Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Heartless

Episode Date: December 24, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: fake meat on the rise, an influencer-wannabe rips her mom's heart out, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories The happiest season of all yes, it is joyous times the joy is in the air is that joy in the air? No, it's a fucking virus. No, it's joy. It's it's a fucking fucking virus Your joy is not in the air Wow, okay, Krampus. You're somehow a grumpy your Krampus Well, then I'm gonna put my Santa cap on and say have a holly jolly Christmas That's the best time of the year you just went into talking about that you just went into talking Santa And even sing the song well Santa actually you know what? You know what would give me some joy is if you did do a heart Felt attempt to sing that song have a holly jolly Christmas

It's the best time of the year. Okay, you can go to Walmart's bathroom You can and take yourself a dump. That's actually that's pretty good That's I actually kind of felt the stirrings. Yes, there's sugar plum fairies There's nothing better than taking a solid dump at a Walmart bathroom So do that if you can on Christmas. Anyway, this is side stories special edition aka not as good. No We're gonna cover three stories. We're not doing here of the week. We're not doing letters Right now We're on vacation. Yeah, we're on vacation right now, but we decided that we wanted to talk like we wanted to talk a little bit

More we know we all need a little bit more of a distraction during this time period and why not get distracted by two Fat easily killable morons Whose jobs are to flap their gums for living. It's easy to do I can't wait until we're cast as the USA podcast where we go entertain the troops in whatever land we have our new war in because it's coming fast and it's coming soon Man so many new wars. I can't believe I was waiting for Black Friday to start purchasing my new wars But now they're out there. We're gonna have so many sales so many sales on weapons So many sales on weapons man

I will say that you are if hopefully this helps you escape from your family drama if you're going through any of that right now I hang in there stay hang in there and stay with it because God knows this holiday can especially this year can lead to a screaming arguments with the accoutrements of joy, which I think that's why Christmas is so Difficult because it's like I'm a smiley snowman. It's like what do you mean? You're gay like oh, yeah Oh, yeah, buddy. I feel I feel it deep down inside. I feel the sound of like And then the sound of Racking guns But I we do want to bring a little cheer to this time period

Absolutely not why not even give it a fucking shot and try to give it a cheer because I do think that there are some people and some Podcasters and some broadcasters because we're broadcasters. They Don't understand the power of their words like we do And the power of the word and I'm gonna use this word right now first of all to heal the country I want to use this. I'm gonna say a word. I'm gonna feel I'm gonna imbue it with joy and holly and berries and Elphin mischief cunt

You really nailed it More and more every day man. Good job buddy. Well, I know I don't know if that's appropriate I'm wearing longer underwear. Okay. Well, this new underwear. No, no, we're getting into this We don't fucking talk about this also speaking of fucking Black Friday remorse. I've got a bunch of you I love my Tommy John's right I do even we don't even work for Tommy John's anymore No, I don't like Tommy John's but the thing is they changed the formula They changed the formula Bell did I did I love the fabric of a Tommy John's but I wouldn't I got my boxer briefs, right? I got him on clearance. I got a nice sale on it because the Black Friday man the legs of these they're going down on my fucking ankles

Dude, that's making these boxer briefs longer and longer and longer. I feel like a goddamn like I'm a dumb a prospector You're mid 30s and you do have the body of a prospector and I think you would find the most amount of gold But then you would also get robbed for the most amount of gold because they were just like thank God You did all the work little Polish I don't understand how I hold these bad just keep following me into the fields. Oh, I guess it's because if you push me over a rock I got the body of a woman. Oh Did you know by the way speaking of Polish people that the video game? cyberpunk 2077 it's a Polish company Travis Morningstar turned me on to that I didn't believe if the Polish needed more

Which is why they focus so much on the dick. This is revenge What's happening with cyberpunk fucking 2077 is Polish? Revenge, and you know why it's Polish revenge because it only hurts the company All right Well get maybe you're just shrinking Henry is it possible with the Tommy John's because you are in your mid 30s now You are gonna start condensing in size Well, you're not doing the thing you're not doing the quarantine thing where you mark your height on the wall I am marking a different kind of distance by how much my stomach scrapes the bathroom door

Cuz it's kind of tiny as I exit Again 2021 is a different year and we are gonna be in shape because we're gonna be moving around like human beings We're meant to do all right. Well, let's start you want to start can we start with this Instagram story anyway? Yeah, we just wild so this is a story This is the New York post story because it's Christmas time and God knows the post always delivers nothing But perfect gifts. Oh god the title is want to be Instagram star Which really that's gonna hurt her feelings more than anything. Yes want to be in straight Instagram star allegedly ripped mom's heart out in a shocking murder she was a shocking about it fricking the heart

I've heard it. I've heard it before I have not heard of this before unless it's Indiana Jones in the temple of doom Anna Lachovic 21 years old from Moldova Madoff is one of those countries where it's like the it is half human traffickers and half fucking like weird esoteric Eastern European pastry pickers The young medical student and want to be again Instagram they continue because the New York post is just so petty Yeah, just poke poke so she was she's a med school student. Apparently she grabbed a kitchen knife She stabbed her mother Her mom remained alive during the attack and at that point The crazed daughter carved up her dying mom's innards

Lachovic is suspected of a terrible crime This is according to a bunch of a name that I cannot pronounce, but it's a newspaper They reported quote she stabbed her mother with a knife and then cut out the heart of a living woman It added she was vaguely attractive. I'm looking at pictures of her. I mean, that's what matters the most That's what matters. I mean honestly on Instagram. Yes on Instagram. I mean, that's what I mean in terms of wannabe Influencer, yeah, he's definitely a wannabe influencer because he didn't have the numbers Well, she had nine thousand four hundred followers and if you are out there and you want to be an Instagram influencer You got nine thousand followers. That is what we call though. That's a good start

It's a start. It's a start. That's very if you want your goal is honestly though How many comedians you know we know that would die for nine thousand Instagram followers. They would not die They would fucking cut their mother's hearts out. They would literally do this same crime In order to get nine thousand followers I'm just saying if you if your goal is to be an influencer though You're looking at and I'm not even shit you right now unless unless you got some good ones I mean, I'm talking about up front and then back or if you got a good you got to have a hook You have to have some kind of gimmick

You're looking at you need at least five hundred thousand to at least make even a dent in an ad deal like it is There's a lot in there like you really have to unless you're notorious Like Jody Arias if she moved to Instagram, she probably could do a lot of damage Like well, you can't show buttholes on Instagram. You can't show the bottle and that's her prime possession Oh, you could put a little elf face over the butthole Being like oh Santa's suck something extra Special in this year's stocking. Oh my goodness. What is that? Oh, it's a dead body Well, apparently Anna apparently she got really mad because her mom found out she was using drugs

And then her mom was like you got to go to treatment and she's like And this is according to the family they say it was a good family This is like friends and relatives. They say it was a good family They say she loved her daughter so much and she spent so much time with her It took two hours for the police to tell me that she was the main suspect. I could not even imagine this Nobody saw it coming. Although at some point, I don't know like how did we get here? Don't you? That's a good question. How do you have to get here? Don't you have to amp up ramp up before you like, you know Stab them up. It seems to be a crime of passion and in the moment. It also seems to be she's probably capable at of a

Lot of different types of ultraviolence and this was she she might have been lightly Who knows? Physically abusive. I like to find out from the boyfriend because she apparently murdered her mother in the spree in the rage Stabbed her so many times she opened a hole in her chest. Oh ripped open the ribs Pulled out her heart and her innards But then took a shower and went to her boyfriend's house and honestly that boyfriend is one of the luckiest men in Maldova It's even luckier than when the court jester of the king of Maldova

Manages to get a nice sandwich on the way to the king's like before they have lunch Absolutely in that court jester may just become the king one day. Isn't that interesting? But I wonder because it was a good thing about this because there are other stories that it's kind of I mean vaguely similar to you Have like the Chris the Chris Watts story. Oh my god. You have like people things that come out of nowhere They're not abusive in any way shape or form But just one day just blam just explodes where she took her frustration out on the new Instagram format and I'm gonna blame Instagram. Maybe it's Instagram because it's just a shopping app now Well, that is true. And by the way, Henry

We said we were gonna bring cheer and so far you have brought up a series of bad things that are not sure I'm supposed to oh, this reminds me of that funny time that one girl Decapitated a woman at the ski slope slope. That's right ski slopes are fun because they go down But you are right about Instagram. My god, haven't those ads picked up and for some reason I follow steak videos On Instagram. Yeah, and for some reason they're saying Sensitive content over the steak videos like it's somebody being beheaded, but it's just a steak and the guy is like I don't know what's happening to my content. Instagram is all mad at me and it's just meat and I'm like I don't know what's going on. So yeah, I follow the saw the sausages account

I follow are all still fully operational I just got I just finally liked a social media platform and it was Instagram and now I don't know where I'm you know I have to go we have to go to like what's our version of parlor where it's a bunch of Republican idiots What's our version of it that we can have like? Hmm. I maybe a place just called like The butter like be you TTR and it's something it's about it's got to be about People who need elastic pants. I love that. I love the problem is you're gonna get a lot of the parlor audience It's gonna be a lot of bleed over and now put parlor is getting really really upset about the quote-unquote like liberals

You're going on parlor and executing their free speech and then they get blind they get banned and shit Oh, it's a very fun mess My god, isn't that fun the cyber war? Do you think it's the Russians? Oh, no, it is people on parlor and people on Instagram saying I don't want to see that goddamn meat I will say that damn solar flare man If you are having a bad time with your family, don't forget You're doing better than Anna's family because you are carved your mom out And she took her heart out and now her mom has passed away and she's gonna spend

I don't know what the punishment isn't in Moldova She might get more years because she didn't eat the heart and they're like you wasted the way state the food So I I'm pretty certain that she probably has to go to like some kind of rock-breaking prison Like I assume that there's a lot of like quarries that do need to be worked. Do they I don't know Is there a rock that's not cracked in North Korea right now? Because they have so many I was just watching the you know, they they cracked down on booze in North Korea recently No more booze. They can't even drink anymore. Jesus Christ. What? Honestly give them you got to give them something

But you also if you're having a problem at home You know what also this story really serves as a good thing to just print out and mail To your parents and be like maybe you do you want me coming home? That's a good. Do you want me coming home because how many times you've told me my artistic careers a phase? And there is something about printing it out and sending it via snail mail scary really sends a message Yeah, you can tweet it to them. Oh, yeah, oh, okay. Wow Ben's Ben's Thanks for the text Ben. This is the first time in eight months. Thanks dad. No problem, but you send it snail mail scary Oh, it's a message

Well speaking of scary and and families we got to talk about this story with all the porno Henry This is what a win. This is a win for young men He's not that young He's actually 42 What a young boy a a young boy Needs to be allowed to express himself. Oh god. Sexually. All right, so this is the Daily Mail headline It said disgruntled American divorcee All right, so this is the divorcee. I want to get into the

The details you want a lawsuit against his parents because his parents threw away quote his Disturbing collection of 2000 porn tapes he says it was worth 25 grand and I gotta say I don't know 2000 tapes I think it's not the most no it's not the most and I don't know You know, I think it was more of a I think it was more of his parents being upset that he was there at all Let alone they're bringing in porn. He's 42. He had to move back in with his parents I mean, you can blame the fucking economy for that

That's why he's moving back in with his fucking parents also dude. You know what you make you make a great point If I'm his parents, I'm not throwing away his porn. I'm selling it You're not coming into the house. You're actually gonna sell that porno and with that money Sell half of the porno and then you have $12,000 go get an apartment. Do you need 2,000 pornos? Maybe a thousand should do but I just wonder what was so irreplaceable about it He said that this was a collection of often irreplaceable items and property I don't know what that even means. Does that just mean caked over pocket pussies? And he's like, I just finally got there. I finally got the curve

Well, I made an unnatural curve to Ariana Grande's pussy I don't think they sell Ariana Grande's pussy. Well, you're not flesh like you're not too far off So he brought his stash with him. He said he stayed with his parents for 10 months But when he moved out, he didn't yeah, but he didn't bring his porno with him Which he should have but now this is where it gets a little bit nasty The parents claimed that some of it included child porn that he had an affection and what he that he had an addiction And that his attitude towards women was quote Disturbing

This is maybe that's why he got divorced Yeah, it doesn't sound like his pornography was his closest family. I wasn't aware of the child porn Accusation child boy, but how do you win the case? Oh, wait a second. There's no there can't be. Oh, God According to the Daily Mail We're gonna ask them for his 12 boxes Oh, they just said all right No, this comes from the parents perspective that parents had said that they told their son when he moved that he could not bring Pornography into their home or it would be destroyed. They said they gave him a warning

They also contended he had abandoned the property and said he could they he said he could have mitigated his losses You could have mitigated his losses by removing it himself That is true that yes The judge said the parents would not allow him back and then they said that they would not ship his property to him The parents and then had kept some of the materials when he just he said described as the worst of the worst In a safety deposit box concerned It could be illegal auto a sheriff's department review the materials and found no evidence of child pornography They are just talking about gape stuff

Talking about stuff that like you're like even my mom could have up to a point find a Even maybe oh Maybe even some level of hardcore pornography right like some level of dick in pussy dick and ass Pornography that she could at least be like oh at least if this is at least the sign of a healthy young man with the bush area Yeah, but if it's like one of those where you got a prickly pear just like Jammed up a dude's asshole who's dressed as fucking George Washington And he's got car batteries up to his nipples and it's fucking his penis is fucking gauged Like it's got the fucking like rings on it

So you can see it all swollen and jacked up like you could see how this cup this elderly couple from Ottawa, Michigan Not having seen this shit ever before just go like oh my god. This is the deep state I you know I gotta say deep state as I continue Research doing the heavy research that we're doing this week on this story I'm beginning to think the parents maybe we're right because the dude brought 12 boxes of I mean a lot of fucking pornography to hold on to it's because all of this is Honestly, all of this shit should have just been on a hard drive. Yes. So 12 boxes of porno He also had some sex toys. He had a black comforter and he had a tambourine

Yes, I don't know what's going on, but evidently he got all of that back What's the tambourine use for Break I don't even want to know it's hilarious So he said I want my tambourine my black comforter and sex toys in my 12 boxes of porn They said we would like tampering first of all. I want my commemorative rush tampering I must have that because it reminds me of the 25th anniversary tour for rush where I brought it in order to play along with Neil Peart yeah, and you I call him Neil Peart and Also, I want my black comforter back because it's it's special to me

Because it's the first time I busted it to Sasha Gray I was wrapped in that comforter and I was sitting in a parking lot. Yeah, the comments probably still on it What's so funny? You talk about how you know the parents generation our parents generation much more Well, I don't know what more conservative or not anymore when it comes to porno and stuff Who knows my my brother used to read penthouse forums my oldest brother And he would leave them outside of his door or outside of his window because it was by a bush And my mom found him one day. She called up the Catholic school. He was a senior I she called up the Catholic school and over the announcement speaker the secretary said

Eric Hissell, please come to the principal's office. Your mother found your stash Oh my god I know my parents are like, why are you gay? It's like you probably made both of them gay Because you were like women or bad movies don't even think about what about it? You know men are pretty good if you think about it Well, yeah, because then you could just watch sports and jerk off and then you don't know that you're doing covert You know, you're watching something and everybody else is watching for one reason You're watching it for another reason. That's the joy of professional wrestling. There's a lot of different reasons to watch

So this guy had 400 VHS tapes and 1600 DVDs, I guess, you know, wow That's technically I guess at that point you could call it a collection But you know, you know who has these types of collections like John Waters, right? Sure waters has this kind of stuff Famously Paul Rubens has this kind of stuff and each one of them gets in trouble at some point for some old thing They have that depicts like a Swedish farmer and his two young boys

You know swimming naked next to a stream, you know, like some weird shit could be innocent and wholesome if it's if it's normal It depends on what it's next to How you're again, how do you look at how do you look at it? That's a good point I'm looking at it, but you know what I mean, but the reason why they have them is because they are Perennial weirdos. That's their jobs. They collect they collect esoteria They like this shit because it's arcane and weird and speaks towards time periods where this shit was both more covered up and Less covered up than ever before right like kind of harkening back to this age. They're both in nostalgia junkies, too

You know what my favorite porno would be called hmm humans. What can't they do? Humans what can't they do that's actually I can't imagine the levels of depravity That would be in that because it's so innocent and open-ended it sounds like it's medical like it sounds like that would be issued from the Government to kind of describe human beings, but you know, it's just up being like let us see how far this can be inserted into the woman's vagina Oh my goodness the pineapple does get past the labia. Oh, how would it come out though? Oh, that would be bad Well, you only way to get it out is slowly. Yes, absolutely. There's a picture of a Beth and Paul those are those are his parents. Oh my god They look just like a nice Midwestern parents, but you know, I actually don't mind them

This is what the father said. He said frankly David. I did you a big favor getting rid of all this stuff This is all conversations that it should have happened inside of the privacy of their own home Which is hilarious because all of this shit is just now on display. I could see if he had 400 VHS's that were all like Vintage, but you know what would be good. Do you remember when porn was going like a little like mainstream? Do you remember when I believe it was Jesse Jane made Pirates? Yes, of course. They was the most expensive porno of all time And they were really making movies and they were really there was a lot of physical media at the time They were trying to come back and say look at all of this shit that we're adding to porn

I wonder if he it's it's like if that stuff is actually collectible at this point if it's just like Yeah, but there's loads dumb boys one through nine like it's not like you could get that You know like there's more of that out there, but even there's no way there's 1600 proper very well-financed Hollywood films Featuring anal game that maybe there's one, but I don't know but you're right the girlfriend experience starring Sasha Gray She did a great job in that film Yeah, that was sort of a funny time where 2020 was like what is this sex thing? We've heard it. We've been hearing about on the internet. Let's go to Hugh Downs

Kids are getting off more than they ever did before back in my day. We just had to look at a tree and pretended that debts It's weird because I feels like with the advent of only fans and all this kind of stuff happening right now But we're still like locked into all of this puritanical thought about this shit at the same time It is both the most like only thing. I think they said it was like the third most visited Website on the internet this year like I think porno is number one always. It's a massive drop-off to like ESPN comm Yeah, it's it's just weird how it's both so mainstream, but still you know It's like no one wants to talk about it I really feel like as far as I'm concerned talking about sex should be the same thing as talking about the weather

Because it's like everyone everyone wants everyone does everyone does it. We're all here because of it We are just we're not here because of an AR 15. We're here because our parents. They got it on Henry think about that I'd be like my mom wanted to tell you her orgasm trip That's fine like if your mom wanted to tell me the most intense pleasure. She's ever felt it No, I don't want to say but my all I know is Giggling yeah Shut up. I'm not talking about anymore. That's like a traumatized. It's a kid. Yeah, Lane is the only word that I will say This is what the dad said in an email to his son his father Paul wrote

After the kid was like my porno He says I do not possess your pornography. It is gone He goes on to say it is either been destroyed or disposed of I may well have missed a few items That are now in your possession, but at this point if you don't have it it is gone Wow for your sex toys and smutty magazines You're 42 you're going through a divorce Just what a nightmare, but you're also obviously Obviously, you probably needed to be divorced. I mean, I guess you really needed to I guess to have a reassess

You need to sit and think about just how much porn you're lugging around Honestly again, dude think about your think about your fucking global footprint. Just It Have sex with your wife. This is also I actually do love the porn gets in the way of you having sex with your partner It's very very bad like that is where you're slippery slope. You can't like you have to really you got to save the nut I I think that that is I think that's true. It also makes your mind more alert I don't know and actually it helps my workouts if I'm a little bit hard That's the truth. If I'm a little bit hard. I work out better

Uh-huh So Paul he goes on to say and this is why I got it. I will hear something This is what the father says. He says David I find your whole attitude toward women to be very disturbing He says women are not objects for you to masturbate with they are people created by God Just as you were and you should be you and should be retreated with respect and dignity So I actually think that his parents. They're just good Midwest folks and they just were probably I'm happy that they're still alive And they didn't die of a heart attack because they could have killed killed over looking at that much smut

I will say it's but I think it's got something to do with the fact that he's four to two years old This is obviously some kind of choke point this man's in a massive free fall because I remember you guys Did you have your room? Like wiped my mom did that at least I did that I had one big My mom came in my room when I was a high school when I was a senior in high school Because she was certain that I was doing drugs and I did and I because I like my grades Were falling so good and you guys did not do drugs growing up. I was making movies with my friends I literally was making art. I was the most innocent sweet little boy with my boy Jeff Netsburg

What's going on bro? Also Jeff Netsburg just designed the logo for kind of fun. He's incredibly talented Thank you so much Jeff. He's my honestly and also if you he's an incredible graphic designer And it's fucking company went under in this bullshit. You should hires fucking ass but the My mom went through assuming that I was on drugs ripped through the whole room took down my fear of loathing in Las Vegas posters Oh my god, my area 51 poster ripped out all of my drawers But she found my condoms that my father had given me and She found them and she's like this is disgusting. That's not even that's actually the inappropriate response

Yes, because it would have been like high five me. We have a couple fucking bls We go get some wings, you know, I mean like that should have been the fucking When I because I was the youngest of three and my middle brother exhausted my parents He was he was a very turbulent childhood I would say that I had because of him in many ways sure by the time that I got to high school My parents did hands-off they went with a hands-off approach. Yes Yes, I just got to do whatever I wanted to do God that's why you're like you've been you have like been practicing the divorced man life since you're like 17 years old

All right, well any hoot this next story I Actually, I think is very interesting. Okay, this comes from food and wine magazine. So it's classy It's very classy earlier this month. Good meat cultured chicken was approved for sale in And Singapore and now it's headed to its first commercial restaurant Cultured meat, which is now what they're including they're calling it cultured meat Which has gone by many names include lab grown meat clean meat or Slaughter free meat, which actually is very scary too The the question has not been if but when the development of growing animal cells into edible meat has continued

Only the timeline was uncertain back in 2016 an Israeli company called Super Meat even took a guess Suggesting their lab grown chicken would be available, but would be available by July 2021 Turns out they weren't that far off. No, not at all and again I'm actually a massive proponent of this if we can Lower the carbon footprint of the country sure those things very good And it does take the beyond meat does taste very very good But it is kind of trippy when you think about it, but as someone who is also prosa stem cell research I guess we got to be pro-science here and you're like, all right

I think it's interesting. I do think that we're losing our connection to the why Well, we've already been watching a show alone, right? I'm watching the show where guys have to go out I love this show It's another time filler because we have nothing but time to fill and so the show is about people get dropped off into the Middle of society the middle of the fucking Arctic they got to live for as long as they can there's ten people in Competition and the last person to make it to the end like makes it the longest wins five hundred thousand dollars but the thing is is that watching them get meat is Very cathartic and very human and intense because they have to get this

Well, I think that every I think that every vegan as well if they're on a loan and they're actually starving I think that they would eat meat I think it's more of a statement of levels of it. We have so much. We just have so we have we have a excessive amount One could argue right because in America we're obsessed with meat because we all are we are still kind of in the weird 1950s idea of what a meal consists of which is like cube steak baked potato like microwave broccoli Kind of shit. Well, we need to go out and till the fields So we need to have that big hearty Jimmy Dean breakfast

We don't just go right to a computer and sit down for eight hours. We go to the field We're like, oh my god Sewing and tilling but yes nor yes, but my real life is I lay horizontal for about six hours Yeah, I I trudge down the stairs. I go to the refrigerator. I stand in the kitchen. That's exercise I got my steps because I'm standing in there in the kitchen when I eat I eat standing and then I come and sit at this desk And I just sit here. I used to eat jumping on the trampoline thinking that it would just immediately dissipate in my stomach But that it mostly just led to me coughing a lot. That's very scary since 2011 this company It has raised more than 300 million dollars to date and it was last valued at 1.2 billion bucks

So this is the future big money can if they can keep on going with this I have no problem with it obviously from start to finish the process takes 14 days to create the culture chicken and Usually it takes a chicken be from chick to slaughter 45 days. So it's actually a little bit faster. Hmm. And yeah, whatever I wonder how it tastes that is the that's the billion dollar Question, but you know what this means, you know, this begs the question. What is when or when do we start growing that human meat? Well, aren't they already growing human limbs and stuff? Oh, yeah, but when did they grow? Oh science man meat. Why would we eat human when we can create different kinds of meats that aren't human? I don't think because human is very tasty. Well, it's apparently it tastes very

You know, we've talked about this many times it tastes very similar to pork So it's like well, you should just eat pork, but you do it because of the taboo kissle You do it so that for some people it's the most sexually gratifying thing that they'll ever do in their life Ah, I would not want to be them and by 2030 the cell-based meat market is projected to reach a hundred and forty billion dollars So we should get in and out and that's why we want to announce right now last podcast on the left meatless chicken fingers Yeah, we're making them look like human fingers. Oh, that's meatless human fingers That's cool. You know, you mix both best of both worlds That's it. You feel like you're eating a human

That's not even a human boom meatless human fingers. We're also gonna see the advent I think we're gonna see a lot of the the curated culture meat and then I think we're gonna see a lot more people eating bugs Bugs are gonna be huge 2030s bugs. We're all gonna be eating bugs. I mean it They're gonna play this back Because they've already been saying this that because in Africa, that's like one of this new way They're they're trying to create new ways to feed large amounts of people and one way to both help the locus infestation problem It's to get locus and turn it essentially into a type of feed that they kind of mill until like a paste humans

Yeah, and you make them into patties like you make it like like remember man Do you remember a good old-fashioned chicken sandwich from elementary school or high school? Of course remember that disk? I Don't know. I guess it could have been locus meat and I never would know what it is great. Yeah, that's a good point Well, all right everyone. We hope you're having a great Christmas. We hope you're having a great holiday What's the name of the pagan holiday that you like those Saturnalia Saturnalia if you're a Satanist This is actually if you're like me and you're Satanist Then what's nice about these holidays is that they were all stolen anyway from the pagans

So know that when you have if you celebrate Christmas and you have a Christmas tree and you have the stockings You have listening you are already celebrating Saturnalia like it is it is all of the trappings of an ancient holiday And the best part about being a Satanist too is that you don't have to pretend like there's any meaning to the season You can just get gifts and drink booze and of course Jesus is the reason for the season So I never forget that he is he's on the box. He has risen. He's like bread Like I have and it's because I have not masturbated today Well, maybe if the pagans were eating a little bit more hardcore fiber a little bit more hardcore protein They wouldn't have things stolen from them so much. Did you ever think about that?

No, I do because they did the Vikings the Vikings came in the name of the Lord and they were full of bison me There's a lot of inaccuracies in what you're saying, but the spirit that you have I appreciate Because I appreciate you I do it. I'm gonna even say that to you kiss. Oh my nemesis slash friend I appreciate you this nemesis You're it's the tension. It's this tension that is like will they fight or will they kiss where they fuck? But that keeps the show alive So vibrant and real I am so happy to learn your thought process on why the show is doing so amazing guy I just I but I appreciate your lack of ability to know what how a clock works. Sure

I mean, I actually nailed that. Yeah, I mean physically. I appreciate you appreciating my in my Do you appreciate me and that is why we're here to tell all of you Merry Christmas And no, of course, I appreciate you. I love you Henry I mean you hear that be that we have a happy that we have we are getting through 2020 and again doing the best we can it's a really good time to catch up with people that you have not talked to in a long time You never know what a phone call or it actually start with the text because phone calls are actually a little bit jarring Yeah, I am I am a I go on long walks and I make calls And I yell

And the whole neighborhood can hear yeah, because you have to yell through a mask show me the turkey I know mmm. No, but that's the best person. I go fucking by myself a turkey dog. I was on you this year though Are you you're having lasagna for Christmas? Oh, yeah Well, that's not a traditional and lamb That's a little bit more traditional because the then you're eating God the lamb. Yes, then you're eating Jesus I'll eat his fucking dick and balls all day, but it was on you in our house is very that's very tradition now Yeah, it goes makes sense. All right everyone. Well hail yourselves. Thank you for listening My goose deletions. Hail Satan. Let's have a nice year and make sure you know what I'm just gonna do a live

laugh Love take the three L's turn them upside down. That's three sevens. Well, it's not that's not three sevens That's very lucky So take your triple L's for one day flip them over to seven. Yes, it is yeah, and it's lucky. That's a big winner That is a big winner. All right everyone hail yourselves. We'll chat with you soon hail Satan man With so much effort in this episode hail me. Whoo This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com. You