Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Fake Baby

Episode Date: November 21, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a Louisiana man satisfies a diaper-changing fetish at his own peril, a moral hacker, and MORE.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop. On the left. Side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Fear is the mind killer, Kissel. I remember that. That's important to remember. Dune has really been helping me through a sort of a, not a trying time, but I've been having, you know, whatever, mental storms. It's really important to remember to let fear pass through you, because when fear passes through you, turn around fear is gone. There's no one left but you. How is Dune, that's just called getting a divorce and living on a beach and becoming homeless. How is Dune helping you overcome fear? Isn't the entire thing a post-apocalyptic dystopian hell world that technically is everyone's living, breathing fear? You could not be more ignorant as a person. It is about the making of a God, both outside and inside.

People are all sort of like, there's a cynical edge and the idea of like, when does fake metaphysics become real? Like the idea of implanted rumor and all this can become a real religion, but there's also real magic and energy underneath it. The idea that even a God has problems, that's what it says. The only way that you are having this manifested itself, manifest itself in your reality is trying to convince people I drink Bud Light Lime. That is the only thing that you have let. I've already won there. Yes, I know you have won this dispute. I was completely correct. I wasn't lying about it. You did spend a period of time trying a bunch of different beers and you did it during Roundtable. And in one day, someone will find the audio clip because I know it is out there.

You think that's good for our careers to have our audience go mind Roundtable of Gentlemen? You think that's a good idea? I'm just saying, what helps you through trying times, Gisle? Thinking about puffing. You know what? I just get through them. I don't know what I do. It's hard. Work out. It is hard. You work out? I know you love hitting the weights. Pounds of spaghetti. Yeah, buddy. Honestly, I mostly do just eat.

A beer has got 12 ounces. It does, or 24 ounces or 16 ounces, depending on the size of the can. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben, hanging out with Henry Zabrowski. Stress-free. Stress-free. Henry Zabrowski. But you know what? I'm not free of knowledge about breast milk. Oh, my God. Thanks, everyone, who sent us an email, again, Side Stories, L-P-O-T-L, at gmail.com. My God, I learned so much about breast milk, bosoms in general, and I read the word swollen about 30 times, and it was not because I was reading a muscle magazine.

The term, when my breasts get rock hard, it's now, like, I just, I'm so, my body's so confused. And as I'm reading it, and then I explain it to Natalie, and I'm just like, all my whole body's, like, twisting around because I don't have one of those, like, pregnant fetishes. Like, I'm not into that. I think it's, I mean, like, go for it. You go, girl. You know what I mean? If you want to cover your, if you want to cover the fetus society with a bunch of strange men's cum, I don't know if that works. Like, I don't know. You do it. It does not work that way. It does not. There's a, it's a womb. There's a womb.

It still builds up all around it. I, you know what, I can't speak to this. I don't know. I don't know. I just know it's not hitting it. It's, it's gonna protect, it's protected in a cocoon. But it's getting splattered like a fucking Pollock painting. It doesn't matter. Again, anyways. But as I'm, I'm explaining this, Natalie's like, why does my downstairs get all turned around about this? And she's like, because you're a hopeless man that is, who's penis is evil

and is making, is saying confused things. She's like, the breast milk and all that stuff is, is natural and normal. And it's not sexual. It's good. It's, it's just how you feed the baby. And I'm like, but big rock hard breast. That's what my penis gets. Yes, of course. Well, I'm just happy. Not like I get about it. I'm just saying in the terms of when I am aroused, the penis gets rock hard. But then you're just saying to breast get rock hard because they go jam full of milk. And then I went, I felt the gallon of milk in my refrigerator.

And I was like, like this. And she was like, we have to have separate time for like 30 minutes. Well, yeah, because now you're putting nipples on the gallon of milk that's in your refrigerator. You're 2%. This is not healthy. I'm just all confused. I'm all confused. I don't know. It is confusing stuff. I'm just happy that Natalie is treating you the same way that Ed Gein's mother treated him where she's like, your penis is bad. And that's not going to lead you down a road, a dark, dark path of mayhem and madness. No, my penis being bad is great for me as a husband.

Very good. So thank you all for sharing your stories. The information I've learned so much about how, because that woman who spread, this is all about the story last week where we covered in Relax Fit, about a woman squirted her breast milk all over her crowd and everyone was like, oh, you know, it sounds like it was fun. But they apparently, I got one good suggestion is they think that that woman might have just been at the festival and had been drinking all day and then knows you can't give the booze filled milk to the baby and then your breasts get all full, right? They hit the F on the thing and then they, so the milk kind of has to come out. Well, this is a, this is from just, we can read one of these emails anyway.

This one's just called Full Boobies and it's from CF, we'll call her. And she said having full, having breasts and gorge with breast milk is incredibly painful. So maybe the chick at the party was just like, I gotta unload the weight. Oh yeah buddy. Like my dad used to unload the truck after he was done driving to Minneapolis from Wisconsin. Just like it. Just like it. Just like it.

She says they become hard and heavy and begin to leak. Oh Henry, I can see you're downstairs. We waking up now. I'm not even trying to be awake. I don't want it to be awake because of this. I just want to be like, oh. Sleepy. She says it's not like having to pee.

It's more like having blue balls. I don't know how she knows what having blue balls feels like, but I'm assuming someone explained to her in great detail what she did to them. And the pain worsens as it initially is expelled. Did you hear this term from these emails? Let down? No. Let down, that is when it doesn't feel like much of anything, just not pain anymore. That's it.

So if you have like. Is that good? I guess that's good. I don't exactly know what's perfect or anything like that when it comes to this. But the term let down, I read many, many times. And then there was another woman that wrote in and she said she had so much breast milk. She didn't even know what to do with it. Like Brewster's Millions, remember that when Richard Pryor had all that money, he's like, what do I even do with it?

Yeah. So that's kind of fun too. Well, you know what? This has been a great breast milk corner. And listening to two almost 40 year old men will do well, nowhere near having children. Don't want children. Don't have children. Don't plan on having children.

Having us talk about it, I'm certain is really, I guess is enjoyable for some of the pregnant women that listen to us. And again, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone. I'm just, I'm so sorry. You know what? Never apologize for learning, Henry, because that's what we're doing. We are learning. We are.

And also another correction from fucking last week's side stories where Ben Kissel happened to say the words, Marcus Parks and Carolina are having a baby, which is a mistake. They just want to have a baby. So stop messaging Carolina saying congratulations on having a baby for the love of God. Stop doing that. It's a mistake. We made a mistake. I'm sorry.

Kissel said I'm- At the adult swim festival, Marcus looks at me and he's like, So, Ben, do you remember what you talked about on side stories last week? I was like, oh, man, you know, we record so much content. And it's like, yes, usually I get it out. And then I kind of like, whatever. He's like, so anyway, Caroline's been getting a lot of messages. Do you have any idea what those messages might be about?

Like, about how good, like, you know, her with the Mads are? Like, how beautiful she is. How she's got a funny new set up on YouTube. No, Kissel, you dumb drunk asshole. It's congratulations for being pregnant. And then I literally was like, I didn't tell anyone she was pregnant. He's like, I listened to the episode and you said the sentence, Marcus and Carolina are having a baby.

And I was like- No, no. They're just most likely to. They're most likely to, I don't know, that's it. But it's not happening yet. It's not happening. No. It hasn't been terminated.

It's just not happening yet. No, don't even- No, there's nothing. They're trying. They're gonna- They might be- No, don't even say that. Because they don't even know, we don't even know what that means

or what's even happening. Yeah, they're fucking. But I don't know what you're trying to have a baby even means. But of course they're fucking. They're newly married. They're having a good time. But no, no babies around anywhere. I don't know.

All I know is if you wanted to have an audible interpretation of what it sounds like to dig your hole even deeper, it was just the conversation Henry and I just had. I'm just sorry. I don't know what we've done. I'm sorry to everyone. Okay. That's a blanket apology that we have to do every morning.

I'm sorry to everyone. I'm sorry to everyone. Every morning. And now here comes another guy who needs to say I'm sorry. This comes from nola.com. A New Orleans man posed as handicapped to obtain home health care for sexual purposes, police say. Now this is by Ramon Antonio Vargas.

And Matt Sledge. Oh. A New Orleans man who told investigators he enjoyed being treated as an infant pretended to have mental and physical disabilities in order to obtain a babysitter who unwittingly changed his diaper on several occasions over their course of more than a year. Speaking of breastfeeding. This is a little bit ridiculous here, this guy.

I mean, this is not good. Yeah, Kissel. You know what? You can't just do that. This reminds me of the deeper, deeper, deeper. This guy, what is going on? What is happening with these people who need the butt wiped? These people are really, people just are complicated, Ben.

I'm going to call you Benjamin. Thank you. Benjamin, people are complicated. I know, but Henry, he's in New Orleans. You're telling me you can't throw a rock and find someone with a baby fetish in New Orleans. They're all hammered off a grenade. He somehow Louis C. K. to baby fetish at somebody.

You know what I mean? He presented them and surprised them with a baby fetish. His name is Rutledge Deus the fourth. He told investigators that he had suffered severe childhood trauma and being cared for like a baby brought him back to a time and place where he was at peace. So, good? What they say here is that they come, I think it's bad.

Because according to court records, Deus, whose nickname is Rory, used the Urban Sitter app to hire a local college student to care for a non-existent 18-year-old brother named Corey. Deus told the 20-year-old woman that Corey needed someone to handle him with tough toddler gloves. Additionally, Deus... Hold on a second. I've gone to those.

I had to go get one of those Babies Are Russ or whatever when my friend was pregnant way back in the day, a little gift card. I never saw the tough toddler glove section. Because it's not actually for a child. It's for a man dressed as a toddler. Additionally, Deus, posing as Corey, sent text messages telling the woman he would require potty training, the changing of his diaper, and a child's booster car seat.

The woman babysat the man she thought was Corey at least 10 times, during which she changed his soil diapers. He would become visibly aroused and suck on a baby's pacifier during the changes. Oh my goodness. The woman never met his purported older brother, who paid her through an Apple online payment app. I like how they put that on there. Apple helped.

I mean, honestly, thank you, Apple Wallet. That's exactly what people are using your product for. But the babysitter became suspicious after Deus tried to use the Venmo app out of nowhere, because she looked up the profile on the app and the sitter spotted a transaction between Deus and a second man. She searched the second man's list of Facebook friends and spotted a profile there under the name of Rory Deus, and she said that that profile depicted the man she believed to be Corey.

Can you imagine? Oh my God, this is so disgusting. Can you imagine? Can you imagine this shit? Because he's in full character. I don't even know how this happened. But he's in there going like, He's not in full character.

He's like the baby from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. He's smoking a cigar. He's on his cell phone using Venmo. What toddler uses Venmo? No, they said that they found him. But he had a go between. They said that he was mentally handicapped and he couldn't control his own body.

And so she'd go in there. He's like, how he's in there. But I don't know how this kind of worked out. There seemed a lot of yada, yada, yada's in there. But she walked in because she was a part of a health care association. She goes in. She's a full grown man going like,

Me making the pudding tonight. My mate's so much pudding to die. Me thinks it's my beef stroganoff. Well, I don't think he's that force gun, Corey. I don't know. I don't know what he's sounding like. I'm just making up a character, okay? And so she goes there to clean up his full adult dump.

And when she pulls it off of him, penis is rock hard and he's giving it like a wink. Like he's getting it like, thank you. Oh, it is a tip for you, I knit. You know what I mean? So this is, I mean, because I don't care. I watched real sex. There's a lot of baby fetishes out there.

A lot of big diapers happening. I understand people. Do whatever you want. Do whatever you want. Do whatever the fuck it is that you want. It's got to be more for this person. It's got to be more the bait and switch. I mean, because now this has gone from sexual fetish

to extreme crime and of the sexual nature. Yes, sexual assault. Yeah, this woman. Oh yeah, man. It seems like it's like. So what's he being charged with now? He got charged with sexual assault. And they also found crystal meth and a clear glass pipe

in his home. Which seems to be a little bit of the motivation. Maybe you gave him the confidence boost. Maybe he's from South Dakota. Did you see the new South Dakota ad campaign? Yes. We're on meth. And it's like, that's the problem.

But at no point where they're like, we're trying to solve the problem. No, we're just letting you know. We know. We know, yeah. Brooks Whelan had a very funny tweet that he said. He's like, I bought this shirt in fucking a Des Moines Spencer since 2003, which is fucking hilarious.

Brooks Whelan, a very funny comedian. But these, oh my God, sexual battery and human trafficking is what he's been ordered with. Oh my. It's what he's being accused of. I don't know how you put that term. Also, isn't like, you're this poor girl, 20 years old, obviously a good person.

No 20 year old I ever hung out with. We're like, I'm going to skip the party. I've got to go take care of people who defecate in their diapers. And they're 40. No, she's a good person. She's a good person. She's a good person. Shouldn't the facility that sent her there,

the company that was like, you know, hey, we found one for you. Do you want to go help this person? They have a mental handicap they need to be taken care of. Shouldn't they vet him a little bit? I don't know. Shouldn't they like go over to the house and just be like, let me see your Venmo.

Like, who's your favorite sports team? And if he doesn't, if he says like, you know, the Milwaukee Brewers, you'd be like, okay, well that's a baseball team. Yeah, well, yeah, he's watching. He's obviously following like the over unders. Like he's got some kind of sports betting book. Yeah, this guy.

Yeah, if he goes like, I like the ice cream man, then you know, oh, we got to be clean and this guy's diaper. Right. I just feel like, I mean, she got totally set up here. And she went there. Yeah, she got set up. Yeah.

Ten times. It's really difficult. That's a lot of times. Because also, I think mental handicappery has many gradients, right? And there are people that are like, maybe it's something about not being able to, maybe they're super smart

and they can play any piano song if you play. Like if you play them a piano song and they can play it right back and you're like, oh, this guy's a genius. But it turns out he can't clean his own dump. You know what I mean? But it does that, what does that make him? Or it just makes him essentially Mel Gibson

for a man without a face, but he can't wipe his own dump, right? Well, that doesn't, I mean, that's not huge, nor could Stephen Hawkins. I mean, you know, he needed help. He can't wipe his own dump. But he fucking, is he a mentee? Can you say that word?

No, you cannot say that word. Mentally, mentally, I don't know what to say. Handicapped. No, what's the proper term? Mentally handicapped. Is that it still? I'm sorry to everybody. So this guy, I guess, when he goes to prison,

because he probably needs to be in prison. But he at least needs, he needs like a, how do you say this? He needs a redo. He needs the whole thing. But just because you can't wipe your own butt, that has nothing to do with your brain. Your brain could be very high functioning.

That's physical. Yeah, what if you don't have any arms? I guess, I mean, I guess you can use like a stomp or something. I think that they do something like that. Like, don't they have a mechanism for people with no arms where there's kind of like a stand with toilet paper at the end of it that they could just rub their butt on? I think that's what they used to do in the Roman Coliseums.

Or do they have, I guess they have hooks. I don't, I think they, I'm sorry to everyone. Whatever it is, whatever it is. This man, he doesn't need a nurse. He needs a corrections officer to go in there and take care of business. Maybe you'll find a celly that has a baby fetish. If you got a baby fetish,

it just has to be websites that you can go to, get connected with someone who wants to be mommy or daddy, I suppose, and you'll find love. Unfortunately, I assume that a part of the fetish is the surprise as the mean of a baby, like it's that edge of it, which is why he's doing this, where he could have done it, or if you just went to some kind of stellar addler, stellar addler acting work where he really could have understood

the baby part of him or found a desperate person to be with that would be with you and with your baby fetish, but technically your celly would need to have a nanny fetish. Well, there has to be something going on there that is consensual. All right, well, that guy's going to go to jail. What, how much time is he looking at? They didn't say. They don't say, but it's, it should be a pretty good amount of time

because it's just ruined that poor girl. It's like six months. That's a long time. That's it? I don't know. We're going to fake baby? If I touch one person's Duke, then I do not have to have to. If I found out Puffin, if I found out Puffin was able to take a bag

and pick up his own poop and I saw him do it one day, I'd be like, I cannot believe the level of mistrust, the abuse. I would, I mean, the only reason I pick up his poop, and I cheer him for his poops is because I know he can't physically do it. But if I found out he's walking on two legs, you come home early from one thing and you find Puffin like up on two legs at the stove, making hamburger helper. What?

Puffin? You couldn't cook for me this whole time? Oh my God. He and Natalia show up, the 35 year old dwarf. I tell you what though, if I ended up touching somebody's Duke, if I was a nurse and I showed up and I was wiping you and you got hard and it didn't turn out that you were in a mentee, I tell you what. I don't think you can say that.

Mental handicap. I'm sorry to everyone. There we go. But what I would do is I wouldn't be guilty of fucking murder because I would flip out. Yeah, that's why you're not a nurse. Yeah, I'm not a nurse. No kidding.

Nurses work are the hardest working human beings that live. I agree. And we've said it before. Natalie's mom's a nurse. Oh, shout out, shout out to the people at Natalie's mom's hospital that all work and listen to the show. What's going on guys? Keep doing the hard work out there, keeping people alive.

Yeah, well, they're going to love your recent assessment on certain people's conditions. I'm sorry to everyone. There you go. Now you're getting it. No, nurses are, they are doing the work that is so needed. And they're taking care of the parents that children throw away. And they're not, they're not allowed to throw them away because parents are dead ways to keep them alive.

No, parents are very good. I mean, they can be. Yeah, that depends. That's a toss up. Right from your grave, right from your grave. Well, let's move on here a little bit. Let's talk about hackers. You know, you know, Henry, I always fantasized about being a hacker,

but then I realized I, you got to be so smart. You can't get your fingers. Your fingers are too big to hit the keys specifically enough fast enough to hack into the mainframe. Oh my God, I know. I was, I was trying to tweet about the documentary hail yourself America. and I put it on Twitter and I didn't hit W-W-W, I hit W-W-E.HailYourselfAmerica.com

and then everyone made fun of me. And it was an auto correct by Twitter because they thought I was talking about wrestling instead of plugging my work that I try so hard on. Have you looked at getting like keyboards with bigger letters on them like they do for people who have only nubs? Not yet.

I'm gonna wait until the Daub Midis takes my fingers. Yeah, buddy, you did government keyboard, man. But no, hackers in my mind, when I hear the term hackers, I just think of Angelina Jolie. Yeah. Always. And then Dennis Miller from the net.

Sure, and then the blind guy, you're thinking of sneakers. What? Sneakers. Oh, that's Robert Redford. Huh. Finneas Fisher, he offers $100,000 bounty to hack banks and oil companies.

This is an article that's coming in from Vice. This is their motherboard thing. Very, very exciting. He's a vigilante hacker known for his hits on surveillance companies. He's launching a new kind of bug bounty to reward hacktivists who do public interest hacks and leaks. This guy's name, Finneas Fisher.

I think that's just what he's known as because no parents would actually name their child Finneas Fisher because you don't know. People are bored. That's true. So he published a manifesto on Friday and how exciting it is to live in a world where you can publish a manifesto in your underwear,

well-wearing black socks, mustard stains all over your shirt. You can be like the supervillain you wanna be online while looking like the super nerd you are in real life. I love the world. That's the only way manifestos are written. Manifestos are never written. I mean, honestly, but I'm the opposite. I kinda have this more Satanist principle

of I'm gonna do something truly evil when I finally decide to let the old world know about my pain. What I will do is don my Phantom of the Opera mask, have a cloak, and then use that to write it out with a quill. I think presentation is incredibly important. Yeah, but if you write it with a quill, you're just gonna be writing on your television

or your computer screen. No, I'll go to Michaels. I'll go to Michaels. Yeah, but how are you gonna get one quill, you're gonna write a mill, you gotta write, you gotta get this to 10 million people. No, I photocopy it, Xerox, full costume. Full costume, I go to Kinkos

and I just run the manifesto the old school way and people being like, making copies of your manifesto. Yes, citizen. Hurry up, because I gotta take a photocopy of my butt. What? That's illegal at Kinkos now, that's sexual assault. Okay, here it is. So the post in the manifesto by Phineas Fisher,

he says, I'm going to give $100,000 in what he called the hacktivist bug hunting program. The idea is to pay other hackers who carry out politically motivated hacks against companies that would lead to disclosure of documents in the public interest. And the hacker said he will pay everyone in cryptocurrency, such as Bitcoin or Monero,

which sounds extremely fun. As an example of targets, the hacker mentioned mining and livestock companies in South America, Israeli spyware vendor, NSO group and oil company, Halliburton. This is one of those things where I know it's wrong. I know you're not supposed to be like stealing all this private information,

but can you imagine if we got the actual brains, the actual content inside of the brains of the people in Halliburton? The beauty of the internet for me is what I always thought was gonna happen, especially when the first uprising of Anonymous where that there would be kind of more of this, this kind of what we were promised

in the movies of the 1990s, these massive movements of hackers doing all this kind of shit. Well, obviously it's difficult because innocent people will, in the line of this, it's like, unfortunately, like Halliburton, they're still temps and like admins that are not necessarily the evil people

that are involved with Halliburton. They just have a job. And in America, unfortunately, if you don't have a steady source of income because of the way our country works, capitalistic system, you're fucking gonna be fucked if you don't have money coming in. So you take whatever jobs available

and we've been taught from very early age you need to be super thankful for whatever work you can get, no matter how crooked and fucked up it is. But that being said, I don't think they necessarily need their lives ruined, but at the same time, but again, the internet's just fucking free, man.

The internet's a gigantic crazy ocean of bullshit. Who knows what's gonna happen? Well, it's getting cracked down on a regular basis. Phineas Fisher wrote this in the manifesto. He says, hacking to obtain and leak documents with public interest is one of the best ways for hackers to use their abilities to benefit society. He goes on to say, I'm not trying to make anyone rich.

I'm just trying to provide enough funds so that hackers can make a decent living doing a good job. And then I'm assuming they can buy Mountain Dew and they can buy Snickers. I don't know what hackers really do with their lives. They could also be felt very handsome people. I don't know. I think they've been pushing back.

I think hackers are kind of doing like what Jack from Twitter kind of does and they're actually getting more into fitness in order to obliterate the stereotype that hackers look like me. You know what I mean? Essentially they're getting out there. I think they're getting jacked

and they're eating healthier because they know for a fact. I think some of them probably, you know, they indulge in the dude. Well, you do have to stay awake and it is very- Gotta have a cheat day. Of course, it's very clear. So most bug bounty programs are run by companies

to encourage security researchers to find bugs in their software. Cause that's what's going to end up happening here. Perhaps a lot of these hackers end up actually improving the security of the places that they hack and then the hackers got to go around like super viruses. The way that they're like, no, yes, you've tried to kill me with your vaccines.

I don't think so. Polio 2.0, I'm back baby. The US government oftentimes will hire people that have hacked them. Like when they got out of jail, they hire them and then they use them for the business. They help and go help us secure all of our bullshit. Help you make sure that people like you can't get in.

I mean, I don't know because it's just one of those. How do you apply morality and laws to what is essentially free flowing the subconscious? Like the internet is just a giant amorphous thing that is growing and changing like the ocean, like all of these, it is a whole, and it's just our thoughts that kind of constantly mutating it and moving it.

How do you say what's right and what's wrong on a thing that's just all of our brains uploaded onto one fucking tube? So Phineas Fisher, he's one of the most influential and well-known hacktivists since the days of Anonymous and Lowell's Sec. In 2014, the hacker stole internal data from the British German surveillance vendor, Gamma Corp,

which makes the controversial spyware, Fin Fisher, which we were talking about, I believe when it comes to facial recognition. A year later, Phineas Fisher came back and broke into the servers of the hacking team. He hit a Spanish police union, Turkey's ruling party in 2016. It seems like, yes, I know it's not necessarily

quote unquote, right, but it seems like he does have a moral code, which I think is something that a Julian Assange type lost. I think as soon as Julian Assange sort of became a puppet of the Russians, it all kind of fell apart because he had, everyone will always end up having a boss. You know, everyone.

I mean, I feel the same thing with Edward Snowden. If Edward Snowden was not in Russia being protected right now, I would love the information that he would be digging up on the Kremlin, but you can't, you can't. No, I want to know. I want to know what he's doing. But Edward Snowden actually, he came out

and he said that he checked to see if the CIA had any documents about aliens and they did not. But I do believe the reason why that that is true, if that is, if there are, I am still not sure where I'm at with idea of like covert organizations, housing actual physical aliens, like nuts and bolts, and crafts, and shit like that. But again, I believe all of that stuff

would be outsourced to private companies. I think that there is folds within folds that would be outside of the main dome of the CIA so that essentially the CIA has plausible deniability, no matter what. Folds within folds, sounds like you're describing our bodies on a- Yeah, do it, finish it.

Dating site. Yeah, body. Phineas Fisher goes on to say, I think hacking is a powerful tool and hacktivism has only been used to a fraction of its potential and a little investment can help to develop that. The golden years of hacktivism are yet to come.

So, there you go. I just want a hacker to break into the mainframe and send me some of that Popeye's chicken sandwich into my house for free. Yeah, I agree, I agree. Phineas Fisher says, he says, quote, I robbed a bank and gave the money away. Computer hacking is a powerful tool

to fight economic inequality. And so, yeah, anyway, it's quite interesting what's going on there. You can read this article, you can finish it up. And, you know, he goes, he finishes up with sort of saying, the global financial elite are oppressors, not victims, hacking that elite and returning the tiniest fraction of the wealth that they've stolen

doesn't make them victims. He finishes by saying, it is cyber crime. It is also activism. It's motivated by a desire for social change. I'm not personally profiting or benefiting from it. So this guy, despite the fact that this week's hero of the week is a little bit goofier, because, you know, that's how I like to do it.

But this guy in his own mind is also a hero. And if he can stay true to his original intention, I think it's good to keep these wealthy ass institutions on their toes and let them know we're watching. My feeling is neutral. I do believe that we are headed towards a sci-fi future. Like, yeah, this is all of these weird things that are just pushing us towards the future, man.

This is the kind of stuff that we've been reading about, like since, like, Snow Crash, the idea of, like- This is the kind of stuff that you've been reading about. This is the kind of stuff I've been screaming about. This is, see, you're more comfortable. The nice thing is, when you're reading your dunes now, I do think you are more prepared just with the amount of nerd content

you've consumed your entire life. You know what it is? I'm more comfortable with the chaos that is coming. I feel I'm just more comfortable with the idea of entertaining these ideas and letting them kind of go in and out of my mind and not letting them, not necessarily, casting judgment immediately upon them

and more so looking at and understanding that the flow of time will change all things. Time is the great equalizer. But isn't that, thank you, bumper sticker. But isn't that the problem? Co-exist. Co-exist, co-exist. It's always the exact same white woman

that just wants to co-exist. But isn't that the scary part, though? You're the frog, you've been heating up your own pot. You're already getting used to this. I'm the kind of guy, I hear the story about the dude who shot down the drone, I think, in Wyoming because the dude who operated it was trying to spy on his daughters in the backyard.

He shot it down with a shotgun. That's different. You're gonna take these drones down. That's different, that's again. But it's about case by case, all right? Yes, is it bad to photograph little girls in a backyard with their drone? Absolutely.

Is it wrong to use drones to scare a bunch of industry professionals to say no to me for my various projects? No, that is activism. That is activism, and I'm getting to the center of it. But I think we need to be more comfortable with grays. That if we're so, we're desperate for absolutes, that's what this betrays, this idea

that we need some kind of concrete reality. When actually it's all, it is super wiggly, my friend. And it's only getting more wiggly because the internet is showing more and more of what is real and what is fake. I do not know, all the deep things coming out. We're gonna have to really keep our heads on a swivel as a society and decide what is real

and what is important for us and our various families and social networks. Well, I think a lot of people are gonna be getting whiplash with all the swiveling they'll be doing, but. You gotta swivel, man, this is important. You know what is a good exercise for that? It's getting one of those. If you've ever seen at the gym, they got to be like,

that soft ball, I'm not why I'm asking. No, I've seen it, I've played sports. You've been going to the gym for 16 months. I've been in a gym a thousand times more than you. I've been taking, I've had a fat 16 months and you said, I'm gonna get in shape 16 months. You are not, yes, I've seen the balls. But the idea of, it's got like a flat plank on the top of it

and you can stand on it and get your little stabilizing muscles going. Natalie has this springboard in this house that she uses all the time and she literally, it looks like a Mario Brothers like springboard that you jump on and she stands on it and she's like, this is exercising. I was like, well, how?

And she's like, you stand on it and you try to balance on it. And I was like, that's just a normal thing. She's like, no, no, no, you're strengthening all your stabilizing muscles. And that's what's important because you're gonna need a lot of stabilizing muscles in 2020. Well, it sounds like you are just a few more brain cells

away from wearing a diaper and having to get wiped. I will not lie about it. No, I will not be able to wipe. Yes, and I will go over and be like, no, that is, I saw him when we had the last shot of Jameson that he will ever have in his life when his eyes crossed and never uncrossed. It's gonna happen to all of us.

Fly from your grave. Fly from your grave. Man, I've been watching this story about the women with, a woman with 2,500 personalities in Australia. Oh, look this up. It's a 60 minutes Australia special that was about a woman that she, oh my God, she was so brutally assaulted by her own father

from the age of two throughout her entire childhood that her brain split, she split herself into 2,500 different personalities which she's now been fully, she's fully diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder. It's crazy because you watch this shit and like all the cops kind of say the same thing because she filled out this binder of the list of crimes.

She ended up going to law school through her mental illness. She went to law school, passed the bar in order to help get her father finally arrested for these crimes and now he's in prison. Oh my God. And because of the abuse, she ended up having like photographic memory and said all of this horrible shit

and all the cops kind of said the same thing where they're like, all done now where I felt about multiple personalities but then when you hear what she went through, they're like, all right. I mean, somebody's got to do something. Yeah, Brian's got to do something to fix it. And so she goes through these characters.

Like she plays, I was like, I would end this because she can really just become a different person. Her eyes kind of flutter and then she becomes a little girl and then she becomes a teenager and she becomes all this stuff. It's really, really intense. Well, I don't know if jealous is the right word.

Richard Haynes is only in your isolated world of actor. Your actor's mind has- I'm sorry to everyone. Richard Haynes that was her, I guess is still technically her father but indeed he is no man nor dad at all. He's 74 years old. He got sentenced to 45 years in jail.

She was the only one to testify at the trial but evidently not really because out of her came six different personalities and she broke down and she was raped and tortured and just everything, just so disgusting. It's really, it is just like, I don't even want to say it. There's like stuff where she literally had to have a permanent colostomy back

because of all the horrible abuse that she went through. It's not good. It is not good. And they said that people like quit, two guys quit the police force listening to her story. Oh, they just couldn't take it. Yeah. They were like, what the fuck?

It was so bad. She says, my dad's abuse was calculated and it was planned, it was deliberate and he enjoyed every minute of it. Yeah, it was bad dude. Yeah, he heard me beg him to stop. He heard me cry. He saw pain and terror was inflicting upon me.

He saw blood and physical damage he caused on the next day. He chose to do it all again. This man, honestly thank God she got justice but I really hope she can try to work, just get it down to 10. If she can get the 2,500 personalities down to 10, we'll be like, all right. Yeah, cause then that's just me.

Oh, good. You know what, that's, it's a lot man. But it's one of those where I've never really, I've done some research into DID and try to figure out like, you know, like it is a immensely complex, it's a thing that they are still kind of even wrapping their minds around. Kind of like, it's in terms of the medical community

is how to diagnose it. That is absolutely, yeah. Anyway, check out this story that's very interesting. And if you have any insight on that, this is definitely one that we can go to the experts on. Let us know, side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. Is this something that is common when it comes to extreme childhood trauma, when it comes to extreme abuse?

Do people sort of fraction, fracture their own brain? So she's saying here that the person that he would abuse, she sort of had a different character for that moment in time. Oh yeah, she had one. And she had ones that like moved to her nose because apparently her dad smelled so bad. Like he was just kind of like, he just let himself,

like he didn't shower or anything. And so a personality would come through her nose and take the smells away. And then she had personalities that would grow up to take over her ears and take away the sounds of all of the things happening to her. Very brutal stuff. Yes, this is what she told BBC.

She said, she suffered every minute of dad's abuse. And when he abused me, his daughter Jenny, he was actually abusing symphony. That was the name of the, I guess, personality that she created. It's the main personality that she uses. Oh my God, what a... No, it's very intense, man.

It's very, very interesting. And obviously it's also highly controversial because many people feel many different things about even the concept of DID. So of you, our psychologist, because we love hearing from our actual like medical community, people who listen to our show that can like, illuminate us even more so

about these things. Please. Because we love, I love reading, but this is endlessly fascinating. It's fascinating and sad. And she used, she said this. She said, hello, I'm symphony. Jenny, this is like her when she would go into

or call on this other personality. She said, hello, I'm symphony. Jenny's got it into a pickle. I'll come tell you all about this if you don't mind. She said that in a rapid outburst. Symphony's voice is higher, her tone brighter, more girlish and breathless. We talked for 15 minutes and her microscopic recollection

of decades old events around daddy's nastiness is astounding. That's according to this article here. So this is a quote from symphony. What I did was I took everything I thought was precious about me, everything important and lovely and hit it from daddy so that when he abused me, he wasn't abusing a thinking human being.

That's what symphony said when she was on the stand. So that is, oh my God. It's very heavy. It's one of those where I know some of us do because it's one of those where get heavy with it if you want to, it's very interesting. Yes, and Haynes or whatever, the person that created her, I guess, he faced 367 charges.

So because he's so old, it's obviously a death sentence, but seems to me like he could have gotten, even if he's 79, but 45 years doesn't even seem enough for someone like this. This is unreal. He'll get his in jail as well. Kessel, do you want to do Hero of the Week? Should we do Hero of the Week?

Yeah. Okay, well this Hero of the Week, first of all, this song comes in from Steve Pashaka, aka Skulk the Hulking. And I gotta say, this is one of my faves. Hero of the Week. All right, there it is, Hero. Yeah, Skulk, man.

Man, we used to get sweaty with Skulk back in the day. I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about dancing. Well, I don't know what you guys did, because I was thinking about sex. You haven't sex with him? No, I did not, no, no. So this week's Hero of the Week is a dude named Cody Bondarchuk.

Who doesn't love Cody Bondarchuk? I mean, I don't know, maybe his family doesn't love him, but we like him. I don't know, I don't know. He worked, he is from Alberta in Canada, and he worked at McDonald's. He worked at McDonald's for two and a half years, and this is what he admitted to on Twitter.

He said, quote, I worked at McDonald's for two and a half years, and I put 11 nuggets in almost every piece of 10, in almost every 10 piece I made. Where are you fired for this? Not at McDonald's, I never worked at McDonald's, I've only consumed their food, and it's nice to have the distance from the kitchen when I'm there. I worked at Taco Bell, and yes, I was fired.

Because I would put- But weren't you fired because of a crime very similar to this? It's not a crime to be a hero, Henry. What I got, I would do the double pump of sour cream, I would do more cheese, I would just stuff the chalupa- This is pre-chalupa. No, I remember when the chalupa came out. Oh my.

But I used to just jam it. This is a grilled stuffed burrito. I know how to make a grilled stuffed burrito. I would just jack these things so full of food. And then this owner, the owner of the Taco Bell, he tried to explain, this guy from Texas, he was like, overhead, we have a bunch of overhead, like we have a lot of products.

And then he tried to- Yeah, they had to buy the food. They had to plan for some amount of food because they're going to serve it a certain amount. Yeah, because then they were getting mad at me. Because they had to pre-order it. Yeah, because there was like, Kissel, every time you do a shift, you're

messing up a whole bunch of stuff because you're taking too much from everything. And then so you're actually losing us money. When you make a burrito, it's costing us more than it costs to buy it. And I was like, nah. Yeah, I mean, so again, I do understand that you, I mean, I do believe that he is doing good.

This is not the sort of, I would almost say Robin Hood-esque. It is. Type caper. But there are victims as well. There is McDonald's. You think the Hamburglar? No, I don't think so. No, I actually think that it's, man,

because when you get to the end of that tan, and you could always go for one more. Always. My god, of course. There's something about just getting anything for free, even when you buy something off of television. And it's a total piece of shit. You know, like, when I got my bug assault, that's BUGA Salt,

it's a salt gun that you shoot bugs with. And it's useless. It's totally completely useless. But you know what I got for free when I bought this bug assault gun? What? Another bug assault gun. That doesn't make any sense.

No. And the first, it's useless. It is a piece of garbage. But I was like, I can get two of them. So I'm taking it. That isn't just, it doesn't make any sense. Why would you need two? Because then you can walk around your apartment

with double barrels. Scare your dog a little bit. Cody Punderchup. You're shooting a puffin' with it? No, I would never shoot a puffin' with it. No, you never do that. No, you shot at me with it. You belted me with it.

I did you. You got it. That's why I got two of them, so we could have wars. Maybe that's also why I got the rat, because apparently they love salt. And then my apartment was covered in it for so long. But now the rat's gone. So Cody, Cody Punderchup.

Is puffin' eatin' the salt? No, puffin' does not eat. No, puffin' eats like so. But is he lickin' up the salt? No, he's so full. He's good. He had Taco Bell the other day. It was great.

Cody Punderchup, thank you for what you do. I wish you were still working at McDonald's, because I would have stopped by and paid you a visit. Although, to be fair, I did have the chicken nuggets recently, because McDonald's was on Uber Eats. I went a little bit crazy. Again, this is my unhealthy year. Next year, I'm going to get in very good shape.

But I don't know what happened to them. Have you had one recently? What? A chicken nugget, a chicken McNugget. Yeah, man, they're awful. They're really, really bad. They're really, really bad. It's just fucking sinew.

It's weird. I remember them tasting like something when I was a kid. I mean, I don't know if this is because I think little kids' palettes are different. You're an adult now, and you've had actual chicken. It's just goop poured into a weird. It's not good. No, it's not good.

No, I honestly, Taco Bell holds up. You know what? Taco Bell does hold up. I had a whopper the other day. It was not that bad. Yeah, I mean, if I'm going Burger King, I'm going to get a chicken sandwich. No, it's really good.

Yeah, I get a chicken. The only problem with the chicken sandwich is always slathered with the mayo. Yeah, buddy. That's the whole point. I know. I do like it, though. I do fucking like it.

It's very important. There's also heroes working at Burger King, and they bring that spatula up, and the way they rub that mayo on there is simple. Clean. Oh, very nice. Oh, good. All right, do we want to do, do you

have any emails that you would like to read from any listeners? I do. Let me read some of these emails. We got one according to. So this is from, I really like this, this comes from R. Alexa Recording and Police Investigation. This is a response to what we were talking about last week about Alexa.

I'm a violent crime detective in Florida. I can shed some light on the Alexa issue for you. The Alexa device records 24-7. It's always an open channel. That's why you will always have discussions in the house and get Amazon suggestions and Facebook suggestions for items and things you have been discussing. So as we're covering the recordings,

you need a search warrant signed by a judge, which means you need probable cause to believe the device was in the area of the crime and active at the time that the crime occurred. You also need to be specific about the time frame of the incident, the crime, and have a very narrow time frame, time window, for the warrant as you're only entitled to the time frame surrounding the crime.

OK. It's extremely hard to get the warrant here in Florida as the level of proof you need to prove that the device was actually on and operating at the time of the incident. I, after learning this, removed the devices from my home. I had three, including one in my grandkids' room for them to dance to kids' music.

I hope I shed some light on this for you. Again, this is only applicable in Florida, but I'm sure the level of proof is the same across the US. I love it. And we also have one from a woman who works in development. She says, Henry, you are absolutely correct on the last relaxed fit episode. Alexa is indeed always on.

She says, I think it's real bad. Your phone is basically always listening as well when it comes to Siri. So you're walking around with a bug in your pocket like we're Richard Frickin Nixon. So go ahead and Frickin, I mean, subscribe to us on Spotify phone. That's what I'm going to start doing.

Start yelling at my random things, random recording things. I love it. But she does say a little tip in this email. She says, a little tip from a paranoid techie. She says, log into your Google account. Go to manage account. Go to data and personalization on the left. Then check your web and app activity.

There's a checkbox, including audio and voice recordings. Use you to uncheck that. But I am so on tech savvy that I don't even know how to do that. We'll get you through. We'll guide you through. Great. Here's a disgusting story. I heard this from my buddy who works as a firefighter

outside of Dallas a few weeks ago. His co-workers first day on the job was the responder for this one. This lady was paralyzed from the waist down from a previous injury. Last night was her wedding and she gets super drunk. Her new husband is passed out. While attempting to get from her wheelchair to the bed,

she falls and breaks her leg and her ankle bone is sticking out. Whatever she's paralyzed can't feel it, and she ends up passing out on the floor. She wakes up to the sound of a dog vomiting. Oh, no. Her dog had found the exposed bone and through the night managed to eat her entire fucking foot off. She woke up to the dog vomiting up her foot.

What did this guy do for a living? First responder is an EMT or, I guess, a firefighter. Oh, my. It turns my stomach. God. You know, you're not as bad. The dogs, they are man's best friend. But that is the appeal of a bone.

Oh, you know, the dog is like, I don't want to be doing this. That's why I'm thankful Wendy's got a little mouth. So you can't chew on bones. Oh, my goodness. Here's another question we had about buying cemetery plots and backyard burials. I thought it was very interesting. I'm a funeral director slash embalmer for Kansas City, Kansas,

and just listen to the Relax Fit Finders episode. I may have some insight on how purchasing cemetery plots work. It wasn't far off to say that buying a plot is like a lease. Essentially, the person or group of people who own a cemetery also own all of the land and within that property dedicated to grave spaces. When a person buys a cemetery plot, they pay a one-time fee to a cemetery

to use that plot for their family member. Although the property is deeded to them, the deed is more or less just proof that the cemetery has been paid by the owner for its use. We actually get a lot of shit at work from people who come and upset that decorations are removed. In some cases, I can see why. However, I can also say that trying to mow around 10,000

graves, that's around as many as we have, meticulously because all of them are decorated, is virtually impossible to do if we want to keep the cemetery looking like anything other than a sea of graves. We do accept it. We do exceptions to our rule on holidays, like Memorial Day and Veterans Day.

But generally, flowers and other decorations aren't in a vase. They get tossed. A lot of times, we call the family. On burying people in backyards, you can do that. As long as the city you live in doesn't have an ordinance against it. In my small town growing up, it wasn't completely uncommon

for people to be buried on a designated plot of their farm land as long as it was outside the city limits. Oh, that makes sense. Also, grave prices are insane. They're very insane. I mean, yeah, if you've got a farmland, you've got a couple hundred acres, 50 acres, that makes a little bit more sense.

Very interesting. Very, very interesting. That's it. That's what I have for this time. I just love learning. I love learning from you all. It's so fucking cool when you guys, when experts actually send us the answers to the stupid questions

that we have in the show. It's pretty wonderful. And I love people that work in the civil service sector because they have so much insight. My boy Will, who is a bartender at Skinny Dennis, he's also a firefighter. And he was telling me when he was in EMT, the safest people in a dangerous area

and a housing project that is extremely violent, the safest people are Mormons. The Mormons that walk after midnight because they're just and Chinese delivery drivers. Because he told me one time he showed up and a Chinese delivery driver had been a bike delivery person, had been beaten up and robbed. And the community then found the person that did it.

And it was not good for them because the Chinese restaurants all get together. And if that happens, they don't get Chinese food delivered for a month. Whoa. So he's like, there's two safe people at all times, Chinese delivery drivers and Mormons. So that's fucking awesome.

That's very interesting. If someone, if I found out that someone in my building beat up the dude that delivers my Taco Bell for Uber Eats and then Uber Taco Bell was like, oh, no, we're not doing that anymore, I would, I would be furious. It's over for you. That is a sacred, that is a sacred agreement. I need, we have to keep this felt like, again,

they need to be treated more properly. They need to make more money. I agree. I'm doing, I do 22%. That's what I, that's what I do with the tips. That's a good, honestly, I do 22% too. But of course, tip whatever you can because a little bit goes a long way.

A little does. All right, everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening. And we are so excited to see you in Northampton, in Buffalo and Portland, Maine. Cannot wait to go and see you all in the Pacific. No, not the Pacific. We're just in the Northeast.

I'm used to saying a Pacific Northwest. I was thinking Portland, but this is in the Northeast. Nothing Pacific about it. No, we're going to New England. Yes, indeed. Can't wait. Ah, you don't want to go up now. Yeah, I was out of people about that up now.

Sometimes that is better. I am going to say it all the time in Maine. That's your Jenna Kennedy impression. That's very no, no, no. That's my good. The guy from fucking pet cemetery. Ah, huh. Sometimes that was about all.

Very good. All right, everyone. We will see you on the road. All right. Live, live, L I V, E. It's a four letter word. Meaning to get up and go to work. That's all it is.

That's all living is. You gotta laugh. Laugh because you're at work. And you know for a fact that you know, you're choosing to not make these people victims of your violence. And that's important to remember. You're choosing to not hurt anybody

and they should be thanking you for it. They should be thanking you every single day. As we said, every day we say, sorry world. I don't know what I'm sorry for everything they need to be thinking every single every single employee needs to be Thanks on a regular basis, and you got a love you got a love Love your family for five minutes a day You know what I mean? It just makes sure you're in this you're I know to everyone Make sure you love your family for five minutes and just remember again that you love your family for five minutes

My family is great. I love my wife, and I love Wendy. That's different my home Do you really do you want to talk about you? Do you want it? Do you want to do that? You do you call your mother every day and say you love her for five minutes a day There we go hail yourselves hail Satan my goose deletions Hell me god damn it someone's got to someone's got to someone's got to and it's can't just be me all the time No, no, no This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com