Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: KB

Episode Date: January 24, 2019

We talk a bit about our good friend Kevin Barnett. And we do a couple news stories too.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Wow, it is, it is just, what a great mood to be in. Today's episode of Side Stories. This is the first time we're recording after hearing the devastating news of the passing of our good friend Kevin Barnett. So it's going to be a little bit difficult and so bear with us. I know that you all loved him as well. Of course, if you're a fan of the Round Table of Gentlemen, you are aware of how witty and incredibly charming and just hilarious and what a great person he was. If you knew anything about his career, you know this dude was just on a rocket ship destined to be a very powerful person in show business. He worked really hard. He was genuine. He was the funniest dude in any room and he had hit his whole life ahead of him.

Well anyway, this is Side Stories. I'm Ben Kissel. That's Henry Zabrowski. Side stories. But despite the fact that he co-created the hit show, Rel and Friends of the People, just was selling scripts left and right in Hollywood. He still had time to show up and do hold a McNally's stream. He never changed. He was always there whenever we would get together as much as we possibly could and he never changed. He only got better. Every conversation was better. Nothing touched him. It's just so rare. It's just so rare to have someone, as Henry just said, ascend so fast and then just never, like, seriously become a better person.

And he was a great person to start with. He had a... It's amazing. He had roommates still. He used to sit on a fucking beanbag chair playing video games all day and I was like, you are an incredibly successful... Dude, Kevin. You could do anything else and you get on and he's like, this is how I live my life. Simple. No possessions. And I was just like, no possessions. Yeah, he's like, Moby. Mine is the bad head of hair. But yes, of course, yesterday we all got together on our unique coast and that was just the LPN family.

There were groups of people all over the country that were getting together and discussing their relationships with Kevin because that's just how broad his reach was. I'm sure if you saw on social media, just the amount of people commenting and having their own stories and pictures. That was the best part of this whole thing, which is, I mean, there is no best part. There is no good part. The lesson to be learned here is simply just being like, hug your friends, hug your dogs, do all this shit, like, literally spend the time now because the time goes. The time goes. But so many funny ass stories come out talking about Kevin that you're just like, you just forget that like, man, like, it sounds like you're talking about Paul Bunyan. That sounds like you're talking about like some larger than life character. And you're like, no, he did all this shit.

If you go back and listen to, I remember someone brought up the story and I actually, I don't know how I forgot about this because it's such a big part of Roundtable for so long. Do you remember when Kevin used to say, I can't get drunk on beer? Oh yeah, of course. And he was just like sober as a cat. Yeah, that was proven wrong. And I think in episode eight or something. Episode four because Jackie went and listened to it. And because it was him trying to drink as many course tall boys as he could.

Tall boys, yeah. And he kept saying like, I ain't drunk. Meanwhile, if you, I don't even know if we should even recommend going and listening to that episode. No, I think we were all heavily intoxicated. But that was a part of when you listen to all that kind of stuff. It's hard to not like hear how young and dumb we were and how nothing touched us. There was a video that got sent around from a show that used to be a part of When We Were Caved Comedy Radio, a show called Hard Lonely and Vicious, I believe, was done by Peggy O'Leary and she posted this video of them just in the creek. It was just this comedy video and you just look, everyone's face is just so young.

Right, right. And everybody is just so, we were just joking how you look at the video and you're like, they don't, we don't have stress lines yet. Right. They don't have that face that happens over time. It was just like, just fresh, just like everyone had fucking day jobs and was just joking around. And I'm not saying it was better, but it was something about the youthfulness of it and that brings it all the way back. Well, you know, it was interesting because of course all of our friendships sort of sort of blossoming, blossoming, blossoming 10 years. It's been about 10 years now.

And so we still had a desire for small talk and we still wanted to get to know people. And once you met Kevin, you're like, well, he's going to be a friend for life just because of how engaging he was with conversation. And we also, in honor of him yesterday, we sat through about eight episodes of Naruto. The anime. So I think that Kevin would have liked that practical joke. No idea why he was so into Naruto, but that's just the kind of guy he was. Looking like a stern grandfather at Naruto being like, this is why we lost the war. Well, it's just bizarre because, you know, he would always, he had so many different sides.

So you could talk politics, you could talk sports, or you could talk like the nerdiest, weirdest, most outside their stuff. I know Naruto isn't that crazy, but he just knew like he could have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle reference like right off the tip of his head. And then he also, as a kid, don't forget, if you listen to Roundtable, you'll know, subscribe to Horse Illustrated because he loved horses. And so he was this kid in rural Florida, you know, who just loved horses and the wildlife. And front flips when he was doing those for a while. And you could also just do front flips. We used to do a show called KBBK Comedy Deathmatch. Oh yeah, that's right, he forgot about that.

Do you remember it was at the DJ Academy? Yeah. We did it at this DJ Academy in New York where it was just banks of DJ booths like around a corner. And it was like, this is the saddest shit in the world because it's just dudes like me on the class pictures. I really know how to scratch them, y'all. It was Scratch DJ Academy. We had Jeff Ross and Reggie Watts were on our first show. Both of them could not have been nicer.

Reggie Watts watched the entire show. And if you're not in comedy, you don't quite understand how extremely rare that is for a performer to watch other performers that he is better than. But KBB and I used to always do a physical challenge towards the end there. And he would always win naturally. And it was just one of the greatest experiences of my life because you could say anything. Kevin was the greatest safety net when it comes to being on stage. Because you could say anything and he would roll with it. And even if you did look like a villain at the end of it, it was still just incredible.

Yes, yes. Very talented. And that was also the, that was when I first tried Liquid THC. Reggie Watts gave us all his supply of Liquid THC. And we're like, that's why he stayed and watched because his feet were two concrete blocks. Yeah, absolutely. But this is just, I mean, talk about the worst sort of left field news that ever happens. This kind of thing again just shows kind of how tenuous our connection is to reality.

I don't know if we'll see Kevin again. I don't know about that, how it's supposed to go down, but it's him not being there is really sad. And a part of this, I think about our lives now where it's nice how we've kind of weaponized our friendships towards our own. We figured out going on tour, as much as we love seeing the fans. And we like doing live shows because it's so much fun. But it also gives us the opportunity to be like, tell our significant others being like, I've got to go get drunk with my friends in another city. It's my job. It's a job.

Somebody's got to do it. Someone's got to do it. And I miss having, it was like those built in hours. And you think about how like, what we have now is Kevin's entire presence is embedded in the hundreds of hours we have of him speaking, which is really nice. It's like that thing where it's like, you realize over these years of talking an around table together with somebody, you've now known someone for thousands of hours. You are now, you have become family through being horrible monsters. Yeah. I mean, that is, you know, it is really, that is true.

It's great if you can wrap your friend, if you can monetize friendships, I guess. No, it just doesn't have the excuse. Exactly to hang out. I mean, we really did, we were just having, it was like, I would call it a boys club, but it's like an extra boys club because Jackie was involved because of course when it comes to Jackie and Kevin and she'll talk about Kevin on page seven, their relationship on round table specifically was so fricking funny. Yes. It was like, incredible. Because again, Jackie would just say like horrible, like shit, horrible shit. Kevin, the way that he would play with it was so, I mean, he never had a judgmental bone in his body.

I remember we were out one night and it took some, I had a couple of BLs and I was screaming at someone and it's not a big surprise. What happened? I took some Molly on it. The guy gave me a bag of it and I was like, and I was like, how much should I do? And he's like, do the whole thing. And I was like, all right, I went to the bathroom and I came back. He's like, where's the bag? I was like, I did the whole thing.

And he's like, hey, do you understand sarcasm? And then that night spiraled into, first of all, having to go to the bathroom immediately. I can't imagine what you did to yourself. And then Kevin took me to this bar that was like, cause he would go to this place called Tender Trap, which is like a super cool place. Oh yeah, that's right. Is Tender Trap still open? I'm not sure, but he loved that place. And so I'm sitting there and I just remember screaming.

And then at the end of the night, Kevin and I were in the car home and I don't really remember much. And I woke up the next day and I was like, Kevin, man, I feel kind of bad that I do anything wrong. He's like, oh no, man, you angered some people, but I thought it was pretty funny. And then the weirdest thing was we were like two blocks away from your house in the car. And then you just got out and started sprinting. So I don't know. And I was like, okay. And that was it.

Like, you know, he was just the most, he was just the most down dude. And he never, you never had to worry about if Kevin was going to be mad at you or if he was going to hate you the next day. Cause he just never did, you know, But that's what made him the ultimate comic before you. He was like so good at looking at stuff in a perfunctory way. Like in a plain way that also just comes out of fucking xenon comes out of left field. He's got, he is such a weird ass sense of humor. And it was, he was always just spot on and watching also someone genuinely love to bomb in a way that was what made him successful.

Like if you can figure out how to make the thing that is the worst thing that can happen to a performer, like literally the word and flip it in your own crude way of like, I like this. And this is actually what I'm going for. Then you're always successful. And there was no one more fun because, you know, I'm a big fan of wrestling. And so I learned getting booed is extremely empowering. If you are in control of like, I understand why you're booing me and I did this on purpose. We used to do, we did a roast together and I wore a make America great again hat. I did this whole character of like being a fucking psychopath and Kevin and I were just both just saying just it was brutal.

And the booze that we got and we walked off stage and we just laughed our asses off and it's so much fun. How many times did he cast this as KKK members? That's all he cast you guys. I got cast as a cop in Friends of the People and you guys were all Klansmen. Klansmen. And him just getting to say, and then I recently also just did, I mean, I don't know even legally how much I could talk about it, but I did his pilot for Comedy Central, right? I was one of the cast, like one of the, in his show. And the stuff that he would feed me to say, and you're just being like, you just want me on camera saying this shit.

That's what this is about. This is like a psychological game that you want me to say. Fucking wicked shit. Like, we were doing this scene and he was just like, yeah, and this scene, yeah, it's call me on, it's like, workman dingo in there. And I was just like, I could just stop. I was like, I don't know if I can just say this. No, it was, and you know, the fact is, and we're going to talk about this on all the other shows as well. And hopefully, the, you know, a lot of people have been requesting a round table reunion and I know that's just a small part of his life. And obviously, it's just, you know, the round table will no longer be the same, but we're all going to get together will no longer be.

Well, I mean, to be honest, to be completely frank, we were planning it. All of this is like, it was supposed to happen. It was going to be a big reveal. We were really excited for it. But we were going to figure out how to quit and to have things fall apart as the exact opposite of how things should go down. Like, we got it. It's about grouping together and working hard and continuing to put out content because that's all that motherfucker ever did. Kevin was the hardest worker out of all of us, which is the sleeper thing about Kevin is how fucking hard he worked. Kevin works all the time. Kevin worked 13 hours a day and you think, oh, it must be so fun. The entertainment industry must be a blast. It is a lot of, it's a desk job combined with like every other possible duty that you have to do.

You're in charge of an entire show. You also don't get the comforts of a desk job, which means like the job lasts for a long time and you can be there and you can plan shit. So it has all of the tenuous dumb shit about show business and it's also, you have to get there at 9 a.m. Yeah, absolutely. So, you know, it's just a testament to who he was. I'm just looking over now. He's, you know, CNN, obviously People Magazine, HuffPost. I will tell you this week. He made it to BBC, BBC News. I mean, this is just a guy who came up, you know, again, FSU, like all my boys over there in Florida. And he just worked so hard and he deserved better.

And he deserved a better, he deserved, he deserved to be able to have his, to be able to celebrate the fruits of his labor. And it's just so sad that he was cut off so short that he couldn't really benefit from all the hard work that Henry mentioned, you know, with all that hard work. And he finally was going to be able to start maybe this year getting back on stage and doing a couple of other things he wanted to do. And it's just, you never know, 32 years old. I'll tell you what though, he had a great friend. I will say about him. He definitely had a good time. Watching him live his life is kind of an inspiration about letting go and having fun and experiencing things and meeting people. He was always in the middle of it. He was always like out there like doing something crazy, like just kind of season life as hard as he could.

And it was, it was always nice to see. And he always being like, man, I gotta like do more every time I hung out with him and talk with him. Absolutely. And of course, he was always a great, he was a very nice, he was a good, he was a good, yeah. And he was just funny when, when Henry would say something like Hale Satan, he'd be like, no man, like you talk about God. And he would never, he never said that at the end of any shows. He would never say anything of, he always, he was a spiritual guy in his own right too. And I know that was because of his mother, Claudette Barnatt. And if you get a chance to listen to those old episodes, his stories about his mother and the, they're just heartbreaks for the family. And it cannot even imagine how much, how much pain they're going through right now. So go back and listen to the round table of gentlemen.

Talk about a trip though, seeing round table of gentlemen on CNN. Oh, that's hilarious. Oh my God, that's so funny. I don't even know if you should be bumping this, this fucking hard. So funny. Well, maybe CNN can solve poop gate. Well, we already, I think that we could solve about it. And honestly, they have the whole 24 hour news cycle. Yeah. They got a lot of hours to devote to it.

There's no, there's no other news happening right now. No, nothing that matters. Nothing that matters. So what are we supposed to do now? Like, I think everyone's going to be talking about Kev for a while. Yeah, absolutely. We wanted to just take this moment and talk a little bit about him and what he meant to us, because, I mean, I really don't know what else to talk about. We are, we want to perform for the people.

So now, I guess, do you want to just get to what happens when a man who is too large to shit in a Chinese airplane bathroom, and he sort of makes, takes the entire crew hostage? Yeah, I think that Kevin would actually love this story. So let's do it. Live from your grave. All right. So the title of this article on one mile at a time. To our understanding, this is the legit article. And even if it's not congratulations because it made us laugh. EVA air passenger demanded crew wipe his butt and a lot more.

This is, it's already so hard to be an airline stewardess in many ways. You, you are just, you're trapped with your customers 10,000 feet in the air. Just imagine a man demanding his butt be wiped like he's Eddie Murphy from coming to America. This is the information that was gleaned by this writer. They, a lot of this comes from it's, it's, it's news in Chinese. So no one really know, like, I don't know what it is. And then all three of it says that like this is kind of like what it seems to boil down to. Okay.

Two hours and 30 minutes into a flight. The flight was going from Seattle to Taipei and connecting in Bangkok. Okay. Two hours and 30 minutes into the flight. The passenger said that he needed to use the business class bathroom. He said he couldn't fit into the economy bathroom. You understand. I totally understand this.

The economy bathroom is, is, it is a, it's comically small and it is pure torture. What I was, if you ever get a chance to be six foot seven, 300 pounds trying to squeeze in there, it is, you got to sit to pay. That's all I'm going to say. So you got to say. And the man was 200 kilograms, which is two. And if you do the math, he was 440 pounds. Woo.

All right. Right? Definitely using the extended seat belt. I think that they needed an extended seat. He was a very big man and it's a Chinese flight. The crew accommodated him and three flight attendants as well as the purser assisted him to the bathroom. A minute after entering the lavatory, the passenger pushed the call button. When the flight attendant opened the door, his generals were exposed,

but his underwear was still on them on the back. He told them he needed to help take off his underwear or he would just go in there. He sat down and he spread his legs exposing his generals. They tried to close the door, but he objected claiming he was having shortness of breath from claustrophobia. They needed to keep it open. The crew refused, but he kept the door unlocked. 50 minutes later, he said he was done. They opened the door to find him still sitting there with his pants at his ankles saying the sentence,

I'm done. You can wipe my butt now. The flight attendant objected. 15 minutes by air bathroom, that is like an hour and a half in the bathroom. It's quick. You've got to get in and get out. Because you know the line's built up. Oh yeah.

The flight attendant objected, right? Then he berated her saying she promised to do it and since she promised she needed to do it, or you would just sit on the toilet for the rest of the flight. Now I don't think Pinky swears necessarily work in this scenario. And I feel like you have to do the Pinky move thing. The crew obliged, realized they couldn't just leave them there the whole flight. So they threw a blanket in front of him, which he refused. The purser wiped while the other flight attendants held his front.

While the purser wiped, he allegedly says, mmm, deeper, deeper. This is, this man. I don't know if he is some kind of like airplane royalty, but he is acting a lot. Like he's like Queen Carlotta from Mortville going back to what John Waters referenced. He is like really acting like the king here. What's his name? DJ Khaled? Yeah.

That's what it seems like. It seems like a hit. What's his name, right? Mmm, deeper, deeper. You know it's not a good day when you're on a flight and you're having to be a nurse for this man. And then you hear the words, mmm, deeper, deeper. Deeper. Deeper.

So eventually. The purser ended up having to wipe on three separate occasions as the guy claims she didn't do it correctly. He said, you better have wiped me clean. Why am I doing this for you? I don't know because I would just, I would have drowned him at this point. I'd be like, I don't know what happened. He drowned in there. Out of order bathroom.

Shut the door and let's see if he can get out. Eventually the flight attendant just pulled his pants up and even though he assisted, they do it again. He threatened to faint if she didn't. The passenger was brought back to a seat, but later in the flight, he had to go again. No. So a different group of flight attendants did the same exact thing. So this is some guy's history, I guess, with this EVA air flight. He also flew from LA to Bangkok via Taipei in May 2018, where he made a similar request, but flight attendants refused.

So he went number two in his seat and apparently the whole cabin smelled terrible for the rest of the flight, which I don't understand. All right. So this dude, this is not the first, nor does it sound like the last time he's going to pull off this, I guess, stunt. At some point you just got to say no more flying, right? I don't know because he also pissed his pants on another flight. And in another flight, he asked the crew member to clean and change his diaper. And so he refused. So he shat and pissed into his diaper until it overflowed into his pants.

This man's a fucking terrorist. He sounds like nothing but trouble. He sounds like Bobo. He doesn't. This is unreal. He is a poop terrorist. On another flight, he threatened to faint and make the crew's life worse if they didn't help him. On another flight, he spilled juice in his crotch area and demanded the crew wipe it up.

They gave him napkins to do it. But he said, you can do better. He is also like so demeaning. He doesn't like nothing is ever good enough. This man is such a, he's a tyrant. Oh my God. He reminds me of the dude from Confederacy of Dunces. Yes.

He is a total Ignatius. If you haven't read Confederacy of Dunces, please do. So the union, so now people are like, okay, dude, this guy is on flights every time he takes a flight, something happens regarding vehicle matter or your nation. So the union is now demanding the following. The airline to help the flight attendant pursue legal remedies against the passenger. Allow time off for flight attendants involved based on the video. They seem to be really disturbed by all this as they are crying.

Oh my God. This is so gross and sad. They're crying, they're weeping, wiping this 500 pound monster in a bathroom, in an airplane, in his hell on earth. So they're going to blacklist the passenger and improve the procedure for getting passengers blacklisted. Also, they're going to improve wheelchair handling so that something like this doesn't happen again. What a good idea though to fake fate, like a possum. Oh sure. And so they got to just deal with your body.

I got to start, because remember when the guy went limp, what was it in the United flight where the guy just like fell down, they had to lift him up out. It's a really good way to resist people because it's very difficult to pick up a fully limp human body. Oh, absolutely. So apparently this is the article continues here and they're like, well, there might be two sides to the story, but I don't think this really makes it any better. What's the other side? So he said, let's assume he was exposing his genitals because it's only natural to take your underwear off if you're sitting on the toilet.

And let's assume the deeper deeper was an actual statement of wiping preferences, rather than something he found enjoyable or arousing. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It is so much, it's disgusting, no matter what. Can you imagine the idea of the customer service goes so far? Technically it was just a note, deeper deeper. Deeper deeper.

Deeper and deeper, I get it. I mean, because then it gets all the way up there. It's all the way up. The big thing is you've got to get wet wipes. Oh, absolutely. So we don't know what the guy's motives are. I know what his motives are is for having a pretty young flight attendant touch his fucking asshole. I guess so.

Apparently he wants attention from the young, pretty Asian flight attendants, or does he have some sort of butt-wiping fetish? It's clear no matter what. His expectations of the crew are unreasonable. They are unreasonable. They really are. They really, that's the way I would put it. I would say it's almost, oh, what a kooky guy.

What a kooky couple of ideas he has. Unreasonable. That is to say the least. Jesus. It's all like, if he does have a, he probably has some big baby fetish. I don't know. But a flight is not the time to really be like, let's get wild with it. Unless you're flying like kink.air or something like that.

Kink.air. I don't like that concept. You know, like, I don't think that this is the place for you to be enacting all of your sexual fantasies and demanding they go deeper and deeper. Can you imagine that door opening and that man with his dick out, but the underwear is up above his butt, and he's pulling it down, and I'm going, I'm done. You can wipe my butt now.

Oh my God. Like, that confidence. I have never had that kind of confidence in my life. The idea of being like, well, you can wipe my butt now. Like, you just like, great, accidentally. You know, like, it's, oh my God. Well, I mean, he should be traveling with a caretaker. I don't even see how, you know, it's hard.

Those seats are tiny. I don't see how he even got on the plane in the first place. But nonetheless. Nonetheless. Rough, rough day. And I don't feel so bad for asking for another, you know, they cut you off. And you get free Jack Daniels now. And then they say, you know, no more Jack Daniels.

You get about three or four of them. Now I don't feel bad asking for a fifth. You start to sound like the, you start to sound like the alcoholic version of John Panette. Full hour. Oh man. All right. So that's that tale. I feel bad for all the stewardesses who had to deal with that and the stewards.

Never let the man fly again. But I guess a part of what's on a plane, you got a captive fucking audience. That's for sure. And so they can't really go out of there. It's kind of like when on Always Sunny where they talk about like taking a date on a boat because they'll, you know, they'll sleep with you because of the implication. Like all of that kind of shit where it's like, you got nowhere to go. So maybe you think that like, well, this is where I can really test the waters of human interaction.

Because if not, guess what, man? I'm going to joker this whole flight. Oh yeah, you're going to wipe my butt. Because if not, this whole fucking, this whole group of passengers is going to wipe my butt. Absolutely. Or sitting that sit in the odor of his diaper. Also just the sheer joker like ability to just being like, I'll shit my pants. Oh yeah?

Well, I'll just shit my pants. Like he's a skunk. Well, you know, he's full of it at all times. You're 450 pounds. You got a lot of, you got a lot of Duke in there. He's a loaded weapon. I'm 170 pounds and I fucking got a lot of Duke in there. Always ready to rock and roll.

When we were on a flight, I forget where we were going to. Maybe it was the one to Indianapolis. The toilet did not work and a woman went in and she didn't realize it doesn't work or didn't work until she was done. And then it didn't flush and she must have done something bad in there because the entire flight, the stewardess was trying to figure out a way to get the water back in there. But the pressure does come back once you reach 10,000 feet. It just flushes it right down.

Just automatically. But I don't know. The woman, the woman's face, I was like, oh my God, you just dropped like a mad, mad something in there because she was so embarrassed. I know that face. It's a weird sort of like, it's like a lost face because how many times like, I'll go to the bathroom on a plane and like a maybe, you know, larger than average older woman comes out of there and she has like a curt little smile on me and like, yeah.

And then you like go and she kind of looks like she's lost. Like, I don't know how I even got to this bathroom or what happened in there and then you go in there and it was like Don Delewis just took a fucking meatball sub inside the fucking toilet. Just being like, how does that come out? You won't believe it. Yep. You never want to follow anyone over the age of 60 in the bathroom.

They don't care any longer and they just, they eat so much flax and they have their system going on like a next level. It's nasty. Little they know I'm walking in there and I'm batting clean up. You got a little Henry Aaron of the toilet. It's like an sideline up. Hey, all right. Ready to take his moment in the sun.

Ready for the spotlight. That is a second baseball reference. Look at that. Hey man. Not bad. I'm growing. I'm trying to be more of a man. Hank Aaron, Henry Aaron.

All right. Well, let's do one more story here. Yeah. We got to talk about more of these horrible shit. We want to talk about this, this guy. Alexander Barter. Yeah. Let's do this dude.

So this story is truly disgusting. Thankfully, nothing actually, thankfully they got this guy before you could do anything. A Texas man arrested after allegedly plotting to murder and cannibalize an underage girl. If you get a chance, take a look at this man speaking of confused. He looks, he looks like 21 year old Alex Barter. He looks like a David Arquette character. He really, honestly, he really does. 21 year after, after a extreme fighting match or wrestling match, 21 year old Alexander Barter

placed a post on the dark web for someone to let him perform unspeakable crimes on them. But the person who answered was an undercover agent because it's always an undercover agent. Thank God. So 21 year old dude, he's now behind bars for an undercover sting. He was planning to do horrible things and eat a young man's daughter. Barter was arrested after engaging in a series of email conversations with an undercover agent with the Texas Department of Public Safety on the dark web. He was charged with criminal solicitation, criminal attempt to capital murder, conspiracy to commit capital murder,

and criminal attempt at a sexual performance of a child. Barter and the agent first began communicating if the agent posted, answered a post, Barter placed on the dark web for people who would be interested in letting him commit necrophilia and cannibalism on them. I just, you know, is that, I feel like there's more light on the dark web now. I think that you used to be able to get like, just be like, that's a wild little thing like cannibal cop. I don't know if you remember that story. Yes. But now I'm, does the dark web even really exist anymore?

Cause isn't it like the FBI's on this stuff? I hope so. The FBI's on this stuff. The dark web is just simply the encrypted web, right? You have to have, you have to probably have a computer that runs Linux. It's an entirely different browser system. You have a, basically you log in, because imagine the internet, what you see, even Google and all that shit. Everything that's openly public to the internet, it's like 10%.

It's like an iceberg tip, sticking out above the water and underneath it is the rest of the encrypted internet. The internet can go on and on and on forever. It's completely infinite. But the dark web is interesting because it is a series. There are like, they are legit websites. There's also a shit that's just more closer to like the Bolton board system of like 4chan where just people post. I don't know where the hell this guy does. Can you imagine being the FBI officer whose job it is to just answer these emails all day?

Cause part of it is like, you're trying to discern whether or not this is just a protracted fantasy, or if he really has the stuff to do it, or sort of kind of, I mean, in a way, kind of like the way they deal with terrorism. Kind of like encourage it a little bit. Because this guy, the way that they talk about it, so first of all, you're just making a post saying, I'm looking for a kid to murder and then eat. And then you just get an email from somebody who's like, yeah, sure, yeah, I got one. You want to talk about it? So according to this, the undercover agent claimed to be an interested party

and he offered up his daughter for Barter's desires. So gross. In one of the emails, then Barter allegedly responded, nice, I'm in East Texas. How old's your daughter? Can we kill her? It's nice with an exclamation mark, by the way. Nice. Nice. Nice. And then he went on to list horrific things that he wished he could do to the girl before and after he killed her.

And over the course of several days, Barter and the agent constructed a plan to meet up for a hiking trip. And they would take the daughter to a hotel where she would be assaulted, murdered, and eaten. And he's like, I'm not going to change my mind about this, Barter wrote in October 15th. I really want to do this. So after their plan, Barter told the father to buy a burner phone and new clothes to wear after they killed his daughter. Once they killed her, Barter told the agent that he's simply returned home to Bavard County and say that his daughter had run away from home. Uh-huh. But then they just fucking, they got him.

Right, so they fucking went, they saw him, they had a plastic trash bag and a knife. So then they kind of pieced it all together. They sort of like, they built it up a little bit. They tell you, of course, well they need to do things, they need to do things that prove that he's serious. So they got the burner phone, they went through the steps just so they can be like, this dude was seriously going to go over and do this, it was going to happen. So when Barter stopped outside of his house on October 19th to go meet with the father and daughter, law enforcement agents swarmed him in his hands. Barter had a plastic trash bag, as Henry said, a knife. Barter reportedly folded quickly when he was seized by law enforcement and admitted to writing the emails and this man does not need to be out in public.

So congratulations on getting this guy before anything bad happened. It is so scary, it's so chilling to think that it's possible. Tell me, this is a little interesting because most of it just becomes, I don't want to go all the way through it if you think maybe your daughter wouldn't be tasty. Do you maybe feed her a series of foods to make her meat more succulent and flavor? But I will say the one thing is, I'm kind of on the fence about the dark net and all this kind of shit because I do feel like stories like this help it be maligned and obviously there's a lot to talk about child pornography and guns and drugs being purchased in the dark web. But a part of it, I think though, is that dark web is very easily villainized because the dark web could be the last bastion for freedom of speech if all the shit goes down. That is the other thing you remember. Well, I don't think anyone's thinking about shutting it down, I think they're just more trying to catch people who want to eat children.

I think that that's a good thing. I think that's a good thing. I am just saying the dark net, quote unquote, even as the term or dark net or dark web makes it sound really sinister, but mostly it's just this concept of at some point, if there was ever, I mean, we're in the middle of fucking researching Dr. Mengele and Auschwitz was also made this week fucking really fun. But then when you think about the idea of a totalitarian government, like slowly gaining control over the country, and it might be at some point free speech would be severely limited, especially on the trackable internet. And maybe the dark web would be where you go to actually be able to express yourself. Could be. Or you're just talking to all FBI agents. I mean, they are.

All right. Finally, we'll just do a quick story here. This is let's go to Canada. We always like going to Canada. Thanks for all the great responses to our Mark tWitchell episodes. Oh my God. So this is a this is a kind of a lighthearted story. It's such a Canadian carjacking.

It's ridiculous. Gun wielding carjacker offers Al Burton her lunch and phone before apologizing and fleeing crash scene. This was in Springbrook. A woman experienced the most Canadian carjacking of all time. The woman was on her way to work driving near Red Deer Airport. When she came across a collision between a pickup and a school bus, one of the drivers was standing on the road. So the woman stopped to go out and see if he needed any help. At first, the man didn't respond.

She asked again. And that's when he turned further and I saw he had a bandana over his face. The woman said he didn't say anything. He just kind of groaned and started walking toward my vehicle. That is horrifying. At that point, I knew something was definitely not okay. So I asked him, what are you doing? And I started to run back towards my vehicle and he started running.

Then he pulled out a gun. Oh, right. So I just stopped and put my hands up and was like, it's yours. The man then stole the woman's vehicle. But not before asking a couple of questions. He asked if she had any children in the back of the vehicle. She said, no. Then he asked if there was anything I needed like my phone.

And I said, yes, if you're going to leave me in the middle of gravel road, I would appreciate my phone. So he gave me my phone, my purse and my lunch bag before stealing the car. So he gave her those three things. I guess that's nice. That's nice. That's nice. I mean, he was just taking what he needed. That was a bit of an important disease.

He was taking what he needed. That's a part of it that you kind of think about that. Like we did an episode about, we did a story about somebody getting locked inside a donation booth. Remember we were talking about that and they died. And we had a listener also say the illuminating other side of the story is it's really unfortunate that these people go to these links to get free stuff. They come out of need too. So this person goes, it's like he does all this shit. There's obviously a person in some form of trouble.

No. And the thing about a donation bin, it's just rarely, are you going to get the best stuff? Yes. You know, that's everyone knows it's the canned corn and then like the toy that like, I don't know, it's technically a toy. So you buy it and then you throw it in there. When we were doing the drive and we did it for this time too for my friend's place and all the stuff that when we've been working for my friend's place that charitable organization here in Los Angeles. They really specifically search for high quality stuff because they are dressing teenagers. So a part of it is this kind of concept of being like, if we could get good stuff for them to wear so they don't feel embarrassed, it's not always the bit that you used to do millions of years ago about the Buffalo Bills Super Bowl dynasty that the people in Africa realize.

You know what I mean? Like they thought it was real because they got all the throwaway shirts. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, so this person said, so they said, so he said, thank you for returning her things. And then he said, I'm sorry. And I said, that's fine. I guess it's just a reaction because he was stealing my car and it had a gun in my face. So the guy says, I've been such a Canadian carjacking. And apparently this is a string of incidents.

The carjacking was part of a string of incidents. The police have began to investigate a week earlier on January 15th. Two men stole a Ford F3, F 350, broke into a fountain tire in Drum Haller. I have no idea what a fountain tire is. I don't know. Using the truck to ram through a service bay door where they stole another truck. So there is a, there's something there. It's gone in like 19, it's gone in like 98 seconds. Yes. Basically it's Canadian gone in 60 seconds, but they're just a little slower. A little bit more like, well, there's no reason to rush.

Well, we should just kind of, we can ease it out. You don't want to peel out because these are new tires on here and I ain't made a tire money. No. So when it comes to the stealing out of this fountain tire, he said, my assistant saw it on his, saw it all in his cell phone through the video cameras we have on the site. And then this is according to Joanna Hotson's owner and manager of fountain tire. She said, it was a little alarming for sure. So there you go. Indeed a little. Holy mackerel. Holy mackerel. We got gas stolen in Delburn.

A few hours later, the same truck was spotted in a business in Delborn where a man was trying to steal gas. I think we need to send troops into Canada to stabilize them. I think that's, that is the lesson to be taken from. But it's also serious because he drove away in the truck, but before leaving the area, he fired some shots. Everyone is, the man who reported it to us thought there was at least three shots fired. There were no further incidents and there's no suspects yet. So my goodness, I mean, somebody is having a blast and it seems like they're probably going to have to get caught at some point. I think at some point they're going to end up, it's going to catch up to them, all this fun that they're having.

Yes, absolutely. Oh man. Anyway, so there's just a couple of disgusting stories. It's nice to share them. I guess so. You can wipe me now. Oh, deeper, deeper. So disgusting.

All right, everyone. Well, you know, it's a sad week here at LPN and for everyone that is part of the LPN family. So thank you all so much for listening and even if we have differences sometimes, it's all good. You know, we're just going on this little ride together. So life is short. Life is short. None of this stuff really matters at the end of the day and we just have to be nice to each other. We got to connect to our friends. We got to connect to our friends.

We got to let people know that you care about them. You always say, like, you know how many people I have in my own life? I mean, like, I got to like make sure I tell him, like, or her, like, you know, like, fucking, I love you. Like, I miss you. It's never too late to reach out. Right. So make sure you do that with the friends in your life. And of course, be nice to each other on the social media stuff and just try to, if you get a chance to maybe get some of your favorite KB clips, feel free to put them on social media and stuff like that. Well, I know that Ed Larson posted to the Roundtable Gentlemen Facebook page,

a bunch of Kevin's favorite quotes that are going up there that have people been submitting, which is really nice. And I think we're going to do a little special for him coming out soon too. And we're just going to be keeping him in our thoughts and keeping him alive forever because that's, I mean, he doesn't go anywhere because I remember him. That's right. All right, everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening and seriously hail yourselves. Laugh if you can when you got them. Laugh them if you got them. Laugh them if you got them. And, you know, live them as if you won't be. Absolutely. Absolutely. That is intense. That is intense. I am hungover. All right, let's just click.

We were pretty hungover. Absolutely. No, and it's funny because we were all hanging out for about 10 hours, you know, and you start to go through all the processes of mourning. And at some point you just start thinking of friends you wish it was as opposed to Kevin. And then you're just going to be like, who should it have been? Who's expendable? And then the conversation is just like, this got really dark. But yes. That's a perfect example. That person could go.

Hail Satan. All right, everyone. Hail yourselves. Take care of yourselves. We love you. We'll talk to you soon. We'll see you all very soon. Hail me.