Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Grasping At Straws

Episode Date: May 30, 2019

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a burglar cleans an apartment, more UFO disclosure talk, crossbow murder update, and MORE. TRIPLE L.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left side stories Man, I had a dream last night that we were recording an episode of last podcast I don't know why I'm dreaming that is never the worst when your dreams are just your job Yes, isn't that the worst I honestly I like spending time with you boys, but you know Yeah, definitely like right back to work because we had an accidental day off yesterday So it was like I felt insane anyway, right having an accidental day off because I was like, what did I fuck up? What did I what am I missing right now? But in the middle of doing that we were doing the show and I said something on the show and Marcus started season

Oh my like whoa, whoa, Marcus who didn't whoa, and he went. Oh, it's a little sick Feel so and we're like what's that? I was like is it made I say something disgusting and he goes And he starts choking up this like fucking like pink like little guy Nood like like you're like me like Pat like you remember Oh, it's Pat. You don't remember pit Pat. Is it from mr. Show? No, Pat was that smell? Not Pat. Oh, okay. It's Pat, but it was called like pit Pat Okay, something that it was like a spokes thing

It was a sexless formless spoke this thing from mr. Show and it slid out of his mouth Fucking sweet. I was laughing the whole time while we're doing it. I was like this is fucking new Larry This is great podcasting. This is great podcasting Well, if there's anyone out there that knows how to interpret dreams, please email us at a side stories LP otl at Gmail.com. All right, everyone. This is side stories I am Ben hanging out with my boy Henry as always We cannot wait to be hanging out with you all this weekend in a Vancouver Seattle in Portland And if you are in Vancouver get those tickets

There's still a few available and it's just gonna be an absolute hoot. So get those tickets and we will see everyone there We're in the good part of Coover this time too. Do they call it Coover? I don't know if they call it Coover It seems a little I mean I get it like Coover. I'm Coover Coover Thomas. Sounds like a football player Coover Thomas sounds like a cool guy with the saxophone Yeah No, I don't think they do call it that because they're not it's like their names are like they have different nicknames over there Kind of like over the in the UK where they kind of add like a Iblee-Diblee to things I'm not really certain, but I've heard a lot of their names were like

It's like oh, yeah, oh, yeah, it has to have some kind of that's a little bit sillier, right? Just a coo of honestly the coop sounds pretty cool. So we cannot wait to see everybody there Thursday night Going to be very exciting. I also want to say it was wonderful to meet everyone You know what I did this weekend Henry? Yeah, I do know what you did this this weekend. He went to Las Vegas And I found out that Man that is tough for me to handle. Yeah, but it was a lot of fun You're gonna die there man. I hope not. I think dude. Okay, so seriously, Las Vegas. Have you ever seen Levy Las Vegas?

Yes, I love it. I love it But the highs and lows of Las Vegas are simply incredible So I saw people have the best time of their life the people watching was incredible And then I saw people having the lowest moment of their existence and the saddest thing I saw Three o'clock in the morning a man openly weeping at a slot machine Openly like weeping like he just lost a family member and the saddest part of all it was a 25 cent slot machine Oh my god, I don't know what happened I think he said I'm gonna let it ride and they did right and it rode away from him

And he's probably just 75 cents. I flipped it up to a fucking flip it up to a buck 50 Yeah, could the book 50 flip up to three. All I gotta do is I get that three over the roulette table. I'll let that ride buddy I'm feeling it now. I'm feeling it now I don't care what Deborah says The amount of times you just hear a slap on a table followed by fuck Fuck like it was oh my god. It was incredible, but it wasn't just a pleasure trip We also have some big news coming up here We're gonna be starting a wrestling podcast because people are like start a wrestling podcast

And that's what I was down there. I was down there to watch AEWs all or double or nothing and it was awesome Henry So yeah, it was a big old quotation marks business trip You met you met your new co-host which we will reveal soon Yeah, you guys saw some stuff and it was like a business trip that happened last like four days Yeah, no at one point I literally texted Marcus and Henry and I was like does like we're going to Vancouver Which is on the West Coast like maybe I should just stay in Vegas because we're all no you should come home right now The guy honestly you should actually get in a plane to New York City right now because you're gonna fucking die there

Vegas is I feel like it is still the one place I've ever been to that it is just the people watching is vacation enough. Oh my god different stories From back and forth of all the different again. It's the highs and lows. It's so much good drama It's a lot of good drama. We are really excited for this new podcast We don't really know you don't really know what's gonna be we don't know what's gonna be just yet But I know that it's it's rastlin. Yes, it's gonna be called kind of fun the LP and wrestling podcast And I think we're gonna focus because my co-host has a lot of insight on to Up-and-coming wrestlers. There's so much going on with New Japan AEW

So I think we're gonna focus on the world of professional wrestling in a much larger scope than just the WWE And well, of course, we'll talk about the WWE because it's also kind of fun, but it's gonna be a lot of fun So anyway, I fucking better be it better be it better be or I'm gonna get up. I'm gonna put the strap to you Am I back in Vegas? I had to happen to be in New Orleans, I paid a woman Basically what happened what had happened was I was there alone in New Orleans And I ended up with a group of bachelors at a bachelor party as like the ninth man on this bachelor party I was sitting there alone drinking so they absorbed me to their party

And then they just paid this woman in the street many many dollar bills to whip me and I didn't realize I was in a blackout I didn't realize I woke up in the morning covered in welts. It was great And I had to shoot a movie. I might have told the story before but it's great baby Kissel, can you hear? Yeah, we will wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Oh my gosh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's not a UFO because UFOs don't make noise this story Exploded like a shirako from the desert yesterday from the New York Times Disclosure is coming. Yes, it might be soft disclosure

So it's kind of like if you invited me over to your house and I was wearing a fake set of muscles Oh, my shirt on the beginning of our date. Right, and I was like, you know Oh, Jillian, you're really cool. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're really cool. I got blibby's Took enough time over from the gym to go out on a date with me, Henry. That's Jillian talking there. Okay. Yes Yeah, Jillian I got something that I had to tell you. Well, like you. I think you'll like me. Yeah What is it, Henry? Is it just you afraid that you're gonna have to eat too much protein in my presence? To keep your muscles all cut. No

This is a soft disclosure Jillian and then I pull off the muscles and she sees my body and then she's stuck She's stuck because it's hard to find a man in your mid 30s. Oh Well, I don't know if I don't know if that's true. It seems like there was many many available men out there but yes, yes, but The soft disclosure is here. So I say soft disclosure because the Pentagon still has not come out and said We know what these are. We have an alien craft. They're not one of our hangers. I did how we're still alive He's getting blown by a gray. We don't have any of that. We don't have that evidence yet. Yeah, okay But we have a new

Article done by the same trio that wrote the original article in December 2017 revealing the existence of a program called a tip Which stands for advanced aerospace threat identification program and reveal the video of what would became known as the white tic-tac video Which shows a I think looking like up like a giant sugar cylinder Kessel remember that bit from last week Flying through the sky and a bunch of pilots going what the fuck is that? But a new article done by the same trio of reporters Helene Cooper Ralph Blumenthal and Leslie Keen Has further revelations of why the US Navy has decided to revamp its entire system Mm-hmm for top for registering sightings with the US government and it's it is just so we are fucking here, bro Oh, you're fucking here. We are in it dude. We are in the middle of it now

Obviously, there are some people who are gonna be skeptical as always. I'm you know, you got to put on your skeptics cap Fucking shoot you in the head. Whoa not. No, it's a bulletproof skeptics I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I shouldn't threaten violence. You can't get through that But it does seem interesting there were some people speculating that this is all Tom DeLong former blink-wanity to singer and And what would the guitar player or something like that? I don't want people to But they're saying Tom DeLong is setting all of this up in order to promote his new show and I'm just Going to say that is a fun idea. It's a fun idea to think that Discovery Channel's rollout would include a full Front-page spread of the New York Times

I wish if only other basic cable channels had that like adult swim Because you know how we because this year for season four you pretty face going to hell We had Pope Francis come out and call me gay Which I thought was really really nice of him to come out and you know He's he's he's roasting me. It's fun. Nothing. I'd love to be gay. No if go. Absolutely. I wish he was correct How'd you put Francis on board? What do you have to what do you have to give that guy in order to do promo for your pretty face? It's going to hell. Let's say I have a hard drive of pictures Blackmail

And there's a lot of black males on those pictures. Oh interesting now what we have here Um with this story is a it is basically testimony from a lieutenant by the name of Ryan Graves Oh, yeah, the pilot for thing called a super hornet. Oh Which looks cool. Yeah, of course. I fucking love all this shit, man Yes, so this dude he was in the Navy for ten years and he's actually here He's here quoted saying These things would be out there all day keeping an aircraft in the air requires significant amount of energy With speeds we observe 12 hours in the air is 11 hours longer than we'd expect

There's a couple of good sources on this that I Listless I was listening to a podcast by Jeremy Corbel who directed the skinwalker ranch documentary that we covered when we did skinwalker Ranchers here with the man by the name of David Fravor who was the one who saw the Nimitz tic-tac-toe UFO event That was the pilot that tracked that UFO. Okay, and he said up. It's what they are seeing is shit all Day long crazy flight. He's like if you spend enough time on the sea He's like essentially I mean besides just seeing shit God knows what you I mean, you know drinking torpedo wine I don't know what they're making in the basins of a submarine. I don't know. I guarantee you There is definitely one guy though whoever was just like hey Rodney

Could you just tuck it again and just walk around just prance a little bit? I don't know what happens I toured one submarine when I was in San Francisco with Brooke and there's not a lot of room to roam around there So I don't know what goes on it makes you horny and that's what happened. Look at my father and shot me out I was one of his fermented seeds in the back of him that made this they made this monkey you see before you But he is saying so basically they're seeing shit all day long Like so this is a part of where they're trying to figure out a way to normalize What the hell it is that they are seeing and to figure out a way to talk to their

Superiors about it because right flavor says that with that white tic-tac When they saw it the first thing it tried to do was it tried to jam their signal and he said that is a that is officially an attack against the US government if you ping a Craft that you don't identify and it does not bring give you a callback you're supposed to go You have to scramble Identify it and essentially quote-unquote help it land one way or another like you're supposed to guide it to near airport To figure out what the hell it's going on or you're supposed to blow it out of the sky

So this thing they track her for a little while and attempted to jam their radar and then it flew away But back to Lieutenant Ryan Graves. He was saying in a fucking a story that is absolutely Compelling he said that he almost hit one of these things while on a test run He said a pilot and his wingman were flying in tandem about a hundred feet apart over the Atlantic East of Virginia Beach when something flew between them and the only way that he could describe it was that it looked like a sphere in casing a cube This thing right between them and he said again. It stops turns on a dime And what seems to be the term that a lot of the got these guys seem to say is that speed doesn't kill you

Stopping does they're like the whole thing is that this it's not me Like you're you can go as fast as you want It's not gonna do anything your body besides the g-forces, right? It's when you stop especially if you stop fucking cold all your guts are gonna splatter all right I just want to cause you I just want to caution everyone out there Maybe you are on a cocaine bender right now do not quote Henry. This is about this is about traveling This is not about the drug because I know for a fact date two of a cocaine binge I'm sure someone's like Henry said the speed doesn't go. It's the stop

They are correct though in the same in the same way Now of course there are some people who are skeptical so just senior astrophysicist Lee and Golub He was quoted in the time saying there's so many other possibilities He's like maybe bugs in the code which is kind of scary to think the Navy has like a bunch of bugs being like Oh, there's a ship over there, but there isn't because they are heavily armed things that I would You see my hand what's it doing? I See what's being at straws. I see straws and of course straws kill turtles So don't grasp at those straws leave the straws alone. I hate this. I know

But he's so he's like that there could be some bugs in the code For imaging or display systems. He's like atmospheric effects and reflections near and then he also says Neurological overload from multiple inputs during high-speed flight. So sure he's explanation is fly you go crazy That there's that and the machines kind of go crazy too because you're flying at a high speed But the thing is it's happening all the time and it's different when you can lock on to it with your targeting mechanisms That's what they're saying is that they're locking on to these things and then they're following them and then shit like this Where Ryan Graves is seeing it with his own fucking eyeballs? I don't know what to say because we actually have a good letter from a marine that I want to cover real quick

That's an immediate that it really dispels exactly what we're talking about Also, I asked the question on last podcast on the left which branch of the military drinks the most It turns out it is the Marines But technically that is the Navy and I'm just gonna put this out there Is it possible these naval pilots are hammered is it possible? I think it would be difficult, but I do appreciate them getting loose before a flight because it's a little difficult out There's a lot of pressure. I know it. It's got to be it's got to be difficult to fly jet-flight So I imagine having a couple under the belt the laws you really have some fun

Well, absolutely and of course if you're you know out there to perform a mission that may rely that may End up in that with the death of tens of people Maybe you want to be a little hammered for it. Well, we got a bunch of like the name is the biggest drunks The marines are the biggest drunks But the one I believe is from a letter from a lady named by goes by the initial K who is a dancer in Hawaii Who says it's definitely the Navy? All right? There it is. We can trust her. I trust her but this letter from the Marines I think kind of spells out a little bit more of the problems with being a pilot and trying to talk about the fact that you almost hit a

Sphere and casing a cube So in the according to n I've seen two UFOs in flight. The first was a white cylinder while out at sea I saw it for maybe 15 seconds hovering above the surface then it dove in the water without a splash So at that point though, I was working for 16 hour days at sea. So I just figured I was seeing shit Okay, the second was while I was doing training in the mountain ranges between San Diego and Los Angeles Flying straight when one of my pilots noticed a big boomerang slash triangle all black shaped object Appearing to fly in the opposite direction at us We figured it was just an Air Force jet or something without lights and that air traffic control had fucked up

We changed our course to avoid hitting it but as we came abreast of it We realized it wasn't flying but hovering and rotating to keep orientated at us It was a bright night and we had night vision goggles on otherwise. We wouldn't have seen it because it had no lights But essentially what he says it's like I never talk about it because it's like you either let it ruin your life and your military career Or you don't I think the same time a person who's willing to put the time and effort into flying for the military Is it willing to throw all that away over the stigma that's associated with UFOs? The world's coolest job that I work regular 14 hour days You can't just give it up because you saw something that it's ultimately inconsequential to you

And I like this term you give his last those last little sentence with Tom cruise given up Smashing Kelly McGinnis and playing shirtless volleyball because he saw something weird for 15 seconds once or twice in his career I don't think so. Of course. That's a top gun. I'm cruise would have though. I love it and top gun I'm gonna say this and this is maybe you know, this is gonna be a classic controversial kissal comment here Hot shot hot shots. I'd rather watch hot shots than of course gun. You know, that is not controversial Really for here for side stories for side stories. That's canon. Oh me. Yeah, I feel top top hot shots as much better than top gun

Top gun is good top guns guy. If you like steamy dudes though Top gun is the most straight-looking movie that really is just to see men with tight buns Oh, yeah, yes. Well and Val Kilmer, of course, he was he was the main character there in Top Gun My buddy got to meet him. He actually signed I think one of the first copies of willow for him, which was pretty awesome But Val Kilmer, he's got the thing in the throat now because he had throat cancer Which is you know, I mean, it's it's a new thing. It's a cool new thing. It's fine. Yeah, it's not bad So we hope that Val's doing all right. He looks okay. I just miss, you know, that's why I've always said this

I don't want my celebrities dead. I want them fat because when they're fat They're happy and they're healthy like big old chunky Val Kilmer It seemed like he was just living his best life and now he's all thin and gaunt They have one good picture of him that I think was memed the hell out of it Which is fat Val Kilmer looking back and smiling. I think you can find it. It's pretty good It's good. Look up fat Val Kilmer smiling and it really is. It's nice to see, you know We were also talking about to it. I forget his name Maybe if Travis can chime in if he remembers his name to lead singer from the cure

Robert Smith is a man that he is really comfortable Yes, what he looks like now. I love it. I love it very good We should all we all need to aspire to be Jack Nicholson eating a sandwich on a yacht with no shirt on and just let her ride. Yes, with the two hot babes. He's covered in fucking mayonnaise. It's the ultimate power move. I fucking love it. It's just ridiculous. Anyway, all right, so back to the story just so just just to close it out Okay, close her out out. We are we are really in the golden age of UFOs right now. Jacques Valet also had Well, he was recently on coast-to-coast. So I do not care. So I'm not gonna try to impress you with this Yes, but I press if I do you remember to remember one thing I've said about Jacques Valet

Jack Valet. Yeah, Jack Valet was the guy. He wasn't either one where he taught you how to work out with just a chair If you're a little bit older, you can actually do you can actually work your tries and I'm gonna jump through the tubes of the internet I'm gonna get into that office. I But Jacques Valet was the one he's the proponent that UFOs are a psychic display He's my favorite one of all of them. Yeah. No, he's a proponent that it's a psychic display. Yes. See look wow He's that you learn But he said recently he was like one cool thing he said that I thought was very interesting We said like because we were talking about why does the Air Force not see as many UFOs as the Navy and it seems that the Navy

Has a lot more opportunities to just be observant and also the US Navy has a 360-degree purview where you're seeing in the ocean you're seeing up Or when you're flying in a plane, and I don't know I don't know if it's true or not. I don't fucking don't know But this is what he's saying and I said that made sense to me Also, we had a lot of people who recently said that we are giving a lot of credence to the US military saying that they're good at observing things people saying well Have you ever actually been a member of the military? Obviously not so I don't really know what a lot of people are saying

You're giving them too much credit, but I'd like to give our boys some credit and our ladies A little bit of people protecting our country a little credit for those people sure Protecting the country not against domestic or foreign threats, but against extraterrestrial threats Honestly, that would be really fun unless the calls coming from inside the house. Oh, and these are things that we are creating I still have a super Theory I have a I have an overarching theory about UFOs of the military that I'm saving for our Rendlesham part two Episodes that I'm like working on how to verbalize all right We'll stick around we are in the begin

We're in the middle of something that is like this is like a culture change that we obviously Have been trained very well by the US governor of the media to not care about Oh, right and though even just his terms even like when we were talking with this when the Marine and his letter was saying that how You're seeing a thing that is of no consequence to you Why would it let it ruin your career which I totally understand for them? Of course for for the rest of us This is like an opportunity if we want to sit and think about how reality is not as Simple as we'd like it to be

All right, there it is. We'll keep you updated on all things UFO related Okay, well here's a story that I really wanted to cover almost as much as Henry wanted it to cover wanted to cover UFOs this is out of Washington a man a man allegedly hiding drugs in his butt Accidentally shoots himself in the testicles So a man who shot himself in the testicles was found to be hiding not Cocaine or crystal methamphetamine or fentanyl. It was marijuana So where is this that he felt the need to eat to smuggle weed in his butthole my understanding is this is in Washington

But I'm also a hundred percent sure Washington has legal wheat. Yeah, so I don't know This man decided to do this. His name was Cameron Jeffrey Wilson He was carrying a gun in his front pocket In Washington state when the firearm accidentally discharged the bullet pierced Wilson's testicles and then went into his thigh Upon arriving at the hospital a doctor was operating on the gunshot wound when a balloon of marijuana slipped out of Wilson's But I think he just wanted to keep it there Please arrived at the hospital and searched Wilson's car where they also found a bag of meth

I think that you should hide the math in your butt You can leave the weed in your car and something to do with it I feel like the meth and something to do with the fact that he felt that he had died I feel bad for this guy. It's subway. It's he's having a rough go So yes, the man's troubles did not end there Wilson he's also a convicted felon was being processed in the shalan shalan County jail. He was strip search and another balloon of marijuana came out of his Bleed and not guilty second-degree felon

It fell in the imposition of a firearm an unlawful possession of math He also pleaded not guilty to possession of a cold of a controlled substance in a correctional facility So there you go. That's just kind of an interesting thing there Good for him man. I mean, so he's in jail now Yes, he is and I do want to say the editor's note at the end of this. I'm on Fox KTV you The editor's note is this story initially reported the man accidentally shot himself in the penis He actually accidentally shot himself in the testicles and that is truth in Journalism that is truth in journalism are the the fourth estate is still strong

In this country the war on journalism hasn't taken out this local Fox affiliate Um, so anyway Cameron Jeffrey Wilson, you know best of luck buddy. I mean, I guess My goodness again, I mean he's uh, I mean I mean he did he might be fucked. He probably is yeah Well, yeah, it's the meth and fat. I mean that is the much higher much higher crime. It's really is truly it's sad You know Because meth from what I've read about meth is that it's not like the It's not like the the way the the people talk about it in the movies or the way you see in commercials Like it's not just like playing heavy metal guitar till four o'clock or I mean it is

But it can be just fucking for five days and like stealing from your grandma's house and like stealing her pancreas Medication and boiling it down and selling it on the street. Whatever that bitch does when she ain't looking. Oh Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what happens grandma. You get got you get got grandma All right. Well, she's a very nice woman and of course when you are on crystal meth I've never done it, but when you do jam out on a playing guitar or whatever until 3 a.m You think you're rocking that anyone who sober is just like there's tearing like like the worst My solo slow Damn, damn I don't own it, slow hand.

No, they said that he, that meth makes you feel super confident. And it's more like, I've got my shit together, I've got this buddy, I've got this. It's like you become an Instagram inspirational post. You become live laugh love when you do methamphetamine. But it just doesn't last. It takes more and more for it to do it

than eventually again, yeah, you're picking, you're eating the scabs off your own face. And you're living underneath a freeway. Yeah, I know. Well anyway, congratulations by the way to anyone. This is kind of a strange thing to segue here, but we have a lot of people who have gone through recovery and congratulations to all.

And I'm sure Henry's description of what that drug is, is not going to entice anyone to do it. So I think we're doing okay, making sure we don't advocate people do crystal methamphetamine. Honestly, I really do, we actually receive a lot of email people who say that they have been going through recovery and I'm sorry that we can't be examples of a sober lifestyle, but I am happy that we are here

to entertain you when you're not feeling so hot. And of course, I mean, at some point we'll join you. We're all getting old. We're going to be told by a doctor. Oh yeah. It's going to be happening. Every one of us is going to, there is going to be a thing that you're going to be told not to do.

I mean, it's obviously the VLs. I think that mine is going to be, I'm going to have to go to some exhaustion or meditation camp. Like I have to go to like a stress fighters university. I should listen to our own ads and get that calm.com bullshit. You should, yeah, you should. I was looking at it and it's like, it is fine,

but the problem is a lot of it's being like, you are calm. Can you feel how calm you are? Meanwhile, it's just me doing it, like cleaning my sniper rifle. And that's not how it's supposed to be done. You should be cleaning your armory while listening to calm.com. No, that's the, yes, Whitman may have been calm as well. I don't know.

He was super calm. If you just checked how fucking in the pocket he was, he was all the way there, but he had a brain tumor. Yes, and there was, and actually that is true when it comes to snipers in the military. My head, my head, all that shit. I think we covered that on our spree killers episodes like fucking six years ago.

I'm pretty sure we actually have a spree killer here story in a second, but that is true with snipers. You do have to really calm your, slow your heart rate down. I don't know how they can do it cause I would be quite nervous. And then you can, then you're, then you're able to hit the target. I feel like you gotta be a type of person.

You have to be a type of person and be a sniper rifle guy, be a sniper. Hey, if we got any snipers, please send us emails about your fucking most premium kills. That'd be kind of sweet, but obviously that's also, it's a lot, it's a lot for our listeners. Sometimes they don't like to brag about their kills, Henry, because they maybe, maybe didn't get into the military

to just do that. No, but this is, I'm farming our listeners for the best stories. And for me, I just got, I sat and watched all three John Wicks on Sunday. Like I went through that, I went to go see John Wick and man, he just wants me to get a fucking suit, man. I want to get a suit and just do the,

cause Keanu Reeves also knows how to hold the gun. You keep the elbows in, man. It's like, he's sweet dude. Keanu Reeves fucking killer in that movie, man. I just watched the first John Wick for the first time ever. And I didn't realize, the whole, the whole revenge theme, they just, I don't know, this is a spoiler, but I think the movie is eight years old.

They killed his dog and then he just murdered a bunch of security guards that are like, I'm, you just came into my bar and start shooting it up. I'm not even a bad guy. I love dogs. I have a dog. And he's just like, pop, pop, pop. And that is, it was great.

The whole movie was the revengeest dog. I love it. I mean, I love it. It's the best, I felt the same way. Well, I sat watching it with Wendy and Wendy was like next to me. And I remember just like, I was petting her and being like, Wendy, if anybody ever hurts you,

your father's going to do the same thing. He's going to go and systematically destroy every single one of them and every one that they're connected to. Yes. And she just looked at me and she knew. Oh, you think so? Oh, she knew.

Great, yeah. That's why I'm going to get the ones I got my crossbow in. Ones I could get a solid crossbow sponsorship for the podcast so we can get a discount because they're too grand a piece. And that says that I have to, we need to have more area for me to have the crossbow. Yeah, I think a backyard, some land might be good

so you could shoot it as opposed to just attacking the slime that's in your neighborhood with a crossbow. This is really, I mean, this neighborhood watch phase you're going through could end in total destruction. It's going to end how it's supposed to end. Unfortunately, no matter what, that is the truth. But I want to do a quick update. Yeah, let's do it.

I was completely correct. The crossbow murders were a part of a cult activity. It turns out there's not a lot of information out about it yet. Well, let's go through a little bit. Can we remind the audience what happened with this crossbow murder? So it was three total people that died, right?

And it was a person, five total people. So three people in a hotel room, two died of crossbow shots to the head and chest and one with a self-inflicted crossbow bolt murder and then two in a one of the women because it was a man named Torsten W, 53, holding hands with a woman named Kerstin E. They were both impaled with arrows lying on a bed

and the woman Farina C that was accompanying them was found on the floor of the room and she had shot herself in the chest with a crossbow, which is very intense. And then in Farina's apartment, they found two other people dead, which then they're not sure how they died yet that it's not been released.

But apparently it turns out Torsten truly was a ringleader, so form of cult leader and that they said that when they arrived, his tone, the way they said it, apparently the person that was the, who worked at the hotel that they were staying at, because they did it, they did these murders at a lovely little Airbnb, when they arrived apparently,

according to Alexander Kruger, Zeva almost submissive. This is the two women with Torsten. I had the impression since they are hardly allowed to talk to me, his tone was so harsh, strikingly harsh, not severe you talk to anyone. It was a short, imperative sentences. And so all this shit is now kind of rollin' out and then Rolling Stone very fondly says,

but in the meantime, we're gonna need a podcast about these sorts of shit, which makes me wanna shoot myself in the head with a crossbow. Whoa, all right, Rolling Stone, coming back, aren't they? All right, well, there you go, a little update on the crossbow story. Let's see.

I mean, there's really nothing else. It just seems to be, it was all within Torsten's medieval weapon shop, because remember we said that we had a medieval's weapon shop, which is also, if you see the pictures of the inside of it, it's pretty, pretty wonderful. It is, it's just like various crossbows put on the walls, a couple of Rosicrucian style flags

with the Rosicrucian cross on them, and then several lady mannequins with blood splattered all over them. A weird 12-year-old's dream, I guess. Honestly, think about this, he had two women, he was a master of women. I don't think, I like women to be free. I want my women to be free.

I want them to make their choices, yes. Yeah, I think that's the way to go. By the way, at some point, we should do a little Nexium update, because the stories coming out from that trial are really disgusting. Keith Reneard does, you know, I don't, I'm just gonna say, maybe he didn't have the best interest

of the people in mind. What? I know, I know. So what we have next is, who are we gonna call him? Like, we're gonna vaguely celebrate this person. I don't know if we should. No, I'm not sure.

Yeah, we usually do Hero of the Week, and that person really, truly is a hero. This week, we're going at problematic Hero of the Week. So this dude, he is a, he, so this man says an intruder broke into his house. Now, what usually happens, they steal stuff, maybe hurt you. This dude evidently just cleaned the man's house and left.

So a Boston area man came home from work with his son to find something amiss. He thought that maybe they had been robbed, but upon further inspection, he discovered that nothing was missing, and his home was sparkling clean. Nate Roman, it's pretty crazy. Nate Roman lives in a single family home

in Marlboro, Massachusetts. Roman told CNN he left work in the morning on May 15th and came home from picking up his son to find the door was unlocked. This is a quote, he says, my son said, dad, dad, the door is unlocked, which I have done once every blue moon and didn't think about, and didn't think anything about it.

But when we walked in immediately, there was a vibe that something was wrong in the house. He realized that someone may have been in the home because a door he normally keeps open was firmly shut. Roman then went upstairs to check the rest of the house. He discovered his son's room, which was a wreck when they left in the morning, was neat as a pin.

He found his room in the same pristine condition. The rugs were vacuumed, everything was neat and put away. So naturally he immediately called police. What do you think about this? Because it is kind of funny that the home invader went in there and was like, I'm not gonna steal from these people. Look how messy they are.

They obviously need some help. It is highly problematic. I would say it's close to gang stalking. In a way, I don't know what this is. In my mind, first thing that keys up, and it's not just because it's early and I'm horny, it is because I view this as a vaguely sexual act. You think so?

Yes, because it is coming to someone's home. It's taking total control of their home. Without them knowing it, it's coming in and almost BTK-like, viewing yourself as superior to these people, cleaning their home and then leaving. So no signs of burglary, nothing was stolen? No signs of burglary, there's no suspects.

This is according to Roman again, the man whose house was cleaned. No crime happened, nothing was missing or damaged, so the police have very little to go on. Also, the dude's security system was not set so cameras would be activated when the alarm goes off, so they didn't get any pictures of the intruder. The timestamp on the door sensors indicated

that whoever was in their house stayed there for about 90 minutes. See, that to me is creepy. That's a part of me that is, that to me is insanely frightening. I think that that's the part that kind of makes my skin crawl the most. Really?

Because most, because I was watching, I love those, where I watched a burglar talk about, like a professional, a professional burglar, talk about his strategies and how you can avoid having your home burgled. And he basically said, the goal, he's like, my goal is to be in there for three minutes. He's like, anytime longer than that, I'm fucked.

He's like, I'm trying to come in, I'm trying to get the shit, I'm trying to leave. And it's really the people who linger because imagine what's going through this person's head. They're walking through your house. They're imagining sitting and watching television with you and your family. They're looking at all your pictures.

They're looking through your kitchen. They're looking at all this. They're looking through your trash. They're looking through your bathroom. These are all this kind of stuff. There's something about this that's so personally violent. Right. Past just where robbing you.

Well, honestly, Henry. It's vaguely frightening, but again, I hate to claim. This last, I do too. This last detail might prove your point about this being a sexual thing. And this is certainly the creepiest part of all of this. Again, he was in there for 90 minutes. How long does it take to clean a bedroom?

You know, maybe 30 minutes, two bedrooms, 60 minutes. Well, he also spent time making roses out of toilet paper. And he left those in the bathroom. The detail that made him realize that was probably the work of a professional. His theory is that a cleaning service came to the wrong address, but his kitchen was untouched,

which makes him second guess his suspicion. Is that possible? I think that it's completely impossible. You don't think so? Absolutely. Absolutely not. I don't, no one comes, if it's vague, I guess you could be so scared of your bosses

or so scared of people that would hire you to come over to their house. Like, I could see why, I guess maybe you would, like, work clean anyway, even though nobody was there to let you in and you didn't have keys. And it's obviously not the address and they weren't ready for anybody to be home.

And normally there's like a text or something being like, hey, we're gonna be in this house. Like, are you home? Like, we're about to start? There's like something like that? I don't know. Right, well, I will say that the owner-

They're just trying to make themselves not scream. The owner of this house is taking everything in stride. He said he's moving past the ordeal, but he did keep a toilet paper rose as a souvenir. Oh, I get rid of it. You fucking creep. What's wrong with you? That's why I'm saying problematic hero of the week

because no, like, everyone is just like, huh, that's kind of interesting, isn't it? So hopefully this is not a sign of something much worse and hopefully it is just maybe someone on crystal meth who cleaned his house so well. He said, you know what? I've got the gift of cleaning in stride right now. I gotta fucking do this again.

I gotta clean it again. All right, so that is this week's problematic hero of the week. Let's see here. So we got a wrapper up. Again, thanks for everyone that I saw there in Vegas this weekend. Cannot wait, Vancouver, Seattle, Portland, to come out and hang out with us.

We get so lonely on the road. So it's gonna be a lot of fun. So lonely and cold on the road. So I would come and please wash me feet, come and wash me feet. And remember, Vancouver, if you have the VIP ticket, Kissel's gonna give you a little kiss. He's gonna give you a little Joe Biden.

I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna give Joe Biden. He's gonna kiss you a little back of your ears and tell you how smart you look. Why are you doing that to me? Because this is what they paid for. This is what the people paid for, Kissel. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

Oh, and I wanna remind people, and I'm gonna put it in another post about this. We're having a Relax Fit, last podcast on the left this week, Incentive Rental, shim part two. I just wanna put this out there, full transparency. We are gonna try not to drop these Relax Fits in the middle of series anymore.

Like, we don't really wanna do that. But unfortunately, because of the timing of the ending of the book, we need this time for Marcus's brain to finish the book. We're literally finishing the second edit of the book. So we are, these Relax Fit episodes are purposefully positioned in the schedule so that Marcus can.

But once this is done, we will not be dropping a Relax Fit in the middle of a series ever again. That's a part of our, because we don't like ruining the timing. And also, I don't like you having the way for the conclusion of Rental, shim. And I can't wait to talk about it,

because I have a lot of bullshit that I am ready for to talk about this series. Because this is when it really gets silly. Yes, awesome. Okay, yes, absolutely guys. And you know, so everything, you know. You know what? We're just trying to do the best we possibly can.

And yeah, as Henry said, this book, it's in its, we're in the third trimester. We're nine months in. It's just, it's gotta be delivered at some point in the very near future. So. It has to be. And you're gonna love it.

Honestly, the book is so good. Marcus found a way to make me read a book because I had to read every single chapter. And you're angry that made me. But it truly is a phenomenal book. And so you guys are just gonna absolutely love it. And it says in depth, as you would hope. Because I had my book idea.

You know, that, what my book idea was the fronts and butts of serial killers. We were in pictures of the front. Sticks and butts pictures. Yes, and then we would make jokes. Yeah, but maybe that's our next book, the fronts and butts of serial killers. But all right, everyone.

So thank you all so much for your support. We will keep on trucking and you do as well. All right, I think you have to say your triple L thing at this point. Otherwise, we're not gonna be able to end the show. Sometimes I do, sometimes. But you know what I'm gonna say? I'm gonna say triple L, live it, love it, love it,

laugh it, live it, love it. Get it, got it. That's a quad, it's a six-tuplet L, I think. Six-tuplet L today. Wow, my, well you know what, my serotonin levels are so shot with my trip to Las Vegas. I needed that little sucks, sex-tuplet triple L.

Sucks-tuplet. Sucks-tu, oh my, my back in the back is what's going on here. I think it's what's going on here. Remember to say, what was his name, the Osh Fritzel? Fritzel. That's called pulling a Fritzel when you have sex with your own family to make another. Joseph Fritzel, did we ever cover Joseph Fritzel?

Have we covered him? We did. A long time ago, we did a sex-sunshins episode. Oh, that guy was nasty. No, we still haven't. One day we'll do a full, ugh, I'm gonna say deep dive. No, no, that was, that dude, well anyway, you can just do a wiki deep dive on Fritzel

and you'll, you'll feel gross. I'm all right, everyone. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Magus de lesions. Hail me. Are you dying? Oh.

There it is. See everyone on the road this weekend, can't wait. Hopefully Henry's still alive. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.