Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Hex the Moon

Episode Date: July 23, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: the son of a judge is shot dead, baby witches are hexing the moon, a Mississauga man ties used condoms to cars, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories We're in studio together yes, we are clean Kind of I'm not that clean. Are you dirty, baby? Are you doing dirty, baby? Somebody is a dirty little baby I can't believe you're doing this we have not been in studio together in like Nobody's clean Nobody's seen underneath my diaper I don't want to look at you. You're so disgusting. Oh, what if the fold above my little baby penis is brown

Okay, well then Sandra Bullock is gonna use it and inject it into her face so she can look like she did in Speed and speed oh, yeah the foreskin cream the foreskin cream it works though You got to grind up all the foreskin We I mean honestly when it comes down to it is they're just sitting there. They're just sitting in buckets They're just yeah, you what do you do you throw out a bucket full of foreskins? You're supposed to throw them away, but they sell them. It's a multi-billion dollar industry They're selling foreskins and celebrities are injecting those foreskins into their faces Why are we starting the episode like this? This is side stories. I am bad. I'm with Henry. You brought this up

Yes, you brought this up celebrities are injecting Foreskin into their faces so every time you see them smile know that you're looking at a series of little dicks Smiling right back at you. Well, what do you want? Do you want? What do you mean? These four skins were just sitting in piles in the dump and seagulls were coming and picking them up and gaining a taste for human It's a seagull rubber band. That's not what they should be for I feel like at least we're making them into cremes And we are folding them back. Yes. I'm using the term fold. I don't want to hear it holding them back into Our bodies. It's kind of like a fun almost Domoresk style of recycling it is Domoresk style of

Recycling if Dommer was the governor the mayor and the president of the United States This would be commonplace, but apparently it already is I guess we'll just talk about this story before we get to all the other stories this week There are more important stories in this there are a lot more stories We didn't talk about this story before the chef. Okay, Sandra Bullock was on Ellen. Did you see this? This is again. I don't I feel like we are dabbling in page seven to listen to page seven for all the celebrity news You need she's on Ellen and she's telling Ellen that she injects baby Circumcisions that they take stuff out of the circumcised cells. Yeah, the stem cells and then they inject them into their faces Yeah, we're laughing and laughing and laughing. It's cute

it is an extraction from a piece of skin That came from a young person Far far away and they somehow figured out how to extract it's for skin from a Korean baby I mean it is what it is I just and I'm not even necessarily against it what I'm saying is you're on Ellen You're supposed to tell a story about how like your dog is super cute My diet I call my diet my Chihuahua because she's half my stomach

You're right and she told a story about injecting cox into her face and then they laughed and laughed and laughed Why are you mad? That's disrupting. That's very interesting. That's breaking up the flow of Ellen I'd love to find out what other miracles are inside of all of these foreskins We just leave to rot. I do love that Ellen is slowly becoming America's most hated woman She's an evil dangerous woman. I honestly I'm surprised We technically just someone just emailed us an unredacted version of the Epstein black book I wouldn't be surprised if she's not there He made her check for ripeness. Oh my goodness. I don't know what she did

But I think it's important in Los Angeles people need things to do Yes, and if they can go and recycle these foreskins into something that's useful. I think it's really important Well, they don't tell them when when you snip the foreskin, you know You can't make you can't make like a little ring out of it or anything like that The parents can ask for it and then the doctors say oh no You can't keep the foreskin of your child. You have to we keep it and we just throw it away Why are you asking for it? I don't want to make a necklace What you do with foreskins can't ask a baby if it wants to be circumcised anyway

And that opens up a whole other kettle of fish and that leads us to our first story about men's rights Thank God because we This story this week that broke was absolutely insane is Jen tangentially tied to Jeffrey Epstein But even stranger is the truth behind the murder itself. We are this comes from CNN love this network Love it internally was found dead named as primary suspect in fatal shooting at federal judges home Now what we know is that judge Esther solace was a US attorney's office in New Jersey Her son Daniel was a 20 year old student Catholic University

He was shot point blank by a person dressed up in a FedEx delivery person's outfit And then her husband Mark it was now in critical condition We believe that judge Esther solace was the actual person that this person was trying to kill But we don't know for a certain and it looks like the suspect is a guy named Roy Den Hollander Who is a US attorney who is a lawyer who he argued one case before solace And what we're gonna find out is that this guy has a weird history. Yes, he is some form of Men's rights activist and he is the peak men's rights activist He took this to the next level this guy Holland. He is one of those dudes who got upset with ladies night

He was like why do the girls get to drink for free and the boys have to pay for the drinks so mad And it's like he bought paid three hundred and fifty dollars for a bottle at a bottle service Which I understand because you don't really understand money for a bottle service that you get upset But you don't under you're at the club. You don't know how much it is You're not supposed to ask how much the bottle is what is really really? Gouche also against all protocol of a club to be like would they say like so y'all bottles all around and you go like Henry I actually think that what you just mimicked there is the way you do it you cannot you cannot You cannot ask in a loud sort of verbose way

You have to you do the same check maneuver like you do to get the check in a restaurant. Yes You have it has to be very secret because first of all you should be ashamed if you order bottle service And then you have to ask how much it is because you know It's gonna be way too much for you if you have to ask the price I've only done it one time and that's because my friend kept paid the bill. I left the bottle alone Everyone went dancing. I want to stare at people dancing on the dance floor because that's how I do it And then someone stole the bottle kept was very upset. I didn't pay for it. I was fine Bottle service is a tricky business, but I love it. I do love it. It's fun to come with the sparklers

I've done it only one time. It did it with Sina Ghaznavi who's gonna maybe possibly be working on a show for LPN Yes, you will be but he I remember him doing this and then I remember everybody leaving the night and It was just everybody was so hammered after we got three bottles And then somehow the bill arrived to me like I was the last person sitting nodding Near the table at 3 30 in the morning and then all of a sudden I received a check and I was fucked I just put it on a credit card. Yeah, well, that's what you have to do He got mad seeing girls get into the club for free So he sued the state of New York and the bar and made a bunch of news basically saying that this was unconstitutional

So he's a loser this man is a total and complete utter maniac if you were upset that girls are at the bar I don't know what to tell you also FedEx Because the man was dressed as a FedEx driver, which whoo, you know UPS is like they're wiping their brow The United States Postal Service is like we've had enough FedEx it's considered to be more high-brow delivery system a pretty stunning Use of FedEx apparel. This is what the FedEx spokesperson had had to say They say we are aware of the media reports and are fully cooperating with the investigation and with Investigating authorities also because this took place in New Jersey the New Jersey governor has weighed in this is governor

Phil Murphy he says judge solace and her family are in our thoughts at this time as they cope with this Senseless act so they family get like a coupon. I don't know what the family gets I would be throwing some coupons their way if I if I was FedEx Well, I think that FedEx should be throwing coupons every which way because God knows we could all use a damn break In this time So a lot of people he's alright But one thing I didn't say is that Hollander committed suicide pretty much immediately after the shooting It looked like the Sun was in the front door and dad was standing behind him. He opened the door. He immediately shot

It this was now people are saying they wonder because this is a weird the tendential connection Estrosalis was the newest judge on a case Investigating Deutsche Bank and their connections to Jeffrey Epstein There's a bunch of people to got together and sue Deutsche Bank of various clients of Deutsche Bank saying that they should have stronger vetting services when it comes to people the Deutsche Bank work with saying hey We actually really upset that Epstein was actually a part of this bank that we were and then you guys like had to pay your $150,000,000 like civic duty fee would ever come in out of the yes And it came out of our pockets and Deutsche Bank was one of the few banks that would actually work with Epstein after

2007 after he was arrested and actually charged with Soliciting a minor for sex that was the only charge They got him on only did a year and barely that because he was allowed to leave for air quotes work Which again was just having sex with children. Yep, that was his job That was his job So Deutsche Bank has a lot of different Very sketchy connections because as Henry said they'll let anyone they'll let anyone in there Any order and no so there's a lot of people immediately jumping on the Epstein train saying that this is some nefarious

Connection to all of the other weird horrible fucked up circumstantial bullshit that has happened with the between like Gislaine Maxwell trying to flee that she was just about to flee the country and they thankfully denied her bail But the journey in general that was Investing in the whole case was just fired by Bill Barr move all of this shit is it's just a whole lot of The murkiness happen a lot of murkiness But it seems to be a lane Ghislaine is doing her DDP yoga because she is about to flip so hardcore Damn better she fucking better, but Hollander it seems to be it's more connected to some other

Bullshit that he has been doing these long anti anti women's screeds online His website was has been taken down I'm basically he said one of the kids fun things straight up that it was a title of a post was now It's a time for all good men to fight for their rights before they have no rights left Thanks to some quote-unquote lady judge Which is what he called this or Salas because he was trying to sue Against the potential Drafting of soldiers in this country the idea that only men were affected by some draft rule and that women should be included

Even a broken clock is right twice a day though if we're doing a draft everyone's going Everyone is no because that's what he came about because a woman applied it to say I want to be a part of the draft and she was rejected And so now he's saying you see even women want to go to war they love it But actually what he's trying to say is what men like to do is they like to dress up as FedEx employees Well now the war is becoming more automated and we're just controlling robots out of the battlefield and these robots are killing Many times innocent civilians sometimes they are killing people that want to kill them Although you do wonder if it's a very fair fight if we're throwing robots in there

And then the people are shooting the robots is it a life for a life is a fair war versus I don't think so But a woman controlling a robot that is very plausible That'd be cool in combat God knows they've been out there before so he is upset again with Ladies night claiming that it violates the 14th Amendment. He's also challenged the constitutionality of of the violence against women act calling it quote the female fraud act and He also said it said he's against the Columbia University He's against Columbia University for its women's studies program. So this guy's been focusing a lot. I don't know who hurt him I don't know what happened

People saying that the target might have actually been her husband. We're not certain We we don't know anything because now he's dead He may have also been involved in another shooting a very very similar of a guy by the name of Mark Angaluchi or Angel Luchi who's another men's rights lawyer wait hold on a second He's involved in another shooting same exact MO dressed as a FedEx officer might have shot We don't know we have no fucking clue exactly why he shot this guy because he was in charge of the guy that he shot and possibly named Mark Angel Luchi was vice president of the National Coalition for Men an Organization which raises awareness of up the ways sex discrimination affects men and boys

Sure, whatever. There's a lot of sexual abuse with the boys No, they're not talking about Like lick and suck they're not talking about no less class or talking about how we should be able to I don't know I believe that men should be should have grow their breasts I just don't understand how anyone could ever complain about ladies night I don't get it. It's the best part of the week at the club I suppose ladies nights when everybody's feeling good. It's one of the best easy-going 70s This goes on of all time. You can't be mad at any to any title that reminds you going. This is ladies night

And it feels all right And then what you do is you have your girlfriend a k a friend who is a girl or a girlfriend go order Drinks and then you know what you do you drink the drinks because she got one for you Played the game. That's called having friends in low places Okay, so when did he kill this guy potentially because we also have earlier this month We also need to mention that this man was famous in his own way He was on the co-bear report He also did an interview in

2011 with the New York Times where he said the feminists have taken over every institution in this country They want to take over men. This guy has been doing this for a long-ass time to the point where he was on Comedy Central obviously co-bear is making fun. Oh, yeah, it's a satire roasted him But nonetheless in this world that is still good press. No, they all love it. It's like same thing with the Flat Earth people They yes, all of the hate works Q and on people. This is the problem is that you have one side of the argument our very Concerned members of society. They want things to be normal and logical and think that they can impress their Quote-quote box like view of the world on people that have no logic and just want to see the world burn They don't give a shit the more you come at them by challenging them the more it emboldens them

It makes them feel their persecution complex has become real and true. Okay, so what is even this story this man? Obviously needed to have a friend much how Kanye needs a friend right now to say you're mentally ill you're mentally ill Chappelle tried to do it and then the clip of Kanye and him outside of his Wyoming farm where Chappelle was just like I'm sure to show you love, you know I'm just gonna help you out brother and then Kanye is media like tell a joke Tell a joke make us laugh and she feels like I'm showing my first cup of coffee. I really would you know I'm not I'm not really ready to joke. I didn't have anything like plan. He's like make me laugh Make my friends laugh. He started screaming

I know she's been like this is it's like 9 a.m. In Wyoming give him a shot give him a little wake up Let him wake up Kanye if you want to have fun watch him explaining why he's upset with the South Park episode about fish nicks He doesn't get the joke It's really bizarre and of course we're not gonna go too in detail on that because he is truly mentally ill Maybe we'll talk about that on abling and stop at a bit the 45 minutes Spectacle that was his so-called campaign presser. Very emotional very emotional All right, so going back to this this dude was so successful in his own little men's rights world He was also he also had a New Yorker profile about him

He called women feminates. He's which is just right out of that's not even his term That's limbaugh now give it to limbaugh But then he also spoke of his attraction to black and Latin chicks and Asian chicks hell Yeah, good for him And then he told his tactics for picking up women which I can imagine are Uncomfortable first thing you got to do is you got to get a bag bacon off Yeah, the second thing you got to do is get it get a gift certificate some full for Sephora by applying for one of the credit cards Get as much concealer and eyeliners. You can't put it in the bottom of the bag

I'll drag it out by the highway say hey free makeup free makeup make up drinks love this She exactly and tell of course he gets a a drag queen like my older brother who is 6 foot 11 Just been like I could use some makeup. I haven't we don't want to give me that Bag a meekle there's a show tonight in Fort Lauderdale, but this guy's such a piece of shit I'm not gonna say that I am happy that he committed suicide But he's not actually not happy because I would have liked to see him actually have to take the stand Actually have to sort of atone for some of his crimes. Of course. You're right Suicide is too easy. I know suicides the dumbest way out and it really really sucks

It's just one of those things we're now again much like what happened with Epstein is that now another? murky little Avenue and this whole world has been added we're now It's another mystery that will never be solved because these chicken shit fucks take the easy way out by blowing their brains out Yeah, now we don't know what the hell to do like now We're sitting near like there is no discernible motive. No for why he did it Den Hollander also just lastly this is how upset this guy was and I think this has to do with the Times that were in high stress. Maybe social media was the final nail in the in the coffin for this dude I feel like that may have been the thing that made him more extreme in 2017

He tried to sue multiple news agencies like CNN MSNBC for quote Disseminating false and misleading news reports about Donald Trump like he was really which has been like you should have been writing Them a check because they helped him get elected exactly. So Den Hollander. He is dead and unfortunately a 20 year old Is also dead and it looks like the husband of miss solace is it's in critical and hopefully he can make it through But this guy from what I know about this woman though is that I I don't think that this is going to make her be easier On Deutsche Bank. I don't think this is a thing and it's going to make her an easy-going judge So whoever this person did I imagine was going to do the exact opposite of what he intended it to do

Yeah, it's interesting. He actually wrote a little bit about suicide in the so-called evolutionary correct Cyclopedia Den Hollander made chilling remarks about solutions to what he called quote political commies and feminists He says things begin to change when individual men start to start taking out those specific persons Responsible for destroying their lives before committing suicide. Wow. He just said what he was going to do He literally said exactly what he was going to do and he created a really it he probably created a fictional list of grievances right for her and the family and eventually he just decided Unfortunately, randomly that I'm going to pop off right now. You're gonna be the ones I punish Absolutely. Yeah, things begin to change when individual men start taking out those specific persons responsible for destroying their lives

Before committing suicide. Also, how was his life destroyed? It was fine. He still had a practice. I don't know how he still had a practice. You imagine. That's your fucking lawyer You imagine that's your lawyer when you have to tell your lawyer like could you not wear your maga full head to toe outfit when we go Into the courtroom. I honestly didn't know that they made mega handkerchiefs or cufflinks, and I'm honestly impressed at the depth of their merch It's a crazy merch These fucking pieces. He's just a piece of shit But I hope that I'm not at that point kissle

No, because I want to be able to afford a really good defense attorney as soon as you Oh, I thought you were I thought you were saying that I was you're hoping you're not at the point where you're gonna knock on someone's Door and shoot them dressed as a FedEx driver. No, no, no, not they'd know it was me good I would be like hi. Hello last podcast of the left Henry Zabrowski just for one last publicity bump Yeah, what were what what's your last words? stew Shot me what they should bring that show back. All right. I want to talk about a Simpler story before we talk about more murder. Okay, okay

What's happening with tiktok? We don't really engage with it, right because we're two adult men Well, I see it on the Instagram. I see it bleeds over by proxy But I don't like it because it's always like little girls. It's not for us I don't like a fact. I think if you were a 37 38 year old now 39 year old man. It's Kessels birthday today. We forgot to even say it up top 39. You don't look a day over 38 Yes, thank you I've been thinking about this all day. I'm gonna say no, that's it. It's too fun. No, we should never look at that There's tiktok. Oh, yeah, we do not need tiktok. We that's for other

Performers that want to relate to the youth maybe that's what they do or is it because they're closet pedophiles I don't know. I think people want to relate to the youth I also think that there's a certain percentage and I don't mean to sub tweet Various people in my age group here in Los Angeles. They're just desperate for a place to pitch content to and desperate for a place to like Perform so I think it's another way to do it. So that I understand but there's something going on in the which world of tiktok Okay, I I just I'm so torn. Um, so there this comes from the cut I didn't know that there was a large which world in tiktok kissle

Just sit there and let me just ladle you with this. Please do. I'm a bull baby. You're the soup Yes, it was written by Claire Lampin in the cut that the headline is have tiktok, which is actually Hex the moon now I Don't know what's going on here. All right, but apparently there is a massive Controversy between what people are calling with the they're calling them baby witches on tiktok That is a certain group of a private group that have announced Their intention to hex the moon now. What did the moon do to the witches? I always thought witches love the moon

They love the earth. They love the Sun. I thought that that was actually all part of it I don't know why they're angry with the moon a lot of their practices take place at night The moon is the only light during the evening. Why don't they like the moon? I don't know They're saying no, no, they're saying they don't know why but apparently they not only tried to hex the moon But they also tried to hex the fey as a whole which are the fairy people the hidden fuck They hit why you're I actually don't think that these are witches I think that these are anti witches. Why would they do the the hill to fair? I don't know moon. These are two great things that should be accoutrements to wonderful witchery

I am really trying to figure out why they're saying that the because they're there's a war now happening on tiktok between baby witches and these elder witches which are a bunch of I'm not gonna say cuz I don't know how many of them listen to our show, but they seem they seem lost They need another aim, I think they need more plants Maybe more plants, but I think the witch I'm gonna first say that we're in the middle talking about hexing the moon and the microphones just broke literally I know just rip the microphone from the table in a way that either shows that you have some form of ogre secret strength inside of you that you just did this or we are being hexed donkey shut up donkey

That's my shrek impression. It is really very good. Yeah, thank you But okay, I'm trying to figure out why they're hexing the moon It was a very big Twitter thread done by an account at hay adora, which is h e y y a d o r a a That tries to explain every time you say it every time you spell it out. It's just more confusing. I know that okay I know I just like to be clear and annoying But so this is war now with these baby witches and baby witches is a common term of Young women that are new to the world of witchcraft Oh, they seem to be with the the only thing that they're saying is the reason why they try to hex the fey as a whole

Which is very difficult, right? Because you have to work as the fave you do believe in witchcraft You have to work with the fey in order to get things that you want enchantments You're going to mess up these little witches these fairies have been fairies for life. These witches are very very new That's why they're baby witches. I don't really know I just what they are saying is apparently from a secret group of baby witches that they're doing it to quote-unquote prove a point What can't find it, but the I just don't find it literally can't find the point

I don't know what different things to hex. I don't even you could hex you could hex any number of stars There's a lot of Nefarious stars out there. It is causing a massive breakdown in witch talk Which is the witch tick-tock community of people saying number one why are we hexing the moon? Don't know you're gonna make Artemis mad Which is people saying that Artemis controls me. We have the Artemis Artemis and Apollo These are gods that rule over the moon Technically if you were to hex the moon you would need a hex artist Artemis and Apollo, but they're very powerful gods

I don't know why you're doing this and they're also trying to hex the Sun now in the end But if we lose the Sun and we lose the moon, we're doomed Maybe we deserve it Maybe we don't though. We don't at the same time. We I'm with you We don't but I think the thing that is truly the most Reviling part of this whole thing is the response of the elder witches to the baby witches Okay, baby witches are not speaking at all But the elder witches now are these elder of the elder witches are also on witch talk

They would just coming on a face. It's just hash Talk it's hashtag witch talk. So we have Facebook witches and tick-tock witches Facebook no Facebook old dirty bitches And then there's tick-tock, right? Okay, anybody coming from Facebook is fucking plant. Okay. It's all fake Yeah, Facebook needs to be burnt down again. I don't know how many times we have to say this fucking leave leave it get off of it Okay, Mark Zuckerberg also, but he doesn't know how to surf I saw a picture of him surfing I'm gonna hit him with the sandbag if I ever see him. I swear to God. I'm he's one of those one day I have several things I was gonna have milkshakes just in my car just why could just fucking throw if I ever see one of these

People in real life now their reaction is number one is you can't hack the moon can't hack the moon one number two If you even think about hexing the moon You're gonna be on the bat side of Artemis and Apollo and you don't even want to be involved in that fight Hey, I'm on board with one and two. They're gonna piss off Artemis. You want to do that good freaking luck Good luck even trying to hex the moon. It's too big. It is a little bit too large I think all three of these are great points so far and number four The one that makes me the most mad is being like y'all talking about you spending your afternoons talking about hexing the moon Well, guess what hexes aren't real being like, why are you talking then? Why do you have a single?

You know fight. I don't know if hexes are real or not, but I will say there is a certain amount of energy I you should you seen the power of hellish rebuke. I have seen what hellish rebuke can do I have it in my pocket right now ready to use at any moment. You get a hundred and fifty 14 year old girls into a room and no matter what they decide it will come to happen Because the year there is an energy that the I'm not I am or that that is literally one of the scariest things of all time I I find it really interesting I was talking about this with Natalie recently and I think that's a part of the stuff where it comes out with like With the hashtag me to movement all that kind of shit

Women are inherently incredibly powerful because of the eggs You want to bring the me to you move me into this story about which teens hexing the moon? No, not necessarily But I'm saying that women are incredibly inherently Magically powerful because of the eggs because of the eggs. They got the eggs. What about a woman that has no more eggs? Well, but then she's got the up top eggs So you think that Helen Mirren her power lies in her still perp movies? No, no, no, no, no, no I mean saying like even with the ability. It's ah God. Oh my god the feminine ideal the feminine people who consider One of his shovels so you could dig this

I'm trying to say that women are incredibly powerful good and that we Don't know what they can do. So if you have a bunch of what I'm mirroring what you're saying You have a bunch of women all saying we are hexing the man Tonight that moon is shaking and it's moon boots. I don't know if the moon regards them But I will say that something is gonna come out of it. Even if it's just a couple of articles in the cut Well speaking of the power in Williamson had to say something about it Mary and Williamson had a tweet like there's got to be some really drunk or stoned Hashtag baby witches that they think that in the midst of a secret police invasion of Portland the best they can do

was hex the moon I do love that people are bringing in to very you and Mary and Williamson bringing in to much more serious issues in In immediate conversation when it comes to baby witches hexing the moon what's happening in Portland is secret police Absolutely and look who's not reacting all the dudes with guns You want guns? No, I'm just saying it's fun to see all the guys that's been all their lives talking about how we need to Protect ourselves from a rogue government and then when the government shows up in sites just arrest people for no reason with Undecipherable tags just kind of just general capital F capital a federal agent and then they have nothing to say about it So you want you want another Christopher Dorner? You're like where are all the Christopher Dorner's when we need them?

I'm technically saying they should be consistent and that's their biggest crime is hypocrisy Well speaking of powerful women and a little bit more of a light-hearted story here and COVID adjacent, you know a lot of people they don't want to wear the masks. They say no masks. I'm not doing it This is the this is the part again going back to Portland. They will not mention that when it comes to constitutional our constitutional Rights being eroded, but they are very upset about the mask policy of stores This was in California. This was at a Verizon. This chick was told to wear a mask and she's like I wear no mask So what did she do?

She did what all American heroes do in a time of peril drop trow and take a piss right on the floor She's going to the police dispatch operator in Roseville told officers that three people quote are Refusing to leave not wearing a mask. They've asked several times and she refuses. This is according to CBS Sacramento The operator adds a few minutes later They're calling back and advising that the female is pulling down her pants and it's no urinating What a fucking baby what is people's fucking problem? Why are they becoming children? Well, because sometimes the only way to fight injustice is to drop trow and take a piss it worked in kindergarten

It's working now with the pop of the kindergarten You could just lift it up and put it solitary just like what happened to this woman the responding officers collared the woman and set and found Several items that had been stolen from a nearby Dick's Sporting Goods store in her car. Oh, what a surprise This is according to resident Mitchell Davidson Michelle Davidson. She told CBS Sacramento quote that's totally inappropriate We're not animals. I'm very disappointed that we as a society choose to have this unity and let the virus divide us She pissed on the floor. Well, I mean, she's not happy another resident said I don't really have much to say except That's probably not the right way to react So I would say that that is correct

It's really not the biggest story of the year of the week or basically even of the hour But I do think you're gonna tell somebody to wear a mask They don't leave for some reason This for some reason this woman did exactly what I would expect someone who refuses to leave after being asked to wear a mask Freaking out drop trow and take a piss. I don't know it just fits. It fits the stereotype to me. So, um, no, it works It's definitely tracks. I don't understand. It's the temper tantrum. I find it really there's something about it That is not just disconcerting, but I find scary when an older person acts like a child like sure Like there's something about it that I find like chilling when someone who is a

How old is she this woman is doesn't fucking matter She's too old to be pissed on the floor unless she's hammered and then it's fun. Okay. Well, Henry We don't know if she was not hammered. We also have to remember she stole a bunch of stuff from Dick's Sporting Goods What's more fun? You have a couple of Twelvers. You have a sip or two of tequila you go into Dick's Sporting Goods Now all of a sudden your fingers do the shopping let your fingers do the shopping You're in the fishing section and then all the little fish all the big fish You smell like a fish because his bubbles want to come out of my mouth Look at that this product just caught me put in your purse and then boom next thing you know

You're in Verizon taking a piss on the floor. She must have been hammered I will say this save the piss for the goods that you stole because then they can't take them back That is a good point. That is a great point. So this woman was arrested And I don't know if she's gonna take a piss in court. She does seem to have a superpower She can urinate on demand. I mean and this woman, you know I mean certainly the least dangerous woman we've covered so far because she is not a baby witch These baby witches are taking over. They're trying to blow up the moon. They're scary We covered a killer and of course we mentioned someone like Jeffrey Epstein and Glaine Maxwell

So by our show standards, this is technically the best woman we've covered yet Yeah, I mean if this was you know, Los Angeles 1987 and she was had a camera in front of her just be a penthouse pictorial Could we sell this as good news? Could we could we sell this show for 20 million dollars and just be like but this for us Is good news. This is good news in the context of genocide Murder yeah, I did child trafficking rings and all that kind of shit. Yeah, technically This is just one American being frustrated being frustrated and we got to sing these songs but I want to say I'm gonna say right now. We're a mask quit being a fucking bitch about it

Just I mean and you well when you're in the store if you want to be in the store It's just the stores policy. That was the one thing that I was on Instagram and I in Just so people know you can't get it in an Uber without the mask So I take a picture and I'm wearing the mask and then people be like it ain't helping and I'm like we're not even That debate doesn't even matter because I need a ride. I'm trying to get places I'm trying to live a normal life and you just get over it. Holy shit All right, this is a story that I just want to bring up just because we're in the room with travis and I'm scared This is all right. This is tech ceo's former assistant charged with his grizzly murder. No, this man named faheem sale

Um, he was murdered and dismembered his whole body was chopped up and put into buckets And it seems to be it's because of his assistant Now this comes from william k. Rashbaum of the new york times the failing new york times now He was a young tech entrepreneur with the history of doing business in nigeria and bangladesh He developed this motorcycle like kind of like bird scooters, but motorcycles, but for bangladesh We don't fuck ton of money. Yeah, hell. Yeah, that would totally work And he uh, basically it started like an international thriller started this crazy thing A person in a black suit a mask and latex gloves had followed the victim faheem sale into his apartment

He was carrying a duffle bag. This is it's from video security security video of his apartment building The person then subdued mr. Saleh with a taser staff in the death return the next day after with his dead body To dismember him with an electric saw the police said well the law enforcement They basically said oh it looks like a professional job But it seems to be very carefully put together by his former by his former assistant Tyree steven haspel who's 21 years young who they found just hanging out at it It seems like a girlfriend's place and we don't know what the fuck happened It turns out that he had been skimming off the top mr. Saleh had put

Haspel in charge of his finances and he had been skimming. Okay, so he had been skimming He had taken 90 thousand dollars. I guess over a year or so But mr. Saleh being super chill. He did not call the police right He just fired him and said but and gave him a payment plan saying that you can pay this money back I am not victim blaming for faheem saleh seemed like he wanted to give a young man a chance again that man tyrese devon haspel and Just to really drive this point home Tyree tyrese did dismember him with a bone saw

But at the same time faheem you can't hire a 21 year old To be hired when he was 16 You cannot hire someone who is in their teams to take care of your finances That person needs to be over 50. Well, I want them to be rich themselves. Yes. The goal is to have them It's never a brother who needs help. That's what we learned from the dane cook Oh, what happened is fucking ass We we know this you don't put somebody ahead potentially to take a 90 thousand dollars to him in my mind I'm not going to spend the rest of my life in jail for 90 thousand dollars

Even though it's quite a bit of money, right? Well, you don't get to keep it You don't get to keep it. You don't get to keep but haspel I could see looked at 90 thousand dollars And that was probably the most amount of money that he'd ever seen in his fucking life. I totally get it It's an insane amount of money, but not enough to carefully dismember a human body over It also seemed like he had a job where he was probably going to be able to make some good money I think that this person made a massive mistake. So the autopsy you gotta think about potential travis Think about potential this woman saying if you sit i'm looking directly at i'm looking into his eyes I'm looking right into our employee travis. You just have to know abling and stop at you're investing in a company

You're investing in the future of a company when you work with us. I don't think that travis cares enough about us to kill us No, I mean, I honestly I I reserve all that vindictiveness. You know, I haven't spoken to my dad in 10 years What the fuck do I care about you guys? That's really important here. I have other axes to grind Tyree's probably had a strong family He did and this is the problem. That's why we always hire from broken homes Hey, all of us come from listen to how much work that this dude went through to kill his boss He went and got a whole outfit going. He used the boss's credit card least amount of work, but he wore a three-piece suit He was okay. All right now. You have a team. He became

The equalizer well, he wanted to he wanted to be jack john wick Of course john wick is a hero because they killed his dog and then you have to kill Well, probably 1500 people what they're trying to say that he tried to make it look like it was some kind of International assassin that killed him by putting given with the duffel bag Putting a full face black latex mask on so he kind of looked like fucking slender man When he showed up and then it was the ways that he did it was tays and then stabbing him to death and then coming back To dismember him, but apparently he was interrupted in the middle of it and just left a bunch of fucking feet and hands in a bucket like a Voss, it's like of the worst bouquet

A magical I don't know what kind of plants would grow out of that according to the autopsy according to the autopsy Sala was stabbed five times in the neck and torso And there were multiple other stab wounds to his arm hand Back and this was this is going to send a chill down your spine forehead Don't stab us in the forehead Travis Just fucking poison me poison us. I don't know if I've ever heard of someone be stabbed in the forehead before

Then as Henry mentioned the body had been dismembered and decapitated Just below the knees both shoulders and the neck But he also now know that this whole thing happened in a Manhattan condo apartment. Yep. Don't doesn't and it would I feel like I know when my neighbors in New York had a bad day and they had liquid diarrhea You can hear things through the walls, but have you ever responded to a single thing you've heard in New York? I know I didn't I know that unfortunately like unless it was a straight-up scream There's a lot of times you hear a scream and you look out and it's just a it's a heavy metal video being shot on the street Or if it's just a bunch of people just screaming for the sake of being loud

You just begin to ignore suspicious noises, but I feel like it just becomes like the silent Oh What's that? And then you're hearing that Oh, is it 7 a.m. Already? Oh, what a long night. I had oh god. I'm just so refreshed get me the cucumbers for my eye bags But he went a long way to he tried to stage it as a hit But he bought the taser under his name and signed for the delivery He went and took mr. Sally's credit card bought balloons for his girlfriend for her birthday

After he was decapitated and dismembered. Yes. He did. He had a lot of plans. So he was still doing the job though He was he was still doing his job, but he bought an electric saw with his boss's Credit card. He had to go into home depot in the morning And get it and then go dismember his boss God So anyway, this guy obviously he has been arrested Um, and I am assuming that this won't be the most difficult case Um to uh to charge here to prosecute

It seems pretty obvious that it was this dude If you look at the money that was stolen and then the immense amount of evidence that he left behind But yeah, man as much as he put into it as much as he put into his attire He did not really put that energy into covering up the crime. No, he left it Like the world's worst jigsaw puzzle like he just left a headless legless Like torso and then a head just sitting there and because the he got scared away when they came to go look for the body He jumped out the back window when people went to do welfare check on him in a day later Because no one had hurt for him for a day for 24 hours and they went up there and they just found

parts of him But he still went and delivered balloons Very bizarre killing your boss is a very specific crime of passion Like like killing a spouse. Well, you know, I would put it that I feel like we should put it up to boss aside One of my boss side needs to be in the biggest crime happening today. It's a pandemic I moved to new york on july 23rd, and I remember I remember that because it was the day amy winehouse died r.i.p Shortly after I moved to new york, uh, I heard this story from my friend who left new york

Because uh, she worked at the starbucks at the base of the empire state building A guy had just got fired at one of the top levels of the empire state building He came back with a gun hunted down his boss in the empire state building The boss flees the empire state building gets to the street and starts running The guy comes out of the building with the gun chasing his boss and just starts shooting wildly into a crowd Dude, I remember that story. Yes, uh, apparently the cops also start shooting wildly in this guy's direction And then the cop actually shot a person he killed him. The cop shot like a tourist who was just there to see the empire state building I did just one top hot dog stand guy going only in new york only in new york. Um, all right. Well, let's let's move on to a

Well, I don't think it's more lighthearted, but the police have requested dna This is a story that's coming out of the tanglewood mall. I'm not gonna really it's just this is in a mall Uh police have requested dna to confirm a woman carrying a dead baby Uh at a tanglewood mall is indeed the mother of the dead baby Can I just ask is it a crime to just have a dead baby in a bag? I think that it's something that you should probably be bringing to the police or something like that I think it's a crime when you have a dead baby in a in a bag and you're just walking through the mall looking at baby clothes Theoretically theoretically, okay. I'm just gonna hear this is all just me being a philosopher

I think it would be the wrongful disposal of a body. No, I'm just saying but if you're you're not even disposing it You're keeping it. Baby dies naturally in its sleep or it's maybe bitten by a snake Right something like that by a snake Um, baby commit suicide somehow Okay, I don't know how maybe that's sids, but I don't think that is suicide. That's an accident. That's very sad You just are yes. You are immobilized by grief. You've become moment momentarily insane. Sure. Sure You got a baby in a bag. It's your baby. You didn't murder it. Right. What's the crime? Well, also she assaulted a police officer. That's the crime that I see as a crime 34 year old Mandy Lacey, which I do love that name

Yeah, oh, yeah, that's definitely a well adjusted Mandy Lacey That's my kind of lady is charged with assaulting a police officer. That's a lucky devil salute Well, whatever Portland There's nothing wrong with that place at all after she was reportedly so she arrested She assaulted this officer after she was reportedly found carrying a dead baby around with her in a shopping bag But it was in a bag. No, it wasn't a bag the warrant shows that in addition to the charge of assaulting an officer 34 year old Mandy Lacey could be facing additional pending charges

Including Mirdere the common well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah with the baby the commonwealth's warrant was issued in relation to quote violation of section 18 to 32 of the 1950 code of virginia as amended to Murder according to the warrant the dead baby was found wrapped in a jacket in a small grocery bag that Lacey had been carrying She was arrested. Was it a plastic or or paper or was it a reusable bag? I would assume it was reusable So you get a temper to get a tense at discount a lot of times at this point She has not been arrested for the dead baby as a matter of fact She was arrested for the assault on the officer and being drunk in public

She should be hammered I would be hammered by the dead baby in a bag because I feel like a lot of stuff has led up to that point At some point if they came to arrest me, I'd be like Honestly, I'm with you guys. Just get this fucking get this out of my hands You know, I mean, I'm just not sure what to do with it because I'm about to spike it like it's a football Well, she was a transient. Uh, no one really knows where she lived. Oh, there's a lot. I am new information I didn't know. Yep. The baby's body was partially decomposed. It is possible She just found a dead baby and because she might be mentally ill put it in a bag

Well, it should be somewhere not just out on the street. Well, we don't know if if she's the mom yet So according to search warrants, please her DNA testing Lacey to see if she is the mother of the baby And it is possible. I guess That she found a dead baby and put it in a bag and then is it is it fucking a crime to collect oddities? I don't know from now Marcus would purchase that fucking baby skeleton for as much money as it costs on Etsy Well, only if they lied to him about how it got to be dead. I think well depends on how it died Yeah, well, she punched the officer and now they're investigating. So who knows what's gonna happen here between women taking peas in

Verizon stores and women walking around with dead babies in their purse. Maybe that men's rights activist had a point I think maybe we are all MRA at the end of this Because you show you show me a guy that could get away with that. How about this story? Here's a guy Mississauga man 74 charged after using used condoms tied to nine parts. Okay. We're back. We're back to you back in This comes from cp 24. This is uh, this is another one. Uh, peter mellegos Wait a second, but can we just go back for a second? Did you say 72 year old man charged with using Used condoms? So this is what he did

Peel regional police said starting july 2018 women began reporting finding used condoms tied to their vehicles and various shopping centers throughout mississauga After an investigation, just nine people came forward. She said a suspect identified as peter mellegos was arrested on monday and charged with 11 counts of mischief Mischief is like when you when you when you throw eggs at somebody's house mischief is not leaving Loaded condoms full of semen tied to random doorknobs. He's innocent woman is gonna touch. He got nine counts of randy Naughtiness. No, he got seven counts of being a little bit much. She's a bit much indeed And he definitely got a citation for having too much cum. Uh, which is really important But he is in his cum this dude's 72 years old. Are you telling me that he still is he is still Um suffering from what it means to be constantly full of cum

I don't know, but they did put it for some reason they put a description of him Even though they already got him, uh, they think that there was a couple other Possible case of this where he tied them like little like kind of like little gifts like little stockings from the close Where he would tie them over the thing and you'd discover it Which I actually thought to me up we used to do that in freshman year college to brag that we just got laid because you know I used to put the um sock over the handle used condom. Yeah, because that's how you know Oh, there's eight days the result. Wait a second. You did use you would tie these theories. Oh, right

Hey, why would anybody want to see that? Because they oh then everyone comes in claps. No, that is disgusting. Also, if your cum is yellow as we learned, um, you are cancerous Well, we learned that you might have cancer An audience member told me because I was I was ranted about how all cum is white and then an audience member after our last live show Remember that? But he said no not all cum is white if you're really if you have cancer it can be yellow Oh, yeah, and I remember having the same reaction the same reaction that I just had to you where I went Thank you

That's very important to know. I mean, I'm just good that you know what you look like. It's like if you're p-sweet You got to beaties. Oh P-sweet you can't taste like cake That's how patrice o'neill said that how he knew it because he used to kind of do little p-play with his girlfriend She said that here his p tastes like cake Well, that shouldn't be a complaint But all right, I guess it does mean he has the beaties I also don't think that patrice needed that as evidence to know that he had diabetes. He was morbidly obese

And you're fico numb Yeah, and he would talk about having diabetes and then he would drink a bunch and eat a bunch and I love r.i.p Patrice o'neill He's one of my favorites. He's still one of my favorite comedians. He definitely uh, definitely look like if I'm not shocked that he had diabetes No, if I find out that Jim Carrey has diabetes, I'll be like what but then it's kind of one of those genetic ones Right, right, and it could just come from stress stress is a silent killer. Okay Damn, right But sometimes it's weird those people say people people keep telling me that stress is a silent killer, but I'm very loud

You are loud and that is part of why um We are stressed to be around you and then our stress goes back into you and it's a vicious cycle Of how it all works, but don't but you love my energy what you should do is get into painting George W. Bush. He was really stressed after all the war crimes Oh, yeah How he left us permanently in a forever war in the middle east and how we're now the cops of the world for no reason You know what you're stressed. He's not stressed because he's painting Jim Carrey also painted

Maybe you should get into painting Jim Carrey dumped like 600,000 dollars into having a painting studio He just jumped ahead of everybody you lip frog an entire industry. Well, he can just do that. Yes, he can it's true but um Anyway, we were saying with stress the silent killer. I don't even know how we got to talking about diabetes I'm not sure how we got here. I'm sure the audience is also very confused. They're all upset They don't know because because in the end we were talking about these little coming presents being left on cars and parking lots But I'm gonna say that I think last week we had so much come talk We don't need to do that much come talk. We don't last week was really heavy with it. I still see the flutes in my mind

Oh, yeah, that was the flutes. Yeah the flutes. I think about it. I've been thinking about it a lot I don't know why everyone is acting like they're in solitary confinement And they have to only play with things that they can create of their own body You don't have to come in things. You can just not do my dookies paint your dookie is paint if that's all you have It is paint. Um, maybe you could have the the whopper. They did the halloween whopper It was turning the black and make me shit to super black makes your shit green But I also I remember doing a thing too Natalie was super into that instagram ice cream That's completely black. It's like black ice cream and a black you're gonna get green poops. Oh, yeah, man

It was vicious. It was crazy. It lasted for a couple days. So what happened then? So they arrested this 72 year old guy and they were like no more coming And he said I promise and then they let him go. Yeah, sure. All right. Yep They're so like well you of all the people we got to tell say, hey, you should be hydrating. Maybe you don't hydrate so much I uh, we've been eating that semen X. He has been probably eating that semen X I would be remiss to not sympathize with the people who have to go to their car Or go to a handle and then you see the condom covered in semen with its semen in there It's not a great Wednesday. No, I mean definitely like a difficult Tuesday

It's like every day I wake up and I say today I hope I don't see you a strangers come in a condom on a doorknob that I may or may not have to touch I'll expand that too. I don't want to see a condom filled with blood anything I don't want to see a bag filled with spit No, I would prefer To you know, honestly, I don't even really like having small talk with strangers No, no, no indeed. Although a little small talk can go a long way It depends on if you're looking at new friendships these new friendships and sometimes you have to because sometimes it starts with

Hey, hey, hey, you know, oh, you love this coffee shop, too. This is great. Let me guess You don't like it when there are big magnum condoms filled with cum tied to your car, right? I don't like that. No, there's another similarity just another similar small world all around And maybe if the friendship would be true the person would say yes And then you would say holy shit now We actually can be friends and then you guys can become a duo in crime. Yes. Yes. Yes It's important person together. You can compare how you get as much cum in the bag as possible See me next it is. All right. Well, let's move on. I think it's time for hero of the week. It's gotta be

All right, let's do hero of the week This week's hero of the week. It's not a person. It's not an event. It is indeed LSD LSD is apparently helping a lot of people get through this quarantine LSD consumption is up 54 percent LSD is this is according to Andrew Yaki a doctorial candidate in health and education at the University of Cincinnati He says LSD is used primarily to escape and given that the world's on fire

People might be using it as therapeutic mechanism. It's fun as hell, man And it helps the brain and it helps you get perspective helps you understand world Just one organism one giant mind living inside of the universe They said the universe was shaped like a fucking brain castle And then our fucking galaxies are shaped like fucking neurons. You see that shit on youtube I saw that on youtube indeed right after I did some funny video googling of Rodney Dangerfield He honestly, he does bring me a lot of stress feet stress-free minutes of my of my day Give that guy a little bit of a little bit of credit. Would you?

So this is according again to Andrew Yaki. He says now that covid's hit I guess that the use has probably tripled So Yaki is uh, they did a study of 168,000 americans They have found that many of them have been using LSD about 56% increase And it seems as if overall people are happy Happier with the LSD because of the psilocybin Psilocybin it helps look at god I mean Marcus has been doing little micro doses into mushrooms and has been helping him endlessly

So there you go LSD is indeed the hero of the week They go on to say maybe quote people are going to fish concerts and taking a full dose of LSD Or they're going to work and micro dosing he says and some may also be encouraged to use the drug after reading about studies Exploring the therapeutic use of psychedelic substances. It's also rad as fuck and it makes and it's cool But be careful with it But nonetheless if you are super bummed out right now Maybe this could help in 2015 for example a 49 year old woman took LSD

550 times the normal Recreational dose because she mistook it for a line of cocaine According to cnn after being incapacitated for a day The woman said that the chronic pain she had suffered in her feet and ankles caused by Lyme's disease had significantly improved It just the quote Yaki says it just shows you this is a quote from Yaki again It just shows you that LSD is not that harmful drug that everyone makes it out to be not massive This woman thought she was taking lines of coke Turned out to be LSD and she's like my foot pain is gone. Yeah. So there you go

LSD you are hero of the week hopefully saving lives as I know depression and Antisocial or agoraphobia is hitting hard right now if this would help you Uh, please do it safely and and hopefully it'll help all of us get through whatever 2020 has become People ask me for vaguely ask me for advice sometimes on how to do hallucinogens And what I'll always say to you is do half of what your buddy is telling you to do always always start with half Wait for 45 minutes, and I mean it wait for a full you never know when it's gonna kick in 45 minutes Wait at least

then Slowly eat the second half as you go. I swear you will achieve it because the idea is you can always add You could never subtract definitely not and there's nothing worse than taking too much because uh, you know It just makes you in your life. I woke up with a nosebleed I ate a full zany bar the last time I had a full-on fucking very very bad Uh acid trip or mushroom trip was because I had taken far too much And I just lost total control so be very careful micro dosing might be the way to go Not for all time perhaps, but perhaps to help you get through this process cycle

2020 that we are in here. We go. This is a letter listener letter from Ohio from our basically response to talking about the flap of UFO sightings happening Back in March, I had been standing in my front yard waiting for my dog to finish her business Taking the shit. Oh, I thought that was clerical. Yeah, I thought they were she has you was meeting the quickened account I do love that was like taking care of like what is that? We know what it is You can just say taking a dog dump at least it wasn't just like rape and the chicken That's uh, that's a whole different kind of job She'd absolutely zero desire to be outside and kept pawing at the front door to be let back in now

This is highly unusual for her as we typically have to coax her back inside with a treat I knew something was up instantly and boy was it unusual The only reason I knew something was up was because she is highly protective of me And always puts herself between me and the danger that she is perceiving So I begin to scan the trees looking for something or someone that shouldn't have been there Nothing at this point. I train my eyes on the sky and notice something completely out of the ordinary It's past 9 p.m. At the time of the story and in March, of course the sun is fully down But the sky is nowhere near as black and seem to be illuminated by something high in the atmosphere

I begin circling around the trees in order to get a better look at whatever the hell was lighting up the sky Eventually it got to a point where I see a bright white orb hovering high up Now this orb was significantly larger than any star that shines in the sky over here I watched it hover in place for about three seconds before it moved along an arc in the sky In order to be blocked from my vision by a nearby tree Interested I walked to the other side of the tree to take a look at this thing again Again after it's in my field of view. It moves to hide itself behind another tree This thing was aware. I was looking at it and it did not want to be seen

It changed positions three times all moving at an extreme distance Sometimes hiding along the western horizon only to streak across the sky and end up on the eastern horizon After repositioning the third time It stayed in my field of view, but I was overcome by intense feeling of unrest and anxiety I instantly knew that it was time to get the fuck back inside and reap and completely block what I had witnessed from my memory It is up there with one of the stranger experiences of my life And I've had enough DMT experiences to not be phased when something weird is happening. All right. Very cool coming out of Ohio We got ourselves a flying saucer. I love that shit

And here this is a this is one of those and I just love I love new cryptids whenever possible Of course. I wanted to share a spooky story from my youth. I grew up in a small town called Liano Were reputed to be the deer capital of texas This made the place ideal for people who like to hunt but significantly less so for those of us less inclined Collisions with deer darting across roads were common as such It was in your best interest to keep a careful eye on the sides of the road while driving a duty passengers took seriously as well Yes one night after returning home from a high school football game a friend and I encountered something standing perpendicular to the side of the road As if about to cross by by instinct

I slowed in case it decided to run in front of us But what we saw standing there wasn't a deer while it resembled a deer It was taller and larger a frame almost like a horse It appeared emaciated and flayed giving the beast a spindly appearance It had large curved antlers almost like an antelope in the eyes that we could see from the side of its head Shined in an even milky white in the headlights My friend let out a wail and I punched the accelerator and got the hell out of there Shakily I asked my buddy what we just saw he hesitated and responded slowly

demon deer Demon deer I shared this tale with a friend a few months later Just as I was getting to the description the friend asked was it a huge bloody deer suffice to say I was stunned He told me they were called Von deer and he had encountered them a few time and his friends his family ranch growing up I haven't heard the term since and can find no other record of them Which I try to look up to and be interested to know if anybody else is aware of these creatures All right. See you now

Yeah side stories lpotl at gmail.com the von deer Is this something that people have seen out there? It certainly Fits the bill of a cryptid that may be seen in the midwest god knows During hunting season. I've seen a lot of von deer, but they're already dead and they're They're stapled to the front of a pickup truck. I just honestly I wonder how von deer of Edison is I bet you it's great. Do we ever do we have oh my god? If we did finally Reach the cryptid how long would it take before you have sasquatch jerky?

I did it in a second you'd eat that in one second sure a peaceful large being We don't know if it's peaceful. We don't know anything about it. The whole point is that it's peaceful Otherwise, it would have attacked us at the sex with our women We don't know that do we now we do From people who've said that they've had sex with them and consensual of course sometimes it does appear to have some form of Consensual nature to it. Yes. Mm-hmm. So you're gonna eat a sasquatch. Yeah, I'll eat whatever yudy. It's all about the preparation yudy What cryptid I I leave a chupacabra alone because I don't like anything I would remotely look like a dog least tasty cryptid out there chupacabra by far by far because it's just too gamey

Yeah, it's just a little dog a I don't like I don't I think moth man would probably be disgusting very muscular It's hard to get at a moth man. Yeah, because also he's half psychic Like this monster probably tasty, but I don't know I've never eaten well before I would assume that it would taste like the mix between a reptile and a whale Are you eating a seal? I wonder what you're eating seal is that's all blubber. Yeah, I mean or is it cannibalism? I See I love his music All right. Well, let us know what cryptid you think would be the best and how do you uh prepare it side stories lpo

L at gmail.com Guys, that's it. That's the stories. All right, everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening to this week's side stories Um, we must plug the merch Must plug the goddamn merch pistol our manager is screaming in our heads right now. We're here. We're telling you Ken Here's the merch. Here's the merch plug. Okay. You go do it kissle go to last podcast merch.com for all your merch needs Do you have more do you want to cover up your nipples wear our shirts? Do you have do you want I honestly feel like we should sell shirts where the nipples are visible sure free the nipple I've always said that before I love free the night. I love seeing all nipples men and women. I love it

Um, no biggie on our part. I also gonna say you could be a woman without eggs You can be a woman without eggs. That's right. That's very that's very pro I'm into it. Absolutely. I don't like the eggs The eggs are the worst part of a woman. That is not true. The eggs are is that bad? Well, I don't need it is an opinion that is not the eggs are very beautiful the idea that women can reproduce is That's who makes them powerful and scary that way But also just the idea. Oh man, we're back in this but not all women need eggs or heavens I understand both for a series of reasons get them out of there get the eggs out of there or just keep the eggs in there

Okay, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Yes by our merch. We got a bike. We have a bike It's the safest way to exercise right now is a bike because I love it too fast. Absolutely. It's pretty sweet Thank you guys So love every day that you don't find a pile of comm anywhere near your car. God. I love that I feel like that's immediately you start at a plus five If you think about the worst thing that can happen to you during the day and then it doesn't happen to you No, that's a good day. It's a good day because it already didn't happen. It didn't happen live your life Knowing that yeah, you might have bought this FedEx

Outfit sure it worked a lot and you want to start you want to start your crime spree But you know when it comes down to it, maybe just work for FedEx It really is the saddest halloween costume. It really is don't that's not how you want to do this job I don't want again. I don't like to encourage murderers, but I would say dress like the punisher Feel that fun with it. Do something fun with it. Yeah, just like you remember Tatanka from the wwe Yeah, just like him. Yes Make a statement You think that that would be appropriate to something for you are you're already killing people. You don't have to worry about being pc

Oh, okay. That's sure. Okay. Good. Good. So this is the opportunity to dress in full mexican regalia dressing. He was native american I believe that he was mexican, but I'm not quite sure what his actual image is. I'm just saying in general. Yes And laugh sure laugh at me, please And if you do laugh at me tell me tell me I've made you smile and if I don't make you smile Really, this is this is what you're doing either. You don't have to tell me if I specifically don't make this is a cry for help for positive dms No, I don't want I don't want any dms Just but you want people to tell you that they made you that you made them if you see me on the street Give me a thumbs up going a and ray

That'd be nice I actually know you to the point that I don't think you would think that would be nice I just don't want you also don't want to feel like I'm being tracked Then anyway, oh right. That's my guest merch you want to check out that merch check out the merch and keep on supporting all the shows here on LPN we got a lot to talk about every freaking week because people Keep on giving they keep on giving keep on giving. All right, everyone. Hail yourselves. Hail second magustal lations Help me Absolute someone's got to

Because I'm fucking all out of hails for myself sometimes. Absolutely. Well, seriously. This is a time to keep yourself. Love I do love. Yeah, I tug whenever whenever the wife needs to sleep. It doesn't just have to be tugging I'm just saying you can also make yourself a nice dinner This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network dot com