Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Hereditary

Episode Date: June 21, 2018

Ben, Henry, and Marcus hold a Side Stories seance to talk about the new horror flick Hereditary. SPOILER ALERT, FOR REAL. DO NOT LISTEN WITH YOUR EARS IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN HEREDITARY WITH YOUR EYES.

I've been shot a short film with my neighbor Kirk Larson this weekend. Was it a short film because you were in it? No fuck yourself. And I was sitting on an incline for quite a while full of rocks and stuff. My fucking B-hole is terrorized. Like it still hurts. Really? Yeah, I'm like really sore and then the top of my head got all burnt through the thinning hair that I have and it's the type of problem that would you say is correct where I don't get any sympathy.

No, just laugh that. But it also takes my quality of life down about like 12%. Yeah. It hurts to wear a hat. Yeah. And that's not good. Welcome to Side Stores, everyone. I am Ben Gissel with Henry Zabrowski and Marcus Parks is joining us today.

Oh yeah. We're all here in the Los Angeles studio together. This Los Angeles studio, I have to say, it smells totally wholesome and good. No, it's because Holden fucking McNeely was staying here from Round Table Gentlemen in Wizard of the Bruiser. He was living here and you know how he goes where he was like, hey, you got me to fucking hook up with the fucking Nug this week, man. And he's just like, you don't need a hookup.

No, none at all. It's Los Angeles. You just go to the store. Get out of the store and just get it. So, but he just blasted it out in here of just every day. He's just like, I don't got my fucking girlfriend here, man. I got my inflatable bed. I got my fucking towel for a shower, man.

It's like really happy with the inflatable bed. Like overjoyed. He was just like, it's just totally good, man. Think about inflatable bed, man, as he goes anywhere you want to fucking put it, man. It's like, yeah. Oh, yes. The joys of the friendship that we all share with Holden McNeely. Absolutely.

It is funny how much you hate seeing him remotely close to happy. It's grating. Yeah. It hurts the soul. But it's good to have everybody here on the whistle. Yeah, dude. It's great to be here, man. This is two box fucking realm, dude.

Yeah, man. I can't wait for part three. We're going to get to the murders, so no need to freak out. I promise you it will be covered. We tried another narrative form. Yeah. And I'm sorry that change is difficult for some. But it will be fine. It's not even a different narrative form.

I mean, it's still a linear story, but you still have to explain who the players are in the story. And in order to explain who the players are in the story, you have to explain how we know who the players are in the story. You're at fault. You are culpable, Marcus. It's not a different narrative form at all. But we all say the exact same. I think we do it. I'm going to give a little bit of a caveat here for this episode.

Spoiler alert. We're going to talk a little bit about the movie Hereditary, because we all three saw it. And so if you haven't seen it yet, go see it and then come back and listen to this episode. Yeah, pause it. Yeah, pause it. Tell your family to just shut the fuck up for a second. Go over it. And honestly, do what I did.

I had a couple of pretty solid edibles. I got these little gummy squares, like little gum. Ten milligrams? There were five milligrams each, but I did two of them because that's kind of my norm. That would be cool. And then what I knew, my favorite thing to do is I bring my fucking packs into the free ads, please buy ads for us packs. Surely.

I take it into the bathroom and I do a thing where I did now with Natalie. It's like fun because I go, I go, I have to take a pee and I go wink, wink, wink, wink. And she's like, just say you're going to smoke weed in the bathroom. Because what I do is I go into the stall right before the movie and I fucking, I vape it up in the stall because weed comes out of it. You probably just do that in the theater. No, you can't smoke inside. You're not supposed to smoke inside.

I'm fucking reckless. Fucking records, man. Ruthless records. I guess. So you don't want to get like pee-weird Herman, but instead of looking at smart, you're like smoking weed in the back of a movie theater. Yeah, I don't think that that's so bad. Yeah, it's not that bad.

It's definitely not Ruthless records level. No, I don't think so. Let me have this. No. This is all I have. But it's like we're out here. Yeah. So I got really high for it, which in the end was like a massive mistake.

You think so? Yeah. Well, it's because, um, well, I guess we're going to get into this. We can get into it. I saw it at, uh, at Nighthawk cinemas in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. Had a couple of beers, a couple of whiskeys, a couple of tater tots and some beef jerky. And it was, uh, it was a great experience, man. It's fantastic.

I can imagine going to see in that movie high. That sounds like a fucking terrifying nightmare. I got so much beef jerky. I do have to clarify because I kept on writing it down. We got three beef jerkeys. And then the second time she came back and she's like, did you really want more beef jerky? Did I? Did I stutter when I wrote it down?

Well, it probably did look like it was like stuttered. You're just grabbing beef jerky from other places. Nighthawk is specifically very good jerky. Oh, so good. You drew me onto that. Yes. I get popcorn and beef jerky whenever I go and I get a fucking couple of slammers. Those six-point beers are so good.

Oh, so good. Would you say though that, that, uh, hereditary is one of the more divisive movies that I've heard of in quite a while? I guess so. It's one of those, when I came out of it, there was, there was a scene at the end of hereditary. Renadily and I literally were gripping each other so hard and I was involuntarily going, oh! I started yelling, which I never do.

Was this the, was again, spoiler alert, was this when she was like taking the, what I believe to be, clay wire? I think she used that to, yeah. It was like the worst kind of flossing. That was fucking awesome. That was awesome. By then I was just like, yay, yay, yay. Once it clicked into like the second half of the third act where it just goes ape shit,

I was just like, I find that that is the divisive part of the movie. The part that scared me was when she was, when she was doing the fucking crouching tiger up on the back of the wall and then ran at him through the house, like her son. We were both like, oh, like starting to scream. Well, we've all been, we've all been there. We've all had our parents chase us down the hallway. Oh yeah, in a silent floating way. Yay, that's what we thought.

Super creepy, no sound, kind of swimming in the air, which was fucking awesome. What's the name of that lead actress? That would be Toni Collette. Toni Collette. She crushed him. I'm just super pissed because we know she's going to be nominated for like comedy of the year because they refuse to recognize horror as a genre. It's drama.

It'll be a drama. Yeah, maybe it'll be a drama. All horror to me, the best horror, and that's what her editorie did really well, is that it is drama with very high stakes. And so you basically take anything that's like where exorcists work really well or get out where it has themes, where it's trying to express, and there's like an idea, there's like a hook, but at the same time, it's drama turned up to 15 because the stakes are life and death, and you're adding maybe a supernatural element, but that's what, to me, when horror

is at its best, which is stuff like this movie, which again, I don't know why is so divisive. I don't know. It's genuinely very scary, except for the fact that hype ruins things for people. Ruins them. Because everyone needs to, I don't know why everyone feels like they need to do some conversation. I think one of the reasons why horror doesn't do as well with dramatic critics is because for some stupid fucking reason, everybody has to relate to everything.

It has to all be about them, and if it's not a specific situation, like a boring fucking situation, that they can plug into their own lives, they don't get it, and they think it has no worth, which is stupid. I mean, who can't relate to a peanut allergy? That's what the girl had. Everyone has a peanut allergy. That was pretty badass, though. Again, huge spoiler alert, but when her head got popped off in that post, I was like, this

is so crazy. Another round of beef jerky please. A part of what we were talking about, when Natalie and I, like after, because by that point, we're just like, ugh, because when she'd get her head knocked off, and it's got that scene of like that minute. I was totally stunned, though. Of that kid, of her son just like staring, and realizing what he did. And I think they did that scene perfectly.

They did that scene perfectly because he was obviously still stoned. Like, he had that look on his face, like, you know, when you're stoned, and you fuck up so bad. Isn't that what it was? Is the spirit going to do him then? No, no, no, no, no. I thought the spirit went into him, the one that was in the girl. That all hinges on the ritual at the end.

The ritual at the end was supposed to be switching her spirit into him. So he was just her spirit into him. That was, that's what that was? Yeah, yeah. Oh. He was just super stoned, and just trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. Because his reaction was not exactly about to save a life. It's like when you do, you know, like, have you ever had a life-changing injury?

Like, honestly, like, had a thing that then has haunted you ever since? Like, when I cut the tip of my thumb off, where it's like, there's like a hot second where it's like, I cut an inch of my thumb off. And then you're looking at it for a while being like, is this real? Yeah. Did I just really fuck up this bad? Like, how bad is this? Can't be that bad.

And then he turns around, and all of a sudden you fucking knock your sister's head off. Right. It's so like, he, that was a great moment. That was interesting, man. I mean, I got a basketball. My knee is hurting me. I've been doing some layups. And I've been shooting with my left hand for my left-handed layups.

That's nice. That's great. I really gotta see you do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's go ball. Let's go ball. Yeah. I didn't bring it with me to LA because I'm not, like, special needs.

I can't just travel with the basketball everywhere. Although with my basketball. Yeah. Have you seen my basketball? Like, what is it, something about Mary? Like the brother in something about Mary in baseball? You have my baseball? Yeah.

You know, when the girls had got fucking knocked clean off, like they didn't, because you think like it's just going to be something that they forget about, that they're not going to show, because the kid goes home with the body still in the car and then just goes to bed. And you think like, okay, she's screaming off screen. She's screaming off screen. We're not going to see it. And then they fucking hard cut to the little girl's head, covered in ants on the side of

the road. Which is a ring cut. That's what I liked about it. That was cool. It was like the cutting to the victim where it was such a punch in the fucking gut. I don't understand why you just went to bed though. Like, I just feel like, wake up mom. Yeah.

I just, I don't know if you would get a great night's sleep. He seemed to sleep well. But that's also like part of the themes of the movie, or at least as far as the themes of that character is the refusal to take responsibility. Yes. All of them not looking at what's happening in the house and not understanding what's growing. But I think that's a part of, but that part of the movie, we were so exhausted emotionally.

And that was only 45 minutes in. Yeah. And so a part of it's like, like the movie Killing of a Sacred Deer. It was a semi supernatural movie that was based mostly, mostly upon the fear of like your family and fear of like emotional trauma and that that's kind of what was the dark driving aspect of that movie. So after Killing of Sacred Deer, it was like, Jackie and I watched it in the middle of a Sunday afternoon and we were just traumatized.

We're just like, oh, what the fuck did I just put in my brain? In the middle of hereditary, we're like, I'm so exhausted emotionally. The fact that it goes super gonzo at the end for me is what saves the movie. Yeah. I agree. It makes it not just a cry fest, not just a like Lars von Trier, how deep can we twist your emotions. It's now like, okay, you jumped into John around a way that I fucking love.

But some people were like, they were like in the scene, dumb and dumber when they got two paths and they're like, well, let's go to Colorado and they're like, John Denver is full of shit. Like a lot of people, that was where they, they started to hate the movie. Yeah. But I don't get it. If they agree, when the little girl's head got caught. That's like halfway through.

And then either you loved it from there or that's where people started to change. I was unsure at that moment, like when that happened, because, you know, when it started getting all of like the grief stuff, yeah, I was at when the grief stuff started happening. I was like, okay, this is like, there needs to be something else here. And then when the supernatural stuff started, when the other woman, the other which the undercover, which needs to be a show immediately make that happen with that too. When Joan and her becoming friends, I was like, is this like a bad movie? Like are they just like throwing this relationship in there?

And then when the, all the say-ons happen and things are jumping, like I started laughing thinking, you know, like, because she's having that reaction where she's like, what the fuck? What's supposed to be funny? Yes. It's a break in tension. Well, you look at it, but it's also like a thing where like, man, are they really rushing this whole supernatural thing? And then at the very end of the movie, you're like, oh, it was a fucking scam.

The whole thing was her just being like, you just say this thing and just do this. I don't even know what language it is. Right. You know what's cool about the language is the language that they used. It's a combination of Hebrew and Anakian. Awesome. Yeah. Just very much steeped in actual lore.

So again, massive spoiler alert. This is the end of the movie. When the dude becomes King Payman, that's a real story. Payman is very much a real story. King Payman is a, he's the ninth demon in the, what was the eighth? That actually ninth. He's the ninth. He's actually the ninth.

Why would they not do the ninth then? They called him the eighth. He's a better number. Nope. The ninth because it goes, there's King Biel, Duke Agarrus, Prince Visago. Marquis Samidina. They sound like such nerds. No, dude.

I don't know. They all sound like guys that like getting spankin' people, but also being in charge of emo pants. I'm not going to criticize them. There's President Marbus. That's awesome. There's Duke Valifor, Marquis Amon, Duke Barbatos, King Payman is number nine, and he's followed by President Buer and Duke Gushin.

Now, Duke Gushin, man, I can't wait. I can't wait to be Duke Gushin later. Yeah, I, my question, where do you find that source? What is that from? I mean, that was just from, I went to the Wikipedia page for Payman and then went to the Wikipedia page for The Lesser Key of Solomon, which The Lesser Key of Solomon. That's what it is. Yeah, it all comes from The Lesser Key of Solomon, so all this stuff comes from ancient

grimoires. Well, ancient like a couple thousand years old, but yeah, this is all steeped in like grimoire lore that eventually like Oster Crowley ended up using in the order of the Golden Dawn. So all of this stuff, because King Payman actually does have its roots back in Mesopotamia. And that's another cool thing is that originally King Payman was a female goddess, like a lot of those Babylonian gods were. And that's what they started in the film, too?

Yeah, they started in the film and that eventually was turned into like more of a male thing as the patriarch, he started getting more of a, you know, started really like getting into the gods and all that and all the female gods were, you know, pretty much swiveled. Yeah, all the female gods were scuttled and switched to male gods. So this whole like King Payman thing is like, he's the, he's a lord of hell, very, very loyal to Satan. And it's like, he's like a Stephen Miller. He's a king of like knowledge, like if he, and he's also kind of, which is what they

bring up in the movie about the idea they use in to be, the idea is to give them knowledge and ultimate power. And I got to say, just the middle aged front bodies in that just powerful, wonderful magic users look like. Yes. Do you realize that that was the group therapy? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That was the group therapy. It was all a setup. I didn't notice that at all. And actually Carolina noticed, she went inside again. She noticed like a cool detail where a lot of the shots have six objects in them. So it's like, yeah. And so these like weird things where it's like six, six, six, like that's all over the movie

where it's like very, it's not obvious, but she started like counting shit and noticed a lot of the shots had exactly six objects. You know, everything that was done in that movie, regardless if you liked it or not, you can't say it was a bad movie because it was shot great and it was intentional. You know, like so many, I feel like a lot of horror movies just, they end up like, I don't know how to end the damn thing. And they just sort of like trail off into whatever. But also the success of get out was the same exact thing is it was hunting for a theme

and it expressed an idea that was unique and using horror tropes and themes and being super entertaining at the same time where it's like hereditary, not only showed a lot to do, had a lot to do with magical ritual, which was really fucking cool the way that they folded all that in. But also it was about these weird family themes that were uniquely expressed. My fucking takeaway was that the movie was about how the grand, like it's essentially a movie about narcissistic matriarchs and that the grandmother did not get the love that she wanted from her own family enough to her satisfaction that she joined a cult that then

made her a queen of it and then she sacrificed everybody that wasn't a part of her vision of what her life should be, which is what the whole family was about. Hug your mother. Just go hug your mother because you never know when she's going to flip, join a cult, put a massive curse on you and your family and then you lose your daughter and your son really. And then you have to saw your own head off, which that's horrible. I also thought like when I saw the ants, remember that movie, Joe's apartment?

Yeah. It was so stupid. It was about cockroaches in it, right? And there was a cockroach handler that brought all the cockroaches. Was there someone who just like, I got the ants. Yeah. Like I'm the ant guy who goes to all the Hollywood sets because there are like rules. Yeah.

You can't hurt the ants. Yeah. Those are actors. Those are actor ants. Maybe these were actors. You can't hurt those and they come in big buckets. Yes. They're like, this is what I do and he probably makes like 300,000 bucks a year just bringing

the ants. Oh yeah. Ant handler is a big thing. Yeah. All those bug guys. When you meet the world of bug guys, but it's a problem, they're always wearing like safari hats and it's always a lot of netting and they're closed because you're like, sometimes my cast.

That's what I call them. My cast advance. They get into my bed and make everything all squirrely-wirly because you also have to get willing ants. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course they have to be able to do it on camera.

The themes go in the movie. It could also be a movie about what people are willing to give up for power, how people are like, because she sacrificed an entire family for power and that's it. Just power. Yeah. And it could also be, because at the core, it's a movie about family. Right. That's it.

No matter what the outside themes of that are, the whole movie is definitely about family. Also got to show massive props to whoever got lit on fire, when the husband got lit on fire, I was like, they are really engulfing that person. There was a lot of flames on that dude right now. And forgot to stop, drop and roll too. He just stood there. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it.

Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Yes. The swearing mix, I yield. That is what you do to survive a bear attack though.

Yeah, yeah, well no, what do we know? It's a Black Attack, Brown, Get Down, White, Good Night, that's hoping. I did that once during the Robert Hansen episodes and a bear person told me that I was correct. Hey, all right, look at that. Oh, another cool thing about the mother that was like a small detail, but also like kind of a nod to actual possession was when she said that her mother suffered from DID, which is Disassociative Identity Disorder, which is what a lot of people, that's what exorcism is often diagnosed as.

Yes, and I also liked it when she first came in after... And not exorcism, possession. Yes, and after the, when she first came in after the first say on some of the house, and she comes in and she's like, it smells awful in here. And I was like, the first thing I was like, oh, that's demon, that's demon possession. Right. She always smells like farts. Yeah.

She's spoken to it because that's what the whole, the thing that she told her to read in order to speak to her daughter. Like that was a demon summoning. Right, right, right, right. Yeah. It's awesome. I mean, it's cool, man. I like the idea of just a bunch of randos at a funeral.

That's kind of fun. And Marcus, you need to start meeting more people because we talked about this last night and you need to meet more people. I have enough. I think of... We're all going to die before you. Yeah, what happens after Alina gets it? What if she gets the demon?

What do you think you're going to get the demon? You don't know. I know she's not going to get the demon. She's Colombian. She comes from a line of brujas. Yeah, man. And who knows what you're doing that off. She doesn't come from a line of brujas.

I mean, she does. She has been studying, what is it, Santoria like really hard for the last two weeks. That's a good, buddy. It's not a good idea. Look at that. I wonder if the dog from Sublime is still alive. Oh, Bradley. Oh, it was cute.

No way. Was that the name? I don't remember. I think it was just dog. Yeah. But it's got to be kind of trippy. Just a bunch of random strangers at a funeral that you don't know where they came from or whatnot, but I like that they just started the movie off there and the trailer actually

I didn't I only watched it one time with when I closed because I try to keep it. You were hammered. That's what you mean. Some kind of film is a short film, but they didn't actually give anything away or not too much away. They did a good job with the trailer as opposed to 99.9% of horror movie trailers, which you don't have to watch the movie after you see the damn thing. Yeah, I watched the trailer like a few months ago and just was like, I went to the other

room and got Caroling. I was like, watch this. We have to see this fucking movie. And then I watched it again, watched the trailer again today and it makes sense in retrospect. But when you're watching it, it's like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. It gives away nothing at all. Why are we now in a world though, where there are like in a world, but why are we in a world

where there are these like tentpole horror movies? You know what I mean? Because now every year there's always like, this is the good horror like usually it's a conjuring movie. Something is either or that James Wan movie James Wan has been like the tentpole horror guy for years. For a while. And then, but there's also stuff like last year.

I mean, get out was obviously the big one that was the tentpole and like the scary one was killing of a sacred deer. Right? Yeah. It was kind of pair one and two where one's like a super poppy one and then one is like Halloween's coming up. There's a lot of Halloween remake is going to is being made. I know.

I'm like quite a bit skeptical, but apparently John Carpenter likes it and I was talking to someone who meant went to John Carpenter's home and spoke with him and he said he wouldn't lie because he just doesn't care about anything. So he said it was good. No. And it's like the trailer looks really fun. It's I'm excited to see what they do with it. How much do you think TSA agents love little rel and get out like is there ever a TSA?

No TSA is ever depicted properly or no, well, which I think is that they are annoying. That's all. That movie. Little role to me is obviously the breakout of that whole movie. He was the best part of it. And he said that like, yeah, he's just gets all he gets is fucking high fives. You should do all by the TSA when he goes through. That's a brilliant idea.

We fly so much. Yeah. We've got to make friends with TSA agents and pilots. Yeah. Because the other ones will help you out if you do something stupid. Like if you bring something, they'll let you bring your shampoo and little rel can do whatever he wants. He's a hero.

Oh yeah. He's a hero. It's great movie. That's a brilliant idea. You just worked with him though. You should do a humble brag. I did. Oh, on KB's project.

I worked in Kevin's project, but then I was working. I mean, we've done a bunch of shit with little rel because they're friends of the people. And he's great. He's always been super generous and they're very like get out to great movie. I'm excited to see what Jordan Peele does now. I hopefully it doesn't all just kind of like go up to his head. I imagine there's a lot of pressure to come up with the follow up. He's got a bunch of like shit in pre-pro that he's working on.

Well, the only thing that makes me feel like okay about the fact that it seems like a bunch of comedians are making the new Halloween, which I don't love, but Jordan Peele does such a great job with get out and comedy and horror is very, very similar because maybe it's good. I just don't want it to be like. I don't know. I just don't want to be cute. No.

I don't want to be mean. Yeah. And I want Michael Myers to be as brutal as humanly possible. And I don't know. I'm just a little bit worried that they're going to hand it up. No cute. No winks. No, nothing like that.

Because that's one thing I loved about hereditary is like like horror is very much a genre that's really big on homage. Yeah. It's really big on like reference, but sometimes it can be done in a way that takes you completely out of the movie. Yeah. But with hereditary, it was very subtle. Like a lot of people are comparing it to the Exorcist, which I don't get it all, but

what it should be compared to is the shining. Yes. Yeah. Shots in it that mimic the shine. Like when they showed Tony Collette with her mouth open and her eyes open like silently having like, you know, that look of surprise that totally mimics the shot of Danny in the shining. And then there's also a long panic like when Tony Collette is like walking down the stairs

and walking like across the room. I think she's sleepwalking or something. There's this slow pan that also like mimics another shining shot. I am a little bit pissed off. They missed the opportunity to make a earnest, goes to camp reference with. It's modeling clay. Modeling clay. Modeling clay.

Modeling clay. But that's all right. It's erroneous. What can you do? Not every movie can have an earnest, goes to camp reference, although I wish that every movie somehow by law was forced to. What I like about hereditary is like you can say whatever you want about it, but it had a lot of passion.

Yeah, it did. And it was made really well. You can say it's not your taste, but you can't say it's a bad move. No. I mean, you could say whatever. I mean, obviously you could say whatever you want. You could be live in the wrong that you are for your whole life. You could just sit in a bucket of how wrong you are because you're allowed to.

It's a free country. Yeah. But it also did good with the with the shocks. I also saw Upgrade this week. How is Upgrade? Oh, I heard that was really fun. It's pretty corny, but the kills in it. Yeah.

Make it something else. I also want to see Upgrade. Hotel Artemis was a fucking abortion. Hotel Artemis? Yeah. No good. The fuck is Hotel Artemis? I've never heard of that at all.

Yeah. I feel like I'm like a little bit aware. It's essentially a Kmart version of John Wick where they went and they did a not-insult Kmart. Because they also released an X. John Wick? I mean, let's be honest. But no, they basically took the idea of the assassin hotel hospital and they made a whole

movie about it. But instead of like making it good, they made it like really bad or it was like a 90 minute movie and there's like no violence until 80 minutes in and it's like it is a hotel of assassins. They should be murdering each other. Every second. The second the movie starts. Yeah.

Action, action, action. How do you mess that up? It's just all quirky fucking conversations and every one of the superstars in the movie needs to have a two minute monologue about those characters and everything's all about like, yes, but she misses a child. But he was saved by her as a proxy child and, oh, Jeff Goldblum, he's fun and he does like, he does good in it for like 30 seconds and then he's over it fucking, what's the name?

How much do you think he got paid for that 30 seconds? I can't imagine. This is another trend that I've noticed too is the quirky true crime thing. I'm sick of that. I'm so sick of it. Just kill each other. It's so, yeah. I don't know what they're trying to do with it, but it's, yes, it's the like, like the

assassin that's like kind of, it's kind of quirky. It's kind of weird. We're going to be doing the Iceman here in the very near future. There's nothing quirky. There's nothing cute. No. It's assassins are. He's a walking shroud of death.

Yes. He shows up, you know you're going to die and you beg and you scream and he's like, it's my job to kill you. And he's like, that's it. And he just fucking kills you. There's no emotion. There's no like back and forth. No, the cute.

They were assassins. They've gotten to this point. They're at a hospital. Like it's supposed to be like, it's supposed to be fair game, which gives us this fucking, it's supposed to be like, you know, no one gets murdered here. You know, like that's the idea of it. So then what you should be doing is. Rules are made to be broken.

You're breaking the rules for us. That's hilarious. So don't go see Hotel Artemis. Yeah. Evidently horrible name. I have to say. Yeah. I don't want to be like a troll here in that.

Maybe I would like the movie. Hotel Under the Sea. Oh, that actually sounds good. That would be kind of a hotel under the sea. A hotel under the sea. Yeah. It's like a murder. It's a mermaid hotel.

That's what it sounds. It sounds like a mermaid hotel. And they have fish sex. The weird fish. And you have to give them an Oscar. Yeah. You'd have to give them an opportunity. Water was good.

Yeah. I love shape of water. It's not fucking great. It's a lot more fucking slapping some beans in it than I thought there was going to be that made me really enjoy it. Yeah. Yeah. I love it.

I don't love it. I was just like, hell yeah, man. All right. I was going to be leaving this movie. I thought I was going to be filled with wonder. I don't even know. And it was. All right.

But also beans. Bean kids. Look out, buddy. It's a Siskel and Ebert episode. I love that. I love that. Yeah. I just, I want more hereditary.

I'm going to go see it again. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to go see it again too. I'm really hoping Rob Zombie's new movie Evidently. He's making one. Okay. I really hope it's good.

31 was kind of low. 31, he did a sleep. He was, I don't know if he was like half in the bottle of a tequila or half in the tequila bottle or what happened, but he aided that movie. And I think he was just mad at us for some reason. He just was. And I don't know if we're made of man. Like Rob just come back.

I love you. It's because America didn't, like when he said, I'm making a hockey comedy, America didn't go, yay. But they honestly, they should have because he would do a great job making a hockey game. No, man. I want you to make horror movies. Honestly. I want him to do what he wants to do.

I know. Because when he does what I'm doing, it's 31. Yeah. So anytime you make an artist do what they don't want to do, it's going to be fucking off. It's like they're punishing you. Yeah. They want to punish you for it.

Oh, this is what you want. Oh, you want horror, huh? Here it is. And then he takes a big dump on your fucking desk. I rescind. I rescind and I back away, which I understand. But it's like, how does, I don't understand how anybody complains about horror. Yeah.

I don't know how you, like, I like, that's, I will say, but. Oh, God. But it's not that they complain. Like, I don't get why people take horror so personally. Because I also don't get why people take anything so personally. Anything, any type of content personally. Like the idea of like, the last Jedi was literally the only good Star Wars movie. Is it really the last one?

I'm going to maybe, I'm going to maybe say it's the only actually good Star Wars movie. Empire Strikes Back. Yeah. And I'll disagree with you. Like, I didn't really like the last Jedi. Where? I don't care. George George.

It's fine. I'm not going to, I'm not going to get mad at you for that. I mean, I didn't, like that's like, I did like kind of, I took preacher like a little bit personally, but then, but then I corrected myself because I realized how big of an idiot I was being. And then I ended up liking the show. Yeah, you're fine with it. It's just whatever. It's just like, you either let it segue it in or like, I always believe that what's

we did is that if we didn't like the state of the art we were watching, you go and you make something, you go and you, you try to change it for yourself. And understand that right now these, all of these movies are bloated. And guess what? We're in the middle of a movie bubble. And what I think is going to happen is that that bubble is going to pop. I think the fact that they have decided to chart our lives out for us and tell us exactly what the 12 superhero movies that are coming out over the next like fucking, was it literally

over a decade? Yeah. They've already told us what the movies are and what we are, what we need to be excited by. Like it's a fucking mandate from the government. Yeah. I'm kind of excited about it. Sure.

I like the movies. I love superhero movies. I understand this idea of like this, this huge pipeline of content that I'm supposed to constantly be talking about all the time and all the way and like, and, and I don't know. Like, I liked it. I liked that pool too. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just I, with the Marvel movies, it's like, okay, so I know like me and Carolina are going to have like a fun movie experience, like almost a guaranteed fun movie experience every like three, six months or so. But I feel like when you, when you are releasing the tension of any sort of surprise. Surprise. Over time. Did they really do the, the decade is planned out?

Yes. Yeah. It's like phase one, phase two, phase three. Multiple phases. It just gets to a point where like, well, what do you have to like look forward to? You have, there's no surprises. There's no like, you, it's already locked in. It's already like, you've already told me how I'm spending my money for the next decade.

And by the time I'm get to 30, 44, when these movies are over, I'm going to be dead of the fucking, you know, like, who knows what's going to happen for now. I can't be planning what I'm doing. No. All we know is you're going to, you've got a bunch of sunburn on your head. I also don't want to know about, I also don't want to know about the movie industry. I'm not in the movie industry. Why am I, why am I privy?

Like why am I privy to Marvel's, uh, like industry plan for like, that's a shareholders meeting. That's not a fucking press release. I guess they view us as shareholders. We are shareholders and I'm going to reference the Green Bay Packers got to the only team that'll never move back attack, but it's obviously us, which is us sitting on a stump being old men yelling at each other about how times have changed and they're different than when we were younger.

That is very true. And, and from a movie perspective, action movies anyway, or superhero movies better and horror. I mean, I think horror is doing very well. I think we're in a good spot. I just love all, except for hotel Artemis, evidently. That's not horror. That was technically an action movie.

That was just, it wasn't very good, but horror, I view everyone as my child. Every movie I see is a little boy that came out of my penis and I sit and I think about him and I love each horror film. I think each horror film special, even the bad ones. I like all of them. I really do. It's the most empathetic point of view you've ever expressed and it's kind of in a strange way, but it's the only one I have.

Yeah. It's like they're really the one thing where it's like, there's the horror can do no wrong as far as I'm concerned. It's just like, thank you for trying to entertain me. Yes. So the most part horror is the bastion for independent filmmaking. There's so much. And if there's so many original ideas still in horror, there is.

I think you can still sell a horror script. And the nice thing is you can go anywhere. You can go to outer space, make it aliens, make it paranormal, make it just a person who's crazy. Like there's a lot of really fun stuff. I still love Critters 4 and we'll watch it like once every couple of years. Critters in space. My favorite Critters.

Critters in space. Jason X, when he, you know, you put these people in space and you got a lot to talk about. Critters 1 didn't have enough Critters. I'm going to argue Critters 2 had too many Critters because that Critter Ball was a little crazy. Me and Ben did have a very long conversation the other day about like how many Critters is too many Critters.

I like jamming the Critters and I want a million Critters because we never actually got to Critter Planet. It was like the original Puppet Master where they're like, we cut to the puppets at the very end. The whole thing's looking human drama. Puppet Master 2, just like they understand, just to fucking 25 bucks. Puppet Master is an underrated franchise, by the way. Those are so entertaining.

They're ridiculous. I like the guy with the little screw head. Puppet Master is underrated. I think, I really do think Child's Play is underrated. Absolutely. They are very scary. You know what else is underrated? The Leprechaun series.

I love Leprechaun. Leprechaun, I'll say whatever you fucking, if you told me, if you even try to attempt to tell me that Warwick Davis gave anything less than 110% I would fucking drag you down into the street in a way along the way. All Warwick Davis does is work hard. That motherfucker leaves it all on the dance floor. What a nightmare that must have been actually the Leprechaun. But he's chewed up scenery.

He's super funny. He's funny. He makes a lot of funny little jokes. He's super evil. He runs funny. He's good, man. He's messed. And another space one.

Like, had Leprechaun in space. And you went to space. And Leprechaun in the hood is actually an almost poignant conversation about race. There's like, there's almost an actual conversation about the problems of inner-city life. Yeah, Leprechaun in Las Vegas, they do hit on gambling addiction. How dangerous that can be and how they can really destroy your family and greed is bad. That's also a good point. Greed's bad.

Well, that's what Critters 4 was all about. And most of the Alien movies. There it is. Well, Aliens, at least. That is true. Yeah. Alien is technically about the dangers of capitalism. Yeah, it really is.

Yeah. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening to the side stories. It's just a couple of friends hanging out with each other and we love you all very, very much. Just jerking off each other just right before we come. Yeah, that's how we always start the show is we all eat each one of us as hard as possible. I thought we weren't going to industry secrets.

I'm sorry. Industry secrets. I forget to not tell all. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Social media, Ben Kissel 1, Instagram, Marcus Parks for everything, Henry loves you, Dr. Fantasty for Instagram, Henry loves you on Twitter. Very good.

Not sure if I'm going to get back on it. I don't know. Why would you? I don't know. I got back out. You got out. Yeah, never go back in. Don't go back in.

Break out. You have to. You really have to. Yeah. We'll see if it works. Anything else? Very good. Hail yourselves, everyone.

McGusillations. Triple L, man. Triple L. Triple L? Live, laugh, and learn. Live, laugh, and learn. Love, laugh, and learn. Live, laugh, laugh.

You don't even remember what's your triple L. Laugh, love, live. Now, you ask Guy Fieri where he is at, like, what location he's at at any time he will never... He won't know. No, no. I'm either at Columbus or I'm in Akron. It's the life, the perfect life.