Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Fly the Too-Friendly Skies

Episode Date: November 4, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime stores: a plane masturbator, a violent dispute over a sex toy, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

Hey, what's up, everyone? How you doing? Ben Kissel here with Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, it's me, man. Yeah, bro. Henry Zabrowski is smoking some of that sweet last podcast of the last day. Go out there and purchase yourself some. I hope you enjoy it. We have sativa, we have indica, and we have a hybrid, and I have to tell you, for my personal experience, they are wonderful. Super tasty, live resin. You really get the delicious, weedy taste, which is what I like, and three different experiences. You go to your local vape store and get it. Absolutely. Thank y'all so much for supporting the show.

We absolutely love you. Can't wait to see you on the road and get that vape, put it in your brain, and have a good time. And if you want to set your favorite weed store, give them a call and ask for them by name. Last podcast on the left, it's weed. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. Roast as dark as the night. Perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge. Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, we bring you Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans. Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last stop on the left. Side stories. Love your glades. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Is it sad? Today is a sad day, isn't it, though? Today is... I do want to say that, though. I do want to say that because it's important. Yeah, of course. It's November 1st. It's the saddest day of the year. This is by far... This is like a national, for me, a fun hangover day, where the fun is now over. We've had our fun. We talked to the spirits last night.

We did have fun, too, man. We had so much fun and it was so good to have. We had a Halloween party. Natalie did an aerial show in the air, which was insane. A whole aerial show. Amazing. A whole bunch of people did a fantastic job. So if you're listening, thank you. You guys all were so great. It's pretty crazy. I went and saw Danny Elfman sing the Nightmare Before Christmas last night. He's jacked. I also didn't know that he's live and hairless, and he's fully tattooed. The whole body is tattooed. I did not know that. It's really intense. But then we saw he was with We at Al and Billie Eilish, the child.

Billie Eilish is a child. I have a hard time cheering for a child. I love Billie Eilish. But she's very talented. She did good. She sang it, Sally. It was really good. But today is the day that the fun is over and we slide into the grey worst time of the year when it's the holiday season. You know what? I think you're even making it slightly better than it could be because it's also election season. It's November. I'm sorry. I don't want to start the show so constantly. I'm going to have to pull the trigger. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben, hanging out with Henry. We hope you had a wonderful Halloween. You fucking better have. We really did. You had every opportunity, too. You know what I mean?

Well, I hope that you did have every opportunity, too. And you need to squeeze out the rag of fun. It's important. You soak it up, fill with fun juice, squeeze it into your fucking cup, and then you slurp it down and then you fucking get into November and you deal with it. Well, that's a heck of a way to get into a coma because who knows what else that rag has picked up. So hope everyone had a fantastic time. We did so well. We had some people over. I was dressed as Big Garfield, Henry dressed as Spider-Man, and so did Marcus. Isn't that nice? Also, there will be some pushback, obviously, because if you are, I mean, I'm not going to say this. You're obviously a politician at your very core, which means on some level you are inherently a flip-flopper.

You'll say whatever you need to say in front of whatever group you're in front of so they don't hang you. They don't do a group hanging. And you used to be Pro Heathcliff in his working man status. I'm still Pro Heathcliff just because I dress as Garfield almost in a mockering way towards Garfield. Perhaps I respect Heathcliff a little bit too much to bastardize his look for a party, for a dress-up party. Also, we know for a fact that there is no general Heathcliff costume that has been created yet. You went and you did. You did a good job. You got a good costume. You went on the internet. You went like, big man costume time. They must have given you a bunch of options. One was Garfield. Absolutely. And of course, we did have a great time.

We should bring back. I feel like now you have the Garfield costume. We can spray paint it. I'll spray paint it. And make you look like a cross-punk Heathcliff, because that's the real vibe of Heathcliff. Get some jingle berries in there. I think that's great. He's been cut away from his fucking family. He probably has a drug problem. You know, Heathcliff definitely is the only cat who smokes cigarettes. That's why he's cool. And he loves fish skeletons. Oh yeah, these cars. That's great.

He's like an Anthony Sabato Jr., remember? Antonio Sabato Jr., remember him? I was able to, absolutely. Of course, I do every day, I think of him. I was able to take a couple of mushroom caps as well. And I'll tell you one thing at one point in the night, I was like, I think we are comedic geniuses. And then in the car ride home, I realized we're not comedic geniuses, because you can't be one until you're dead, because isn't death the ultimate joke? Wow. All right, let's move on here, everybody.

I feel like it's cold, shudder up my spine. I just felt like a ghost walked through the room. It was a ghost, but it was you and I at 80 years old still tethered together. And it was him being like, turn back, turn back. All right, well, speaking of lies and myths, and no, I am not turning my back on Heathcliff, I love Heathcliff, I love his people. His life is not my costume, okay? Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Was it my culture, is that your costume? Something like that. Same thing for Heathcliff. We'll start off, we have a lot of silly stories today, but the one serious story, we do have one update. So we talked about what was going on in this train as there was a bunch of passengers, there was a sexual assault that took place for 40 minutes, and the cops initial report was everyone filmed it, but they didn't call us, so that's why we were so late. Oh, yeah, sure. I don't even know why we thought that that was real.

I don't even know why I thought that that could possibly totally be real. Of course they called the cops, of course they did, and of course the cops comfort their ass, because if not, they were going to show that they didn't care about a massive group rape that happened on a train. It seems as if some people were filming, some people did call, however, the cops did say that as kind of a get out of free jail card for themselves, saying that nobody called them in, even though they did, so just clarifying that story as we covered that a couple of weeks ago, and do we have any other update? The other update was, we talked a little bit about the family that went hiking,

that died altogether. Now this was, I believe it was Death's Gulch, Death's Gulch, Devil's Gulch. It was on August 17th that they were found, they were missing for two days and they were found, and if you remember, it was Ellen Chung, John Garrish, their one-year-old daughter, Miju, and their family dog, Oskie, right? They were all found dead, and they were wondering whether or not it was some form of toxic algae, maybe it was in the water, maybe something happened, some weird, people were saying crazy theories, like lightning hit the lake where the algae was and a weaponized it and then they fainted and they died,

but they all died within minutes of each other. And now the evidence, quote-unquote, the actual research came back from, they did the autopsies and all of the various toxicology reports, and the reason now that they're saying that they died was hyperthermia. So they were hot. They got too hot and dehydration. And I'm just going to go out there and I'm going to put my conspiracy cap on. Well, we cannot put our camping shoes on because we know nothing about the outdoors.

Absolutely not. We will asterisks everything that's about to be said with, we mostly hang out in air conditioned places with water fountains. That's where I think best. That's where I'm most clearheaded. I don't know how that's fucking possible. And there are people still saying that they don't know how that's possible because they were experienced hikers. It wasn't that hot in the valley.

I think they said, well, maybe that's incorrect, but it got to like 100 degrees, which can happen, right? You can get really hot, obviously, but they had already been doing it for so long. And I'm like, I've just never heard of maybe anybody dying of hyperthermia at 100 degrees, but it's the whole family that died, including the dog. They're saying the dog also died because of that. And I think something else going on.

I don't know what the hell it is. I don't know whether or not it's some form of mysterious. Where's Bob Dole? I blame the government. Bob Dole is sitting somewhere. Honestly, he better be carving a fucking gravestone because he should be thanking his lucky stars. He's still alive. I don't know how he's still alive, but these guys, this whole family,

I just, it's fishy. It's fishy to me, buddy. I don't know why it's so fishy to me. I don't like it. And also, I called Brian Laundry committing suicide. What do you want? What kind of award would you like? You called it along with thousands of millions of other people.

Money from the government. I want the government to send me money for being the best detective that's ever farted while working. And that's me, man. I'm sitting here. I'm actively farting and thinking. Well, to that point, not the actively farting or anything like that, actually, more to the former point, it is always strange when these mysteries occur, a family, including a dog.

And for some reason, the dog thing sticks with me because it's weird. They tend to stay alive and they're like, bark, bark, bark. Yeah, bark, bark, bark. I'm sorry. But even the dog got got by whatever the hell that was. So we'll keep you updated too. If there's more, if there's anything else, if there's some rationale for it,

we would love to know. Whatever. Yeah, please. Explain to me if you're a scientist, you know exactly what the hell you're talking about. Side Story's LPOTL at gmail.com. I will listen. I will try to live.

I will try to learn. But it does seem highly, highly fishy. And it's just kind of out of left field. I don't know how the dog also died. And then they were experienced campers. And so at first they were all like, all of the articles were kind of emphasizing like how normal this is and why it's so mysterious that they died. But now that the hyperenthermia fucking reason came out or I'm going to go ahead and say

theory. Who knows? This is probably real. There's probably real evidence saying why that is. But they are now saying this mysterious hiking trail. Oh, you'd be surprised just how mysterious a hiking trail can be. And you're like, it's a trail. It's not like it's in the middle of fucking nowhere.

This isn't the descent. Goblins. Goblins. You never know where they are. You never know when a family decides to go to the other side together, which is also possible. It's all like agreed to be like, all right, you ready to let go? Yes.

I mean, sadly, that has happened before. Also, they should change the Washington football team to the Washington goblins. Oh, that would be nice. There's a lot of names. I have a feeling that this fucking we're not going to stick on it. But the Washington football team, the more it's just called the Washington football team, the more normalized. And then they were just like, I guess we don't have to come up with a name because apparently

the name that isn't absolutely horrendous. Okay. How are you possibly selling merch for something called the Washington football? Washington airplanes. Airplanes are technically the villains of 9-11. Because if you really, it's like when people say people don't kill people, guns kill people. You know, the opposite or guns don't kill people. The other name was Washington bullets.

And they had to change that to the wizards. That makes sense. Which also wizards kill people. But anyway. Dumb times. So will they, you know, for their own gain? Let's hop in the car and go to Corbin, Kentucky. Shall we?

Oh, no. The holidays were difficult for everyone. No, I don't want to. I don't want to go to Corbin. We're already there. So we've actually just arrived in Corbin. You got your big gulps. We had a lot of fun on the road.

Remember that? We listened to all that Steely Dan. Yeah, I do. Actually, that was really fun. Reeling back the years is really fun. If you lend a sex toy to somebody, make sure you give it back because they're going to want it back. Give it back promptly and boil it.

Boil it. Do whatever it takes to get all of your common pubic hair off of it. So there's this woman in Corbin and she's facing a bunch of charges, including second-degree assault. She stabbed her cousin because the cousin borrowed her sex toy and then evidently it didn't give it back. And you know what? Again, it's beyond disgusting that this is between two cousins.

Oh, yeah. You can swap a lot of stuff with a cousin. Yeah. Maybe even a car. Maybe your cousin's car break down. Use my car. Sure. But they used the sex toy.

They kept saying the term sex toy. Dildo. But is it a dildo because there are other sex toys besides the dildo? Is it something that goes internal? Is it a bob block? Like it's something that goes internal and that's why this woman had such a deep affection for it. She also kind of cucked out her sex toy.

Maybe she watched her cousin use her sex toy and was like, yeah, that's Big Bob. Yeah, you got to use Big Bob right. Who knows what happened? Either way, the officer was dispatched to Mitchell Hill Road this past Saturday afternoon, which is when we were all having a great party at Henry's house. So isn't that fun? Different people. Different times.

Different areas. Different realities. Different areas. Different realities. We keep saying that. Different people. Different times. Different areas.

Different realities. That's the new title of the show. Crystal Denham. She stated she stabbed her cousin Michelle Barton, not the actress. Oh, they are both. This is kind of funny because for some reason I thought a man borrowed it or someone else borrowed it. But no, it was two women.

I believe it was two women, unless it's Michael Barton. I wonder if they did. They signed it up. I guess it kind of should be like, you should try this fucking dildo and really fucking wrecks my clit cousin Melinda. Mr. Zabrowski, you are correct. Denham told the officer Barton came to her home and they got into the argument over the sex toy.

She had borrowed it and he said he wanted it back. Okay. He might have used it on other women, right? The idea that like he has his own toys in the house and then you know, every once in a while you rent one out to your cousin. I suppose that's possible. The citation says she told him to get off of her property and then he grabbed her by the elbow and then at that point she used a kitchen knife and then she stabbed him in

the hand. I don't think this is about the dildo. Well it's. You know what I mean? This is about the thought. This is about the thought event. Yeah. This is about disrespect.

I guess it is more about disrespect. Apparently she was under arrest and she started to yell that she wasn't going to go to jail and then the officer did tase her. So she formed a fist with each hand, bladed her body in a fighting stance, swelled her chest and began approaching the officer and that's when she was placed under arrest. So apparently this is a thing that cousins do. I don't know what the. I guess.

I've never done it with my cousins. Well why would she want to use her female male's cousin's dildo as some kind of sex device? It might have been especially a good one or maybe it was like a new expensive one. Maybe they actually had purchased it for him for Christmas with the intention of it being for the family as a whole. Like a family dildo. Kind of like a timeshare.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a timeshare where it's like, well, Bobby's got it this week and he's going to town on that woman that only goes by the name of Zebra. He's going on her all weekend and then so then I could pick it up for my birthday next weekend because I'm turning 40 and I'm going to want, but yeah, I definitely want the war donger 40,000 for it to plummet inside of me. I'm looking to not walk again. I'm 40.

I'm trying not to walk out on what I'm the day after. So if you want to walk with a bowed leg so people know you've been around. Yes. I also remember there was a time during we were doing a sketch show in Tallahassee for me. We all shared dildos with each other for sexual reasons. I've never heard one of my friends come and I'm really happy that I've never heard someone. I've never heard any one of you ejaculate once.

I've heard Holden do it, but I've never, but you didn't hear him. No, I didn't. It was in the room. It was with the woman. Oh yeah. I remember that. Yeah. I remember.

I know this story. But this is. Yeah. I guess it's better than being chilling and silent. I gave his beautiful daughter a little onesie at the wedding. Speaking of. I'm sorry at the Halloween party and she's so cute and precious and like literally just like all light in the world is these little baby's bodies.

And then he said that he and Lexi made white Russians with the breast milk and then. Yeah, buddy. Yeah. That's what he does. That's his life for them. That says, yeah, it's really sad what's happening over there and she's going to just going to kill everyone. His daughter is going to be a super villain because.

We hope so. I hope so. Me too. One of the stories that I remember we borrowed, we needed a dildo for a sketch, right? So we had our neighbor that when I lived with Ed Larson, there was a woman that was very experienced who is a friend of ours that she was a wild person. I still remember the thing that she said to us one night, I've ran from all places than you've ever been to, which is really very scary.

Well, it's interesting. But we needed a dildo quickly for a sketch and we knocked on her door because we kind of assumed, oh, she'd have a dildo and she's like, oh, yeah, and she went underneath her bed. She had a whole box of them, a big shoe box, all these different dildos. So we borrowed a bunch of them. And then I remember another member of Murder Fist and I'm not going to name them so to protect them because they now also have a family and they saw all these dildos and they

didn't know where they came from. Sure. And we were rehearsing and that member, I remember like we were rehearsing and I just heard like, hey guys, look at this, hey guys. And he was like deep throat and one of her dildos, right? I was like, I'm like it. But you guys, I'm sure you guys being so mature and, you know, capable, I'm sure you guys washed the dildos before you.

No. You didn't. Okay. Absolutely not. They were well inside that woman. Great. They were well inside her for at any periods of time and I bet you she didn't wash them either necessarily because we're so young.

You don't know. No, you don't know. You don't find out until you grow. That's fucking sunny and share. That's what that song is about. Oh, all right. And so they had it go and so, yeah, but I'm throat and throat and throat and throat and throat and all.

That's great. All right. And then how did the sketch go? We never told them. Awful. Great. This fucking college gets comedy. Okay.

Fantastic. Well, we have a lot of other crazy stories to get to. You don't know. What did you dress up as? What did you dress up as for Halloween? Email us. Side stories. LPOTL.

It's just perfect. This is real radio. All right. I want to, I want to dissect this story because do you get, I don't understand it. I do think people get specifically plain horny, like they get on a plane and it gets super horny. Well, I think they might get a little inevrated at the airport bar. And then once you're on the plane, you do feel a little bit out of control, but the

one thing you always have control over your boner, your boner and your genitalia. So maybe maybe there is something to plain hornyness, but this guy, I think he had too much control. This is a man named Robert Earl Glasper, and I'm glad that we all know his name. He's 26 years old. So the full, they gave him the full, I assassinated the president, three name, three name, Robert, his full name is Robert Earl, Glasper the third. They put the whole thing in there just so you know, cause you know why it's cause his

father was like, don't you fuck any, you make sure you put the fucking third in there. Okay. Cause it's not me. It's not me. I have a job. So he was arrested. Yeah. He was on his flight from, after his flight from Sacramento to touch down at Denver international.

This was last night, right? As Glasper and the male passenger, he was sitting next to him. They were put on, they were put on their seatbelts. The young man, he apparently reached out with his hand and he gave the left side of the man next to him, his buttocks. He gave it a squeeze. A squeeze. And this is on the plane.

This is on the plane. Now Glasper kept touching his neighbors' hands and legs, right? I'm obviously, this is assault. So none of this is funny. But he also, he just kept saying, yes, of course, but he kept going over like, so the guy, he's like touching his hands or anything. But I bet you at first you go like, oh, sorry, I mean, touch you, but then you do another one and go like, give a little sidelong glance or like, no, no, no.

How about now? And you keep going like, please don't fucking touch me, sir. Don't touch me. And he's like, it's a mistake. It's a mistake. And then he leans over and goes, hey, how about you jerk me off? How about you jerk me off? And so he asks, will you jerk me off on the plane?

Now, first of all, you gotta kind of give him, I will give him at least a silver, a silver medal for bravery. You know what I mean? Just because he did float it. But again, this is sexual assault. So it's not bravery. Well, the problem here is, you know, usually when I'm walking down the aisle of a plane, I see people's faces and their eyes illuminate and they get wider.

As if Garfield looking at Lasagna and they're like, please don't sit behind me. Please don't. And no one fully understands the shame of being unwittingly unwanted by everybody. And I get it. I don't need math. It's just there's not as much space. I get that. I'm taking up more space just biologically.

But my God, man, in this case, I just feel like I may have been the one man to sit by this person and stop him from grabbing and groping. I think I may have scared him enough. You could have. Or perhaps he would have loved it. I mean, I don't know because also, like, I guess in real life, wouldn't you want to, oh, yeah, and he has got to, he definitely kind of has the face for it, doesn't he? Oh, yeah.

I'm looking at this picture right now. He looks sort of like, ooh, Alfred E. Newman, which is exactly what you think, right? Like, is exactly what you think. He looks like a troublesome older orphan that doesn't know why he does what he does. But yeah, so he got to obviously erect. And this is also what I find interesting. So he got erect and he kept going like, hey, hey, hey, look at this to the pastor, right? Hey, look, look how hard I am.

Sure. And the guy has just been like, because also I imagine I've also been on flights with this. You go like, please, sir, because you know, if you tell the inflight attendant, also this flight's going down, right? We're going to have to do an emergency landing. You're not going to get where you need to go. So you're also sort of held hostage too, right?

And so another witness who I imagine is sitting behind them is watching this guy get hard and he's starting to fucking play with himself, right? And then he starts to go and he starts jerking himself off, right? And they're watching him. He's watching him go as he's jerking off, jerking off, he's like, hey, see what I'm doing. And then when he came into his own hands, he then wiped it all over his own pants, right? Oh, okay.

According to one fellow traveler that was seated across from the aisle from these two men, oh, they say that they saw a glasper the third, masturbate and wipe his hands on the seat. And then he's been so much closer. And the guy got up on your own. Yeah. At this point, I get up at this point, I get up and I do, I walk, I, I scream, I, I do. But you have to save it before you until you land. Because if you don't, because it's not like he's grabbing your, if he was grabbing your

cheek and balls, I'd freak out. Right? He was grabbing his thighs and grabbing. And then he was just like, Hey, jerk me off, but then he started jerking off. And then no, it's just, you know, it's not good. It's not good. But if you tell the flight attendant, you're going to, they're going to land the plane. You're not going to get there.

This was done with his mask on. So he had enough, he had enough like frame of reference to be like, I better wear my mask. Otherwise it's possible. It's, it's, you know. I'm only framing this. I'm also laughing about this because obviously it's, I have to, I do not, I also respond to it.

There's no other way to do it. I mean, it's just absolutely disturbing and disgusting. So the guy just starts jerking off next to the other guy. And my question is, how do you, first of all, how many free Delta points do you get when the person, you better get a fucking flight to Hawaii? You are giving me some points. Cause also you're going to like, I took one for the team, other than that guy fucking masturbate next to me.

So all of us could land this plane in Denver. We all had a place to fucking go. We obviously have to go straight to work as soon as we all land. So I'm trying to get us here, right? And so a witness asked the guy, he was like, they were like, when the, when the masturbating dude got up to go, I'm going to just say his name again, Glasberg victim asked guys, like, are you okay? And he's like, I don't think so.

That was his response. I don't think so either. I'm with him. I don't know. I'm actually going to need to process this. I need to, I'm going to have to talk to my family. I just need to, I need to call up my buddies and we, I need to, he needs to both laugh a little bit about it.

Oh, of course. He also needs to like digest it. Go to therapy. So yes. He just goes to talk about it in therapy and figure out how you feel about this thing. Cause it was Glasberg. Oh yeah, dude, cause when they landed, you know, he arrested him and his whole thing is, I was just fucking, I thought it was consensual.

It was, he thought it was consensual, which I don't, whatever. That's garbage. That's absolute garbage. It is not real. They said he stared for long periods of time without answering questions. And then quote unquote, his words were difficult to understand. He must have been blackout hammer. I bet you he was blackout hammer.

Well, there was one guy. I'm not saying that that's not an excuse, obviously, but it's like, he definitely, there was one fellow on, I believe it was Mr. Morningstar's flight that this dude, as the plane landed, he was so lit. He smoked a J in the bathroom on the tarmac. And then the flight was fucking delayed because you get arrested by the FBI. Like they don't just be hammered, but get, this is the fine line of being hammered, right? So you want to start.

Okay. You have one or two. Okay. That's cool. But then if you're going to get into like fun bubbly drunk, right? Like six or seven, that's actually the worst place for you to be on a plane. You need to get like sleepy drunk, early drunk, but there is no party drunk. That's how you end up with the plane ride from hell.

Ask any WWE wrestler who was there. So this guy, he was just too functioning to be this hammered on a plane. And it was the worst of all worlds. So bad. And then they asked him, what do you do in a Denver and Glasper's like, I'm her to visit my grand. He was here to visit his grandfather. So he's fucking grandfather.

Oh, God, he's got so worked up, right? Glasper the first. Glasper the first. Glasper the third is coming. And he says, oh, what happened? Why won't you be here? Glasper the third. You were jerking off with the, with the Glasper name.

Oh, me to tell me you're going to miss the great Glasper family group jerk off because you pre-jucked off on the plane. You're supposed to save it for dinner. He did not do a good job. He didn't do good. He's facing federal charges. Be very careful what happens on the planes. You really do have to be on your best behavior because that guy had nothing to do with it.

And it's done. But what are you talking about? So you're saying that this is just below best behavior. You just need to have, you just need to sit into a chair and go from one place to another. If you want to scream at somebody, how many times I've been mad at an airport, how many times you kind of wonder, are we about to get into a physical altercation. But when it comes down to it, I, and I need this plane to go from this place to another place.

I wouldn't be here optionally. I'm not here at the airport because, oh, maybe I'll catch a plane today. No, I, I got to go some place. And so you got to do what you can, just get on the plane and have the plane land. That's all we all have. Can we agree? That's all we have to do. Bill Mosley posted a fucking picture today where his plane had to get grounded.

Shut up. Fucking two guys were fighting on the plane to again and others, people are being, people are really, really intense. I almost got into a physical altercation last night, leaving the parking lot. Did you really? From when we went to go. Yes. We went to go see the Danny Elfman show.

I almost got into a fight because a guy cut us off coming at the thing. And then he saw me physically react in the car like you saw me basically go, what the fuck? I'm excited. My hands go like this. And then he rolled his window down and he started laughing and smiling at me. And then I gave him the two double fingers right being like, I'm going to, of course Natalie's now, Natalie's now starting to get upset.

And then he was going to get out of the car and then I'm just been like, fuck you, buddy. Fuck you. Like it was really intense. Okay. And I was smashed his head against the fucking hood of his car, man, over a parking spot. Sure. Yeah. But I also understood.

You know, it's always possible. It could go the other way too. It's good to go home. And also, yeah, I could got hurt. Yeah. Yeah. But you don't know. I don't know.

I don't know what I'd be like. I got into some heat. I've been into some heated debates this past little go around to traveling as well, but you know what? It's good to be back with people in it. It really is. It really is. It's an inspiration.

Five from your grave. Well, if you guys heard about this story, we know a lot about TikTok solely, again, through the four mentioned Travis Morningstar, but there's this dude, Jin Kid. This story is sad, man. Don't even try to describe who you think this person is. I don't. I don't want to describe who this man is. What is it called?

J-I-N-N. What's his name? Kid. Jin Kid. Is it J-I-N-N? J-I-N-N-K-I-D. He's been arrested. It's this film director.

That is not what you are. What is this? No. He's arrested for murdering his wife and her friend. That guy, does that get you big numbers? I don't know. Is that what these kids are doing on there? You're killing their families?

He's a 29-year-old going by the online name Jin Kid. He could be considered fairly successful, but apparently his whole thing, he has a series called Skyrim in Real Life, which he enacted out how Skyrim, typically NPC behaviors, would look if they happened in real life. Now he's a fucking murderer? Yeah, exactly. He tracks. I don't know why.

They're allowed to be creative on there, as long as they're not killing their wives. They can be as creative as they want, but yeah, I'm looking at it right now. It's like NPCs walking around, oh yeah, I've seen this guy. Is that right? Oh, he killed his wife, huh? Yeah, Jin Kid did. He had moved out of the apartment they shared with his wife, Anna, and the October ATD checked into the boat.

Yes, this is a viral video. Is that right? Yes, I've seen this. Yeah, this was a very famous video. He did a couple of these, and these are all, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're watching the footage? I guess you could see the rage in there. You're watching the comedic talents of a murderer, isn't that strange?

It is weird, because that's the one thing I think we'll see also as time pans out. Oh yeah. You couldn't see, because now what Timothy Shamilema Dingdong was just, they just found his old YouTube account, because he was trying to be a YouTuber for a period of time before he became an ultra-elite actor. But he's just trying to hide that because he's embarrassed by it. The fact that how many of these people are going to commit crimes that are definitely searching to get viral, like, because I think that that Venn diagram really works, like

homicidal impulses mixed with desperate to make it on the internet. Well, I think that the TikTok viral success. It's the scratcher of the entertainment world, right? The scratch off. Well, you don't get paid for it. You can get zero to a hundred million. Well, and I'm saying, when it comes to exposure, it really is like you scratch the right numbers and you're like, whoa, right to the top.

Yeah. It's the easy way out in some ways. However, of course, difficult to get them up all the noise. But as Henry said, there ain't a lot of money in it, so be careful who you're giving your talents away to for free. Okay. So this dude was staying in a hotel for a couple of days. At which point, he went to the apartment of his estranged wife and then he trashed it

because he's a little frickin bitch. Yeah, he's a little bitch. Yeah. He then installed an app on his five year old's daughter's iPad that would allow him to listen to the activities at home. Why do you even have this? I don't fucking know. What purpose?

Is it like a baby monitor app? I have no idea. It can be used for horrible things no matter what they named it. I make hard systems in my home. Like literally the idea is that I try to make sure that anything that it would be recording or anything is not connected to the internet. I feel like if you're going to have a baby monitor, even though people do, and you remember that hacker that intercepted the baby monitor thing, was talking at the baby, you can hack

them. But the goal for me would be to keep it off the internet if it's something that you need to focus. If it's supposed to be a security measure for your black children. Yeah, absolutely. So this five year old, she was inadvertently wiretapped by her father. Wow. Yeah.

It's actually weird to even think about like that. That's true. That's so weird. She literally was wild. She was like a little like when they used to put a microphone in the plant to listen to the mafia. It's just child. What does that mean?

A few hours later after leaving, this dude, Jin kid, he came back with a loaded gun. And that's where he shot Anna in the forehead and her friend Rayburn Barron in the neck and cheek and back of the head. And neither of them survived. Oh my God. Wow. And then the saddest thing ever. After the shooting, he picked up his daughter from school and told her that he, quote, hurt

mommy. Oh, this guy is fucking disgusting. I hate this guy. He also called his mother to confess. Of course. And then while driving his daughter. Because he loves attention. He's just desperate for any of it.

So it's like it really does. But he knew his mom was like, oh, it's okay, honey. Like he probably wanted like the comfort of his mom. He called the place he was driving with his daughter and he called the place to confess his crimes and was arrested 45 minutes later on state route, state route 15. Even though he had not confessed a security camera captured him running from an elevator to Anna's apartment. Anyway, there's a bunch of evidence and they're going to think he's such a loser in jail.

Yeah. The truth is he was also accused of domestic violence and and she was trying to divorce him and this guy is a sociopathic fucking complete and utter maniac. Yep. And he is. Yeah. He's utter garbage and honestly, it's probably best that he's in jail. But then maybe he can still do tick tock from there.

Can you? I mean, I don't know. I do see videos from prison, but I have a feeling people smuggle in phones all the time. Yeah. And you are that is getting a phone up your keyster. Well you buy it from the fucking guards half the time. I know that's like that is I know that's the very controversial. You even say like the idea, but yeah, that's what people get it from.

They get it from guards. They people that they do side hustles because it comes down to that's how you get drugs on the inside. Like someone comes to you buy it from a guard or something like that, but they go they could say how you get it or somebody boofs it and brings it to you while you're fucking when you get a visit. And that's got to be fun. If you do booth it, you got to do the side shuffle to get that up in there.

How big? Hmm. This is my question though, is that your asshole can be elastic depending on what you do for it. Yeah. You can put it. I imagine something soft like weed. Like you could fit like an eighth of weed up your ass like pretty easily.

Yeah. Sure. You can fit anything up there as long as you work hard. It stays in there. Well, that's the problem because you got to be able to do the cough and all that stuff, which apparently is not that difficult. I guess you can gut it kind of. I guess so.

Yeah. Yeah. I've never I can't even imagine it. I just remember the one time that Eddie wrapped his balls with a hair dryer hair tie in order to hide weed and we went to go in to see Bruce Springsteen and he put it like up near his taint with like the but the but it was protected by plastic. But he did wrap it around his balls and it sounded like it was really like very uncomfortable. Well, and you guys all smoked that together.

Yes. So you you smoked his ball weed. It was on the plastic. It didn't get to the Nug and then you burn it anyway and then the ball goes away. The ball like essence goes away. Oh, all right. Well, the only other story that I really got is from Wisconsin. There was this dude who was charged with OWI, which is operating well intoxicated.

What does that even mean? Like in terms of like is that different than a DUI? Oh, yeah. So that's like the same. It's like there's a lot of things you can ride, you know, you don't even realize it. You can probably get it like an OWI and one of those like fake little horses outside of a pharmacy. You got to put a quarter into ride.

You know, they'll give you an OWI for anything. Do you remember number one when Bill Murray got arrested for driving his golf cart around and hammered? Yeah. It's classic. It's classic. So it's almost it's almost ice fishing season in Wisconsin, but this one dude, he got a head start on it and he was really frickin hammered and he was like, oh, it froze a couple of

nights in a row. I think it's time for me to get my ice shack on the water. But then he tried to do it, but then he was so frickin hammered, he didn't realize the water was still water and it wasn't frozen water and then he just drove his truck into the lake. The movie and the story. That's it. That's the whole thing.

That's such. I was that is a very, very Wisconsin death. Just like you're so hammered, we got to start that fish at now and they're like, man, it's not even like it's not hot. It's still hot. It is. We're not ready. It's literally just water that he just drove into the police.

This ice is really moving around. I got to find a more solid part of the ice and just like slides straight into the fucking bottom of the ocean and then Baron County, they put them on his Twitter. They really roasted this guy because it's just his truck and the fishing shanty in the water. They say, we want everyone to, we want everyone to know that a driver was okay and unhurt. Alcohol was a contributing factor to this case and we take these very seriously, make a plan, especially for Halloween. You have a designated driver.

It's true. That's right. That's so sad. Honestly, it just should just be like, you know, when the legs ice, when you touch it and it's ice, when it's not water anymore, like it can't be that difficult to tell that the lake is not iced over. Also the cops are like, oh, get a DUI, get a designated driver. You know what I'm saying?

But like in this case, you can't like Uber and be like, can you take my ice shanty to the middle of the lake? You got to do this on your own. The Uber driver also has to be drunk. But also when it comes down to like, this is a drunk decision. This wouldn't happen unless you were smoking, unless you were drinking all night. You guys with your buddies hammered all night being like, we got to put the shack out. We got to get the shack out.

We got to put it out right now. It's like, there you are. That's a very hammered determination. Because you know, he was just so excited for ice fishing because you get to go. I did it one time and it's cold. It's cold. It's cold. But it was fun.

You know, you catch a, I caught one and then you catch it and the fish is called cold and stuff. No, that's too cold. I can't do any of that shit. No one seemed happy. The fishes didn't seem happy. I think it was more of like a suicide trip for them. I think he knew he was about to die.

He kind of liked it. I want to quickly cover this other story. This is real. This is just goes back to the hiker thing. I'm just going to say the headline and you know exactly what it is. A lost Colorado hiker. He was gone for 24 hours. That was true.

He went. He was missing all day. And then he somehow like he did make his way back, but he ignored all the calls from the rescue teams because he didn't recognize the number. Oh my God, dude, please God in this one time, one time just answer your phone. I still give it the bed of a doubt. Like I now know that there is a robot calls. I'm just getting blasted with so many.

And so I, but I still pick it up because I want to at least kind of hear what it is depending on what it was every once in a while, when it's a new one, I pick it up and then I hear what their spiel is. And also the key is never say yes. If they ever say, Hey, are you Mr. So and so never say yes. Always say who's calling because they can fucking lift the audio. This is true. They can lift the audio of you agreeing and they can charge you shit.

This is not boomer thought is the most real. And if you copy and paste this on Facebook and tell them all of my content is my content that is, that is, you know, we will have to see, we will have to see Mr. Zabrowski about that. But I also like to do it because I answer logo, hello. And then they give me like, this is a boomer, this is a boomer for you. Who's cold? No, no, Mr. No, Mr. Heave, no, Mr. And then they keep calling.

Sure. I get to be a different guy each time I get to run characters at them. That's a good, that's a good way to practice. No, Mr. That's my, that's my scared refugee woman. Yes. So if you are lost, don't call the authorities, please. Yeah. Well, they sound not honestly, you sound like somebody that they prey upon.

So they'll probably call you like a thousand times a day. Yeah. So yeah, if you are in the woods and you're lost, just answer the phone no matter what, because maybe even maybe even AT&T can help you. A telemarketer can fucking help you. If you're stuck and you don't know where you are, call whoever you are, because it's the opposite of all horror movie problems, speaking of the descent, like the idea that like you go to a place where specifically your phone's on work.

Also I recently rewatched the descent. We did a light version of 31 for 31 because we knew we were not going to be able to do it. But I always watch a horror movie every night. We ended up working our way through Halloween 3, 4, 5, 6, Halloween H2O and both the, both of the Rob Zombie Halloween and Halloween 2018. I also saw Halloween kills, but of course, but you can, we watched the descent as one of them.

Man, oh man. First 10 minutes of the descent, you're all like, fuck this shit. Who would ever do this? I'm never going in the cave. People spulunk, bro. Stupid people. I mean, I know some of you spulunk, but wherever. That's dumb.

You say on top of the land. I have a fear of heights. I have a fear of claustrophobia. I have a love of buffets. Me too. I love a heated car seat. That's one of my favorite. I'm not afraid of those.

I have found myself in the salad section of a, of a, you know, one of those. What do you call those golden corrals? And I'm like, I'm out of my element. What is going on here? And you get scared and you have to go towards the red lamp. I love a buffet, man. And honestly, that was the best part about the, when we went to that buffet was just like it was just nice to see the buffets are back, but they're not really back.

What do you mean? So they're back in Vegas. I agree with that. They're not back in Vegas. That Bellagio, that Bellagio buffet. Oh, you go, you got the seafood section. That's fantastic. That's where you make the money back.

You got the steak area over there. That's what you really blow it out. Last time I went to the Bellagio buffet, they had the whole sushi area and they're rolling it themselves right there. And you're like, oh, look at the, look at the, the detail. It's happening. Oh, what? Yeah.

We've got to do it soon. We've got to do it soon. I can't. We got to go back. Absolutely. All right, everyone. Well, let's do hero of the week. Yeah.

So this week's hero of the week, his name is Joseph Rose. He's a handsome young man. He is the founder of this thing called Satanic Delco and they do this program and it is called to hell with homelessness, but not in the way where they're like burning them alive. That would be different. It could also go either way. It's actually a nice charity that they're working on. Members of the Satanic Delco were distributing tote bags of food, water and hygiene essentials

for the people in need in the 69th Street Transportation Center in Upper Darby. The name of the campaign again is to hell with homelessness. That's really important. And I honestly, because we, you know, Natalie and I, we've done a lot of like various charity things and I always love doing it from the Satanic perspective because then like you got all these people up in arms and really diametrically opposes you to all of the Christian elements that do just horrible things all the time and just control people's bodies. And they just view you as kingling, essentially like they, they, they, they dislike their

parishioners. They don't like their people. They don't want to care for them. What I love so much about this story is it shows you a little juxtaposition. So there's another dude and he's almost like a villain in this story. His name is Mike Stockwell. Now this is an evangelical preacher type who stands on the surface and screams at you. Of course.

Because they never do anything to help anybody. They want your money. That's at the end of the day. And they want to feel, they want to feel good about themselves. So they pretend as if God is speaking through them, even though it's just their psychotic little brains. Anyway, the only person God is talking to, if he is really, he's talking to the man of the bus station who's saying all the crazy shit is the only because he's the only one

whose radio is picking up the frequency. That's probably true. He was wearing a shirt that said known by God. And when all these people from this group passed by, he says, are you born again? And then he made fun of them and was like, you guys are going to hell. And this is what Stockwell said. He says, you're good deeds are filthy rags before God. You're going to hell.

Yes. Yes. And then Joseph Rose said, oh, we're just, I guess we're just willing to take the risk, I guess. Rose said of the Ridley Township who funded the Satanic Delco in February, it doesn't believe in hell or heaven or even Satan, they just believe in doing good work. Rose said, when I found the Satanic Temple a few years back and read the seven tenets, that was a wake up call.

It was so obvious to me, they basically sound like seven ways not to be an asshole. Pretty much when the TST is specifically the full atheist branch and it is more political than anything else. But it's about the idea of like taking care of yourself and taking care of other people and about an individual expression and experiencing pleasure now and not in the future, where Church of Satan obviously has more of the magic ritual involved. They like a little bit more showmanship. Yeah.

The Satanic Delco, they say they don't really do the supernatural stuff. They believe in a science first viewpoint. Yes. That's TST. And they invoke Satan's name in their own Rose said because Satan is quote, symbolic of the eternal rebel. So that is awesome. Good work.

Thank you guys so much for doing what you're doing. Helping people out who are in need as you get yelled at by maniacs who are doing nothing but making themselves feel holier than that when trying to bring people down. So congratulations to those of the Satanic Delco membership and Joseph Rose, you guys are doing good work. So thank you so much. Yes. You really did.

Honestly. And today we're not going to do any letters because we did so many. Oh my God. Also, I'm sorry. I have one more note. He has two dogs and he has a little Boston Terrier named Donnie and the other ones named Walter based off the characters from the Big Lebowski. Come on.

He's crushing it. Come on. We're not going to do any listener emails today just because we've spent so many times reading all of your wonderful thoughts. But this is more of like, I thank you to everybody that submitted creepypastas, all the listener pastas. It was so much fun. So fun.

We got through another spooky season. It's I can't. I'm so sad that it's over and it happened. I feel like it went over like it happened so fast. But what that means is we go back on the road in a week. So we're going to North Carolina. We're going to. We're going to Charlottesville.

What in the fuck do you do in Charlottesville? I don't know, but we're going to have a lot of fun. I'm sure I need someone to tell me, honestly, what do we do in Charlottesville? Yeah, what do you do? Side stories. LPOTLGmail.com. Yeah. What to do?

And Charlotte. The only thing I know that Charlotte is holding McNeely's family and I'm going to go look for them. Well, have fun, sniff around the bridges. I'm going to find out what I'm going to find is eggs. Holden actually comes from one of the more well-established families of all of our friends. And I think that explains a lot, doesn't it? Yeah, really?

Everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening. Happy. Hope you guys again. Fantastic Halloween. And we'll get through the rest of this year and on to the next one. All right. Love every day you have, right?

Every day you have above the dirt because it's the only way you're going to get someone to touch your penis or your fucking vagina is you've got to be alive. Because if not when you're dead, right, someone can play with your nuts in your pussy when you're dead. Sure, absolutely. But you won't be able to love it, right? You're not going to be able to really like it because you were living it. You were alive.

Right. And you were living it. Right. Getting your dick sucked into your boobies play with and your pussy play with and your butthole play with. And that is nice when you're alive, but when you're dead, it's like a crime. And then what happens is everybody gets all mad that someone's like playing with your dick in your pussy.

Honestly, you could fucking you could blow me when I'm dead. I don't care. You can play with my body. You can play with my nipples and you can sit on my face and stuff like that. I'm going to do that with like a tour or whatever. Like Natalie said, that's when our relationship can be open is when I'm dead. And so they can get in there like you can really you can ride me like a sled then. But then when you get out of all of that, when you just think about it, you look down

from wherever you are, if there is an afterlife, you can just laugh about it because then you're going to be like, oh man, I'm getting laid now that I'm fucking dead. That's fucking sweet. Well, you'll hear us laugh about it, talking about it on the show about how you were used like you're an artist and then finally get recognition after you're dead. That's how it is. That's kind of a sad way to lose your virginity, though, after you're dead. That would really be very sad.

Yes. All right, everyone. Well, thanks for listening. Hail yourselves. Why don't you go ahead and hail Satan today, man? Give it up. He's doing charity work. Charity work.

The most elation Satan is now off. Santa Claus is tapping in before that we've got to, before we have to, we have to Thanksgiving. Whatever. Whatever we're Thanksgiving. I like the dinner. It's fine. I like being with friends. Yeah.

It's friendsgiving. Yeah. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.