Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Ignorant Fools Acting Stupid

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's true crime stories including a real life "Gone Girl" style killer caught in Costa Rica, chaos on a Carnival Cruise as a threesome leads to a 60 person brawl, the Australian man who died from eating a Gecko, an inanimate Hero of the Week, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stores. Yes. What a, wait a second. What a fantastic holiday weekend it was. I hope everyone had a great time. Certainly talked about some of the tragedies on Toppat. My god. Wow. Can't we just have one fucking holiday? You know what? No, we don't deserve one. Oh, we don't. We don't deserve one. We really do need to back the truck up and figure out some shit before we're allowed to party again. You know how I know

things are rough right now? How? The only single person that had, and I mean this, on my block, the only house that was having a July 4th party was the Russian family. Fantastic. Across the street and they were partying a little too hard. No, that's where July 4th still means something to the immigrant family. This is where the, my father used to be so American, American, American. Oh yes, of course. He was just, I mean, every, he would have blown his hands off with fireworks just to prove how much he loves that Uncle Sam. I feel like the Russians across the street who are, they are neutral. They've always given me a rough like a good whenever they see me, you know, like the nicest things they can say. But yeah, I've never seen them show so much

exuberance as they've shown this July 4th, where it seems to be, they're just really enjoying how unstable things are. Absolutely fantastic. And they are the only so in a way they were like a destabilizing force as well. And they seem to have enjoyed their effect even on our neighborhood. Well, as I told you before this show, don't worry, 2024 Howard Stern said he wants to run for president and he said Bradley Cooper is going to be his running mate. We're doing fine. Because you know how I normally celebrate, because Natalie's out of town, so I was alone. So what I did, which I think was the most appropriate 4th of July celebration I've had in a while. You masturbated. Yeah, I, oh yeah. But also I spent about $45 on Chinese food, just to kind of slip

them some money on them just for when they take over. I can just be like, I was always one of the good ones. And then I got my riding with Biden dick sucking pads on. Have you seen these? Man, it is me and I just sit and I sit, I lay a little little candle and I poured out a little, little bit of wax, a little bit of wax in the shape of a J and a B. I put out some metamucil, hoping that Biden would visit me in my sleep. And then he'd be like, give me some of your fresh blood. Give me blood, I need blood. Because we are being run by a skeleton during a time period that is very difficult. Absolutely. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben, hanging out with Henry. Truly hope that everyone had a safe July 4th, as safe as possible. Obviously,

we know the story is going around. Yeah, dude. Anyway, today we are here again. You know what we do on this show? What do we do? Put your blinders on. It's time to be distracted by stupid news, because if you want to hear all the other news, you can go to every other show that we have, and then you can go to every other show that everybody else has, and then you can feel depressed. I will also say, we actually have an opportunity to show the real truth on this show. We have cut through so much BS. We have stopped, the book has stopped here when it comes to bullshit. Right? Absolutely, buddy. Like how the woman that formed the doll last week, apparently, when we talked about the rag doll, with the rag doll family, I'm going to say go as far as to

call it a rag doll family. Not as far, that would be accurate. She has a rag doll son, I believe, with a rag doll husband. Can I just say that, well, so apparently, Kissel, she might have done all of that for attention. No, wait a second. Somebody married a rag doll and had a fake rag doll birth for attention. She might have done it all for attention. Wait a second, hold on it. No, I don't believe that for even a one moment. I know, because it felt so genuine and unstage, especially with all the pictures, and her entire family being involved. I don't even care if she did it for the attention. Kudos to her. She rocked and

rolled. If this was an art project, she got covered by one of the greatest podcasts in the history of the world, side stories, last podcast on the left. So she did a good job. And I say more power to her. She should continue this with a larger rag doll family, and then she should turn it into an orgy-like scene. But this is a, so it's interesting. She actually did this in the open. I don't want to throw in my pussy. That's the problem. That's got to be the problem with the cornbugs, like working your way through your bush herds. So this came from a listener, and I think it's really interesting. So apparently,

this woman, what's her, however I pronounce her name, Menevone. She works as a cleaning woman, and she is a Brazilian country dance dancer. What are we talking about? She's a furrow dancer, and her mother made her Marcello, her rag doll husband, because apparently, Menevone, she wanted to dance, and they have this TV show called Domingo da Santina. I want to dance with somebody, somebody Menevone fucks me. All right, very cool. But she didn't find a partner. So for this is for the show. So it was all a shtick. Get on this television. She did not find a partner. So technically, she's absolved of all stickiness. Her mom actually, this is, this makes it real. We also have to pick, you have to be careful who you pretend to be,

because we are who we pretend to be, because it seems that in the process of setting up this fake marriage to this rag doll person, as the pitch, like her character pitch to get on the show, all of a sudden, now she's real ass married. All right, and that's really fast. But the thing was that- Wait, she's really married to the rag doll? Like she went to a magistrate, they were like, legal, legally married. She got married because then she got put on in the runnings for a show that would give out a free house to somebody that they chose on the show. And she uses this. Fantastic. She used her delusional sex life as a way to maybe try to get into real estate, which is one of the most sound investments of a pussy I've heard in a long time.

I absolutely love it. I love that episode of Property Brothers. When they go and they show her and Marcella's the house, and Marcella's just like, I can't take this shit there. That's so good. We need to have two vanities. I don't even bring up the Property Brothers because- You don't like them for some reason. I like them. They're incest, the incest that radiates off of them. That's just because of your documentaries. No, no, no. I don't watch those ones. Zoey Deschanel, just walking, watching them the side, fingering herself with her fucking ukulele, watching the Property Brothers 69 each other.

You know this is what happens behind the scenes. Why? Is Zoey Deschanel married to one of them? Yes. No shit. Yeah, man. She fucking sold out for fucking, I don't know why she wants to be, but she's a professional beard and she takes that money for some reason because she covered up for the two brothers that are obviously in deep gay love with each other. No, I think they're just brothers. They're quite nice. I think there's actually a little-

They're always touching belts. They're not touching belts. I saw one thing on the episode where they played a game called Hide the Hanker Chief and then turned out it was up his pant leg or something. He was going up there and fishing around. I wouldn't care if they weren't brothers. If they weren't brothers, I'd be like, fucking suck. Do what you got to do to move these twins and sell these houses. They were in the womb together. They were sucking each other's dongs before you could even think of life. This is twins have a different kind of relationship, but I'm not saying that they do.

I love this side track. I love this side track. I'm not saying that they do, but I'm just saying they're intimate with one another. You're saying the ultimate incest, the ultimate incest is babies sharing the womb together because they inherently suck each other's dicks and eat each other's buses. I have no idea how anything survives in the womb. I just know I wanted to stay in it forever. Also, I like the guy from My Lottery Dream Home because he's so funny and anyway, he has different tattoos all the time.

You can tell with David. This is another side track. You can tell with David on My Lottery Dream Home when he's been drinking before he shoots. He gets kind of puffy. You can see that. You can tell when he's hung over. You can tell when he's on a bit of a, like, oh, he's trying to clean himself up, but he does get a lot of tattoos that are really weird. Yeah. He's a fun little party guy, but he's got a good heart. And I'll tell you one thing. My favorite part of My Lottery Dream Home is the follow-up when you find out that whoever that person was dating is no longer in the picture.

Oh, yeah. Because it's always, they're always there. They're always like, we're really excited. And at the end of the day, Tammy and Bruce did end up breaking up because Bruce didn't have a job. And the family was like, you're going to have to break up with this man now, Bob. There is a curse. Let me look at this up. I believe the curse of the lottery documentary. There was one thing that happened. And I think the show has actually improved. I know this is not page seven. I'm sorry. We're going to get to a story here.

But there was, in the early episodes, they used to be like, I want a million dollars. And then he would show them like two million dollar homes, but they have curbed that. And now they are showing people homes that are much more in within the actual realm of possibility. Because the most exciting episodes of the show is when they win big money. Big money. A lot of times, if they win a million dollars, sometimes you can tell when the couple, this has gone way off the rails, but sometimes you can tell when the couple is obviously, let's just say, crack enthusiasts, right? Like you can tell that the couple is like,

they, when they got that money, like the first thing that dude did was get a brand new row of perfect teeth. Perfect teeth. Why wouldn't you do it? Of course. What you need to, I think it's important to think it's good because you've got to look good to feel good. You've got to try to make, you've got to bump yourself up. But you can tell with some of those couples that they get that million dollars because what is a million dollars in real life? 500 grand, right? It's 500 grand. You're immediately getting that. If you're going to buy a house,

you've got to put 20% down if you want to get any sort of good mortgage, right? So that's going to be- It depends where you win it too. If you win it in Wisconsin though, for 250K, you can get a lot of land. I've been on my Zillow. Oh yeah, of course. But these guys, you can watch it and be like, that lottery win is going to ruin their fucking life. Like they, they are not going to be able to handle the money. My favorite lottery winners are the ones who show up because they should never have to do

anything in public. I think that that should be banned from the lottery. You should wear a Balaclava. Seriously, if you win the lottery, you put a Guy Fox mask on when you accept the money. Don't tell fucking anybody. Never tell anybody. Where did Robbie go? We don't know. We don't know. Don't know. You have to dress like the man who hosted the show Magic's Greatest Secrets Revealed because he had a big puffy face and that mask was always so scary. And as a matter of fact, now that I think about it, there needs to be a horror movie

with that mask in it because it is just that scary. It's the movie Demons. Oh yeah, I love Demons. Isn't that one where she puts the lipstick in her nipple? Is it that one? I know it's in the movie theater. All right, everyone, speaking of July 4th, the first story we're going to talk about that happened on July 4th. My God, a lot of news coming out of Florida, but this one, you know what? Sometimes in life, you need to take the power back. Absolutely.

These days, we better, man. We got to. We must. We have to fight fire with fire. You can't just be Michael Moore and say, you know, I'm leaving. It's like, get out of here. We have to stay and fight. Yes, I agree. Jason Stoll, now I know nothing about this man's political opinions or what he was fighting for. No, no, no, no, no. This is not about the, this is not about what the fight was about. This is about symbology.

Exactly. Investigators say that Jason Stoll, he's 47 years old, fun. He was selling hot dogs and a downtown in St. Peter'sburg. Now that was, he literally, right? He was selling hot dogs. That's not a euphemism. No, he wasn't taking out his cock and be like, hey, $5 for a hot dog. There's only one of them supplying demand. My God, you should charge a little bit more.

St. Peter'sburg, by the way, home of O.J. Simpson. Loves it. Also where Hulk Hogan likes to hang out and of course, we're beautiful Natalie and beautiful Henry, we're wed. That's an honesty to the three things St. Pete's known for. Also Jim Morrison went to college there. Is that right? Yep.

No shit. Fascinating. I didn't know he went to college. So apparently the city was like, you can't sell hot dogs. He can't sell hot dogs. I thought Florida was the fucking sell hot dogs. I thought freedom rung in Florida and like nowhere else where anything was free. It's kind of ironic those places seem to be the most free.

Have like the most rules. Isn't it bizarre? There is a lot of STDs and warts on the ding dong state right now. So the police gave him numerous warnings that he's in violation of the city ordinance against selling hot dogs, which means like some fucking dickhead. Some fucking bitch. It was like, do you sell hot dogs? And then the police were like, okay, we'll make sure we have a city ordinance.

This is why I wanted you to do that law breaker show. Because I would go down there and I'd sling those hot dogs. And I'd go and talk to the mayor. Yeah, man. It's hot dogs, bro. So anyway, Stole, being an American hero on July 4, saying no, people need their hot dogs. He ignored the warnings and continued to sell hot dogs on the roadway. See that's Ben and German Franklin fought for him.

He learned how to, he invented eating pussy so that that man could do that for freedom. Absolutely. He did. So he's like, I'm going to continue to sell hot dogs in the roadway, even after the street closure permit ended. Then they say the defense. Oh, he was on the street. But he, these are street dogs.

He didn't have to be on the sidewalk. It probably wasn't a papaya. It wasn't a, what was it called? Papaya Joes, Papaya Jacks, Papaya King, which is now closed. So. Fantastic. Another woefully out of date reference. But it's fine.

According to officer Anthony Bragano, the defense was asked to put the hot dog down as he continued to, as he continued to attempt to sell it. So the cop was like, yeah, I have a hot dog in my hand. And I was like, this is already like straight up the mid transfer. And then the hot, you mean to tell me, ooh, I didn't have a hard time. If I'm in the receiving end of that dog, I'd be like, uncur what your law says. Yep. My mouth currently, I don't know if you could tell.

You see how it's open for a big tube, right? It's Switzerland is neutral. Give it to me. You see how my mouth is ready to receive it. I do see it. I do see it. It needs to be filled. It needs to be filled over this mouth that's going to start chomping on my family.

Absolutely. So Stoll was like, I'm not putting down this hot dog, brother. Bragano. And then apparently he became, quote, extremely upset. And at that point, he threw the hot dog at the officer. How? And now the thing is, how dare he? That's big on big crime.

Classic. That's what you guessed it. I love it. But so Stoll was then arrested for battery of a law enforcement officer. Okay, this is where I don't need our cop. If a cop can't take a hot dog to the fucking dome. What can he do? What are we doing here?

The whole point is you take a fucking, obviously you can't. I just don't understand, especially as the son of a father who was a police officer and also probably would have killed to defend hot dogs. Absolutely. My father loved hot dogs and especially illegal ones because they're out there. You have any times we had a street fair and then the firemen would be out there? Just like literally a bucket of oil and a bunch of hot dogs out there. Of course.

It was, it was, it was called unregulated fun. Absolutely. And you know the hot dog, when you mix so much unpure things, so many unpure meats together. It comes out the other side. Exactly. It comes out pure. If you know what it is, Kissel. What?

It's the ultimate allegorical example of the melting pot that is America. Yeah. I know. I realized it's not so much a melting pot. We're more like slammed together and I don't know. We're not even slammed together. It's a huge country. There's actually a lot of room in between us.

All right. So he was also charged with resisting, which is, as I call it, a misdemeanor. And because he was struggling with the cops who sought to place him under arrest. Again, all of this is for hot dogs. It doesn't matter. It's just hot dogs. You live in Florida, cops. Hey, officers in St. Petersburg, Florida.

O.J. Simpson lives down the street. What? Go talk with him. Go ask him. She's Louise. So stole a release from the County Jail on Saturday. He had a $2,600 bond and he lives about 40 miles away. So actually, you know what?

Now that I've read the story, he's my guy. I stand by him and these officers, you can't handle a little hot dog peddler. What are you going to do? How else? What else are you going to be? You're just so afraid and I don't get it. Because again, You know, if we were there, it was July 4th, you're super hungover.

I'm hungry, Henry. Or like when we were in Italy and everyone got hungry very quickly. And then Eddie got a pizza and a rotten egg on it. Yeah. He got super sick and he's super fucking sick. He's like, in Italy, you don't get food poisoning. It's like, yeah, you get a lot of it. You get Italian food poisoning.

You get it there. You get it straight from the tap of Europe. And actually, as a reminder, just so you all remember, we are coming to Europe. It's a good plug because I can't wait to get food poisoning in Europe again. It's going to be so exciting. But this man could have saved somebody's life who was hammered just in need of the night's rates that's in a dog

and instead cops took them off the street. And don't you feel safer knowing that the hot dog slinger of St. Petersburg is rocking bars. Now, right. This is the thing. We're getting into sensitive territory, right? This is sensitive territory. People that are attacking each other with carnival food,

obviously very, very the most serious topics possible. Speaking of shitty television shows, least favorite television show is Carnival Eats. I hate. It's just disgusting. Hate Carnival Eats. OK. Because they're all exactly the same.

Exactly. No one does anything special in a carnival. My old buddy in Atlanta used to run a restaurant that used to do high level carnival food and that was really fucking good. That's different. But you don't get it at a carnival, whatever. Absolutely.

But what I really wanted to talk about is more like what we know about. Because I'll give you a little bit of an insight. This is a story about what I know about yoga teachers for my time doing yoga, right? The last two years, the humble brag. I do like two to three hours a yoga week. I like it.

It makes me feel better. I have a lot of back pain. I don't have any more. It's nice. You've been doing very good with it. I remember when you started doing planking and, of course, me being me, you look like you're pretty cool and not very masculine.

But I did realize when I tried to plank, it's quite difficult. It is. It is difficult. But what I've learned in that yoga, teachers, much like therapists, right, is that in their personal lives. It's unbelievable. A lot of them are desperately insane. Now, I'm not talking about, because we got friends of the show

that run yoga companies. Sure. Black Widow Yoga has sent me some incredible gear and they've done really good work. Kind of a scary title for it. But they're awesome. It's awesome, right? It's great yoga classes and shit like that.

Do they practice like stabbing your husband to death? Then like, this is how you poison. Well, no, no, it's just, yeah, exactly. It's the big Gatorade bottle. You replace it with fucking antifreeze. Yes, antifreeze, which they made not so sweet, which is kind of sad. I kind of be like, come on, can I die with a smile on my face?

Because that's how we're all going now. Absolutely. But they're all, a lot of them on the inside, because they're measured. I have a teacher I take in LA all the time, who I like, I do it over Zoom. But her mom also teaches yoga. And then when she's in the class,

it's like she noticeably makes the class much fucking harder. And you could feel all of the layers of emotional drama in there, like it's coming out. She's trying to kill her mother. Kill her own mother using the yoga. But yeah, again, a lot of them on Instagram, in life, super tight, great abs, but the rest of their life is an absolute shit show.

And this is a story about this exact person, Caitlin Armstrong, who was just recently arrested in Costa Rica for the murder of a professional cyclist. Now, again, this is also a story about how hard it is to navigate long-term relationships. And if you're going to have an on-and-off style. Well, it's certainly off if you kill your on-and-off partner. Also, I'm going to clarify.

Well, this is not the partner. This is a, oh, we're going to get into it. Just more of a general sentence. With Caitlin Armstrong, I do want to point out as well, she's a Texas yoga teacher, which you know is for a fact. Yoga isn't quite as effective when afterwards you eat a shitload of queso. You'd be surprised.

I work out to eat. I'm not supposed to, but I do. I work out so I can eat as much as I want. What do you mean I'm not supposed to? That's a great motivation. Technically, I've been told that's an eating disorder, but it's like, give me some time. Give me some room here. Lately, I've been listening to a lot of these new artists,

like Towns Van Zand, Whalen Jennings, and part of what makes it great listening is Raycon wireless earbuds. Raycon's everyday earbuds look, feel, and sound better than ever with optimized gel tips for the perfect in-ear fit. Their earbuds are so comfortable and do not budge. Raycon's offer three sound profiles

to match what you're listening to, plus noise isolation and awareness mode, so you can choose to be immersed in sound or be able to hear your surroundings when you need to. With Raycon's, you get the same audio quality as the other premium audio brands, but at half the price, plus eight hours of playtime and a 32 hour battery life.

It's no wonder Raycon's everyday earbuds have over 49,000 five star reviews. I like to wear my Raycons when I go exercise, so you know I don't wear them often, but when I do, I like the way I look. Check out Raycon's wireless earbuds. You'll probably want to leave them a five star review too. Go to buyraycon.com slash last today

to get 15% off your Raycon order. That's buyraycon.com slash last to score 15% off. Buyraycon.com slash last. Hey, what's up everyone? How you doing? Ben Kissel here with Henry Zabrowski. Yeah, it's me, man. Yeah, bro, Henry Zabrowski is smoking

some of that sweet last podcast on the left, babe. Go out there and purchase yourself some. I hope you enjoy it. We have Sativa, we have Indica, and we have a hybrid. And I have to tell you, for my personal experience, they are wonderful. Super tasty, live resin.

You really get the delicious, weedy taste, which is what I like. And three different experiences. You go to your local vape store and get it. Absolutely. Thank you all so much for supporting the show. We absolutely love you. Can't wait to see you on the road and get that vape.

Put it in your brain and have a good time. And if you want to set your favorite weed store, give them a call and ask for them by name. Last podcast on the left, it's weed. Hail yourselves, everyone. Hail Satan. All right. So here we go.

All right. So Caitlin Armstrong, this fucking bitch. She was an Austin yoga instructor. Now, this woman, Mariah Wilson, who's innocent, was just a person that happened to date for a short period of time, Colin Strickland. Now, Caitlin Armstrong and Colin Strickland, who's also a professional cyclist,

they dated for a long period of time and then had a month off, right? They did that thing where they decided to take a break. And I'm gonna tell you this right now. And I still believe if you feel as much that you need to take a break, and then like, I don't know. Like, what's your example, right?

Sure, you take a break for a relationship. You get railed out by a couple of people, right? Do you tell anybody? If you get back together with me in person, do you disclose what happened during the break or not? Definitely not. Definitely not. Why would you?

What would be the point? All you're gonna do is hurt people's feelings and cause bitterness. Did somebody shot? I don't, I just want people to be happy. It's like, if you truly do take a month-long break, that is a break. And yeah, if you wanna go sew some wild oats

and see what the other side of a ding-dong feels like, you're allowed to do that in vice versa. But no, that is between you, God, and whoever you banged out. I also think, though, you should maybe talk about the terms of the break very implicitly. A break is a break, Henry. But also, maybe the break should stay permanent

if we're taking one. You know what I mean? Maybe we should just rock this all the way out that unless you have kids, does it really fucking matter? Analytically, analytically speaking, I would assume, if you're going on a break, I would say 90% of the breaks are forever. For forever, sure.

So this is the thing. Katelyn Armstrong, Colin Strickland, they're together. They had a date of break in October during the time period. Colin Strickland, her former boyfriend, met this young woman, Wilson, right? And they hooked up. Also a cyclist, I get it. You can imagine.

Do you think they even feel their pelvic bones anymore? They might be numb from the buckle down. I think they really are, yeah. I mean, I don't know, Ask Side Stories, L-P-O-T-L-A-G-M-L.com. Hey, professional cyclist, do you have orgasms? Can you have an orgasm? Do you feel your buttholes? Do you feel your balls?

Do you feel your clitoris? I can't imagine that you do throw that pound in. So no, what happened was, so they got together in November and of course, they got back together for what? For Christmas. Gotta get back together. You know, like now that you start watching, it was a wonderful life or whatever the name of it is

and you're just like, you know, I miss how she used to make me mad. And you want to like get back with her, you know, like maybe I'm supposed to be mad all the time. And so they got through Christmas and it's cool. But then Caitlyn Armstrong, she learns in January that I guess it probably came up. I want to say it came up during, oh, I never have I ever. Like one of those where it was like a knocking whistle.

No, tell me the truth. I'm not gonna be mad. No, tell me the truth. I will be mad. I won't be mad. Sometimes lies keep this entire world from exploding. Just little lies, especially if it doesn't matter. Especially if it doesn't matter, right?

Because you don't care. Like you and these other person broke up. See that, all right. So they found out that she find out of this thing that, what's this putt said, like they had this a little bit of relationship during the break. The Strickland guy had this little affair. But Caitlyn Armstrong apparently was,

the response was that she became the quote furious and was shaking in anger. Right, then Caitlyn Armstrong went off and immediately deleted every bit of her social media presence. Now she was an awesome yoga instructor. She had been around. People knew who she was, right?

She just trashed everything. Wouldn't this be the time to really breathe in and do some yoga? I just feel like her profession, it's not like she was a professional, like martial artist or marksman. This is like what you're made for. You're a yoga instructor.

I don't know. I think this is the problem with yoga. Yoga sometimes can push all the rage down. And then it grows like plants, right? Interesting. So that, so this is what happens. So on May 11th, the girl, like she'd lead all this kind of stuff

as she went away, the girl who was, I guess like this is the thing, right? Again, dudes. Colin Strickland, I'm saying never went ahead and told Mariah. Wilson. Wilson that his new, his girlfriend, his current girlfriend was like off the rails

upset about this type of thing. I'd give a heads up on that one. I'd say that, but it seems like he didn't because Colin and Mariah, they went out for an extremely platonic swimming, like afternoon. Do people do this? I can't even imagine going.

I don't have platonic swimming afternoon. This is what they're saying. Someone you've already hooked up with. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. I don't know. I mean, I guess it's, I know it's possible. I know it's possible. But so is, so is a four headed chicken.

Yeah. So is not eating too much as an all you can eat buffet. It's possible, but you're just going to do it. It's there and, you know. And then of course he comes back and she was like, past where you been? What would you do? What is your plan today?

I was like, and then he probably did the, you know, went out with my best bud, Mariah. We're just like super friendly buds, you know, just like doing that thing, doing bad stuff. But honestly, they are, it is normal. They're allowed to if they set it up. Absolutely.

And they were supposed to be preparing for an upcoming race. And apparently that's when Mariah, that's when Caitlin Armstrong pulled up that night to her while she was in her car. She waited, she had been stalking her, found out where she lived, got all her information, pulled up to Mariah while she was sitting in her car.

And she went back up, back up, back up and fucking shot her up. Then immediately two days later, Caitlin Armstrong went and sold her Jeep that she drove up in for $12,200. She went through a securities way of traveling around, right? She went from Austin to Houston to LaGuardia. Then she then got a, I don't know, how she got a fraudulent passport.

So did she like read a book on like how to, how to be suspicious while traveling? She did a full gone girl. She somehow got a hold of a passport that wasn't like, it wasn't like a deep fake one. It just looked like her. Like it just looked like brown hair chick. It's a dangerous game to play

if you're messing around with fake passports. She's already a fucking murderer. She's like way completely insane. So she went down, she left the country, she went down to Costa Rica and she had been in Costa Rica for fucking two months, right? She had already set up shop in a yoga studio in Costa Rica. She was just moving on.

Oh yeah, dude. She was just setting up a whole new life. Just like, whew, well, that's over with. And just like wanted to just like do a redo. Yeah, do a little redo. Unfortunately for Wilson, she doesn't have the chance to do a redo. She was in town.

The victim was in town to compete in Gravel Locos, which is a crazy gravel race. It's a 150 mile race through Texas. Oh, that's so sad. She was found bleeding and unconscious with multiple gunshot wounds inside of the residence. Oh my God. No, it's very scary.

But it's really sad and it's really scary. And it just also, I think a lot of it comes out of there. I think that there's a lack of communication. We're too much communication because this guy shouldn't have told this chick anything. And also like, how do you know until it's too late that you're dating the psychopath? Like, how do you-

You don't, you don't. That's the thing. You really don't. It's very scary. But I think the way to stem it, Kissel, and this is for you as someone who's still single, I think truly the way to stem it is to have those hard conversations.

Up front. Just be like, just so you know. I think the hard conversation is what God, that's what happened though. And then she, but what if they don't take it well? And then, what do I mean? I don't know. You're just still, that's why it's dangerous to date.

It's just scary to date for all human beings. It's very, very scary. You don't know, you're just with a stranger all the time. You don't know who this person is. It takes a long time for that stranger to become so either accustomed to you, that you all become family. I don't know how it works out.

I don't know how you don't know someone's not a murderer ever. Because I think at some point, anybody could become one. It's like, if you look at Caitlin Marie Armstrong, like she won't have a problem dating again. Anna Marie Wilson, like they're both just beautiful women. They were just normal. And it's just, but she had went, she had dyed her hair. Another thing that she was doing in Costa Rica

is that she had punched herself in her own fucking face. Why? And bruised up. She was trying to like hide her identity. She had a bandage on her nose and a bruise a face. They don't know whether or not, well, I'm exaggerating. They don't know whether or not she had punched her own face. She may have.

I could see her just throwing her skull against the wall. Just be like, wow. And then just bang and then God knows. You were, again, you already fucking killed somebody. Oh my God. But I just feel so bad for the, obviously the victim. Of course. Because she had no clue.

She didn't know. You don't know what master's stepping in. You got to vet these guys. I don't know what we got to do here. I don't know what, how do you get transparency from somebody? But it's again, they're willing to go all this way. Fake a passport. I was looking up again, that woman, the cupcake magnate woman,

the woman, what was the name? Ava. Ooh, Ava. Her name is Ava Missildine. Who went by the name of Ray Bougiois. That like, same thing, just found the passport of a fucking baby. And then she had, using that whole thing, like she uses two different passports,

her own passport and her passport, to get all this COVID money. Double life. She'd be like $1.5 million in fucking COVID money. And it is really, you got to be careful. Who you got yourself involved in. According to deputy US Marshal Brandon Fila, he says, once she got back to Costa Rica,

she didn't move around a lot. And they were able to find her pretty quickly because they found a handwritten login. And it had the same alias she was going by as she traveled to Costa Rica. So she like, half thought about it. And again, she is obviously extremely scary and quite dangerous and she'll have a lot of time

to work on her yoga in a jail cell because that's one of the few exercises you can actually get. All right, well let's move on. It's really scary though, yeah. So yeah, just always never, never ask your therapist or yoga teacher like, how are you?

Absolutely. You never want to know. Speaking of love affairs gone wrong and buffets, Carnival Cruises, they're back in a big way. My pickups are actually on one right now in Alaska. They're going through Alaska. Yeah, and they haven't gotten that virus yet. They haven't liquid shit themselves to death.

But we have a liquid shit story here in a second as well. But at Carnival Cruises line, there was this massive 60 person brawl, right? And it was at the buffet. And again, just eat, nibble, have fun, relax. How could you fight around food? But the reason- The fight happened at the buffet,

but this, unlike the other stories that we've covered this year, this was not food related. It wasn't food related, but the food could have calmed the violence, I would think. Anyway, there was an alleged threesome. Now there was three guests, and they were doing what you do on a Carnival Cruise because international waters,

that's where you can't have an affair with someone on international waters. You can do whatever you want. You must spread that monkey box. So one of the persons significant others discovered about the trist on the trip. Now I would say this again, if you're one of the people in the three way

and you were the person who has a partner and that partner is not involved in the three way, make it a four way, or you're going to have to throw them overboard, or you're going to do your damage not to make- Yep. I mean, you're going to try to do your damage- Hard conversation.

Hard conversation, and like, ah, it's going to be very difficult for them not to find out, because you are trapped like that movie, or like fucking the train that goes by, and it's very snowpiercer, you're trapped in a snowpiercer like event. Seriously, you might go as far as to say

it's a really fucking stupid idea. And I like that one witness, Teresa James, she was a travel, she identified herself as a travel agent. She summed it up pretty well, because yeah, the fight turned into a 60 person, hour long fight over all five levels of the ship. And according to her,

she described the incident as ignorant fools, acting stupid. I believe that's the new television show, coming to ABC hosted by, oh God knows who, Robin Thicke. So interestingly enough, I don't know exactly how the threesome, with the one person who's upset,

that's four people, I don't know how the other 56 people got into a fight. I don't know, it appears, what it seems to be is that, I hope that somebody has more info on the side stories of POTL and Gmail that come, from what I was reading, was that of the three people,

yes, two of them had partners that were not involved in the threesome. Oh, so of the threesome, so there was just one single dude banging two chicks, I don't know if there were men or women, banging out two people who had partners. Yes, and so in the singularity version of how technology rises exponentially,

so what I think what happens is, is that now, you got two people fighting, three people, all of theirs, because the significant others come in, they fight the other significant others, and then they got friends on friends on friends. Because Carnival Cruise, the family deals. You don't travel alone.

Why not? A lot of it's family, so then all of a sudden, let's just estimate, one family's got 10 and one estimates, well, one family's got 10. Also, what really encapsulates being involved in a fight? Are you in the fight, if you're just at the inside of the fight, being like, it's a titty.

Look at the titties out. Titties out, like, because technically, that just means you're a spectator, but also you might be involved, because you're there like, eating corn with a cob, going like, pointing at titties, being like, oh, he pulled his pants down, or he stick out.

Well, and I want to recommend, if you were there on January 6th, Henry will be your defense attorney. No, he was simply looking for Nancy Pelosi's big, massive titties. Yes, I can see that. And then also you have, then you just have the random straggalongs

who are just hungry, being like, you're fucking with my buffet experience? I did also a big group fight. Big group fight, right? Borscht and your state just got fucking made illegal. You're like, I'll kick some fucking ass right now, going there, you're fucking wanting to start to jump in and fight another thing.

So we'll be like, I saw that fucking asshole. That's the guy who took too long at the hamburger bar, trying to decide if it was a whack. Get right in there, man. Absolutely. It's just like, it's like during 9-11, while the gangs set a whack each other, trying to get their fucking,

they're like, this is the time for us all to make all our fucking mafia moves, here in the Carnival Cruise. Absolutely, a lot of gang justice was served, for better or for worse. What I like the most about this is, the melee began at two o'clock in the morning. So no one was sober.

No one was sober. You're never at a Carnival Cruise buffet at 2 a.m. sober. If you are, you're actually a sociopath? I mean, unless you just are, ha. I'd put it down. Not sober. You say, I have had sometimes- Because that's not going to be the freshest food.

I mean, I don't even know what the food is on any more of these Carnival Cruises. Every two hours, they used to do it every two hours. Is that right? They used to do a turnaround. And honestly, it just depends on how big and fat and desperate you are for hamburgers. My family, when we were on the cruise, man,

they chummed the waters with the hamburger bar on the Lido Deck, man. You could feel it. You could feel the tension in the air when you knew they were bringing the new burgers out because my dad would literally time them. He's like, you know, they make you fresh ones out there on the east.

Who is it? Hey, those are the port side or whatever fucking bullshit. And so we'd go show up, hang out there, like we were fucking waiting online for tickets for the Nine Inch Nails concerts, waiting for the fresh batch to come out. So sometimes it's about having an unhealthy relationship to food because we were a menace to society on there, dude.

Well, when all four white clumps showed up, dude, we rolled in like, you've heard that. Everyone's just like, oh, no. Yes. Oh, no. Here come the weed rolling by the thunder cheeks. A roast as dark as the night, perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings

required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes. He's just trying to warn you of the bridge. The bridge. Finally, from the caffeine-addled brains of Spring Hill Jack Coffee and Last Podcast on the left, we bring you Mothman's Red Eye Blend. Yes, delicious Panama beans.

Go to lastpodcastmerch.com to order yours today. Speaking of food and speaking of a tour that we'll be on in January, we can't wait to see you in Australia. Australia. Oh, this is not even, this is the opposite of food. This is all about how you got to be careful. You got to be careful.

It's the problem, man. It's that like, you can't just give in to a dare. Well, we talked about the man who wanted to win a snake by eating a bunch of cockroaches, and then he died of vicious, violent death. Vicious death. There's this dude in Queensland, he's a dad, which makes the whole story much sadder.

His name is David Powell. Now, like any good Aussie, I believe he was dared to eat a gecko, and you have to say yes at that point because that's a dare, and I don't know if it was a double dog dare or a triple dog dare. But anyway, so he ate a gecko, long story short, 10 days later, he died because his entire intestines seemed to evaporate.

And turns out geckos aren't edible. No, dude. It is not fucking good. This happened in Brisbane, which is absolutely beautiful. Love that part of the world. Can't wait to go back. Yes. But so he got, he called him, he was a lovable larrican,

right, which I believe. A lovable larrican. A larrican. Now, what the heck's a larrican? It's a boisterous, often badly behaved young man. No, he's a naughty boy. So it says, like, he's a larrican. So it's like, I guess, yeah, he was a guy that, like,

if you needed a guy to eat a gecko, like, I guess he would. He's your guy. He was a fun guy. He's a fun guy. He's got three kids. I'm sure he was, like, kind of fun around the dinner table. He was like, I'll put the spaghetti up my nose, and then he does that little trick where it looks like

he's crossing with it. I get it. So December the second, they had some big family thing. And then what they said is, like, the next day, his sister was just like, my belly hurts. He kept saying about how bad his belly is. My belly hurts. And then they were like, they didn't want to do anything

about it, right? Because they were like, well, of course, well, like, we don't want to take him to emergency room for no reason. And then he was like, my belly, we're we fucking hurts. And it wasn't until they got to the hospital, he was like, I'm more than eating a gecko. And they're like, what? You know, like, what did you do?

He's like, I'm more than it was a day. You know, I would only do it. And they're like, well, of course, you gotta eat a day. You don't want to be a pussy day, right? Because they don't want to make fucking me all get it. But at the same time, they said that he just had a bit of the gastro, right? Absolutely.

And like, you know, he's just sick. He ate a gecko. He's got to pass it. Full disclosure, this story is a little bit old, but isn't it a tale as old as time? Well, this article just recently came out because they're still trying to desperately figure out what it was that he died of.

But it's not good. Because at first, he said that he had salmonella, right? So he had stomach cramps. And he was like, ugh. And then they said he started throwing up green juice. Oh, that's not good. And then, to me, that's like, obviously, because sure, right?

For a while, I think, ah, gecko, gecko. He's green. That's cute. Like, maybe that's what's coloring it. But then the worst was that his urine was black. Jesus. Unless you're Trent Reznor and you've practiced that. Yeah.

And you want that, right? For your urine. Like, you want spooky pee-pee, right? I guess so. Um, that's not good. But then he started looking pregnant, right? They said they looked at his stomach got huge. And then his lungs started feeling a little fluid.

But the whole time, the doctor kept- What if he gave birth to a big gecko? Yeah, like, I mean- That'd be kind of good. That'd be fun. But he didn't. It didn't happen. That'd be fun.

No, no, he died. But it wouldn't be sweet. But the doctors kept saying like, Oh, I don't know. Like, we don't know. It's like, well, we think he'll be fine. Right? We're just like-

It doesn't seem like it. Seriously? And then his family's like, Well, we're pretty sure he ate a gecko. And then the doctor, in the most doctor thing I ever heard possible, is just said, That could have been it. Like, yeah, he ate a fucking gecko.

But then they're like, there's no evidence. That's what they kept saying. There's no evidence. Like, he's- He's a gecko absolved. He's got dissolved inside of our tummy. It's coming out of him, right? It turns out the diagnosis was simply salmonella.

And I feel like maybe he didn't need to die, but he definitely did. Then his balls swolled up to the size of grapefruits. And they're still like, it'll pass. And they were like, they asked him, Where did the fluid in his balls come from? And they said that it was directly leaking from his stomach. And now I didn't know that you could get there.

Okay, this is okay. His balls got filled with gecko juice. And the whole time they're like, he'll be fine. He'll be fine. This happened to my cousin, Pete. His family said he basically rotted from the inside out. Oh my lordy. They ate anything that's not a food.

They couldn't figure out what to do. And he was so much fluid leaking to his balls. And then they also, all the family's like, Why can't you give him a catheter or drain it? And they're like, we should have thought of that. That literally was what the doctor's response was. We should have thought of that. Yeah, you probably should have.

Just, I don't know, put a faucet in there. Just make yourself a little drink out of it, do something. Oh, it's very sad. But then his whole inside's melted. By the time they got him into surgery, he was basically already a dead person. And then when they opened him up, he essentially looked like a bunch of spanish dip.

Oh my God. Like when I had to do the little dissection of a frog, I messed it all up. So he had three daughters, which is so sad. And his wife says he was a great person. He was the best person I ever met. He was the best dad to our children. And I really don't want him to be remembered like this.

But the thing is, when you die because you ate a gecko, at a party, for a gag, it's just the way that life is. You're going to be remembered for it. I just don't eat a thing that is green. I really think that's a big thing. It's like, because you got to cook it. I just wouldn't imagine. I just wouldn't think that you would die from eating a gecko.

I kind of get the cockroach thing, just because they're so nasty and gnarly and sharp and these sharp edges. I could see how it tears the esophagus. But you would think the human body could handle just slamming down a gecko. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I mean,

do you see a maid Jackie do that shot of mayonnaise once? Wait, what? Yeah, I forget. Well, I think it was for some show. I made her do a full shot of mayonnaise. She got real fucking sick. But when it comes down to it, that's a fun prank. Yeah, that's just you being a horrible brother.

But she said yes. All right. Well, I want to tell this one story out of Colorado because I think this is an interesting tale and I want to hear your thoughts on it, Henry. So it's just Colorado woman. She runs a funeral home, right? And she looks fun.

She's got her barrel blown out. She looks like the kind of gal who would laugh at the guy's balls or look at the chick's tits and be like, whoa, look at those. But anyway, we wonder oftentimes, where do all these body parts come from? There was a Colorado funeral home director. She is now pled guilty to selling hundreds of illegal body parts. She's 45 years old.

Her name is Megan S. She has devised and executed a plan to steal body parts, bodies or body parts from hundreds of victims from 2010 to 2018. Yeah, man. And she definitely has. I've sold tube and hands out of a bucket here. She does.

She looks like she's stuck her finger in an electric socket. She faces up to 20 years in jail, which again, is a little bit, like Galeen Maxwell got 20 years. Like these crimes are not the same. She's dealing with corpses and Galeen was dealing with alive girls. But it is a thing where you don't, you need to, I think that the idea is to discourage illegal body sales, because again, it's hazardous material,

especially if it's not regulated and if it's not kept correctly, it can make a lot of people sick or all just not be useful. Or it's just like, are we just eating these hands? Well, according to the sources, they say that has sold the remains of the victims, sold those remains to victims purchasing the remains for scientific medical or educational purposes. I mean, where else do you get the bodies?

There are legal body part markets. We've talked about this on the show. Like there is like, this is like a thing where it's kind of funny, where she truly is, unlike John Wayne Gacy, just running a mortuary without license. She truly is. She didn't kill these people. I mean, that's a whole other story.

She's just shipping out these body parts, because again, you know, like if people, they have to come claim these bodies, because you know, it's just sad. It's just more symbolic about how these are all people that were not claimed after death. So she just viewed them as essentially garbage or whatever she could do with it, whatever she wants with it.

I don't know if this is a fair comparison, but like Pizza Hut. I've actually kind of gotten back into Pizza Hut. We didn't have any New York. I like my Pizza Hut. But I remember when I worked at Pizza Hut. Yeah, just selling human body parts for profit is very similar to Pizza Hut.

Yeah, in a sense that when you work at Pizza Hut, you see pizzas all day. You're like, oh, there's another fucking pizza. Oh my God, breadsticks. Wow, cool. But when you get it delivered and you don't work there, you're like, dang, breadsticks. So she is surrounded by human bodies at all times.

Oh yeah, so for her, it's like, here's one, there you go. Get these out of here. Yeah, get these out of here. I got stacks of these hands. I think she must be extremely desensitized to the body parts. And so it's very possible. 20 years.

Very, very, very, very, very cool. I mean, I don't know. But apparently it was an elaborate scheme, which also included forged paperwork and misleading buyers about the results of medical tests. According to the DOJ, again, the Department of Justice, this went all the way up to the federal government. There's a lot of stuff going on right now

with it seems to be domestic terrorism and things like that. But anyway, they were involved in this male scheme, including quote, shipping bodies and body parts that tested positive for or belonging to people who have died from infectious diseases. Like Hep B, C, and so on. Yeah, you just don't know, man. This is the problem.

You don't know what's in it if it's not regulated. And it's just, you know, it's ghoulish. Oh, it's definitely ghoulish. It's just business for a lot of the people. And that's the way they look at it. And it gets a lot of attention recently because we are kind of starting to pay attention to this body market.

But I'll always remember the story in Arizona with the guys all washing the fucking torsos in the parking lot with the hose and just being like, this is my job. Like, essentially, I'm just, whew. It's like I'm cleaning out the fry ladders. Someone's got to do it. Because they just don't care.

Like, because again, for research, it makes total sense. Like, again, it's weird how the ghoulish and cryptic nature of medicinal research has followed it throughout the history of science research. About how, like, surgeons started as grave robbers. And it still has not been because we have, I'm going to maybe blame a little bit of our religion, I'd say the ever pervasiveness of a religious outlook

on every single level of our interactions in this country. And this idea that, like, when you're dead, you don't fucking know what's going to happen to you. Who gives a fucking shit? But you know what, like, I know, like, I don't want it to happen to, like, I don't care about my grandma. I don't want it to happen to somebody I love.

But again, you know, like, it's also in this weird hang-up. You're all threatened to cut off my legs so you can save money on a casket every time. And to be frank, I don't give a fuck. Of course, because then we'll sell the legs. It is funny. I don't, well, I just don't really want to be in a casket underground, though.

Even though I know I'm not going to, like, know. So you can just feel free to just blow me up or have a bunch of fish. You'd be, ooh, be me to Chihuahuas. I would like for you to, mm, how do I want to bury you? Like, what do I want to do at the end? I think that if we could just take your face, that'd be kind of cool.

Stretch it out. That would be fucking sweet. If we just got your head, that would be cool. You can do something with that. Just have a, looking at a beautiful gal for all time. But the nice thing about this story, Megan Hess, 45 years old, obviously arrested, but her accomplice was surely,

cock, 66, and that was her mother. So they did it together. See, that's, see, I like a cotton family. Yeah, it's kind of nice. Because then there's a business, at least, and everybody's getting along. But yeah, we just don't know, because I feel like if they do sell something

that's a badly, like, if they don't sell the right body parts to the right medical institutions, are they going to get the right results from what they need? Yeah. Also, they would charge, like, $1,000 for cremations, and then they would give people back, I guess. Oh, just random garbage.

A bunch of dirt. Yeah, man. But again, I don't know, for 20 years, I think 20 years seems a little bit up. Well, it's more that, like, I actually don't mind her, like, because she wasn't serving 10. Right, a lot of times she should get on there. Well, no, it's always three quarters.

Now they changed all that, so she probably used 17 or something. But then, you know, do I believe that Gis Lane probably could get 45 years? Absolutely. But I still think she's going to fucking, quote, unquote, fall ill. Well, I watched my boy Larry.

My boy Larry Lawton. You can listen to my interview, or our interview on Top Hat with Larry Lawton, but he had some interesting things to say about the prison system when it comes to the female perspective and manipulation. It's going to be difficult. But she has money, so she's probably, as usual, money helps.

And she'll be in isolation. She'll be far away from everybody. She'll only have to rub snatch with anybody she wants to rub snatch with, and they'll fly him in and stuff. Because you won't be able to be near anybody else. I don't know. Also, just lastly, a story that's just horrible

in Savage, Minnesota, ironically enough, there was this dude who ran a animal sanctuary for rabbits. But then they found 50 dead rabbits in his barn. And then the name of the place was dubbed Peace Bunny Cottage. And according to a criminal complaint, they found 47 dead rabbits, scores of rabbits running loose. And then he had just a bunch of like, there's a bunch of rabbit shit all around.

And then a bunch of baby rabbits infested with maggots and stuff. So anyway, that's a horrible story. And it's just about rabbits. Yeah, because you say peace bunny, but it's just more like peace bunny. Yeah, peace bunny. Goodbye, bunny.

So you're going to hell, bunny. Never trust anyone who has a rabbit rescue, I guess, either because- No, you should. People don't. People normally, like, you know what? I've never heard of a rabbit rescue before. There has to be.

ScienceStoriesLPOTL.com. Do you know of a rabbit rescue that doesn't kill every one of the rabbits? Are they good? Yeah, Stephanie Smith was the gal's name. Apparently the animals were not in appropriate condition. So anyway. Really did horrible, great story, Kissel.

And I'm just glad we kept it light. Keep it in light. All right, everyone. It's time for Hero of the Week. Hero of the Week. Why is it always the animals that are Hero of the Week? What about people? Well, it's because the reason why is

because we haven't had a genuine hero in the country for about a year. Well, if you thought, if you were annoyed with me making animals Hero of the Week, wait until this Hero of the Week, which is technically a road. Yeah, he's just made an inanimate object. Officials from Tennessee State Parks,

the Tennessee Department of Transportation, and local leaders cut ribbon on a 2.5 mile long road made from rubber crumbs derived from tires that were thrown away inappropriately. You see, and he acts as if the road chose this. The road did because isn't the road now sentient. Well, I've said this to Natalie as it was. Isn't it nice for things like litter to exist

because then animals can find new ways to find little homes in them. Isn't it cute when you see little snail in a mountain dew can? Yeah, that's what they love. They love it. They love that. I did read that there are new types of fish now that love fucking microplastics.

Oh, yeah. No, we're going to be really surprised what adapts to what we're forcing the planet to become. Absolutely. So these tires were illegally dumped in an area around the park. Don't be doing all that. They were then transformed into crumbs

by the Patriot Tire Recycling in Bristol. And now they become a tire road. And one of the things I like about it is you can almost feel, remember when they would do a little track and field and they would have the rubbery ones? They're kind of fun to run on because they don't hurt your knees as much. So I can imagine this road is kind of comfortable as well.

And this is a reminder to reuse, reduce, recycle. So the workers cleaned up 24,000 dumped tires and they were able to get 2.5 miles out of them. I'd say it was the workers. The road, yes. The workers made the road, are they here? No, I'm looking at the road right now and it looks extremely cozy, comfortable.

And it's just nice to know that there are roads out there taking responsibility for the environment and making themselves out of recycled tires. Because this is the only other hero of the week submission we got. I was going to give it to the hot dog guy. Yeah, I mean, that is the closest. But the other one is man rescued facing charges in Green County after floating nude on a group of logs.

Yeah, I mean, I don't know what's heroic about that. He didn't get away. He said that he was blaring and singing the song, God bless the USA, over and over again. I think that might actually just be that dude who initially sang it. That guy who went fricking batshit crazy. This is named Ted Stevens or something like that.

Yeah, Ted Stevens. Something like that. Not Ted Stevens, but he is absolutely insane. All right. Well, I don't really, you know what? This week, I don't have a lot of letters. I'm going to come back next week with some letters. I'm going to use this opportunity to have you go out there

and pre-order our new last comic book on the left version two. It's out there. Go pre-order it. It's going to have even more shit. We have crazy artists on this comic book and you should fucking check it out. It's going to be like, we've worked really hard on it. I wrote a full comic book for it.

I'm so excited. Detective Popcorn's making another appearance. It's going to be fucking sweet. So that's my letter from me to you. All right. Well, there it is. Yeah, you got to love every day knowing for a fact that you're your own country and you're your own dictator

of your own little country. And so what's important, though, is to remember. Ray Stevens. Like, Ray Stevens. Thank you. Ray Stevens. Thank you. But you're your own little dictator, right?

But that doesn't mean you necessarily have to go and invade anybody else's other shit, right? Don't do it. I wouldn't do it. You want to take care of your own little jurisprudence and laugh knowing that you are in charge of your little world. You can do whatever you want to your own belly, to your own body, to your own feet, to your own,

like, whatever you want. You can do whatever you want with your own spirit. I don't even know if that's entirely true. I can yell at Wendy, but also praise her. Yeah, sure. Yeah, maybe. But it's only for her protection, right? Again, I'm her.

That's the only thing in this world I have total control over is that little dog. That's true. Yes, indeed. But still she has way more freedom than she even should. They're in control of us, aren't they? Are they the ones in charge? I need the ones.

But also, I don't think, I don't want the responsibility of any form of anybody else's life. I don't want to be in control of you, all right? No. And I love that. Absolutely. Leave people the fuck alone. Also, we want to congratulate Ed and Julie Rosin.

Seriously. They had a fantastic marriage. He's beautiful. And we say Ed Rosin. Is this Ed Rosin, Rosen? Rosen. Rosen. But that is legal.

He's still Ed Larson professionally. He's still Ed Larson, but I thought that was very sweet because he was looking for a last name and he took hers. And that little break of tradition is very romantic and very sweet. And they had a wonderful wedding. So congratulate them on Twitter or whatever. If you see them, just be like, congrats.

Congrats was because Larson was actually a whitewashing of his very Jewish last name by his family. They did not want, they wanted a, they had a more difficult pronunciation, pronouncing name. And then his father changed it to Larson. So now he's like, I want to be me. There you go.

Absolutely. So congratulations to the beautiful couple. And it's so nice to have another one, another duo hitched here at the LPN network. Yeah, it looks like you caught the bouquet and then you ate it like a horse. Which was incredible. Honestly, it was incredible.

To be fair, it was an edible arrangement made of nothing, but beef jerky. All right, everyone. Thank you for listening. Hail yourselves. Congratulations, everyone. And me fuck up. All right.