Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Fighting Over Food

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: Hank the Tank cleared of all charges, one student's nearly fatal encounter with leftovers, a BBQ sauce shooting spree, the killer who thought he was Donald Trump, a server shot over a missing cheeseburger, Hero of the Week, Listener Stories, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side stories I love mr. Putin. It is me hilarious and I wish you would how you say cucumber I wish you would stop the oh how you say the bombing there you go thank you also my husband is innocent he farted and pushed the trigger hilarious you are just such a loyal wife I know you're so not American welcome to side stories everyone I am Ben my husband is innocent I know he didn't do anything wrong did he hilarious no just very good actor just very just like Stephen Baldwin absolutely well hey everyone how you all do it out there by the way we heard

I don't know if you know about this Hank the tank all right we heard all about it no honestly no no kissle you're mad you're mad for your more trigger because everyone's like kiss you guys stop feeding the bears like it's the thing you actively do which honestly you might I don't know what you do when you're out of town we've done a show for 11 years we've caught we've discussed so much content so many controversial viewpoints perhaps expressed even the most amount of DMs I have ever received in my inbox was about Hank the tank was about bears I said that I would singlehandedly give a bear a sandwich I did not say I was going to build a pile of food that then all the bears would become a lionton I see remember an evening that you and I spent

at the Mandalay Bay this maybe this Saturday where you said something along the lines of pop up food trucks specifically for bears where you wanted to put together a food giveaway a teach bears how to cook seminar I would love to see Guy Fieri teach some bears how to make trash can nachos at Flavortown which by the way Henry and I we did have a wonderful weekend in Las Vegas I did go to Flavortown that's at the Link Casino and it was truly amazing I don't know I'm telling you it is elevated bar food but Guy is no it was Flavortown anyway sure it has a flavor we do understand now Hank the tank was not just a bear he is in fact three I was saddened by this news because a lot of people were because yes people are saying oh it's vindicating Hank

the tank he won't be murdered but I was so excited for the for what for the American legend that was Hank the tank the Paul Bunyan style folklore like it felt like it was a piece of American folklore that we were watching getting birthed and I wish that we were a part of it but it is true Hank the tank is still a 500 pound bear now this is another example of bearism and weightism oh who's breaking into our hotels who's breaking into our uh refrigerators yeah maybe it wasn't the fat guy bear maybe it was three little bears that ate as much as one fat guy bear and now all of a sudden you're going to shoot me I'm getting pretty upset you're already very heated I had to drive so many hours today you lost your car because you don't want to talk about it you had to find your way back

from Vegas to go right into our work day here you know honestly you're in a lot better shape than I thought you would be I shouldn't be talking to a gas station attendant right now I am talking theoretically to the globe there's no reason why this should be happening but anyway here we go so we got the paper of good repute the paper of ill repute new york times the paper um they um they basically they're reporting so wait the times reported on hank the tank hank the tank up we were in the middle of a week an actual like the beginnings of a hot war with Russia yeah you know no this needed attention this is big well how did they mess up this story there's no way apparently yeah they said something about hank the tank would definitely be pro war with ukraine like

he's saying they're like hank the tank says send in bombs um but the california department of fish and wildlife right they said that they don't think that's acted alone now this came out of course the day after we record it well naturally according to the agency um now they I guess they have collected DNA uh from these veirs right the last several months and now and they went through the analyzer real quick did they um have they have they talked with like the murder of jombone ramsey no or the innocence project no like so they just we can't we have so many different types of people behind bars maybe innocent dna might be able to clear their name but they said no this is where we're going to use hank the tank top we are csi one bear was saved this week by by dna but these are

nature cops nature cops are pretty cool yeah this is like this is they stop fire they stop forest fires they keep squirrels from raping each other these guys are honestly it's really incredible what they do over there um now they said they until this update the people have been kind of mad about this because everyone's been pitted on hank the tank they're saying that hank the tank needs to get shot mad because he is essentially like two face of the bear world it was everyone's afraid of him and that's why i defended hank the tank and i always will defend hank the tank i think about this and this these words by the the paper of ill repute new york times this who's described hank who's portly frame and prodigious appetite were looked on across the world as some mix of

admirable and relatable that is so much bullshit i hate them for a description of a bear also portly i was called portly that was my i was 54 portly that was my jacket size and again i'm gonna say well-framed big boy survivor i think it should be labeled as marshmallow man um and honestly it's nice to be part of the marshmallow community now i would love to see if we were in ghostbusters just the huge big tit you would have something positive it's jihanna michael's oh my god um this so they actually said something that's very similar to what you just said this is what the wildlife department said identifying bears simply by their visible physical characteristics can lead to misidentifying bears and therefore confusing management efforts so they they do

they do acknowledge that we can't just judge a bear by its coordinates well i am just so happy there are some officers in this country yes sure they happen to work solely with animals that take the time not just a judge but to also investigate and clear innocent people who are being framed by skinny horrible what yes little chews what's your word campers okay campers good i'm glad it was not jews now this is i'm very thin but this it's interesting because yeah they're saying the three i we feel like we should get them on human crimes i feel like they should be doing human crimes because they busted they turned into this or they turned this around real fucking fast and uh they are now because of the efforts and because of the general sentiment

from the american people whoever is caught for this so-called pizza rummaging inside people's homes this forced peace rummaging they're saying that they will not be euthanized that they will let the bears live and i think that's incredibly nice and it actually shows but sometimes every once in a while what we say matters absolutely well speaking of food and um also it's a way for us to feel satisfied for a hot minute so you don't think about all the other ways that you're completely disenfranchised or no one gives a fucking shit above the line in any way shape or form and how we are manipulated by the u.s government up until up until this day well it is interesting you did bring it back there though i'm just saying you did bring it back there so i almost did forget

because i was like oh okay take is it and then that's right i forgot we're still on episode five of mk ultra so i need out i need i need to clear my mind all right i am just i am project monarch i mean if i went to the project monarch training i don't know if i could get anybody fucking i don't know if anybody would suck my dick i don't know if i'd be able to suck anybody's dick they'd smell me coming for a mile it sounds to me like you're about to stress eat because that's what people like you and i do i do be very careful adding more stressor to the idea of stress eating you heard this story we talked about it the student oh god he ate some old chinese food this is not much like hank the tank would but i don't think hank the tank would suffer the same

horrible horrible side effects this dude this story man this is really a story it's a warning this is a warning it's a warning about what can happen if you are vaccinated against certain things as a child and to be honest i can't believe that this didn't happen to us we are we have dodged so many bullets if eating leftover chinese food can lead to what happened to this man we're all in danger now i guess it's like he got some form of meningitis from food that was left i guess he had it i don't know what happens but he didn't get any sort of inoculations from right he said he said that he had men and yeah he did not have the inoculation from meningitis he also didn't realize meningitis was hiding inside of his low man chicken and rice well i didn't know that

it could happen i didn't know that it did work i guess but they're calling it a perfect storm i don't really know what it is i don't know either i it's a young man he was 19 years old and if you look at him now the healer okay so from this leftover food leftover delivery food in his fucking refrigerator he lost both of his legs oh and he is covered in like weeping sores his whole body is absolutely jacked it is jacked this is not good he's bleeding um he's got even vomiting red brown that's all they're saying it literally says he vomited the vomitus was red brown and the abdominal pain and vomiting were followed by the development of chills generalized weakness progressively worsening diffuse myalgias which is also if what i'd be like if i met harry styles

malaysia malaysia malaysia hallelujah chest pain shortest of breath he mean i don't know what the hell he did and then he had to do oh fuck holy god he had a 106 fucking temp degree uh fever according to uh dr bernard who he says um this was a freak accident happening in a perfect storm as henry said of events uh the multiple organ failure skin mottling any rapidly progressive rectangular rash oh the patient had this stuff going on for about 20 hours and then he's like i better go to the doctor he went to the doctor and that's where we've seen all of the pictures he looks like he is in 28 days later and he is not one of the heroes he is indeed a zombie oh it's not good i just didn't know i had to be scared of leftovers because i consumed all weekend

those number one because i ordered about 500 dollars for the food on saturday yeah on friday just kind of let it go through something sure sure sure um but no that's fine because i'm gonna i'm just just just uh i don't need this today and i will say you know that this is not really vaccine propaganda because it's from the new york post new york post is really kind of like they're all over the place with their with their opinions they're just one paper they are pointing out that it's one of the he only got one of the three doses of meningococcal meningococcal conjugate whatever the fuck it is but he only got but it's mostly just you have to watch out he did get the one that saves his cock isn't that nice he should have got the legs one of the arms

one i don't know what kind of work and condition his cock and balls are going to be in after this because if if it travels all the way down the way it did it just not fucking good and now i'm just like you'll never eat leftovers again well after getting parts of all of his fingers his legs below his knees amputated uh this is according to the article the man went on to have quote a relatively good recovery so isn't that but i feel like a relatively good recovery is like i got at least one of my legs i could still see out the window but you're just happy that you can see out of a window oh man it's also just i feel so bad obviously truly we're kind of making some jokes here but he's just a 19 year old dude yeah he did not deserve this he doesn't he doesn't he didn't yeah he did not

know and then it's also like he doesn't get any benefits of being a war veteran no nothing he doesn't get like anything where it's like yeah no sympathy no you don't get sympathy for this no no nobody they are all just everyone's just looking at you mostly i would look at you like i fucking hope to god that doesn't happen to me yeah like just because i can't deal with it i don't want to deal with or i don't want to lose my legs in that way if i'm losing my legs i will have earned that factor by diabetes slowly by a life of of excellent high value food choices just like whale and jenny's who when he when he left this earth he did not have any feet because the beat us took him his you know what his feet beat him to heaven that's correct so anyway if you got some old food be very careful

i don't even know how you know if it's bad or not like you know because natalie is a little bit of a person she's way more lenient with when she would eat like leftovers i get freaked out about old food and i don't eat old food i get a little bit of free i know you love i'm a tank and but you're like that you don't really get you've had you had covid like nine times your your your blood is thick it comes out like sometimes your blood is white which i've seen which is strange i don't know what happened that's semen that is not if if anyone is just like no i just bleed white it's like no you just came all over me that's come you need to stop doing that all right so be careful oh and i wonder what i hope someone called the restaurants like uh someone took a shit in your

lo mein i don't even know how what is also what does it must be something fecal related it might be which is also super nasty because also you just don't know it's one of those things where it's like why uh a restaurant it's why a restaurant will sometimes get a low rating because it's really no because the clients lose both of their legs and their arms because the meningitis they'll get a low rating i'd give it a b plus the restaurant here i mean i'm not giving it an a but actually i don't know how honestly side stories l pot l a gmail dot com how does poo poo get in our food without they're just because i know you guys i love our restaurant industry workers hello our fucking people back back a house front of house absolutely love everybody you are the true

warriors of american culture you are i i you know that dukey does not like you guys are taking active shits and food and i know you might do that they're may okay i'm not gonna say i had friends that may have done stuff like pissing in the pickle jar yeah it's different then when they were old school when they were shenanigans that's shenanigans that's a bio warfare it kind of is sure but i also just wonder if it's just like booger boys just people are full of shit sometimes did you fart hard you could have farted on it as a joke like oh man there's a lot of stuff near it thinking no one will know because let's say you're cooking you made out like doing fucking coke fucking chasing after your girlfriend i don't know where she is she went missing

by the shipyards all of a sudden she's texting you from another man's number your whole life's a fucking record all of a sudden you got to show up the flavor town you've got this six seven man out there where's guy where's guy where's guy and you got to go and fight you got to get that guy back on society side with chicken wings i did not have a chance to see guy but i did have a chance to take a picture next to one of the plates the guy signed and i just showed it to henry and guy said so guy you know how funny he is he said on a plate he said i did what yeah he's a funny guy he's a funny guy he's there he's still got it guy is there carotop also signed one of the plates wing wing wing hello carotop you know what i don't like that one

that one i don't like that bloody mirror that kepper got my boy honestly it's a very big bloody marion so really good for him um now this story is also about how like what i actually i i almost could see it would happen outside of a flavor town because when it comes down to it you know customer service in this country oh don't even get me started well you know it's been doing it's actually been doing very well in terms of the fact that we just we're crawling out of a pandemic the industry is doing great but if you're out there one thing about uh megas you people watch and i did overhear some rude tudes people are from the customer class of course they are assholes be respectful i mean we're in flavor town here it's not gonna be perfect you're being invited into a restaurant's home

you are when you go into a restaurant you are a guest and that restaurant's home and you should you should consider yourself as that as such this next story because we're just almost sticking solely with restaurants and food there's a lot of food crime today this would have never happened at flavor town because a texas man at a restaurant got super pissed because he wasn't given enough barbecue sauce i'm gonna say this is it might not be about the barbecue sauce but this is andre tamas um he's 36 years young he's facing two charges of aggravated assault um because he thought that with the deadly weapon with the deadly weapon because he said there was not enough barbecue sauce in his go his to-go order you know which is also like you can just go back and get it

well that is the one of the things with the to-go order this is why every time i go to my Ralph's that's here in los angeles it's like what you call it would say it's a grocery store here in los angeles it's a grocery store ralph's um i always pick up condiments because you can't trust these delivery services to bring you the condiments you really do the condiment is on you this is about america this is like how the same way we have to handle our own health care the same way we have to probably teach your own children eventually we also need to provide ourselves our own condiments that we want in this country because you have the freedom to do everything on your own here and perhaps if that man would put some frank's red hot on that low main it could

have killed whatever the toxin was or the bomb or that bomb stuff but okay so he was like he walked in he got his to go he got us to go order and he left yeah he got the two he got the uh to go order from a place called dickies barbecue pit i bet you it's good i don't know i've never this is in houston honestly tell us if it's a good houston now he walked back he was angry and he was upset and he said that because he said to them hey i i didn't get enough barbecue sauce right sure and you're like everyone's like you know and they said straight up like sure so they gave him more barbecue sauce okay what's he complaining about that he then walked back out came back it decided that the way the handoff of the barbecue sauce went oh my like they didn't i guess like go oh

mr mr oh mr tomas oh how i wish this is enough for you what do they want do you want to get like juice like oh come back to the barbecue enema room then sir i don't know feel you so full of so much barbecue sauce you'll never want for more but then he came back and he says i'm gonna kill everyone in this restaurant this is like a heightening of a situation that i don't think needs to happen dude and then he walked out and he broke the arm of one of the people inside of the restaurant and he went outside and he waited for people to leave and started shooting he waited till the store closed this is how angry he is he could have went to the store and bought barbecue sauce and have put it on the food he already had the amount of time that he just sat and he waited for the restaurant

to close and then as people were leaving he started shooting up the front of the restaurant again site stores lpotlgmail.com again email us is that place good enough to kill over i really don't think so because dickies man i don't know what's wrong i think i don't know if dickies is so good that that's why he needed this barbecue sauce or is dickies so bad that he felt that hey you should be compensating me with barbecue sauce for me just patronizing the store i'm gonna say thomas might find himself back in jail he has a he has a pretty lengthy criminal history going back to 2009 yes he uh he's got a pretty big rap sheet there now he's facing five other felony bonds yeah i don't including retaliation harassment felony felony possession of a weapon assault of a police

officer and assault on a family member and that had nothing to do with barbecue sauce no he just he attacked everyone he he's very mad it just seemed like whoever he interacted with that day he's been attacking yeah he's just gonna attack and it's about the barbecue sauce now here's another story that is um very uh this is a little bit more frightening but it's also like you don't really know your your kids all the time you only know i mean you can only know them at some point don't they just become their own people they become adults they become adults and you don't know who those adults are going to be and sometimes they become fairly twisted up mentally and then maybe they can come back and kill you i don't know i don't know but this is a story of christopher

claire bout now this took place in indiana i'm not surprised um but he went and uh he basically uh he beat his mother nearly to death and he tied her up with electrical cords and he stabbed his father to death with a switchblade knife and he said the reason why he did so is because he is both donald trump but he's not his name is uh something else is not down there his name is christopher brian claire bout but he said that he was donald trump he's not even close to the same age absolutely and then he said that he was black he's not very much a white person okay and then he said his parents were bill and hillary clinton um which they're not because they're still alive there's a lot there oh my god this is i mean this guy he said he was planning to arrest his mom and deliver her

to guantanamo bay under the quote unquote war crimes act for the crimes that she has committed against him and the crimes that she has committed against the country um he came in he uh sold his father's wallet and then he murdered the hell out of him slid his belly open with a uh with a switchblade knife they found the father dead in the front he was like 75 years old holding his guts in like on the on the front he was in the he was in the front driveway like please can you help me and the people watched from afar but he was really very intense so you're the neighbor right he got this 75 year old man david claire bout that's his name and all of a sudden you just see him doing that i bet you someone just closed the curtains it was like didn't see that american

idols on well especially if you're in the middle of the peloton oh if you're in the middle you can stop you when your whole ranking is going to get funded at torch and then however people are going to know that you're exercising um because you really want everyone to know everything that you're doing that might be kind of good for you i just feel like i would really have a hard time i would say i don't know how to help this person but uh i definitely don't expect to see my neighbor grabbing their guts and attempting to put them back inside of their body on a random whatever day well he left with their car so he stole this parents car and he left it and this is actually really they found it because they they found his the father's dead body with what

would look like a necklace pendant that appeared to be rounds of ammunition that were fashioned into the shape of the cross that he was wearing god worse from the from the sun did that uh yes the sun had left in there very very corny but you know what's actually kind of like it's i guess it's good but it's also one of those weird things that kind of felt like a commercial in the middle of this article is that they talk about how the car was equipped with an on-star right so the on-star when they were looking for where he was driving they located him on the on-star but i also didn't know that the on-star could disable the car and so they basically in the terms of like it's kind of fucking it's very similar to the minority report in a way where

that from this corporate hub they could shut your car off and then so he was left without a car and then he had to run into the forest where they finally got him and one of the strangest things is the car was a uh Chevy Traverse the license plate for the car i am not a vanity plate fan because a they don't age well they never be no one really knows what you're talking about and they're just gonna make fun of you but the license plate on this car read prodigy i also think these parents may have thought very highly of themselves or very highly of their son i think they thought very highly of themselves this is for or maybe it was their company maybe they had a company called prodigy i don't know i don't know either way uh it is a brutal

story oh it's really very intense and you have to be uh you know how how do we get here why true crime now i don't know i don't know how you you put all of these thoughts in your head obviously sounds like that he was very mentally ill or he was at least very confused uh unless he was part of some form of psychological experiment housed by the u.s government i could see how you grew like i just don't know how he became donald trump i don't know but do you think that he saw donald trump in the mirror like when he like looked in the mirror he saw him he's going like huge necessary huge like just him doing doing his like shit in his toilet gold doing his like perfect alex balvin style trump impersonation how you say cool how you say he will get an amy for

neighbor he waited he never he he hit photographer yes thank you hilarious he hit the child yes but the neighbor he waited no you're just you're standing by your man they're kind of but also i you say give me a d bar yes there you almost said it so marcia the mom of christopher she apparently was aware of this she says he was ranting throughout the entire day oh no she had because she was tied up because she was tied up yes and then so she said that all of those things that henry just said that he believed he was black that he was donald trump bill and hillary were the parents um and then she and then she also said that he would just spit on her and hit her in the face oh this is horrible oh yeah it's very sad she he knew that she had problems

with the feet and he kept stomping on her feet all day this is a bad son no he's a bad son he's bad son he is not he is not going to get the good son award oh my gosh you know who gets the good son award will call the colkin always for his absolutely transformed performance i love the good son you know the colkin family truly talented very talented i love the colkin family i just wish i could be a part of them yep so um oh my god he also insisted this is according to christopher again and none of this is true but he insisted his parents quote passed him around for sex as a child to a lot of politicians mr claire about stated during the interview that he is donald trump again and that his mother is hill hillary and his dad he might have gotten groups sucked by the

neighbors actually don't think that that's necessarily impossible like he could have definitely been been handed around like a hookah this is why a bunch of the but a bunch of people that his dad worked with i don't fucking know but i we know until we see that information you know but this is why you do have to be freaking careful and i'm a 1a first amendment you can say any dumb shit you want but also understand the power of the microphone because this man obviously had no ability to discern what's truth what's not truth so if someone would say conspiracy theory he was just like now that is a fact that has to be a fact i heard it through a speaker yes because he uses terms like deep state operatives like so it's just you got to be careful

out there when you are in the world of line like alex jones to uh at the very least just say every now and again i'm just making this up by the way or like you know i feel like there there used to be more of this idea of like this is just my research this is more like this is i'm asking questions like that idea of like asking questions doing the kind of stuff like Cooper was the best i'm just asking questions i'm just asking questions and so i feel like there was some of that where there was some caveats baked in to kind of protect themselves and protect their stations legally uh but it also kind of keeps setting the tempo for the audience still like this at least remind them hey this is a thought process here we're just we're like we're spitballing we're spitballing we're trying to see and

not like this is what is definitely happening absolutely and apparently the according to the neighbors they said they were very nice people and the neighbor also said i didn't see it coming and i would say good what if i knew that this was how this is how they were going to die let's not go we don't need a new pre-crime here but if you did suspect it oh it looks like he's about to gut his father yeah finally and him and the wife just both like one gives the other twenty dollars like i guess you win today was the day also the student is now being held at the Hamilton county jail who speaking of fun things full of lies Hamilton um imagine you're in jail you stole a couple stickers bars maybe got a DUI accidents happen you know and obviously mistakes

happen i'm just saying nothing nefarious and this guy just walks in what are you in for stemmy dad i'm donald trump and i'm black and my mom is hillar clinton uh my dad is bill clinton i kill both of them i'd be pulling up a stool that's actually the man i do want to talk to me if i'm in jail for some reason that day i'd be like i want to hear how we got here i want to talk directly to donald trump i want to ask him all of these questions what was it like filming the apprentice that's the type of stuff that you ask him then be like what's the white house like tell us see what he says see what his whole improv character bio comes up with all right well i suppose so well this is actually this little story here i don't think that you saw this one

henry but this is do you hear this story speaking of good fathers there was a couple of kidnappers and they abducted these two kids and then their father followed the suspects and he said those are the ones who stole my children and they were arrested so i don't know that makes me feel kind of good i mean he followed them for how long uh for quite a while this dude christopher wade schultz man he's fucking horrifying looking he kidnapped two kids ages six and two um which not to be like too you know hacky but you do you can you deal with that a two-year-old and a six-year-old you dumpy dumps you need to tell me look at this guy you think he's gonna deal with a two-year-old and his life turned into the pedophile version of like where

is my car was it yeah dutch or was it ice cube movie where he had to like take all the kids to the mall was that yeah um oh my goodness i forget but yes i know what you're talking about so he is uh he's been charged and uh you know it's just a good thing that this father said you know what i'm going to assume when my children grew up they're not going to kill me so i'm going to go and i'm going to protect them and uh he was able to uh allow the sheriff's office to go in there knock on the door say hey man you got some kids in there and uh and then they got the kids back and here's the opposite of that you taught father charge if they're allegedly instructing his four-year-old to shoot at the police wait a second what this is the opposite day for this guy um so

they were being arrested at mcdonald's uh the man was not his name is up and released yeah which actually uh kind of even nicer they say so he um he brandished a firearm at the drive through upon receiving an incorrect order what is going on dude i'm telling you you know how we always pick up on trends we always do we're always we're always but i don't remember any i don't remember nearly as much fast food rage this is a i don't know what this again this is transferred rage from other things but i don't know do with mcdonald's i don't think so but it was just this week had a lot um when they saw the weapon the mcdonald's workers very smart they really really they knew how to do this because they said hey what you need to do is go park over there we're gonna we're got you

we're gonna take you all of this is out we're gonna give you extra food we're gonna take care of your bill and then he went to go park to the side they called the cops right yeah when they were idle that like it happens all the time i mean i mean they must have a manual and there must be some way they made it like when you are about to be murdered at work here is what you do like fake a milkshake gift certificate you're gonna be like oh look over there you know ronald mcdonald will be out there any moment now him just waving in the parking lot yeah go take a picture photo op with ronald mcdonald then he's a cop great it's an op whoa um so they saw that he came in they said they went to go talk to the guy the cops came they went to go talk to the guy sitting

in his car the other fucking gun out right and they're like all right we so we have to say we have to clear out the entire mcdonald's because now it's an active shooter thing right and then when they realized when they saw the gun they saw that the kid was holding it in the front seat and popped off around out the window like which obviously is well obviously this is traumatizing but also like what a fun day with dad kind of like i never got to do anything like this with my father well it's definitely like your last day with dad so i guess he definitely like they just like well let's do it all they didn't really care um but they the cops saw they were like kid um and yeah the kid who fired a weapon is four years old yep and it's just it's not good it's really

really not good because you really don't want them to get used to violence early you really don't also in restaurant news i don't know what is up with today but in wisconsin now when wisconsin people they tend to be like i don't know i don't think they get super there's so much food that i just feel like they shouldn't be super aggressive yeah i just don't i mean honestly all over this country i know there are supply line issues but still like there is absolutely no reason to fight over there's so much food there's so much food we don't need to um so a wisconsin restaurant worker was shot in the face during a dispute over an incomplete order anthony redriguez was working man and he was the only dude working at this george web location in wawatosa and all of a

sudden there was these two gals their 20 year old uh uh sisters they complained their order was missing a three dollar hamburger okay it must have been a pretty good burger and then they went up to the dude and they were like yo man where's our hamburger and then redriguez says they said they weren't gonna pay and i said okay well i'm gonna take your food since you're not gonna pay for it and then so i took it away and that's when they shot him in the face oh my god and then he said he said i never expected to be shot as a server and then he said he's still talking yeah dude he said there's still big fragments in my throat oh my god from the bullet he said i was in shock i don't remember reading much pain but i remember kind of internally freaking out and being very

scared just telling myself like wow i'm probably gonna die here guys we have a lot of people who listen to our show that work in the food industry and i'm gonna say this man if you work for fucking wendy's that red-haired fucking bitch doesn't care if you get shot at work wendy does care wendy is was the hostage of dav thomas the daughter yeah well you know what's the difference and you guys really need to not die for these corporations they don't just give them the food if someone's there and it gets to a point where you're driving to a physical altercation they can have the fucking food it's just killing them anyway exactly so unfortunately this well thank god he's alive but he has a two-year-old son this guy Anthony Rodriguez and the johnson's

have been charged those are the two sisters they have been charged with homicide with attempted homicide rather and you're being held in jail is there a third offense i feel like there's a lot of attempted attempted homicide can't it be like almost homicide can't it be like a third one we're like well you really tried to kill him with this one you know attempted murder sometimes you're gonna swipe somebody with the back of your car and you don't know sure i don't know if that would be considered attempted murder unless you did it without your screaming with laughter well that's right and then technically legally you are culpable if you do laugh like the penguin that is entirely true and then of course uh you would have to pretend like you were blind much like

mr shugna did in court and it was quite fun god it was so good all right well there's this other story of the hunt for man seen empty in bag of blood and redding this is okay this dude was just fine they don't know this is very strange what do you mean quantities of blood were found and they're like this is on broad street duke street in jackson's corner this is very very early in the morning um they just found like literally pools of blood everywhere uh they don't know what it is they found video of just a dude with a white bag filled with blood whose blood is it i don't know where did he get all of it i don't know it was they said then they saw the man walking outside his store this was this is the guy the cctv footage it showed this guy emptying blood onto the street

and the blood found everywhere they thought that the the man might have been heading in a gent the direction of the royal berkshire hospital okay um we don't know they don't know whether or not the uh the source of blood is the result of an assault but the police are saying they are going to keep an open mind well isn't that fantastic just like those great people when it comes to hang the tank owen parker brunt that's the manager of a wolf wolf italian street food oh whenever it's good i don't know apparently he watched this live with the cops on the cctv camera and i guess you just sort of gotta enjoy the show yeah i guess it's a little lot everywhere what the hell is happening he said yeah we we both found it very strange it was extremely unusual to see yeah yeah he said i would

know if it was super usual to see that's unusual that would be like well you know they always come around and they always like to dump their blood out in front of my store and now why don't we be thinking about calling ourselves blood dumpers but apparently that's also a problem with the on the the colostomy service across the street even calling themselves blood dumpers the blood dumpers we got poop dumpers um he says uh he says i just hope the person in question is all right and gets whatever help they need which seems like more blood it seems like they need more blood i i does also seem like or they've they've ruined their own blood collection oh that's that's a weird collection but all right well you know what let's do freaking hero of the week yeah

this week's hero of the week it's uh you know i've actually gotten a couple of messages some people saying oh i've really enjoyed the more abstract heroes you've gone from people to concepts to you know animals to whatever um this is the worst hero that you've ever done yeah but he's also my celebrity cheat i mean i'm single so it really doesn't matter i'm not gay so it's not gonna happen uh not even if i was i don't think that he would have sex with me right it's a lot of rollback a lot of rhino i'm i'm i'm flipping ryan rattles uh he says so kissle i just want to remind you that kissle is naming ryan rattles as hero of the week i'm a millionaire ryan rattles well it's because he's just like you and i oh yes he's so relatable he is well he is because

he's so talented um he says his anxiety makes him feel like a different person oh wow public persona so doesn't that remind all of us so it's not so much he's here of the week it's more just like the hero of the week is remembering that everyone is going through their own turmoil and stress so today i mean there's a lot of news going on a lot of news going on a lot of it's causing a lot of anxiety across the board but we really need to pay attention to ryan rattles anxiety because of what he's feeling that's what you're saying here you're saying he's a hero because he's saying to the world hey i get nervous sometimes too exactly and he has perfect abs he's got a beautiful wife he's so funny they interact on social media i'm like oh my god guys you guys are get a room please and can i

see um but it is also nice to know that he also feels the same things that we do because he feels nothing well this is what he said he said i've had anxiety my whole life really and you know i feel like i have two parts of my personality that one takes over when that happens that one takes over no this is about being a fucking hero man he says for example this is something you can relate to when i go out like on letterman this is what he's oh yeah i oh whenever i'm preparing for my yes my massive press rollout of my huge multi multi almost billion dollar films yes yeah yeah so this is what he says so like when i go out i'm like letterman back in the day i was nervous but i remember i remember he's standing backstage before the curtain would open and i would think

to myself i'm gonna die i'm gonna die and then the curtain opens and i'm just gonna be and i'm just gonna be a a symphony of vomit uh and then just like that something horrible is gonna happen he said but as soon as the curtain's open and this happens a lot with work too it's like a little guy takes over and he's like i got this you're cool you remember and he says i feel sorry audience i'm sorry don't apologize to the audience he says i feel like my heart rate drop my breathing calms and i just sort of go out there and i'm a different person so many heroes ever going god i'd love to be that guy i he wants to be himself i just that's how incredible ryan is all of these celebrities are now doing this thing where they're like we're absolute filth hogs just like you like

they say all of this shit we're how like they share the same like toothpaste water and they like they don't they don't bathe for weeks on and they're like just like you we're like no we live normally you are an active touch person but i have heard though actually i'm reading this really interesting article right in front of me it's saying that ryan reynolds is actually in the middle of he's actually in ukraine right now doing a pro russia documentary which i don't think it's really brave because we're not doing a lot of that perspective and i think he's that he's not shawn penn okay but this is what reynolds said he said just to close it up he said part of him talking about this is going to be so brave is that he wants to destigmatize things like this when super

hammer because no even super rich super handsome people have anxiety i know anyway it's i mean actually now that i think about it really never gets better and i wish i wish there was someone who's like after i got ten million dollars every single problem actually went away and then i would most problems do go away but then you are left you the actual truly scary problems go away but then you are like somebody like him then is left with himself and he has to figure that out but still you know i mean welcome to the fucking club ryan reynolds all right welcome to the fucking club well i'm happy you welcome to the club i mean kind of yelled about it but i'm just saying it was still technically a welcoming oh well i do like this other guy the city man who's trying

to eat the fucking or are you doing the segment this is the other are you doing a hero this is a hero did you man how much work have you done how what do you know about my special segment he's trying to eat a sausage at every bunding store in australia that actually is also very interesting but i think he's doing it for um he's trying to raise awareness for sausages well interesting oh i guess i'll do an email then for the letter for just be switching roles uh oh this is a lizard email uh there you go so we should not be recording no i am so brain dead i can't even i am a slot machine i am a human slot machine right now i i just all dings and dings and like you lose i'm just like so but this is what makes us relatable we also show up to work hyper fucking hung over

we're heroes of the week we're heroes we'll take it now you know who the heroes are who the listeners here's a listener email all right so we got a couple of good ones we got one good that said the truth about taking your clothes off the fight which is all about not having anybody to grab anything it's hard to grab a wet titties that are covered in sweat makes sense which i've i know absolutely know all about now this is really interesting i'm an american living in cambodia for four years and i can give you some context and why a blood slave it's not such an outlandish idea here oh this is from last week's yeah yeah cambodia has one of the least developed health care systems in the world it is not uncommon for people to be turned away at the hospital

door during emergencies with no explanation at all there's also no blood donation network here so if you need a surgery you need to source your own blood what that includes during emergencies desperate facebook posts from friends and families of critically ill patients looking for emergency blood donations are fairly common if you will need it for elective surgery then you will want to source it ahead of time obviously when you have a scarce resource that is literally a difference between life and death combined with an ineffective justice system and no legal alternative a black market will develop that will exploit people to the fullest wow i didn't know that further the town that it happened in the i i wish i knew how to pronounce this in shahannockville has basically

become a chinese mafia boom town in the last 10 years with residents forced out of their homes and jobs in favors of massive casinos and hotels it's that seems very interesting it's very very yes i i oh man brutal all right good to know one night i was sleeping alone in my bed and i felt a weight next to me like my wife lying down oh i rolled a slight diss on your wife yeah i never feel natalie lie down absolutely not i rolled over and there was no one there at which point i fully woke up whoa i sat up looked around assumed i was dreaming and laid back down to my wife's side of the bed my preferred sleeping position i felt the weight again and i rolled over expecting to see my wife again nothing my eyes fully open examine the room roll back over and i close my

eyes now this happens a third time i roll over again expecting to see nothing however i see a large bulky shape like a football player wearing pads under the blanket and i immediately utter who the hell are you i hear this guttural sound that says something like what the next thing i know i'm standing at the end of my bed there's a six foot giant black demon looking motherfucker just yanking on my dick in the expressively sexual way and then a long black python looking snake crossing the room and then slowly wrapping its way around my leg i start hyperventilating as it seems all too real and right when i blow my load i wake up in my bed with a raging heart on right no i've never felt so scared and violated in my life yeah because

you got fucking raped by a dream snake right yes i dashed out of the room took a piss well basically standing on my head checked on my wife who was still working and then i laid back down in bed staring at the ceiling unable to sleep you know we got that peepee boner uh-huh that's hard you get it everywhere absolutely you spray and you spray and you spray you spray you never stop and it hurts absolutely um so over the next few days i felt completely drained of energy and then eventually returned to normality now i've done a bit of research as i've never heard this term before but it looks like something from arabic mythology related to a gin i contact an arabic scholar that one of my friends knew and she said not to worry the snake was a sign of

good luck well well then okay so it was a good fucking yeah but honestly they're saying they don't know this guy was freaked out and he does not wish for a second fix all right please leave him alone doesn't sound like so much good luck to me but oh right now i can remember my grandfather telling me a fairy named rodney lived in the outdoor ac unit at a river house and writing me notes from rodney and pristine cursive and leaving them around for me to find there's another story where my great grandfather's ghost knocked on the wall to remind everyone how many years had it been since she died when no one seemed to remember and a story about a ghost dog who barked at the evening news even after he passed away this story is one that my father told me

ever since i was a kid when 9 11 happened i was only four years old so i can only remember walking by the tv and seeing the news on and thinking it was some action movie but my father remembers the day very differently all airplanes were grounded on the day of 9 11 for obvious reasons but my dad clearly remembers looking up on that clear morning to see a blue sky devoid of anything other than clouds when suddenly a white object appeared looking like a star in the daytime sky now at first it sat perfectly still but then it began moving its movements were regular not in a straight line like the iss when you see it but slowly to one side then back to the way it came before going up at a curved angle and starting on its own course towards a horizon he watched it until it

vanished over the treeline and it wouldn't believe it because everyone knew that all planes were grounded right and this is pre drone era yes 2001 close to it or i mean who knows what they had now he always postulated that it could have been a satellite ejecting some form of heat to change positions but to my knowledge they go up in orbit and stay on a fixed path nothing can explain what he saw that day and i may well have seen something similar a light in the sky during a clear day that moved irregularly certainly not the iss certainly not a plane definitely not a shooting star and probably not just some story the origins of this mysterious light in the sky might never be known just thought it was interesting to share and it would be interesting to see anybody else

had the same experience all right let us know oftentimes when the psychic world is shattered which of course 9 11 was universally felt maybe some spooky stuff happens really is just very very interesting very creepy deep in there yes indeed okay so you guys know we're wrapping up this fuck bullshit you guys can go on the fuck patreon right to do triple oh we're gonna do it i'm gonna fucking do this announcement you're gonna like this okay yeah um in our patreon just so you know we're going to be doing films episodes of side stories that you will be able to see only at the i forget what no smello vision no smello vision we're gonna be watching us and i was going to be getting next week so join the patreon to watch what it looks like when we arrive hung

over in the studio you can really see that our gray faces lined with sometimes a little bit of cheese sauce sometimes oh is that light is that blood oh no it's jam because we went to got we got the fucking you know we we got the pastry basket for breakfast because you never know so you gotta love every day you gotta live your life every day knowing that pastry basket might come it might take 45 minutes it might take an hour and a half to understand did you get one um absolutely i did yeah it came and then i loved it i loved every moment of it because i like a cheese danish i like a little mignon of course i mean you go out there you get a coffee that's really nice you go down to the starbucks get a coffee live that life love that life you know and then you laugh

just think about the fact that yeah i ate pastries for breakfast and i'm probably gonna die soon because of the solar flare that's gonna knock out the grid but when it comes down to it at least today at least today today i have a croissant in my belly and that's all we can ask for all right everyone take care of yourselves out there we'll see you real soon can't wait to see you all in chicago we'll be eating our sausages okay everyone hail yourselves just maghustalations hell me fucker all right also check out our show in serious city of wide shoulders yes this show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network