Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Five Years of Flatulence

Episode Date: July 27, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's weirdest true crime stories including the man who's been farting for 5 years straight, a Russian Chess-Robot attack, the world's youngest serial killer, the Brooklyn Bishop robbed on livestream, a creepy little hero of the week, Listener Emails, Noodling Horror Stories, and MORE!

Hey, everyone, big news from the boys of the last podcast on the left. Check out the last comic book on the left. Our most sinister comic anthology. It now has a volume two. Please pre-order now at Z two comics.com. We have an even bigger stable of artists and talent and writers and everyone that we did for the first one, although the first one is fucking amazing and it's still available on Z two comics.com. But we're asking you to go pre-order number two Z two comics.com. You're going to like the way you read. Thank you so much. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. It was last time I got caught into a D.B. Cooper hole. We've ever been there. We found

yourself in a Dan Cooper hole. His name is Dan Cooper. Yeah, it started as Dan. People changed it to D.B. Cooper on a lark and it's a cooler name. Sure. Sure. I guess. People love this guy. They love this guy. Obviously, he committed the greatest heist of all time. He died. He didn't. He's dead. He never knows. Spend the money. He's dead. Even if D.B. Cooper survived and went to a desert island, what's he going to do? Give the clams a dollar? There's no money where he would have landed. I don't understand. I don't know why I'm triggering now. I actually don't like the D.B. Cooper story. Exactly. Same thing with Amelia Earhart. I'm like, I don't fucking know. Bitch, dad. She drowned. Everyone drowned.

I don't. It's really funny because I was doing the same rant last night. There was like a new series on whatever. It's one of the channels. I was watching it and the whole time it's been like, well, these guys just want to suck D.B. Cooper's dick. I understand. Like, yeah, it's cool. He wore sunglasses. Sure. We're going to get in. We're going to get in hot water. We're going to get in true crime hot water because not as much as he was in when he died or maybe it was cold. People loved Amelia Earhart because she was the first woman to die in a foreign island. You know what else I learned about Amelia? Amelia Bedelia, number one, always my Amelia. That was a fantastic maiden. She was very funny. I love the books.

Amelia Earhart was just an heiress. She was the glissomaxwell of aeronautics. Let's not, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, kissle. Please, for the love of God. Can we please not malign Amelia Earhart right now? No, I'm not. I'm just saying she was very wealthy. The Earhart I love her. The army is going to fucking come after us. You know what? Tell me about the first female pilot that didn't crash. I'm done. All right. Well, we had a great time at Comic-Con. You're welcome to side stories, everyone. You got so mad. How about Amelia Earhart? There's no reason. They're all dead. It's the Malaysian plane. It's because CNN for five years talked about the fucking Malaysian plane. Where is the plane? It's in the ocean.

It's in the ocean. All right. Let me look this up. I am typing in the words before we start. You got so upset. I don't know why. I thought we were going to have fun today. I thought today was going to be a light day. But I'm looking up. I just want to see what happens when you type in best female pilot. Okay. Here we go. Best female pilot. Amelia Earhart's at the very top of it. She crashed. You are missing. It's actually sexist. Again, Kissel. I think everyone's going to be extremely upset with your tape. No, they're not. I had a female pilot. We had a female pilot on one of our Delta. No, they're not. I know for a fact that people are going to be mad because there's some kind of fact about Amelia Earhart that

we don't know. No. And everyone's going to be like, oh, well, she was, oh, she was the first person to have bush hair above 15,000 feet. I mean, I don't know. We're going to find out there's going to be some, there's going to be, there is a landmine here. I don't know about that. God forbid a landmine. Be neutral. I didn't come out and say. No, that was her problem. She probably kept the plane in neutral as opposed to drive. I don't know how planes work. That's dumb. I don't know how planes work. I just don't know. Also, we had a female pilot. We had a female pilot for a Delta. Quimby. Great. Did she live? No, also dead. Okay. So we had a female pilot for a Delta flight. That whoever that was was the top female pilot because we took off. We flew. Oh, you want

a prize and then you want a prize because you checked out the body of a pilot. No. Also pilots have to be quite petite, including the male. Well, it's different. I've seen some houses. Well, anyway, well, I'm, I'm feeling because we went to Comic Con and I did get a bit of a nerd rub, right? And I feel a little trolly. I feel a little trolly. Um, my, uh, this gal that I'm seeing dressed up and it was very, I was very in the mood. She looked beautiful. She was poison ivy. And so I was in the mood. So I said, let's watch squid game, babe. Let's watch squid game this weekend. I watched squid game. No, I know this came out like what, fucking two years ago. I don't know. All I know is everyone talked about squid game for two years. And I'm like, I don't know.

Is it about food? Is it on a food network? Is Guy Fieri involved? It's the single longest nine hours of my life. It should be called squid talks because all they do is talk and all they do is talk. And then the games that they play, give me Jigsaw. Where's the puppet? Where's the puppet? Never going to get nominated. We're literally never going to get nominated for a Golden Globe. I just don't understand. It's all them. I love the show. You did love it. I love the show. But you know, but again, I like the show. I like the tension. I like how brutal it was. Like everybody got the word on games. There was a lot of the y'all got shot in the head. It was very brutal, but you should watch the sadness. If you want brutality, if you want the sadness, that will

give you brutality. Oh my God. But I am. I'll tell you what, I feel the same way because I get it because you feel like you're in a world that's gone insane. I was alone for a week when I was going stag and I was like, it's time for me to enjoy the Mandalorian. Okay. And I did the same thing. I've turned it on and I was like, I couldn't possibly give a shit about this entire thing. And I started watching it. I was like, Mandalorian more like, and I'm sitting there like, I know, but guess what, man? Now we're out of the game. But guess what? You know what we just did, Kissel? We just freed ourselves from the Hollywood machine. I guess we don't have to hold ourselves to the same standards that they all do because you know what I love? Freedom and justice. I agree with

that. That's my favorite. That's my favorite show. My favorite show is watching women get abortions in front of me. Well, isn't that absolutely fantastic? That is a new show coming out with Guy Fieri. He's rolling out to America's abortion dispensaries. And he's going to the wall. You know what actually, it actually really works for Guy Fieri because he hates eggs. He really does. That's a fantastic point. A great pun and a multi-layered joke. All right. Anyway, I'm just saying squid game. I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't think that the games were competitive enough because honestly, it was a rip-off of Saw. And I'm sick of people maligning one of my favorite horror series, The Horeporn. I will give you. Hostile is horror

porn. I don't like it in the movie Hostiles. I feel like actually we're getting closer to this to your reaction because in therapy, a lot of times I have to talk about why do I screen? About something that doesn't matter. What is it about a specific topic? Why did I yell in therapy about the Mandalorian? And I think that I did because I brought it up. I brought it up about how I was dissatisfied about it and I felt like I was a man lost in time. I feel like I was a man in a world that it was going slowly and saying around me, but you know what, I'm burping. You know what? You know what I'm not going to do? What? We're not going to become Christian comedians, right? We're not going to become- I don't want to become a Christian comedian. It's a slow slope.

It's a slow slope. It's a slipper slope. All of a sudden- No, I'm not going to become Jim Brewer. I don't want to be goat boy turned bad. I just want things to be good. And what I'm told that something is the phenomenon of the year and then I watch it and it's just a bunch of fucking assholes talking and then they play a game of marbles. In Saw, there is a motorcycle tornado that rips somebody's skin off of their body and then the person survives and says, thank you. That's a game. One simple sentence has helped me get some peace in this world. It was not made for me. It was. We are chunky, middle-aged, mildly, virtually stable white men. Everything is supposed to be made for us and yet somehow it still sucks. I've never been more angry in my life.

But when I watched the Mandalorian, I just know this is for people that need this. They need Star Wars and I don't need Star Wars. I like Star Wars and I will take it and give it. But yes, again, there are things that are not for us no matter what, no matter how thoroughly they've been tested. And I want to apologize to anyone. We're not sitting here. I'm not going to say I'm not going to apologize to the squid heads. I'm happy that you enjoyed it. I want you to enjoy things. Thank you. Please stop telling me that what you like is good. Now, this wraps up the Adam Carolla Corner of Science Stories for the next year. For the next year. Yes. Because people also absolutely despise us. You know what I mean? Like, I love us.

You know, and I think we're the funniest things on the face of the planet. But there are people walking around currently that absolutely hate every single sound we make. But we're not a multimillion dollar production that has billions of dollars of ad revenue behind it being told that we're good. Everyone initially says that we are hated until people finally listen and then they're like, oh, it's not nearly as bad as I was told it was. It's the opposite. But then there are sometimes that people freak out because they are tasteless and they have no clue how to run their lives and their garbage. But those of those, the people that do understand us, those are our people. Okay, so those are your people. Well, reach out to me if you didn't love Squid Game,

either. Just reach out. I need a community. You see, I like Squid Game. I really like Squid Game. It was more that the other thing, because that one didn't make me mad. Let's talk a little bit about how there is a constant need. I started with the DV Cooper thing mostly just because it's people are still investing their entire lives to finding DV Cooper, right? There was a guy on this show that I was watching. I was called like DV Cooper, man playing how? Like that was the name of it. I remember what it was. But the head detective was a guy who was like, I've been through 30 years and two marriages looking for DV Cooper. And I plan to spend the rest of my life being like, dude, I get it. We're all very curious. But DV Cooper is not worth your love, the love in your life

leaving you. Unless you, because guess what? She's not staying. No, she's not staying. Does he think that he would still possibly even be alive? I mean, even if he survived, there is a possibility. Yeah, he's very, very old. If it is who they say they think it is, they think it's like four different people, they would be very old or dead. But it's more about they want, they want to make their name kissle. They want to make themselves a part of the DV Cooper story. And that's why there's another story that's very similar to that. And there's another update on it. And I have no clue if it's real or not. Now, there was a thing called the Tomom Shude case. This was a, it's called the mystery of the Summerton man, which was a guy that was

basically an unidentified man who was his body. I don't know if we've covered it. We might have covered it in some form very scantily on last podcast on the left, but not scantily. We weren't wearing lingerie. Yeah, no. That's how I always imagine a case that we don't fully cover. I just imagine thin fabric on voluptuous breasts every day. But he was a man that was found dead in 1948. It was in this place called Summerton Park Beach. It was in Adelaide, South Australia, right? So it's down in Australia. We went to Adelaide. It was awesome. Do you remember with the little bar and how like, how cool was that hippie little town? It's really nice. It was fantastic. But basically they found this guy lying dead, fully dressed on the beach. And there was

no identity that they could attach to him. Basically, they couldn't figure out. They sent a bunch of pictures around. They couldn't figure out what it was. They found a suitcase of his at a train station that he had put there. There was some articles in there. And a part of the thing that was truly very mysterious is that when they found his body, there was a phrase, a piece of paper that had been ripped out of a book that had the phrase, Tamam Shud on it, which is a Persian phrase, meaning it is over or is finished. It's the end of a poem, which is called the ruby out of Omar Kayam, right? I think I'm saying that. Nailed it. Nailed it. Nailed it. That's the name of the book, right? And the idea is like,

they thought that they was highly mysterious. And then they also found a note with what looks like some form of code. It's a bunch of random letters and numbers on a sheet of paper. Now, they had been looking for this guy for a long fucking time. And there was a bunch of leads. I'm not going to get into it now because it's a long, it really is a long story. Well, was it just, is it possible it was just the crossword puzzle from the New York Times? You know, on that on Sunday, it's like, why, why do I even purchase this? It's impossible. Why am I a part of this? I got the app. I got the app to try to make sure that I can fucking, because I'm sick of it. I don't do this to docus and I don't want to get Alzheimer's.

So that's what they say you got to do, right? So I get the app can't even complete it if I wanted to. What? No. What? So what's the point of this story, Henry? Oh, the point of this story is you said you started with quite a lead in and then you said, but we're not going to get into it. So now we're going into a little bit. All right. So he there was some theories that he was a spy, right? Because they could not find anything about him. Like they didn't know anything about his body. They know that when they found him that he had a, he had a rail ticket from Adelaide to Henley Beach, another spot that he had not used. But then there was another ticket that had taken him into town. They also found an empty packet of juicy fruit gum. There was an army club of cigarette

packet. This is what I'm talking about. And they had a quarter full box of Bryant and May matches. Isn't that fascinating? Some people said that they saw him lying there. A lot of people make commentary that he was very handsome. And they found him, right? Very, very handsome. So they know that he ate a pasty before he's dead. They do believe that he died of poisoning, right? Because he had mucus all through the inside. This is, do you want this? You excited about this? I don't know yet. I'm giving you details. Why do I care about this person? Well, it's because they did a, there is a new lead on him, that this group has been trying to get going for a long time. And they're saying is, is that thanks to the advances in science,

that there is a, they, they took old hairs of his. So they made a death mask in him. Fun. But why do I, what did this man do to warrant anyone giving a shit? It's mysterious. It's mysterious. It's nobody knows who he is. Nobody knows who he is. Right? They can't find anyways. Is he got a body? And no one knows where he came from. They think, they thought he was some person that he wasn't. And then they thought he was another guy and he wasn't. Or as I say, the D.B. Cooper curse. Oh, right? Where the idea is that that's what they call it in D.B. Cooper. They say that, that the people keep like the problem with D.B. Cooper is you keep thinking it's the guy, but the next thing you know, it's not the guy. It's cause he died. It's cause he went to the

river because he's dead. So he's much like the detective in squid game who doesn't register when they put the scanner up to his ear because he's not actually a member of the law enforcement PlayStation crew. But that also the detective in squid game. I don't want to keep on working on it. But he was the worst detective I've ever heard because he kept asking the questions as if he was never there before. And then they're like, circle, have you not? Don't you remember your circle? And then he would be like, why? Why? Why? It's TV. He can't immediately get shot in the head. It's television. It was awful. But also Kissel, it is interesting because you are so hurt because you finally tried to show vulnerability to content that was outside of your purview and it disappointed

you. And now you're afraid. And that's why you spend so long going. I don't wash. I don't wash myself. Yeah. That's why. Cause you're afraid of being vulnerable to things. That's very true. You're afraid of they will disappoint you. Also, if you have a bit of an odor around you, nobody speaks. Nobody speaks. Nobody comes around you. So, all right. Okay. They are now saying this guy named Derek Abbott, who's a professor. He's not wasting his life because he's from the University of Adelaide. And he says that the body of a man that he found in one of the city's beaches in 1948, and it belonged to a guy named Carl Webb. So he's an electrical engineer. It's Carl. It's Carl. Yep. It's not a goddamn mermaid. You don't know though. It could have been anything.

It could have been anyone. The one thing about the people that look for D.B. Cooper, Carl Webb, they demonize the Sasquatcher, the crypto zoologist, the one who's looking for answers. At the very least, we know if Bigfoot is around, it would still at least be alive. So I think it makes more sense to hunt Bigfoot than it does D.B. Cooper. It's Carl. All right. If Derek Abbott and this woman that is also must be as equally mentally, I don't know what they are. They are hyper focused on this. They're hyper focused on this. It's Rachel Egan. They think that they have found DNA that matched from. So when he died, when they brought him in to, I guess because pictures weren't enough, they gave him a death cast, right? They

put a mask on his head. And when they pulled it off, a bunch of his hairs got caught in the plaster and then they use their hairs to do the DNA test. It's a fascinating story. It is. I mean, honestly, it could have happened to me. If I wasn't so large, when I took off all of my clothes and I ran into the ocean in Florida at three o'clock in the morning, not realizing how strong high tide is. If I was six foot four, I would have been out there and I'd be chum for the sharks. But thankfully my big stern body kept me from going to the sea. But anyway, I want to talk about a story speaking of odor that is really near and dear to both of our hearts. And I'm interested to hear your opinion because it due to suing for $250,000. Now this guy in 2017,

he was British then and he's British now. He ate a ham sandwich, a ham roll, right? Okay. So a ham roll there is different than a sandwich. Well, I think they call a ham sandwich there. Yeah, a roll. Yeah. It's just a ham sandwich. Yeah. I just want to make sure we're clear as hell on this. Absolutely. And of course, he got it from a Christmas market because ham and Christmas go together very well. It's not a holiday for the pigs. But anyway, so he was there 2017. Guys, his name is Tyrone Prates. He's now 46. And he says, since he ate this GD ham roll, he hasn't stopped farting 2017. So it's been five years. He says it's been five years of consistent nonstop flatulence. This is a thing because Fernando, as soon as we brought this up

and said that he man, he hasn't stopped farting it. This is okay. Is he farting in phases? Or is he literally constantly farting? Well, this is because he says here right here, he got sick when he first ate it. He said he got a high grade fever and severe dairy. Right? Yep. Then he said he was in bed for five weeks from a ham sandwich. Buddy, it's a poisonous ham sandwich, the pigs revenge. It sounds like very specific UK aristocratic gastrointestinal problems. Well, you know, some of our friends have. Well, but you know what? I actually ordered chicken vindaloo yesterday. I love Indian food and obviously the Brits say what you will, but they did create the modern Indian food that we eat here. They can ham some spice.

I don't know. Chicken vindaloo. It's crazy. There is no spice in this. It's a ham sandwich. But it's weird that the British eat beans and then they just jump over the hottest to the hottest thing ever, which is nice. I don't know. I don't know if their spice level is the same as our spice level here because when I even went there, they're all like, well, it's right here. This is real spicy. And then I ate it and I didn't feel anything. Well, there was a little pepper on there. The man claims that his ongoing gas is a serious problem. As you can imagine, Henry, how are you going to get a job? How are you going to be even a gas station attendant or a teacher? You could be a gas station attendant.

Perhaps. Unless of course you could be a mechanic. That's true. You could do all the times where there are other smells. That's where I do it. That is a good point. And actually, there are some jobs where if the person is farting a lot, you're like, that fits even a chef. Oh, very much so. And also, I like the idea of if you're farting all the time, I relate to you. You're human. Don't be all highfalutin on me. You know who should be. You know, it's a good person who farts all the time. It's somebody like a sommelier who has a hyper fancy job, but it's in a situation where every time he goes like a... Every time he does that, they have to go, ha, ha.

Nice. Okay. The service is incredible here. Fantastic. But he says it's an ongoing problem again. He says that it's fatigue, altered bowel function associated with... He says a constant churning within his abdomen and flatulence. Absolutely. Excessively so. He says that his belly churns so much he can't sleep. Absolutely. And he's not the only one. There's been a total of 16 people in three different groups that complained of similar symptoms after eating that quote, the stall. So apparently... But the company is saying, which I think is funny is that they're not saying that it's not, it didn't happen at all. They're just saying, not to 16 of them. They literally just saying that...

It's too many people. This sample group was not big enough, not small enough. Absolutely. So be careful what you eat out there. The guy again is suing for 250,000 dollars. I'm not sure if even that amount of money would help him. I mean, you're still going to fart constantly, but it reminds me of the woman that farted and sold them in glass jars. And she sold quite a bit, but then she had some massive medical issues and she had to stop doing that. And now I think she's just giving away pieces of her hair and pieces of her skin and toenails and things like that.

She wasn't doing it right. She wasn't supported with breath. I guess not. But either way, be careful out there. This thing is, man. Like, yeah, I know his belly's churning and he's upset, but I also, I'm just going to put a little bit on there. Like, I feel like this might not be entirely the ham sandwiches issue. Most of the rest of the people who bought the ham sandwiches didn't have this issue seems to be the ultimate meetup between his very weak system and a ham sandwich. I mean, now side stories LPOTL and gmail.com. Have you ever lost a job due to food poisoning? I'd love to know. Farting too much. Let us know. I also, if you fart so much, I don't think it would

smell all the time because sometimes it's just air in there. You also might just be winking it and the air is getting sucked up there. We know the old Howard Stern when it was good and he had a person play the asshole, play the trumpet with his asshole. Suck it up. Maybe it's just air. And then it just comes down to the noise and then you just let everyone know, hey guys, I got a 2D butt and then it's just a fun little thing. Be like, hey Rodney, let's hear it. There he is. My thing is, if I'm one of these flappy-wigged, fucking fake lawyers in the UK, the only way I believe that this was true was that I'd need him to fart in court. Oh yeah. And what I need also is I need a full, like you need to set up a cam

and see, I need to see a full time lapse of how much we're farting because 250 Gs, 250 Gs is a lot of money, right? We're going to give you 250. Actually, in the end, the long-term, it's not either. No, it's really not. It's 150. It's 125. Yeah, 125 and then you're still a fart guy and then, I mean, it's not, this guy's got a lead in. There's no, there's no way to, there's no plug. There's no like way to go up in there and fix his gut, reset it. First of all, he needs to move to France. He would be like the president. He would be like, Macron, get out of here. I'm not sure if he's still there anymore or whatever. I don't know. I don't know what's happening here.

It's not that we follow American politics and those are fucking crazy enough. But he needs to move to France. He would be very successful. He would be very cool. But you know, on cars, when you're a real douchebag and you put something on your muffler to make it sound bigger so your cock grows, put that on your asshole. She's like, whee. Whee! We didn't start the fire. Get like the Billy Joel sound pack. All of you, all of these things are referring to a person who is fun. I agree. This person is not obviously, it is gone past fun for this person. Yeah.

They are extremely upset because they have lost control of their butt. And when it comes down to it, if your butt is rioting, you really need to think about how the rest of your system. system. What's happening, right? I agree. You're going to address the happiness within your system. Learn from Civilization 6. Live from your grave. Learning a new language is hard. Trust me, I know I'm just starting to learn English. But with Babbel, you can learn quickly, easily, and it's fun. Now is the perfect time to start Babbel for all your summer travels. Babbel is the language learning app that sold more

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live classes. Plus, it comes with a 20-day money-back guarantee. Here are last podcasts on the left. We got some free Babbel codes, and it has been awesome. I'm learning how to say things like, Chow and Bajor. Aren't I getting classy? Right now, save up to 60% off your subscription when you go to babbel.com slash left. That's Babbel.com slash left for up to 60% off your subscription. Babbel, language for life. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. Now, this is another story. This is another story that it might seem to vindicate you, but I also think that this is really just about, ah, you got to be careful out there what you let your kids do.

All right. I'm going to put this on the child. It does vindicate me. You've been on the wrong side of history for the robot wars ever since we started this. Robots are not going to protect you. They're not going to defend you. I am going to have them. No, you're not. No, you didn't even get, no, Jim Carrey is going to have them because he's Dr. Robotnik. We are not. So anyway, the robot, first of all, we have a submachine gun robot that everyone's like, well, raffle. I can't believe that happened. I told you that was going to happen. We've been talking about it. We've literally been talking about it since that, that dog thing came out that obviously we're going to put a gun on it.

That's why it's got the stabilizing unit. It's not like we're going to ride it, which would also be fun because that would be cool if I had the gun on it and a saddle. Then it's fun. You wait. Jess, can you believe the kids don't want to play that game? You know the story we're going to talk about. This robot attacked a child during a chess tournament and Henry's glee spreads throughout the land. This child, right? Because okay, you can see the video. It is entertaining. It's fun. I know it's scary, but it's also fun. So this is in Russia and it shows just how serious even the robots are in Russia. Robots do not have a nationality. The robot didn't get mad. The robot doesn't feel anything

the robot was a robot and simply acted out of instinct, which makes it so freaking dangerous. So this happened. So this is Sergei Smagan, who was the president of the Chess Federation of Russia, which actually must be very serious, right? Because he's a little boy and the boy was something like fucking eight or seven. He was a seven year old child. Yeah. Yeah. So you see this video. He's playing against this giant robot arm and this robot is controlling the pieces because, you know, it lights up, the robot arm comes down, picks it up. See the kid you can see obviously very gifted to be playing against this robot, a very talented young chess player in Russia. They start them at like three or four, right? It's a very

big deal. Chess is a massive deal in Russia. I guess. And this kid made a move, right? And the robot went into action. Now the thing about chess is that if you're playing against a person, the one thing you're not supposed to do is touch the board when it is not your turn, right? Or after you've done the thing, right? You're not supposed to do it, right? Because number one, what is also what is Russia the number one in fucking sleight of hand chicanery? They are very good. A lot of magicians, a lot of card guys come out of Russia, right? Right? The only thing I know about chess is from the save by the bell episode where Screech had to go against I believe the Russian dude and it was a very competitive chess game

and that's what I know about chess. So. Yes. And then that's all you actually really need to know for the story. Okay. Because as the child, child like mess with his keys, but as a child would have, it didn't have any disappointment, right? It didn't understand that you're not supposed to touch a piece anymore and it was against a lot. But the thing was that no one really, no one told the kid, Hey, the robot doesn't know what to do, right? The robot is there to play chess. It's not your friend, right? So your victim blaming. So your victim. No, I'm saying, no, I'm saying they could have told the kid a little bit more about this scenario because the kid went to go adjust

the piece while the robot was moving. And because I don't know if it was necessarily because it was against the rules or if it was because there was movement on the board, the robot grabbed his finger like it's what and it's because for the robot, it's that thing too, which is like truly obviously the most scary part about robots is that it exhorted like it's no effort on the robot's behalf. And it doesn't like, it doesn't get mad, right? It's like, like it just kind of silently mashed his finger like just grabbed it like you do out of a claw machine and just snapped it in half. Absolutely. According to a very strong, according to a Russian news website, which of course

you can trust, the robot did not like that the boy was acting in such a hurry. Okay. So he grabbed the boys. This is from the chess Federation. They are all, that's what I love about this. That's why it's a very Russian story. They're all on the robot side. I know because they're a bunch of delicious maniacs and they want the chess. Isn't that not just a euphemism or an analogy for war? Okay. Which they're in right now. So then, so they grabbed the boy's index finger and he squeezed it hard and we'll know if that boy has a new fetish. But anyway, so then people around rushed to help and pulled the finger out, out, out the finger of the young man, but the fracture could not be avoided.

No, it was very scary. And this, I love this quote. The boy is all right. They put the blaster guest on the finger to heal faster. Yes, there are certain safety rules and the child apparently violated them. And when he made the move, he did not notice that he had to wait. This is an extremely rare case. The first I can recall. Yeah, no show. He's the first time a 70 year old was playing chess against a goddamn robot that has no ability to understand what it's doing other than play quick. The robots played many games in public spheres. This is the first child to break the rules, right? The thing is, it's really about the child not breaking the rules. No, it's because the robot doesn't understand

this humans. Oh my God. You got to play by the robots rules, right? You're now in the robots world at that point. You have to figure out and like, and they even made a big, funny joke about whether or not the robot will be put to sleep. But he said, no, it's actually a very big money maker for them. So it's not going. I'm sure they love it. And if anything, the child will be put to sleep. And if we know the Russians, they're going to shame the child for not being strong enough. Honestly, that child's got polonium in his blood right now. E very well. Don't eat the sushi, my friend. You will be dead. It reminds me of the first game, the only good game in squid game, which was red light green light, where

the robot knew if you were moving at all. Wow, you're just so you're still upset. You're so upset. I'm very upset. It was nine hours of my life that I can never get back. And nor do I want it to be. Why did you watch so much of it? Why don't you just stop watching? We had made a commitment. No, you don't. This is what I tell Natalie. This is what I tell Natalie. No, we made a commitment. And I wanted to see who the fucking asshole was behind that's the only cool mask in the entire thing. I want to see who it was. You just watch the last episode. That's what I did with Game of Thrones. It wasn't even the last episode they revealed it. I was so sick of Game of Thrones and I hated it so much that in the

end I just watched the last episode be like, there he is. There's the king. Done. Mystery solved. There it is. Yeah, Game of Thrones. By the way, they're making a prequel. So that will be excited. Give me more of it. I definitely not a new idea. I hate them. If we can just get a multiverse for the Game of Thrones, that'd be great. It's going to have the seven year old boys named Christopher and he is among the 30 strongest chess players in Moscow aged up to nine years old. So really, that's how serious they take chess. They know for a fact he's in the 30, he's one of the top 30 up to nine. From zero to nine. From come to nine years old, he is the best chess player around. He's in the top 30. So that in America,

I don't think that a nine year old even, I mean, we will be lucky to know how to play the game. Sorry at this point. Oh, you're all fucked. I just like how they took the robot side. Honestly, the thing, I think that what does make this story truly very Russian as well, that kids only be a better chess player because of this. I don't think he's going to be allowed to play chess again because he broke his little chess finger. No, no, no, no. He's the other hand. He's done his body. No, you can't switch it. You can't switch it. Come on. I mean, I don't know. Do you use that? Do you have a, like, I use my jerk off hand to do all sorts of things. Well, I just don't want to know that. Anyway,

all right. Well, let's move on to some different stories that don't involve the upcoming robot war. Let's see here. What about this one when it comes to jobs? Emily Howell Warner is another big female pilot. What did she do? She lived to a nice natural death. What did she like? She was in the hall of fame of flying. She died of Alzheimer's disease. Well, there you go. An employee from Asheville in Buncombe County. That's true. He says, he went viral because he says, I got fired for being late. Asheville has a crazy heroin epidemic going on. I was walking to work one day. I was flied by a few people towards a homeless couple. The guy was unconscious and the woman was losing her mind and screeched to me. Absolutely

wasted. Her partner was out cold with blood running from his nose. So he tried to help him and then he got fired. What? That story. What? I don't know, buddy. How did you cut from that? Why didn't you cut to the story about the woman from the show? My area of Margolies talking about how Arnold Schwarzenegger forwarded on her. Now that's the story. She openly said that he forwarded on her. She's upset. She said that he was very egotistical. I'm sure. She forwarded on her when he was making the movie End of Days in 1999. All right. All right. Let's talk about this other story. We are garbage today. This is the worst radio show in the world. Yeah. Amarjeet Sada. Now this is a fucked up story. Okay. Amarjeet

Sada was is now known. They're thinking they're saying it is they are they're calling him the world's youngest serial killer. Yes. Now this was this is fucked up. This came from his early life. He was born into a poor family in Bihar. I guess he was forced to work in a very young age which doesn't help your attitude. No. No. Like I don't think it does. He was born in 1998. Yeah. So I mean he's not even pat. He's still beat 9-11. Right. He's still got in there. But in 2006 he murdered his cousin. Right. And then literally two months later he murdered his own baby sister. This is when he was eight years old. He murdered them by strangling by beating them and strangling the death. Now at the time the family was

like this is a private family matter. We can't get police involved which is incorrect. Well every culture is a little bit different. They want to keep it insular. Keep it inside the family family secrets. Once you were one accidental death is what you got. That's what we talked about yesterday. It's serious. Right. We all got one accidental death. But you can't do too. Right. So they finally said all right we won't get the police involved. And then he killed a third child. Six month old. Right. And they said he apparently he was laughing and stuff. When they when the police went to talk to him he was like he told them everything that he did. And then he was just like having a good time. Basically he said he was hungry.

And then they only can't they can't do anything to if you're a child because he was literally 10 years old. And so they put him in jail for I want to say he was allowed to leave once he turned 18. Hmm. And then he laughed on a fake name because he was allowed to change his name. He was released in 2016. Now I'm not going to say that he is. I mean maybe he is the youngest serial killer but he didn't know what the hell he was doing. He must have had some trouble childhood because I don't believe he's killed since. I also this is really just shows how far America has fallen because that's our shit. Yeah. Now other people are going to be better than that and than us. Well it's very possible and I hope someone

can take the reins on that one. They can definitely take the reins. You can definitely have more killer kids if you really want to. That's what we're supposed to know is we have enough. We do. But no I actually but the main crux of that story is is that nobody knows where he is. Well just follow the trail of bodies. He and Amelia Earhart you'll be able to find them somewhere. I'm sure. He must have had some say it now. What. I believe Amelia Earhart didn't she live on that island for a while. I think they said that she might have lived there. Yeah they say anything because there's no because it's like a horoscope because that's what I could tell you that I married her. Did you know she found a mermaid. Did you.

I don't know. You can say I don't know. No but yeah I feel like in a way though you're just you're so dismissive of mystery. I'm not dismissive of mystery. I'm that's why literally cryptozoology. I think I take it more seriously than people trying to hunt for D.B. Cooper or Amelia Earhart no matter what they're dead. It's the same thing with John Kenneth John F. Kennedy Jr. Well this is like I have to look like why is she she is a big deal. Yeah she's a big deal. I know she's a big deal and I know she broke some barriers but she did grow up hyper freakin wealthy and she was very famous during the time period. She was the reigning queen of the air and immediately after her return to

the United States she undertook an exhausting lecture tour in 1928 1929 so actually she was a very big figure in aviation Kissel. All right I am very happy about that. Okay let's get to a story that actually makes some modicum of sense. You want sense. There is a bishop. Now this is a man who I do not like out of Brooklyn because this bishop he was very flashy right and he was he loves spending that money. Have you ever followed. Oh is it preacher sneaks. Oh yes it's fantastic. These preachers don't worry the money that you give them is not going to God. It's going to shoes. It is where they're even this is past me right because like I love like my J's. I really found my other guy somewhere in America. Oh yeah

dude. I don't do this shit. Preacher sneakers preachers and sneakers and it's wild like you just see this fucking asshole. These shoes are gross. I'm looking at these ones these ones these they're like whatever these the landman shoes like and it's just like it's like fifteen hundred bucks. Dude it's disgusting. I hate those people. They take money from people who don't have a lot of it and they think that they're doing something good with that money but as we know with Joel Osteem not even opening up his church during the Hurricanes of Houston. No that's not even the only crime. Complete and utter scumbags. No he just had six hundred thousand dollars in the wall of a bathroom due to a construction

error. All those people are disgusting. I saw Joel Osteem at Sirius Radio in New York. The man is dressed to the tens. It must be a thousand dollar suits this person wears anyway. Dude this fucking preacher you look at him honestly. He's looks dope. I love the clothes but I don't like him on him. Absolutely. It was a flashy Brooklyn Bishop. He was robbed in the middle of his live stream service on Sunday when gun Toten Crooks accosted his podium and fled with up to four hundred thousand dollars in jewelry. Good. Take it all from him. It's not his money. He took it from his constituents. He took it from the people in the pews. This man doesn't deserve a goddamn thing. He drives a Rolls Royce. His name is Lamar

Whitehead and to be honest he wasn't shot. They just like they took the stuff. They had the guns they're like give me all your jewelry and then they fled. No it's very little victims here. There's very few victims here because no one got hurt. They did not fight. They didn't shoot anybody. They didn't hit anybody. They just took the money and left which is why people like D.B. Cooper as well. I was looking at a man Rolls Royces are so fucking expensive. These are crazy dude. I don't really understand the amount the idea of paying for the amount of money that a house costs for a car. Like I don't get it. Not to mention just jewelry as you're in there pretending to profess the good deeds of a Jesus Christ himself. According to Whitehead this is one of the

sermons. This is a line from the sermon. He says how many of you have lost faith because you saw somebody else die? All right, all right. He then said several times before hitting the floor on his hands and his knees and at this point the armed man took $400,000 worth of jewelry from Whitehead, his wife and maybe some church goers. He was dressed in a gold trimmed maroon suit with sleeve cuffs. The guy is just the epitome of disgusting and anyway, he didn't die. They just got some jewelry. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah. Nobody got hurt. So who gives a fucking shit? Honestly, it's one less. It's like I probably have money. I'll go back into the community in some ways they perform. But you know, I just have never, I've never particularly understood

the idea of like, I can't wear, like there's certain things you can't wear. Like I have like a couple of my like nice J's that I can't even wear because I'm afraid to get to hurt. I'm just saying, I just want to get hurt. I don't know how you just wear $1,500 pairs of shoes. He has what is a pet peeve of mine. It's very similar to Laura Ingram on Fox News with her gold cross. He's got a diamond studded crucifix because you know that's exactly what it was. That's what Jesus would have wanted. That's what he would have wanted. Absolutely. The only time he showed any form of violence was to destroy all of the people, all of the, the, the vendors, all of the people and that's it. Yeah, yeah. Well, there was some, there were some parables.

Obviously the full of shit. There were parables there where he said, get the money out. But of course the money finds its way back in. It does. Hey, what's up everyone? How you doing? Ben Kissel here with Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, it's me, Ben. Yeah, bro. Henry Zabrowski is smoking some of that sweet last podcast on the left, babe. Go out there and purchase yourself some. I hope you enjoy it. We have Sativa. We have Indica and we have a hybrid and I have to tell you, for my personal experience, they are wonderful. Super tasty, live resin. You really get the delicious, weedy taste, which is what I like and three different experiences. You go to your local vape store and get it. Absolutely. Thank y'all so much for supporting the show. We absolutely love

you. Can't wait to see you on the road and get that vape, put it in your brain and have a good time. And if you want to set your favorite weed store, give them a call and ask for them by name. Last podcast on the left, it's weed. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. Well, speaking of finding its way back in, I think it's time for Hero of the Week. Yeah. Yeah. Hero of the Week. All right. I'm going to give it to this weird-ass little kid. So, there was a- Look at you. Isn't it nice? This is a person. So, the headline in the New York Post reads, Alabama residents get a fright over real life Chucky roaming their neighborhood. Yeah. This is fun. I like this kid. I like this kid in the same way when we went to Comic-Con,

there's the street preachers. They got the big signs that say, repent, you're going to hell. And they have their little microphones, which by the way, they cheat now and they pre-record those messages. So, they don't need to shout it all the time. It's also basically a booth at Comic-Con. Oh, yeah. It's just a booth. For them to be there. But there's something about, the end is now. Surrender, repent, because it's all such bullshit. But there's something about it where I'm like, the circle, the quilt of life. So, you know what it is, too, is that it's the, I love them. And my other favorite Comic-Con phenomena of all time is a couple having a meltdown fight in costume. I saw that.

It is, God, it's just my favorite. There was a situation involving a fairly different looking Harley Quinn. Harley Quinn from the multiverse that Golden Corral started and financed. And she was just screaming at some dude dressed like, I don't know, the Lorax. I don't really know what he was dressed. But man, it was funny. It was really awesome. And I don't know what they were fighting over, but they definitely had a couple of too many drinks and then I don't know what happened. But anyway, Alabama neighborhood, they got photos of this real life Chucky. It's now gone viral. The human Chucky seen in photos is standing on the side of the road of a residential neighborhood in Pinson, Alabama, waiting for cars to pass. It was actually a five-year-old boy named Jackson

who brought Steven Leicester to the people's community. The coolest kid I've seen. I love this shit. I love it. According to Kendra Walden, this is the person who I want to scare. She's a witness of the boy. She is also a resident there. She says on Facebook, dear parents of the little boy in the Chucky costume in Pinson, get your kid. I almost had a heart attack. You got to be strong enough to handle it. Yeah, whatever, bro. Bro. She added, we took some pictures. We thought it was so funny. So the kid, if you look at the picture of him, freaking horrifying. He looks great. He looks great. He looks like a perfect. It's the perfect Chucky. It's what I want to see. I just love,

again, same thing with Comic-Con. I love watching it be live. I love seeing everyone in costumes while of Halloween because I love the bringing fantasy to real life. That's so much fun. He probably didn't even know he was doing that. No, he's just having fun in a Chucky costume. Well, according to Brittany Reed, Jackson's mom, he likes to wear costumes around the house. And then she said, that's just his personality. He dresses up in different costumes throughout the week. He likes to make people laugh. And in this case, he made him scared. That kid's going to be our fucking boss. He's going to be our boss in 20 years. I'm fine with it. Yeah, I love it. Yes. So he wanted to dress up as Chucky and you walked around the neighborhood and I don't know.

He is now according to his mom. He's Facebook famous, which you don't wish that upon your child. No, no, no, don't let that happen to him. Yes. No, don't let that happen. But either way, Jackson, you're here over the week because you know what? In this world where we have such true whores, sometimes it's nice to just be reminded how fun a little serial killer, what do we call it? Toy figurine doll can be. It is. It really is fun. And I want to say I got a lot of people. A lot of people reached out to me. They said they understood what I meant about the differences between the boy and the orphan. And they understand what I'm saying. You don't yet understand because you don't understand what you're saying. I should see the boy. I saw the boy. I'm just saying other

people get me. I also want to say thank you to all the people who also understand and have understood my correct opinion that mac and cheese is overrated. Wait, when did you even say that? There are some dissenters. I've said it many times. There have been some dissenters. What are you talking about? Mac and cheese is just rated. I'm just saying it's overrated. It is overrated because people love it. And I find there is actually very few. I've had very few spectacular mac and cheeses. And they've all basically been made by Jackie. I had one in San Antonio that had brisket in it that was simply the best brisket. Yes. Again, I'm not saying it's just bad. I'm just not saying it's the best thing I've ever had. Yeah, it's not on the food

network show. Best thing I ever had. It has been. There has been several different versions of absolutely. Look up the cheesy version. You know what I will say? I feel like we've been a little bit at each other's throats today and I don't like that. We have to kiss you. Oh, I'm not even mad at you. So we're mad at topics and yelling next to each other. That's right. We're like pardon the interruption because we're still friends, but yet we can debate. The one thing that I think is super overrated when it comes to mac and cheese, which I don't think should go together is lobster mac and cheese. It ruins the lobster and ruins the mac and cheese. It's a waste of lobster. Same thing I feel about lobster rolls as well when they drown them in

mayonnaise. When it comes down to it, I want to say it's a lobster. But no, I'll never fight you truly because if we do ever have to fight, it has to be due to the death. It will be. And I know I prefer more of a master blaster situation because we do have to come together when the machines take over. As again, we're seeing it happen more and more. What the audience is seeing is the second act of our relationship. The third act is when we come together to fight the world. All right. Yeah, we'll get it. Also, one little update, the methanol. Do you remember I told you about the 21 year old, the South African teenagers, the 21 when they just died randomly in a club? They said they all had methanol in their system and they have no clue how they got it in there.

They all basically were poisoned, but nobody knows how it's gotten there. They don't know what happened. As we also said, it was an unregulated club, but it is interesting. It is a little bit mysterious. So I got a couple of conversations about necrophilia. Oh, great. Great. But it is interesting because we talk about how the idea that when you are being prosecuted for crimes, what they will do is sometimes put a bunch of... They'll add a bunch of shit on there to help whittle it down for a plea deal. Absolutely. They all of the lawyers and the DA, they all sit down and have a conversation about what they're going to charge you with, right? Which is interesting because it can't really go. But what is weird is I got a couple of places. You know, there's like

more than half states or it's like a shockingly large amount of states. Necrophilia is not illegal. Okay. It's just frowned upon. Oh, okay. They just go like, ew. Yuck. Oh. You think they go... What? Right? But yes, they do that. What they do is they... In my state, we actually have these things called offenses on the books that are classified as aggravating offenses. Neither felony nor misdemeanor just require extra prison time, which have become tools to threaten harsher sentences if defendants don't plead. And it sucks because it's great when you do it against somebody like Gislaine Maxwell, but it sucks when they do it against like a kid. You know what I mean? They just happen quite a bit in juvenile court. But that's a lot of it. So someone said that I

was like sort of on the money. We're often with prosecutors before we charge cases to charge higher or lower crimes as part of a plea bargaining down the road in court. For example, you could charge a felony one offense and a felony three offense with the felony one being the bargaining chip to hopefully get the defendant to plead to the lesser felony three offense. This is due to felony ones carrying much more jail time than felony threes. So most of the time, defendants and their attorneys will agree to plead to the lesser charges to avoid longer jail or probation sentences. Absolutely. Taylor's oldest time. We know the trickery that goes on to the system. Also, I got an example of what in the fuck noodling is. Okay. So noodling, which is also

sometimes referred to as gravelling, can be as simple or I didn't know clue as simple or as complicated as the end user deems it to be. So I'm here to tell you that while using bait can be effective, it isn't required. I know this because when I was a tender young boy of 11, my father decided it was time to make a man out of me. Okay. He did this by driving us to the Ohio river and teaching me the art of noodling and consisted of diving like a maniac underneath the surface of the water, running your hands under any large rocks you might find until you feel movement. Then you reach around sightless and soundless in the murky water until you find what you hope is a fish's mouth and then you drench it up out of the water by its jaw. Okay. Now what my father

failed to tell me about catfish is that instead of having teeth and in the sort of traditional sense, they have these abrasive sharp clusters of tiny pseudo teeth called cartiform embedded in their mouths. So imagine brake pads cost with high grit sandpaper and you get the general idea of what they are like. On that day, I pulled the catfish that was half of my height from the water, holding on for dear life as it's ground away at the flesh of my right hand with every thrash it made and desperate attempts for freedom. So by the time I had gotten it to shore, the palm and backing of my right hand were torn into an unrecognizable lump. And for the next week, it grew three times its size and had turned a dark grizzly plum color. No doubt due to an

infection caused by a combination of bacteria from the fish's mouth or whatever ungodly, abhorrent substances dwell within the Ohio River. My father was proud. My mother was terrified. All right. There you go. Oh, you ate it. Okay. Got you. He's a manly man now. There you go. You got to do it. And to me, that's a lot because I want to get to fishing, but I want the pole. I agree. I'll never forget what my father caught. He caught a keeper, but he couldn't, he couldn't do it. So it just died on our front lawn throughout the whole day. What? He couldn't cut its head off. Oh, my dad's very angry. Yeah, but he couldn't whack it with the stick. No, he just couldn't. He couldn't do it. So it just died on our front yard. And it took

like 10 hours because I couldn't shake it. It's so weird because it's like so much worse. I know. To just let it die like that. It was a stressful day for the family. And then we buried it in the backyard. So guys, I want to say thank you to everybody who came out to San Diego. God. San Diego. To our, to our sightings. I want to say thank you to Z2 Comics. Yeah. If they crushed it. David Melgian. Josh and Courtney. David Dasmalchian was the coolest motherfucker. He was the coolest motherfucker on the face of the planet. He's so cool. I hope he'll continue to speak to us. He was so cool. I didn't ask, I didn't ask any dude questions. I released him from that. I hope to do it in private. Maybe one day he'll let me. I did see him and I was like, I really enjoyed you

in Suicide Squad. The James Gunn one. You were Pokedot Man. It was really good. And then he told a little story about it. He did. This is cool. He was very generous with his time. Next time what we'll do is we'll, we'll press him next time. Maybe we can get him alone in a room. Maybe we'll be, we'll scare him a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. But we got to live every day. Don't hide under that rock. Yeah. You might be some lowly catfish to somebody else. But to you, you're a great white shark. All right. You got to keep swimming because if not some big fucking asshole's kid is going to come dig under there and he's going to pull you up to the harsh sun. Right. Yeah. And then you're going to love wishing for death as fast as humanly possible and hope

that they do it. And he doesn't leave you just gasping on the beach for your, for dear hope, for dear life. Right. Because if you can, because I do believe in the end, you'll laugh knowing you fed a big old family from Wisconsin and so thankful that your guts and your, your, your life could be used to further along the dreams of a six with seven, 11 year old who all he wants to do is to make him laugh with the microphone. But all they do is scream and run from him and scream and run because he's just, oh, he's just a big lurking horrible beast. Right. But you know, he still wants to make you laugh. Sometimes when he's doing, he kills you with his bare hands. Absolutely. And let's not forget to thank the animals. You're right. Okay, everyone. Thank you so much for

listening. We hope you're doing well out there. We'll be back. By the way, I know everyone knows it's episode 500 this week for LPOTL. It is. We can't wait. It's going to be very fun. It's going to be thick. I'm very excited. And we got Marcus in LA. Yes. So that means the studio is at a solid 77 degrees. It'll be nice and hot for him because he's got thin, thin skin. But I told him when we're in the studio, we're keeping it bare temperature. He can wear a jacket. I agree with that. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening. Inhale yourselves. Bye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to,

go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.