Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Joe Rogan 2.0

Episode Date: February 16, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: The Pennsylvania Chupacabra's true identity REVEALED, "Joe Rogan 2.0" terrorizes Vegas with grenade loaded butt, new waves of Slime-Rain causing concern in 2022, the Oregon man caught "Cosplaying" as a DEA Agent, a Grandma saved from kidnapping by Wordle, Hero of the Week, Listener Stories, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories Side stores, yes Yep, this is the beginning man, I can really see you're getting healthy. No, I did not not now I had I had so many beers and McDonald's and chicken wings Weekend Super Bowl weekend man Super Bowl weekend people like it people like that. They love their salt And it was accompanied by Valentine's Day right there at the end. So it was like it almost really helps you Oh, it was so nice and thanks to everyone who posted their pictures of love. You're always love seeing that

It was great to see everyone's wives. I what am I supposed to do hard it like it'd be like that's a nice wife I don't know how to react with everyone is telling me how many people they're in love with I don't know what to do I feel that about pictures of children Like I don't want to I don't want to like I don't want a heart to picture of your child. Good. Yes. Nice kid Nice. I tell you what I'm a victim of the deep state. What are you looking at apparently? They got upset about like which you because it but it was satire and my lovely post about my wife that you're sort of Contractually obligated to do even though even if we don't celebrate the holiday Well, you did because you posted on there you posted it on there again

So I could see it and everyone else maybe slightly lonely could see it, but that's fine Okay, you just need to try harder and you need to be better sure but the thing is is that you know You feel like you have to put it up there I did and then I guess like somebody sent word that I might have like Physically threatened Meryl Streep in the first post right? What did I say to Meryl Streep? I was trying to say think of a funny thing right this idea of like oh My wife's better than any other woman in existence. So I was trying to be Meryl Streep I was like no, she's fucking she's she had a common

Okay, she's sitting over there and I said she's better even then your precious Meryl Streep as matter of fact if I Want it if I needed to drown Meryl Streep in gasoline and then set her body on fire If that could make my wife smile, I would do it right and I sure that's funny. It's a funny bit Um, I immediately was Threatened with cancellation of my entire account for a violent rhetoric Okay, there you go. I love it superstar. Well, see there that's what you get for doing something Well, I am so sick of that I have been in free speech jail for like fucking how many

15 years 15 years speech jail and honestly for a while I got used to it because you can I've been working out Of course, you can you read, you know, yeah, because you become more like oh, I'm safer in here than out there Absolutely, they're gonna be like that. So just I had one moment of recess. Uh-huh, all right What comes out to you Meryl Streep's fine Meryl Streep's got a phalanx of Security, right? She's got an army of women and Afghans with AK-47s Right to make sure that she's protected people bringing her fresh flowers that has dynamite inside of it That she exploded any time to commit suicide if she has to also destroy a threat. She's fine She is fine. Welcome to side stories everyone. I am Ben hanging out with Henry. Yeah, wow

Can't even threaten to douse Meryl Streep and gasoline and later ablaze for the simple pleasure of one's wife What is social media coming to I agree this censorship has gone too far news at 11 I'm being cancelled by myself. We have never gotten hired by anything. No, so we were pre-canceled and That's fantastic. All the nose. We're like, I wonder why they said no Turns out maybe someone did a search of our content and we're no we want to deal with that No, speaking of content last episode. We did talk about a little dog and It was a chupacabra. Well, we didn't know we didn't know we waited for the test to find out I guess they had to do some scrape along its pinga or something. I don't know what you've got to do to make sure you

Don't know what it the animal is. You just take a little bit of its blood or some or sure I don't know you'd ask it. You put you show pictures of animals in front of it and see which one appoints that see which one I recognize oh my god, and they made a big deal about how mysterious this animal was and there was no way they were gonna figure out What it was and it's a chupacabra and it's a coyote It's a coyote. Yeah, it's just that animal and then we had a lot of people then also write in because we asked like Is it possible for a dog and a coyote to interbreed and what would that fucking be like and a lot of people said absolutely as a Matter of fact, I watch coyotes fuck dogs every other day Well, and that was a little strange when they were too into it

But yes that does turn out to be an actual thing and apparently if a dog and a coyote mate they create a super cute little Guy forget what they called it a coyote a coyote pop or you know a coyote pop a dog dog. Yachty dog Yachty, let's go with dog Yachty. I like dog Yachty They make a cute little dog Yachty and the only thing that makes them slightly different than normal dogs is they're slightly skittish. Yeah They're like a little Marcus But you know and I'm glad but now that that coyote is now free It's walking around Pennsylvania where it shouldn't be because actually probably cold for it And it's probably dead by now, which is honestly very sad. Well speaking of dead

I had a great weekend and I want to talk about Because you have one of those great fun weekends one thing that must be nice about Valentine's Day as a sort of kicker a coda to Super Bowl Sunday is that you can really become a total unruly Unrepentant monster for a full 72 hours, right? Sure. Well, especially if you don't have anything to do on Valentine's Day other than sleep and cuddle your dogs drive by truckers I had a chance to see them with Ed Larson on Friday. That was fantastic. And then I saw oh my god Lucha Vavoo if you haven't seen Lucha Vavoo, you've got to see it. It's the greatest thing I've ever seen in my life live. We don't do entertainment our show sucks

They have burlesque people jump off of high points of buildings and lucha wrestling. It's so fun So if you have a chance check it out and of course the Super Bowl was a great time as well So hope everyone had a fantastic weekend, but speaking Wait this weekend to know before we get into any news I also want to say something that I told you this over text and I wanted to talk about this a little bit on the show Oh, this is actually hold on a second. We need a bigger intro for this Oh here you hear that sound that's the sound of my hymen being broken Because I was leaving I was leaving a disreputable bar in Atlanta called trackside

And I was leaving and yeah, I was tiny bit intoxicated, but I could have been way more intoxicated than I was It was only 1145. Okay, so at this point, I am assuming because I've had five drinks You've had five drinks two and a half hours strong whiskey drinks double whiskies Yes, you ain't driving that's for sure. I'm not driving my eyes are working Sometimes you can give the guy 20 bucks and he lets you do sit on his lap and do the wheel which is actually really fun Yeah, um, you've never done that. No sounds like horrible childhood memory. No my boy Gregor. He does it all the time He's got a really deep lap And he's not reason it always feels like I'm sitting on the stick shift. Whoa

Oh, hi, we were driving down the street. It's about 1145 at night. Yeah, and I am not I'm not joking around This is this is absolutely serious. We pulled up More jokey When you try to be serious because it's called the curse of my life. Okay, so now my therapist hits me with all time being like Maybe you should change your tone. You say these things in a jokey way Obviously, you're in pain and I'm like you just fucking take your money. Take my money. Yeah, that's how all therapy meetings end usually So let's just take my money. This is scary. Look I'm having

Okay, I was at the track and I saw a Circular okay globular. Okay object. I'm not I'm dead serious It was shape. It was it looked like the only way to describe it was like a floating Like but you know in astronauts when they show an astronaut to them like you know squirting the toothpaste out I'm like drinking their juice how it floats like a little orb. Mm-hmm. I saw one of those Go down the tracks, right and enough so me and the Uber driver both said out loud What the fuck is that? How big was it? It looked like it looked like the size of a beach ball Okay, and I know it wasn't a bird because at first I thought maybe that was like an owl in its reflection

It was still and it moved really slow Sort of like bobbing like it was going up and down up and down like it was floating through water And then we pulled up to the train track and we looked down the train track and watched it go as it went down And I was talking with my friend Madeleine Brumby Who's she's with Shane Morton and all like like the though now Madeline of course fantastic artist in her own, right? Yes, and she told me that's your ghost train That was like Because I know that

The actual like Presentation of what you'd call a liminal space because nowadays the term liminal space is getting a lot of it's getting a lot of Real estate on tiktok and all these things a lot of times they just show a picture of like an empty or gutted room And they say lemon in a space sure a liminal space is supposed to be in transition And this is literally like a roadway, which is why a lot of times they say Things like anomalous phenomena It happens at like crossroads and shit Like that's why you hear all these like folktales about crossroads train tracks because those are actual traveling spaces

And so weirdly in a way Whatever it could be is some sort of intelligence or something that's sort of like either a mox or is a is as of a result of Well, maybe doing traveling in specific areas. Maybe it was easy e going to hang out with his friends bone thugs in Harmony Reference see on the other side the crossroads by the way that half-time show that was for us now Well, that is amazing. So go straights. That is a real thing do they house Little ghosts in there ghosts on the move or are they going to a ghost concentration camp? Let's change it up a little bit. You know what you can do with a human asshole. It is an amazing thing in jail I was talking with my friend Larry Lawton. They pocket it. They stuff it up there. It's you are it the human body

What can't it do fly? It can't fly live underwater regulate its own temperature. Yeah, I can't live underwater You can't grow bigger than get really small Like now would be cool if you could but it can take a grenade up its asshole this dude in Las Vegas I'm going to say he was hammered You can tell it from his mug shot because he's not shot. He looks like the noid Yeah, he's smiling and pointing to himself as if he's not the only one in the picture, but he's very proud So he walked into this place called the strat and this is a building. It's in Las Vegas. Have you ever been to the strat? No, I don't know what the strat is and I've been there multiple times. It doesn't sound like a casino

The strat sounds like where you where you go make a billionaire come by stepping on his eyeballs or something So the dude his name is Brian Gower But don't tell him that because he goes by Joe Rogan 2.0. Yeah, and what? That's how we introduce himself because he walked in I don't know why he was doing this because I don't know why did this because he said He threatened to blow up the casino at the front desk because they said he had a grenade up his asshole This was what he said though. He said he said that he had a grenade up his asshole and He wanted a fart. So that's gonna that's

Does a fart the fart doesn't even put the grid that doesn't do anything unless you have the pin in your finger Right, you know what it has like the coli when you hold the trigger after you pull the pin You know, I mean, I've never done it. No, have you ever done that not yet When have you ever been given a grenade? No one will let me have one I remember one time and there was a place called in Outside of where my parents live in Florida the Ocala flea market was nothing I forgot what which flea market it was, but they sold live grenades They had them because they called them vintage, but the guy was like a base bar about this

Yeah, we can get going. He's got active dynamite inside of it. And I was like, oh cool. Yeah, I'm not here I have no idea how to handle this. This is so great with no training at all. I'm gonna buy this for a dollar along with a Hergibart. I'm gonna sell that TV pitch Yeah, finally Well that you know what you bring up a good point because sometimes you have to raise awareness to yourself And then you do that with a firearm busted into dude. I don't know that Tindler Swindler dude that guy that would like it's a part of this documentary, you know, he's beef. He loves bombs Unfortunately vulnerable women a lot of them are um, I haven't heard

It's a documentary on Netflix and it's basically what he does is he meets you He susses out whether or not you are as gullible as you can be and he figures that he's got that kind of sixth sense for it And then he takes you all that you're worth like you basically goes through your whole life He systematically destroys you he makes you take up this one woman took out 250 grand worth of loans She's absolutely on his horse should say like, you know, he said he he was like the son of a billionaire diamond Well, then why am I giving him money? It's all fake. It's all absolutely fake People just already are so desperate and so lonely, you know, you know, they'll do anything for love. Yeah, I certainly went Not to steal a line from me love. I certainly wouldn't do that

But yeah, he's a but he's like on the verge of getting right back into it because he only had to serve a couple of years in Jail Yeah, the Tiddler swindler fucking date the Tiddler, but he's already swindler He's trying to come back and do a podcast and do television show I don't know this dick is a little hook on it. It's just ready to swindle more money out of women's vaginas. They love it Speaking of swindling, isn't that what acting is so Brian? Joe Rogan 2.0 he said this is when he was being interviewed by the place He said that he was an actor trying to raise awareness of bomb attacks

And now he spoke more of Joe Rogan and Kim Jong-un and said he had been in prison for choking on his ex-wife After she got upset with him for thinking about mass shootings I don't what happens in Vegas sometimes travels all the way to a federal penitentiary What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas that tagline was created by a fed It is so you think that it won't but it definitely will and then they come and they scoop you this guy was He's just fucking internet poisoned He really believed that he I guess you I think he was just full of shit And he was angry at the world because he's low T

How angry do you know shoving a grenade up your ass all the high T move? No, you'd be the opposite. No, he's a full head of hair. This is the problem By the way that theory it is a theory working theory when it no man look at me dude. I'm high T bro. Look at You sound like Alex Jones now I wish well this man he claimed that his lawyer was Saul Goldman Of course, he's not a real character. No, it also made comments about the Illuminati So it seems like let's just say he had a small mental break and it went about as well as possible is there such a thing as We'll talk about this and you know you were taking you will talk about this a little bit on on top

I'm certain and like the idea of like what happened with Q how it kind of started as a lark and then became real and then Like there's to me like yes, sure He might have had a quote-unquote mental break or is is this stuff that he hears sometimes Which is also fine. I'm not saying it's about incendiary talk or whatever. It's not like censoring But it's about like no incendiary device in his asshole. Yes. Yes, what about the guy's hammered? He and he's hammered and he here's a bunch of shit that instead of it No, it's not that he's went crazy. It's that it's like now He has permission to act a certain way because he felt that now that this thing's out there to talk about like

It's like funny to do and that he is almost doing it in a meme-like fashion He's doing it to go viral in a way, but then it ends up being a real federal crime I think you make a very solid point when it comes to people thinking that if it's if it's done in plain sight That means I don't get trouble for in trouble for it because I'm famous if you think that's true Check out the Tiger King who now has a movie based on him or a TV series and he's still just running away in jail as Carol Baskin I don't know celebrates the murder of her husband for another year. It's crazy They went to go revise his fucking his term limit or whatever the amount of time he was gonna be jail They only knocked a year off it. Yeah, dude. He's not doing well in there. No, he's gonna die in there

Well kind of sticking in Las Vegas and sticking with Henry's previous conversation about what the fuck is that shit? It's back baby, so I'm back and it's better than ever and it's making people sick So a mysterious liquid was seen falling from the sky over a neighborhood in Las Vegas It was an eastern neighborhood people have been perplexed by these brown and black droplets They've been falling on their properties and no one has any idea what they are They've been seen on cars RVs basketball courses the whole thing. So I what the heck's going on here It's happening in East Las Vegas, which is interesting because also like I watch some news Like real about it and it's the it's this is where things happen in Vegas

But they stay in Vegas because you home town Vegas. Yeah. Yeah. This is real Vegas, right? So when you go here like no one will talk on camera. That's how you know, it's real Vegas I know none of the witnesses will talk but what they're saying is they're not getting any messages back from the FAA They've been talking to the they've been asking people what it is and they're coming out And there's one man basically said it's coming in waves He's like you go outside and it seems to be he says in his mind He says it's being propelled by the wind, okay It's coming from one direction and it's getting all over his cars

People are not being able to like do things like barbecue outside. They said that they try to do a barbecue and Literally this gunk came from the sky. No cloud in the sky It's not like it's it's some form of like you I guess it could be a faint chem trail But I don't know what the the what they're doing with it yet I don't know what it's supposed to do but it's it's covering things in this droplets and of this essentially slime and No one is telling them what it is. No, Marco Cervantes Yeah, he is the one who's been seen it or everyone has but he's been talking about it for two to three to four weeks

He says it could be grease oil. I don't know It's very hard to maintain his vehicles though and because of that a lot of people are wondering as Henry points out in his alien segment What is that shit? No one knows if it's harmful I'm gonna say don't like go outside and open your mouth to the heavens and be like, oh, this is fun Can't be good. No, but it's that IPA From God, you know, I mean like only if only but no this guy You know, it's interesting though. It's that you know where it's close to obviously the open-air space where we test all of our top-secret Technology right once does that make the housing does that make the housing market more or less expensive?

I you know what I don't I don't know I actually think I might make it less Because it has to be super far away from any normal airport and it's out there like they Specifically like we'll put it in a place. It's really hard to get to right and then like once every three months They're like, well, yeah, the pricing is pretty good out here But once every three months There's a new biological weapon and it just kind of breeze through but don't worry. You're the test market So if you live just think about how much you're saving and you get the insurance payout. I'm certain. Oh, yeah

I bet I definitely take care of you But there is footage that someone showed of two stealth bombers like those big scary Just like flying super low over the planes going to wherever the landing strip It is that they go to so I couldn't you know I would not be necessarily surprised if this is not something Flowing out of the back of an airplane accidentally or is it for real because also we just have hold on a second We got all these stealth bombers You mean to tell me it's as simple as like when you go when you got to put the gas can back on after you

Think it's that like I got this extra gas. Oh gosh darn it Well, I don't know we just covered operation sea spray where they literally sprayed people from ships and they covered all over people We just covered We're gonna cover next week on episode three of MK ultra about the further Biological warfare that we tested in Antigua like this is a shit that that does It does happen and it's the reason why Your uncle's going insane right now Well, it really does also we won't get into it too much here

But I'm sure we will in the future the war zone again There was a mysterious aircraft that was spotted over area 50 or at area 51 That's really freaking trippy and we're about to see what our new tech looks like soon Dude, we are going to see don't you think next Henry? Don't you think like this is a leak story too, right? Like they didn't just magically find a picture of this like this must have been a slow release for the US military Be like get them ready for the new shit. They are actively Waiting and and ready and now building things to go in the sky that will look like UAP

So they can now blame the UFO craze on people seeing new shit in the sky and it's also going to get in a way what it does is create a Psychic support for new weaponry in the sky because what it does is say like all well You better figure out something to fight these damn aliens are gonna come any come You know they're going for my precious wife But you know these guys are fucking It's very interesting to see what kind of moves that they're gonna do because I feel like we're gonna they are they are really The CIA and these various black ops companies are so excited about how insane everyone is right now because they can do anything

There's a lot of money to be made there. You know, it would be nice when it comes to planes more bathrooms We have not seen an increase in player bathrooms for 50 fucking years We know the human dump ratio is going to get it's gonna need to piss now more than ever before for health reasons We understand that can we please God just a couple of more bathrooms on the airplanes or just make The seat a toilet. I'm gonna tell you right now. I don't know how you fit in some of these I was in a quick coming back from Atlanta. I was in the small my knees touched the door You know what airplane bathroom if my knees touch the door. I'm allowed to keep the door open now We're all in the bathroom and now we're all in the bathroom, baby

Sorry, we just turned to uncle corner. I want to talk about this other story now. What if what do we tell you? All right, this is really important, especially if you're person organizing some kind of protests or something if you talk to someone on the internet Very careful a what not an assassin They are a police officer, right anybody that you speak to that you have you should you shouldn't you you should assume That if you are talking to someone who you cannot see their face They are a member of the government trying to you into doing something your husband died ten years ago I'm finally getting back out. I know and all of a sudden you realize It's once the trust is she added. It's difficult to get it back and this story

It doesn't necessarily just hope rebuild it very well. Yes. Oh, you know what we need to do what an eat pray love that takes place Around the insurrection. It's about a woman finally be finding love like she's so excited There was a date we cover this on top of it There was a woman that was flown there with a dude like the dude flew her out there and he broke up with her there at Insurrection and then she flew back alone anyway But never trust anything apparently that's what we're learning So this is actually the even the opposite of that then sometimes if you meet someone and they tell you they're a cop They're not one. It's you know, I mean, so this is this story is wild this happened in Portland

Da imposter tricked a woman into bogus training program, right? Oh be very very We're none of us or Will Smith in men in black. Nobody. It thinks we can do anything. It's never that okay So this dude right a man named Robert Edward Golden He was outside of the Portland Art Museum and he was with a young unnamed woman Because she hasn't been named in any of this because they immediately what I would say is actually probably good of the cops So they assessed her out as being she knew that she was not the problem It was she may have it sounds like maybe traffic or something. We'll find out So they found out they basically saw this guy. He was a silver Dodge Charger again cops

Don't drive a Dodge Charger and they said they saw a guy. They was out there like and He was he had his back of a car open and there was a tactical vest that said DEA police on it And their vehicle was completely outfitted with police lights was around the rear by applies the license plate It was inside the front rear windshield, right dude that to me as we've talked about many many times What is scarier than a cop a person who wasn't capable of even what I mean do you a cop because these people pull you over? God your killer. It's so scary. Yes, it's really scary. It's really scary. And that's why always ask for a badge number Even if it's fucking rude always ask for fucking oh, yeah, yeah, always Now the surgeon so the cops they looked over they went to go talk to this guy

Right that they noticed that he had a gun hanging out from underneath his jacket And so when he removed and then they gave him the gun there was okay turned out It was a replica with but it had live bullets in it So it had real bullets and a fake gun wait what why does that mean? What does that even mean I can see it because it's him with the woman being like we can never be too careful I got these hollow points and then he shows her the hollow points right and then he sticks it in cuts to the woman Right they asked the woman for her credentials and she's just like yeah right here I'm DEA she flashed a badge and ID card preferring to be issued by the DEA and then they went through his truck

They found more holsters another tactical vest, and then they found a rifle an AR-15 rifle Which turned out to be what a bb gun? At least none of it is like at least he doesn't have real guns all over the place true getting ready to do something horrible with them Yes, this is true This is just fantasy right the guy who had the fucking brass fucking balls to tell the cop We're feds all right. We just got don't worry about it. I got more I got all these police equipment in here All stuff in my house come by I could show you all my IDs and shit the cops were like okay sure We're just gonna go and let's ask the DEA themselves, right?

We're gonna bring over the DEA sure they hand them over to the DEA and guess where you never want to be In the hands of the DEA no you can be in one no definitely not you don't want to be there, right? And then they they think the game of the DEA he was like oh fuck you didn't said okay listen while the woman's staring at him This is all cosplay. It's cos we're having a cosplay time We're doing cosplay cosplay only counts if you're a big titted woman in a power girl costume right so not Centaur that's cosplay at comic-con you don't just do it. I mean you don't just That's not cosplay it's a person a police officer right and then he said listen He's his thing is he said this is a direct quote from golden

My thing is is I didn't want anyone to bother me or this woman in and around our apartment complex And we feel that the fake DEA items provides us with protection And that my thing about the red and blue interior lights in this vehicle is that it helps me get through traffic faster You know what? Sir, I yes, you are correct. It is also exceptionally illegal Golden said he had previously acted as a police officer to break up a fight by shouting quote police So he's gonna end up dead is what's gonna happen because again He's not a real cop and someone is just gonna beat the living shit out of him

And then he was who bleed out on the street. She also Apparently was completely confused by the bus cuz I guess They really just thought that we're larping cosplay anywhere She told the agents that she was a DEA agent in training and was also attending school for criminal justice Taught by him one-on-one. I don't know why I mean this poor woman and she said but I met agent Anderson agent Louise agent Garcia and Ms. Bennett from the DA or she talked to them and then DA says we don't have anybody of that name here And then she said that she was going on ride-alongs

Which also like they say the DA said we don't do that. We don't do ride-alongs. That doesn't make any sense now Is it my according to this article? I don't believe there was any sexual funny business Well, they said that they're trying to find out what are the actual nature of the relationship Yeah, I could see the baton training going either way I've seen some training videos and you gotta tell you what you can really believe that they can get a grenade anywhere When you see some of these training stuff. Well, you don't have these documentaries Absolutely, you can put a grenade a whole series of places as we've already covered, but I do Wonder if this was just

Cording gone horribly wrong by two people who have no idea how to be normal It's just like you can kind of see this movie. There's gonna be a movie one day because you can really see this guy Like trying to find his way around like obviously obsessed with the cops very similar to David Berkowitz Jumbling, okay, BTK obsessed with the cops wants to be one probably fed this line on a date with this woman or me Maybe meeting this woman and then slowly but surely like because then he you know I bet what can even happen is that she gets super serious about being a cop and he was like, oh Fuck now. God to continue this game. I gotta go get all the stuff and all right here I gotta roll up and then slowly but surely she's probably she's like he maybe he makes a move and she's like

I just want us to stay professional I feel like it's really important for us to fight crime and he and he has to be like yeah, you're you're right You're right, and then all of a sudden you're just deeper in this bullshit where you have to fake Teaching her like how to handcuff people even though they're covered in lube. I'm sorry I almost let my balls get in the way of criminal justice Meanwhile, then you have you have gone so deep in the character that you forget that you were never a cop to begin with And now you are just training this woman because they also used to approach homeless people and try to get all of these Confidential sources to see eyes and all that kind of shit, but I like to and it just makes no sense

There's just out there doing nothing. No, there's a lot of mental illness within the homeless community I just it reminds me of like when you dream and you dream you're at work And you're like can you wake up and you're like I could dream I could have dreamt I had eight dicks And I was flying in a unicorn but anything it just if you're gonna cosplay. It's not real Why not just be a I don't know Ren fairer King Something you know be a wizard like why cosplay as like a DEA agent because DEA agents Cosplay as like little gimps on Saturday as they wear ballgags and cry like no one this isn't fun cosplay This is just someone else's job. This is a job inside, you know, like yeah, I guess it could be a very exciting job

But I also feel like mostly not one you're an asshole because because number one you're fucking your busting drugs Which is just like what are we doing here? Well, you know, you can best bust some fentanyl safe Boss the fentanyl glee by read alone. They leave the weed alone now I hope I hope but you know then you know watch me get fucking next thing You know DEA truck just fucking going through my whole house But it's just it is weird I think that the wanting to be a cop and and not fully go into a process I can kind of see the attraction, but wouldn't you rather be like a stormtrooper?

You could also be sexy cop then be like, I don't know. There's just so many just cosplay is judge dread Yeah, that's cool. I think so. All right. Well speaking of cool People love their games and they like to play this game on their phone and it's called a wordle I have heard of wordle. I don't know. I don't know what it is I'm one of those contrarians that I don't do a thing when everybody's doing the thing like I wait till years later And then do it which is why I've just discovered this new game. Have you heard it? It's called sorry Must be Canadian. So this woman was held So a woman so but the nice thing about wordle it brings people together. Okay, sure

so this this woman she was held hostage by a dude who was naked and She was rescued because she failed to send her daughter her daily wordle score, dude It was honestly she did such a good job She was 80 years fun and she figured out a way to live. She really did Denise whole she was fast asleep This is a fucking nightmare Denise holst fast asleep all of a sudden Sunday night. She found herself in a nightmare This dude was standing by her bed holding a pair of scissors He initially slid into her bed next to her and then he said he was not gonna harm or molest her

But it's also like you gotta go dude. It was really scary But then what she did was she she got into his head. She was like you're scaring me with your scissors You're scaring me and so he's just like I'm sorry ma'am. I'm sorry ma'am and he put the scissors down And then he barricaded her in the bathroom. He's like, but it was weird. It was kind of weirdly like he kept her safe from him Well, not like really because he also drug her around the house and it's not good. Did all the phones I'm not saying like good for him. I'm not saying like yas. You gotta buy you didn't fucking make And then she's like I'm gonna need my medications. I need I need some food or whatever and then Holds got her meds and then he said you're the captain of the team. I'm just a teammate. You run the place

I'm the running back and then he bought it It's crazy. She said I don't want to die like this and I don't want my kids to hear that their mother was murdered Oh my god, and there's no telling how Holt might have remained captive or how long rather if not for the concern of her daughter Who lived 2,000 miles away? So the daughter was like yo mom you're slipping on wordle. What's going on? And so Holt told the station I didn't send my older daughter a wordled in the morning and that was disconcerting to her I just have to say this my I don't

Sadly my parents would be dead Because I don't have if your mom like is there any like is there a thing that you do with your parent every day? We're like I got my 10 a.m. Wordle for mom like I don't I know I think it's very cute Is this relationship and it saved her life? Yes, but it is it is hard to do you got it like I guess it's good to keep in touch with your parents You got to make sure that they don't get held hostage. I know my mom goes for the full frontal assault So I feel like she would have kind of either escalated this to murder Or she could have beat the man because the man wasn't that big-looking and I once my mom is five foot tall now

Probably about 411 five foot strong though. She's she's a an Italian five foot. She's pure tit fuel She's mean about it physically. She's very physically very strong somehow like she can hurt me You know, so I feel yeah No, your mom your mom it would be it would be the closest to throw mama from the train Yes, if like the burglars took over your house, and then your mom would be like just fucking yeah Why don't you just fucking kill me then and then they would fucking be like so freaked out There'd be so upset you and my mom would be the ultimate weapon because if you could pick up my mom and throw her into a fight

Because I really really she had the momentum because then she'd be like and down comes to him It comes to him a hammer Linda. I thought he's just coming and just sort of swinging and like just start kicking and punching She's indiscriminate about what she does when it comes down when If you get between her Yeah, once as a Browsky start spinning I mean you just got to get out of the way and wait for it Let him go to sleep. Let him let him sleep because there's any way so Play wordle or something have some connection with your parents because you never know when a naked intruder is gonna end up at

Their bedside with a pair of shears Threatening to kill them. So anyway, that's just never thought you don't ever know and never know and also I think it's important. Remember when this comes to hostage negotiation Bring them in close bring them in close Yes, bring them in close because then it's hard for them to begin it. You create like a fake the Stockholm syndrome Yeah, you get them. Then you get them. Absolutely All right, well speaking of bringing them in close, let's do here of the week All right this week's here of the week is video games

interestingly enough Because just the art form of video games. Well, I think it's interesting because we know social media is anti-social media Thank you somebody said it there's people apart However, video games on average Americans have made five new online friendships while playing video games Absolutely the last 18 months and I think that is a good thing Because um, you know, it could be a lonely world out there I think video games are a little bit better than even like fandom places or like like, you know, like internet blogs I feel like that's at least there you're actively working towards a collective goal and you're having fun doing it and give you meet people that are

With your interests. Absolutely. So the survey had it was 2000 adults They said 39% saw an increase in online friends Aside from friendships nearly half of the gamers believe it's important and 43% have dated someone they met online So video games, especially World of Warcraft and other games like that are bringing people together people politicians Religious zealots everyone with shit on video games Do your parents tell you the video games are going to rot your fucking brain? Well, it actually turns out to be the absolute Absolute opposite. It's good for brain growth in children

Of course not to be totally addicted and I'm not even talking about this metaverse bullshit. That's not a video game We need to attack the VR sphere. I mean this I really do while I do believe that our artificial intelligence should be given a shot to exist I think that we should be figure out a way for us to work like Cooperatively like that should be a thing like they should help us be able to populate the universe And we should help them by giving them the gift of laughter And teach them about tits. I think that really helped them and how great a pussy is and No one has legs anymore because everyone was gang assaulting each other just all dumb

It's the dumbest shit But when it comes down to it We need to if your office wants to do the fucking VR helmet thing you need to attack the servers Please I don't mean the waiters the waiters are blessed I mean you go down to where the computer servers are and you take them out pour water on them And be like I don't know what happened because we can't get here No, absolutely not this especially now that people are air quotes working from home But then they're like why don't you do it in the metaverse and you're like why don't I just commit suicide?

So also when it comes to video games people often play with their they real-world passions come through Oh sure like racing games or boxing games or simulation games You have a good chance to meet someone who also likes that stuff and then you can meet in real life So there you go. I love driving around picking up sex workers and beating back my back in my car taking the money And then driving to get the car painted so the cops don't find me GTA 5. Do you remember of course I remember that was everyone's favorite thing. I Was it still is everyone's favorite thing, but it's but I mean the game it does like I mean like what people are just like I remember when people first told me about the game the first thing's like best part about that game

She can kill you and you're like I thought that it was about the missions and all the fun stuff you could do I do not remember what was good about that game I definitely know that I've matured because I I finished the entire story of GTA 5 Before I never was able to get like four feet without being up. I just shoot that guy To follow one linear storyline Which is remarkable, but I never I never actually I don't even know where the sex cows are there in that game I've never found one. I don't know one. We'll get there. Well, I'll show you Oh, yeah, we also have a Mayo fight. Do you remember the Mayo fight updated?

You see we had a who knows the lawyer that's involved in the Mayo fight Do you remember we had last week about the guy put Mayo? He said that he put the Mayo in his food. He didn't he said he put the Mayo on his jacket But then he said definitely it was washable. There was a washable jacket that he had gotten from Target What the fuck yeah, man. Oh Still it's all about Mayo. It's just still all about Mayo. It would have been anything at some point Yes, man was gonna pop off and he was looking to murder somebody and that was the final that was Your some listener emails I have a weird ghost story for you boys

I work in a funeral home So I run into weird situations every day, but this one really takes the top this week I got a call from a woman now She told us that we had cremated her husband a few years ago Now these calls are fairly normal because she could have needed more copies of death certificates or an obituary the etc Oh, okay. Now this woman then asked me if we were sure We cremated him Now I was confused because I'm pretty sure when you put a body in a box and you throw it in a

1600 degree pizza oven that that should have you would have the answer, right? Right, right. So I look at our records and I assured her that yes, her husband was in fact cremated thinking Maybe she suffers from memory loss, you know something scary and then she said Then why does he come into my room every night without pants on? I don't know if this is funny or not I don't know if there's a person making a joke or not, but this is a really funny thing So I was too stunned to speak She then went on to tell me that she that sometimes

His ghost comes into her home and slaps her awake with his flaccid ghost Peanuts and that it scares her now. I had no idea what to tell the woman I don't know. I don't know. I don't know I know if you tell this woman and I told the next time maybe she'd ask him to stop or maybe for the hey You know maybe give me some consent and then she asked me if she should leave some food out for him That maybe he would stop that her dead husband's not a dog And maybe she could leave him a snack on her side table or whatever. I feel like maybe something else is going on

Yeah, maybe here. It could be maybe she's being drugged. Maybe she lives in a nursing home and there's a in one of the Employees is doing something horrible and she's chalking it up to a ghost So she doesn't have to realize the fact that she's in a She's been left kids have gone forever and they're never coming back. Yeah, right I mean or it is possible that her ex-husband or I mean, I'm sorry her deceased husband is coming back to finally do What he always wanted to do or it's a man in a ghost or it's a man in the ghost Yeah, there's all there's a lot of stuff either way. I would do a check-up Yeah, what do you do? Yeah, I don't know. You know, I missed that scene of the exorcist

When I know you don't roll you ever to be like when she's fucking herself with the crucifix is like it's kind of fun. Yeah, I Work out of storage unit for part of my job The building has a front gate and two entrances all of which require a passcode that stops working after 10 p.m I often stay later since I'm already inside and I'm usually the only person in the building but tonight I was working late like usual, but I felt something especially and Settling for some reason so I guy I kept seeing shadowy but distinct human figures in the corner of my eye But my look there was no one there. I shrugged figured I was just exceptionally tired and I kept working sure this is where things get interesting Five night at Freddy's

That's a good one. It's scary The lights work on motion sensors and go dark if you stay in one place too long The lights turned off and as I got up to move. I saw that the the hallways where I had seen figures We're all still on now. I know no one else could have come in since it was after 10 Now I'm sufficiently creeped out when suddenly more lights are turning on like someone was walking Towards me now. I'm scared shitless I look up and I head for the freight elevator only to find I was it was already open as if it was waiting for me Great ghost elevator. Sure. I saw the last figure as I was heading for the automatic doors

Now once I got to my car I took one last look back Yeah, I saw that they hadn't closed like something was watching me from the doorway No, I peeled out through the gate and I saw the doors slowly close Whoa, and so he doesn't fucking know so he's in the heat. He thinks it's shadow children. You know what? I'm thinking Unfortunately, which it does seem to happen Sometimes homeless people will stay and live inside of a storage unit because it's temperature controlled And it's a hole in your only 150 bucks a month sometimes

Well, you say this as if you and I haven't actively spoken about this as a possible plan for residency Of course, because I remember in New York the yes Remember that? What if we just do that like what are we doing? But then you do realize it's um, you know plumbing and a lot of things Yeah, you go to the YMCA what you do is you go to the YMCA you have a membership of the YMCA So right and get your showers and get your bathrooms you can live your life and then you go live at the storage unit That's where you keep where various collected stuff and you do all that kind of shit and during the day You work at a fortune 500 company. You're a podcast comedian like there's so many things that you can do during a time

you and Question what's scarier? I would rather the ghosts and rather be ghosts I would much rather the ghosts because you don't know because you'd have to be a little pretty hard living over there Yeah, absolutely Um, but that's that's my source for this week. We're gonna come back because I got some good shit inside stories LP ot l a gmail.com I've had some people reach out about being a part of what they consider to be Now obviously this is very sensitive for a lot of people But I got some really interesting emails of people saying they have been tested on while working for the US military with various chemicals

And if you are a person that has had anything like this I would love to hear from you and know kind of like what you went through people talking about getting derivatives of scopolamine tested on them a lot of times people saying that they've worked in parts of the US government where It's almost like their specific boss is interested in this material And they are kind of subjected to it without the knowledge of maybe the rest of the extended armed forces So it's like I want to know whether or not you've experienced these things. Obviously people are gonna send we might get some cranks in there We make Mike gets people saying whatever, you know, Mike has some jokes up in there But I find it very interesting to see what they subject our boys and girls to overseas

Absolutely, it's we got to treat people a little bit better. That's what I'd say and take care of our military Members when they come home Especially yes because they get no aftercare and it's honestly if we're gonna treat them like robots They should just all be robots. Don't make people in the robots. There's no point. We saw that they do have that unmanned Helicopters now 65. Oh, yes, I'm automated now. Yes war without any possibility of Casualty who knows what that'll lead to but anyway, then finally war can really be talked about how it's just to support the stock market Great, I can't wait. Yeah fun. We could really just really just make it be a video game Oh, yeah war of others of them. So just real like live your life

Knowing that if you're good at video games, you could be a general one day if you want to you are being recruited Be careful also drone war that dirty war that great doc back in the day. Anyway. Oh, yes Love the fact that everybody said. Oh, you could barely move your feet because you've mountain dude yourself to the chair Well, guess what? I'm in World War three, baby And I'm getting a purple star because I fell down in my home on the way to my working station When I was trying to do my my robot soldier shift at 4 a.m. And that's how you can get it You can get you get a purple heart from home type when that diabetes is gonna be a nude purple heart Oh, but then you know what you want to you won't laugh sitting around with your boys like Tennessee, Michigan Jake

He's from Brooklyn. You know, I mean those funny things all those funny bits We can go there like smoking weed out of a fucking shotgun barrel Listen to Jimi Hendrix. I know it goes on a war out there. Oh, you guys all Making love to each other and listening to CCR. I know what's going on Well, you know, unfortunately the people in Vietnam didn't get to enjoy much of the music Hmm. All right, everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening We hope you're doing well out there and we're super excited the 21st of this very month Yes, you're gonna be on a serious radio. We want to say that wait

Thank you guys so fucking much join fashion talk by 5 p.m. PST We don't know exactly what how it's gonna roll out from there. We're now this is a big experiment Henry It's seamless I will say for those of you looking for new video content. You will be getting new video content It's looking like now they might do they might call me wrong after this, but we just got approval We might be doing video episodes of side stories for our patreon Yes, you might get to see some of just just some of the off the cuff Just being a fly on the wall. Just you should be right there. It's like you're right there

With us and we're really excited. I don't know when that's gonna start obviously very soon We got to introduce smello vision. Yeah, you can really smell my drag car noir But then also z2 check out last comic book on the left pre-order that and it's coming out sometime the next couple months Um and so plumber, but you know and get all that kind of shit and taste stay tuned for MK ultra part 3 Absolutely. All right, everyone. Thanks so much for all your support hang in there. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan magustin Lations everybody Hi, oh my hi. Oh my boy get that grenade out of your ass. Oh, I thought I was just sitting on an orange This show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors You can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to go to last podcast network.com