Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Kuklinski VS Panzram

Episode Date: August 23, 2018

Marcus joins Side Stories to settle the score: Who would win in a fight between Richard Kuklinski and Carl Panzram? Also: If you're not laughing and loving, are you really living?

There's no place to escape to this is the last time on the left Hey, what's up everyone, how are you ban kissle here Henry Zabrowski is over there Beautiful man drum. All right. I am so sick of wearing clothes. I know this forming We've recorded a couple of times today. No shirt Henry Zabrowski Yeah, man, because it's I'm get slick and I like to feel the weird little Kisses of sweat. Is it weird to say that because I get like yeah, you have this also first of all we have one of yeah Yeah, we have Marcus parks with us. Hello Oh

Now we're both of you a pretty good Marcus Marcus don't be so thrilled to be here outside stories He joined us, but listen Do you not have this alright? I have a thing that when I'm working out or something or like I'm especially now that I'm doing planks Mm-hmm. Hold your applause the anti-workout workout. I I get like one singular bead of sweat from the back of my armpit Mm-hmm that comes all the way down. Do you get that do you get one bead? I think I have multiple beads a lot of pores. It might be a problem Marcus no, I don't sweat very much. Marcus is not a sweater

You wear several shirts. How do you even know if you're a sweater? I would feel it I would feel wet on my back. You don't have like pit stains. You don't have any of that Is this why you guys like like ask me four times to come on side stories this week is to talk about your back sweat Well, I had specific things first of all before we start with stories. Okay, number one Moment of vulnerability. Oh start with these now kiss. Oh last week admitted to a feel of fail fear of failure Sure, I said I work too hard Personally I care too much, okay I was the only one that answered that question honestly, so I guess I'll be paying for that for the rest of my life

Okay, and the second thing is that there was a couple things I wanted to talk about Kuklinski because we didn't get to talk about it a while We were recording episode and there were a couple of questions I had okay number one is and there was there were broach to me by the audience and I figured that I mean we should Let's give them what they want because they want to talk about it Sure straight up the biggest issue that seemed to come out of Richard Kuklinski besides whether or not did he not kill anybody? Which is like we have already stated our beliefs. Well, he definitely killed a lot of people believe that he probably killed like 50 people Do some people think he didn't kill anyone? Yes. Yeah

Five people he went to jail for killing. Oh, okay. Well, that doesn't make much sense. He's a hit man Yeah, it's in the it's in the whole job description. You got to kill But there are some people who said that all that was fake But I think he knew too much about the ins and outs and like the nuts and bolts of being a hit man in order to not Be telling the truth about some things There's also the fact that his descriptions of the cold cases that they went and cleared out after he did his interviews like it he matched down to the caliber of weapon he used because he remembered like yeah I used a 38 on this guy used a different Cal 22 on this guy and

The cops that went and checked it out like yeah, he did he named the location the time and the caliber of weapon used on These people Kuklinski the mind. He's got a lock box for a brain Yeah, just goes in does not come out to say to say that this guy like you know that he was not a hit man I think it's all this like weird mob Apologist thing that doesn't make any sense to me. Let's think about this in the shower today. Whoa That's where a lot of people do their best thinking that's right Yeah, yeah, no, I was thinking about like the mob apologist thing and how like people make heroes out of these guys

It's like organized crime is responsible for more misery Amongst the human population than every fucking serial killer put together occasionally you get a free pair of sneakers on Christmas When they boosted that whole truckload of the tickle me almost and gave it to the entire Straight out of Billy Matt is like who would steal 500 tickle me almost and just cut to the mobsters just laughing and tickling Elmo Oh, yeah, I mean, how do you I mean? How do you think the opioid crisis exists in America? It would not exist without organized crime, you know human trafficking does not exist without organized crime all of this shit It's not even just apologies. It's also the other side where people forget that they are actually very capable and dangerous Yes, they because again, I think and we talked about on the show

They've been marginalized on television as like funny fat goofballs, but it actually at one point. They were very dangerous But all of this aside straight up who would win in a fight Richard Kuklinski or Carl pans Ram pans They were against each other. I see Immediately pans Ram. Well, yeah, Kuklinski was more of a he was a he fired a lot of guns. He was an assassin Oh torch. Yeah, he was a he was an assassin We're talking one-on-one like bull ring These two dudes are just sent out there and they have to like grapple Can we do Roman Coliseum style where you can throw a couple of weapons into the ring though?

I think that it's more Staten Island Coliseum style where it's a gigantic. It's spaghetti It's a pile of spaghetti. They have to see how they got they have to stay on Balance in a big pile of spaghetti Well, that's just sort of yelling and throw in New Jersey Nets like stuff like memorabilia. Yeah the devils Yes, maybe some Vince Carter jerseys or something Um, so that's kind of like a mud rest like an Italian mud wrestling. Yeah, I'm spaghetti. Yeah, I don't necessarily want to see them All lathered up in marinara sauce attempting to rattle each other, but that's all right Are you well then you'd need to take your producer hat off?

Because you are not being a correct producer. That's exactly what they need to be need to be covered slathered in sauce So they can't tell what's blood in what sauce. Oh, that's a good for me in the end is like again Want to give people a good show? It's Kuklinski right after getting right when he's decided to go back into contract killing, right? That's probably him at his physical peak in terms of Him he's still young and spry, you know, he hadn't gotten gnocchi ankles yet Which eventually settles in like he doesn't get that hot live and high on the hog like week of joint Carl pans ram right after getting out of prison after the first time When he escaped when he was once he was doing can when he was done carrying the baby. Yeah

Hmm. Well, I don't know if you want to go for toughest pans Ram I would say Africa pans Ram is toughest pans Ram who like that pans Ram is tough ass pants Yeah, that is tough super tough pans Ram Super sharp. Yeah, and possibly if you want to talk about like if you want to talk about Kuklinski's toughest time We didn't talk about this on the episode, but there was a period of time where Kuklinski Had kind of a rule where he would only beat guys to death in his He would like he said he beat 50 There was 12 or 15 men to death like he'd take him back to his

Garage the one that was that he got after him and Robert Prange became friends Okay, he took them back to the garage and he would start, you know, of course He would tie him up and then he'd just beat him to death with either his fists or with big iron rods And sometimes he said that he had this big 15-inch screw driver And he'd take it and he'd stab the guys in the spine and shatter their spine and essentially Paralyze them so he wouldn't have to fucking tie him up anymore where they couldn't move at all It's an unfair fight and then he would beat them to death. Wow Well, I guess you got so bored with killing he had to be creative with it. Well, he said it's not a good sign

Or did he say it's like guess I was just taking out all my anger on the world. I guess I don't know You know what? It's like this kiss. Well, maybe you wouldn't understand because you're not much of a home cook But sometimes I don't want to buy pesto Sometimes like I want it because I like my pesto a little bit like Stankier like I always double the garlic and I double the nut Yeah, oh my because you want it you got pinoling nuts and some fresh basil if you can get it Because then it goes bad in a second With Kuklinski jamming a screwdriver in someone's spinal cord sometimes you want to

Do you want to be the change you want to see in the world? You put in come out I see put in shit you get shit sometimes you really just want to wail on a guy and see what he does Yeah, he said he had a power washer in there to wash off all of the walls and the ceilings Yikes whoof Oh, right. Well, that's the main reason why I even wanted to have you on the episode so we could talk about it Because it's fun to rehab. It's going into the world of imagination Because I know like death matches and around anymore and there's a lot of you know It's like one of those things where it's kind of fun to spill it out

And we know just enough that I think that we could tell the story a little bit And I do think that Carl Panzerheim would sit on fucking Kuklinski's chest and bash his head into the ground until it was just a bunch of Fucking just no, I don't know. No, I have no idea. Well Kuklinski's thing is that he was his Entire philosophy when it came to fighting was hit first and hit fat like hip first hit fast hit hard Oh, all right. Yeah, but if these two guys are squaring up in a ring like pans Are you like Kuklinski doesn't have that element of surprise? He's a very large man. Yes, and he's very strong Well, yes, and he does move like a cat. Yes, but I don't know if that ever I don't know if that makes him a good brawler like pans Ram

Oh, I think pans Ram would be good in any situation Well now honestly though with the Looney Tunes tactics with the Bugs Bunny moves Kuklinski in a dress pans Ram star You know perhaps pans Ram is is won over by the beautiful Kuklinski see now. You're thinking like a producer Do is Kuklinski gets to choose the place where they fight he gets to choose It's his home ground. So basically it's pans Ram is the away team at Kuklinski's house But I still think pans Ram makes it and most of just cuz he's got that lovers grip And it's a thing that that Kuklinski doesn't understand is that he can get once he gets Kuklinski by the hips. Oh

I don't know. I heard Kuklinski had quite a strong grip himself And then again, he's throwing down all those as we joked about those those dark circles to make it look like you can go Through the wall and stuff and what if it worked then he's teleporting like what's the sub-zero or something? Yeah, Raiden and Kung Lao we're also able to use teleportation He's solely in he's solely in our show Okay, let's bring this down to classes. Okay, like let's think about like a okay pandram warrior class sure He's he's a balanced warrior because I would call him close to Maybe a mage, but not a healing mage

He's more of a pyromancer No, he's not a distance header. He's a brawler. I guess he's a bruiser. Yeah, I guess it is bruiser versus bruiser Well, I think he's a war. I mean well for me. There's all there's two different types There's like there's the war there's the balanced warrior and then there's a tank the tank Oh, like and that's it and that's what if you think about like a borderlands to like there's like okay neither one of you play I played it I get lost Yeah, I got lost in it. So I don't know what to do

Well like pans Ram is like the balanced soldier character And Kuklinski is the the gigantic guy that is able to wield two guns at one time It could go either way it could go either way they have different skill sets, but Pans Ram is balanced. So if you get Kuklinski in the right environment or give him the right weapons Then he might be able to take pans Ram down But I think pans Ram has the balance skill set in order to take down I would say anybody in the serial killing world around Ram is easily I think for me it would be a good fight between Kuklinski and pans Ram, but pans Ram takes it

And he comes up. He's bloodied. He's definitely buddy. I'm gonna put this I'm gonna put this in the simulation machine I'm gonna run it 100 times. Oh, okay? What's the conclusion? They fell in love They ended up actually falling in love. I do think pans Ram would get I mean pans Ram would have a probably a little bit of Like a crush on Kuklinski. Yeah, he's fun and because they both hate the world the same I think they would be friends in a strange in a strange way But I think pans Ram is less friendly than Kuklinski I think I think panzer and we'll say cook Clissey's cook. Let's key. You're always joking around Clissey and he should have been a stand-up comedian. Yeah, the nice the nice man. Yeah, what is that? Yeah, they're quite

We didn't say and that there was from the book is that Carlos talking to him in town It's like wow like Panzer. I'm like you're a really funny guy and Panzer and said like yeah, and go out on stage and say I got a thousand jokes that'll kill you and if they don't I will And then what he wanted to be called the nice man. Yeah, well that was that was after he got put on Medication I've ever got And that's just like I'd rather be known as the nice man Man, what a really good ad for Paxil

All of these people's lives if he was on that and there were just everyday life Maybe it would have been good for I mean really like we did three like three long episodes But there were still so many like Keklinski moments that I love that I wish we could have found a way to put in there like one of Them from the he was taught. It was from the ice man of the psychiatrist documentary. I think yeah, it was where Him and the site and Keklinski the psychiatrist are talking and Keklinski's telling the story about how he murdered a guy and you know He murdered in the wrong way and he got all this blood all over got all these blood all over all his clothes He had to like drive home like why is that yeah, and I had to drive home naked. I was wearing a pet sheet

Can you believe that? And then like a click like his face drops. He's like We're having too much fun right now Yeah, oh, I'm wrong. Yeah, well, he's like what we're having too much fun He's like yeah people are gonna Watch this and they're gonna think that you know, I'm a nice guy that whole thing where he's like you can think of a nice Oh, he was worried that he was gonna come across his to Charmy. He was he was completely concerned He's like yeah, they can think I'm a nice guy, but you know, but that's the thing is when people get to know me

Yeah, they tend to hit a stop. Yeah. Yeah, you're Richard Kulinski a dead stop. Oh my god. I can't That's the worst crime. He's committed so far crime of killing comedy Wow, there was it. Yeah, there's so many and they're like we never got to cover the tranquilizer gun Was it he had a period of time where he learned it from watching nature documentaries and cartoons again Well, kingdom. Yeah, and he started getting tranquilizer darts And he would use a blow gun and he did it one time where he hit a guy with a blow gun and the guy's like Like that will ferrule movie and then he goes over and he just shoots him in the head Well, that's doing blow darts. That was how he impressed

Prongay because the first time because they actually had like a couple of dates Yeah, they had a date where like the prongay showed him like and prongay showed him's like yeah this is how you kill a guy with a grenade and Kulinski was like not bet not bet This is how I do it and then he got the tranquilizer gun and probably it's like you gotta be kidding me This is so because they were just constantly like dude. That is so cool Like it really is like Henry made the joke is that like do we just become best friends like Like that's pretty much like it really is it reminded me of like when you know

You're like 14 or 15 and like you make a friend that has the same interest as you for the first time Yeah, blow darts and grenades and you're like, oh my god. This is like like can we just like I don't hang out forever like yeah, dude We should totally If you're 14 years old, that's a very fun conversation to have yeah, yes, absolutely Yeah, him and prongay their their whole friendship was was pretty pretty ridiculous man Well, that's a movie. I would watch and I could I will say in the divisive world. We live in right now It's so nice to two people could come across the aisle Right and work together. Yeah, that's what's really important

That's what we're missing right now is it true understanding of each other and ice cream more ice cream more ice cream Gays ice cream. We also didn't we got it and we didn't talk it thin us out man We got to get thinner no And we also didn't talk about the fact that Chris Evans played Robert prongay in the Iceman the Captain America Played prongay Captain America ice cream salesman. Why does everyone have to be so beautiful? They just what they did they ugly them up by giving him like a long hair wig and he wore aviator sunglasses And they're like, oh, yeah, now that yes, he's supposed to be ugly now That's amazing. But yeah, and you know who was supposed to play Robert prongay James Franco James but then he

Wasn't able he wasn't able to commit to like the full part. So he just got he was in a scene He got murdered by a Keklinski. He was the guy remember that was that story that Keklinski told us that like like he was Uh, asked he was saying like please God, please God. He's like, you know what? I'll make you a deal. You ask God I'll give you 30 minutes and if God comes down and saves you that I won't kill you And he said that was the only murder he regret he's like I shouldn't have done that That was that was kind of that was cruel. I should have done that was kind of cruel Mr. Kuklinski and James Franco played that guy in the movie. I see everyone is too handsome Yeah, I hate it prongay should be ugly Kuklinski should be hideous

It's an incredible character and the idea of having just somebody who's just this like face dude. Yeah, do it makes no sense It's like you had so many opportunities. You were had Michael Shannon Oh, yeah, you fucked it up. Well, someone did DM me on Instagram Kevin Nash of the old professional wrestler looks just like who cleans Holy shit, he could play him if he can play him. I don't know again to to good-looking because like I mean Richard Kuklinski like he had the Polish Piggy look for really long time. No, maybe he's born with it. Maybe Dignitary look that is a distinguished way for a Polish man to be over 60 tall He was very important to the Polish people. He could have been mayor of Warsaw if he showed up No, he had a porky pig head. He had that he had that big bald head the kind of

Polish yeah, buddy. You're talking about the you are you racist My people those are the attributes of my people. We got little we got thick hands. My hands are yeah, they're pretty thick All right, they're thick. No one cares about your weird Polish body Polish pride month is over for last podcast. You know what? I absolutely agree. I think now you're not allowed to do to Have your Polish moment No more Polish moments. I don't have my Polish moment forever. It's actually showed me how dangerous and capable the Polish people are That's a thing we should look up to and consider when we consider the well Continue with the porky pig analogy. That's all folks on Kuklinski. Let's do a news story

All right, thank you unless you're unless there's something that comes to your head that you say Oh, I really wanted to have the audience hear that then feel free to spit it out Now, I don't know if this story really belongs on this show or not, but I thought it was interesting in Paris They just rolled out the sidewalk urinals Evidently, they're called the urethra which is very bizarre. I guess they were having a problem. It's not your a trodder I don't know. Yeah, yeah, you're right there. Oh, that was a good You're little fire, but it's what yeah, it's not the you're a trodder You're that's what it is. It's pronounced. It's pronounced. You're a twa. You're a twa. You're a twa twa

Because it's like abattoir. Yeah, I don't you're a trodder Apparently public urination is a problem in France in Paris specifically. They're drinking the vino They're eating the cheese and I guess they're just going to the bathroom on the streets So they put up all of these things that look like they look like mailboxes And there's just a photo of a dude taking a pee in one and I gotta say very uncomfortable kind of strange I don't think it's gonna solve the problem as a matter of fact. It just gonna legalizes the problem. Uh, you know what? I'm gonna aim for it. I'm down for it public urinals. I'm no absolutely really fix it You know it comes down to whatever sitting you're worried about everybody's feelings about this and they're worried about that

Oh, it shows that men can't control themselves and it's not gonna fix a problem be like, but guess what man? Do I not have to smell your piss anymore? Yeah, great I don't know in mailbox now. I don't you do now. Yeah, I'm not sure if you're like send it and How can't you hold it French? Oh make it a block without pissing your pants You need to just come can go Every single one of us on this show have all dropped out here in New York City and taken a piss on the street Oh my god, we weren't we were driving from Phoenix to, California We saw this one guy on the side of the highway. He was dressed like Lawrence of Arabia for some reason. Yeah, he'd write cuz it was like

What a hundred and a hundred and a hundred fifty degrees So he had to go out and he had a he put on a Lawrence of Arabia headdress to walk out of his car The kids in the car were embarrassed that he's their father. Oh, it's not just men who piss outside either Oh, yeah, Jackie Zabrowski has pissed on my feet before By the way, you're a trotter it combines the words urinal and pavement so it's a pavement urinal and These are all over. I just don't think it's gonna really work out and there's one very near the Notre Dame Cathedral Yeah, there you go. Yeah, dude. Yeah keeps them from pissing on the church. Yeah, but there's places you can go in guess What if Starbucks? I guess what man? I would fucking save my piss for that church

Because that's what you do. I would go I would see the aperture to that and I'd be like mm-hmm And then skrish skrish skrish and all of a sudden there'd be this three pisses the fucking three priests to stand there's gonna like thank you Mm-hmm. Oh mayor see mr. Zabrowski. You want an Ozzy Osbourne at the Alamo moment? I do. Okay. Hmm. Oh, you could get banned from Paris. Oh Oh, that's such a good tour name for 2020 last podcast and left ban from Paris Yeah, we'll have to do a show in Paris though. That would be fun. I would be fun I'd enjoy that the French authorities say they're using this surprising solution to supplement existing toilets in heavily heavily congested areas Where the urine issues this is a quote the interest of this is the interest of this new urban fixture lies in its mobility Ease of installation and use as well as its ecological dimension. I think it's disgusting. I think it's great

I think it's a wonderful idea They could do whatever the fuck it is they want over there What I do like is when you see the picture of the man using in the year it's what yeah I don't know if that's a man. They just found or that was a man that they saw because he looks guilty Yeah, see him hiding his face from the camera as he's pissing who could do it I would do it stage fright alone. I I couldn't there's no way. Do they have like a little planner on top of that? I'm looking at the picture and it looks like they have like dirt on top there might be yeah

So you could put out your cigarette. Oh, well, that's I remember back then when you could smoke in a bar and it's like it was always weird to be like Smoking in the bathroom as you're taking a piss and the cigarette smoke is just like going in your eyes And you're just like you're just doing the like though the one lip thing where you leave the whole cigarette in your mouth Like three minutes and just I Missed that so much you miss that aspect of it. That's so much smoking and being oh man Well, it's just good memories from college Yeah, just good memories getting fucking wasted at bash rip rocks 4 p.m. In the afternoon and just going to the bathroom

You know puff it on the cigarette because you know you're in there for six hours And you got you got to smoke at least two and a half packs of cigarettes Well, all of a sudden you start hearing a tapping from the urinal, you know Larry Craig is in there He's now in a new kind of like he figured out a contraption where he could hang his suspenders on the side of the urinal So it's his body so we can really extend his legs out to the side. I Miss smoking inside but actually my favorite bar in Atlanta is now actually as of September 1st So they're no longer doing smoking inside at the yacht club, which makes me honestly both Nostalgic and also happy for them because it's about time for it. Yes. We got to save our lungs

We got to save our lives. We got to save the future. Uh-huh. All right Well, there's a couple of alien stories we have to get to but Henry you got a you got a tail You would like to tell there was this one I mean honestly what I like about this show is it's mostly you have an opportunity to go look this stuff up It's a very interesting video, but a man named Calvin Parker, Jr. And he would him and his buddy Charles Hickson were Both abducted by aliens when I guess is in the 19th in 1973 And this is a man that kept this very quiet for a long time when he first came out about it and said that I was abducted

He was obviously ridiculed. He did a couple of television shows as a as a Young man as Calvin Parker. Okay, and it eventually kind of ruined his whole life So he decided to kind of put it all away and so eventually it just got to a point where the story was haunting him so bad They need to come out and he recently wrote a self-published book called pass Pascagoula the closest encounter my story by Calvin Parker and it happened in Pascagoula I guess it's Pascagoula. Yeah, it's it's yeah, it's past Pascagoula, Mississippi Actually, yeah, we showed a video of this guy at one of our live shows long long ago

Hmm like yes, it was a very interesting creature creature too because it said it was three legless creatures They floated from the craft that they saw as him and his buddy were fishing which means George translates to drinking beer Yes, of course throwing back some suds you got your fishing. I'm actually gonna start taking up fishing. I'm really into it Yeah, you can't call it you can't call it drinking beer avoiding the family because the in-laws are in town You just call it fishing fishing. It's fishing. Yeah, so these three legless creatures floated from the craft one had no neck With gray wrinkled skin the other had a neck and appeared to be more feminine Parker described their hands as being shaped like mittens or crab claws and one of the creatures put one of its claws around his arm Parker said that he was terrified, but then another feeling came over his body. Oh, I think they objected us with something to calm us down

I was kind of numb and went along with the program Parker said the creatures floated he and Hickson into the craft and performed physical examinations on the two Then they were taken back to the bank of the river Parker said he didn't want to tell anyone that happened But Hickson convinced him otherwise the two contacted Kaisler Air Force Base and were told that they should call local authorities So they contacted the Jackson County Sheriff's Office, so they went and did investigate it right Interesting, so maybe these aliens were on their own fishing trip trying to avoid their own family and getting hammered off an alien boost Could be that would be awesome, but then they caught two big old screaming pink ones

every time Oh, we got to throw these back So is that his main story that it's his main story. It's very interesting You should watch this interview with him and then the book is I mean, it's a self-published alien book. So if you want to just do that I mean, I've read countless numbers of them and they are fun to do because you get a peer inside of the way Calvin Parker Thinks of himself, which I'm going to say immediately. He's the hero. All right. How credible are we talking here? We got we got who's the most credible person on earth

That would be mr. Rogers. I just rewatched that documentary last night Won't you be my neighbor and then the biggest liar of all time? Oh Who do you think is the biggest greatest liar ever Houdini? I'm sick of him calling it magic. It's lies And also Houdini was actually one of the greatest truth tellers of his time because Houdini used to go through and like he was really against like the spiritualism of the time because he was very close to his mother And he felt that he had been tricked by a couple of spiritualists by telling like oh your mother is speaking with you from the other side So he used to go out and like flip tables over. He's like Jesus with the moneylenders. Oh He'd like flip tables over and tell you just got schooled kiss. Oh, yeah

I guess yeah, Marcus on here. You did. Yeah, I'm just saying if you want to go shins there They can be liars to go for Chris Angel then Chris Angel because Harry Houdini is a wonderful man All right, I am gonna be put to the coals for possibly Defending Chris Angel, but again Chris Angel is in the realm of illusionist. So what he says is that lies? It's a part of his act. I'm not gonna say he's a liar. I will not say that it's the ultimate liar I think the ultimate liar is gotta be Jenny Craig She's making you lie to yourself. Those meals are not gonna fill you. No, they're not going to all right. So Jenny Craig To to mr. Rogers this guy is somewhere in between. Yeah, perfect answer

All right, well and also another another fun fact John Travolta was supposed to play forest gum, but he turned the roll down. What? He turned it down. Thank God. He turned it down Did you just think of that because I said the word Jenny I? Think that this man after 45 years of being completely silent about it If he decides to come back out now, like I think they everyone always uses the excuse that abductees You know, they're just raking in the money. Oh, I don't think it's like have you ever met an abductee? They live it. I'm gonna say we're talking the most studio apartment Yeah, that's the most that them they that they are in alone well because everybody else has left them

We have a candidate running for office who claims that she was abducted and also this week a NASA Astronaut said that he spotted an alien like organic object and he described it as very curvy It was curved and organic looking this dude's name is a Leland Melvin and he seems to be fairly credible We're talking astronaut here. Hmm Melvin the astronaut He played college football at the University of Richmond and was drafted to the Detroit Lions in 1985 So he's very buff and strong and then he went out. Do you think he's the only Detroit lion to ever be abducted by aliens? Oh Do you think Barry Sanders was ever abducted by aliens? Yes, it's possible

So before he became an astronaut he played for the Lions and then he continued to say Houston We have a problem, but he did not want to be an alarmist and that was regarding the alien He said Houston. We have a problem. He really said that. Oh, wow. He saw an alien. Wow I thought that was just the movies. That's from the movie though. He took that from the movie I think he took it. I think he'd been waiting for a really long time for an excuse to say Houston We have a problem and I think seeing an alien. It's pretty good excuse to say Houston. We have a problem. Yeah, absolutely This guy they said something being like I don't think it was that the direct line They even said because Houston night we have a problem. I don't think is the real quote. It is the real

It is absolutely. Well, I'm not from history. It's a real quote from the movie. Yeah for the movie It was an Apollo 13 Apollo 13. Yeah, great movie. Real fun to watch great movie. They can't hear it's a great movie So this is according to Ligel watch Watson author of UFOs of the first world This is what he says now. I think he's a bit of a skeptic here, but let's let's find out He says I think Leland is winding up alien fans and as suggested it was probably an ice formation He saw so now we have a UFO guy saying no It was an ice formation and then he goes on to tell the Daily Mail fortunately He didn't test his explanation by going too close to it

Otherwise it might have shot upwards to cling to his face and we all know what happens next. I think he's mocking him He's mocking him He is mocking him and it's a thing. I've grown accustomed to so I I don't I have a thick skin to being abused for believing in this information the line originally was Houston we've had a problem interesting Sounds like you had sex with a man named problem

All right, all of this gets me I mean it's interesting about how alien abductions can be can be sort of Manipulated because I do believe these people experience trauma That's a part of the reason why they they talk about They talk about it. It's the reason why they come out and they disclose that they've been abducted I think a lot of times. Yes, maybe it is a A what they now say it's like a screen memory for other abuse But I mean something happened for you to be so hysterical these like honest years afterwards

Well going back to what Henry was talking about earlier. Let's go to the wonderful state of Florida Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera. She was just now. This is the woman who claims she was abducted by aliens She's a Republican and she was just endorsed by the Miami Herald So if this is her grand plot to get political attention that Miami Herald ain't no joke. She seems to be doing good Yeah, honestly, honestly if she had got because that's a big-time newspaper, right? Oh, absolutely She so previously she told the Miami Herald that these aliens have communicated with her multiple times throughout her life She says the aliens took her into their spaceship and spoke to her about events that would happen Rodriguez Aguilera said she also spoke

She's also spoken about these supposed events with several Spanish language news outlets We realize that Rodriguez Aguilera is an unusual candidate. That's what the Miami Herald said but They say it's endorsement of her they say they endorse her and that it agrees with Rod Rodriguez Aguilera that her experiences are a Non-issue so it seems like it could work out. It looks like she got abducted by some Nordics Really that her sounded like Nordics woman with long blonde hair. Really Nordic ones are always like Nordics are always the sexy ones Yeah, yes Yeah, so it's some kind of big there was like busty redhead blonde ones and just whoo are we now living in a time where if you are

Abducted you're no longer demonized. You're no longer criticized. We had that one dude on who was a very not the best politician But he was the one who believes in the Bigfoot or Sasquatch. I believe yeah, but they didn't even humanize him Yeah, it does weirdly humanize him and then they flip it It's also strange how people are like leaning in but it's like but these are political candidates that seem to be fine They it does not sound like the normal day-to-day candidate. This Mississippi man is still being ridiculed For his beliefs. I mean, what do you think? I would I think that this could drive people to the polls for this gal Yeah, quite possibly at least ironically at least yeah, why wouldn't you know that's a problem? We're already we're already we're at We're at we're at because of stupid ironic. No, don't you because of iron?

But yeah, because it yeah four channers loved irony so much that they started eating it for breakfast We're already there. I know we're either but if we're talking what is this wasn't there some treaty supposedly? Eisenhower signed with the grays. Yeah. Yeah, the tree 1950 don't we don't we want a politician in there that has direct contact to the Aliens. She's on the ground floor. They're lying to us Mm-hmm Listen to me Listen to me you just go the aliens are real and just because he's the other entities and they're speaking to us It does not mean that they are truthful and that they are helpful. Oh the a lot of times

I'm gonna tell you this and that's what I do that is a part of they are lying to us But Steven Greer is this information they are not here to help us if they are coming if they are coming and they want to Be a part of our society. They're coming to destroy us the three-body problem talks about all time because they are that we if we will Be a threat if they are how are we a threat? We're soft little puddles of water. We're extremely violent species But the aliens are gonna be like 12 feet tall covered in you know metal or whatever This is just if they are nuts and bolts aliens though. Maybe I'm thinking of the goombas for Mario brothers I'm just saying if these are if these are crafts from other planets and they're coming here They're gonna kill us they're interdimensional creatures and that's something else far net more nebulous

Then we could maybe live together in harmony, but for the most part. I think they'll just ignore us like we ignore bugs Mm-hmm. All right. Well, I hope that's not the case. I would like maybe one's good at baseball. Are you an alien sports? Yeah, come on. They'll drink it. They're drinking all sport You're heading into men in black territory you're heading into the movies men in black. Oh, yeah, the real men in black There, okay, and we're wrapping us out the world's tallest man saves Dolphin Oh, yeah, it's a special story for me. Yeah, this is the Chinese government They found they had a call in some extra help from Mongolian herdsman Bao Zixun Who's called in after these dolphins these prize dolphins swallowed plastic user on their pool and an aquarium in Fushun

Northeast China they had a they didn't know how to get the plastic out of their guts So he had to go and take his so he is seven feet nine inches tall He had to take his one point zero six meter long arm into the mammal's stomachs They had to wrap up their teeth with t-shirts and towels. What's not on him He's very humble seeming And pull out all this fucking plastic wow the dolphins are doing well and they just sent him back to wherever the fuck It is he comes from oh my words Wow, he's a herdsman that's gonna hurt the back being a herdsman bending down seven foot nine trying to whack down some bushes

Oh, yeah, yeah, he was normal height until he was 16 and then he went on a gigantic Extremely painful extremely inconvenient growth spur yikes is he still growing? Maybe he has gigantism What does the guy look like now here? He after seven years he stopped he stopped yeah, mm-hmm He looks pretty he looks you know like you'd think he looks he's got a big head He's kind of a little bit out of he's out of these he looks like the tall man from Twin Peaks kind of okay sure Yeah, he's I mean he's got little mirrors on just to tell just a little bit George Mira son Uh-huh all right. I hear what you're saying that happens. You know

You can't have both worlds. You can't be super tall and super handsome You can be super tall and not handsome or you can be a normal height and very handsome No, you are tall and handsome You can't be that type because that really really requires organ failure for you to be eight feet tall like that Yes, well that must you must be the tallest person in the world. Yes. Oh in the whole world Oh, yes, no whole world, but they're using him like a tool Right really what me like like I have to use Natalie to get the groceries up to the top level of the cupboards Right, right. Well, that's kind of sad insight into your personal life there

But I like it because then she's high above me and I think it's sexy Uh-huh, what so yeah, no there has to be some tool they could have used instead of this man's I don't know is this gotta be there was somebody at the zoo that they were wondering how do we get this plastic out of this dolphin And then someone thought I know what call the world's tallest Get me bow g son. Yeah, he's kind of a superhero, huh? But he's got to live his life in a lot of pain, right? Yeah, well I'm sure you can't like the the former world's largest man who I took a picture with in London It was a statue of him. Yeah, and then people said

Got a fun roast mode He couldn't feel his feet and then he got into in an infection because the blood veins don't go all the way down Yeah, well, it's a pain pain receptors don't go all the way down So yeah, so he wasn't able to feel anything like he the pain receptors don't go all the way down The guy had to use braces to just stand And one night the braces got an infection He didn't notice it until the next day everything swelled up the infection went to his brain and he died John Travolta was gonna be for his gump, huh? He was good

It was between like they actually Tom Hanks was the fourth person to be offered the role. They before that they went through John Travolta Bill Murray Bill Murray and Chevy Chase. I like Bill Murray very much Chevy Chase is a person isn't that great, but I love Fletcher and all the vacations, but it's gotta be Tom Hanks We know this now. Yeah, we know this now But what kind of world is there a world where Travolta is for us? God, I hope so cuz I want to see that movie so fucking bad I would have seen it in a second. I would have seen it in a second. I would have loved yeah Wow, I would love seeing that shit, but oh shit. That's the thing didn't Forrest Gump and Pulp Fiction come out the same year Yes, yeah, so that would So if Tom Hanks was in Pulp Fiction and Travolta was for in Forrest Gump

Tom Hanks would have also been fantastic in that role and in Pulp as Vincent Vega if Tom Hanks would have been fucking great in that Yeah, I could totally see that. It would have been great in all of it. All of it's good, but they're all very talented Whoever I mean, they're just lucky the way it rolled out. They're all very lucky That's okay. All right. No need to get all bitter there. There was 1994 you were 12. Yeah, so yeah man get me in there I was almost in a day if you tell you this about how I was in two callbacks to be the bully and um the little rascals movie No, no Yeah, I was really close to being that you were a child actor. Yeah, but I wouldn't suck dick like the other kids Oh, that's why you didn't get it. I'm sure that's why I'm sure I'm sure or did you walk in and say that to the

Dick today The role is the bully in the little But all right everyone. Well, thank you so much for listening to our little side stories Of course, we got the the more factual Informative episode coming up here later on this week very exciting content. I'm excited to hear about this lady Yeah, I've been having a lot of fun with this one been working hard on it. It's probably gonna be a two-parter But yeah, it has been super fun to go through this story and it is definitely among it's gonna be I think Possibly the grossest murder we've ever covered

On the show like I think it could be the gross. I mean maybe the most to start I mean the only other murder that comes close to this is I don't know Richard chase. Oh, wow. Okay. We're in chase territory Yeah, Richard Richard chase is the only like Richard chase. I think still might beat it But on the other hand Richard chase was uh, you know out of his mind, you know, he was crazy this woman was She was uh, okay. Let's not give him too much. Let's not give him too much Let's just say she was a couple uh, uh, she had a couple of kangaroos loose in her upper paddock Yeah Okay, Henry Zabrowski, you can find him on all the social medias and stuff. I don't know who gives a shit

All right, Marcus Park same thing. I'm the same thing as well. And I guess that's about it. Hail yourselves everyone Hail Satan Oh, hell hell keen. Oh look at that. And if you're living then if you're not loving then you're not laughing You should be dying. Oh, that's not good