bleeding from their eyes and shit Well put on my real-cap talk again Westminster dog show. Yes, you know, I love the dogs But they have bred those things so they can't even breathe anymore And it's not that's perfection if no, it's not as bad because if you get a pug You know what you have to do speaking of surgeries You got to pop open its face with like

You have to take out all the excess skin that's in its throat because it was supposed to grow but it didn't grow because some Middle-aged woman was like it's sexier if it's tinier Then I was deciding this I know and look at a dog for its attractiveness No, I know and that's why I honestly watch those dog shows and some of those refs They you look at the butthole short to make sure it's clean some of them Some of them it looks through they see like a kaleidoscope. It's not freaking good poachers This is back in Florida talking flying squirrels here. They illegally caught 3,500 squirrels which to be honest if you can catch them are they like Pokemon how easy it's how

Like you imagine the day that these Floridians had to have what we like going to hunt like look What do you do you wake up early? Do you wake up late? Well? What's the what's the day like for a flying squirrel to be honest? I don't think that's the problem here Is that I think that they're all been they've been in the flying to squirrels slammer this whole time Yeah, they've been in jail. They're not out live in flying squirrel lives real flying squirrel lives are lives of adventure and fantasy Yeah, I mean an incredible like to flitting from treetop to treetop while Korean girls scream and chase you and chase you You're like a pop star well That is the dream until of course you have to commit suicide for just not doing enough even though you do

Everything you can they set up allegedly 10,000 traps So there's 10,000 traps and trees around Marion County, Florida That's located about 80 miles northwest of Orlando, but wait a second the florida school for flying squirrels get there naturally They sell them to Asia this in Florida. Yes, because in Asia, they're fun and they're a family pet Why don't they raise them in Asia? Well, my friend. I'm let me get let me get to the or a let's let's you know Let's contact our Asian correspondent. Do we have one? Oh, we don't I don't have any numbers over there I don't know Henry the answer to that. You're asking me what I don't know. You're the one with the article

The article doesn't answer your dumb question. I'm the audience Imagine just for a moment. I'm the audience sitting Wondering I am actually worried about the audience right now. You should be yes, so The rodents they were sold to a wildlife dealer in Bushnell who resold them as captive breadpets not Wild life cute. Okay, so the real problem. Oh, so that so the problem is the lie There's a lot of problems. I also think just like why are you doing it? Why are you doing this to these because there's money to be made and this that's flying squirrel money? That is a lot. Okay, that's collateral that just sits around. You're not gonna buy that

You don't have to buy land. You don't have to buy fucking buildings You have to pay for employees. All you got to do is spend your day kind of delightfully Catching flying squirrels. Well, I think mostly the trap does it so a protected species in Florida over a three-year period That's the these squirrels are protected and over a three-year period They were able to get the 3,500 squirrels. That's according to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission So apparently they would just be like, hey, we have these really cute squirrels Take a picture of them and then a poor family in Asia would get like a box and they would be like, oh, this thing is batshit crazy Yeah, yeah, they're wild squirrels. They're wild squirrels and they're not good cats

No, no, no very cute when they're eating the nuts and stuff, but you should see them when they don't have their nuts Well, honestly, they'll they'll scratch your pussy. They'll kill you if you walk around with no underwear in your house Just for a second those flying squirrels are gonna be all over you They're gonna be fucking scratching at your dick biting your knees running around the house. They're gonna be eating your food They're gonna be driving your car. They're gonna be fucking your wife If they really well might be and then flying out the freaking window so you can never even catch them So there you go folks be careful if you see a flying squirrel in Florida just hats off You made it you did not get got by these seven monsters. Do you catch exactly sure how much time they're looking at although?

It can be seen as a fairly it could be it could be significant Given the amount of squirrels and people don't mess around with their wildlife in Wisconsin. You get caught poaching Now you're the deer. Yeah, you're the deer now, man. Now you're the you're the dare now dog Absolutely, this is great. This next story is just a little bit more spooky And I really really enjoy this because you know, you got to believe in something in this life This comes from Wftv dot com X deputy they really hit the X in this yeah X deputy accused of performing exorcism on a child and

Instructing another to shoot anyone who's entered home. What is going? Why did he get fight? He literally probably got fired for not killing enough people. Yeah, and you needed to being like we feel actually your ground could be way More standard This is Orange County, Florida. Oh, I'm they're doing great right now. Well, it's just because of the sunshine laws, you know Oh, they let us know Florida is the opposite of whatever the Kennedys would be if Massachusetts, which is basically the Kennedys as a state Yeah, they have the no shame lawn. Yes, Florida says doors are open come on in see all of the strange people that live in our home So this is a now former Orange County deputy was arrested over the weekend after he performed an exorcism on one child and

Armed another with a rifle and instructed them to shoot anyone who entered their home This is kind of fun. And you know, you know why this is kind of fun. Why? My dad and I never had afternoons together I don't think your father had a psychological break like this man Well, no, thank God for the booze the band-aid But honestly his cycle the first time my father had something close to a psychological break was probably the first time he told Me he loved me, which was when I was 25. That's not bad, but hey, he finally did it I loved your father, and I loved him at the wedding. He made a very nice speech

Yeah, but he's still yeah, but he's doing Doing better. No, I know his blood is actually doing very well. They looked at his blood yesterday They sprayed it all around and apparently it's very red The sheriff's office said deputy Christopher's don't hurt me. Maybe get him to a real doctor No, no, no, no, no, no one that you send over to his house He's got a guy that has a like a jeweler's glass who sits and he just looks at the blood and he's just like oh, what's nice about it Is that it's wet Christopher doherty 37 he was hired in January 2006 and worked in the uniform patrol division was arrested after

Deputies responded to a 9-11 call about a residential alarm that they said they found evidence of child abuse according to the arrest warrant a child told deputies that doherty armed her with a rifle a bulletproof vest and a Kevlar helmet and told her to lie down in a Bedroom and shoot anyone who entered after he performed an exorcism on another child So they called they apparently the house alarm went off that was not being they wouldn't be didn't get shut off So the cops showed up they got like exorcist ring. They're like ring ring exorcism happening here exorcism happening here very interesting A little component there deputy said don't hurt he was taken to the hospital where he was held under the Baker Act Which because you can still afford you can be Baker acted where they held the Baker and voluntarily put in a mental hospital

Okay, deputy deputy said doherty was taken into custody Sunday The same day his job with the department was terminated for what he said an unsatisfactory Performance finding in a separate matter so this is not what fired him no, but this seemed to have come Right after he was fired So he was fired on a Sunday it looks like which everyone knows you fire people on a month on a Friday Give him a couple of days to get drunk and cool off so they don't shoot up the office on Monday Or in this case a performing exorcism something else happened. What if There's a lot. I think I'm gonna get a lot of I'm gonna get a lot of guff on this

You are gonna get some guff probably this sounds like one of those stories That is the end result of an actual like horror movie plot where he actually was doing an exorcism Like this was like it was all real and the reason why he was fired was because he kept showing up to work all Harry did no sleep just going you understand You understand Captain people has taken my son. He's taking it and they were like what are you talking about captain people? He's like captain people. He's one of many. He's of the legion and they had a fireham for being so unprofessional Because his life is spiraling because his son actually is being taken over by a demonic entity

Very interesting very Nicholas Cage very You don't understand you don't what I've seen my son was speaking in oh my god I walked in my son was speaking in an Italian accent He was speaking in Spanish third bilingual school that you sent your son to so it's actually very good I can't believe they're teaching him the lessons and the language of the devil Technically, it's very good. It's gonna be really helpful for him in the future as we become more bilingual He guy walked in there and the first thing he said was bibliotech and I said what was that devil and my other son So that's Spanish and that's library in Spanish library

And I said you are also succumbing to the devil and oh I called a man in Oklahoma who said that he could very easily make us all unix. Oh, right according to sheriff John Mina He says well this deputy was terminated for a pattern of unsatisfactory performance These are various. These are very serious criminal allegations And then he goes on to say I don't know if this is true He says as law enforcement officers We are held to the highest standards of conduct on whether whether on duty or off duty We are also concerned about the deputy's mental health, which is good

They're taking that into control or in that into into consideration because he's batch of crazy I mean they seem to be taking his mental health into a lot more consideration than the people that they often arrest Yeah, and and dare I say kill I will say it is interesting that he did expect this young girl that he armed to have a shootout Which is why Hey, any time that you're giving your child a gun and a series of equipment to stop a bullet from penetrating their skull You just got to be like what's going on here. No, dude. That's exactly that's what you've been raising this child to do and to be on I don't know. We are even got the kids. Where did he get the kids? He had sex with a woman at some point this quarter to mount

I don't think that these are his children that they have not stipulated that yes I believe that his son one of the one that he was doing the exorcism on was his kid. Okay, but this other kid Think about how much that means this man's trust you He trusts you so much. He gives you his own Rifle his own Kevlar helmet his own bulletproof vest. It's he said you hold the line. Well, I fight the devil It's the plot of Jacob's ladder. It's cool. It's horrified. I'm just saying if he if it was real It would be Bonus hell. Well, it was real and he's in prison. Well now it is he now it's he's but only but what if he do exorcism work?

And now even double you have no evidence because you are taking my real you're taking my fictional argument in Defensive Carey's mother to the real world. Welcome to the Republican Party. I Have ingested it and I just fit it back at you. Yes, I thought we were playing 2d chest No, no again and again the wheel goes round and round, but this guy to be I mean, I don't know if it's real or not But it's not real. No the child was not possessed Henry. What do you mean? We're not gonna? Oh, I don't know if it was real or not. I haven't seen the child seven-year-old fire You know how difficult it is to get fired as a cop They haven't even fired the three other cops that kill George Floyd. They don't you know, they don't fire cops

I know so he must have been doing something really bad. He must have microwave fish in the Office lunchrooms Killing an innocent unarmed person. No, I um, I'm just having fun with it. Yes indeed you are in now and so it's a thought exercise It is a thought all of us can hold two thoughts in their mind at once I hold eight in there sometimes. It's freaking ridiculous. Yeah, it's just like when Papa John's come to the house Oh, my feet getting bigger. Oh my feet getting smaller. Oh Mary softer pants better life. That's for chlorine cleans the body better than soap Possibly true. Well, I ordered liquor for four, but I'm just one but I just tell them I have a family

That is true. I've done that with food basketball That's seven wrestling and eight. Wow. You did nail it You did nail it forgot a little football in there. All right Do you think a asshole sometimes you think of a nice woman's butthole probably like a solid three four times a week? Oh, absolutely. Of course, you have like a well-shaved man. Absolutely. Why not have fun with it? All right, everyone. Well this next story these I don't know what's going on something's in the water speaking of chlorine alright You know, it's I have a friend and she swears

That fluoride is is bad and it's just one of those friend things where I'm just like I'm gonna love I'm you're my friend Everyone we all have to have a belief. We're all allowed to have I like Jenny McCarthy. She can be active You want to be anti-vaccine? Okay Jenny you get to I will I'll look at your playboy stuff. Absolutely. Yeah, we can date sure Sure. Yeah, we could be together An issue that shouldn't come up maybe no, but yeah, but yeah, of course, we still gotta go out to dinner Yeah, because we just don't talk about that one subject. There's so much other to talk about with like the idea of LRH and his business acumen, but you know what we don't do talk about that

We well we do often on the show because and I get paid to do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Alright, well this pervert. This is according to again. We're going to this might as well just be the Daily Mail episode We gotta be careful because remember keep it spooky Make it spooky whatever it is that you say right now make it spooky for Halloween a dude had sex with chickens in his basement Well, his wife filmed him and he's in jail now for three years boo. That was good Sex with chickens in his basement well as well well his wife filmed him and now he is going to be in jail for three years Well, you know what I'd say if it was jack-o-lantern said be a Halloween crime a Man was convicted of having sex with chickens, which was filmed on a GoPro camera

I did not see that in those commercials usually it's people like doing surfing. Yeah surfing or or mountain climbing mountain climbing Body surfing jumping on the planes parachuting. There's like GoPro be cool be a man Do you think he had the one with the headband on? I'm not sure his wife was the one filming His wife joined her husband in the videos and admitted to aiding and a bedding the chickens died as a result of the 37 year old Having sex with him his name is Rion bag He has been jailed for three years by a judge who told him his behavior has been quote depraved despicable and perverted I will say that they should do if they really want if the if the crime if the punishment could really fit the crime He'd go to chicken jail. Yes, he would indeed because then those chickens and I'll fucking take I'm like

Oh my god, he's to one of these fucking chicken fuckers short eyes. That's what they call them short eyes in jail You little chicken fucker. Yeah, you know chicken fucker. You want to fuck me? I'm a chicken you want to fuck me his wife Hey, Liam big was spared jail after the judge heard evidence of domestic abuse. I don't know any of the details Oh, this is a very complicated story about whether or not cuz this this is comes up quite often in true crime Like Paul Bernardo where the the idea is being like how but Allison Mack how I have a feeling there's some crocodile tears Okay, Allison Mack Obviously she was almost more evil than Keith or neary in a strange way so a care a care worker

Filmed this video of her husband having sex with chickens in the basement of her home and of their home Yeah, that must have been loud. Yep. The horrifying footage of Rihanna began. He began. He was abusing the birds which are family pets They go past pets and they are lovers. They are disgust. It's very sad and he saved the file under Family vids he called them family vids and those are all the videos Oh, is there any pictures of them at Six Flags like the other two? I don't know wonder if they went the same day Oh, I also have a response to you when it comes to the GoPro camera It was rigged up in the cellar of their home to capture the footage of both of them

I indulged in the depraved and perverted acts. I think the woman should have gone to prison as well I don't know if they twitch standard there I don't know but Bradford crown because you can call it a real twitch stream if you're fucking a chicken on it because How much it's bucking in and fighting? Yeah, kind of a clock stream there Bradford crown crown court heard that Helena Bag joined her husband in the videos and then at one stage they alternated between having intercourse with the wife and The chickens so he was putting it in the chicken. How do you feel as a wife that he would rather? Fuck these chickens then fuck you well that is it seems like she's into it. She's 38 years old

She's a year older, but I might seem like it's not that maybe she's not into it But she's into how much he's into it because what does she get out of watching all these chickens get fucked? It's not like they're getting turned into dinner. I think that they may they might John water it They might eat the chickens. I don't know not to I mean obviously it's disgusting. What's happening here? But um, you know me you meet chickens die every second since this episode. I bet you we've had a hundred thousand chickens die You want to say that you what this kind of controversial? It's a lot of chickens. You're basically saying that this man is a missionary style killer. You believe no He's not he's not here. He's not here. I'm sure chickens that these are just extra superfluous chickens

I am just saying I don't believe that the death of the chicken is why he got three years I think it's because everyone knows how yucky it is and that's what's got him the three years Yeah, no one cares about the chicken is what I'm saying. Yeah, kissal Obviously, yeah, if he just killed the chickens and sold the chickens He'd be a supermarket. He's just the colonel instead. He is a chicken fucker Well, we've covered a lot of chicken fuckers this year. It's a bit of strange here We have to get has it been a strange year what's strange about it people have to get back to work people have to get I'm not saying this is like this again. It's not turning into a full like we need to get back to work

But honestly, I think that less chicken fucking would happen if Can't go to bars you bring in you bring a chicken to the office. You're gonna be fired You bring a chicken to the bar. What are you Ross from friends get the hell out a lot of times You become the most popular person the bar depends on how busy it is not if you fuck it Okay, so he was jailed for three years by the judge who told him again his behavior was depraved despicable and perverted And then he goes on to say it would make and it was not nice And it was not nice. He says it would make any right-thinking member of society sick to their stomach three years Incarcerated I fee some reason I'm way more affected by the ball

Testicle sausages honestly to be completely frank. So yes again. She also had sex with a dog Yeah, that was bad. That's bad. Also. They the big thing was that they made a bunch of child porn as well Yeah, and so that was also very bad. Well, it's really not none of it's good. No, it's really not good But did he vote? The offenses came to light after a raid on the couple's home in Great Orton Bradford, West Yorkshire Yeah, according to the National Crime Agency They were acting on a tip there that bag had images of sexual abuse of children They found two computer towers a laptop and a mobile phone were seized and examined you are not a fucking stockbroker

Or run a media company and you have four laptops in your home. You there's something going on Well, I think they kind of buried the lead here to be honest because Yeah, it feels like the big news is all of the child pornography in there Yeah, the chicken fucking is that's a headline, but that's not really that you got me here with the chicken fucking Congratulations, but now I'm reading child porn stuff and now I'm frowning now I think he needs and I didn't come here frown. I came here to smile friends. Well, I came here for a side story Story, well, you know, that's why Batman. He was so sad that his parents died He had to hang up self up. He hung himself upside down so his frown wasn't due to smile

However investigators found that they they got more than they bargained for Because they also found the other dogs and yeah, you know, it's a horrible story. It really is now that I'm yeah, man Yeah, everything's terrible about it Rianne bag was seen naked from the waist down and Helena bag is seen performing a sexual act on him. He penetrates The chicken while she is standing close by Just and I just love this time of year isn't it because the fall is coming You can feel the change in the air. Okay, and the chicken seemed especially excited today And again, they're really focusing on the chickens and he deserves more three time more than three years because of the child sexual

Problem, you know what this makes the Halloween stories that it turned out. Loubby's he was using was pumpkin spice isn't that nice It goes on to talk about how the wife she has heard making sexually encouraging moans. Yeah, I get it get it Yeah, to the defendant as he engages Weird and he was doing chicken ventriloquism a little bit and then she engages in a consensual sex act with him These do help with her culpability in these particular Yeah, I'm gonna say that she probably needs to go just have a little bit of she needs a talking I think everybody in this story needs a timeout. Yeah, I think everybody in this story could use a this is an aha moment

For everyone here. Yeah, sit to reflect and think maybe instead of doing all this We could organize our 31 for 31 for Halloween. That's mine is going very well. We're gonna talk about in good put this Oh, very good. Don't forget about good put. Thanks so much for giving to our patreon Nothing with this story really reminds me of good put. Yeah, she said this is the wife She said there were numerous different chickens brown and white God because then he mixed it up Yeah, because that one chicken must have just been so you get bored Yeah, and then she goes on to say and the defendant appears to be wearing different clothing Yeah, it's different days. I imagine the crowns case that was a that was repeatedly the repeated behavior

She said the chickens died of course Yeah, I'm not maybe embarrassed meant So, yeah, Simon hustler He's mitigating on behalf of Rianne bag says sometimes the exposure of the crime is substantial punishment in itself And these offenses have attracted such the derision Loathing and ridicule that this might just be one of those rare cases. I don't know I don't know if she has been ridiculed enough Here her lawyer also added that the family had suffered threats

Because people are mad at them for all the people throwing like buckets of fucking KFC Adam and shit like I what Yeah, at this point. I'm gonna feel like this the term You reap what you sow. Yeah gets involved in there. Yes, pretty heartily. This is a great story kisser Well, I you know it I don't love it because there's not justice being done here No, because all those chickens are already dead and the dog has been the dog has been made loved too And the only person that seems to have done well here technically. I mean even GoPro go terrible Terrible commercial for GoPro. Well, I don't know no one film showed Quality of the videos. Yeah one one film showed two brown chickens dead on the floor

And there was one occasion where it was perfectly apparent that they were penetrating a dead chicken So the pain and suffering is very bad here. You know what I would say those story it never is this is great That story actually never ends. Oh, I'm gonna end it. Yeah. Yeah, please. Thank you You know what if you want to make it a Halloween story imagine they were scarecrows Yeah, yeah, I sound like Caitlyn Jenner Yeah, all right What a fun day. Yeah, what a fun day isn't that nice this is great. They're not good I mean, hopefully I don't want nothing should be like the US President's it's way too brutal

But we need about 10% of that in the UK. They're just a just you want to let the guy know that that's not a good I feel like he needs. Yeah, he needs a stern talking to a little bit of an update on our anchorage story that we talked Oh, yeah, that's of course there has been some fun local gossip. I got from anchorage. It's talked about that by the way Gossip and anchorage is amazing because everyone is on the tip. They all know each other. It seems like it's great Wait to go. I gotta double I got a couple of good wrecks of places to eat But the mayor Ethan Berkowitz has been under fire for a long time. Well, and explain the story again real quick Well, the story is again a reporter from KTBY Channel 4 was named Maria Athens Basically said bombshell story the mayor of Anchorage former mayor of Anchorage

He said what has putting up nude pictures of himself on the website of an underage girl The segment ever aired because it was absolutely batshit crazy She let the voicemail Threatening him Chilling chilling turned out that her and mayor Ethan Berkowitz had a texting some form of cheating affair She had a picture of his butt. She posted online But then she was in a relationship with her her boyfriend who's her boss as well I don't act a boss. She she ended up in jail for the weekend long story short mayor Ethan Berkowitz has since retired

He is early retired he quit but now Thanks to his quitting which is very interesting for Anchorage because the mayor Ethan Berkowitz a power vacuum that needs to be filled in Anchorage Yes, but the mayor the save Anchorage was the his group that has been attacking Ethan Berkowitz for a long period time and this is a cute deep QAnon group that said Ethan Berkowitz is a part of the cabal of pedophiles Ethan Berkowitz the mayor of Anchorage. Yes, and that this whole thing it has become very heated in Anchorage and What I love is that they went through all of this trouble They've been celebrating the fact that he the Ethan Berkowitz has been taken down

But Ethan Berkowitz famously was trying to stem some of the rampant spread of COVID-19 that is now happening in Anchorage If they avoid he's tried to stem it by closing businesses They took this obviously saying we're under martial law QAnon is just about to reveal that JFK Junior is in fact alive He's gonna take over from Michael Pence didn't happen because it's fake QAnon The guy who started it is a pedophile and you anybody who believes it is himself a pedophile So whatever we can tell bullshit at some point down the future when you're talking about it Does it make me want to have a fucking brain in your it sounds like you're about to have a heart attack right now

But it turns out they now that the mayor is gone It has been replaced immediately with the first ever gay mayor of Anchorage it has been replaced by which I think is very very interesting Has been immediately been replaced all right now they are There must be a special election coming up right the main gossip I got was that Maria Athens has been deteriorating a lot Publicly really public meltdown. She's been wearing clothes where her like titties are falling out like good like all Yeah, she's really going crazy. I just I want to know more about Anchorage I want to go spend some time in Anchorage. This is a great PR for Anchorage. I can't wait to go there

I kind of want to go to Alaska when it's dark like all the time and just hang out with everyone Yeah, I want to see it. It's gotta get weird and at some point perhaps Alaska Isn't all of our future as soon as what they say the the polls are gonna flip and then Alaska is gonna be warm And then I'll be there that is not true They are saying the polls are gonna flip, but then it's not gonna do anything So the polls will flip South Pole will become North Pole North Pole will become South Pole Nothing happens nothing is going to happen because I'm not gonna start walking on my head

You can do that, but that would require you need some some strength. Yeah, they're not a magician All right Well, let's get to here of the week and then we'll do some listener emails that I know Henry has some Spectacular spooky kind of some longer ones this week for you guys. Yeah, I'm gonna read some scary stories Oh, right. Well, what is scarier than inevitable death Eddie the famous horner the famous horny otter He has died at the ripe young age of 20. This is the year of the week 20 not usually this is extremely rare It's with heavy hearts that they had to announce the passing of Eddie the otter

He went viral for Duncan basketballs and jerking off This is according to a press release from the Oregon Zoo They say his hoop skills earned him worldwide fame throughout his golden years But age finally caught up to Eddie at nearly 21 Eddie was considered one of the oldest and most talented sea otters on the planet He was humanely euthanized this past week He was born he was rescued in 1998 and he was just the cutest little guy and you can see videos of him sucking his own Dick and you can see videos of him jerking off and people being like this is super fun It's interesting that that is innocent and cute because nobody participated. They just said oh, look how it

Look at nature, you know fucking Abe Vagoda did it. He would have been a sexual friend Abe Vagoda could actually get away with it now. I saw a man. I had my first New York LA experience I saw a man Visually masturbating on a park bench two days ago and it honestly made me Oh, I am in a beautiful city That's right. It's still a city because when I was moving out here the great realtor But she was like, well, you know, it's still a city You do see some homeless people and I got here and I'm like this is the nicest cleanest place I've ever been and I'm like

Where is everyone jerking off and then? Where is everyone jerking off and then I finally got to see it and I was like people are real out here too Yep, isn't that nice? It's not as fake as you might think it is. No, it's not. There are people out there keeping it real Absolutely, so Eddie he skillfully used to dunk basketballs and you know why he would do that in the water It helped him with his arthritis. He was multi-talented Did he know that it helped him with his arthritis? He's an otter But this is according to Amy cutting she oversees you she oversees the Oregon Zoo She says male sea otters seldom live past 15 years

Oh, my so Eddie was one one of the oldest among his kind He was quite feisty as a young otter and we still saw that spirit come through during his later years That's very isn't it sweet so mourners took to Twitter and they were very sad and people said oh, we love you Well, of course again if he was a person he'd be a felon, but because he's an otter. It's cute isn't it cute You know what I'll say man I hope you're up and having suck in your own dick right now with Michael Hutchinson's also suck in his own dick Hutchins is in purgatory. Hmm. I wonder either one. Yeah, they all did and then also, you know, it's probably up there Probably trying to suck his own dick

Who's the guy that's saying? Freedom freedom. Oh George Michael hmm George Michael because he's had a big one, you know, you had a big oh he was an amazing About suckin in your own dick the main thing everybody's no one's ability. Oh, you gotta get rid of the Florida ribs No, you have to have a huge cock. I have seen one picture from like 1998 and it was probably photoshopped I'm gonna get up right now really convinced that no one's ever sucked their own dick I want you to look up guys suck in his own dick right now because after what I saw with the guys cutting his balls off today Do you have which you did by willingly by the way? Yes. All right

Okay, I'm poor. Oh, no, it is I see yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I didn't okay Well, okay, so how it works is the guy the guy is on his back and he brings his dick to his mouth I always thought of it more like when Guy Fieri has a big burger. He does the hunch Oh, I thought it was like that. No, so he's on his back. You do a lot of work to do that Well, make sure you yeah, whoa, there's so many. Oh, there's us You know what it's extremely common turns out. It's extremely common and Let's get to some listener emails. Shall we yeah, let's get some listening emails. Wow Do you know what's funny? You said you're definitely not gonna forget to shut that window. I'm gonna look at it with clear

I I mean I have clear eyes now, but you're definitely it's gonna be one of those where you're gonna be in front of somebody like One of our employees and you're gonna like try to show them something on your phone really important Yeah, I mean like actually check this out And then you're gonna sound like you're setting up for something like you're expecting it to be super important And then it's just the first thing is a video of a guy sucking his own dick It's like our beloved our beloved employee Fernando today misspelled in it I texted him something and then it misspelled the variant and it put baby at the end of it like I would text the Natalie I was like god damn it. Yeah, I was just like I'm not this is not about sex

I don't want to have sex with you lawyer on speed dial, buddy Here we go Now these are actually pretty spooky or some of these are more spooky than others and I like the ones that are a little bit More real, but I got one another that's not that real okay cool the shadowless man by Jack I was walking home one night from my cook job at a bar in LA it was between one and two in the morning and a Relatively short walk just under two miles I've made this walk through sleepy neighborhoods five or six nights a week for over a year And I've never seen anything more unusual than an overly friendly stray cat, which means it was trying to suck his dick

And to be fair it's kind of creepy this guy he works as a chef He's probably got a knife with them walking through the neighborhood at two o'clock in the morning every single day at 2 a.m Actually, this is the first chef's over there. I don't think every chef has their own knives. No many. What was the one that did Israel keys? I think Yes This particular night seemed to be just another quiet walk home So I went along my way almost on autopilot lost in the music playing through my headphones and then smoke filling my lungs from a cigarette Do not I've been missing I've been thinking about cigarettes again You know what I know where true talk though. I went to the weed store and I was like I want some I want some actual real Jays

I have been loving smoking joints. I got a lot of chatter I was like I am big as big as I am I am sensitive to weed and so they gave me the perfect amount I was perfect. I've been using my auto grinder. I fucking roll up with the fucking my own home joints I fucking love them every day my boy Billy Wayne Davis hook me up with some delicious weed for Humboldt County, my whole fucking life is set. My life is fucking set right now. So calm so calm I was two blocks away from my apartment when I stopped at a crosswalk to roll myself another cigarette I had stopped just under a street lamp on the corner And I noticed the shadows cast by myself and a nearby trash can as I finished my as I fished my lighter out of my pocket

I lowered my head to light up and I felt someone near me before I actually saw anything I know I raised my head and I saw that yes There was now another person standing at the crosswalk with me. It was Jesus and he was carrying me Oh, let me go. Let me go. Whoa taking you my shack and a calmer cut with his fucking balls. Oh my goodness This caught me off guard Because despite being on a well lit quiet corner I hadn't seen or heard anyone approaching from any direction before lighting my cigarette Nothing about this guy seemed weird at first

He seemed like an average guy mid to late 40s wearing blue jeans a plain dark shirt and brown leather shoes He had graying brown hair and a clean shaved slightly line face which held no expression in particular I couldn't see his eyes at all because of the dark glasses. He wore I thought that was a little strange giving it was the middle of the night But I didn't think too much of it LA is a weird place with weird people on the most normal of night. Sure where you live here Yeah, absolutely. He gave me a quick nod when he saw me notice him He then went back to looking at nothing in particular across the street He seemed to be waiting to cross but made no move for the turn signal or anything

He just stood there not looking at me after what felt like at least five minutes during which he didn't move at all I turned to push the crossing signal if he wasn't gonna move on I was mm-hmm before even turned back around I knew he was closer than before he'd close the distance between us quicker than I thought would have been possible for a man His age especially as silently as he had done it He was now between me and the trash can close enough to touch me But thankfully not I did my best not to react as I turned to look at him his dark glasses met my eyes You mind rolling me You mind rolling one of those for me son

He asked in a soft voice that almost sound like I wasn't coming from him Yeah, man. No problem. I Said surprising myself. I don't really hate being addressed in such a familiar tone by a total stranger and as a rule I almost never give out my smokes to anyone. I don't know but there I was almost without a second thought when I turned to hand him the cigarette something about him just seemed off But I saw it looked almost right but still not somehow at the same time I couldn't put my finger on it. So I just ignored the feeling We smoked our cigarettes in the corner together waiting for the light to change while time moved at a snails pace

I was surprised that my own cigarette wasn't burned to the filter yet Well says while his had somehow been lit Even though I never saw him produce a lighter or matches or anything. Hmm. He never seemed to move at all After what felt like another small eternity the signal to cross finally came on and I started towards the other side The young the man didn't seem to react to the lights change just kept smoking and staring ahead I look back at him over my soldier as I cross and again what my brain should have registered is nothing more than a middle-aged man Smoking just seemed wrong in some way It was a short walk to the end of the street and look back to that corner one more time before I turn out of view of it

The man was gone Where he had stood was absolutely nothing no smoke hung in the air No sounds of footsteps walking away in any direction. No bud of a cigarette smolding on the ground No sign of the guy at all. I turned the corner and began my last bit of my walk home I put my headphones back in and was surprised to find that although the music had been playing the whole time It was barely at the end of the song that it just started before I noticed the man at the crosswalk I started going through my unconscious brain and trying to hold on the situation a subtle but undeniable Unease spread through me as my brain finally understood was it was that was bothering me so much about that man standing there near me I

Remembered that I noticed the shadows caused by the street light earlier from me in the trash can near the corner Mm-hmm this man the stranger had stood in the same place under the same street light I didn't realize that what I had seen until that moment or more accurately what I hadn't seen That man the man who appeared in the middle of the night out of nowhere To bum a smoke didn't cast a shadow The man didn't cast any shadow at all Well, what's the point of giving him a cigarette then if you're gonna have you know, but it's very interesting perhaps that also

Was what kept the spirit at bay What the cigarette or if you would have been like nah? I don't want to give you a cigarette. Maybe he would have been killed. He says pull out a stick sir Oh, that's not a cigarette. That's fun It's called nighttime grandma. Oh, I like daytime grandma My grandmother was a horrible woman. Why is she really? She's dead. No When my son was small, he had a speech delay We put him in a couple therapies while in while he made progress

He still didn't talk much and chose to use his own little language We had recently moved to a new city leaving my mom behind my son couldn't say grandma yet He called my mother ah We had been staying in a long-term hotel for a while. My husband had a job So during the day the kid and I were cooped up in one evening. We all just had to get out We had a nice dinner downtown and decided to spend some time walking around and exploring our new city Oh, we turned down an empty street. The Sun was beginning to go down and with the tall buildings. It was just like dusk Suddenly our two-year-old pointed out from his stroller directly in front of him and said in his clearest voice

I eat night. I'm a ma. I See nighttime grandma. Oh my god We looked at where he was pointing, but there was nothing the street was still empty It was a clearest sentence He had ever spoken and it gave me chills down my spine six cents Eventually we moved into a rental house and began to settle into a routine My son began half-time daycare and his speech started to improve after spending time with other children We'd forgotten about nighttime grandma

One afternoon I put my son down for a nap in his room Sometimes it would take him some time to fall asleep and with the door open. I could hear him rolling around until he fell asleep I was doing some chores of listening to a podcast Absolutely listening for any sound of my son getting up from bed or upset about anything when I heard him talking. I Turned out my podcast a little to listen in maybe he was playing as he was getting ready to fall asleep That's when I heard him say it again Nighttime Alma. He was talking about his day To an entity that only he could possibly see

I'd crept up to peek into his room and when he said night night rolled over and went to sleep I thought about texting my husband at work, but I didn't want to interrupt him So when my son woke up, I asked him about who he was talking to but although he had recently turned three He shrugged and asked him to and he asked me to turn on the shows. Oh Oh From then on I would listen to him at nap time, but I didn't hear him address anyone again I eventually forgot about it until recently my son is now eight We've moved houses a couple of times and things are normal

He'd made friends in the neighborhood and other than his burgeoning interest in horror. My son is like any other boy You'd meet The other day he had gone outside to ride his bike and I heard him talking to someone outside I'd look to see if he was if it was one of the kids in the neighborhood, but he was alone But then I saw him wave goodbye and nothing and say I have to go inside now Bye night grandma Whoa imagine Imaginary friends growing up. So I think that's very healthy for him. You know, I never did you never had imaginary friends

No, I don't hold I'd like 20 of them mine were just I would just My penis you're just your penis. You have a very strange relationship with that. It's not strange It is a little strange. I was just a real helicopter parent to my penis. Yeah Yeah, you have like a you like you gave it a personality and it's like it's almost like it's not a part of you Yeah, it's separate. Yeah, but it isn't no whatever crimes your penis commits. You are it's attached to you We know this okay, we've spoken to each other. We know I mean Oh my god, what's the name of that movie that the Frank Hennelotter movie? Bad biology bad biology. Yes

Side stories L potl a gmail.com. We're almost at the end of spear of spooky time. I can't believe October It's gone by It's almost like there. There's like a dread of something that's almost destroying everything will be fine My grasp of Halloween. No, I know so I'm trying to stay in the pocket And we got to remember keep watching them scary movies because even I sort of fell off my 31 for 31 because the Ha the Bly Manor show came out and I was trying to finish Lovecraft Country and trying to get all my other horrors in at Once Bob just Joe Bob just did his own Drive-in show which was great, but keep going and then this Saturday. We got Halloween. It's coming

This Saturday so excited full moon We're gonna have it's gonna be very special check twitch TV slash last podcast network and we are gonna be up there 5 p.m. Pacific absolutely PM Eastern time. I'm gonna watch I'm gonna watch it Henry's house and perhaps leave and dress up a little bit But I have one more story. I agree one more tale I Work at the museum assistant for a National Park Service site in our building has a front office research area and a back storage space with a Couple million objects everything from old cans to wagon wheels paintings the usual Unfortunately due to the legacy of colonialism. We also have the remains of some Native American ancestors We've worked with the tribe to figure out what will happen with their skeletons

But for now they sit in our storage area adults and infants alike be very very Careful there my god the door to the storage areas in my office as you might imagine in a government building this door is a fucking fortress Three total people have keys including myself and I monitor access the door is a fire block So it's heavy as shit and the whole thing also sticks in its frame because the building is shifted Well, you know what's interesting though as well We talk about like Native American bones and we were like oh be very careful. It's haunted But technically aren't we the ghosts aren't we the scary part even the bones? We're just like scary like devils. Yeah, and then you're like the Native American bones

You're like we're just a bunch of bones and you're still scared of us you killed me Yeah, you killed you you invented weapons you came and you brought other people from other countries And you kill you just kill and kill and kill and kill and we're like but don't you I hate when people hate that I like pumpkin spice indeed Well, that's why they used to call it the America virus as opposed to the Chinese virus when it comes to smallpox Isn't that interesting? Shit yeah, so when we leave for the night We can't set the building alarm if both of us if both of its locks are in place

So first one and each more first one in each morning turns off the alarm last one out sets it Okay, so I come in one morning and turn off the alarm normal stuff I go straight to the morning emails my back to the storage door after a few minutes I hear a distinct human sniffle behind me I look around surprised and I start to say my boss's name, but no one's there I can also see the building entrance from my desk So I would have seen the boss come in anyways, but I thought eh maybe they like army crawled or some shit Who knows I go back to work army crawl Fridays

You know how we always do and I always liked it because we train Travis to never be scared We train we get his flight or flight response Numb absent absolutely. I go back to work 20 or so minutes later. I hear this sniffle again I walk I whip around on my seat. I Whip around on my seat like what up around no not anymore Oh, I whip around on my seat like what the fuck is going on and instantly I freeze salad Oh, the door to the storage room is cracked open showing just a sliver of the absolute pitch black space beyond I'm looking at this door in utter disbelief and creeping horror

The doors fucking locked when it came in that morning or the alarm wouldn't have been able to be set the night before I had an open it. No one else was in the building with me I sure as shit didn't hear someone hurricane force some hurricane force wind push it out of its broken-ass frame Whoo, right and yet here was this goddamn nuclear security let nuclear security level Fire door sitting cracked open both locks undone. I get up and I look into the dark a 100-foot long hallway beyond and stumble over some words along the lines of good morning everywhere. Hope you have a good day I'm gonna close this door. Goodbye. I Slam the door shut and I put both locks into place and sit back at my desk

Try not to shit myself a few months later, and it's time to clean the storage room I'm in and out of that room daily grabbing boxes for researchers or working on whatever so I know the space really well I'm cleaning and I get to this row across from the shelves holding the tribal ancestors I go to the vacuum the floor when I see something strange I turn my head in the light and I see six to seven barefoot prints on the floor in a clear walking line These prints look as if someone appeared out of thin air took seven steps with just barely wet and slightly dirty feet Straight up disappeared again. The prints weren't terribly distinct from the floor tile if that they've been here there for a while I definitely would have noticed them at some point during the course of my normal work

And let me tell you curators can be some protective and controlling motherfuckers There's no way in hell a barefoot and muddy human was allowed to go wander around our climate controlled North Korea Level security facility. Whoo. I got my full on My stomach the meals museum. I'll look at these prints from every angle. There was absolutely no mistaking them for anything else This wasn't a well, maybe they're footprints. No, I could see the foot fingerprint I could see the footprint lines the distinct shape every toe to this day No one has any idea where the kid could have come from. I say hi and bye to those ancestors every damn day now Make sure you do and bring give him some quino put out some food do something to make him happy. My god

Keen why Keen why Queen? Oh, what do you call it? You call it Queen? Why? No, it's Keen why Keen why? Keen why all right, everyone? Thank you all so much for listening to this episode Eating Keen why I've done it. I've had it. Yeah, it's fine. It's like a rice type thing. I think it's overrated It's not that great All right, I think it's fucking over it I saw Travis just make a little fucking twitch because Travis is a vegetarian very healthy. I'm fine with it vegetarianism And I like other let people eat who whatever they want I'm not who ever they want other than testicles. They can eat it too technically. I guess if you harvest them locally no way

All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening to this week's side stories We have a story ahead of us. We have a fucking apes shit Fucked up series coming on last podcast right now. I'm so excited. It's coming up on Friday You're gonna like it. It's gonna be something special Check out last podcast merch.com because you can go and you can get yourself one of our new patented I don't know if we could say tobacco grinders. It's a tip. It's a grinder I think you can say it's a herb grinder I don't I think you can't say like crystal meth grinders or like oxy grind you don't need to grind up crystal meth

Well, you probably well you probably could to snort it because you know snort Oh, I guess you do you can do both you can you can dip it too cool. You can know it's not cool It's really bad. No one's having fun They're loud and they're awake. I don't think I'm so excited seems so motivated Well, I don't know between tiktok videos and and meth it doesn't seem like there's a very good Also, how do you feel about Travis pitching his tiktok Somalia show where we do where Travis gets a little like his little Somalia cup Mm-hmm, where you pull yours of the one like a wine glass out and little fake little tiktoks come out of it And then he becomes a super cool like oh, what's his name the guy from h3h3?

Well, I definitely edgy it'll be the beginning of the end of the cool that is tiktok. That's a goal. Absolutely the goal is to kill it Absolutely, but I have no problem with it though at the same time. Okay We have to do the triple L hail Satan. Oh, no, I have to do the triple L. Yeah, you've been forgetting like the past I feel like no, I don't I don't always forget. It's just like you have to you have to snap in you know And it's about leaving it's about getting it back in your heart and just knowing for a fact You have to live the triple L lifestyle you do you do wherever you go You have to get a short haircut. You have to ask for the manager. Why not you have to get a nice series of Popories for your home

Sometimes the manager is your son or your husband and you just want to tell them how proud you are of them for becoming a manager That never happens. They just become another fucking complainer. Okay every single time you're a boss to your family members They start attacking. Okay, and you got to love your role as the family You are the head of the family, but you're also the boss of the family So you better love it because you have to both love your employees When you work when your family works for you you have to physically love your employees Is this a conversation you should be having with Jackie and not a wonderful audience. They're basic. I mean they're respectful To a point. It's your sister. She doesn't have to be you have to laugh at the

Circumstances that you're in because you sit there you surrounded by your loved ones But then you pay for health insurance for them, but then you would be like Henry I would like you to be more emotionally supportive of me Am I not a boss to you? I need you to be a brother for me. I'm Jackie now. I need you to be a brother not a boss Because as soon as you do man, you're vulnerable and it's not really fucking hard hard style Oh Nothing but nails You are having a full-on mental breakdown of all right everyone. Thank you so much

Jokes the distance and everyone for myself. Oh, isn't that sad? I'll take my goose deletions Me hang in there. We're gonna ask me recently if my little hail me song is the actual it is this Christmas from John Lennon That's not John. Oh, yeah me if you're gonna John Lennon made that song Or not me covered it. I don't fucking know. I don't know either. It is that tone. I think it is. Oh, absolutely This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network comm