Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Gypsy Rose Pregnant!

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news starting with a slew of updates and THEN - The boys congratulate Gypsy Rose Blanchard on her pregnancy announcement, Warp Drive goes from Sci-Fi to Reality, Cognify and the concept of Experimental Memory Therapy, 100 dead lobsters mysteriously appear on the side of the road in Canada, LaLaurie Mansion back on the market, Listener E-Mails, and MORE!

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Kokaios will have you immediately energized upon emerging from the pain coaca with all your slippery new eggs Thanks, honey Thanks, honey. Hot, hot, I'm cold-blooded. Mmm. Egg's a Spring Hill Jack and last hot gas on the left. I'm ready to get out there and eat some babies. Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton. There's no place to escape to.

This is the last hot gas on the left. Science stories? Yes, I love your glaze. There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. Side stories? Yeah, you're a bunch of little glades. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh, wow, yeah!

All right, I'm happy today. Why are you happy? I'm happy today. What happened to you? Right before the show, you were with me. were with me. I figured out a loophole. It's called the PP loophole. The Peehole loophole. Peehole loophole? The Peehole loophole. Which is I realized, so we were going to maybe cover the story. We're not going to cover it in the main episode of the show. There's a cold open. What's the way we like doing this? That a guy ruined $511

worth of sandwiches by pissing all over him. but the way he got the manager in a bind is that at no point Did they see him take his penis out of his pants to urinate upon a cooler of sandwiches? Okay, so what he because what he did now this guy obviously he was a rascal in a rascal All right because he had a motorized wheelchair and he got out of the wheelchair and propped himself up against this Cooler of of sandwiches and I guess he did have to go to the bathroom and then but he did decide he wanted that urine To go upon the sandwiches So what he did was George Washington the foot of the boat heading across the Delaware style

Yeah, put the foot up on top of the cooler where the sandwiches were wearing shorts pants He let the piss flow from his pee hole through the pants legally around the leg into the sandwiches ruin the sandwiches or the destruction of property, but It's completely legal to piss your pants. Yeah, it is not indecent exposure if you piss inside of your pants So you can leave there have an art time figuring out what the what the issue is He says he's offering to pay for the sandwiches, which is also like something else He shouldn't because that means then he's saying he's his pissing but I do if I was his lawyer and say don't offer that

But I'm not his lawyer. I'm a comedian. I like hearing about the piss right? So I don't care Yeah, I don't care about the outcome of the trial. I you know think that art first of all I think everything you're saying is flawed. No. I you are wrong you can You can go in front of a police officer I I'm not saying you can't and you can pee in your pants. Yeah, and he I'm saying he I don't mean to Mm-hmm. They can't arrest you. Okay. Yeah. Because you're just pissed in your pants. But you have a bunch of fucking piss in your pants.

But you won. So how are you winning? You beat the police officer. What do you mean, like you beat him? No! You pissed in front of him. Yeah. But you, no, I'm talking about the law. You beat the courts.

Yeah. You're better than the country. You're Teflon. But you have piss in your pants. That's how you Yeah. You're better than the country. You're Teflon, but you have piss in your pants. That's how you, and you're going to get a rash. That's how you win. That's not winning a W is a W. That's not a W. Sometimes you got to take out the other guy for you to win goal to tell the police officer. You can't arrest me, but for what? Because I can openly pee, not inside of a bathroom. You can't openly pee.

You're peeing in your pants. But I'm openly- That's not openly peeing. The pee is not open. Yeah. The action is. Yeah, but you're fucking got a crotch that's covered in your own piss.

Not unless I wear wet pants. Welcome to Side Stories. My name's Henry Zabrowski. You're wrong! I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. No, Side Stories- So what, you wanna go around with piss in your pants? Side Stories, lpotl.gmail.com. pants welcome to side stories my name is Henry Zabrowski and Larson no side stories side stories LP o TL a gmail.com it's already wet that just means they're wet more with pants but you can't be arrested who cares I'm just saying it's

a way to legally pee outside if you want to I'm just saying do it in your backyard oh but that requires a backyard you you want to. I'm just saying there's- Do it in your backyard. But that requires a backyard. You're being classist. I'm saying that you can go and you can piss in your pants for free and be free anywhere in this country. I do wanna know. I'd say you're a prisoner of your own piss if you do that.

But it's your piss. Yeah. And it doesn't mean it's great, Henry. Do you think you have good piss? No I got bad piss But it's mine. It's my choice. Like this is my country Yeah, and I'll do whatever I want to my country now if you made a little hole That's a public urination. Yeah, how about side stories LP o TL a gmail.com?

I'm looking for police officer to answer this question. We used to do a thing we call take it a knee Where's oh, yeah, we're wearing a basketball short Yeah, yeah, sure kind of pee out the bottom of them and no one you don't have to actually take your dick out But guess what you don't have to do at all any of this because I also think that with shorts something that you could probably Do is I but this is just me, is creating a sort of pee friendly environment for the inside of your pants. We're gonna get to other stories.

But we're not done here. That I think that if you did have basketball shorts on, you could, and this is again about technique, is that if you stick your hand in your pockets and you pull the shorts out so they're stretched, you could probably angle your penis so that you can pee out of the shorts without getting it on any of the fabric

Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. But that is expert level. Yeah, that's what we used to do. That makes sense I'm just trying to pee in front of a police officer and say you can't arrest you might as well wear a diaper I might as more practical. I might as well, but you said you don't like the crinkle. I don't So you'd rather walk around with piss in your pants and wear a diaper? Yeah, because a diaper means I'm a baby. Piss-filled pants mean I'm a man who made choices of my own. I don't know if you did. A lot of people just pee because they're sick, which I see in your future.

Those are losers. I'm a winner. All right? Sidenstories LPOTL at gml.com. I'd like to find out. What are they answering? If it is legal to pee in your pants in front of a police officer.

Of course it is. I don't, well, to be completely honest, I don't know if it is. I'm just saying I think that it should be. Why? Oh my God, if I have an accident, in front of a cop and he beats me and cuffs me. I mean, I would applaud.

If I was watching it happening, I'd think it'd be hilarious. But I also know that that's maybe not cool. No. Biden gets my vote that that's maybe not cool. No. Biden gets my vote if he signs my executive order. This is the only way he gets my vote. And I don't think he needs to be making pee in your pants orders right now. I need, I need. That's the worst thing he could do.

I need closure. If you want me on your team, if you want me riding with Biden, sucking dick for Jill, you need me, buddy. All right. Yeah. California has no specific law making public urination a crime, but they do use other charges.

Again, that's about a national law. It's about whipping out your dick. Yes. But you have to be careful with that. All right, everyone's worried about Biden's age. He shows up and he's like, I'm gonna make peeing on your pants legal. It's a bad idea.

All right. I think that everything you're saying is more than flawed. I'm just the host of this show and I have a captive audience of millions. So it doesn't really matter. You know what I mean, man? Oh God, yeah, Biden's not gonna do it. Biden doesn't want my vote

Guess I'm right in Jill Stein again working on some new legislation It's about being able to pee in your pants and no one judge you for it And you just see me just like one standing up like a Norman Rockwell painting of the guy who went to the town hall meeting just like yes, that is my President your crotch Yes, that is my president Flies Thank you, sir Finally a great American mr. Biden stick a gun in my mouth blow my brains out. Oh, no He don't one man the law was for Oh no, the one man the law was for. I would tell you about the time I was on the subway and I saw a guy pee in his pants and

then he was peeing so hard that the pee just started like shooting out of his pants. That's a crime. Is it? Saw the pee. Let's get to some news stories. That's a good stream. Having a good stream is not a crime. Well, I want to hear from our police officers, listeners.

I love when I'm standing next to someone with the urinal and I can tell they got a weak stream. Oh yeah, he's fucking raw. Boom! My just rocked it. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. Yeah, dude. I'll fucking, I'll pee the shit out of this pee.

My, since I started on blood thinners, my piss stream is thicker. Yeah. So for that, I'm thankful. I've started taking vitamin B just so my pee could be more yellow. And it's been great, by the way. Hey.

It's been a lot of fun. This is what 40 plus year old white men do in order to not become mega. yellow and it's been great by the way. It's been a lot of fun. This is what 40 plus year old white men do in order to not become mega. Okay? This is just what they do. Alright, so you need to allow him to do this. My pee was too clear, fucking hopped up on vitamin B. Make it orange.

Nothing's like it. It's like because it's fun. It's something new. It's something else. Alright. Truth is I didn't know why my pee was getting so yellow and I did some investigating and it was the vitamin B I didn't think it was real All right, here we go

Couple things number one found out what a mistrial is so they do have to start from the very top So Karen Reed they're doing the whole thing all over again. Nothing else has really come out of it We know that the head investigator from the story that the one that was investigating the her actual like what happened He's been either Sorta like fired but like cop version of fired where you think it's like a priest But I believe he's getting job somewhere else they're like they're just moving them Okay, get him in out So well, we will cover that case again when it comes back up. But for now Karen Reed, it's a free woman and very attractive

So you never know she does need to need somebody hold on to now what I did here see Because we do know one previous person under a lot of scrutiny is you know She took the law into her hands like you're suggesting. They can call her Karen Pede. Wow. See? Biden? Are you listening?

Are you listening? Are you listening? Are you my son? You know, we were talking about before. It'd be crazy if he had tried to fuck Hunter. Yeah, if he tried to fuck Hunter, that'd be wild. Kind of fun. Of course. Well, I don't think it's fun when a father tries to fuck their son. Yeah, if you tried to fuck Hunter that'd be wild. Kind of fun. Well, I don't think it's fun when a father tries to fuck their son personally. I don't find that fun.

Again, it's just something, anything but bore me. Yeah, no, it's definitely exciting. Well, the other guy tried to fuck his daughter, so that's fine. That's fine. That's what we got. That's why we have him involved. Now, this next one is that one of my favorites, favorite of the show, friend of the show, she hasn't gotten back to us in a minute, but we want to say congratulations, Gypsy Rose Blanchard. She's pregnant with, I believe, is five Rottweilers. No, no, that is not true.

Gypsy Rose Blanchard is pregnant. She's expecting a first baby with her very lucky boyfriend, Ken Urker. Now, we know this because she posted an extremely, I mean, like, we're only following this. I mean, fuck her. This is our version of page seven, by the way. This is our page seven.

And so she put up, he's a fucker, I don't know. I just feel like it's very, she is being a very Very extra recently. Yeah, she posted a thing on Instagram She is very public with Instagram as we know for those of you that don't remember gypsy rose Blanchard She was recently released from jail for it basically being an accessory of murder to her own mother where she Convinced a and essentially seduced someone from inside of a horrible scenario where she was being treated like a sick child by her mother in a Munchausen by proxy type scenario. We now know that I believe that it's now called like facetious symptoms disease, whatever the new term for it is. But the idea that the mother was obsessed with keeping her sick and young and they got a lot of money from stuff like, videos. All, everything. Every single type of charity they got money for,

they got a home given to them, they got all this type of stuff. And so Gypsy Rose Blanchard, she was in jail for a period of time because she worked with a young man that she had met over Facebook, where she essentially convinced him to help her kill her mother.

He did, and now she's out of jail. So she was originally, she had a guy she was with in jail Now the reason why we are big fat man big fat guy looks to say ha well. I mean, it's true I'm big fat man. Yeah, I'm allowed to say it. It's just that she was nice She she did not have a much of a childhood and she wasn't around a lot of social media So now she's really into it and so she posted a thing which is sad She came out with this guy and then she said then she

got back with the first boyfriend she had in jail Ken Urker that is now the father to her child but she posted an Instagram where she posted a picture with her with her first dude that she got out of jail with saying first you have to kiss a couple of frogs and then came went over to Ken Urker in the same picture yeah to get your prints yeah I was like, dude, I mean, you know, like the guys are already fucking missing you gypsy. Yeah. And he was already missing through prison. So it was Ken Urker. And so were several women because she also had many lesbians experiences in jail as well. She said, I think it's fucked up. It is. I'd say honestly, it's fucked up. He had a food hoarding problem, which is why

she didn't want to be with the first guy., which is why she didn't wanna be with the first guy, and that's why she was gonna be with the second guy, but she's putting him on blast, and I just feel like Gypsy Rose Blanchard needs to just understand that fucking lens comes around many different ways, because her first husband, he's missing her heart. All right, he's missing her heart,

and he wants you back, Gypsy. And I want you, if I could get her, who was her first husband? Ryan. Ryan. I'd like to invite I could get her, who was her first husband? Ryan. Ryan. I'd like to invite Ryan onto the show. And I want to get Gypsy onto the show. And I want to hash it out.

And I want to get them back together. So if I can get any representatives of Gypsy Rose Blanchard, or her former husband, or her new husband, to email sidestore is LPOTL at gmail.com. I would like to give my marriage advice to Gypsy rose blanchard because i obviously of all of our marriages i'm the best at it but is Ryan still married to her no they got divorced they got divorced they did get divorced. Yes. I know they split riot anderson He's out there. He's like he's doing his talk as jericho is hanging out with jericho. He got in a meeting

Yeah, that's pretty good, but he only got that through gypsy. He's looking super sad. I'm feeling for him, man. Look at him. He's so sad and all these, he seems like a nice guy. It seems like a dude who's available and if someone was smart enough, they'd pick them up. I actually think he's all fucking capital W weirdo, but I think that that's fine. Yeah. Yeah. I think that same thing, the other guy, but it is sad because he's doing the he's turning into one of my Instagram goblins Oh, you like very very follow him. I follow all of this. Oh, okay. Yeah, I love all of this I only talk about it or learn about it right before this show. No, no, no, no, I'm deeply involved I walk I got my finsta where I post my b-hole pics for Russian prison guys in Russian prison

Oh, yeah, that's a hole and outreach Helping them defect because my whole thing is being like you want this Ukrainian hole you need to come for this Ukrainian hole You know I mean, and they're like oh my god. You're right. This war is wrong So I've been doing my part that's nice in that way But then I use that account to sort of follow people that I don't want them to know that the illustrious comedian, Henry Zaprosky has now entered the room. When they, when I follow people like this, everybody scrambles. And that's Dr. Fantasty. Yes. Yes. Everybody scrambles. They just are so, they can't believe I'm there. But Gypsy Rose, again, we're looking forward to using you pulled up a registry. Yeah. She

has a share her baby registry. Where is it? Um, well, Daily Mail has found, um, inside gypsy Rhodes Blanchard's very pricey baby registry. It is. I tell you what, you know, what's nice about her. She did. She knows her worth. Yeah. Well, she is estimated to be worth $3 million. What? How? How? Who would give her this?

I think maybe she sold TV rights or something like that. Yeah, there's no way that. That was a lump sum she got at some point. Yeah, I don't think she still has $3 million. Because yeah, the Discovery Plus show is not paying her $3 million. Also, yeah, a lot of these things where you go to someone's net worth.

Oh, yeah, it's all fake. It's all fake. Mine said $3 million. I was like, where is that version of someone's net worth. Oh yeah, it's all fake. It's all like mindset, like 3 million. I was like, where's that version of me? Yeah. Her involvement in documentaries, book deals, and talking about her experiences. Yeah.

And then she got chunk. She got social media money. That's a chunk of social media money. Yeah. All right, that makes sense. Yeah, because she's got 5 million followers on Instagram. Never mind. That does make sense.

Yeah, but she's asking for a $600 stroller, a $400 bassinet. Ooh, a bassinet and a stroller. Can't you just get a bucket? Yeah, I know. A bassinet, I mean, you can get a cheaper one. What are bassinets? It's like, kind of like a, it's not a crit, it's like you put your baby in and it kind of bounces up and down.

Oh, that's a bouncy table. Yeah, but it looks more nice. It's got lace over it or something. They just attached budget cords to my diaper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you should jump up and down, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got lace over it or something. They just attached budget cords to my diaper. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they used to jump up and down. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It rocks. So yeah, this is on Ashley. You can get one for $149. It seems like a steal. Yeah. The most expensive item on our registry is a $600 Chico modular travel system. Oh yeah. They do.

Travel systems do cost money. Yeah. I did get one for Craig Rowan when he had his child. You spent $600? No. never. No, a thousand three hundred and twenty dollar monitor. That's a walkie talkie. Yeah, I mean, if you want a good one, a good monitor.

Crazy, I think they're just trying to make a daily mail loves to fucking. They are pumping it up. Yeah, they're pieces of shit. I think a baby monitor for three twenty is actually quite a lot of money. But you think so? I mean, it's got a little TV screen on it. I mean, they all are supposed to have a fucking TV screen on it. Yeah, exactly. Cause how else are you going to see the baby? How else are you going to see the ghost stealing your baby's soul as it's sleeping?

Yeah. Well, this is multiple bassinets. This is $400. Yeah. She, I told you she's having five Rottweilers and it is amazing. Uh, and I just, I can't wait for her. Oh, and the Grogu baby. That's a lot of Grogu stuff. fan of the grogu can't fuck him. No, make sure he knows that Can't fuck him. We learned that your bill Belichick though will still fuck this child

He may use the force but you can't bill Belichick is having sex with the lady version of grogu, you know, I is having sex with the lady version of Grogu. You know, I'm hearing you. I hear you. I'm just sorry, I just accidentally had the pictures of Bill Belichick with his new girlfriend up next to it, and it does look like a man who is stealing the soul of a child. Well, may the consent be with her.

She is loving life, man. You just got a foo, man. It's still better than Anthony Kiedis to me for some reason. What's worse, Bill Belichick or Anthony Kiedis? Bill Belichick, only just because Anthony Kiedis is technically a rock star. Yeah, he's kind of cool. And he's got a huge cock, even though he wears the stupid Charlie Chaplin hat. Oh.

But then his father, yeah, who's a weird guy. Bill Belichick, it's just the idea. Yeah, there's nothing cool about him. The idea of- Even though he won six Super Bowls, who's weird guy Bill Belichick. Yeah, just the idea cool about him Yeah, I do know he won six Super Bowls. He's still like a fucking asshole. Just the concept of like I can imagine I'm sorry. What happened kissing Anthony Keaton's like I can imagine a kiss from Anthony Keaton's being exciting I just been like, oh my god, you know, I didn't like so much the last couple albums but I remember the old ones like that like that's cool I'm sure she likes the new ones and that's the problem yes but then Bill Belichick can you just imagine what it'd be like him slow you're

laying in there like oh you're laying there and when you were coaching the Browns he's there and he's just like lifting up. He's like, you know Tom Tom never looked like this. She's like looking at her vagina being like Tom and I never did anything like this Tom Always had to be in control. He's a horny dog though Remember during the season when he got caught on that ring camera leaving like in the middle of the football season He was leaving some ladies house. See like a one night stand who, don't bellacheck. You know, I may be wrong. This is what we were talking about before the show. It's true. I just, maybe I'm wrong. He could have an on almost I'm not. And again, this is not to connect to the crimes, but an Epstein like

sex drive. If he does have something like that, where he's got to get his fucking his junk Squirted three times a day then maybe that makes sense, but it does look like he looks like he is outside with his nurse Which is good. I guess good for him and also baby monitors are that expensive. So that's really fucked up. Um, alright, well I Know what? I think you owe gypsy a present from all the time you talked about her. I owe her a present if she comes to this studio. If Gypsy Rose Blanchard comes to this studio. You're going to give her the address? Yes. Yeah!

Oh 72 to 24. That is like the same difference as Anthony Kiedis and his girlfriend. It is, but one is Anthony Kiedis and one is the former coach of the Patriots. You know what I mean? It's different. Anthony Kiedis' friends are cooler. You can go do fun things. I'm looking at them frowning

at the Nantucket July 4th parade, Bill Belichick and his child. It's just the saddest, weirdest thing. He just looks like he can't find the ice cream store. Wow. Do you think he got this chick after the roast? I think that, yeah, I think that she just... You think the roast like helped him land her?

Does she need our way out? Two weeks ago was the first time they've been seen out together. Dude, the roast did this. Yeah. Yup. Bumped him up. Netflix. Wow.

Netflix did this. Wow. You know who did this? Tom Segura. Brought this to him. Unbelievable. Disgusting. That that would happen. Is he older than her father? He must be. I think her father is probably dead. I think that is her father. Giving him to her. Giving her to him.

He's so excited. He's got to be a patriot today. Oh yeah. He's just like so old. The flight gate was a piece of shit. Right? You know what I mean? I'd let Don Shula fuck my daughter. I Know he's dead and I don't have a daughter. Yeah, but Now that we're talking about it and they're really like feeling it out I'm not letting anybody fuck my fake daughter really nobody No, that seems worse. Nobody fucks my daughter. All right, I don't care I have a fake daughter, but guess what? She's gonna live to the fake age of 15. What about Wes Craven? Would you let him fuck your fake daughter? Yeah, actually, yeah.

That fast? Yeah. We've talked about nothing. All right, let's get into this next thing. We were not supposed to talk about going to this side world, but it's hard. One thing I have learned from my reading of this week was that don't hold in your fucking sneeze. No. So that was one of those science things. I did not believe.

So here comes, this is a listener letter. My father-in-law once held a sneeze in at a school play because he didn't want to be disruptive. Later the day he started getting a sensation like quote, a black curtain was passing over his vision. He called his optometrist and was rushed into an emergency operation. It turns out the pressure from holding in his sneeze caused his retinas to detach from the rest of his eyeballs.

Wow. He had to have hollow needles inserted into his pupils and they filled his eyes with air in order to reattach his pupils Don't hold in your sneeze Don't hold in your sneezes number two after mentioning the guy who sneezed his own guts out I wanted to mention my dad's story. He held it is so he's a dad. It's all dads. No, it's weird I feel like Julie and I were talking about this the other day Almost everyone I've known that's died has been a dude. Oh, it's all dudes. It's all dudes. Believe me, buddy. It is all dudes and it all happens in wild, fun, new ways.

Fly from your grave. All right, so this other guy yelled in a sneeze and a few hours later he got a brutal headache. Like most old guys, he didn't go to the doctor, but it got so bad My mom took him to urgent care when they immediately rushed him to the ICU at a local hospital where they specialize in strokes and aneurysms Basically his doctor said that brain aneurysms are like getting a hemorrhoid in your brain But when it eventually pops you drop dead They did laparoscopic surgery to put an implant in his brain to stop it from popping and after a week heavily sedated He was Gucci. All right. So don't stay. Don't stay. You must stay. Yeah. You've got to stay. Also big note from the surgeons. I asked last week about bringing your own

kidney to an emergency room for two in order to get it replaced inside of you because you need one. And I said, it actually sounds like a really good idea to be like, okay, go and get your own kidney. They don't ask a lot of questions. It turns out that was incorrect. Yeah. And that they really have like many questions. Yeah.

And they, a lot of rules and you can't just show up with a cooler full of organs. They're not going to do anything and they're probably going to call the police. So yeah. Did you see the lady who got a pig kidney died? Yeah, Lisa Pizzano of New Jersey You know, I mean she was praised for her decision. We all we all are you know to try it out Thank you for trying to see if you could have a piggy inside you and live. She was We've been doing them for a while. We've had baboon hearts in people. I know they'll pig organs.

They are trying to, because we do, we say apparently like we do generate very similar organs, but she did. Yeah. I mean, she was older. I love the picture they use of hers. Just like playing, angry birds. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing, no picture of her with her family or like after surgery. Yeah.

Just a picture of her looking at her or like after surgery, yeah, just a picture of her looking at her fucking phone. That is really very sad. It says here she's looking at pictures of her dog. Which, she's showing the nurse's pictures of her dog. So that's nice. You're like, oh great. How about pictures of the fucking pig?

Fucking saved her life. He's dead. He's fucking dead. Three months though. He's fucking, I ate him. I know, I think it's huge. Three months on a pig kidney. I think that's huge. So I think we're getting there know what we need to do start getting these pigs

Hammered get their kidneys used to pumping booze through and then that we can start putting them in season them like a cast-iron skillet Yeah, where we want them to get them used to how we are going to treat them So we give them like they need to eat Bacon, yeah and olive oil a pound olive oil They need to eat bacon. Olive oil. Yeah, and olive oil, pound olive oil. You gotta pound the pigs, fill them with olive oil, see how those work.

And booze, you're right, and blow some weed in his face. Yo, for sure. So it works, but it don't work. It doesn't, yes, not yet, but soon. Much like warp drives. This isn't the first time it happened. This is not, but, oh, so warp drives,

I wanna talk about this, with this little science corner. Science corner. Science corner in which none of the science, I understand. Has been done. This is not but this oh so warp drives. I want to talk about this with this little science corner science corner Science corner in which none of the science I Has been done yeah, and we have not it's all theoretical, but what they're saying is I love this because this is full-on Sci-fi shit this bothers me, but we'll get into it in a second warp drives are looking like they are going to be a physical possibility now what is a warp drive? This is a thing that's come up in sci-fi for a long time. It's flying through space at the speed of light Well, that's that's like one. There's one version. It was like we want to say that we can maybe do that Yes, that they will pop it up. There's also the idea of doing something along the lines of folding space

that they will pop it up. There's also the idea of doing something along the lines of folding space, right? We do something where you poke a hole through one end of space, and then you can pop out at another end of space. And there's a way to sort of bring two points together, which I don't know how to explain. Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.

But the math is, what they're saying is, for the first time, the math is starting to show that we will not need XYZ exotic materials to do it. It's a solution of the field equations in the German born physicist Albert Einstein's theory of general relativity that resembles a tunnel between two black holes or other points in space time. So you'd be driving a shortcut across the universe. It's a wormhole.

And what they're saying right now, it is a wormhole. And right now they're saying we just have the ability to do sub-luminal version of it, which would mean lower than... Basically, we might be able to shorten the distance, but it still will take an extremely long amount of time. Yeah. But what we're basically saying is that we will not need to come up with a new material to do it.

They're saying that they believe that what we can make, like what we have in our hands, is enough to make one of these things. We just have to come up with novel ways of using the material and novel science in those worlds. But it's just like, it used to be just straight up a 0.0 possibility that it could be anything. But now the physics is showing that it's,

they're work like, again, nowhere near close. But it's possible. We're not seeing this in our lifetime. Oh no, no one will ever see it because of climate change. You will never see it. Humankind would have to decide as a group that we liked and trusted science and that we would want that to continue on to the future.

We would want- Everyone's shown that they hated science. Yes, very much so. They hate science. They distrust science. So we're not going to. So we're maybe gonna do that. This is Star Trek.

We could delete that. We're not gonna be in Star Trek. Yeah Well, I mean going real fast warp speed like to me I understand the folding of two points which sounds like it's impossible to me It is how are you gonna get to the other point? It's about here It's saying what Albert Einstein is saying is that theoretically there are like there are natural in their words tunnels That connect these black holes. So you would be using those tunnels to travel. You would just be, but it might seem instantaneous.

Wouldn't there be other shit in the tunnel? Who knows? We have no idea what's in these tunnels. There's a fucking asteroid in the tunnel. You're fucked. I have no idea. Or does everything get destroyed? That's where they're, one thing is do you-

Do planets get folded in with it too? They do, we know things get swallowed by black holes. One of the main issues of a contention is that if something is swallowed by a black hole, this is a thing we've been talking about for a long time, is it destroyed when it goes into the hole? What they discovered not that long ago, which I do believe is true, is that they have found

that when something enters into a black hole, it actually does not get destroyed. It's something else happens. So this idea that maybe you go through a black hole and you pop out some other place, but we don't know the dimension. You show up in that closet with Matthew McConaughey. Yeah. Like who knows? There's ideas that you could, something could happen to what, cause that's what they say, it's an information paradox. We covered a little up because the main,

one of the, one big contention of physics is that information can't be destroyed. In a black hole for a long time, kind of said, well, no. In a black hole, everything gets destroyed. And now they're saying, no, actually we're starting to see that there are informational artifacts on the surface of a black hole after things have entered into it. So it's like an unbreakable piggy bank.

We don't know what the fuck it is, but we assume it's a hole. Yeah, of course it's a fucking hole. But we think, yeah, but we don't know where the hole goes to. Goes to nowhere. Or go somewhere. And that's where we will send Rosie O'Donnell

straight into the center because they need a daytime talk show. She's, you know, I mean, like, God bless Rosie, by the way, for, like, always being the butt of the joke. Ah, she'll take. She's fine. I love her. Yeah, she's fine. She's cool. Did she see, well, you met her, right? No, never, I wish.

Yeah, she's supposed to be nice. I mean, if she likes you. Yeah, that's what I heard.'s what I heard yeah, I just feel like she wouldn't like me now No, I think there's a chance. She'd like you. I know buddy. What castor is your wife I'll take it that what we need. This is another thing inside science cuz so I've explained nothing you've explained nothing But I stories LP o TL at gmail.com. Explain it to us. You guys are good at it. Honestly, you know what?

Please don't. I'm fucking dumb with talking about warping and wormholes. It just doesn't matter. It's so counterproductive to the shit we need to make sure happens on earth. Well, the thing is, the stuff that's happening on earth is going to keep these things from happening. So, we're going to run into that very soon. Probably.

And there's another one. I actually, you and I got into disagreement about this story. Yeah. Because this is new too. This is about, this is a part of our science corner. It's a thing called cognify, which is this idea of a prison of the future.

Like you would go into this place, like you experience a crime, and the idea is that you would go in and they total recall your brain essentially like where you would lay in a pod and then this this theoretical system called Cognify would scan your brain and then what it would do it would go to the area where like one example It's like it's essentially an AI generated image Machine like a headset that would be completely stratified to your experience.

And so, like, let's say you murdered somebody. What they think that they could do is, instead of you going to jail for your whole life, what if instead you went to this booth where you would experience 50 years of jail in this booth, but, and you would have your memories, like stuff like over this whatever, like it would feel like it's happened over 50 years, and you would feel as if you are maybe, you know, in the hands of the, like you're from the perspective

of the person you murdered. Let's say you murdered somebody. Yeah, no, no, you wouldn't feel like 50 years. You'd feel like you were murdered. Or maybe raped or stuff like that. They said that. And then, or the idea of maybe that you are in jail for a long time and that they would then use imagery and various gene stimulation and neurological stimulation in order to change your memories to be memories in which you don't like to murder and memories in which you don't like to murder and memories

in which you don't like cocaine and that you would do these and that it would fix you and that essentially instead of going to jail for your life maybe there's some theoretical world where you go in and there's memory therapy that changes those ideas in your brain and then you're released back out like five days later. Oh yeah so instead of actually rehabbing you They just fucking makes you give you PTSD. No, they fix it. I don't think that's fixing it I believe technically you'd call it a spark blood change But that's the idea then you understand what you've done. Yeah, but why are you out for five days?

You're not fixing the problem. No, but now I mean, I feel like we're it's not gonna work like this. Yeah. And then one of the main issues is like, how does memory replacement affect the human activity? Like how does it affect you literally that they have the fabric of the physical nature of your brain? It's gonna make us all stupid. We're gonna think things are real when they're not. It's already there. It's already happening. But this is, obviously we're far from here. Many people are fighting this idea and I'm not even I just think it's fascinating I know that they have done studies that they have replaced memories in mice

Which is fucking cool How would you know they said it? How would you know you can't ask a mouse? I saw it in the did I saw it in a article. I saw it in the article dude. The article said it. They said they did it in mice and they also said they figured out how to code a picture into DNA and put it into bacteria. You put new DNA into bacteria? Well they made pictures out of DNA. Inside of bacteria. This is fucking stupid. It's new. I know it's new, but like the mouse thing is so flawed. Well, we don't know.

Sides tores LPOTL at gml.com. We don't know. I looked that up and it said something about how it turned bad memory into a happy memory. And I think it was about playing with those little mice balls. But they do a thing where they use some kind of, it was like a brain thing. Let them feel like they weren't assaulted no why are we doing this to

the guys who did it no we don't want to do Eddie that's what who needs this we're trying to change how do you put it I feel like with them it would be the opposite take the memories out yeah make them good at basketball no you can't you don't become good at basketball through memories. I feel it's one of the other. There's no exercise involved in that. We use the fake memories to make the murderers feel bad, but we use it to make the victims have new skills.

So if the new skills, we give them stuff like teach them how to play the piano, teach them how to talk Chinese. I don't think that's how it works. Why not? We're already doing it. We're in there. The hood's up. I mean, honestly, if you can just teach me Chinese in an hour, I would totally sign up for that. Why not? We're already doing it. We're in there. The hood's up. I mean, honestly, if you can just teach me Chinese in an hour, I would totally sign up

for that. This is what we're looking at, buddy. This is like the Matrix. I would do that. I think this is going to happen. Don't recall Demolition Man shit. That's weird to me. Yeah.

But like if you could go in and like they can give you a language. But how do you think that we are going to learn how to use this technology if we don't use it on people for a certain period of time? What language would you pick? Chinese. You think Chinese? Oh, yeah, cuz we're going right there. If you, me, and Marcus could learn Chinese, that's where we're starting the next podcast network. China? Yeah, buddy. No, we gotta move to China. No. I've been begging. Rob, you want to go? Rob's ready for it. We're all ready for purchase for China. What about Brazil?

Brazil sounds so much nicer. No, I want to go to China. We're all ready for purchase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all ready for purchase for China. I'm ready to go. What about Brazil? Brazil sounds so much nicer. No, I want to go to China. China doesn't have nice beaches. The government's going to get us. They're going to get what we do here. Okay? Because we're CIA operatives.

Yeah. And so you think they'll be welcome to China? Oh yeah. They'll tell them everything they want to know. You're a bad operative. That's my fucking, that's my sitcom. They want to know you're a bad operative That's my fucking that's my sitcom bad operative

Fucking shots, not evil is just bad. I never been good at keeping a secret Obviously, this is very controversial and everyone's gonna be angry even just talking about it everybody's angry But I do think you should we should think about it Because I feel like there's various tech within this that will be very interesting for the future And I actually think that memory fucking with memory is way less invasive than fucking with our genes And so if you if we can fuck with our memories in a way To make us better versus trying to do gene therapy because I think gene therapy is also extremely experimental who is he Any tune All right, how long we've been talking

All right, so we got this we got a couple of these yeah, I'm gonna do some more stories You have anything else you're either we've did an hour almost an hour of updates the lobster Buddy, this is what's going on. I mean I got this is up This is I'm me told us to the point where like we talked about this This type of thing must have always happened and now that it's like become a regular news thing I had to become a regular news thing. You and I are the only people covering this Yeah, no one's covering this as if this is a thing that is actually this is a spree of meat piles I but this time they've gone too far. I don't know who would waste this much fucking lobster. It makes me angry

Yeah, now this is in of course. It's in Canada now this takes place in Ontario Of course, it's in Canada now this takes place in Ontario They're looking for someone who dropped a large quantity of lobsters They were found dumped alongside highway 17 near Bonfield now according to Constable Renee Taylor Oh, I did look like an abundant number Probably over a hundred lobsters are there I Mean we all I mean a, like a filter broke and they had, they were stuck with a lot of lobsters. Who's taking them out all the way here, but why not just dump them back in the ocean? At least then like animals would eat them

that should be eating them here. Like a bear is going to get a bunch of a belly full of bad lobster. I feel like it doesn't matter. You know, I don't know. They're saying like the public, the police are asking for your help. According to Renee Taylor, you know, there were elastics on the lobsters and it's unknown at this time if they were star bot or where they're from. You know, a lot of us are wondering if they put the elastic bands on there themselves, like little Nazi arm bands. A lot of us are wondering if this is the SS all over again. Little Nazi lobsters, go organizing a vote for a conservative government under Trudeau.

All right. And they're going to just give that. And she's mad, right? Cause she's saying they're going to decompose there. It's's gonna create odors and animals are gonna come out of the forest because of this dumping and littering. So with regards to putting these lobsters there, it's causing a risk. It is! Alright, no it's not something we see or deal with. It's something we don't see often. There's not piles of lobsters outside of my home each day. I don't know where the lobsters came from or where the lobsters are going. Alright? But they want some information. Oh, who could help us find the origin of the lobsters?

Who dumped them? I mean look for whoever has a broken filter. Whatever seafood restaurant is fucked. They were also partially steamed. Oh, they were partially steamed? I mean look at them, they're partially, they're pink. No they're not, they're brown. I'm looking at pink.

I'm looking at brown. We're looking at the same picture. You got doo-doo eyes. I mean Lord knows. But no, those aren't, no those- No, look at the little pink claws and stuff. But look at the rest of their fucking bodies you would not call that partially steamed. I've worked in kitchens Don't the whole thing steams the claws don't just steam and then the red they look like that. I don't mean to set them off

I'm just a lonely reporter Here that just lowly reporter here that just asks questions. It all turns red. All I am is a man stands between the truth and the audience deciding will I scare them again today? The shame of this is lobsters live forever if they're not killed.

Lobsters, it's not like they're fucking volunteering at the hospice. I know. You know what I mean? It's not like you're ruining the neighborhoods. That's all I'm saying. Yeah, I agree. Of course. I agree I think that this is a massive waste of food. It's very very sad to do and it's bad for the environment This is number three that we have covered in as many weeks guys this Has to stop. Yeah, I think there was just like a power outage at a place that was housing lobsters.

How many more excuses are we going to make? Like how many more- It's not an excuse. It's just what happened probably. It's all I'm hearing. But why not put it in the dumpster? Why drive it to the middle of the woods? These guys are copycatters.

And there's something, there's a message here that we're missing. There's something that we're supposed to understand implicitly about these piles and I don't know what it is. I think they should be in driveways. If you want to send a message, yes. Yeah, I think that's, you know, if I have a hundred dead lobsters in my hand. But it's also interesting the fact that they would go

to so many lengths to hide this pile of lobsters. Yeah. But then it's still found. Like, what's happening? I remember, I accidentally killed a lobster once when I was on mushrooms and I ate it. No, I remember your story. Yeah, I got a couple.

You carried it around in a pitcher of water all night. That was a different one. That was a lobster I won that they should have never given to me. You know, a lot of this just sounds like internalized guilt. Well that one is. Yes. The second one I ate. Well lobsters can't. So internalized guilt. Well that one is yes the second one I ate Well, I feel no guilt on that one. Well, they can't think I think they can I know well, they're not not well

You can't make a lobster a pet Yeah, yeah, you can make anything a pet If you have a tank why not put a lobster in it? Yeah, I guess so you can make a lot if you have fish could be a pet a lobster could be a pet ain't gonna Last long in my house. Certainly not. No, I I definitely like you you know I won't eat my dog But if I have a lobster as a pet one day, I'm gonna be like so like can we eat them tonight? You know what I would do? constantly what Replace the lobster each day

Lobster secretly at night to carry your feet are getting huge Yeah, I know the scare must be some kind of something wrong with my feet ointment or something Oh, this is my ankles are simply inoperable That's a butter I bought eight sticks of butter earlier this week. Where's all the butter Natalie? Jumping I'm eating it. This lobsters could be interesting pets, but they require a lot of care and consideration. Salvador Dalí famously used to take a lobster around on a leash. Do you remember his lobster telephone? That's fucking cool. It was cool. I saw that in St. Pete, Salvador Dalí museum. Compatibility. Pregnant women, children under five, and the elderly, and people with compromised immune systems should consult a doctor before getting a

lobster has a pet It's in a tank who gives a shit Fuck cares what a pregnant woman can't look at a lobster. It's gonna make her too hungry. It might snap at her belly I'm gonna look at a bit. Let's just gonna turn into a big pickle Yummy yum and the five is gonna pinch her nose. Lobsters need a large aquarium with lots of live rocks and crevices for hiding. If you have a lobster for a pet, you own a sizzler. That's not a house anymore.

You can get a lobster as a pet from the grocery store. Toss a couple of shrimp in there. All right, might as well get some scallops. I love scallops. I know. It's gonna be empty. That's so good. This is gonna be, the place is gonna be empty. We don't have any shells. Man. I love scallops. I know. It's gonna be empty. They're so good. This is gonna be,

and the place is gonna be empty. We don't have any shells. Man, I ate so much. They're gonna follow the shells to your bed, and you're gonna be like, oh no, I ate my friends. Oh my, oh my sea friends. My dream villain to be is the walrus

that eats all the little oysters. Oh yeah, the best. In Alice in Wonderland. Yeah, cause they're all big, also you like it cause it cuz they're begging you get to play with them. Yes Yes, that's Armand Mavis. Yeah. Well, no, I mean they didn't know they were getting eaten They were happy to be consumed. They were happy to go along and dance, but they didn't know they were dancing to their death Seems like there should be a lesson in there. There is it's a fable, but I want to be the bad guy He just wants to eat oysters. He's just eating pile of sea fish. He's that's what he likes. Yeah, that's Eddie

Yeah, yeah, I you know what? I've never honestly now that you're talking about this the reason why this is always Yeah, they're all baby girls Now I realize it's fucking disgusting Why does he have normal human teeth? I don't know. I don't know and they're all just baby girls So the fact that he's just eating a bunch of essentially fetuses. That's here. I've realized. Yeah, they're always Better than the big oysters. It looks like he's eating a bunch of abortions Very close to his voice. Yeah, that's really good. Sweet, sweet little Bortys. One by one.

Delicious, delicious, eat you with vinegar. I think we're out of time. We have these other letters we gotta do. We have the other, this story. Crimes, crimes. Oh, we'll get to crimes too. This is a crime, lobster pile's a crime. It is a crime.

There was something that I wanted to bring up. Yeah? Oh yeah, the Lulore Mans is a crime. It is a crime. Um, hey, there was something that I wanted to bring up. Yeah? Oh yeah, the Lola-Lori mansions for sale. It's only $10.2 million. $10.25 million? All we gotta do is get it together. When you look at that interior, I love that interior. I'm telling you, you gotta hit up Das Malken.

We gotta try to get that. We gotta try to all... I want ten eccentric people. Everybody I know with money, if we all got together with money we could figure out how to get this fucking house Yeah, I think there's a lot of people like that would love real estate Best part of the entire fucking city evil timeshare. It's just between you and your rich evil friends Look at the wine cellar in that fucking place. I mean, that's fucking awesome. Does it come with the wine? No, but it does come with the history of slavery. Oh, yeah, which is really difficult. That is the main issue there

Yeah, beautiful kitchen. No wonderful galley kitchen. I mean, it's gorgeous. Yeah, I love the back It almost seems like it's too nice to be haunted. It's well, that's how they made it look the floors though We're og you could tell that's really really nice. There's probably a lot of blood spilt of those That'd be awesome the red room that they have they could like they'd play a lot of things a bit tongue-in-cheek For some of it. Yeah, because this is very it's a bit garish, but I do enjoy it There's a lot of people that make it should be a hotel with all these we've talked about this I've really kind of wanted the idea of turning this into a super Bnb it would be so but we've already I mean it already was one mm-hmm and the ghosts kicked him out

So we'll see what happens We'll see what happens next person who gets this home But 10.2 I could see it coming down because I think he bought it for eight the original purchaser after I believe it was Nick cage Was the last guy who owned this or was Brangelina? Yeah, I could see you maybe Jordan Peele could get a piece of this Yeah, he's not he's not accepting any of my cutout letters Yeah And reaching out to him by leaving like weird messages by like a former slave torture

I think he would be a anger against that. Yeah, I think he'd slap you in the mouth if you ask them that Who's a confederate? Hey kid rock. Yeah Kid Rock! Give me some money. Come on buddy, figure this out. And also the other one was, I wanted to ask, what's the difference between I can look this up. What's the difference between Scruff and Grindr?

I mean I don't know. I never heard of Scruff before today. Yeah, we were saying the story of a man who was 72 took really good care of himself. Scruff self more violent It does he was with a he was with a man for like 40 years And then he got catfished by this dude then took him out and then him and this woman Essentially found that he lived in a really nice house

And they killed him inside the house and tried to take it over from the inside out yeah Which we learned last week from the bear you can't do legally yeah, you can't kill everybody in the house You don't just get it. But I did want to know that in, is scruff, is scruff more for, cause I know Grindr is for sex, but I do think that they do it, they do just date off of Grindr. I think scruff is for fighting. Scary. Cause kiss fighting?

Yeah. Different type of fighting. Cause I think a scruff, that's like what you pick a dog up by with. so will you woof at people on it you woof at them So you this is the drive it up. It's very dog-based and I think that is it for hairier men It's scruff for make big hairy men It's maybe it's for I don't know there are men that I have seen with my body type That are very popular on the internet. Yeah. And they play with their boobies a lot and they don't seem to care.

See, these guys all look like nice here. So gentlemen. Yeah. I mean, I think this is for the, wow, that's a crazy position that man's in. Yeah. They think that's a heck of a lot of balls. He's got, they could do anything. I think that these men are very, whoa, he's got that guy by the angles.

They play here about, Oh, what are they doing there? But it looks like, what's that guy doing? Missionary? Yeah. What is this term? Oh, he's got got he's late for his off job at the police station Yeah, go down there. Yeah that man. Oh, those are that's that's right there the thin blue line Yeah, that cops and that's the picture I call and I want to post that on social media I want to post that picture the thin blue line. Yeah, and cuz like that is jet shows me That's our boys in blue getting each other's backs in a way

That did only that's our boys in blue getting each other's backs in a way that is only depicted in this. Yeah, it just, I didn't realize that they didn't need to have their uniform on to do their job. No, to support each other in such an intimate fashion because it is, they are really gripping. Well, at least pleather daddies. Well you know, at least- It's not broke leather daddies or pleather daddies.

Well, no, environmentally conscious. Oh, okay. And then also, it's nice with this, they both shave their bodies so the hairs wouldn't get caught in their little ringlets. That's good. So I hope they were, I hope they weren't, they're there when they're fucking having to stop the next deal. I hope they, you know, they'll get married.

I hope so. And then they can have, they can have it. All right, let's get to some listener lesson. It's a little listener scruff is enough. I think scruff is intense Yeah, so I guess that is intense according to just these pictures of all of these men's balls Yeah, see this is the one this this picture. I don't understand. I think that this one he is fun But this is he's showing he's flexible and he's got a big bulge. Is this the... is that what we want? I don't want any of this. I just find that this is the weirdest position.

I think he's very attractive. The only way to describe it is that he is doing half a half a baby with the... it's a really strange leg position. He's fucking jacked too. A lot of these guys are. He's smiling but I don't think he's comfortable. I think he is comfortable. He's fucking Jack too. Yeah! A lot of these guys are. He's smiling, but I don't think he's comfortable. I think he is comfortable. He's stretching. What is... it's just...

He's showing off. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, look how close my nuts are to my asshole. Which is honestly, he should probably get that checked because his tan's too small. Oh, it's fine. His tan's too small, his penis is too big, and I think he should go to the hospital or jail. I just, you know... I think he should go to the hospital or jail. I just, you know. I think he should be, yes, that should be fixed.

He's stronger than any dude in any militia, I'll tell you that much. Oh, he would. He'd fuck any of those militia boys up. All Mike Pence is desperate for is for that man to bend him over the glass case of the Bible inside of the White House and have his ass so thickly penetrated by his big, huge infused rod as he comes saying, oh mother, I wish you could see this, he comes on his own dick on top of the Bible. Nothing would make him happy.

Nothing. Nothing. Except for having been killed on January 6th. I actually think that would have been his happiest outcome. And on Mars. You wouldn't have been remembered as a hero if you hadn having been killed on January 6th. I actually think that would have been his happiest outcome. And all the bars remembered as a hero. Dude, if you did that, that would be fucking awesome. Yeah. It was the only way people would have like gone out liking him. Oh, of course. If he went out and Mike Pence had a fucking no shirt on fucking American flag with his head popped through like a doubt

show, like the end of fucking good bad Like a poncho yeah, yeah, if he came out with that two fucking six shooters He stole from the Lincoln bedroom just fucking popping off guys saying you ain't gonna kill me you ain't coming for my mommy wife Yeah, that would have been fucking huge. I would have been here. He didn't If I could ran away little bitch Bitches they should have been there should be fighting they all ran away. Fuck it. Little bitches. They should have been there. They should have been fighting.

They all should have been fighting. That's their house. It's a long story, guys. I feel like we're in a really fucking... J. Johnston. Horrible territory. Yeah, I know. The story of Everest.

Yeah, I know. My favorite sketch of all time. The star. Yep. January 6th. Gone to jail for a while. Yep. As he probably should.

He needs a re- he needs a Reset. A look inside. Yeah. Here we go Here's some listening letters This is very interesting now this comes from the story I talked about last week about Shelby Hewitt the lady that is pretending to be a child For some reason with the help of a therapist and we don't really know when, again it's at the very beginning of that story so that obviously more will come out. But this was a really fun listener letter. Hearing Ed and Henry talk about Shelby Hewitt this week reminded me so much of a very similar

experience I had. Back in around 2011, this strange girl, Brittany, started coming to a weekly youth Bible study at my church When I first met her I thought she was around my age at the time, but she was actually 12 She often came in in her school uniform with her grade 6 books and homework So I figured she was an especially developed 12 year old However, the other 12 year olds found her off-put, so she hung out with us all older teams like Shelby. As we got to know her, she opened up about her tragic past, including witnessing her father murdering her mother, being sexually abused by her father and his friends, a severe

eating disorder, and serious self harm issues. Her arms recovered from wrist to shoulder with healed self harm scars. My heart absolutely broke for this poor young girl. Brittany came to our summer camp but it didn't take long for her to raise some red flags, including having razors and lighters in her suitcase. When the camp directors tried to call her older sister, they came to the realization that Brittany was not a 12 year old girl but a 25 year old woman with another name and a social work diploma. Another one, social worker. The police came to take her from the camp and after a few failed attempts on her part to convince us all it was just a misunderstanding, we didn't hear from her again. This kind of thing unfortunately

happens more often than you think, but most often nothing comes of it. I'm not sure what her angle was since she never asked anyone for money or tried to get inappropriate with a kid. My best guess is she simply had an awful childhood and was trying to find the care she never got. Which I think is probably what we're going to hear about Shelby Hewitt too. There's something about a loss of childhood that is creating some fascination with childhood later on. But it doesn't seem to involve sexual assault. It seems to evolve just the process of being a kid again and wanting to redo it all. Just become a Disney adult.

That's such a better thing. I think a lot of those Disney adults need to stop acting like children. I think the key in that term is adult. But you're still an adult. Yeah, exactly. You don't become a child. You don't get to go to Disney, murder somebody, and then get treated by the court as a minor.

Well, if they die off campus, you can go only if you've killed a minor and you yourself are nine. Again, my, and Rob has put up the example of Billy Madison, but everybody was in the world. They knew he was a man. And that's fine. That should be allowed and should be encouraged. Yeah.

No, that's fine. Oh yeah. Let a full grown man go through elementary school. Let him go. If you we all know he's doing it. He just has to say, is that be you? Yeah, he's just gonna be like, we have be in your pants. It's cool. Call me Miles Davis. Like at the top of the show. Yes. Because he knew it's all coming back around. Wow. It is coming back around. Yeah. It's all about pissing pants today. Right. So the very scary situation and we don't know why and I want to find out more

because and I got another email talking about the therapist, Rebecca Bernand, that was involved in this whole thing and she really, she definitely knew Shelby as an adult. Of course! If not, she definitely is a bad therapist. Oh no, well she's a literal criminal and we're gonna find out how so in the future Yeah, well, you know more. All right one more Ever since I was a child. I was intrigued by the paranormal extraterrestrial and all likes of the macabre Raised by a young mother who taught me to question everything and maintain a relationship with my ancestors

Go said it goes adventures ancient aliens and documentaries of ancient Mexican peoples. My ancestors shared my TV screen and set of other after-school specials and the Disney Channel. So in the year of 2016 for my 18th birthday, young, I took a road trip from Orange County California to Tonopah, Nevada for reference season 2 episode 5 Zach Baggins investigates the MISPA Hotel with roads blanketed and almost pitch black littered with the Season 2, Episode 5, Zack Baggins investigates the Misbah Hotel. With roads blanketed and almost pitch black, littered with the corpses of bunnies and other small animals, we reach the Allen Cut House, some brothel with a cheesy theme connected to a diner and a gift shop.

While the gas is pumping, I walk inside the shop to energize myself and the punk-ass driver who decided to stretch an already exhausting drive from 4 to 6 hours. The gentleman at the register asks us what brings us to Area 51 at this hour. I laugh and tell him it's my birthday and it's my wish to visit a small town referenced in an episode by my favorite little ghost slut. He mentions how close we are to the infamous government land and again I laugh it off. There's no way, it's not even real. The awkward exchange feels much longer than it is, but I flapped and we packed up our

goods and stretched our bones and once again embarked on our ghost adventure, and not even in two minutes I noticed the most incredible meteor shower above us. We pull over to the side of the road, eat these spicy corn nuts, Mexican candy, and mango monster energy drinks. Our seats are leaned back, looking to the moon roof above us. My dry, sleepy eyes blink and then bright, white neon, the white they use to describe death, surrounds us. There's no sound, nothing. The utter silence you see in movies, once the mushroom cloud erupts and begins its descent among the surrounding land. But what it felt like, it felt like minutes. I could feel whatever was left of my being looking around in the slurry of nothingness,

slow and delayed. Reality finally comes back. The clock on the dash beam is bright blue-green and reads that it's just been less than a minute. He and I make eye contact, our stomachs touching our assholes, fear forcing the gas pedal to touch the floor of the driver's seat, we race to the safety of our local hotel room, and for the most part the rest of the driver's seat. We raced to the safety of our local hotel room and for the most part the rest of the trip was great.

Until recently, something was opened, unlocked, and I felt compelled to share my story. Now I do think that it's very possible you got hit with some weird government thing. Yeah, just light? Yeah. What, they were like, why are you here? And they shined a light on them? Yeah, super, super powerful, powerful like beam light maybe. Then you got grabbed at or that, that you know there's some kind of form

Could have had a stroke. I am deeper and deeper into the concept of They really have some form of retro actively built technology that they're actively building and working with that They have some form of UFO mimicking technology and that they are using it. I think that that is it's very possible There was probably an alien right behind him And they were shining the light on the alien. He just happened to get in the way that might be I think it's just as good an explanation of as any and crazy Because it's all real and you can love that fact. There's no such thing as something that's fake if it's not fake to you.

So you can love the fact that yeah you're looking at me police officer, but I'm pissing in my pants and I'm laughing my way all the way to City Hall because you can't arrest me no matter how much- I think they can tell you you can't go in with your pants pissed. Uh, no you can't. That's the people's house. And this people has got pee-pee in his people's pants. And he's going into the people's house with his people's pee-pee in his fucking pants.

I'm pretty sure that's what the security guard is for. If he pisses in his pants, we walk together in solidarity. If he pisses in his pants, he gets fired. fired If he's caught it's pretty hard not to catch if he's pissing his pants in the line of duty You and I both know that it's funny and also he could be pissing his pants Well, I'll save and everyone Yeah, that's one thing. Do you? I'll save and everyone. Oh yeah, well that's one thing. Do you take it against a man?

If he saves your life and he pisses his pants during it, do you respect him less? I don't have a problem with anyone pissing their pants. Why have you been fighting me since the very beginning of today? I'm thinking that your idea of victory is not victory. I think that we all as a society need to change what we view a win as

Yeah Our lives are so horrible Like when something awful happens to us we didn't you gotta begin you gotta begin to like it That's like saying it's good luck. Well, I read I'm right now. I'm reading Ryan Holliday's the obstacle is the way So every single thing is you're supposed to say, how can I benefit from this? Is it a self-help book? Yeah, but using stoicism.

Really? Yeah. Oh, that's fun. Yeah, talking about the idea of like, because I've always heard this, people always say, all these business guys are all like, the obstacle is the way, blah, blah, blah, and I didn't know what they mean.

Enjoy the process. And this is supposed to be a book. It's the same thing. Process sucks. Well, not if you enjoy it. No, I like sitting doing nothing. Mm-hmm. No process Jack dick no activity from nose up. That's what I like Total paralysis. Oh my god, I've been full of booze and weed smoking neat

I've been taking lion's mane. Yeah, I like lions man. I got it And I take two on days of record and stuff like that. And then like days I just have to do like work. I only take one. Yep. But days that I'm off, I take zero. Yeah. Yeah. I want to be as dumb as I don't want my brain working at all. If you see me and I don't have to record that day, I couldn't care less about what I'm saying. No, I want an empty. I don't. Yeah. I don't want to learn. I don't want nothing. Nothing.

Nothing going on at all. Yeah. I want't yeah, I don't want to learn. I don't want nothing nothing going on at all Yeah, I want to look at my dog. Maybe maybe maybe because even that's an obligation There is sometimes where I'd like I'll spend entire days just staring at a wall. Oh, that's my favorite Yeah, I think that's my hobby. Yeah, just looking at a wall. That's all I do. Yeah, if I'm not working Yeah, I stare I'm playing bg3 again playing bur's Gate. All right, let's get back into it. We got a lot of stuff to do, guys. We're in the street. Oh my God, we got some side story shows.

Chicago! Come out to Chicago. We are gonna be doing an improvised, ridiculous show in Chicago. It's gonna be extremely different than our main show in Chicago. The last podcast on the Left Show in Chicago was sold out. Come see side stories because we are going to be doing

something unprepared. And I think you're gonna like it. I think you're gonna like it. It went great last time. In Chicago was sold out come see side stories because we are going to be doing something Unprepared and I think you're gonna like it. I think you're gonna like it. It went great last time I did I was so nervous that it was gonna be horrible and it went great But then you realize if we ever prepared and that's what you just kind of just take it as it is I mean, you're gonna see us out there be live. There'll be some Yeah, it's all made up Be live. There'll be some, some of it. We'll have prepared. They don't know, they just don't know. Okay. We'll just make it seem like it's all made up. It has to. But it also will be.

Yeah. But we can act, we can fake like it's not. We can act like we prepared. So I don't even know where you're at in the thought right now. By the tics. Go to TikTok at LP on the left. Go and see all of our stuff on the TikTok.

It's great. Go to twitch.tv slash LP and TV. See us on Twitch. We make new shows. It's all over the place. Good put is coming also. It's going to be, we're doing another good put soon,

but Hoopa Goo Goo, we're doing a run of a brand new game show that we are running. It is on twitch.tv slash LP and TV. Hoopa Goo Goo, the game with Ed Larson and Amber Nelson that we are running. It is on twitch.tv slash LPN TV. Hoop a goo goo. The gay with Ed Larson and Amber Nelson on twitch.tv slash LPN TV at 6pm PSD. Yeah, we got, um, Jackie's a brown. He's going to be on it. Billy Wayne Davis, Billy Wayne Davis and MJ Neffel.

It's going to be a lot of fun. It's going to be a lot of fun. Go jig it out and go to last podcast on the left.com. Come and see us live. It's a fun time. Yeah, DC this weekend, baby. Can't wait come see it's gonna be surprised love going to DC I'm fine with shout out to the Pentagon Fuck yeah. Love you guys. Hey man fuck thanks for the best sides or no sides. Yeah, dude CIA. Thanks for the benefits No, yeah. Okay. Thank you so much. All right, just so you know, we're helping disturb a lot of stuff Yeah, okay. Thank you so much right just so you know we're helping disturb a lot of stuff Don't worry we got it. I got the information. Do you want to tell them about our problem our DC issue? so One last thing before we leave

Never a straight answer The company that is paid by our tax dollars to lie to us about space, NASA, has refused to let me enter their building. I was supposed to go in an all, not expense store, but because it was, technically it was a cool thing. They were gonna show us around,

there's some fans there, and they were gonna show us around. I was gonna go in and find out about exoplanets, and find out information foroplanets and find out Information for you and give it to you and then they told you no no because they called me a so-called conspiracy theorist And now we're going to have them understand is that there's no theories about it We know for a fact that they're lying to us and now will you know what I know?

What do you know we never went to the goddamn moon? Oh? Yeah, we did oh now. I know now. I know we did well of course We because what do you said we didn't know China's got as much to benefit from our fucking going to the moon Because they can't make it to the moon because they are naturally allergic to space They just went to the dark side of the moon. No, that's a lie, dude. No one's gone. Moon don't exist. Moon don't exist? Yeah, bro! We're never going to NASA now!

Fuck you, NASA! No, I like you buddy! I like you, NASA! Moon's fake! The only thing I like is Saturn! It's... the elders of planets are stupid! The moon is hollow. Yeah! And it's not real, and it's stupid! And Venus is small! How do you think it floats?

Alright, who gives a shit? All right? So fuck you, NASA. Will allow me in? You think you can keep me out? I know you want me to be calm, NASA. And I know the pan flutes are both for Rob, Eddie, my doctor, Dr. McGarnagall,

at the Horse Institute that I go for. I go specifically for people. Horse people. Horse people. Horse doctors. That's where you learn about all their genitalia. But just no horses. No horses.

No NASA. I want you to know for a fucking fact, I might be calm, but that's just because I'm planning. What are you planning? He's not planning anything by the way, NASA. You barely put this episode together. He's a bad operative! Bye everybody! Bye!

Bye Jankerhover! Go fuck yourself NASA. Yeah, fuck you NASA! Fucking loser juice. Bye everybody! Bye! Bye Jankerhoover! Go fuck yourself NASA! Yeah, fuck you NASA! Fucking loser juice! Fuck you, except for the scientists that are involved in NASA. I love you. I'm going to meet them outside and they're going to tell me all this shit you don't want me to hear outside the building.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The guys up top. You're all going to be fired. Fucking cowards. Even just their association with me is going to ruin them. We literally would have just been a fun hang. You guys missed out. I just wanted free seltzer and hopefully a shirt or a hat. I like the ice cream. We can get jack shit Eddie. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to LastPodcastNetwork.com.