Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Honky Tonk Colostomy Bag

Episode Date: May 6, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a man swings his colostomy bag around Kid Rock's Nashville restaurant, the Love Has Won cult, a woman hides a gun in her vagina, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left side stories That's when the cannibalism started Oh I learned three things on my tiny vacation Okay, and I did I learned three things number one. I met pale you mountain god not those not the soccer star really I think he's dead He might be no he's alive. I think I think we've already had this talk alive and kicking Um, but Paley the mountain god who is not friendly, but loves berries Okay, do you want to tell the audience where you were? I will tell the story. I was in Hawaii Hawaii, okay?

Because you have the apostrophe. Okay Hawaii cool, and we went on what's supposed to be a driving tour and it was it No, you climbed an entire mountain six thousand foot volcano crater With a two foot long Prim around the side of it. We were fooled into it by this this buy a tour guide Yeah, who said it said a driving tour and we're like, oh driving tour You sure I have my little party boy shorts on I see what you're wearing now I'm wearing the same exact outfit that I was and then he handed us hiking sticks Wow, so Henry is wearing short shorts a hellraiser t-shirt and definitely shoes that are not made for climbing a mountain

I think he saw you as a mark and really wanted to torture you because he knew you were Polish But he also knew you were desperate to impress your wife. We had to do whatever she did absolutely That's what we can hike she really can we got to the crib the weather the rim It's this two foot wide rim six thousand foot drop, but either side. I have never experienced fear like this before dude That's my it was my fear, but then oh did we eat some pork? Oh, it's a bad number two I learned about how much I love pork again, okay always refall in love It's like renewing your vows. Yeah, but with pork sure because pigs are an invasive species on Hawaii

Is that right? So you got to kill as many of them as you physically can because you know I've had a lot of issues We're gonna get to the start of the show here in a second Well, I've had a lot of issues with eating the pork because I am in love with my potbelly pigs I follow them on Instagram I kind of want a pig friend and a pig in my home forever But it's hard to avoid eating the pig isn't it so tasty, you know, it's the third thing I learned what Bosphorus makes your blood think

Everyone welcome to side stories I am Ben hanging out with the newly vacationed yet somehow more stressed out Henry Zabrowski always always more well I'm so happy you survived your mountain climb. I can't believe this person took you on a mountain hiking trip He looked at you. He laughed. I what was his name was Taj? From North Carolina was from North Carolina, but by this point he's become full Hawaiian Okay, names Taj. He did I want to say his last name was pineapple Played the nose flute for us. That was incredible. He also learned a thing where you're supposed to do you're supposed to The ancient Hawaiian greeting is that the breath of the nose is pure

No, I don't think that's the nose is pure because a man lies with his mouth breath and a man also gets sick with the mouth Breath, yeah, right? He passes the allies and the seed come from the mouth, but the nose is always honest pure air So what you're supposed to do when you meet another Hawaiian back in the day I'm not I'm not sure if I say that correct, but if you meet another Hawaii and you are supposed to stick your note Your nose is supposed to come together. Are you lying? No, I am not you're supposed to breathe In each other's nose airs because that's your most pure air and then they call us I think it was wally right because it's wally is what they call us. Okay, technically is sort of a slur for white people Really, um, but not really it's eased up, but they say that was because that's without nose breath

That's what that thing means because we like to shake hands I have no idea if you're telling me the truth or not. I could have said anything to us Yeah, I think Taj lied to you, and I'm not even lying. I think you was trying to have sex with your wife It is very very hard to have sex We were all too scared for sex and we were up there man for a while, dude Well, and it it wasn't I'm gonna write my one-man show about this I can't wait to see it at the local movie plaques movie. I have no idea Well, I think about thinking you know what that was what a new story from a new place

Going places man, and yet it was just so exciting the way that you told it well speaking of hiking Wasn't there a cold leader found dead in the woods recently dead in a hotel room dead in a hotel room What the hell is this story? So I tried to follow this cult leader story and I have to say they're getting a little pass say is every What a freaking cult leader all of a sudden how many cults are out there? I found out about this chick She seems like a total psychopath and there was like 10 people that followed her this shit was hack as fuck It really was it's hacky. It's a little boutique

Cult that was completely based upon heaven's gate mixed with goop mixed with vodka Because this woman there's a cult leader of a group called love has won Was Amy Carlson, but she was found in saguache County, Colorado This comes from Ozarks first dot-com whoa You always want to get in there first in the Ozarks, but otherwise sloppy Ozark seconds is not a good website Just to look at Ozark second it sounds like a fantastic dessert, but it is not it sounds also like a horrible horrible Christmas So seven people with suspected ties to the love as one cult are facing charges after the body of the religious group's leader Was found at a home in Colorado Amy Carlson was this leader now if you look up love has won first of all

There's a there's an interesting in its way. It's in its own vice way There's an interesting micro documentary about love has won that basically shows that the cult what they do is You know, we're just gonna go ahead and call them a cult because they are that's what they want to be anyway So we'll just give them what they want That's the worst part about cults nowadays is all the new cults are our post post modern cults So everybody has to acknowledge you're like yeah We're a cult if you mean a group of people that love each other and also want to be close to the Godhead And of course don't forget to get our baby merch future cult leader baby merch

Please purchase that I find this cult to be interesting because love has won is its name Usually it is not so definitive. Yes love has won. Then what's the point of the cult? Isn't the point of a cult to achieve ultimate love ultimate unity if love has already won No, you were you culted your way out of a job. You don't understand. They have the Copyright to love to love. They want us to know that love has won. Do you know what I mean? It's the opposite It's not that they it's not about them helping win. Yes, they're bludgeoning us with the term love because Amy Carlson Believes or says that she believes that she was a she used to work at McDonald's and this is true

And then she had the awakening that actually she is the 19 billion-year-old Godhead force energy soul Whatever it was that was Osiris that was Jesus sure was John Lennon may and bam bam that was Bam Bam Bigelow Oh also gone too too short of a life very nice train of thought I like that you ended on pro wrestling do not demean the fantastic mental skill sets and the ability to grow a Team and lead a team when it comes to these McDonald's employees You can learn a lot as you duck as you as you dip the McNuggets into the fryer And you see your reflection in the fryer and you realize yes

I might be currently working at a McDonald's and no shame there But I see in the puddle of oil my future self what I can you know what I am Cleopatra And you are and what Cleopatra is moving to fries because she did such a good job in the bathrooms She absolutely is Amy Carlson was known as mother God by her followers very common You know, it's very slight She's a light cult leader to them where she they called her mom and she had a whole revolving circle of father gods Which it must have been good for her the last one was particularly tight He was also charged with this whatever these crimes have to figure out

So she was found dead in the home of the small rural town of Moffat Wednesday, April 28th Um, the remains were found in a back bedroom lying on a bed wrapped in what appeared to be a sleeping bag Okay, here to be glitter type makeup was smeared all around the woman's eyes The body was decorated with Christmas tree lights and appeared to be set up as some sort of shrine They were moving her back and forth as some sort of moving shrine to her life. I do like that They bedazzled her it's interesting they keep on saying how she was mummified But if you look at this woman, she was just rotting She was rotting number one and number two she got so damn thin in her real life

And so I think that you're correct when you added the key four letter word in this entire thing Which is goop. I believe when it comes to mother God Gwyneth Paltrow has secretly funded all of these cults Not with actual monetary money, but with spirit energy. Yeah, and she also helps them get I believe she said she had some kind of like Silver nitrate to forget what the thing that they found in her system. It doesn't really make any sense of me I guess that's what you want, but she was so decomposed because they don't know it seems to be she's been dead for a number of weeks Yes, and they said that her lips were visible through her her teeth were visible through her lips And she I guess they were moving her around the way that they were found was Essentially someone had to go

According to the rest warrants to the seven people Miguel Lamboy four to two was believed to be part of the group Opened his home to members when they needed a place to stay on April 27th. Oh, they're nice They brought their dead cult leader with them. Oh, this is like. Oh, this is a little bit like European vacation Remember when they put the grandma on top of the car because she was dead But yes, but it's different though because it's not a movie and Chevy Chase isn't there to add some levity But jam Chevy chase in real life is there to never add levity. No, he's very mean apparently But you know what he had a tough childhood, so I give him some sympathies. Please please forgive him forgive him

So lambly he left the house, right? He this is what he says So he says I just wanted to have these cult look I just wanted to have these cultists stay at my home because I love them Lamboy left the house and he returned to find the body of whom he knew to be what he said Leah Carlson, which he changed her name to Leah for some reason. Oh, it's gotta be some star star war some bullshit Lamboy said the body appeared to be mummified, right? So he's just like just then is this on the air B&B like are you allowed to bring a corpse into a thing as long as you Okay, it with the the super renter. I love the idea if it's a fake corpse and if it's a spooky air B&B for a fun Halloween weekend, it sounds great, but this wasn't that I mean according to that this dude

He said he tried he came in and he was so distressed by seeing this corpse Did he try to leave the home his own home with his son? But the group would not let him take his child lambly then went to the salita police department to report the dead woman So this is where it gets a little bit less fun Because there are children involved of course evidently at the home There were two children found a 13-year-old girl and a two-year-old boy So the seven people have been arrested on charges of abuse of a corpse and child abuse now I will say the former when it comes to abuse of a corpse. I don't know if they abused it

It seems like they put glitter all over it and worsted it bit like a god So I'm not sure if that's really abuse of a course they didn't shove a bunch of whiskey bottles up its ass and You know make some bizarre fountain out of it I think they did nothing wrong when it comes to the corpse per se Well, I don't know more of the child abuse. I think I think they're looking at the scene. This is what Amy wanted They are you tell me this is not what Amy wanted. This is so Amy. They looked at the scene and they were so Amy and they were like How do we put these people in jail?

They were like, what do we do to get these guys in jail right now? And so they just side stories. They just created a reason side stories LP otl at gmail.com is this Okay, so we know that Amy wanted to this is Amy's perfect death. Well, she's still worshipped I don't think this is abuse of a corpse when I think of abuse of a corpse I think of something like what Ted Bundy did when he went That's abuse of a corpse in unwitting victim in unwilling victim this woman Do we know how she died? I think it was like natural causes because she got we're probably too She got too skinny if you watch the video

So the thing is you can kind of chart a little bit of what this woman's life was like if you go to because their YouTube channel Is still up for now love has one on me too. How many we looking at nothing It's got like 7,000 subscribers So they are not a big group if you look at their groups There's only like the most that some have or it's like a couple thousand views But mostly it's because of the heat that the cult has gotten since finding this dead woman's body Watch this one video. That's like 10 minutes long I think it's important for everybody to do this whenever you really want to like

See what's all the hubbub a bit of a cult and if they have footage go look at it They always do you always do watch this 10 minute video that they have which is called God's most recent visit to share her story Which is Amy who they call God great I heard to them Amy is God that comes from a long line of these souls that came first birth from Lumuria and She tells the single worst story I've ever heard about her watching Wizard of Oz on TBS and she's surprised by the trivia The story takes 10 minutes long She does no for no reason she takes full-on laughter and applause breaks

She is literally carried on to camera and off by her tight father God who comes in who's is like one of those He looks like a surfing instructor never like that might be Taj and this dude. It's this dude loves her He put her into a chair. He's the friend but can I ask what was the trivia? Because what I mean the amount of dry to try to describe how my numbing this fucking bullshit story was where she said Basically, she said she was watching Wizard of Oz with her son and she opened up her novel to talk She opened up her journal to talk to her angels because she her angels transmute things to her and her angels She was like And she goes and didn't think the angel told me to write down what

You don't need the red shoes you were born with the red shoes Wow, well that is powerful the trivia came up and it said what do the red shoes represent in Wizard of Oz and then she was like oh my god And then they do have they have a two-minute long laugh break. Well, I think we'll have it in Gruny County Absolutely. Well, I think that's just fantastic that she had a good story to tell Unlike your story about when you went to Hawaii because how fascinating was that so I will say this when it comes to this cult Not everyone thought that this was just some fun loving lady. She looks innocent enough kind of Looks like a cult leader who will cut off your genitalia and shove them down your mouth like Apparently she brainwashed a lot of people and then like all good cults took all their money

That's the problem with all of the spirit energy cults It usually takes a lot of real money energy to fund it and then it seems like I don't know what she was spending the money on But this is according to Chelsea and Ren and Renninger This is she was talking about how her sister joined the cult and she said for those who know my sister Amy I wanted to let you know we found out yesterday of her passing Please pray it for us and the people involved in this awful situation We're choosing to remember who she was and who she was on in our life on a regular basis She when you the person that you met was not the person who she was she decided she wanted

She decided that she wasn't whoever she was she wasn't your sister She was quote Queen of Lemuria and Donald Trump was mom's father in Lemuria. Well, isn't that nice? That's a pass. That's a past life. Well, that is so nice. Yeah, that's what her sister says She says it was not who she was on a regular basis She ended up becoming a manipulated a manipulating cult leader. So I don't know what the heck happened here It was your standard Boutique cult it's only about 20 people so she didn't take that much money It was a bunch of people that kind of already didn't have money who joined up and heard the new father god

It was a man named Juan Castillo So I think what seemed to happen is that when Juan Castillo showed up and he had kind of a string of crimes in his past And he started to join up with this cult and become like, you know, I guess I'll fuck this lady to be God I'll be God's husband sure or not He went he started punishing people and that's when it really started getting really really intense But this is also a cult where they said there's only 144,000 people They're gonna go into the fifth dimension and he's they're trying to train everybody up to get on a higher Consciousness level very similar to heavens gate where they were just trying to be basically saying y'all don't get to go to the fifth

Dimension unless you rock you raise your vibes up enough Well, it's the only way to do that is to sit and to listen to Amy Carlson fucking Prattle on at you every day about nothing But no, oh also the Wizard of Oz story was pretty good fantastic I mean you should see her 20 minutes on crackers At night though mom because she didn't believe in drugs no drugs, right? Of course, but she she suffered from some I guess some pain

I might have come from cancer or something who knows Where she had to take God's medicine, which was her 10 shots of vodka every night And if you watch that vice documentary and you watch some other footage of her Getting hammered. She gets that sort of evil. Yeah, like white woman hammered. You know 10 shots It's a significant amount of it's a lot of actually she looks like she weighs about 118 pounds. Yes She has a real. Oh, I don't know what there's a series of horrific women that you could name there that are quite thin and Evil which I will not do right now because some of them are my friends But it looks like 10 shots 10 shots would knock this woman on her bony ass

And there's a lot of there's a lot of footage of her doing stuff like taking a crying child and putting the kid in a closet There's one where she is visibly intoxicated Channeling Robin Williams and not even once that she do a voice. She does it She doesn't do any of that shit else just like this is even that's bare minimum We're talking to Robin Williams. This is why in a perfect world her and Rock Terrio just getting lit together No children are allowed around just have them get hammered together They're negative malicious energy cancels that chudder cancels each other out and they just have a fantastic life together But unfortunately they never met they really didn't and they she also they were in Hawaii for a period of time

That's kind of where they were and then they got kicked out of Hawaii for not being chill enough Oh, they just left they got kicked out. They had it. We were in Kauai. There was an entire the entire community of the entire community Protested their existence. They there was a multi-day standoff with protesters. Oh my and that code at UK And then she said that she was a direct reincarnation of the highway the Hawaiian deity Pele Oh, they must not have liked that. I know they didn't because they actually take that very seriously And then they kicked her out. They think they the mayor had to come It's it's like, yeah They're all like the all just all of the village

Is this an animated Disney movie where the mayor has to show up knock on the door and be like ma'am You must leave the town seriously, but also they are continuing to Post on their love has won YouTube. They have not acknowledged. She's that she's died They said now they're saying that she has transitioned and And stop stopped communication something like that where that's communication. Oh, she's no longer We're no longer communicating because she is dead and she's currently rotting in an Arabian B So you do want to take better care of her if you love her as much as you say you do Well, let's move on

We'll cover that story as the as the topic continues to pop up because I'm sure that it will One one bit of an update here at Prancer the team lot at Chihuahua has been adopted We saw we saw that we should have talked about this last week, but I was so excited Prancer looks very happy But irritable His new mom seems to really love him and he seems to begrudgingly take little kisses. Yes, we follow him on Instagram I think is it a boy or a girl? I believe it's a man. Well, whatever it is. It's a Chihuahua So who cares but either way still does not like men So hopefully you know

It's a test for any man who wants to date the owner of Prancer the Chihuahua If Prancer does not bark or bite that is the chosen one. It's better than a glass slipper I bet you that she did that so that she wouldn't have to date. Yeah, maybe not Speaking of what Henry talked about with Grundy County, we're gonna be there in two weeks We actually can't wait Grundy County is very near Nashville and this story This is just gonna be a little bit of this is just a fun tale dude. We're so close We're so close fast forward in a week and a half. We're gonna be this guy. This could be a so kid rock He has a bar right downtown Nashville and you all love it if you're in Nashville

I'm certain that you love it. You're there every every weekend. You take your family to it, especially our listeners They love it. Well, of course, you would take your family to it because it's called Kid Rocks big honky donkey tonk Which makes all the sense in the world because of course Kid Rock a very famous country musician So a man if you have not been to Kid Rocks donkey honky tonk, but whatever it hell it is donkey honky tonk Which you don't know how to party. You don't know how to party. We've been there twice Very very drunk the most dangerous stage. I've ever seen a person be on the stage is 20 feet time 20 feet high It's very very narrow and there is no wall to stop the lead singer who is aggressively doing cock rock from falling off Thankfully, that's not what happened here. Although on the third floor of Kid Rocks honky donkey tonk

Donkey honky tonk many people fall off because they try to jump from building to building, but they're not spider-man No, we're just very very fat dudes But I've heard that if you die from falling off the third floor of Kid Rocks donkey honky tonk Then your successor whoever you choose gets free Bud lights for six months Please jump off of that for me Henry. So a dude at Kid Rocks donkey honky tonk He got a little bit hammered often times when you're hammered Maybe you have some greasy food. You got a shit But the problem is for this guy. He didn't have the ability he had a colostomy bag his shit came in the luggage

He's chicken Sampsonite so he had he had a poopy bag there and he said, you know what we're here What would kid rock do in this situation? He doesn't like good shit go to waste Mm-hmm. No, he took the colostomy bag and swung it around his head like a helicopter All over the crowd at Kid Rocks donkey honky tonk And you have just got to imagine the people who are making out and kissing during this as a lead singer of a band called Like the lead singer of a band called like Oh, what's like poison poison enema poison guy V poison guy V and all they do is cover poison songs

Maybe some motley cruise so they're rocking out to pour some sugar on me. I think that might be warrant Oh, yeah, all of a sudden liquid shit just starts spraying and I was like, oh Kid rock show up is kid rock here people are making out as shit hits their faces This is why we want to be in Nashville in no way is this a bastardization of what Willie Nelson started Oh Loretta Lin no way client all these fantastic famous soul for right up with there with that man right up there I remember when when when when Ray Charles was singing down at Tootsies and he was like one day one day there's gonna be a rock and roll Singer who has a place and it will be so great that people will just spray liquid shit all over the walls and the party

Will continue. Yeah, apparently the man and this is honestly really really surprising apparently The man had been in contact with the police three times that night that night And he had previously refused medical attention both times. Okay, hold on. How did he get it? How did this take you? This is a bit of a security breach at the donkey honky-tonk I'm gonna say this I think I've been in trouble with the cops three times in one Now you got to say go down to Tootsies go down to go to oh my god I'm not gonna tell him to where to go because I want to have the bologna sandwiches and Robert's Western I think that if you have a colostomy bag, you might get to drink for free there if you drink it out of the colostomy bag

They so no they're trying to figure out what his crime with the traffic A bunch of liquid shit all over everyone if that's not some biologically Biological weapon well according to Kevin Walters and his Twitter account that they have posted on here for some reason on whiskey rift Dot-com. It's just this one man. He won't stand it anymore. He says I'm not comfortable being in the same bar with someone Swinging his colostomy bag around years old Are you crazy? I love that he took to Twitter to express that as opposed to get in the fuck out of that bar But honestly it comes down to it. Maybe his bag was full. No, it definitely was that's why he had to do it But that's why you you bring it to the bathroom and you squeeze it out

Like no good. I don't know not until I have to that's when I am when I'm absolutely Medically forced to learn how to use a colostomy bag. That's when I'll learn it'll happen until then I'm good Yeah, this is according to a tweet from the Nashville scanner They say don't think I'd want to be in the transport car on the arrest now What now? Where is that hot tub wagon some officers may need to take a quick bath? That's disgusting. I would be And sensed I would be very very upset at least one This is again Nashville scanner at scan Nashville

They say at least one officer heading home for 30 to 40 minutes to get a change of clothes Take as much time as you lord. You're getting picked up by that guy for speeding, you know, and this is It's a tough, you know, we we need a lot of different we need we need community policing We do and we've always said this would be good for a community detective. This is but this is just a tough day It's tough day behind the badge there when you're just covered in in liquid shit from someone swinging around a colostomy bag at Kid Rocks Donkey, honky-tonk are gonna be upset about it. Oh, so take a look out if you're in a little rock Apparently right now. We got a seems to be a burgeoning serial killer is on as well. I saw this We don't know. They think they're connected. We don't know how they think it's connected yet

They because they have not revealed that three fatal stabbings and a little rock up here connected According to the police. They are it's been and it's all over the map It's been a older white guy another older white guy and then an older white an older woman And then a homeless guy that all were stabbed. They said the one person who survived She was stabbed 15 times and she survived and she described the subject is he's a black male who's very slender So we got a skinny man murderer. Okay. Well, also, that's a Got nothing else. No, I'm not blaming the victim whatsoever. She was stabbed 15 times to skinny skinny black They're angry stabber. Oh, we got maybe that's what it is

Who knows we got to find out because just know that that is that is going on and there is just somebody randomly stabbing people in The street, so guess what back to normal be freaking careful. It's nice that it's with a knife though, isn't it? Be very careful. I can't you think about being stabbed 15 times and many of those stab wounds. I'm a sure I'm a sure I'm assuming we're defensive. Oh, I hate defensive when you see oh anyway All right Well speaking of wounds this woman want to do this story really quick this woman she was an inmate You know what you can hold in your pussy I mean, I didn't know how much you could hold in your pussy besides the human baby

So this when it's in the womb, but I'm a baby get to the pussy side stories LP O tail gmail.com if you're a woman who's ever had a child and or anything about it How long does the baby stay in the vagina area or is it by that point? Is it moving so fast that it's got to come out all the way well? We can ask our very soon the future fathers last them and we should probably ask their mothers But we're gonna ask it in such a crude way. We'll ask the men. Yeah, I never Was it fast so it's a slap out or is it scream out? When does it get a job? So this woman in Missouri

She was sentenced to 10 years in prison now again. I don't know if that is just or not It seems like a long time But she smuggled the loaded gun into a prison or into a local county jail in her vagina and she had it in there For quite a while 17 days Seven 17 days she has that gun 22 caliber revolver that was fully loaded with five rounds Now to be fair as you can see from this picture. This is coming from the smoking gun. It's a relatively small gun It's smaller than I it's smaller than you'd want it if you needed it Yes, it's just small enough if you're asking someone, you know to hide it up their pussy

So the woman's name was Amy will height or will height will height will height Amy will height well Amy Will hide a gun in her vagina. That's for sure. So she had it in there for 17 days and then I guess guards discovered it was wrapped in plastic and they removed the firearm from her body and And I guess I don't know I guess she tried to conceal it with in her personal belongings It must have slid out at some point because they said they did the full strip search Which they didn't find her because I honestly think it would be difficult to find it on a person if you were just looking because you got To do the bend over and check

But I don't think they stick fingers up there and look in there. They got to get the guy who does that casting couch He knows how to I've seen yeah, that's what he's always like bend over at your hips And you know very invasive whole series of different medical things happening there. So she got 10 years and But you said she was holding it for somebody else Yeah, I would assume just a delivery person and I would assume this gun this kind of pussy gun here That would probably be pretty lucrative to sell in in prison I imagine or it's least of a great show although to be yes, very Florida to be fair with that little gun like that It has limited bullets. I feel like a shank is still just better. I think that yeah

I think that's the send a message 22 caliber pistol cuz honestly you're gonna have to push it up against somebody's fucking dome and pop pop pop or It's just about just showing the fact that I'm crazy enough that I I got my main side bitch here to bring me pussy gun Because that's how far my reach goes. You know, I can't touch you from here Well, that is very true There is now more access than ever before when it comes to people who are incarcerated Expressing their life because of social media and because of telephones So maybe this woman did have some contact with the outside

She knew she had to bring this gun in and now she has a lot of time to I guess stare at the wall and check her pussy For more items because she's ten years Honestly the the woman that tried to get the gun from her I guess the the woman that she was bringing the gun to inside of jail technically didn't see any jail time whatsoever But she did as them gun mule. It is so bizarre come on into the gun store and it's just her vagina Well, that is I feel it's a New Yorker cartoon. Come on into the What does this one mean? Anyway, so that is a strange little tail very strange. I don't know if she deserves ten years or not

But nonetheless, she got it in there man. She somehow got that gun in there. Oh I want to talk about this update in this story this Ronald Ilg story. Um, do you remember last week? We cover this this was this weird thing about the doctor trying to from spoken I think someone corrected me on that. It's spoken spoken. Yeah, not okay. No, we got corrected as always I thought it was spoken. Well, we're wrong. There's an E at the end of it. If it's spoken Anyway, I'm not I'm filled with rage filled with rage I'm but he tried to go on to the dark web to get a Hitman to kill his wife right this whole story and then it turned out it was like it was all fake

And he said I want you to give her heroin and convince her to not divorce me even though we had a girlfriend in Mexico Yes, but apparently there's a lot more information coming from this so-called girlfriend in Mexico She He wanted to take this trip to Mexico with his girlfriend. This was ill go the man and the girlfriend found out that he was trying To plan the kidnap the kidnapping and the drugging of his wife and she got so upset by it They got challenged him. She challenged him with a text saying you leave me alone. I'm scared of you Please don't hire someone to hurt me or my family and then Ilg's like says um that stuff is all fake And I've known it's all fake. It's all so it's all fake. I didn't do this

I don't know and she's like you hired someone to hurt your wife from the dark web using Bitcoin. You stop now You leave me alone forever. I'm scared of you. They then continued to go on vacation together. What? Oh, yeah I don't know what happened, but she said while they are um She said she found Ilg's burner phone that he used to contact people on the dark web And then she said threw his phone into the hotel pool because she thought he might have the phone so we could talk to other women She was just jealous. That's the problem. That's what she got mad. He said Well, apparently they told this whole time. She was under a sex slave contract with him where he signed a This is real fun

Yeah, the document was shown in court in it slave signs her rights away and quote Unconditionally accepts anything the master chooses to do with the slave. This is the same shit. They did it next to him What the fuck? Never sign a slave contract also if you get a lot if you are in one right now It's not legally binding feel free to step away from the slave contract It is not something that is mandated from the government. It is not legal. There was no notary There was no notary public that went to go stamp it Just get out of your slave contract if you are in one right now, please God

Yeah, unless you are happy in it and the other person isn't killing people. It's really not that possible I don't know the Ilg pricked her finger and forced her to sign the master slave contract Oh blood the document also shows Ilg signed the contract in his blood Including in that contract an agreement that the slave agrees to any punishment whether it was earned or not And the FBI said one of the punishments was to put her in one of two concrete holes in his Spokane yard Okay, so this guy is obviously a total psychopath. It's interesting. His last name is Ilg. It reminds me of Charles Ing In the very very true this man was is going to kill if he is free This dude is obviously extremely dangerous and this is why I wish I could teleport the man from Kid Rock's donkey honky-tonk

To them to the room where these two people are signing their slave contract Just so he could whip a bunch of liquid shit around the room so they could realize how ridiculous all of this really is But you're trying now we're in this weird world of what's fantasy and what's reality that is reality if they sign a contract now They're no longer in fantasy because they're making it real That's the thing with the nexium stuff, but he actually physicalized and did the physical abuse if you just agree to it in Like technically out of a sexual fantasy. This is where it gets weird, right? So agents describe he did have holes He had storage tanks storage tanks underground and a ladder was needed to get in and out of the holes are shown in court

And they were giant tubes in the ground the victim told investigators that Ilg would keep her down there for hours with no escape Oh now the defense of for Ilg is saying that they were just partaking in consensual BDSM So but this comes from another woman. So another woman that was hired to care for it Can I just can I just stop that though? But the woman who is is held in the tank like she is the chick from you know from From silence of the lambs and Buffalo Bill is is feeding her nothing but bones to get the fat off of her body So we can make a skin suit um at some point she has said that that wasn't consensual So I'm just gonna go with that of course and say it doesn't seem like this is BDSM

Yes, sure, but this is this is what's weird, right? So he hired this other person to care for Ilg's kids He gave this woman gave the FBI tax that the suspect sent to her regarding a kidnapping sexual fantasy Oh, this is literally what he said to her It would depend on what I decide the scenario would be in your comfort level as an example If it was a kidnapping scenario there's something on many women fear and yet sort of fantasize about right? So you wouldn't be able to see it and it's almost impossible for her to know it's not me but if someone was opening doors for me as I Lead her outside into the car and I would add a significant amount of intrigue and uncertainty

It heightens the experience because the adrenaline flowing and really changes the whole dynamic Which is that little bit of difference of course it would have to be planned out well ahead of time So it certainly wouldn't be anytime soon, but knowing that I could have that extra tidbit of help ads dramatically I hope this sounds fairly fairly sort of safe on your part, and if you wanted to be more adventurous too, then that's possible You know what? I'm actually good I'm gonna stop the adventure right there because it seems like you're just gonna kidnap me and I would trust you more if you Didn't attempt to murder your wife. This is why you got to leave it to the pros this man I don't care fetishes and fantasy have all the fun in the world

You just got to be safe about it go to kink.com or go to the kink headquarters in I believe Oakland go to the pros because it seems like they were dabbling in some dark fantasies, which again totally fine I just don't trust that guy, but Ilg is trying to do the cannibal cop defense now of like I'm just an imagineer Yeah, but cannibal cop also did get sentenced and found guilty, and he will always be the cannibal cop Thankfully he is finding people that enjoy the fetish with him. I guess you just said he's not like he's not like turkeydate.com or something like that Everyone pretends to be like Kramer when he was very untray.com. Yes. Oh untray.com untray indeed So we'll follow this as more comes out, but that's we're trying to spin it as they're trying to say he is a it was all

Consensual and that they're all got mad because they all stopped being groovy Which it does seem to be if everyone is scared of you that that's not true again Yeah, yes because he was the one screaming it was all consensual, but then other people are saying it wasn't though and you're also Yeah, you keep saying how juiced I would be to be scared of you, but I'm now just scared of you, right? I and but then again, I guess you scare me man She went on vacation doctors and they see us as human meat I don't know why she went on vacation, but you never know sometimes you see a good group on and I'll hang out with anyone all expense pay trip to Mexico

I've never been I've never been I'll go pretend to be a dog for somebody for a little bit if you're paying oh Well speaking of dogs this story is so unbelievably strange We'll get to a here of the week and in emails here in a second, but this one Man, I don't even know where to start so let's just begin at the end a dude was hammered And it turns out his dog was barbecued so this fella He's a Russian dude his name his name is Nikolai and we're just gonna leave it at that because I'm not even gonna attempt to pronounce His last name Nikolai. He was found extremely lit in his Northampton township home. This was in Pennsylvania Mm-hmm. Officers say he was quote in incredibly

Intoxicated and this is Pennsylvania. So they know intoxicated so incredibly intoxicated He sort of looks like a divorced ventriloquist dummy If you look at this man, he definitely look he has a sleepy smile of a man who is very very drunk You know me or he's just like because especially for what his crime was so anyway the crime was shooting his dog in the head killing the dog Uh putting the dog in a charcoal grill and I guess attempting to eat it Meanwhile, just to give you some perspective on how this man's life is going He's 48 and he still is a roommate not dissing again people who might have roommates at 48 But whenever you're in so incredibly hammered you shoot your dog and barbecue it and then you have to have your own Cato

Kaylin, you know life isn't going great. Also, it's not just be a peaceful roommate once Can I just be a roommate in a house where someone doesn't shoot their dog and try to grill it? I don't know. It's difficult. It's hard. You have to really vet these people. He apparently they found It was a massive fire So what if they found a burning pit in a couch that was in flames in the front yard so man this fucking guy Once the fire was under control patrol observed an unknown animal badly burned and charred on top of a small metal charcoal Which turned out to be the dog He then also was dousing hundred dollar bills with lighter fluid and burning them in the metal fire pit

This guy this is so next level Russian hammered. He I love the idea I love the idea if I'm 16 years old and you guys and you have a farmhouse that has like all of the crappy furniture From when your parents are sure the collective group crap where you would burn it and light it on fire Sure. Okay. I get it. He's 48 years old Let the couch on fire at that point if I'm the roommate I'd say hey, hey Hey, let's let's stop this. Yeah, you answer but that didn't happen and then it escalated again to the dogs And then the hundred dollar bills and I have to say again the 48 year old dude with the roommate I can't imagine he had that much money in the New York Post really focuses on how many pro dog

Facebook posts he made Prior to murdering his dog and eating it or at least just cooking it and he called like he had a picture of a German Shepherd and a Siamese cat that he called our for our formidable security forces He had a shared a stock image on Facebook of five dogs draped in lights in front of a Christmas tree in December 2017 And then he said that he was way wishing his family all the best in 2018 Which he noted was the year of the dog So he seems to like dogs or he did so much that he tried to make one his dinner Oh my it's I think that you

You this is where I guess you'd call this rock-bottom. I Yeah Is this here? So anyway, well his bail has been set at one million dollars He remained in custody as of this following or this past Monday Prosecutors sought charges obviously felony animal cruelty and that's it right now I think that's pretty good for it. What about like? Oh, well, yes. No, he also has been charged with this are discharging a firearm into an occupied structure reckless endangerment and

Possessing instruments of a crime, which I would assume was the burning couch Okay, well, you know what are you gonna do? I'm glad but we're back on we're back. We had one week off from animal crimes Yeah, we're back on good work. I guess bad work. What's gone? What's wrong with all of us? Definitely bad work because the dog is super cute and probably didn't need to be burned I am going to save all of this new UFO information because guess what we all this new UFO should coming out And I'm not gonna burn it for you because I it might be included as a part of my live show presentation And I'm not ready to start it yet to start really talk about I get a condense all of this but the one big Massive UFO hot topic that dropped this weekend. It's all over the internet again

Is that ex-Senator Harry Reid has straight-up said I was told that Lockheed Martin had Chunks of a UFO somewhere and he was not allowed to look at them and Senator Harry Reid Of course a little bit reputable on this because he is the one who said that there was a hundred million dollar program And he had personally led the way to finance that so yes I don't know Harry Reid and he's been fighting for this information and he was blocked from seeing it We are we're really at the the very edge of what might be the most important UFO information to ever come out But also at the same time I think people are going to be disappointed because as soon as you get what you'd even think of as quote-unquote proof

It will never be truly satisfactory to work the actual experiences And I do mean I did see read a whole thing about phosphorus is what allows the quantum We are a walking quantum computer. It's like this the new idea and that straight up the the flows of energy around The cells around all of us is what allows us our brain to work as a quantum sort of computer How do you this is it's gonna fucking it's gonna be big I remember quantum leap that was a great show He would scott back you la back you la Alright, well, we will cover more UFO and all the extraterrestrial things next week It is extremely bizarre to see air quotes mainstream media

I'm gonna go right ahead and call it lame stream. Thank you But it is strange to see them cover this and the way that they do it. It's it's just you know Anyway, I just don't trust in the corporate media. There is there's that is a problem There is because every every anyway, we don't know what we just don't know what the hell is happening That's I guess that's how I feel. I feel like I was especially over but now There's a lot of change last four years. Yes, it did and then we in terms of like Why they would use transparency quote-unquote transparency also as a weapon Weirdly and who is this information for then there's the other part of it

Is I still feel like a lot of this reporting is not even for the citizens of America I think it's for the Chinese and Russian governments to look at I think that Well, who knows I feel like we're gonna learn a lot But in total you actually experience a UFO or whatever this this Intelligence is I don't think you're gonna have the whole story because again I don't think that then there's any way shape or form that this is just about a ship from the moon of Saturn Landing here. There's something else. That's also a part of this story and just saying this nuts and bolts Part of the story saying that all these are travelers or like something that came from other set like it actually still shuts down

whole alleyways of thought about UAPs or Ultra terrestrials, whatever you want to call them it doesn't allow that and maybe that's also there's a side game here Because again if you reduce the phenomena to just something entirely physical what it can do is it Discourages again belief that we are half psychic creatures and that there is some sort of Internal network that we all work on that's also connected to the planet Earth as well and that not knowing that it's what's gonna allow them to keep us You know heavily regulated by the fucking government sure and also using coal fuels Okay, sir. This is a Denny's. Did you want the moons over my hammy?

Of course, I do. Thank you very much. No absolutely fascinating stuff and we will keep you We'll keep that coverage going because I it's hard to trust a lot of these media outlets that have been known to lie and to see All right. Well, there's nothing lying about hero of the week Here we go this hero this is just an authentic true American hero a baby fell in to a bay in Maryland It was ejected from its car during a crash. Look at this car. Holy fucking shit. This car got wrecked So Maryland fire officials they are crediting a good Samaritan For saving a child's life after the infant was ejected from a vehicle during a car crash

And it sent the baby flying into the body of water However, we don't know the name of the fella So he's like a superhero kind of or at the very least in this article. They don't say his name So he's a mystery man. He is here of the week. So he jumps into the water He grabs the baby and he saves the baby's life now the baby does have some in some injuries It was airlifted to John Hopkins Hospital authorities soon discovered that quote one of the page Pediatric patients was ejected from the car teetering over the guardrail and landed into the Osawan Bay Following the crash, however, the infant was luckily rescued by the good Samaritan who jumped over the guardrail and into the body of water

officials say following the heroic rescues rescue firefighter secured the dangling vehicle with rescue tools and paramedics Quote treated multiple priority patients So we don't know who this man is but he's the hero of the week Wow because I have to tell you this Henry Would you jump in after the baby? I would you think I try to I'm not a good swimmer So I probably end up dying then we have two babies dying. Yep. Hmm. They'd be babies saving babies It's baby saving babies. I yeah, of course. I would try to I every once in a while Do you believe that as a as a Satanist much like how Tom Cruise believes the Scientologists always have you want to relate yourself to Tom Cruise you mean the number one movie star who can still he's a bankable talent Bruce Springsteen industry Bruce Springsteen isn't part of any

Cults and he stops over and helps pedestrians. I would go in his car as well Okay, I think the two of them should get together and learn from each other, but also I believe you're supposed to stop and you need To save some people except if I'm really hungry if I have to go to the bathroom I'm trusting Bruce over both you and Tom Cruise Anyway, be careful when you're driving on these frickin I am so scared of bridges do so just be careful because this car damn near almost like that South Park episode where the kids are On the bus and then they meet the big monster. It's like that and so also if you're a parent All of a sudden you get into an accident your kid flies out the window into the water and that's a rough

That's the scariest fuck. I got into a small fender bender the other day cost me a couple grand But you did yeah pulling on my driveway really yeah nice guy who hit you I hit them would they do they weren't looking He was parked That's actually what a nice story. Yeah, isn't that nice? All right. Here we go. I want to first of all What I love is that this week we covered black-eyed kids. Yes last podcast and we Got some good black-eyed kids stories in the mail and this is this is all what I love about this phenomenon I think I don't think we kind of talked about a little bit on the show But you know there these stories are still happening so people still see this shit

So let's see. Let's see how creepy this gets here because this is from the system listener email. All right. Thank you so much So this is from this is from from Seattle and this happened outside of a place called Beth's cafe that he's got a big shout out This email apparently Beth's cafe is supposed to be delicious. Bex cafe or Beth Beth cafe. Okay. Check it out On the side of Beth's cafe. There's a narrow passageway between buildings which leads to the back alley There are few apartment buildings back there as well as a small parking lot for the restaurant The night in question. I was having a somewhat late-night meal with the some straight-edge friends of mine So I was stone cold sober We were walking to our cars in the alleyway when I noticed a little girl between four and six years of age

Standing at the end of the alley. She was standing still straight ahead of our small group about a hundred feet away She was wearing a big baggy white t-shirt like the kind you wear to bed as a kid She had no pants or shoes on a cold damp Seattle night One of my friends weren't paying attention One of my friends where it wasn't paying attention. So I yelled holy shit. There's a kid As soon as I said it she walked out of direct sight to a concrete ledge which led down a ramp Which led down to a ramp for a parking structure under an apartment building She then stared directly at me with fucking black eyes and jumped off the ledge

What it wasn't a very high distance But it was high enough that a kid that age would get hurt if they jumped so I ran for the ledge yelling holy shit Holy shit, and when I got to the ledge and look down there There was nothing there was nothing. I was totally shaken up and asked my friends that they saw her to which they Replied with different forms of what the fuck are you talking about? Well? It's a straight-edge thing so there's gonna be a lot of skeptics there But you know what the interesting thing is would she prefer to see a child splayed out covered in their own blood on the concrete It's almost nicer that nothing was there. I mean for her. Yeah, sure

But you just got visited by a Here's another one Some years ago. I worked at a tourist attraction in Hershey PA. Well, I was in high school. Let me guess. Is it We know it's cool, but I love that spot. We all love it. I think we know Hershey Park. I love Hershey Park Yeah, I think that's the only one unless it was like the fuck snump Am I time working there I saw an experience a lot of a weird shit We're ranging from the time for ranging from what at the time when I thought was a gentleman with an elephant tightest of the balls. Oh To meeting tiny little precious Joan Rivers

Performing at a nearby venue love her. I heard she was fantastically kind. So here we go. I Worked in the entertainment department acting and doing costume character work pretty much anything to keep guests happy and entertained Oh on this particular day I was working as a greeter to visitors entering an attraction after I sent through a previous group I turned to start my perky spiel to the next family. I was stopped like I couldn't speak I'm sure it was shock But I locked eyes with the child in the group who had pure black eyes and olive-ish gray skin It was like nothing I'd ever seen it looks so unnatural like muddy paint water

I try to shake myself out of it and continue on like I said it means some I've seen some shit my time working there But in this instance, I couldn't stop staring it felt rude But what else could I do I'd convinced myself that this is some sort of syndrome or disorder And I need to knock the fuck off and continue doing my act I hope that all of this is what he's thinking and not saying out loud the little boy It was with a family that looked typical enough couple of parents another young boy though He didn't look like anything anyone else. So I just assumed it must have been the son's friend But it was like the rest of the family didn't acknowledge him

So I was finishing my scripted dialogue and about to let them pass he turned to the boy and said something inaudible to me But I noticed that he had pointy teeth Not sharp, but like all of his teeth were incisors canine teeth Oh, the family passed through the attraction as is typical and when they went through into the gift shop I ran to tell a co-worker to follow me that they needed to see something Oh my goodness, but the kid was nowhere to be found Yeah, the shop at the end wasn't that big and the other three members of the family were still wandering around I will never get the image of that child out of my mind

He knows what he saw and doing the be case episode I still assumed he had a condition that I was unfamiliar with but holy farts. This is like a thing Now I live in a fear that he impregnated my mind is going to come back for me someday. Yep It's very possible also like the use of holy farts haven't heard that in a long time if ever before so fantastic Well, that's great. I'm happy you were a fun tour guide. Don't scream at all the strange looking children though That's what I would say. Yeah, it's probably not good, especially if you're working for a amusement park But I also would I will say I did get a lot of emails about some people just saying it just sound like people are just afraid of poor kids Yeah, yeah, they're just afraid of grouped up like eyes all salo and sunken because they're not eating well

Then that could be a part of it, but also no They're haunted I think haunted is the way to go because yeah, of course we need to we need to help out children And you're this is another little I hope on a black-eyed kid too. I mean if I if a black-eyed kid needed a place to stay I'd be like, yeah, come on stay. I mean honestly, maybe a jerry would flip that kid Yeah, um, this is a little bit of a update to that leilush story. We were talking about the the Russian dude that was the contestant on the Which is that produce 2020 was what it's called and it's not produce for vegetables is produce

No, I didn't know either Um, but the guy that was too sad and he was trying to get voted off the show and they wouldn't let him off the show Don't vote for me. Please don't love me And so the people are loving it so this is from an American living in Beijing they've been following the leilush story for a while It's hilarious what's hilarious about leilush is that his dead-eyed lack of enthusiasm and contempt for his job Massively endeared him to the younger generation who saw themselves reflected in his misery as Henry alluded to Chinese work culture is extremely intense Many of my Chinese friends constantly complain about being trapped in dead-end jobs working for Statistic bosses and terrible pay. This has led to a lot of young people feeling hopeless and disillusioned

The term sang comes from the character that appears in the Chinese words for dispirited dejected and frustrated Okay, 996 is actually just the tip of the iceberg an entire subculture is sprung up around being miserable in one's job Other fun terms that young people use to describe the rat race include Setsu which means corporate cattle refers to blind obedience to one's boss and also being packed into a subway car Like cows and your daily commute. There's jia ban go Which means overtime dog is a worker who is constantly forced to work late on weekends or during holidays My nightmare mo you which means touching fish Describes finding ways to cheat the system by wasting time at work such as napping

Dicking around on your phone, etc. Absolutely. You got to have a nap room. You have to have a secret corridor where you nap Also, the key is half-hour dumps And then nage one rolling inward refers to the self-perpetuating whirlpool of cutthroat competition And the fear of falling behind that keeps people at shit jobs competing for their boss's favor So sad, then they have no open and free internet out there. There is no podcast. There is nothing out there They just have these corporate horrible soul-sucking jobs that many of us suffer through in this country as well without But can you imagine it without the opportunity for an Etsy account? I mean honestly, but you know, we also do work ourselves or death to you

We do it with a smile and we do it like oh, it's so we're free to work until we die Well, I think we need a small infusion of that you're a gain attitude That's what I would say. So Central America Secrets relax here. We relax relax a little bit. What crimes have you done? Relax a little relax a little bit That's what I would say. Well, all right. Well, thank you all so much for listening to this episode of side stories Hope everyone is doing well out there. We got a couple announcements first I'm gonna say number one. I think our weed is not yet sold out dial 1-800 cannabis if you are in the Northern California area to get it also we are at Whedon and Santa Anna

And we are out down. I believe it called Boulevard in San Diego, please and hit us up We're trying to get it in LA stores. We've been so excited for the response so far We got working with last prisoner project more information on that as we come it comes it absolutely and of course for criminal justice Conversations listen to abling and stop at we will have somebody on from the last prisoner project to discuss getting every single Individual who is in prison spray you we're getting you out do for us out brown weed crimes because it's bull Crap. Also, we have a few more tickets available for Red Rocks Yes Now we just had to actually technically we are adding tickets because we had sold out and yeah

It might be had 20% or whatever, but we sold out we were saying we sold our Red Rocks because technically we did Yep, and we are not gonna not say it because we don't have much. We just need something to look forward to but guess what? We did we got a new show coming to you We do have a new show no idea what it's gonna be, but hopefully it'll be fun I know that it will be no matter what it'll be great to hang out with y'all and with Red Rocks come have fun Get drunk or whatever. It's a big-ass stage just so you know It's a big-ass venue just so you know, so be prepared I'm not sure how it's gonna work, but we're gonna scream and do the best we can send us your Denver Rex

Too for whatever is open because I'm excited to eat places that are not inside of my home apparently Denver is a food Let's make sure you love knowing that there are people on TV that are more miserable than you Yeah, it does help to know right that it's still just a job. They lose. She's got a check in every day until they force them to leave The grass is always greener. I would not want to change places with any human being whether they be richer or poor or whatever And that's the way all of us have to feel gotta live your life You gotta live your life that was given to you But also guess what you're might you might be given one shade of life But sometimes you got to choose to live a new life if you need sure if you break out of that life

You got to make your own life not like go on the lamb after killing your family. Is that what you're referencing? You can no No, okay, but laugh knowing that they'll never find you and that if you go into a small town And you just change your name and you become a short-order cook you can live Anonymously for 20 years before they even think of coming and look for you if you committed the murders in 1953 I have a feeling they'll find more difficult. Yes, you go to Waikaloa Where though the my ties flow free Mm-hmm. Did you do a lot of drinking? Yeah, I'll wear the my ties absolutely fantastic I'm excited. I'm burnt. You look good. You can't see it's my shoulders. Oh, yeah, look at that

You flew too close to the Sun. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for listening. Hail yourselves. I'll say them Augusta Lations Be safe out there. Yeah This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network comms. You