Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Extraterrestrial Terrorists

Episode Date: July 4, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: Dr. Marijuana Pepsi, a man slashes his own throat in court, are extraterrestrials terrorists(?), and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side stories That's when the cannibalism started Man Australia What are we gonna start every single podcast that we do from Australia with huh man Australia, huh? What are we gonna else? Well, how else do we say we could say hello like I don't know We are in a studio in Australia that has windows that look right out to the street. Yes Yeah, so what I like to do is look at my titty This is like Amsterdam if everyone that was in the red light district windows were just chubby Polish men

I believe it would be called Amsterdam every boy has a price. Oh You're disgusted. Can I literally ask you what how much money? Dude, let's just do no no no what let's do it. Don't be gross about it. I'm not being gross sounds like you're gonna be gross No, but how much bunny would it take for you to suck a man's penis? Oh, this is like what are we in eighth grade? I don't know. It's we got to figure out what to talk about 45 minutes. It's not that big of a deal to do anyway But I will just say um I will it's really not that big out 10 million bucks Wow, am I low-balling or high-balling? That's high-balling. I don't know you're gonna suck it

I don't know for 10 million dollars. I'll shave just a mustache. I'll just have a mustache You honestly, I actually might do that. I'm gonna shave and just have a mustache. So I think it's a great idea. Thank you Thank you so much. All right, everyone. This is side stories. They're the stories that are on the side I am bed with beautiful Polish Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, no, yeah, no We have had a blast here blast here in Australia We were in Perth that was dope as hell the folks of Perth are crazy a lot of wild times and then Adelaide like Legitimately beautiful place and we wish we had more time there Yes, and it's the mere dear capital of Australia or at the very least the in name

It's the murder capital of Australia. They had a lot of pride a lot of pride for how many people were murdered in Adelaide Yes, which I understand. I understand. It's nice. It's nice to have a laurel It's nice to go something out there to talk about. Yeah, Wisconsin is like we got beer We got cheese and then Adelaide is like we got barrels full of bodies. It's like, okay. I I ate a lot of meat last night. We had a wonderful steak dinner What was the name of that joint the meat and wine company? Yeah, what does sound sort of like the spaghetti factory? or the cheesecake factory spaghetti factory in Vancouver is that right? I know all of the factory restaurants

How do you know that I just some reason my brain logs them interesting being like that's where a hard-working man works and eats He has to because that's called the company meal or family meal, but I had insane nightmares last night You did from the from the meat sweats. Well, I had one dream that I was working for Elvis But he was older and he got a big circular bed with a bunch of nude women. Okay. I was supposed to serve him food In a bed. So you were the servant. I was like a servant But this is the dream world so you could have just either been Elvis or you could have been like Elvis could have been like, you know Here we have all these women and the women are like, I love you Henry in dream world Henry But instead you were just a waiter. I deserve whatever my brains give me. I feel like it's it's unfortunate

I feel like I do live there. I'm already living a dream. Sure. I'm living a fantastic life So you got to have to flip it out. You got to change it up into dreams so I can learn something Well, I actually had a dream last night We'll get to a couple of creepy tales here in a moment But I had a dream last night that I killed someone and it was someone that I knew and I beheaded them and all this stuff And I buried them and the whole thing was me trying to cover it all up Who was it? And I know faceless nameless entity, but you knew that you knew them. I knew that I knew them You know how the dream works. I killed my parents in a dream not too long ago

I know I think it's every time they ask you for money Subconsciously you just hate them more and more and more and I think it does really breed Bad dreams about your folks I asked my therapist and she said it's just all about stuff It is all about it's so what what therapist are by the way just to close on my dream It was very exciting. I got away with it. Why? Because the person wasn't dead at the end weird although they did not have a head

But they could still talk it's fucking terrifying. It was weird I Died with my therapist is just an ATM outside of a Bank of America. I talk about and then messages just pop up on the screen Like an American psycho, right? You know what the ATMs have now and I actually am not against it, but they got the donation for charity ATM I feel like it's one last little like guilt like can you just press a button? It works, of course every single time I have now given to the American Cancer Society to the heart Society I've given to doll obviously all animal ASPCA because what are we pulling money out to do drink exactly?

And so it's like it's not like I'm getting money out to go and save my family's farm No, I don't any money to go put booze into my system So I could give you two dollars and quite frankly I think that's the smartest thing they could be doing because you already take the money out the guilty Yeah, you're always going to be doing something of vice whether you're at a casino Going to an adult club perhaps going to a bar. Most people work on credit card or PayPal now or Venmo You don't need a lot of cash for a lot of things. Well, we actually we're hanging out with this dude By the way, this tour, you know, we oftentimes joke about how we are just living Wayne's world

Yes, and it is a blessing and we are very thankful, but we are fully on now to Wayne's world, too Yes, and that dream came to fruition with our tour manager named Simon He's incredible awesome, and he told us a story about how he was working with Judas Priest and saying he's like I don't like it right saying he's like he's out so in the reginal and originally, you know like Jadis, you know Rob He used to go out there. He used to actually roll at his motorcycle on stage Got to the point where you can't hold up the bike anymore, and I'm Dropped the bike. Yeah, because he would go up there. He's a whole man and he said it's like so we get a bunch of Lads together, and then we like pick up the bike and just roll them

The behind-the-scenes World of rock and roll is just the best so Simon. Thank you so much if you're listening you have been kick-ass on this tour and your tails are Absolutely freaking hilarious what I am learning is Musicians might not be the most Organized and I mean are we? Compared to musicians it's weird because I really do think that musicians have their shit less together Then comedians comedians are are less emotionally available Yes, I think that's where our problems are we're a comedian a lot of times when I'm alone in a hotel room

It's like I'll fuck a moisturizer bottle a lot. I cover myself a chocolate alone in a room But we're not having fun. It's like a musician that goes out there It's fucking random people and having crazy adventures and shit most of the time my default is In the room. Yes nude watch whatever local game show is happening Yes in my brain halfway through a hangout maybe around 10 p.m. Or 11 p.m. If I am remotely close to hungry I do start to fantasize about what I'm gonna order. I'm going to be alone Oh, I check out. I just love it. I just think about my foods Yeah, where am I going to go tonight? Look at these losers. They're all in the way of me eating whatever it is

I want to eat that's right. That's right. It's cool But honestly, we've had food adventures you guys have have had patience with me and have chosen to allow me to have some food Adventures along with you, which is nice. Absolutely. We had I did not try the kangaroo yet Well, they have a slug. No, I don't even know. I honestly don't know if it's a thing. No, I don't think that people I mean, I'm sure some places eat slug although. I haven't seen any slug on a stick here I had some mealworms not too long ago, and they're delicious full of protein. This is gonna be our protein of the future I know what's happening But anyway, we are just having a blast and it has been wonderful to see everyone down on da

And I learned a lot about rugby score. That's called a try That's four points and then they get a kick as two points six points and then they show a lot of male butts Do they kick it between like posts? Yeah between uprights, but tighter tighter uprights Do they have to bounce it once and catch it and then they kick it to each other They have to bounce it to kick it and then they don't have to bounce it to pass it But they can't pass it forward you got to pass it backwards And then they beat the living hell out of each other and honestly it makes me wish that we didn't American football needs It should just be rugby. No when they get the ball they jump into like a square, right?

That's what they get the points. Well, that's if they have to do a scrum Scrum is when they all have sex with each other. I Actually do think we because we were talking about this and we saw a bunch of rugby boys get off the plane Oh, yeah, and they are some big Big boys. Well, they're soccer players because so they have like the athletic mobility of a soccer player So they're shredded and then they have to be as strong and agile as like an amateur wrestler combined with a football player So if I was a woman, yeah, I understand Um the desire to be with a perfect male athletic specimen such as but the brain the brain is what's really important

Kissel, that's where we have right is the power Persuasion you have to have that. Yeah, you can have all the the beautiful man meet you want the world But you know what that guy? Oh, yeah, he's great in bed. Sure. You can fix the house a lot of money Oh, yeah, we've got a lot of stuff, right? Can he do a Sudoku? All right. Well, let's let's just speaking of you know, I was almost going to make this guy hero of the week But I can't encourage this activity. I think we cannot encourage this activity anyway shape or form because it is still a bomb threat No, no, not that Yes, Henry's got a great bomb threat story here in a second

But this story just reminded me of Dave Matthews band Do you remember when DMB was going over the bridge and they they drained their toilet over the bridge in Chicago? Well, it's happened again, but the first the perpetrator is not nearly as famous nor are they found literally this story is a paragraph long So this is from the BBC news Urinating man causes injuries on Berlin boat an unidentified man It urinated from the low-line Janowitz bridge onto a tourist boat It's just is it was it supposed to rain today. Oh, what is it? Oh, oh, oh, look, you know, I love catching up with the first few raindrops That's what my daddy said. He said you catch your first few raindrops

That's that's Berlin I think they drink piss all the time they might who knows they're always having fun a Number of people on board of the boat jumped up in surprise Hitting their heads as the boat passed under the bridge for people for people were taken to the hospital with head Lacerations know what I I guess they really jumped, but no one knows who this guy was It was fine or arrested. He just created total chaos on that boat chaos all over the both and everybody is one like But you know the guy urinating first of all, he's not sober And he had no idea he's probably reading the same article. We are being like well some people Can't believe that's people would do something like this not to be mean what he's like pissing his pants while he's reading

It's hard to know where to piss, but I feel like also Pointed piss on a boat. You know you're busy. You know what you're looking at So I think what are the odds though? What are the odds of you cuz you know this guy to go Yeah, but this is just a little tour. It's just a little tourist boat. I mean, it's still a boat. Yeah, I would No matter how hammered I am I would at least give a scan So I'm not pissing onto the hat of a cop, right? I would at least look over a little bit and so I do feel like it might be Pointedly done and I expect to experience the same sort of treatment when we go to Berlin. Yes

Oh, absolutely That's why I'm not gonna get on the boats, but I will drink and walk over a bridge and see if I can't be the lucky month The lucky man who gets to urinate because we know for a fact. This is a man. Oh, yes This is what this is male privilege where we can actually whip it out and pee over a bridge It's the strongest most powerful woman to ever live who can piss in a pure arc from the back of her vagina Out in front of her like a skunk I actually wonder if there's any ladies that can't do because I know there are ladies who have said that they can't Piss in urinals and I've seen them. You know what I mean? Yeah, they kind of back up

They put their leg up. They hold the whole to the side and they can they can piss completely perpendicular to their bodies Which I'm saying like it's cool. You go girl. I love it. Hell. Yeah. Yeah, I mean you've seen all those documenter Absolutely documentary footage. I believe Ken Burns That's Burns with three I remember because I remember it was my favorite. It was I love the Civil War baseball jazz and piss When he did piss, I was like this is Breaking the history of piss. Yes, the first guy to piss the first guy to drink piss Uh-huh. Did you watch a lot of pee-pee play videos back in the day? You did some golden shower stuff

You were into it. I mean, I don't know. I mean, it's so it's a it's a wild time out there in the in the mean streets of Pornhub, you know, any hot liquid is fun. I enjoy fondue porn As well, you know, you got a bunch of cheese. I don't like food and sex though No, I actually don't really understand the food and sex thing and that is the one thing when it comes to like talking Well, that's because when you eat food, it is sex for me Yes, because you do have like you do have the I guarantee you the pheromones that come off of your body when you see Just the like the the wagyu tartare we had yesterday. Yes, that was like a Experience that I felt the same neurons refiring. Yes

Um, I have even said like it is true. It is very similar to me. I watch it I do sometimes feel like a cheetah I do when when food's coming out when the waiter's got the food like when that steak popped down last night Oh, I do sort of feel like Dennis Raider in the closet. Sure Just wearing through the key for the keyhole, right rock rock or set. That's the thing with Dennis Raider You know, he could never actually stay rock hard So he was always just kind of a halfy because he's an impotent little piece of crap It's the whole time. He's like man, I wish I was hard right now

That was him just sitting watching being like why can't why aren't I hot? Why aren't I hard right now? This is like when I should be hard Well, we know for a fact the man who urinated off this bridge was not hard because urinating well Erect is impossible. So that's true. Yeah, it is you're never woken up with a morning boner and pissed with it I don't think and then a kind of you have to press your boner down to get to the edge of the rim Well, uh, no, I don't uh, I believe it has to well. This is not cock talk Yeah, you know this no because you can't Physically because the penis is full of blood. No, so you cannot pass the rooms not full of blood

It's not like if you start pissing with the boner. You're gonna start pissing blood The pee could come out if you got a pee if you really got to go I think if the pee got there talking if I don't know I do know I've done no I know I have to but I think it does soften just so I have been rock party. I Don't think you can be I have done it Are you talking about aliens? No, I'm talking about me speaking to aliens this next story is incredible Man arrested after police say he made explosive device in order to talk to police about aliens Now this was done by 69 news

That's all yeah, it's coming out of Myers town PA Authorities say a man placed a homemade bomb outside a hotel in Lemonand County Police arrested 28-year-old David oxenrider Sunday. They say he made an explosive device He left it in a parking lot at Bonnie house in Myers town the hotel owner Contacted state police after oxenrider had told them he had made an explosive device which was inside his apartment He told them he said hey, it's outside. So so this guy literally he makes this device and he's like got a bomb here like like Aspen sure a Jim Carrey when he's got the little box with the dog

Right and the doesn't he say that he has a bomb here or something like that what a spin sure when he's got the package I got a package people. Yeah, but that's all he said not a bomb. I don't know Okay, I mean you could you back in the day you could joke about it. You could but not anymore No, you can't make any freaking jokes anymore people get really really upset I heard that oxenrider placed the device beside a dumpster after the hotel manager told him to remove it from the building Because he called and said I got a bomb inside of my up in I'm in the hotel And I have a bomb in my room, which is it's it's you know You want to get out of there? I guess then it's a dumb idea. Yes, it is state police then arrived on scene

The bomb was disabled and no one was hurt 30 residents of the hotel was real. Yes. Oh, yes 30 residents of the hotel had been evacuated due to fears of secondary devices Oxenrider told state police he had not intended to hurt anyone that he only wanted to talk to police about what he said were Experiences with aliens in an interview with police oxenrider said that he had an encounter with a UFO ship and aliens He said the aliens had told him humans need to start being good people or else They will be destroyed with a nuclear laser beam So now he's been held in lemon County prison, which God knows what happens. We've seen lemon party prison So this man he just wanted to talk to the cops about the alien abduction that apparently experienced

But couldn't he just not do the bomb thing? Yeah, and just talk to the cops or is the bomb thing Actually something that was supposed to be nefarious and dangerous and he's just using this alien thing as a cover-up I think he might not be all there Yeah, I think you have a couple of ruse short of a pack I think that he is he tried to bridge a gap to the police because he said they probably wouldn't take his experience Seriously, and so he felt that he needed to really get people's attention Uh-huh, which is then he went all the way to make a real bomb to do it But that is the that's the weird part because he could have also publicly defecated if you wanted to speak with officers

He could have stolen any series of different candies from a grocery store We've had a confrontation with police officers. We've seen this extreme reaction before Do you remember the the guitarist from cannibal corpse? I believe yes when he also had a public meltdown and wanted to talk about the truth But UFOs I totally we've been talking about this now for a while. Yes talked about with the anachroid We talked about it a little bit. We've this concept of does Seeing an alien make you insane or do you have to be insane to see an alien? What if I I my favorite version of the truth is that all of this is real and that he is Truly being contacted by mischievous elements on the other side. They're like, yeah

I don't you make a bomb they'll take you seriously if you make a bomb and he's like really and they're like Aliens that the first people they actually contacted were Isis and the aliens got radicalized and now the aliens are Radicalizing people here. So it's an alien terrorist This is the first alien terrorist that we've we've had so far in this country unless you do believe that all aliens are terrorists And people do believe that and that's a part of what the abduction experience is which is essentially space rape So with this guy I just I do have a problem with what he said what the aliens told him Yes, the aliens like you all are being mean to each other

So if you don't stop being mean to each other, we're going to explode you with a nuclear laser beam Which is not really how that would work, but um, doesn't it seem like they're being mean then? Yeah, so I feel like it's Logically wouldn't the aliens just be like when you're nice to each other We will be nice to you and as long as long as you guys are mean to each other You'll never fully understand what peace could look like because we won't visit your planet There's a common there's many common threads, right? We're a lot of times in abduction scenarios where people said that they've talked to entities that have given them like a breakdown of

What will happen to the human race if we don't change our ways because it really depends on what you believe about The aliens relationship to us because they're have they always been here have the aliens have always been a part of our And raised us and helped create us other is the whole alien agenda storyline Where reptilians came and created us out of the primitive apes and they made humans in order to work for them And then we've always been embroiled in space drama or have UFOs not shown up until the mid 1940s When we basically came online with the nuclear age and that kind of brought their attention towards us And there's a lot of people that believe that I think it's it's conversely one or the other This is a this is this belief that if they started talking to us in the 1940s

And they want to specifically warn us about our nuclear devices. I feel like this guy This guy should go into I think the term is the loony house He needs to go into the boo boo dome like he needs to go to some place dome is another term for it Yeah, he needs to go. I think this is he's incorrect But I do there's said many people that during an abduction experience have had aliens say You will never experience the peace of our world until you guys figure out how to handle your shit This story we we're not gonna go into great detail, but it's about this dude Brent Christiansen Oh, this is interesting. This is disgusting. This man is a total monster

His idol was Ted Bundy like, you know, we talk about we massive red flag red flag red flag If you're on a first date and they say I'm interested in true crime, okay They can continue if they say my idol is Ted Bundy red flag date over and you don't even need to wait for the check You're allowed to get up and leave and you could my idol is Ted Bundy is really really it's a hard fucking It's love of Ted Bundy I the thing that always makes me weird when people's being like Ted Bundy It's my spirit animal like the whole spirit That is the that's almost worse because it's cute

It's disgusting and that is not that is these people as we know are not to be idolized They're a bunch of pathetic More rounds, but this is a sad story about this Student named Ying Ying Zhang she was a student at the University of Illinois and this monster ended up kidnapping her He raped her he murdered her and he did it again because he loved Ted Bundy, so this is he was a 29 year old student instructor and Doctorial candidate prosecutor say he's been living a double life and he had an abduction Fantasy he told his girlfriend, which is amazing. It's always incredible that these people have girlfriend

I mean honestly honestly you you manage to figure out I guess it's cuz like all these guys they Compartmentalize it and they they believe they have this one festering dark idea that they let sit dormant until it becomes Little comes knocking at the fucking conscious door. Yeah, yeah, I will say though. I don't think he Compartmentalized compartmentalized This very well because he would talk to his girlfriend about how he would love to kill and rape and all this kind of horrible stuff So his girlfriend to her credit was like I think I'm gonna put a wire between my bosom and just let's see what he says She did she did she recorded herself. She did it. Yes, so this is according to his girlfriend

He told her that miss sang again. So sad was his 13th victim and that quote He was apparently very good at this and so sadly The family of Zang went to Illinois and were like hey, man, we really want Are the body and this monster said quote the family won't leave until she is found Well, they are going to leave empty-handed because they will never find her his girlfriend Terribleus prodded him along to keep talking because she was wearing the wire but evidently This is a brave ass woman. Well, I think he was already I think he was in custody

at this point, so he's going to face potentially a life sentence or the death penalty a Punishment that federal prosecutors and Zang's family are seeking but that Christians in himself avidly salt sought to halt so he's not like, you know, there is some obviously this is all horrible, but There is something about a serial killer to be like give me the death penalty like what didn't panzer am I wanted to die. We had though. We had him who definitely wanted to die We had Israel keys who definitely wanted to die, but the problem is that it is the It's hard because I hate giving them anything that they want So I'm actually happier and I'm not actually for the death penalty

But in the world where we do have the death penalty I am actually happier if he does get it that he doesn't want it. Yeah, that's the way it should work Yeah, you should get whatever it is. You don't want your serial killer. Absolutely So this is according to a defense attorney at George F. Tassif He says it will be startling for many of you to hear Brent Christiansen is Responsible for the death of Ying Ying He goes on to say so in the so in view of what I just said some of you may be asking Why are we having a travel in the first? Why are we having a trial in this first stage?

The answer to that is that Brett Christiansen is on trial for his life So Zeng she moved to Illinois at 26 from China She was pursuing a doctoral degree in Crop Sciences hoping to later return to China and teach at the University Federal prosecutor Eugene Miller says she didn't know that before she even came to this country The defendant had gone down this dark path that led to this very moment. So this guy's a monster I really said, you know because I don't really run that way I'd love to hear from someone who is an expert like either anybody who works as a dom or people who really have very intense Expertise in the SNM world. How the fuck do you actually negotiate and talk about with your partner these these things like the concept of having dark

abduction fantasies well, is there a way to safely express these Feelings and these these fucking these impulse. Well, we have a lot of listeners who do you know a lot of leather play Dom play and again whether whatever we were, you know, if you like the P play whatever you want to do You show up dressed as a fucking police officer and you do all the weird rape there is there is my understanding as a lot of Very strict rules. Oh, for example, if someone's like, I don't do anal you cannot do like that It's like that is a rule. Yeah, of course

And it's and so in the safe words, I think they really it's very regimented sex in a strange irony Well, I feel like I'm honestly if you're already constricted might as well also have be mentally constricted as well Well, because if you like dangerous tears, it's scary territory to you know, you know, but I think that's a part of why they like it Well, I like to smile. I like to smile When you have said you don't think that that's extremely so you're just No, I didn't like a shark, I'm not going ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Sometimes on the inside But I like to be having a good time well, of course, but to them that is a good time screaming with pain I guess so

I guess that's what I want Like how about a roller coaster, but it's like coming off the rails. Well Henry didn't have his own Henry didn't have his own anal experience on the flight over here when it turns out that your butthole was sitting on the seat, but um... Well, how many times do we have to talk about in... in... in my art? How many times have I expressed the fact that I have no ass meat? Much many, many times! I have legitimately no butt, and honestly I've been... I do my legs, now I'll lift leg weights,

you know, so I've been squatting them and doing stuff, I have a squeeze machine I'm doing... How's the butt coming in? Nothing. I think that it's actually... it's the opposite. I'm getting like, dimples on the side of it. That's good. That means there's muscle forming around it. No, it's just if you laid me down and put a hotdog right on my fucking butt crack, it looked like a little sweet little Coney Islander. Really? A little... a little bun there?

A little bun. A little Nathan's. Yeah, it's this little... like it's like two little brioche slider buns. My problem is that I... I... when I sit for a really long time, I knew the 15 hour flight to Australia was going to be very uncomfortable. Right, of course, of course. And you kind of mentally prepare yourself a little bit, but I was sitting on my fucking rim for 15 hours.

Yes, which is bad enough, but it turns out it wasn't just the seat you were sitting on. I was sitting for about four of those on the buckle. And I am still... honestly, I still kind of have phantom pains. I'm sure you do. You were sitting on solid stainless steel for four hours on your butt. American made. American... thank God. When I sat on the buckle, I'm sitting there... because the first thing would be like, oh God, my fucking butthole is falling apart. I'm going to get joints. I'm getting joints

in fucking Australia. Oh, no. Oh, no. Technically, this is a good place to have it. They have great healthcare here. I'm not going to the Australian doctor. No, it's free. You don't have to suck the guy's dick first or something? It's not America. Ah, mm-hmm.

But no, I thankfully wasn't bleeding from the asshole. Great. Well, just back to this story briefly. Thankfully. This monster, Christensen, first opened up about his ideas of abducting and killing a random person to university counselors in March of 2017. And they said nothing? I guess they can't say anything. I think that when they say that they want to abduct and murder, I'm fairly certain the oath that counselors take kind of goes out the window.

They're like, you need to go seek help. He said he was feeling suicidal because his wife wanted to leave him because he couldn't get a handle on his drinking and his drug use. So he just dropped out of his doctoral program to take a master's track instead while maintaining his teaching position, which I don't get how this guy got a teaching position. But this is according to Miller, the counselor. This is how desperately they need teachers. I guess so.

This is where they are going to for teachers. Next thing you know, we're going to have a dog teacher. Oh, that would be great. It's like he doesn't know how to do my homework. No, you think I'm not good enough to be in the class? I failed the class. My dad's going to kill me. You're just flicking me off of your paw.

I hate this fucking hard ass, hard nose dog professor. Apparently, he talked to this counselor. He said serial killer Bundy fascinated him. And this is what she said. She said he admitted that he had gone pretty far down the path of thinking about abducting someone, including how to do it, and admitted he'd identify the type of person he would have chose. So this is in April, he started frequenting a forum on the internet called Abduction 101

on a website for BDSM fetishes. Bullis, that's the girlfriend whom he met on OKCupid. If you are on it, get off of it, please, God. OKCupid. That's actually a good S&M version of that. Yes, with the permission of his wife had introduced him to the world of BDSM prosecutors say on the forum, he joined chats about, quote, perfect abduction fantasy and, quote, planning a kidnapping.

He wrote online that he would buy a duffel bag big enough to fit a body inside. And soon, when his wife went out of town for the weekend in June, he bought one off the internet. So this is interesting, though, Henry. And this is what I want to talk about there. It's like, remember the cannibal cop? I was just about to bring that up. I am staunchly against going after somebody for thought crime.

Exactly. Right? I understand that you can have a dark impulse and a dark, a kink. You can have these things and it's completely, entirely appropriate if you handle it correctly. Absolutely. And it all stays in the fantasy realm and consensual sex play. Exactly. But for these guys, I just can't help but feel that it's a slippery slope.

As soon as you go into this abduction world, being like, it does get to a point where it's like a drug. It's like when people, it's like when people, like the guy, this is a total non sequester, but the point here is, like the guy who tackled Bret Hart at his Hall of Fame induction speech, he literally thought he was going to be like, I'm going to be in the WWE now. I've done it. And it's like, you have a disconnect from realizing. Well, he must be truly mentally ill.

Right. Or this guy is truly mentally ill. The cannibal cop, you know, I don't know that obviously everything he did was, was fake. So just a quick recap on the cannibal cop. He was a police officer. He would go on these websites that talked about cannibalism, eating women and stuff like that. But now what put him into the other realm of possibility was, is this guy going to do this? In other words, was he bought all of the ropes?

He bought all of that shit. So then people and he also did look up because police obviously have a lot of information at their fingertips. He illegally used police profiles and police databases to potentially find victims. But what he would do, but then, but then he never did it. He didn't do anything. Right. But it was all about making his fantasy realer and realer and realer and realer.

And at what point, when does it tip? Exactly. Mostly I think the tip is, are you mentally ill or not? Are you an asshole or not? Like, are you, do you have psychopathic tendencies? Are you fucking schizophrenic? Do you have these things that can end up like where you truly can't discern reality and fantasy where you get so deep inside of your own fantasy that you can't see the edges of it?

I feel like that's the true difference where this fucking piece of shit obviously got lost. He got lost in the fantasy. I am, I'm going to go out on a limb and say, I don't think he has other victims. I think he has one victim. Oh, I don't think so. Yeah, I think so too. This is an extended fantasy that then it's saying what we kind of talk about a little bit about Ted Bundy himself, which is Ted Bundy probably exaggerated his own crimes.

We don't know whether or not he really did necrophilia or if he did any kind of stuff. We take it, we take it that he did. Right. And we, the last podcast left, we believe that at least 50 to 75% of it is real. It's one of the rare times where when it comes to talking to a sociopath, I give them the benefit of the doubt. They're like, Oh, you, you fucked the severed head of a corpse. I'm okay. I guess so.

But it seems to me there's also a psychological like he gets psychological pleasure from saying even something that's fake about the crimes that he's done because he gets the reaction that he wants what he actually gets off on or people going, Oh my God, I can't believe you can control the narrative of his entire arc. He can create a whole fucking D&D version of his serial killer life where he has created a backstory. He's created a series of victims and all this stuff. And he really just did it once. Well, evidently, so he told this therapist again, Miller that he was like going to clean up. He's like, I'm capable of cleaning up all the evidence and stuff.

Well, turns out that was also a lie. He eliminated every trace of the crime that he could think of. Draeno for the blood that went down the bathtub, bleach for the blood on the carpet and the bedroom walls. But he forgot a few things. He did not clean behind the baseboard and he did not clean under the carpet. And that's where the police found this poor, poor victims blood. And they also found, this is disgusting, a Louisville slugger baseball bat. The blood was nearly invisible, but it was on there too.

So it looks like he did something with a baseball bat. Let's talk about with the family murder. So a lot of horrible, horrible shit happened with gigantic objects. Yes. So police ended up enlisting his girlfriend at that point. And that's when the FBI put a wire on her. And thankfully this monster is caught before. I do believe he would have killed 13 people. Oh, absolutely. I think he wanted to. I think he was really excited about it.

I just think that I don't think he did it. I think it was all for talk because you just have to really let yourself go to be a serial killer. And honestly, I don't want to demean. I love teachers specifically. College professors are different because college professors can be on an ego trip. And some college professors that you're just like, you're not guy. I understand that in this room during this 90 minutes, you're a guy. You're the guy.

But a lot of them can be completely pretentious and up their own asshole and think that they really are like they buy into their own bullshit. Especially if you've been reading long enough about serial killers and you really do. And you think they're fucking cool. Like you think it's actually cool to be a serial killer. This piece of shit. We have this one with this other story that I think is really interesting. So this is out of, this is from whoTV.com. This is out of Lincoln, Nebraska.

This murder suspect slashes own throat in Nebraska courtroom. This is fucking kind of metal in a way. Oh, well, the guy's a monster, but yeah. So out of Omaha, Nebraska. An Nebraska man accused of killing a 24 year old woman slashed his own throat in the middle of his murder trial at the Saline County Courthouse Monday morning according to KMTV. Aubrey Trial shouted, Bailey is innocent and I curse you all. Before he slashed his neck and fell from a wheelchair during court proceedings. Trail was likely referencing 25 year old Bailey Boswell, who's also been charged with first degree murder in the gruesome death and dismemberment of 24 year old Sid and Gloof.

Boswell is awaiting trial. He swiped what may have been a pen across his neck. Deputies and others rushed to help Trail as he lay on the courtroom floor in Wilbur. Medics wheeled him out of the courthouse on a gurney and loaded him into an ambulance to give him medical aid. It's unclear what Trail's injuries are and when the trial might resume. So this dude is going to live. So evidently prosecutors say Loof's death was a planned abduction and killing kind of going back. That seems to be the theme of today's episode.

Trail's attorney says Loof's killing was an accident that occurred as she, Trail and Boswell played out a consensual sex fantasy. Again man you gotta be careful with this shit. You have got to be careful and obviously this man stabbing himself in the neck with a pen. I mean I don't think they're giving you silverware. I'm pretty sure lunch isn't being served in the courtroom. I'm actually really very surprised. We don't see more of this. Like freaking out in the middle of the fucking like doing another at the end of a trial.

You can get into some YouTube holes. As a matter of fact we were talking about this yesterday and this is why I talk about this on Ablegan's top bed all the time. Criminal justice reform is a must. We must get better as a country because it is horrible what's going on right now. But if you do get into a YouTube hole of sentencing videos you will, it is the saddest thing you can do. And people really, some of these people are total assholes and other of these people just got into a fist fight at a bar and some of these folks are just in situations that they couldn't avoid. Or they made a mistake and all of us have made mistakes in life.

So we have the real monsters and then a lot of the people who are, you know, are getting deeply, deeply punished for something that they're being made an example of or some fucking horrible bullshit. It's just over sentences all. Yeah. So if you get into a YouTube hole it is really interesting to see freakouts in court because the judge will literally be like do it again and then the person will do it again. They'll be like 10 more years. Do it again. 20 more years. Like they just throw these numbers out and for a lot of these defendants, many of them are very young, they don't like, when I was 18 I didn't know what 20 years was. No, I had no clue. We were talking about with Bonnie and Clyde. When they thought they were going to like, we're going to die,

we're going to do, we're going to go this, we're going to live this lifestyle until they fucking kill us. And it's like, you're 21 years old and you have no fucking clue what that means. Yes, and at 71 you're like, I would love to live just a little longer. Let me have more life. And so yeah, anyway, those are a couple of news stories. We'll get to Hero of the Week in a second, but we've got a couple of fun little letters here and Henry has one. Interim A, this is a funny story that was handed to me. This one goes out to Marcus. Really? All right.

Went to the store on Thursday. This is from a, this is a 4chan green text. Okay. All right. Went to the store on Thursday, bought a half gallon jar of pickles. Love me some pickles. Eat one as soon as I get home. Tastes good, man. Not bad. So good. I decide I'll have a few more. Walk back to my computer and start to work, but the urge is not sated. Not by a long shot. Come back to life giving pickle jar several more time. Eat several pickles each time. After an hour, the jar is empty. 400% of my daily sodium never tasted so good.

30 minutes later, I hear a churning in my stomach, not a light rumbling. Sounds like the noise in an old tub makes when you suddenly pull the drain. Initiate sprint to bathroom mode. Barely get my ass on the toilet as a fucking waterfall emerges from my asshole. Never in my life have relief and horror been such close bedfellows. After about 10 seconds of continuous flow, it subsides to a trickle and stops. Toilet water is green and smells like vinegar. Oh my.

Body didn't even try to digest that shit. Clean up and go back to your computer thinking, thank god that's over. Not even close. Oh my. Five minutes later, the rumbling is back, even louder this time. Sprint to bathroom, lather, rinse, repeat. This happens five more fucking times. It's finally all gone.

Stomach is concave. I've never had less food inside my body. Completely cleaned out. Cue rumble. Said I toilet, but it's different this time. I know there's nothing in there. Shit out a tiny amount of liquid immediately feel better. Well, I guess there was just one tiny bit left.

That wasn't so. All at once, the burning fire of a thousand young suns steps upon my anal stricter. I just shat out pure stomach acid. Frantically wiped my ass to prevent it from melting away like a spaceship, like the spaceship floor in alien. Crawl and shower, turn cold water on full blast and lie prone while gently sobbing. Eventually towel off and crawl exhausted into bed at three in the afternoon. Sleep for 14 hours. In retrospect, it was all totally worth it.

I love me some pickles. All right. Well, a good pickle story indeed. And speaking of poo poo, this story was sent to me. This is actually from Reddit, but it was sent to me from a listener on our side story is LPOTL at gmail.com account. Vince McMahon once shat himself and chased briscoe around backstage. Okay. So this is the story.

So the Genesis is that, okay. So again, for those that don't know, Jerry, Gerald briscoe, he works with Vince McMahon. He's a long, long time dude in the professional wrestling industry. So Vince just shat himself. So why did it all happen? Evidently, Jim Ross went on Opie and Nancy's radio show and just like totally spilled the beans on this. And everyone's like, that was, that was an inside story. Yeah, that's supposed to be told.

Yeah. So the story was well back over a decade ago when Vince was doing that heel character he did. He was Mr. McMahon. It was the stone cold era. It was pretty kickass stuff. So evidently, Gerald briscoe, he was working the gorilla position, which is the dude who times out all the segments. Basically just makes sure the show is moving right on time because obviously these events are live and you got to have it tight. So before going out for his little segment, Vince McMahon went over to Gerald briscoe and tried to fart in his face.

This man is a 70 year old. At this point he would be a 65 year old man. So he tries to fart in his old buddy's face, but accidentally shit himself and we'll tell more stories like this on my kind of fun wrestling podcast. Vince went over to briscoe's face, accidentally shit himself. He went to the ring for his segment, did it with no problem. The brown stain was visible in the back of his khaki pants and the camera people were all aware, but didn't dare shoot it. Yeah. That's all the story he told the way the story was told at the time is that when he came back, he must have changed clothes and was holding the loaded old pants.

He tried to chase briscoe down with them to make him vomit and triple H grab briscoe and held him in place so he couldn't get away. But briscoe used one of his old amateur moves and reversed and escaped because his boss has just soiled his pants, taking them off and is running down the halls attempting to, I assume, put the dookie in his face. That is too fucking funny, dude. That is too fucking. What a fucking monster. I cannot wait, again, kind of fun. July 1st, we're going to have a little 15 minute episode just introducing you to myself and Katie Dirks, who is awesome, but we'll tell wrestling stories like that because there are a lot. There are a lot. And especially with him.

It seems like I hear so many stories about him because I knew people who wrote for the WWE and he was a fucking nightmare, dude. He really was. Okay, well, I think it's time for Hero of the Week. What do you think, Henry? I think so. I think there's a couple of things. You know, I want to say thank you to the people who reached out to actually told me the process of how I could buy a Tommy Gunn. Oh, how do you get it? You got to get a Class 3 weapons license and then you could actually get it. You also can go to a place where you could rent a Tommy Gunn and just shoot it.

Are you going to do that with you? You can do that. I wish I could. Oh, yeah, buddy. Maybe we're doing that. Maybe for Marcus's bachelor party. Kiss all. He doesn't listen to this, so this is a good way to do this.

Yeah. That's a great idea. He hates listening to this. He doesn't listen. He doesn't want to hear more of us talking. No, no. Why would he do that? We could actually.

That's good. Wow. Tommy Gunn bachelor party. That's it. All right. Great. Well, we figured that out. Thank you.

It's so easy. All right. Hero of the Week. It's also nice because it gets us out of camping. Well, we could camp and shoot the guns. No. I don't want to camp. You want to glamp.

We'll glamp. How's that? I want to go in. If there's a launch. Henry, can't you just be a man? One. Just one weekend. I am a man.

I know you're a man, but can't you be like a tougher one? I don't know. All right. Recordings of number stations. I love listening to them and it is... It can be a good thing. Here I go! Here I go!

Here I go! Here I go! Here I go! Here I go! Here I go! Here I go! Hi. Hi. It's time for Hero of the Week, and this week's hero is

Dr. Marywanna Pepsi. She won't change her name just to make other people happy. happy marijuana Pepsi's mother told her that her birth name would take her places and she wasn't wrong after a life spent being mocked for her unusual name this 47 this 46 year old seized on her experience to earn a PhD in higher education leadership as of last week marijuana Pepsi is now doctor marijuana Pepsi I'm really really happy that she kept it absolutely for her does she say anything about how that fucking happened her mom just said she wanted to give her

a unique name and maybe they both love marijuana and love Pepsi so they named her the daughter after the things they love the most and there it is there no consideration for a human's life you know but she's doing great and honestly she's great yeah great you got a little you got Mary obviously you just call yourself Mary is a short man or a Juana do you like that Juana is like it's obviously your name is fucking it's Juana man oh yeah yeah but this is marijuana Pepsi for her dissertation she it was titled black names in white classrooms teacher behaviors and student perceptions and she said it is with she

says that people are treated differently with distinctively black names although I'm not sure this is a distinctive black name or a distinctive white name or a distinct evasion name I think marijuana Pepsi holds no racial connotation just really a lot of that but the point is obviously made so she told NPR a lot of other people were thinking my mom was smoking marijuana and drinking Pepsi but she says in the black community we're used to having names that are more cultural and again I am not sure I don't know if it counts as cultural but he definitely is a it's interesting where you could just I mean anybody can name

anything absolutely my father very well could have named me Budweiser if you named it after what you truly loved besides me but aside the fact that I am a junior so they did love him I will say her mom who also gave birth to daughters Robin and Kimberly with marijuana Pepsi so she is the hero of the week because she did not bend it to the pressures of others as they were making fun of her name and she said you know what instead I shall go become a doctor so congratulations doctor marijuana Pepsi you are the hero of the week dude it's fucking great all right everyone will thank you all so much for listening we

have just again we can't say it enough I'm you're probably sick of hearing it no we're just so we're obsessed we've just never done this shit before in our lives we have no clue we've never traveled like this no absolutely insane you come across the world and people actually give a shit about what you say on the other side of the goddamn planet it is humbling and very intense it is it's such a dream come true and we don't take any of this experience for granted because this is a once-in-a-lifetime thing and it's just such a thrill to be able to travel with our best friends and I don't know for all

you honestly I'm so scared of the 15-hour trip back for my poor oh your butthole is already is there a thing for okay but you put that put some fast lean on there no that's just gonna make it my fucking asshole stick to my underwear and then I'm gonna get a big grease stain I'm gonna look like I shat my pants like Vince McMahon yes I'm gonna look like I'm the old old Leo days oh yeah the fat free chips I remember the old lean leakage is there anybody out there who works with like I don't know what industry this would be maybe podiatry something is there like a like a little pillow not the donut I

don't need a full you just want it on your butthole yeah I'm sure that that exists it's a hemorrhoid treatment I'm sure there's a little like tea packet size like little like maybe that would put too much attention on it maybe it needs to be like a like a sort of like a tampax like a like a big like a like the pad that shape but like an inflatable little pillow I could sneak under my balls why don't you just do that just get a tampax pack no that doesn't have enough weight I need it you know what really have inflatable no that's not that's not what I mean that's not the hmm actually wow maybe you're right I

don't know maybe I put it inside of my pants dude do they have adhesive things in it I think you if you peel it back I believe that there is a little wings yes and then she could put those on your butt cheeks and then you could have I don't want to think about this my god all right everyone I'll shave little patches great I could actually probably it's a really nice hotel that we're at I could probably ask them to do it for me you think that'll be a good idea I think you can ask a barber to do that yeah who else would you ask I think that's a wife no no no you can't let there's love's got nothing to do with that I

remember that rendition yeah but second hand is her beautiful I think that that would be something if people do Brazilians on women is there nobody where you can go where you can someone can wax the because it's not my asshole it would be essentially just my cheeks because I do the I trim them I have to trim them because if not I get full squirrel lumps down there why need is someone to go back there and really fully fucking and then take it off but not actually waxing I probably scream hmm well you're like you do remind me of Mickey Rourke from the wrestler but totally different nothing but you know

what I'm coming back yeah this is about that oh this is what that's about yeah a comeback you got a triple L baby no you do you know love you got a love you got a love who loves you that's sometimes that's what embrace where the love comes really difficult it is hard because sometimes I mean cuz even if you technically if you cultivate a terrible fan base and they love you that it is a problem but at the same time that is your fan base so you enjoy them well we have a wonderful fan base so laugh like you got all the patches that you need fucking pulled from your asshole oh you got a perfectly like you laugh like you

were born with two clear strips of skin right around your asshole that you can attach a heavy flow tampon to protect it it's a very specific laughter yes but and live live you bitch live just I don't know why yeah if you bitch just yes live live indeed I'm all right everyone hail yourselves my ghost a legend hail me and thank you for your support absolutely we love you support in this hard time I guess it's him I guess this is actually ending certain relationships spouses are breaking up with each other this is probably very early on in the relationship but if you find out you follow your significant other followed

OJ some people are saying that's a red flag that that person isn't good I feel like if you have a lady in your life and you follow him I looked at his followers it's a lot of women I mean that they're fucked up they fucked up yes see fuckers this show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcastnetwork.com