Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Golden Girl

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: The "I hate Mondays" shooter, dumpster talk, freaky fan letters, and MORE.

Hey everyone, Marcus here to tell you more about our move to Spotify. This show, along with all your other LPN favorites, is going exclusive to Spotify on Valentine's Day 2020. That means you'll only be able to listen to this episode, future episodes, and our entire back catalog of shows over on Spotify starting on February 14th. Spotify accounts all man, they're free and they're easy to create. You can listen to all of our shows on Spotify right now and you can download episodes for offline listening with your free account. Everything is free. The last podcast network and all your favorite music in one place, what are you waiting for? Listen to the last podcast network free on Spotify.

Go Super Bowl. Yeah man, this is our Super Bowl edition of Side Stories. Who was in the Super Bowl? Henry, who was in the Super Bowl? I saw the Kansas City chieftains play the San Francisco 69ers. Who are you? You woke up on the wrong side of the floor today. I'll tell you that much. Yep, I did. I did. I woke up on the wet side. Indeed. I need to just get, this is my warm-up for today. I got to get warmed up today. I want to be entertaining for the people. I want them to feel good. I had a glass too many of rosé last night. Rosé? When did you start drinking rosé? Which I actually like because it's the best of both worlds. I like a rosé. I like a cold. It's chilled. Sometimes it's sour. It's refreshing. I had

nine of them. And apparently it's like, it's kind of an old lady hangover that I received today where I yelled at a waiter for no reason. From outside of a restaurant, I wasn't even in the restaurant. What did you yell? I was yelling at a waiter from outside of it saying, What did you yell? What if my food cold? Was he your waiter? No. I'm just saying, I just became an old white woman for a second, which I can't wait for that change. God knows. I can't wait for that change. But yes, but I'm feeling with it. Yeah, I saw the Super Bowl. I saw a whole bunch of it. You saw a whole bunch of it. Hey, everyone, welcome to Side Stories. I'm Ben hanging out with Henry. Now, we brought up the Super

Bowl. First of all, Shakira and JLo. I'm a man for the first time. That was the most erotic halftime show in the history of halftime shows. I have never liked the halftime show. The last time it was good. Remember when Bruce Springsteen did that fucking wall to wall, 15 minutes? He didn't even stop, dude. Bruce was up there. Oh, and little Steve, he did the lean on him. And that was when Big Clarence was alive. Oh, man. He put on a show and Prince did as well. But last Super Bowl, the halftime show was, man, I love seeing all that fucking chuch. I love seeing all that. Really? Yeah. She patted her chuch. And when she did the slide, JLo came to the slide and she literally touched her clit. And I was like, whoa, I stood up. Oh, and yes, I stood up out of

my chair. Yes, I was watching the Carmize, my favorite sports bar here in Brooklyn. And the entire place was going crazy. Everyone became a man or woman that night. Shakira and JLo brought the house down. It was a great Super Bowl overall. First half, obviously the Niners are up. Oh, Kansas City, can they come back? And for some reason, and no history, no description of the game. What I'm setting up is your failure. So all of a sudden, second half starts, right? We're still riding high. JLo, Shakira, shaking their butts. My brain is a, I feel like, you know, even if I wasn't drinking alcohol, I couldn't drive a car. My brain was that discombobulated. There's about five minutes left in the game. This is now the game is 2010. And everyone's like,

okay, this is the time for KC to come back. But Henry, for some reason, there's five minutes left of the entire NFL football season. This is when you said I need to go and beat traffic. We better get on the road early. Yeah, I don't give a fucking shit about any of these things. I watch these boys play their games. I love watching the boys play their tight games and make a bunch of money for it. I'm proud of the little boys in there. But when it comes down to it, I don't really care. And Jason Burke, a good friend of ours, he gave me a nice go home serving a banana pudding. So you ate. But so I wanted to get home with it. So we drove back like as soon as the, because I didn't care, I don't care. But then I tried to explain to Natalie, it was like,

no, I think we just missed sports history. Yeah, it was huge. It was Natalie was like, what? And I was like, yeah. Yeah. Wow. So you got banana pudding and you, you were so in love with the banana pudding, you couldn't eat it in public. Yeah, no, I consume it. Well, that's my whole thing. I do this a lot now. And I was, I was spotted the other day, someone saw me again, when I go to this grocery store, when I go out to parties, sometimes I get so hungry, I get so riled up hungry that I go to a hot bar or whatever the grocery store is. And I get a couple of drumsticks, either the barbecue chicken, whatever is in there, I get that. And I just eat it in a car or a guy eating immediately as soon as everything's up. And I did. You have a

home banana pudding. You have a home, but, but I'm hungry now. Okay. That's how I feel. So I went and it was the banana. What I did. The banana pudding is why you missed one of the greatest comebacks in Super Bowl history. It's one of the nicest bowls of banana pudding I've had in a very long time. And I, we ate it in the car as I was driving. I had it between my knees. It was disgusting. I'm not, I'm above, I'm an enthusiast. Out of all the foods that you can eat while driving, banana pudding is the worst. You're going to kill someone. You are going to get in between a Caitlyn Jenner car accident and be like, Oh, I'm sorry, officer. I was eating the pudding. Trust me, though, if I do ever get in one of those weird car accidents, I will put on a

wig and address that I keep in my in the truck in my car to come out and be like, I don't know what happened. So they can think that Henry Zuprowski is completely gone insane. I can get off on insanity. That's, that's a good, that is a good plan. Indeed. I just don't want to see you die because you got putting banana pudding between your thighs and you're driving. Yep. We're going to have to make up a lie. We're going to literally have to make up a lie. I'd be like, Yeah, it turns out Henry got into speedballs doing heroin, mixing with coke, shooting it up. Like there's no way he died driving. We'll try to eat banana pudding because that's just like not being legendary. No, he got into drugs. Yeah. Or you guys are like, you know, Henry is really deep on this thing

right now. It's called banana pudding. And you're like, Oh, what is that shit? Is that like DMT and fucking heroin mixed together? Like, nah, dude, it's vanilla wafers embedded in a luxurious melange of bananas and sometimes caramel bits for a little bit of texture. Oh, so like, he is just wild about it. The fat guy food, huh? Yeah. All right. Fattest of the fattest because you don't need to chew it. This is not a, there's just kind of a slow news of the weird week. It feels like, which you know, I guess for us, because we cover so much murder and death, I guess that's a good thing when we have a slow news week. No, it's not good for business. I mean, we have the death of democracy happening in Iowa. We'll talk about that. You know, that's kind of a bigger deal.

There's a little true crime going on over there. They fucking I hear the word caucus and my eyes fucking go inside of my skull like deeper inside of my skull. I hate I hate every minute of this. I can't wait for this fucking this cycle. I don't want to wish my year away. I'm excited about 2020. We have a lot of good things going on, but I don't want to hear about this anymore already. I know you're gone. It is. It is February. We hired a company called Shadow Inc. to make the app for whatever the fucking is they're doing. I don't even know what the caucus is. As soon as I just slam my remote control, as soon as any news comes up, I just slam it shut because I don't care because you know what my fucking election is. You know what my Super Bowl is?

What is it? The Dracula films on Netflix. Have you been watching those? Not yet. I'm watching it tonight. I'm watching it tonight. I heard the news. I've heard it's amazing. That's also going a lot of new vampire stuff out there too. The new Bliss movie. Super sexy. But a Jeremy Gardner's in the movie After Midnight with me coming out February 14th. It's a plug coming out VOD and in theaters. Come see it me and fucking in Los Angeles. Come see me live. Dude fucking Q&A afterwards. God knows what I'm gonna say, but I'm saying very good, very sexual film. This is somehow you've got to sexual film within 14 seconds of us beginning this conversation talking about Iowa caucuses. Oh, you got banana pudding coming up.

You better read it like you're the fly. They can all go fuck themselves. Why are we in Iowa? Who cares? I mean, I'm not. I love our Des Moines listeners. Des Moines a beautiful town. But how are they telling us all what to do? They should not give boomers new tech. That's the one thing we know for sure. We will talk in depth about that. And is there some conspiracy? Indeed, there is. Because Robbie Moog, the man behind Hilary's campaign, it was his buddies. It's his company with the app. The whole thing is a well, it's shrouded in mystery. But we did mention, obviously, RIP Kobe still extremely sad, even sad now knowing all the other buses in LA now have the RIP Kobe on me. But like it is a massive loss in the city. Henry is still feeling it.

Of course, man, they will for a long ass time. But Henry, you're telling me speaking of Hilary Clinton and Kobe. Evidently, I don't even know where you. She's in play. I don't know where you find this stuff. But how did Hilary kill Kobe? And I'm just going to say that sentence and let it sit there. People can be like, what? Well, this comes from right wing watch. Oh, so it's got to be accurate. It's got to be accurate. This guy, he's just asking questions. Guy named Chris from McDonald's. He's just asking questions. And he said, and he wants to say straight up. He's like, no, this is the only wild conspiracy theory I am. I'm ever going to toss out there on this program. He McDonald laughably absurd. This comes from the friendly atheist dot pathios. Okay.

He said, I normally don't do this, but this is just a food for thought question. Well, no, that it's pretty much a given that Mrs. HRC is a witch. Can a witch cast a spell on someone like this to cause death and not be known? I'm just throwing it out. I don't know of anything about this stuff, though. But is it possible that if she wanted to get rid of Kobe? Please right now ring, right, ring watch. Don't be putting that on me. All right. Me and Corey said, do you think Hilary would be able to do it with magic if she wanted to do it? Yeah, but then a lot of questions. Couldn't she have also just become president? No, that's pussy shit. She killed Kobe. So somehow she killed Kobe. But like,

was just like, I'm not going to use my witch powers to have the one thing that I want. Most in life happened to me. She hiked up her jogging jeans so up at high inside of her, and she got some onyx from the witchcraft store and she killed Kobe. Oh, just throwing it out there. Oh my goodness. Wouldn't be the one thing that seems like it seems that it's not real. Yeah, there's a lot of people. There's a lot of people because it's a senseless loss, right? Of course. It's a thing that feels absolutely chosen. The world is unfortunately quite often just a spider web of total chaos. But that's actually the opposite of spider webs are very organized. It's chaos. It's just the idea that there is not necessarily many daddies out there

making sure that everything happens to some sort of Illuminati-esque wing. They were not trained and someone's not fully totally in control. And so people are very, very scared. If Kobe can die, oh, we are all ready to roll like we are like no one is saving Ben Kitzel and Henry Zabrowski. If they couldn't save Kobe, we're all gone. But we did get an email from a helicopter pilot that says, please, dude, we got to stop our boycott of helicopters because it says it's going to fuck with the helicopter industry. And I don't, you know, so I don't know what to say, but I'm still, it's going to be very difficult for me to get in one. I did not. We did not boycott the helicopter industry. Although I did put it, it was an

LPN. We did. It was an LPN mandate. LPN mandate. Yeah, LPN mandate that goes for fans too. But then there are also many other people I've received other emails, other also saying helicopters are crazy dangerous. So it's all out there. But I don't want to harp on it too much. Just understand. Just take, when you get on a helicopter ride, just call everybody and tell them you love them first. I know that's going to be, it's going to be dour because a lot of times helicopter rides are fun. The whole point is that it's fucking some, you're either like in there with a bunch of hot chicks or shooting a bunch of wolves with assault rifles. I know that you're about to have fun. Yeah. But just know it a somber moment. Understand that you never know

when the sky is going to pluck you out of there. You never, you never know. You could be shooting wolves from a helicopter like the beginning of the great film, The Thing. Turns out that's not a wolf at all. Now you've no angered an entity that is going to end up killing you and your entire research team. Nonetheless, just be careful up there and you're right. For that one helicopter pilot, support him. But my rule is support these, support your local helicopter pilot. No more, no more than eight feet off the ground. How much hover? You know what you do? Make a little city out of Legos. Go eight feet up. Oh my God, are we 45,000 feet up in the air? Oh my God. Yeah, create trumpleos. I don't know what that term is. I love it. There's like,

there's a, why don't we engage your imaginations for a little bit? Huh? That's my, everybody wants the real thing. The only one to see all this stuff. It's just engage your imagination for a second and see how far you'll get because you know a book will take you anywhere. The only thing that I could imagine right now is that banana pudding splashing against your windshield as you curse at someone and you get rear-ended. Oh my God. Just cut to you licking it off the windshield be like. One last little dollop of cream before I go. I mean, well Natalie's like perfectly fine. Just mean like, don't you want to say goodbye to your wife? Now you want to like kiss your wife? I'm like, just show me your boobies. Show me your boobies one last time. What a lucky lady.

You know, what a luck. I just, just imagine if she was sprung with romance and she was like, let's get something, let's do something wild in the car today. And then she goes to maybe try to touch, you know, you in your intimate parts and all of a sudden she's like, what is that? Are you? Oh, baby. Oh, you're hitting my, I'm sorry. You hit my pudding vat. We were talking about doing a thing just called pud or put pud pud with Henry Zabrowski and it's just me doing news stories while eating various vats of pudding. There's show in there. There is a show in there. There's more of a show in there than there is a show in here. Speaking of news, we should get to some stories because they do exist this week. This comes from Fox eight.

Missing Burlington woman believed to be dead after entering dumpster, not exiting before it was serviced. Police say Burlington, North Carolina, a woman reported missing in Slassine in Greensboro is believed to be dead. According to a news release from Burlington police, Stephanie Cox, 30 of Burlington was reported mixing on Thursday before Cox was reported missing. Police say they found her car unattended behind a row of businesses. Investigators believe Cox may have been trying to collect items from a dumpster shortly after midnight and didn't exit the dumpster before it was served. When was it served? At night. But I guess it was at night. But how don't you hear and I'm not victim. This is very sad, obviously, but at some point you're you're in the dumpster and you're

like being a little raccoon from those new commercials that are out. I think they're Geico or something. I don't know. And then at some point you're like, Beep. Beep. It could be suicide by dumpster. You think this is a suicide by dumpster. I mean, I don't know. It's not like these dump trucks back up super fast, right? Don't you don't sneak up on you know. No, they don't. They don't sneak up on you know, but I can't blame the woman because you're in a you're in a fucking flurry, right? You have you saw some pre like maybe you saw like maybe we're outside like an orphanage, a bunch of kids died. So they threw a bunch of fresh cribs out. And you want to get at these cribs while they're while they're they're fresh. I guess I don't know why it would have to

be a fresh crib. Cribs don't really age like tomatoes, but because they don't get spiders in them. Sure. Okay. A spiderless crib. You're like, that's that's the dumpster. Gotta get it. That's deal. Right. I mean, maybe somebody dropped off with a gun in there. I don't know. You want to refurbish your gun. You're looking for it. You're looking for something in there. You're in the flow. You're you're a fucking seeing stuff. You're seeing the future. You know what you're going to build. You know how to take other people's trash and turn them into new people's treasures. That's what you love. The Etsy community. Sure. That's what it kind of thrives on, right? People who can refurbish things. It's important for the environment. I completely agree.

Refurbish, reuse, right? And it is in that fervor feeling the Gaia energy, knowing she's saving planet earth. She's that dumpster company. She is the dumpster coming. I mean, for a second, she thinks she's about to be picked up by a UFO. Well, she's like, come get me. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, and then the whole dumpster goes past, but she was crushed to death. I know. And that was much worse than being picked up by a UFO at some point. And I don't know how this works. I've never been unless you lose all your genitalia, unless the heavens gate is correct. Well, I don't know what is worse. I don't know if heavens gate was correct about much. And hopefully Marcus continues to not follow down Apple White's road. Yep. But at some point,

don't you like look in the back of the dumpster? I'm talking about the dumpster workers now, the garbage people, which makes them sound bad garbage men, garbage women. I love that job, and they deserve sanitation officer. At some point, don't you look and just be like, oh, that one has legs and hands. That's a weird garbage bag screaming. I'm looking at shit. I ain't looking at shit. That is called that you want it. What's the term? I want to have the plausible deniability laws. But no, but that only that would only apply if the garbage men are trying to kill her. I don't know what they're trying to do. So maybe she was annoying. Maybe she wouldn't get out of the dumpster. Maybe she's like, this ain't a dumpster. This is my home.

This ain't a dumpster. And there's like, ma'am, please, ma'am, we're gonna leave this dumpster. No, it's like, this is my flag. I discovered this dumpster. And now it is. It is now the United States of Cox America. Stephanie Cox, my name, can't kill me. Can't kill me. And they're like, so see what we can do. Oh, we can't kill you. She's so she's, she's, you can't get me this mom. Oh, fucking death. She's using the Grover defense. Is that it? This is my garbage. She's using the Oscar defense. Yeah. Okay. Well, yeah, maybe Grover. I don't know what Grover is. Grover just hangs out. Yeah, she's using the Oscar, the Grouch defense. And Oscar, you know, I don't know why he was so grouchy because he seemed happy to be in the trash. That was the

happiest he was. He was always upset when he got out of the trash. That's the idea. But anyway, is it possible that she was one of these people and I actually sympathize with them. I just can't do what they do because I think it's a little bit too gross. The dumpster diving community that saved the food, fragrance, fragrance, because they, you see all the food out there and you know, it's good food. I just, you know, you just go for it. I just, I knew people that did it. I knew people that were full on did it and they lived whole lives doing it. Now, and I agree. I do believe that there is far too much wasted food in this country and America has higher, I don't know, or tighter standards of like what are expert, what are expired foods that they do even in Europe.

And then also a lot of businesses are forbidden to give their old, oh, you can't, of course not. Yeah, it's expired. We used to do it. They used to do it every once in a while, like on the sly, when the Jackie used to work at the Blue Stove in New York, where they used to take all the day olds and just kind of leave them out. And I remember when I was also working in Tallahassee, when they used to work at the, I forgot the name of the deli, they used to do the same thing where they knew people would wait. And then they're like, I'm throwing my stuff out now. And they would go and like have it all in a garbage bag, but then like leave it outside of the dumpster. So people take it. I did a very similar thing. This is called dumpster talk, by the way. This is our new show.

It's the show inside of the show. But just the commercial. Can we throw a commercial for put in there with Henry Zabrowski? Oh, I like this one because it's got little walnuts and it's nice. Oh, yeah, this is nice. Oh, pardon. Well, 9-11-2 happened yesterday afternoon. Really? Yeah, you had to update the people. So you mix it, you cut the bad news and the hard news. Bad news put with Henry Zabrowski. So it's me just reading bad news while I eat pudding and describe the pudding. So that kind of makes it easier to digest all the tragedy. Yes. When I was at Jimmy John's, we used to have the day old bread, which I'm going to say this, it's better, almost better than the fresh bread. And I gave it to a specific man every day until the owner, who was

a racist, he really was. He was a bad man in Milwaukee there. What, of a Jimmy John's? Yeah, I know. An owner of a Jimmy John's is a bad man. I know. It was, it was stunning. He put a lock. He put a padlock on the dumpster and I said, oh my goodness, let him have the bread. So I would just give him the bread. That's very nice. Yeah, why not? You were fired from that job as well. I was fired from every job I've ever had. But not this job. Not yet. I'm technically, I have to, I can't, you and Marcus have to fire me. Let's feel it for a second. Ben, sit down. I have, I have unfortunate news I have to tell you. We love your energy here, LPN. We love all of your quips. We love all your knowledge. We love your, your every man, homie, homiesense. We love, we love what you give,

what we do. I've always said that I have a homie, I've homiesense. Yep. Uh, you're, you are unfortunate. Let go. All right. Wow. I'm used to it. You know, that's the thing. And the next thing you know, I'm out there and I know when these fast food joints are throwing away all the most fresh of the trash and boom, I'm living better than you are. I'm sitting on a pile of riches. I'm the king of slam, I'm the king of slam city. Oh, Henry, what if I was just thinking, maybe I could give you like some road head. Is it, is it pudding in your lap? Baby, you didn't let me know before I got my pudding out of my pudding curve. Because I've, then by then, I'll have developed little grooves in my inner thighs or my pudding. I can not believe you

missed the final five minutes of Super Bowl action. So you could drive home to eat pudding well in the car driving home. All right. All right. Well, that was, so your store, so, so RIP, Ms. Cox, it's very sad. Be careful in the dumpster world out there. And also be careful in the dumpster world. If you are a garbage, you are a person. If you were one of these dumpster agents, that's what I'll call it. Sure. It's deadly. It's a deadly world, the dumpster world. Yes, it is. So you got to get out of there. Always keep your head in a swivel because you never know when one of these dump trucks are going to sneak up on you and crush you to death. They don't, they can't legally sneak. What? They have to beep. No, I know. Yeah, they're not on

stealth mode. That's what I know. It's very difficult to hear. It's very easy to hear. They wake me up every night because I live on a very noisy street in New York. I hate the beep. But I guess it didn't save this woman's life. RIP, very sad. And if you do work in sanitation, if you're a sanitation officer, look in the back every now and again. Just see if you're crushing a bunch of people. That's not your job. Your job is to get those baskets. You got to get those, you got to get the shit off the street. You know that. You know your real job. I guess so. All right. You should be allowed to hide things in the garbage if we have to. That's what? Oh my goodness. Bob Burdella. Bob Burdella, just through everything. Oh,

look, now I'm understanding your point because if you're the garbage man on the Bob Burdella route, all of a sudden you're looking at these human fans. You're implicated now, bro. Yeah. Now you have to do something. It does make you feel a lot more. You have to do something. You have to stop your whole day and you're getting paid for that shit. I get it. I mean, I don't know how it works. I think I don't think it's buy bag, but you have to stay on your route. You can't go and speak with police officers all day. They take all day. Yeah, that garbage ain't going to pick up itself. I wish it could. But then you know what? I don't. I'm sorry for everything. You know what? Because I want our sanitation officers to stay employed.

That's a good, see, that's very nice. I do too because they get good, they get good benefits. All right. Well, speaking of someone, Miss Greatness Sack. I don't know about that. I've never kissed a sanitation officer. I haven't been lucky enough yet, but one day my uncle Butch was one. Really? Yep. Oh my, the uncle that taught you how to eat pudding. Well driving. So this, this story, if you ever met Putin, man, she's a real firecracker. I'm sure she is. I hear she likes to dumpster dive. So this is a story this. So in 1979, this is a story here. This is an update because we're doing, we got, we got an update here. This is a woman in 1979. She is now 57 years old when Brenda Spencer was 16. She shot up an elementary school

from a window in her home, leaving two people dead and nine more injured. Okay. Now this woman is 57 years old. She's in a California prison and she is officially members. She officially was inducted to Henry. Wait for it. Yes. The Golden Girls Club. And so what does that mean? It means when you get your mugshot, they put the word golden girl underneath it and it's kind of fun. It's in yellow. It's not gold, but it's prison. It's as close as they can get. And the thing that made this case famous was Brenda Spencer's reasoning behind the mass shooting. Evidently cops were like, so Brenda, what happened? Today was not a good day. The series of things went wrong. And she just said, quote, I just don't like Mondays. I did this because it's a way to cheer up the day.

And Henry, perhaps you can do that in a greater accent. I just don't like Mondays. I did this because it's a way to cheer up the day. I just don't like Mondays. It's just a way to cheer up the night. And now she's a golden girl. Oh, that's amazing. Indeed. So the incident. So, but she killed, she killed two children. Yeah. In injured nine, this woman and she obviously has not aged gracefully. You can't really do that in prison. I mean, some people look great after years of prison because you can work out. Okay. All right. I'm going to give it to you. I don't know. I'll give it. I'll throw that your way. I don't think it makes people look better because you don't get any sunlight and then the constant threat of being abused and then, you know, just being

stressful. Yeah. You got to make it work for you. I was listening to a thing yesterday that they said the idea has been like, don't serve time. Let the time serve you. No, that's opposite. What? You don't know. You can work out. Marie. No, but you don't want, you don't want, you want to do the time. You don't want the time to do you. I think it's that you don't, you don't do time. You let time do before you. I am destroyed today. Yeah. No, I believe it is. This is the toughest coverage. I believe it is. You do the time. You are in charge of time. You don't want the time to you. Don't just serve time. Let time serve you. It's like Wall Street. It's like the market. Let your money work for you. So this incident, Bob Geldof, you know, you know, Bob Geldof, right?

The dude who's saying all of those, like he benefited musically off of every single tragedy of all time, like Bob Geldof. He's the one who did like all of the fundraiser festivals that all everyone's like, where's the money, Bob? And Bob is like, I don't know where the money went because you can't cure AIDS through music because it takes science and medicine to cure AIDS. I wish you could. I wish you could. Yeah, it would be great. Certain music probably causes AIDS. You know what? You got to have fun. Bob Geldof, he heard this story about how this woman doesn't like Mondays, so she shot and killed two kids, injuring nine others. And he said, time for me to write another song. So he wrote a number one hit song in the UK,

and it was entitled, I don't like Mondays by the boomtown rats, which was released just weeks after the shooting. I think that we covered something like this. I'm certain that Marcus knows who the boomtown rats are. I'm sure. I think I've heard those words come out of his mouth. He has described several bands that I don't know that it just sound like either a type of dumpster animals, or they are, it's like a weird disease, and then you find out it's a band. Yes, exactly. And for some reason, Bob Geldof, everything, that man has not aged well, because everything he did, he didn't, he pretended like he was doing it for good reasons, but then he never followed through with any of the good stuff. Yeah. Yeah. So Spencer, now 57,

she is part of 1800 other prisoners in the facility in Riverside County, California. This gives them a few more privileges. And now she is officially a golden girl, and she held up her sign and she was very happy. And it was nice for her to be a golden girl, despite the fact that all the children she killed obviously never will be. And you just have to be, you just have to be a good prisoner. And I guess she was, because she's a golden girl, she is now entitled to possession of, get this, Henry, two state pillows, three blankets, two mattresses, and this is true, first dibs on the coveted bottom bunk if the inmates so chooses. So you think you're sitting

here being like, oh, ceremonial golden girl. No, dude. My thing is top bunk. You know, but you want the bottom bunk. Once you're, once you're doing hard time and you're old, you just don't want to be climbing up and down. You want to have the room on the basement floor. I guess it's easier for someone to reach up and touch your bits while you're asleep from the top bunk. Honestly, perhaps I don't. Yes. So this is a pretty big thing for her. This is according to a spokesperson for the prison. They say that golden girls program at California institution for women is geared towards addressing the emotional and physical needs of the older population. And he inmate age 55 or older is eligible to be identified as a quote GG and participate in it

voluntarily. So there you go. It's almost, I mean, you know, she's obviously, she's criminal, but you're still a human when you're in jail up to a point, depending on what you've done. And it's nice that they could be treated as such, I guess, even though she did keep two children from having a future. Yes, but they might have sucked. No, they didn't. Honestly, I mean, I don't know. You don't know what anybody's going to do with their lives. It was very sad, but she was 16 at the time. And again, she just did this from her bedroom window. It really bizarre. She was using her rifle. It's a fucked up story. It is like it's one of those we can do even a vaguely deep dive for a relax fit one day. Yeah, we should because evidently, so she's just using her pops

rifle was a six hour standoff with a SWAT team. She's a 16 year old girl. If you look at a picture of her, she looks like one of the Manson girls. She's not big. She's very, very small, petite, 16 year old, very petite. I don't know what I don't know why she did it. No, well, we'll find out well, she hated Mondays, but we will cover this in more depth. But yes, it's a very interesting story. Interesting. All right. Well, now she has dibs on lower bunks. She's got a couple of pillows, couple of blankets and two mattresses life couldn't be better for. Well, here we go. I want to do this story that is about the what science can do. Oh, what can't it do? It's a lot. Yeah, that's true. But I there are things that it can do, which are very interesting. Like when an ancient

Egyptian is buried with that, uh, an ancient Egyptian is buried. And now thousands of years later, we can do a 3D rendering. They did 3D rendering of the voice box of this mummy. Oh, and so you can hear what their voice would sound like here in now in 2020. Really? You can, we can go all back in time and hear with their voice. I'm like, are you ready, Kissel? I'm actually very, yes, I'm very, uh, interested in this. So they just did it. They did a 3D printing of the voice box of a mummy. But when you weren't you, when you were mummified, aren't you dead? Yes. But if those are still all in there. So this is, you'll see if a mummy could scream, be prepared. Okay. I'm gonna have your socks blown. Whoa, is that pudding? That's it. That's the mummy. Yep. That's what

they did. That's what our science did. Let's do it again. That's it. That's all he has to say. Okay, I was under, I was under the impression it was gonna be a little bit more like Boris Karloff, like there's gonna be a little bit more. Nope, just that's it. That's all they can do. It sounds like a dumpster that actually is running low on honking. I don't know how hawks work. It's running low on honking fluids. Yeah, on honking fuel. That is, man, sometimes science doesn't have to release everything they find out. This is, they were really excited about this. And all of the headlines are so interesting. You know what I mean? Because it's all just like, wow, so excited to hear like what he sounds like. They're talking, it's this marble of science. It is, it's obvious,

this is the future, you know, but then it's just, that's it. Really? Thousands of dollars. Maybe hundreds of man hours to do that. Hundreds of man hours. There's a lot of stuff in there. I'm certain that they got some of that Epstein money. It's like one of those groups where I know that on some level these people like got like some like a thousand dollars in Epstein money, because it was all bundled in bullshit at that point. And that's what he paid for. Huh, okay. I'm not saying that. I'm sure obviously I'm just maligning people that I don't know. It's very possible. Well, man, that's the thing. It's like, if you have, I feel like science, when they have something that is like when they've really cracked a code, right? Then they share,

the code has been cracked with us. And then they share DNA. Oh my God. This is so unbelievable. But like, I don't think they needed to even share that. You can almost barely hear it. You know what I mean? Just that's it. Kind of shatters your, just shatters your idea of everything that you thought about maybe a mummy could do like what it could do. Is it magical? Is it spiritual? Like the powers that it could contain. They're just in it. Essentially just logs. They're just logs. Yeah, mummies can be dead. You used to use them for fuel all the time. Yeah, we learned that when we were in London. Thanks for, oh my goodness, the wonderful woman who gave us the very personal tour of the London Museum. We got a wonderful personalized tour

from from the Instagram handle at dawn of antiquity. Yeah. And she did a great job taking us through the death and burial sections at the British Museum. Yes, we saw a lot of bog people and they were, they were around for like thousands and thousands of years and you could still like look at their fingernails and stuff. It was so cool. Yeah, they were very thin by then. But I guess we didn't need to know what they sound like because it's just that. That's it. It's all history, man. Yeah, man. It's you wonder why there's a hard time getting people going for science sometimes. Yeah, although there shouldn't be. You got that's why I mean, but it can't all be flashy. I will put that out there too. It can't all just be flashy. No,

like you have to be able to absorb some of the boring science as well because the boring science is the stuff that's going to save our lives one day. Intectively, or the planet. This isn't even boring science. It is exciting. It's just really an exciting idea. Really. It's the mummy's fault. It's the mummy just didn't show up to perform. It was not needed more stuff to say. Yeah. It's like, come on, mummy. You have been silent for thousands of years. Say something. Here you go. At least it wasn't something in like the Jews were warned about 9 11. What in the world? What in the world? Get all right. Shut up, mummy. Shut up, mummy. Okay. Well, let's do hero of the week before we get to some lists or emails. What do you think, Henry? Yeah. All right.

Let's do this week's hero of the week. This story is a strange one. So this is a kid. The kid's name is Hunter Ward. His last name was Ward. He's 19 years old. So he spent a year like all 19 year olds. He was mowing lawns. He was scrap. He was doing scrap metal. He was finding scrap metal and things like that, selling that. He raised $10,000 and like every 19 year old, he had a goal in mind. Maybe he wanted to go to college or space camp. Maybe he was like, I'm going to go to the I'm going to go to the Super Bowl with this. No, he's going to get that new strat or one of those. He's going to get a crazy guitar or some shit. Yeah. Really live a 19 year old's dream. No. That's not what Hunter Ward had in mind.

He invested this $10,000 in a newborn baby drop off box. I don't know why it was $10,000, but it is. Okay. It's just a box. It's just a box. And in this box, again, it is for unwanted newborn babies. I don't know where this guy got the idea. I don't know what child he would trauma happen to him to even have this cross his 19 year old mind when he should be watching Shakira and JLo at the halftime show on loop and just doing God knows what with with his own kind of pudding. Yeah. So he put this outside of a firehouse and a year later, a baby showed up. So the students said, this is the hero story. This is the hero story. So he put a box and out in front of a fire department. That's it. And then somebody just left a baby inside of it. I know we're

going to read we're going to get mail that people are going to say there's obviously much more involved than just a cardboard box that says leave your baby here on here. Well, it really isn't that much more. What you have to do is you have to get a lot of licenses, which I would assume that he paid for. Okay. So the whole thing is this Indiana safe haven baby box, right? And there's a little bed in there. And then they have a crisis hotline. You know, it's a it's a it's more than just your typical, you know, box. It's not just like a casket. No, it's not. It's not a casket. It's not just the opposite of a great. It is. It's a it's not a crate that you literally just leave a human child in a Garfield is not

mainly normal to Abu Dhabi in this box. This box is relatively nice. So his mom relatively nice it for a was going to pillow in it. Yeah, it does. Okay. His mom Julia said it was a lot of hard work, a lot of blood, sweat and tears. Ward spent a lot of time collecting metal, which his mom said helped him shuttle to the scrap yard. So the box in alarm in the box alerted firefighters to the baby's presence within a minute of her arrival. She was one. She was a one hour old. This is according to Chief Brad Lucas. He said we were ecstatic that the system was used. It worked perfect. Exactly how it was designed to work. They provided care until an ambulance showed up. It is like a trap. Is it like, I don't know.

Monica tells me how it's designed. I mean, this is incredible. I had no clue that this is a thing. I know. I know. That's very sweet. So a bell goes off when you leave a baby inside of it. Do the woman have the baby in it? Did she just squat over it and just like, shed a baby into it? No, the baby was an hour. The baby was brand new. It was an hour old. I don't know. I guess you could just walk out of the hospital with it. I don't know. This is according to safe haven boxes. This is the woman that Monica Kelsey is the founder, right? This is what Kelsey told CNN. She said, these babies were left in trash cans and dumpsters. One was left at the door of a hospital. That baby had frozen to death before he was found.

But this little girl in Seymour is going to be growing up knowing how much her birth mom loved her, just like I did. So that's very good. Don't leave your baby. Don't leave your baby out. Like, just put it in a box. Put it in a box. That's the moral of this story, is find a box and leave it in front of a firefighter's house. Not a dumpster, though. This is not a good dumpster week for anyone. No, dumpsters are six feet and over. That's what I think. I think a dumpster, if it's taller than you, it's a dumpster. If it's shorter than you, it's a box. Yes. And if it's as long as you are as a full human and it's meant to be buried, it's a casket. So there you go, Hunter Ward, you're this week's hero of the week for creating a baby box. I would love to know

as you were mowing lawns, if someone's like, what are you going to use this 15 bucks for, kid? And you're like, make it a baby box. It's a baby box. They never get out again. They're like, okay, cool. Please just, just, just leave the lawn mowing the shed. Yeah. Thank you. Bye. Thank you. So there you go. Build a box and they will come. I guess he is a hero. So that is good. So here we go. I mean, it does sound a little bit like fishing, you know, like when you're ice fishing, you're just going to wait for a pedophile and then a lid's going to fall down the top of it when you go to get it. All right. So I have some longer viewer letters that I'm excited to read. Okay. They're not viewer. I keep saying viewer. I mean, they're looking,

maybe they're looking at your face on YouTube or something. They're following me home. They're watching me from across the street. Then you are a viewer and please leave my family alone. But keep listening if you would, but don't watch me. No. If you, if you must not, don't. Although now that they know that you're on this pudding kick, they might need to see what that looks like in real life. Bring me some pudding and you'll see a smile on a man's face. Oh, so here we go. This comes from J. It was 2010. I was in junior year of high school and it just spent the evening with my then-boyfriend Kay. It was getting pretty late. So we had to drive me home on the other side of town. This is Northwest New Jersey. Loss of dense forests, farms. My house is on the

outskirts of town, right up against where the thicker woods began. We were driving along the windy road leading out of town and towards my house when I saw it, whatever it was, under the illumination of one of the few streetlights and just out of reach of the headlights of the car, some sort of large creature scurried across the road. Living all over northern Jersey, my entire life, I knew what deer and bears looked like and this was not one of them. It ran on all fours, but its gangly limbs were disproportionate to its body. The way it moved could only be described as if we're a man running on his hands and feet, but it moved much too fast to possibly be that. It was too dark to make out any features on whatever it was and before headlights reached,

it had already scampered off into the tree line and disappeared. I didn't say anything at first. I've always been into spooky stories of cryptids and aliens my entire life, but Kay, he's different. He was always pretty easily frightened by horror topics and didn't particularly enjoy ghost stories, so I didn't want to freak him out. Oh no. That's very nice Henry, not everyone likes to be eating pudding talking about ghosts while they drive. Well it's hard to be close to me then, if you're not one of those people. That's why they're not. We pulled into my driveway and sat there in silence for a moment. I honestly didn't want to get out of the car as my yard is surrounded by the same woods. I saw whatever it was running off into. Now without even turning to me, Kay said,

did you see that thing? After that night, we never spoke of the weird creature again. It freaked us both out pretty bad and we both wanted to try to forget about it. Eventually, we had broken up, gone off to separate colleges and lost touch. I stayed in Jersey and it was a few years later that we reconnected and we have been kind of long distance friends since. Recently, I thought of that creature again. I still remember the night clearly, but my memory can be strange. I thought maybe it was just remembering what I had wanted to see, so I reached out to Kay and I asked a simple question. Do you remember that weird thing we saw on the road? Without missing a beat, Kay described the exact scene from my memory down to every last detail, how it looked and moved.

That confirmed for me, it definitely happened. How else could we both remember the same exact scene from nearly a decade ago? We witnessed it in detail and both of our own little bit of research into what the creature possibly could have been and given the geographical location and the local native lands. It was possibly a windigo. Because that's when things got really weird and have been weird since. I've read in Native American folklore that creatures like this are essentially activated when you speak of them, similar to the theory of willing aliens and shit into reality. And I think that this is what happened. Following my extensive conversation with Kay about the event, I had another weird experience in the woods. I was house sitting for a co-worker who lives even further into

Bumble Fuck Nowhere Forest land and it had just snowed. It's a strange name for a town. It is. It's very direct. I decided to go for a short walk in the woods surrounding the property since I had been cooped up and I took their two dogs with me. The dogs, however, did not want to leave the property and sat at the treeline. I should have seen this as a sign of something that was off, but I figured it was because they didn't want to be out in the snow. I walked on the path for a while. Now if you ever been in the middle of nowhere after a decent snowfall, you know how silent it can be. The woods were completely still and I was happily taking in how peaceful it felt when what I can only describe as a goat screaming as it dies shattered the silence. It sounded like it came from up ahead

around a rocky outcropping. Most people would probably turn and book it out of the woods at this point, but I'm an idiot. It would probably die someday from curiosity. I also like to try to be irrational and this was a rural area, maybe a goat escaped a nearby farm. I continue on to investigate the noise. When I moved around the rocks, I was standing on top of a small gully in a very open area. There was no sign of any animals, but I knew it had to come from this area. It hadn't sounded far off and because of the snow, there wasn't much of an echo of sound in general. Then from behind me, where I had just come from, I heard it again. It was if whatever the source of the sound was had stalked around me in a giant circle and it was now in my path back to the house,

I immediately started to back away facing the direction of the sound. I managed to loop my way around the area and hit the property line where the dogs were still just waiting for me and sprinted for the door. I didn't go back outside for two days. This is all real. I don't know what the creature was or what the noise was or even if they're connected at all. The coincidence of the timing is what leads me to believe that they're related and ever since, I've not been able to be near the woods alone without feeling watched to some degree. Alright, well don't go in the woods alone. Definitely not. I just love a Wendigo story. I do love a Wendigo story. Very cool. And this is another reminder. Please keep sending your stories. We love your listener. We love your listener

stories. Absolutely. Email us at sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. Especially for weeks like this where we don't have the biggest of all the big news stories. This is just such a perfect time to get reacquainted with you and your wonderful stories. Alright, now this one's interesting. This comes from the parent of what they are calling a young sociopath. For a little background information, we are a white middle-class loving family with three boys. One in college, one in high school, and a toddler. They're all highly intelligent, charismatic, and good-looking kids. There's no history of substance abuse unless you count smoke and enjoyment now and then when we were young or domestic violence in the immediate nuclear family.

But we do have an extended family with signs of personality disorders. As a rule, these family members were not allowed to have much, if any, interaction with the kids. My husband died of cancer a few years ago and I have since remarried another kind, funny man. Our oldest son, S, is a funny, self-depreciating, sensitive, and highly empathetic. Our youngest so far is a happy little boy with an easy laugh and a personality that lights up the room. Our toddler M loves when his oldest brother comes home from college and S is his favorite person. From what I can tell, the feeling is mutual. But then there's our middle son. Let's call him C. The signs were there for many years that C was not a normal child. He was serious and unemotional as a baby. By the time he was five,

he was randomly, wantonly violent, especially towards his quiet older brother and animals. I didn't think there was ever a full five minutes in their lives that S and C were able to get along and by the time they were four and six, we couldn't even leave them alone together. S always somehow ended up hurt. I'll be honest. At first, my husband and I were in full denial that this wasn't just a rambunctious streak that C would grow out of. Surely it wasn't as bad as S said, waking up to him standing on his throat, trying to smother him with pillows, kids exaggerate, and there was always a lot of sibling rivalry, right? Now, nevertheless, when he began to have behavioral problems in kindergarten, we started seeking help from a therapist who initially diagnosed him with ADHD.

We stayed in therapy trying to get help for his increasingly violent and manipulated behavior for the next 12 years. We went through diagnosis of oppositional defiance disorder, then conduct disorder to the final admission that he has antisocial personality, but technically won't graduate to that diagnosis until he's 18. It's hard to paint a clear picture for you of what was going on in our lives as we sought help for our child. It sounds so unbelievable, like the plot of the good son or something. As a mother, I can't stress enough the stigma of saying that you are afraid your child will be the next school shooter or serial killer. It comes from everyone. No matter how you respond, you're crucified by others. Either you're a monster for acknowledging your fears and

should have stuck by defending the honor of her child, or you're a monster who should have parented more firmly. Either way, it's your fault. I struggle mightily with this. I constantly wonder what I could have done differently. In the end, I decided I have a responsibility to protect society from my son as much as I have a responsibility to protect my son. It took years of documentation, calling 911, begging for help from doctors and therapists, and eventually turning to child protective services to get our family help. In the years we sought help, he stabbed others, choked his brother to unconsciousness, has stabbed and choked me, committed various thefts and fraud, started fires, injured and molested animals, destroyed countless properties. He does incidentally

have the McDonald's triad and went into bed, he wet the bed deep into his teens. Most disturbingly, he has the uncanny ability to flip on a dime when the police arrive to pretend that thank God that they have arrived. His family is going nuts and accusing him of the most terrible things. No matter how many times the family sought help, no matter how many times photographs or recordings we have of events, he denies any wrongdoing. He even claims that S stabbed himself to get him in trouble and this is all plot against him. In the earlier years, C was a particularly adorable little boy with curly blonde hair and big blue eyes who was the top of his class. As an older teen, he is handsome, brilliant, charismatic young man with his pick of girlfriends, even in the

psychiatric facilities and group homes where he has lived for the past several years while undergoing treatment. C has been arrested and released several times and when he runs away from his placements, each time charming the judge in prosecution with his eloquence and apologies. He's been in psychiatric care for so long that he speaks the lingo with ease and is adept at manipulating the system to get extra privileges. At least until his psychiatrist tells the staff that that is a part of what he does, C has no empathy. He has stabbed and choked family members and not only has no remorse but claims the evidence of it as stage. C likes to remind us that they can only keep him so long. There are protocols and as long as he follows the rules,

they will have to release him and he's right. Sometime in the near future, they will have to release him from his latest psychiatric hospital and soon he will be 18 and when that day comes, I will no longer have the authority to force him into treatment. I plan to change my name and phone number because I'm honestly afraid that his family will be his first victims. Until then, I fight every day to try to get him help and prevent the tragedy that I am almost certain is coming. I'm in a family support group for children with conduct disorder and I can say empathetically that our story is one of the more successful ones. At least we were able to get resources for him. Most families are not that lucky. Damn, all right. Well, that's scary.

That is, you know, it's one of those emails where, yes, are we living a life without children? Yes. Do most of our friends that stayed in the hometowns, do we come from have a bunch of kids? Sure. And maybe they look down at us, but then I hear stories like that and I say, I'm happy with Puffin. Thank you. I'll stick to my Chihuahua. Yeah, I like dogs. I like my Chihuahua. Very interesting. All right, here's this. This is a lighter story. A few years ago, I was heavily into jujitsu and trained five to six days out of the week. As you would expect, I found myself injured time to time. Broken toe here, black and I there, a fingernail just up and going missing, became commonplace. That was, however, one injury in particular, I will never forget.

I usually trained during the evening classes, but I went to a morning class to clear out my evening for a date I had planned with this bartender that I had been hitting off with. I didn't know most of the people in the morning class have paired up with somebody close to my height and weight to drill a guard pass. Now, the guard is a neutral defense position in jujitsu. For brevity's sake, it's pretty much just wrapping your legs around another dude, not letting them go. Hoist Gracie. Yeah, of course. Well, we were practicing was a way to break the legs open and slide your knee between them to allow yourself to move to the side of the person and gain in an advantageous position. He sent a clip, which is just being bullied. No, I know. It's MMA stuff.

Yeah, the Gracie family. Sure. Oh, yeah. We practice this movement back and forth a few times slowly before giving each other resistance, making us move a little faster, apply a little bit more force. The person I was drilling with seemed to be getting frustrated that he couldn't get the motion down and started trying to use brute force to get through the guard. He rocked his body back and threw his knee between my legs full force, connecting his knee to the dead fucking center of my taint. I had never taken a shot to the gooch before. Whoa. And I didn't really just how sensitive it was up there. I called the training off for the day and I went home to shower. Now for the rest of the day, I had a hot, white, hot burning sensation in my balls.

My stomach had a queasy feeling to it, a constant miserable sensation akin to when I would get what I would call blue balls as a teenager. Sure. I wanted to throw up and no matter how hard I tried, I felt like I had a pee, but I just couldn't get anything out. I do love that he's like what I call the blue balls as opposed to like what everyone else in the world is going to. Okay. The evening finally came and the date went pretty well despite the distress I was in. After a few beers, I was able to focus on conversation rather than discomfort I was feeling. This is how far a dude will go. This is how far. He literally got fucking need in the taint and he's still trying to close. He's working on it. The date. Overall, the date went well and

we ended up going back to her place. Sparing some details, we ended up having sex. I had her bent over her nightstand as I felt like I was about to come. I felt a sharp pain shoot from my asshole to the tip of my dick. It was like the pain I had experienced the moment the knee connected with me earlier in the day but magnified sevenfold. Hold on. I let out a yelp. This is the detail, but what detail did he spare us? I don't know. Okay. It was the most intense pain I believe I've ever felt in my life. I pulled out and to my dismay I watched as I shot several thick ropes of blood across the poor bartender's back. I was terrified and slightly embarrassed so without getting her a towel or explaining anything, I just grabbed my pants and hauled ass

out of there. It took about a week before the blood clear out of my ejaculate. The pain went away after the third day. I now drink at a different bar. You got to go and apologize. You got to wipe them. Oh my God. There's so many issues with that. You got to apologize. She's just like, what happened? She didn't know what happened. Oh my goodness. She literally thought he had Dick Mada. Oh, this is the chosen one. Wow. Wow. All right. Well, there you go. Four different emails, four different experiences, all traumatic and a great reminder that, you know, it could be worse. It could always be worse. It could always be worse. So there you go. All right, everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening to this week's side stories. Again,

we will be exclusive to Spotify February 14th. That's Valentine's Day. So find a love one, cuddle around, get that Spotify app and listen to all your favorite shows right there on the LPN network. We are also going to be on tour in April. We are so excited to see you. There's a bunch of dates. Come see our fucking assets. Come see us. We are so excited for this new tour. We're going to ride all this new shit. We got a fucking bus. We have a bus. And the thing is, they said, Ben, we have a bus, right? But the problem is the beds on the bus are only made for people of six foot four and under. And this is a truly, it's very sad truly like a thing we need to talk about because if you are too big for the bus, which shouldn't be true, it's a bus.

You're gonna have to sleep in the living room set up. I know, I know, which is gonna be worse. It's gonna be living with the worst roommate in the world in a traveling railroad apartment. Just me and the bus driver chit-chatting talking about speed limits and a whole series of different kind of crimes he's committed. Driving, huh? Yeah. Every, every couple hours. But yes, Spotify, again, one thing, so excited to work with that. Honestly, it's been great working with them. We just, we are now, we're excited for the future. We are very excited. We have so many things happening. Get about there by the book. See us live. Watch us strut in front. Don't you want to see our bodies dance? Absolutely. It's very exciting. So all right, everyone. Thank you all so much for

listening. Keep on supporting all the shows here, Abling and Stop, at page seven, Wiz, Brew, Movie Signs of the Mads. You, you know what to do. Live. Support the LPN network. Every day. Live every day outside of the forest. You know what the hell's in the forest. Of course. So live in the cities. Okay. This is an advertisement for cities. Good. Try living in a city. That's what I'm gonna start saying to people. But I guess we do have rural listeners. We love you. It's fine. It's fine that you're there. I'm sorry for everything. I love it. Then we laugh. Laugh like you're a man that just shot ropes of blood all over a woman. And you, you are just thankful you got it out because at least it's out of there. Okay. All right. It was gonna come out

at some point. Sure. Sure. And laugh the life of a man who's living a new life in a new bar who's changed his name saying whatever he wants to people and he's super charming and nobody knows the story of when you became the fucking bloody come Spider-Man but the worst version of Spider-Man. Yeah, I don't know. Also, he knows it's not that you're a new man in a new bar. Doesn't sound like it's that big of a town. It's probably just like right across the street. They will have heard about this. Whatever it is that we did. So this is this will leak. Literally. All right, everyone. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Magustalations. Help me, girl. Be careful in the woods. Oh, also, Patreon. We got a great new interview

coming out with Greg and Dana Newkirk from Hell Your Season 2. So check out our Patreon. Yes. Let's go. Let's go eat that pudding. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.