Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Law & Otter

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

The boys are back in town - fresh from their week at sea, Henry & Eddie bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news - Elephants attack a man in Malaysia and then return later to finish him off, Austin woman kidnapped, held hostage, and shot with a BB gun by "friends", over 100 piles of creamated ashes mysteriously dumped in desert outside of Las Vegas, The Peanut-Butter Man, Splash: The World's First Search & Rescue Otter, Listener Emails, and MORE! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to this is the last podcast on the left side stories that's when the cannibalism started side stories yes yes new LPN dog in the house It's a cute doggy. It's a champ. It's a champ. It's Rob's new dog. And I'm playing with him. Say hi to the people, champ. Wow, nothing. Nothing, huh? Wow. You're no Indiana Jones. You're no Indiana Jones. That's for certain. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not yet. Okay. Now I'm going to let him go and he's going to get caught in the wires. Yes. Yeah, yeah. I'm running around. He's got sharp puppy teeth. He does. Yeah, he got me good.

I'm training them how to bite people. Yeah, it's good to do. Get him real aggressive. Hate every man. Hate every man. Attack every man you see. Okay, now I got them all crazy. I'll give him to you.

Yeah, good work. And now I'm sitting here. You had a puppy in front of you. I have the deeply emasculating iPad again. Oh, yes. What happened to you? My computer just exploded again. I got to get a new one.

I do wonder if it's the sheer passion. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If it just can handle. Yeah, because it's just you love it too much. Oh, yeah, because I'm always like, go, go, go, go, good, good, good, especially when I'm alone. Nothing is more passionate than the masturbating of a married man alone.

Oh, man. I was just hanging out with my boys in Orlando, and I rented two townhouses. Okay? And then one of them has, you know, my buddy was in the king bed, and I was sleeping in a twin bed. That's very nice of you. It was very nice of me, and I did it, and that was fine. But, and then my other buddies... It shows that you could still be one of the people.

But the thing is, the other place was, like, the townhouse full of married men. and they weren't staying the last night. So I'm like, oh, I'll go over there. And then I'll take the nice bed in the other place, you know, separate. And then I thought, this married man. Never sleep in the bed of a married man sleeping alone. He's away from one night. Oh, yeah.

Married man with kids. It was, I didn't even want to look at the pet. Dude, I sometimes just... I was like, you know what? I'm going to sleep in that twin bed one more time because I don't know what he did in there. Something like shit, I don't wipe and I just don't put underwear on. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Something that'll roll around and I'm in bed. If I'm alone, if the women, if I'm alone, if the women are, are gone especially people who like us it don't matter we're gone all the time yes so it's like I've lost the romance of being by myself on the road no there is none anymore but these guys never alone no so you know it was like he probably went for

like four or five times oh very much oh they're doing stuff they're doing like Albert fish stuff yeah yeah at some point like if you're that type of Mary that's really honestly scares that that scares me yeah so I slept in a twin bed for three nights well you don't look like it thank you thank you

it's weird being in a bed that you're bigger then? I know. Just like, hands and feet hanging off the side of it, you know. You're like, oh, we better bring him four whole roast

chickens or he'll destroy the inn. Welcome to side stories. I'm Henry Soprowski. I'm sitting here with the too big for a twin bed Ed Larson. How you doing? What's going on, buddy? I haven't seen you in hours. Almost, almost a full 24 hours.

Eddie and I just got back from Crime Wave at C. We can't talk enough about how much fun we had. It was just, it was so good getting to know everybody, hanging out with the fans. The fans, not one shitbag in the bunch. That was my rule. I couldn't believe it. That was my hard and fast rule.

The very, very top was like, if any single, massive, horrific emergency happens, at all, we're never doing this again. But it was... Honestly, nobody died. Nobody got hurt. I know that there was some wife swapping. Yes. Not with ours. Not with ours. No, no, no. Our wives

can't stand other husbands. No, no, no. They're barely like us. Yeah, oh yeah. So it's one of those. It was truly a... You guys were really, really good. I want to say thank you. We can confirm there was at least one orgy. I know that there was. And for that,

Honestly, dude, Rob, you missed out, man. It was a, and it was truly a blast. Everybody was in really good spirits, and we want to thank you. We saw people, like, change who they were by the end of it, you know? Like, people showed up, like, they're real mousy, and by the end, they're, like, dancing on top of each other. Like, dangerously so. It was crazy. It was wild, man.

It was pretty amazing. So, that was the crime wave and see. Thank you, guys. Everybody over at I are real, IRL events and Royal Caribbean. Brat and Ryan. All you animals. Can't believe it. Can't believe nobody died. Robert the cop.

In Royal Caribbean, honestly. It was pretty nice. Except for the fact that Eddie and I are going to talk about this, you know, just very quickly because we don't want this to. We are going to eventually develop our own uncle segment. We're going to need to do this separate from everything. It's who we are at this point. At first we were like, ah, should we do this every week? But now I just realized we are that.

You want me saying no cap and shit? Sorry, we're not going to become flagrant here. Yeah, we're not doing that. We're not saying, I don't even know what it means, and I won't know. That's fine. I'll take that. I'll take it. That's dead ass, dude.

Yeah, it's super fucking dead ass. I do like dead ass. I do, too. I do enjoy dead ass. I do as well. But, Royal Caribbean, no midnight buffet. What the fuck? We're talking about this for months.

We're talking about the midnight buffet. I mean it. After just pizza. There was no food. There was just pizza. But you have to wait, even if that pizza, you had to wait online for so long. We are already, we're all charged up, we're all filled with the water

down. Midnight buffet is a real thing that should exist. It always has it. Also, none of the floors on the ship have fun names anymore. They don't do the names anymore because people get lost. It's just one and two and three and four. Fuck you. Also, my... In the middle of all this calamity of the

fucking government shut down and air traffic controllers calling out and it's extremely fucked up to be traveling right now through the air. One of the things that drove me, fucking nuts was coming out of Fort Lauderdale and we were on time to our connecting flight

the old pieces of shit that we're getting on to that plane made us miss the connection it took an hour and 20 minutes to board there were 30 wheelchairs and each

one of them was difficult they weren't smiling and shit they're all coming to going I miss the old wheelchair like they're all like and they're all surprised they were in a plane. You know what old people? What happens to old people? At some point you hit 72 years old and it's like you lose the ability to emotionally regulate to be able to figure out how to do things on your own.

Yeah, old people I think really like it's always nice. You always have these dreams like, oh, I'm going to take Mema to Paris one day. Leave Mima at home. Old people need to stay at home. They're done. I think it's official. Leave Mema. Keep them at home.

Oh, before we go on past the cruise though, I got to say. shout out to my boy Gator Gator Chris You came for the crown You didn't fucking make it You came super close Dude you guys did not know We fucking had the most epic

Connect 4 battle that Ed has ever Because truly he was good He was really good You guys this is one of the big Unadvertised elements Of a cruise with us Is the fact that a man arrived At our Q&A

With a Connect 4 board After Ed Larson has said multiple times He is undefeated amongst our friend group in playing Connect 4 they did an exhibition match which he won His name's Chris

His name's Chris Yeah he did great I think he's like a doctor or something Yeah some dumb shit Some kind of fucking stupid doctor Don't be his patient Because he can't even win in Connect 4 But then during our dance competition

In which I almost bested Five competitors against me Two nine inch nailses hurt Eddie Beat the shit out of Chris I mean I didn't beat the shit out of it It went Best of five

It went to full five. Yeah, I know, and I made... And both of us had fault matches, too. So it was like, it was, it was really intense. It actually was the best of five that went seven games. I made $2,500, yeah. That's really cool. Yeah, I mean, on that and...

I love illegal gambling and sees. And the money that I made from that, um, cause that person not be able to get home. Yeah, what are you going to do? Yeah, from the... Now he's eating cats. And I have no sympathy for them. No, you can't. Why would you have sympathy for a loser?

Yeah, losers lose. Losers lose. Loos. When you play me and connect for, you fucking lose. That's the thing. W's or W. Yeah. So if we ever cruise again,

I hope to see some of you fuckers come to challenge me and try to take the crown. Because I am the fucking champion. I'm going to, you know what? And this is untrained, by the way. I haven't played in years

and I'm still the goddamn champion. I know you're like Bo Jackson. Yeah, I really am. But just show up unpracticed, fucking home run. That's what you truly impressed me. Yeah, I don't give a shit about shit. You go fuck yourself, you motherfuckers.

Although I did like the Chris guy. He thought he was very nice. He was extremely funny. And everybody, again, thank you to everybody that came to Crime Wave at Sea. we had a fucking blast. Yeah, someone gave me a pile of tiny orcas that I was just given to people the whole time.

Oh, yeah, that was really cute. That was really cute. Yeah, Ashley hooked me up with all them tiny orkers. Thank you. Thank you for everybody, all the lovely gifts. Speaking of the tiny orcas, I'm going to be in San Diego this weekend.

If you're around on Sunday, San Diego, Mike Drop comedy. Are Tiny Orkers? Is it the name of your new fan base? That's the die. I am turning into a tiny orca. That is what's happening. You're eating a lot of tin fish.

Yes. Oh, I love it. Yes. So come see me this weekend if you're in San Diego. We're going to have a lot of fun with Amber, Ashley, and Julie. You can smell them. Yes. The smell of smoked heroin, herring, like he's the queen of Switzerland.

God knows what they eat over there. We have a little bit of an update. First of all, the response I got back talking about my obviously vulnerable admission. That your underwear don't work. It falls down inside of my pants. I'm going to add this here, 76. 83, 88, 100. We have over 120 responses.

Really? So this happens. You're not the only person this happens to. Nope. You connected with the audience. I want to say also, I really want to say thank you to the beautiful woman contingent that are dealing with this. And to those of you that sent pictures, great. So many people sending pictures with their deflated underwear, how it won't hang. obvious evidence. Like just stuff of like their pants like wearing tight pants and underwear bunched up at the very bottom of the pants.

These people aren't sending you general pictures. No, I wish. No, no, no. It's just don't wish for it. They'll send it. I know. But I'm just saying I saw a lot of evidence of it and it's the women's bravery that came forward that really kind of touched me a lot.

And a lot of people, obviously there was a lot of very funny answers about how I'm supposed to fix this problem again to elucidate. My underwear falls down. inside of my pants and it makes my life difficult several people this is the kind of the responses i got um some really funny no joke joke answers i got some there's several just pictures of hank hills butt several messages of just stop wearing underwear thanks um my wife loves that my jeans love that i could see you in a thong high-wasted underwear combined with slacks right no more

jeans, which also, what's high-wasted underwear for a man? I think that's a girdle. I'm, again, I'm not fine there, but finally, this is the actual answer that I'm now trying to figure out what to do, because they're saying to, the big answer that I'm getting from ladies is to switch to cloth button up. Cloth button up. Yes. So this is what they're saying, from Ashley.

I studied fashion in college, and I might be able to put you on the right path with solving your egg-shaped man underwear problem. Elastic will always try to find the narrowest part of your body. Tying elastic around the waist is how we find the smallest part of a woman's torso in dressmaking. Therefore, doing that thing with it seems logical and getting tighter waist will not work. This is also why it doesn't matter what size you are. If your middle isn't the narrowest part of you, your waistband will move somewhere that it is. I would suggest either going for pairs that are just staying up so that the elastic isn't strained as much

or cloth button up boxers that there's no elastic ring to betray you and this is, so Rob just put up a piece of underwear in which I'm supposed to wear underwear from the tops of my knees to my rib cage. So I'm supposed to wear a body suit like I am. I mean, winter's coming up, dude. You know what? It just, I feel like...

I gotta say, though, they have smalls available but they're sold out. So maybe you think they work. It makes me... The bigger size is... are sold out, it makes me think that this works. Men are seriously wearing full

body underrews, in which it has a built-ins look nice. Rounder bum is the company. We're not sponsored. It is a built-in thong. And how are you supposed to get it in out of this to fucking have diarrhea? Honestly, Henry, I think this would be really good for you,

like, at least on stage. I feel like it's... Like, on stage, like... It's just about on stage. Yeah, it's about on stage. about what I'm sitting here. Or if you're at a wedding, you know, and you're doing a lot of dancing or something. You know, performing at a wedding. Yeah, performing at a wedding. Doing karaoke. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, I don't think, I think, I think, I think in this situation, you can keep your dirty, horrible underwear. But, like, I think, oh, this guy's got a full suit.

That is ridiculous. What the living fuck is this for? They can't even get models to do this. It's all like skins. It's AI drawings. Yeah, it's AI drawings of people. It's like a video game for. I'm now looking at a full body underwear piece that involves, like, it's like a one piece, like bathing suit for a man with sleeves. Bringing it back. Wait, why? I'd love to see you in this.

Oh, yeah, spanks. I feel like spanks would be good for you. Spanx hurt. Do that? You've tried them. Yes. Really? Spanx hurt. Was it getting spanked? Because I've heard that hurts. Sometimes. Sometimes, it's just the ride way. Yeah. Oh, someone teaches me another lesson.

I like when they spanked me in the middle. yeah nothing's like right in the hole right in the hole and then like some of you lick it and you know we have stories today guys I promise you we'll get to some stories right from your grave

the year is 2012 the setting New York City there are a thousand stories in the naked city and this one is about blood.

Vampires are reeled. They stalk the streets, feeding on the living. Nobody is safe. Join me, Henry Zabrowski, along with Jackie Zabrowski and veteran TRPG player Ross Bryant for an actual play series set in the Vampire the Mascarade Universe from the mind of Game Master Jared Loker. This show will premiere on the LPNTV YouTube channel starting on Wednesday, October 29th, and will release on a weekly base.

People will die, then get back up and bite you. Will my character succumb to the beast within? Can Jackie navigate the Byzantine intrigues of the dam? The future is in the street. All we know is, it's going to be a bloodbath. LPN RPG presents Bloodbath. Every Wednesday on the LPN TV YouTube channel. It all begins on October 29th.

Enjoy the mysteries. Oh, home, home, oh, oh, oh, oh. There was it. Actually, I want to hear it once. We've got an update for you. It's an island adventure. Yeah. Heck yeah.

It's Jeffrey time. What's our update? Is it how, is it how Jis Lane is getting, special treatment in this jail? Yes. So this is the big thing that the new news that's coming out is obviously the Trump administration said that Jislane Maxwell was getting no different, separate, or any form of cushy treatment. The brand new medium security jail, she was dropped off even though she's a convicted human trafficker. They went, she's apparently now whistleblowers from inside the jail, because we're covering this, how they're shutting people up from calling about what's going on inside. at the jail. Like her fellow prisoners, we now know for a fact that she's being led in a form of like

where the way they put it was like she's being like diamond class. Yeah. She's being weighted upon hand and foot and they're bringing her special food and they're giving her special allowances to go work out and they're doing all the stuff. So Gis Lane is getting very, very comfortable down there.

Yeah, she really is. She's staying in her Gis Lane. That's for damn sure. Absolutely. And there's a lot. They're really trying to sweet. She's still seeking commutation of her sentence. We know that's going to happen. We know P. Diddy's also next in the list not looking as likely because P. Diddy's not doing well in jail right now.

He got hammered. He's making a lot of bad mistakes. He got caught doing an illegal triple Zoom call. Oh. He got caught. How did he do a triple Zoom call? He was doing a, he literally merged. He was merging in jail. He got that. He's in a lot of trouble.

Merged in therapy. And I also got a really interesting email from somebody that said part of the reason why we're seeing this massive dragging their feet of opening up the government. We know, know that there's a nominal agreement to maybe open the government again because Democrats fold because they're a bunch of cowardless, spiless, pieces of shit, right? And so, but we all sitting here getting our ass handed to us and you're just going to quit for nothing. They're literally just watching tumbles, the plane tumbles out of the sky and people do it. Whatever. Fine, whatever this is not, we're not, we're not MSNBC. Yeah, Federman sucks.

Yep, we don't. So we now know that they, but nothing has been confirmed. Again, this is coming out tomorrow, so it's going to be, God knows what the news is going to be, really. But it seems that one of the big issues here is a, there are documents inside of this file that are actually quite bad for the President of United States of America. So I'm getting little birdies telling me that a part of the issue is that, and I'm going to do this, what's fun, is that I'm just going to say this without any proof because I can. Well, we don't, you know, alleged details. Yeah, I love it.

Is that Trump's got pictures, there are pictures of Trump with children. I mean, of course. I mean, he had the beauty pageant. He bragged about walking around and checking him out naked. Yeah, so we, that's kind of, they're saying that part of the reason why they are really trying. to fight this, the government from opening this because they are hoping that the clout

that they will get, the political clout that they will get from opening from this happening after how badly everyone's going to be angry at them from opening up the government. Yeah. Because they're going to do this vote. They're going to rush this Epstein vote. Again, I'll believe it when I see it. Yeah, I'll believe it when I, for sure. Yes, but

it doesn't matter. They're taking away our health insurance. Oh, no. Either way, they did the thing that they wanted to do in the first place. Don't worry. Democrats wanted to do it too. Yeah. That's what's not a, this is not a partisan issue. They hate, they hate that you want to live. They just wish that you could work for free. And I get it.

It's so hard. Oh, fuck Schumer. Oh, man. Schumer needs to be put away. I think public spanking would be great. I'd love to see him just kill him. Yeah, you'd think so? Yeah, kill him.

Take his pants down. No. Just spank him in public. The act of you of someone taking his pants down, I kill him. You think so? Oh, you get a little chilly. He gets so excited, too. What's the last time someone's voluntarily taking his pants down that wasn't like assured that they were, their lives were going to be destroyed?

Yeah, the last person who gave him a blowjob, I had to adjust their readers. Because they just sit right at the very end of his penis like that. That's our part. It's his dangles. That's that new zoomer thing. All right, we've got some other stories. Eddie, what are we got? All right.

Well, the first one, you know, I love my animal stories. This one's great It comes out of Malaysia A wild elephant Broke a man's leg In an attack And then later that night Returned and killed him

Now this is like I feel like this is the second time I'm hearing something like this Well the other one was the case That was in India This was years ago This was like three or four years ago Now

Where the details are fuzzy to me And this other case But like basically this woman Did something horrible To this elephant killed her and then later came back and destroyed her funeral. Yes, I remember that, and that was awesome. Yeah, that was a great

story. I love the stories. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was fucking metal as fuck. But this one, it was a logger. Um, I don't think he was actually doing anything wrong unless, except for cutting down trees. Well, it's the problem is the elephant, more of an IPA elephant? Oh, stole that from you. Yes, yes, because I dressed Julie up like a logger.

Yep. Yes. But, um, the, uh, so a Malaysian man, his name was Sidi Jahari, um, 43 years old, was working in a logging site, in northern part of the country when this incident occurred. The elephant attacked him while he was working and it broke both of his fucking

legs after it stomped on him a bunch. What the fuck? Was he coming on to his like territory or something? I mean, everywhere is an elephant's territory. If you're in the woods... Not my house. Well, yeah, but if you're in the woods... An elephant tried to roll into my property. I would have no compunction with

shooting it in the head. Trying to come into my property? I'm pretty. sure it would kill you. Yeah. It would kill you immediately. But we might get scared of the dogs. Elephants are actually scared of dogs in a weird way. Remember that video we showed? Was that the video? I've showed you that video on the stream. What? With the dog, with the elephant kicking the badger.

Oh, yes. With the badger and it just keeps just like putting the badger away. Badgers are tough, though. They don't go a fuck about nothing. But so they broke the dude's legs and they brought them inside and they were just a tent. You know, it wasn't any, it wasn't like an actual structure. Yeah, sure. And they brought him inside for temporary protection. But not long after a bull elephant believed to be the herd leader returned, attacked him again,

and ended up taking his life the second attack. You need a fucking pass if you're coming up in my crib. That's what that shit is, man. Yeah, man, elephants never forget. Never forget, dude. They never fucking forget. You fucked up, you took his trees. He's coming back.

You're going to kill your ass. Yeah, that's my trees. Yeah. Elephants use trees. as money. That's right. That's my money. You're fucking with my money.

That's where my, that's where my leaves are. Or maybe they feel like they're part tree because they both have trunks. Cute. And deeply incorrect. They're not,

they're not trees at all. But it's like, I feel like it sees it and it's just like, man, that guy's like been hanging out with Mowgli all day. Mogli's saying stuff like, it says Mowgli's hood.

Oh, very much so. And I can see Mowgli's saying to this elephant like, that's the guy that fucking over there that's a guy over there he tried to like make me his little like wife or whatever you know what I mean he saw me try to paint me

with one of the colors of the wind or whatever and then fucking that elephant's like let me handle the shit you're right Mowgli I'm sick as in watching these goddamn feeling oh these guys are trying to gentrify my neighborhood colors of the wind though is of course

Pocahontas they're all the same there's no elephants of Pocahontas but everybody's got colors of the wind access if you have a loincloth on you can access the colors of the wind that's how it works that's Disney math I wonder if it's that

yeah but otherwise they came back they killed them there isn't much to the story other than it's just pretty fucking cool I'm sorry I'm sorry that I find it to be cool well elephant's attacking you it's like an elephant singling you out to murder you is just straight up like

we're all like what do wrong when I was uh when I went on my trip to Africa and I did a couple little safaris that each time I had a different like safari leader in the Jeep and then one guy, one of the safari leaders, was just terrified of elephants. It was just like anytime he saw an elephant,

he'd like turn the Jeep around and like go in the other direction. I do think that they're very, he was just like anything else, lions he didn't care or whatever, but if he saw an elephant he's like, oh, nope, not going that way. He was terrified of them. I wonder if it's just because of the way they travel their territory.

There's such an unstoppable force. Yeah, as soon as you piss them off. It's just they're so big, they're so strong, and they're so intelligent. So they're really hard to beat. Do you think you could probably, like, punch a lion in the head? No. But that's why they have the kitty clumpers. Yes.

But, like, it's not like a shark. Because they say, like, truly with sharks, like, you could probably punch a shark away. If you get lucky, they say hit it in the nose. That's what they say. They say hit it in the nose. But good luck. If you miss, your arm's going right in the mouth. I'm going for the dick.

I don't think you're going to reach it. Pull right up in there. Yeah, I always. Put my hand right up there to pull out a little dick and jerk them off until they smile. Yeah, but elephants, they'll fucking come after your ass. I just wonder, side stories, L-P-O-T-L-G-Mail.com, what makes elephants so angry? Yeah, and if you got any crazy elephant stories, I'd really like to hear them. Please.

Yeah, because elephants, they're really fucking awesome. All right, here we go. Here's another horrible story. Oh, we like that. This is a rumble story. Nobody likes this story. Woman, chained up in a backyard, was beaten and tortured by her friend. because they, quote, didn't like her anymore.

Oh. Now, that is, it's truly kind of need more of a reason than that. It's very, very inappropriate. This takes place in, I'm going to say, a horrible place right outside of Austin, Texas. I'm correct. A woman was chained and tortured in a backyard for months. Now, these guys, I guess that she was... Two dudes, three women.

It is very similar to the story. Do you remember we covered the story about... They all blend together, to be honest. Yes. This is another one that is I want to try to gently package this. Okay, cool. Sounds like it's offensive. Definitely. Group of mentally handicapped

group fucks, right? Polycule. It was a mentally handicapped polycule where they kicked out the last of the mentally handicapped ones. You remember the story? You remember Rob. Yeah, with the husband and the son. She was like in a relationship with a guy and also that guy's son.

And they found the guy outside of the 7-11 and they were like talking with them. So that kind of reminds me of this story. Yes, this is them right here. Yeah, Ohio polygamists. Yeah, these guys. This is like literally the worst. Oh, I remember this crew. Yeah, Martina Jones, Aaron Bradshaw. They all look like. They were, they loved that big woman.

God, they did. They all took turns getting a piece of Martina Jones. It sounds like this was kind of similar. These are five. Me and and Mrs. Jones. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. God, please get me on. that list. These are the guys that were arrested. Michelle Garcia, Crystal Garcia, that was Michelle's daughter. Mosh Carney, that was also Michelle's daughter. Juan Pablo Castro. That was the young daughter's husband. Mosh Carney is the name of a, of a person? I think it's MASH, M-A-C-H-E. There's M-H-A. It could be M-H-A. I know that Cash is one. Cash, I know the really awesome

guy they make shoes that I love. He's his called MASH, and it's spelled the same way. But I believe it's called, I believe it might be Mesh, like paper Mesh, because I don't think any of these people have the reading ability to name something, something good. I think that we got, yeah, Maynard, Lefevers. Lefevers. Yeah, Maynard. And they were arrested.

I guess they had all lived together. They would live together for years. Carney told investigators, now this was the one of the daughters. They live with a family And they said that they admitted They'd kept her outside in the yard And restrained her from leaving at first Michelle Garcia reportedly said

If you don't like them, why are you keeping them around? Michelle Garcia reportedly said She began handcuffing the woman months earlier Because the woman would relieve herself in the yard And Garcia did not want her neighbors seeing that But my thing is Michelle, if you're going to handcuff her outside She's going to continue to use the bathroom outside Handcuff her inside.

It's a little thing you've got to tell it. It's a little note there. Piss it in the backyard and enough. It really is not enough. It's not enough. The publication reported that Carney further told police they began handcuffing the woman to prevent her from stealing, claiming the neighbors had complained. She also claimed that the woman had agreed to be being restrained, which is definitely not true.

Crystal Garcia, another one of the daughters told law enforcement that the victim was only maybe 50-50 capable of consent. And multiple suspects claimed the woman suffered from mental health. issues, yes. Yes, I believe that. Yes, absolutely. That's the first thing I believe. They were keep shooting. They got, they said they, you know, they limited her to her food because she had gotten chunky, and then they started shooting her with an electric BB gun, because they didn't want to beat her with their

hands. And then they asked her, finally in the end, they asked the group, why would you do this? And all of them said, it's because we fucking hate her. Yeah, that's not enough. I hate lots of people. It's very much, it's a childlike, and it's

in its naivete of the situation which probably begs which kind of shows a little bit more of the mentality of the people involved I feel like everyone

know and I don't think I think that if you were to take all their IQ points together you could maybe break three digits like I think that

if we put the whole kitten caboodle together as one one crew right I think that this is and they had her for months

tied up in the backyard. Yes. And I will say, maybe she was unlikable. Doesn't mean she deserved it. Let her go. Well, I think that if no one's looking for it for months. How do they even know that she's missing? I don't know.

I honestly don't know. This is all going to come out. This is the very beginning of this story. It's a horrible story. But it did remind me of an even more sad story. The story of anybody had heard about this, Chankuela Robinson, who was beaten to death. It seemed like she was beating.

to death in the Cabo San Lucas by her five friends. They went on vacation with people she sort of knew, and Mexican authorities got a call saying that their friend died of, like, basically it passed out due to alcohol consumption. Yeah. They got there to kind of vaguely kind of corrupt hotel doctors said like, oh, we'll look at her. They didn't say anything about the fact that she had a gigantic contusion on her face. She obviously, her neck was broken because then when the coroner took a look at her, they

found out that she died from extensive. of wounds to the head and a broken neck and we know that there was also a released leaked cell phone video of her friends all beating her while she's naked on a balcony like it's really fucked up it's a horrific story but it's just

another thing being like going all the way to Cabo to do this yeah well we probably thought they were going to get away with it there and they almost did I mean basically so far they have really oh yeah they have not there's been no they the Mexican authorities are still trying to extradite one

of the suspects, but there's not according to U.S. court, there's not enough evidence. And if you know anything more about the story, it's fascinating and horrific, side stories L-P-O-T-L-G-E-Mel.com, there's so many ways to die on vacation. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

So many. That's right. Well, quite a wave at C-2.0. We'll find out. Yeah, the people die. But it's kind of, but I know that they're not the same, but the idea of like a group of friends turning on one of the group of friends in a weird

because they're adults it seems planned it does it seems planned it does for it to escalate like that so fast and it's really

fucking beating but she didn't in the in that story especially when it's a woman in the robinson's story you don't need to defend yourself like that no but in the robinson's story

they are way more like more like casual acquaintances or like this is something else this horrific this story about tying up the girl to the post with the BB guns

and She lived, thankfully in this story, she lived, but it's still just like... But for months? Months. That's wild. I mean, to me on, then you're also like, because she's above 18. So once you're above 18, you can go missing for a long time. Okay.

I'll remember that when I turn 18. God, you're an ugly 15-year-old. My God. Well, check this out. Vegas, we cover a lot of piles of stuff. We really do. We're a big pile You know

There's a bunch of lobsters in the woods We're going to talk about it You know They say there's not things You're going to say this You know There's soup in the road We're going to talk about it

Yeah But here They found 300 plus Piles of Human Remains In the desert Outside of Las Vegas They think a funeral home Might have

Ditched a bunch of Just ashes You know I guess I guess these are just ashes That no one picked up Or maybe there's just stuff they

They gave in a different way We don't know what funeral home they came from. None. There's very little information about it, but they found more than a hundred piles of cremated remains. This is back in August, and they say it belongs to over 300 people. And there's no way to really tell what's going on here, unfortunately. No. But I've heard in the past, I've heard things like, I know this is going to sound stupid because I'm talking about a veterinarian.

But I know a lot of times people just don't pick up the ashes. I think that there, I know, I don't think it sounds that stupid. I think that it's the same. I think that unfortunately there are people that I might be wrong about this. Side stories L-P-O-T-L-T-L-G-M-L-G-MAL.com, but I'm pretty certain that they

sort of default cremate certain people too, right? Yeah, people who have got no one looking for them. Yes. John Doe's, stuff like that. Yes. Yeah, I imagine. I imagine that's what they do.

I don't know for sure. But you're saying that the vets like... The vets like they're just sitting on all these ashes. They don't know what to do. No one's coming to pick them up. You can't just throw them in the trash. So they just end up like getting like storage closets. full of pet ashes.

Well, that's just only because you know vets that are actually very nice and they do care and they won't just throw them in the trash. I think a lot of times they do end up just throwing them in the trash. I'm sure they do. I'm sure they do. So these guys went and dumped fucking all of these pounds of cremains out of, out in Vegas. And you can check out two more piles of cremains at the Vegas wise guys. Oh, we have a wood day's our show.

December 7th. December 7th. We're going to be a wise guys. Glass Podcasts on the left.com. Yeah, yeah. Side stories. Henry and I are doing side stories, December 7th in Vegas.

Come check us out. It's going to be a lot of fun, though. It's our first Vegas show together. Oh, and I cannot wait. We are going to be bringing buckets of cremains, and I can't wait to go up against the likes. Wow, what dignitaries are there? Little Moe Mozarella is going to be performing there.

Wow, Eddie. Oh, Joe DeVito from God. Hotfeld is going to be there. Oh, yeah. Oh, wow, Eddie. What illustrious company. We're with all the greats. Oh, I can't wait to see you the lights of Las Vegas.

Yes, yeah. So come and check us out. They really put us in the good places. Seriously, I will. If you bring a, if you bring one of those FedEx envelopes filled with cremains and we can sign it over to Little Moe Moe-Mazarella. I'll put you on the list. Melissa's there

the night before you guys. Oh, Melissa Villasinior. She seems like a sweet lady. Oh, yeah. She's wonderful human being. She's no fucking more competition, no. There is no law in Nevada borrowing a person from scattering ashes

on public land. State law requires that the funeral operators to preserve the dignity of any remains that remain in care. So basically... But I think you're saying scattering ashes is different than dumping piles of ashes. It's weird.

If they would have scattered it, I bet there wouldn't even got caught. But the fact that the fact that they're all in weird little piles just proves that they were dumping out urns in the middle of the desert and thought they were never going to get caught because the ashes looked like sand. Do you think they did this? Do you think salaried workers

do this or do you think this is a task rabbit? I'm just saying if you're going to do this, if you are a funeral home or a crematory that's getting, bring a rake. Bring it, yeah. Bring a rake. A rake solves this whole thing. No one ever gets caught. Who just smithing around? Why is this a problem? Well, you can't, you

got to properly dispose of remains just out of like respect for for bodies and now they are bringing all these together to preserve the dignity they say i don't give a fuck about the dignity it's human waste it's remain it's body waste like deep in the desert far away from people you don't got it i understand i understand but i do feel like it's still bad to be around i guess what it is is the guys going to do it and they're they're all just because you know how it has been like hey right let's go you know they got to go out and go dump a bunch of urns and then they come back and then they, what are they just, the rest of their day spent pointing people out to ice and stealing ice cream from

children and like, I'm trying to think like, what else those guys do? Yeah, well, now they're all going, they're taking the, the remains of the 315 people and they're just putting them into one crypt. How is that better? I don't know if it's, I don't think it's better. At least here, they're out in the world. They breathe, at least a coyote come by, maybe, you know, you spread it around a little bit. If this is Vegas, you know what should

have happened here? What? What I really, if they really want to, is that the Venetian should have taken upon themselves. Rope off that little pile of fucking remains. And guess what they get? Front row ticket show comes to them. Yeah. Reba.

Wayne Newton. Oh. Frankie Valley. Hey, you know, I hate to... Frankie Valley's not even singing anymore. You're just got to put it on the Bluetooth. He's practically remains. You just put it on the Bluetooth, give him a taste of a show. Give them a taste of Vegas. They're dumped out of here in the desert. You got

Frankie Alvada going on. I don't think they really even know what happened here, though. No, they don't. No, they just dumps it in the woods. The desert. Oh, while a night. Are you in on that like I am? What? Frankie Valley in the Four Seasons? The Frankie Valley. I love Frankie Valley in the Four Seasons.

I'm talking about the... My mom went on a date with one of them. Which one? Winter? Spring. Fuck you, fuck you We've been together too long Too long No, you've not been watching the Frankie Valley This thing now where he acts like an animatronic Oh, well, it's all he can do

It is so frightening He was old 30 years ago when he was on Sopranos It's so disconcerting what they're doing to this man I just wish they would No, he's not, he's making no decisions Yeah, you're right It's the dead stare into nothingness He somehow still knows he's on stage

but it's a high-pitched voice you can't really it's a sucks oh is that what's happening yeah no he's just lip-syncing he just stands on stage and he moves his mouth

yeah he gets piped in he can't sing that anymore yeah um yeah well look at that dance move whoa oh wow who's that whoa hey a second whoa he should get on dancing with the stars

him and by you know who should I hate to keep calling him out on our show but this would be great for Baggins place out in Vegas. Frankie Valley? No. All the remains. Yeah, he does look like a little possessed puppet.

Yeah, I'll kill you. I'll tell you husband, fire. I'll kill you, husband, beautiful woman. Get him awake. Get him out of here. Yeah. Honestly, those remains just sitting in the lobby would be kind of fun. Yeah, why not? Seriously, why is it a showgirl someone? Like, this is such a Vegas has lost. This is why Vegas is falling apart. Vegas is almost done.

They're losing their edge. We're trying to bring them back. If this is real, a real entertainer would have scooped out of those remains and dumped them in the tits of a fucking Admiral Cole Smith lookalike in a goddamn second 10 years ago. Yeah. This should be... Well, she died for a lot of deal. I just mean, you know what I'm saying, a lookalike. It was a casino.

I'm just saying, Eddie. Like, a real Vegas guy would know that this is an opportunity. Absolutely. Because think about this. Not only we entertain you while you're alive, sure. Now we're going to entertain you when you're fucking dead. No. Like, that's amazing.

Put some googly's eyes. Pour it on a bucket. Put some googly eyes on it and show it Haley Bieber's pussy. Do you think they, do you think she's like, well, my pussy needs entertainment? Yeah, I mean, it was. Yeah, I give her money. Right? You know, it's weird.

It must have just happened. They must have, because it's windy out in that desert. So it would have blown away. So this must be like, they must have, like, caught it by a day or two from when it got dumped. It's fresh. Which is crazy. It's very, honestly, it's very, it's, but what we have covered a lot over the years of side stories is just how much corruption is within the funeral industry. How much it's just the same as any other horrific industry.

Yeah. Just because they're dealing with the beloved memories of your family members and shit, doesn't mean they're not run by like Tony from down the street. to mind is he basically he could have a shonis i bet vegas is a town where unidentified people die on a regular basis or that's where i'd want to be if i was a didn't want to be found yeah i just think you know people show up they're hammered they lose their wallet next thing you know they're dead and they can't figure out who they are and then ever no one ever finds out you know again only if you're lucky yeah so but yeah there's a whole bunch of people right from north lane so here we go this is a low level this is low level domestic terrorism i'm about to talk

about, which is also kind of funny in a way, where it's like, we've covered on the show many people in this stead, right? We remember the Penthaman? Yes. It was the Penthaman, and then there was the Gimp of Somerset, and then there was the Silent Man. The Silent Man's our favorite. We love the Silent Man. This guy is a new one.

It's the Peter Butter Man, but now it seems that it's a little bit of a misnomer. Purdue University's Peanut Butter Man remained a sticky mystery, much like Big foot in the northwestern United States until Thursday afternoon. They caught this poor, poor, brave young lad. He covered himself in peanut

butter. Sunflower, but no, no, that's the twist that he. Sorry. God damn it. Oh, yeah. God, fuck. Bleep it, bleep it, bleep it. So, this is what happened. He came in, right? They saw a man covered in what he thought was peanut

butter. Okay. What was it? And it caused a panic. We don't know yet. Not yet. He thought he was peanut butter. And he sent everybody in panic. He was walking through Purdue University. His buddy was filming him. It looked like he had his penis out, right?

No, no. No, it doesn't seem like it. He had shorts on. He had shorts on. Yes. And so, but they had, I guess, shut down the university because of the peanut issue. Because they were worried about, like, people being allergic to peanuts. Oh.

But then it turns out, of course, so they went searching for him. You know that he could have gotten, like, something like attack with a deadly weapon or something like they were talking about this. They were trying to throw all of these things out saying that he was like committing domestic

terrorism. Was he doing it to scare people with allergies? No, he's being silly and stupid. Or was he just like covering himself a peanut butter? Yeah, he's just being a... Maybe Halloween. He's just a college kid. Yeah. It's the funnest thing that kids can do. It's just fun to do. It's better than shooting up a mall. Right?

I think it's fine. It's definitely better than shooting up them all. But then it turns out the twist was in fact sunflower seed butter, which meant that it was not allergies. Didn't have any problems with allergies. So what's the story here? He said the man did not commit a crime. The police are not investigating him

and the university will deal with the sunflower butterman on their own. They have decided. They are not releasing his name. No, I mean, he didn't commit a crime. Well, according to the university, he seemed to commit some form of infraction. Social crime, yeah. I wish I don't know what the social

crime is, is this is what college is for. You know what it is, though? I think if he sat down on a chair, you know, or if he like... Well, yeah, some ancient chair that belonged to Benjamin Franklin. No, even a normal chair. Someone's got to clean that up. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

The number, you said 50, then you said 15, 19, 20. I said 15. 15, and then you up to the 20. Yeah, I mean, that's if he does it in under an hour. You're just cleaning in the fucking deceit. So you're okay with this. covered in liquid shit. I gotta say though, I love sunbutter.

I know. And it seems like, it seems like an expensive thing to do. Oh no, he's exercising his privilege. Yeah, that's what he shows. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no, definitely. Oh, believe me, I clocked that, mister. Do you think he's... Believe me, oh, uh, oh. You think it's a frat thing?

I think that it was, uh, I think that he didn't even say it was a frat thing. I think it was just a dumb boy thing. Okay. He was having fun. I think this is extremely allowed. More than I think it's encouraged. I think it is allowed. I think I'm going to have to say this is also allowed.

I don't like waste of food. That's the biggest crime here. Yeah, I think that's it. And the fact that no one's buying sunflower butter anyway. It's because I don't like it as much. Man, best ice cream I ever had was sunflower butter and jelly. Oh, my God. That was a fucking, that was unbelievable.

Where? Lambertville. Where's Lambertville? New Jersey. Why? Because my cousin lives there. And I was there and she was like, oh, we got this cute little ice cream shop. But it wasn't like vegan?

It was it good? No, it wasn't vegan. It was real ice cream. And it was the best one. I tried all of them because I have very fancy. Yeah, you're getting hungry. Actually, even saying. I can see it.

I can see you licking your lips. Now you want the sunflower butter. Yeah, jelly. Yeah. It was the best ice cream ever had. Wow. So, yeah, sunflower butter and jelly. If you know of a place, if I can get that ice cream, you let me know.

Side Stories, L-P-O-T-O-T-O-com. This is the real. The real bowl. shit right here. I need to find out. I want some more. That's all this story reminds me of. That's all it is. That's really good ice cream in Lambertville. All right. Real quick news. U.K. woman yon so hard. She broke her neck. It's because that's how boring it is to live there. Hey, come on. And then we've got, what's another good one? Splash is Florida's Sheriff's Department's First Search and Rescue Otter. That's how much you know

that they don't care if you live or die if they send an otter instead of a person. the otter. Send me a person. Yeah, send people. Yeah. I don't want the otter. What's it going to do? Show up and start. It says it's, it worked like something like two out of five times. That's not that bad, yeah. It's not enough. He solves underwater mysteries.

Five out of five times. Then send the otter. If it's two out of five times, don't send the otter. He's just going to end up chewing on me. Yeah, you send a person or you send the, you said one of the otter. Send a robot versus an otter. Why are we training otters?

train, what's the point of all the robots? Yeah. Well, the robots can't swim like that. Submarines. I guess you can get that little diver guy that they sell who kicks in the front of the KB's toys. How much more money? Do our, we each

fucking state police department, it's like a fucking their own private army. They're training otters with kelp and mackerel and not making robots? I wish they would train a manatee to do it. Then you could really ride the back of a minority. Oh man, when I was, I went and swam at some pigs.

It was a blast and I rode one of the pigs to back to the shore and it was fucking fun. Train the pigs. Train the pigs to go look for people. Honestly, I would rather a pig. Yeah. I'd rather a pig than an otter. Oh yeah, I trust the pig. It's weird.

It's like sending, like, it's such an undependable animal. It's like the idea of like, oh, we've trained the foxes to find people. Like, no, don't train foxes to find people. I mean, there's one guy who loves otters. He works with the police. and he's like, listen, he's finally got his day in the sun. He got one special otter who's solved two out of five bases. So maybe

done stuff. Yeah, yeah. I mean, two out of five, you know, for an otter is pretty good numbers. It shouldn't be a police officer. It's not a cop. No. It's not a cop. Because you know why? It doesn't have, it's not a bastard. Yeah. You know what I mean? A certain breeds of dogs, you can make them become what they need to be to be

police officer. And an otter is too naturally mischievous to be a police officer. I'd rather it be a beaver. I would rather it be again Keep the animals out of it No, dolphins are great at this job No, let them just not have jobs

Yeah I truly, we don't need to hire the otters We need to hire, I'd rather you hire a kid Look at that, there's an otter slam dunk in a basketball That's not saving me out of 9-11 2 It's just, it's just dunking a basketball That doesn't do anything I'd seriously, I'd rather you choose, use kids

That's otterly amazing And it wasn't that otterly amazing technically. It was kind of otterly boring to watch you mess it up. All right,

so we have to figure that out because, so that's what I'm saying. Is that wrong? Amari, you don't think of kids, you would,

he's a regular Amare Stoddum otter. Huh? How about that one? I don't know. How about that one? Honestly, don't know.

We didn't even get to Antonio Brown. We didn't talk about that. We didn't talk about Mark Sanchez. A lot of football violence going on there. It's going on.

It's going on. It's very popular. Do not feel like that would seem, All right. Instead of having an otter, train a child, pay the parents. Train a child. Well, you can't. You can work an otter to death more than you can work a child to death. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, children, you know, they, I mean, look what happened to the stranger things, kids. They're all damaged.

Yeah, they shouldn't have been working so hard all those years. Yeah, they grew up and they got weird looking. Yeah, you can't, you can't, I mean, like, oh, God, talk about, someone who needs to save them from David Harbor. Oh, my God, David. David Arder. David Arder. No, David. Well, David Harper's not, he doesn't do bad with. the kids. He's just an irresponsible husband. Well, no, he's an asshole to Millie Bobby Brown. Yeah, everybody's an asshole.

You're right. I heard Millie Bobby Brown. God knows what goes on down there, man. I think she's all right. I heard some stories, man. I bet you have, man. She killed somebody. She killed people? Yeah, Millie Bobby Browns, man. Yeah, no one coached her on that name? No one told her, no one told her, hey, there's this guy? Yeah, she actually, weirdly

right before she died, Millie Bobby Brown went and found Whitney Houston's daughter. and beat the shit out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just to the sake of it. I mean, actually, Whitney Houston's daughter died the same way Whitney Houston did. I know. Very, a long time.

Probably. I know it. You probably know? It's extremely sad story. You know what they could have used. An honor. See, then makes sense. It's a shallow bathtub.

And Otter really could have. They really could have saved both of them. Very much so. Yes. Out of a bathtub, out of a hotel bathtub, an otter can save you. So we need to give the otters to the hotels. actually I'm first time I'm agreeing with you today

Release him to the hotels Yeah Let them slop around You can keep them in a wet trench Yeah How long can you really relax at a bathtub If there's an otter in there Oh yeah flopped up a bit

Oh I gotta get out of here And keep that new Lay Meridian Otter bathroom timer Man this guy I'm like obsessed with this I know it's going to come out tomorrow but this influencer passed away

in a horrible accident or a horrible incident and I hate to be so morbid that I really need to know what happened. This is our, this is a true... This is what I deal with. This is what we deal with here is that we are not hoping that this influencer. His name is, what was his name?

His name is Michael Durratae. And he went by... He went by food with bare hands. That was his name. But every picture I see of him with food, he's got gloves on. Yeah, which is a misnomer and I already don't trust him. But I apparently was a lovely man.

There's a go-fund me out there. He seems very cool. But this is the problem is that Eddie got right before the show, he got so for-clempt because legitimately he was like, I know that this is going to have a really grisly end, and I'm hoping that it'll be good for the show. And I said, Eddie, I think it might just be really sad. Oh, but it's definitely really sad.

There's no question about it being really sad or not. His death might be very sad. I know his death is sad. No matter what happened. But I know it's like as soon as we're done recording, there's going to be like, oh, you've got to fuck the death by bears. Yeah, if you got eaten by a llama, then it's not as sad anymore, unfortunately. Yeah, you've got to shoot out with a bunch of aliens.

Yeah, like that, again, it's not that your death is no longer sad. It's just then also your death is entertaining. The thing, the reason I got so obsessed with it is because I've read like 10 articles about it, and then some of them called it an accident and some of them called it an incident. And that's the part of it that kind of flipped me out and made me think of it might be something crazy. Maybe it's because people don't understand how to use the sources. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, if it was a car accident, it's an accident.

I agree. But there's no car incident. No, a car incident is like I took my car and I drove it through the mall. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a car incident. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the car is dangling off a bridge. Yeah. Yeah, I would say that, yeah.

No, I, I, uh, it is very species. We don't know yet there is a go fund me up there to support his family. Help him out. And you can check that out. what is it his name is food with bare hands food with bare hands yeah check that out but yeah we don't know and I'm really hoping that

this is one of those funny things where you also what happens inside stories a lot where we will like sing the praises of somebody we don't know you know and be like oh this wonderful man I can't believe he died in his accident you know we're going to say like because I try to make sure I shoot right down the middle I don't

consider anybody good or bad unless I know him yes right so this guy even then we're wrong sometimes always and I don't know this guy right I don't know this guy so there's a I I'm just hoping that by tomorrow it doesn't come out and it turns out he's both I'm hoping he's not a predator doesn't seem like it also hope he's not the most heroic man in the world so that I think he's a predator in like the classic sense of the word eating animals yeah yeah yeah he's like he goes and he's like he eats barracudas and stuff like that so this is our boilerplate statement to say If he was a really awesome guy, great. We love him. I hope he's good. His kind eyes.

No matter what his crimes are, his eyes are kind. So did Ed Kemper. And he also, if he did really, really bad things, we disavow him. Yeah, he's got an evil mouth. Yes, if there's another. So I just want to cover that entirely. So whatever happens tomorrow in the news, if he's good, we like him. If he's bad, we hate him.

But rest in peace. Rest and peace, either way. No one else I learned, though. I would just rest. I was like, I was trying to find, like, what happened. And I'm digging on all of them. I got to say, the comments on TMZ are brutal. Yeah, they really don't really good at.

They're like, oh, they have a go-fund-me? And they're not telling us to cost of death. Oh, that was stuff like that. They often don't, guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They often don't. It's not like you get to pay to go-farm me. You're like, all right, I'll give you go-for-me.

Let me see the autopsy pictures. But meanwhile, like, you know, I'm obsessed with it, too. So am I just as bad? No, because you're not begging for his autopsy pictures. No, I don't want to see the pictures. I just want to know what happened. I just want to get a whack at his corpse once. Yeah.

Again, if he's a good guy, we're sorry and we love him. And if he's bad, we hate him. And I hope that he burns an hell. So let us go to, I think we got some listener stories. Oh, listen. That's really good That's a cool one It's a good one

It's really good All right I got a couple long ones I'm just gonna jump in Golden State Killer penis length The size of a pinky tip The DA says the new book

This story is called Hunted Fred out It's a new TMZ story I mean it seems like it's our It's our wheelhouse I don't know Gold State Killer Was brought in my justice

is part of because of his micro penis. Yeah, the new book says about it. Yeah. It says smaller than the tip of his pinky finger. Thank God. All the news that's fit to print. Yeah. Here we go. That wasn't in the talk.

No. For some reason. Yeah, it wasn't in that whole thing about Pat and Oswald's wife. Yeah, it was a five-part series. Not one. Didn't put the tiny pinky penis in there? Our favorite part? Yeah.

All right. What are people writing you? There we go. Haunted frat house. I belong to a co-ed sorority frat that I'll just call a frat. It was isolated in the middle of nowhere in a very economically depressed area, so it wasn't the kind of fancy frat sorority you think of. Missouri.

Yes. It was like a really bottom-of-the-barrel disgusting shit pile of a frat, which is hilarious. Arkansas. The house was built in the 1870s and started being a frat house around the 1980s. I think that it had accumulated all the energy from the brutal hazing and all the essay that happened over the years. The ghost activity would always kick up when hazing season was happening.

All my stories take place between 2012 and 2015. Like Eddie mentioned, we had the most common trope of things disappearing and reappearing in strange places. Footsteps and doors opening when there was no one in there. One of the girls blew out her vape and it briefly formed the outline of a person in front of us before dissipating. That's cool. Once I was alone in my bedroom watching a movie on my laptop and I felt something tug

hard on my earring. I yelled nope out loud and ripped them out and never wore earrings there again. Just do the studs. I mean, who knows? Then it can really pop out. Another time I had my debit card in the coat of my pocket and hung it up on the back of my door in my locked room at the end of the night.

In the morning, I went to get my coat and the entire coat was gone from the hook. I searched the entire coat. house, top to bottom, and the coat was just gone. After two days of not being able to buy food, I finally went downtown and got another card. When I came back from that trip and unlocked my bedroom door, the coat with the now defunct debit card was hanging on the back of the door where I'd first left them. Sounds like a prank.

I mean, who knows, but this one. The biggest and freakiest of all the encounters was when I saw a full apparition. It was just briefly, but I know what I saw. We had some girls pledging sleeping on the floor of the living room. We were about to wake them up to do a fucked up hazing thing. I'm working on this in my therapy. But at this point, they were all still asleep. The rest of the sorority was in the room behind me,

quietly milling around, getting things ready, trying not to wake the girls up. It was about 2 a.m. While I was standing in the doorway watching the girls, I noticed a figure out of the corner of my eye. In the room where the girls were sleeping, there was a staircase leading upstairs. Lights run upstairs, but off downstairs,

creating this weird backlit effect. Vividly, I saw a small creature about the size of a child crouched down on one of the stairs and staring out at myself and the girls sleeping on the floor from between the vertical wood bars of the staircase. Could have been a hairless dog.

Definitely. I didn't realize what I was seeing and it was initially really confused, I was confused because I knew all the people in the house who were either right behind me or sleeping in front of me. I looked behind me really, quickly to check. And when I look back,

the figure is gone. All right. So this one I do have, so let's pick one of two because I think we're running out a little, we're out of town. Yeah, we're getting there. I think I can do the two, right? Do whatever you want. It's your show. It's our show.

Oh, you're right. So do one. Aliens coming out of the ocean. My best friend and her boyfriend were visiting Hilton Head Island in South Carolina. On the first night there, they were on the beach and saw what they described as a shooting star but brighter, go down from the sky into the ocean off the coast nearby. They didn't really think much of it, but in the context of what happened the next night, they ended up thinking the shooting star was possibly not actually a shooting star. Cloverfield.

I hope. On the second night, they went to spend a bit of time on the beach directly behind their hotel, looking at the stars on a big blanket. It went to fuck. The only light that was the moonlight and the starlight is they were far enough from the hotel to avoid light pollution so you could see shadowy outlines of everything. But no detail. They were laying there for a while. Eventually things settled down with party goers from the hotel behind them going to bed. And I got a little bit more quiet and solitary on the beach.

After a little while, they were very surprised to see a shadowy visage of a single figure exiting the ocean and a straight direct line. slowly and steadily, in front of them down the beach. They remarked to each other that it was weird and dangerous to be swimming alone in the ocean at night. Up in Jersey, we don't fuck with the riptides, especially down the shore. Not just that, that's when sharks feed. Especially not at night, exactly. The figure stood there for a minute and then started to act strangely, moving jerkily around the beach, running fast to one side and walking really slow to the other way.

Oh, I thought jerked was like, Basically moving around erratically. My friend's boyfriend told her to just stay down, quiet, and still, so the person wouldn't come over and bother them. Again, in Jersey, we're used to tweakers, right? Then the figure started to make odd sounds. He would alternate between shrieking a high-pitched, unintelligible language. They said that it sounded vaguely Asian,

but they couldn't identify or recognize it as any known Asian language they knew of, and it had a very low, deep tenor male voice speaking in English. They started to get weirded out, a little scared with this guy going back and forth erratically and changing his voice back and forth, so dangerously close to them, hiding on the dark. Was he dubbed? I don't know. Yeah, it's weird. Her boyfriend even went so far as to whisper to her to hold one of the stakes that he was holding their blankets,

that was holding the blankets of the sand in her hand, because the strange man was making him so uncomfortable. At this point, they were thinking... It's a waste of steak. I know. you fucking idiot at this point they were thinking he was definitely deranged or on drugs then the man abruptly stopped

and went to stand at the shoreline by the water much to the horror of my friend and her boyfriend other figures started to file two by two out of the water to meet the man pilgrims who knows the late better late than ever it's Cheech Marin that's why I said it like that

from ghostbusters two figures would walk out of the water meet the man's silently where he was standing at the water's edge and walk off in opposite directions down the shoreline without saying a word, one left, one right. Two more would walk out and do the same thing. Filing out of the dark ocean in the middle of the night in an orderly fashion, all in all, about eight figures

in groups of two filed out from the ocean to meet the man and walked on the beach without a word. At one point, two teenagers with phones came walking down the waterline. My friend and her boyfriend could see the lights of their phone screens glowing on their faces, they walk right past the quote-to-quote man and literally didn't even see to see him standing there. This freaked my friend out because he was acting noticeably strange and they walked within inches of him of him.

At this point, with a little distraction, my friend and her boyfriend retreated backward toward the hotel a bit and they decided to watch him from a safer distance back on the sand. They watched him stand there for another hour and a half in the dark. And then suddenly he was gone. Hmm. You know, I'm sure this happened in a way, but I just like, I hate to be this guy, but when you tell someone else's story, I lose all interest. That's the problem. It's somebody else's story. I want to find the people and send them to us. If this is indeed real, I want to talk to them because that is a very interesting story. And I wonder whether or not it is, I mean, it just sounds really strange. Yeah. Very strange. Seems like a good story to tell your friend and lie to them.

I mean, I love lying to my friends. Yeah, I know. This is some physical email. I truly love lying to my friends. I live every day to live my friends, and I laugh every day. I lie to my friends. What is this real weird big box? You're handing us, Rob.

Rob is giving us mail. Oh, mail? Okay. Read the note first. Read the note, Henry. It must be good if he's making us do it. All right, here we go. After hearing mention he's straining his back, trying to suck his own dick, I did.

Yes. And then hearing Ed suggests he put a stroker in his mouth to help provide an extension. A light bulb went off of my head. Being a sales rep for zero tolerance, I wanted to provide a few options for Henry to be able to try Ed's suggestion. I send a few, including

my number one favorite item we manufacture as a bonus. Zero tolerance sounds frightening. Oh my God. Oh, my. No. Take the foot one. Take out the foot one. Oh, God, Eddie. What is it? Zero tolerance.

Is it a knife? No. Because there's a knife company called Zero Tolerance. No, it's a foot you can fuck. Oh! It's a foot-based flesh-light. Oh, you fuck the bottom of the foot. If you could fuck it through the whole of it.

Oh, that's cool. Yeah, it is, Eddie. Pussy-footing around. There you go, that's for you. Oh, this is amazing. I want this one. This is shaped like Danny Daniels. This is her vagina and Angel stroker.

I guess they call them strokers instead of flashlights. Oh, because they don't want to get sued. Because that's the thing. You kept saying fleshlight. That's why she kept saying stroker. Like, I would know what the hell that meant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is Lisa Ann's vagina in her anal, in her anal.

Oh, okay. Her holes. I guess this is, like, will they feel different? I'll never know. How far does it go? Do they put the mold in? Is it go up to their, like, how deep does it go in? I just don't understand the foot thing because, like, it's like, is this person want to bang Christ?

I just don't know. Yes. Yes. I guess my also, that's the thing. Oh, this is a big map. mouth. That's just a mouth. Wow, they really sent us a bunch of fuck toys. What I will say, though, is thank you so much.

Rob, which one do you want? Yeah, honestly, you should... Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is. Listen, I saw, what's her name? Sasha, what's her name? Sasha Gray? Sasha Gray. This is my question, you're right?

So the depth is, you know, it's pretty good. I just don't understand... My question with this... Who's fucking the bottom of a foot? Like, it's a sore. Disgusting to me. No, that's normal. That's what people like. What do you mean?

It's like the palm of a foot. Yes. You said that's the most popular thing. This is the most popular one? I guess because it's not an option. I will say none of this helps me bring my penis closer to my mouth or extend my mouth. Unfortunately, it doesn't. It also just looks like a sad person you can't put their tongue in their mouth.

Well, yeah, that's what it's for. Can you open that one? I'm curious about that one. Oh, this is the mouth one? The mouth one. I'm very careful because it's the tongue always out or does it like come out? No, tongue's always out. Tongue's always out.

Well, no one likes that. I mean, you say this, Eddie. I just don't know if you use them. It just looks like a sick person. Yeah, of course it does. Oh, it has grippers. Wow. Yeah, it looks like, yeah.

You're just going to slam it all in and it's got a you-vuel. Make it talk. Make it say something. Hello. It's a simple of one of the time. Yeah. Oh, God. You're a thing we do this weekend.

The patreon. You want to give over to your bacon. I think Rob's new dog needs a toy. No, you'll destroy this. This is bad for him. We don't know. Go to LLP on the Left for all of your social media needs

and go to Last Podcast and Left.com, buy tickets for a live show. Yeah, that's right. I feel like this is the new opener. Yeah, we got... Guess what? If you're getting this message and you want to come to the Columbus show,

there's 10 tickets left. All right? There's 10 tickets left at Columbus. That's on November 30th. Go get your tickets to that. Henry and I, of course, we'll be at Wise Guys on December 7th in Las Vegas.

Check that out. And then we're hitting Alaska. Dude, just jerk off. Just jerk off. This is so expensive. Like, and I collect, thank you. Zero tolerance. There are people that love this stuff.

No, no, I'm glad you're making your money. I think you so, honestly, I'm glad. Whatever this does to help people, but just straight up, guys, if anybody sees this in your home, they will never touch you ever again. I think this is for people who have given up. Yeah, I know that. This isn't for someone who's, like, trying to get someone home. They're like, no, I got a mouth.

You're going to. I got a mouth. I got a mouth at home. Don't worry. If you are at this point, I mean this. If you're at just the mouth, I actually have... No eyes, the ears. I actually have no problems with the vaginas and the buttholes.

I think that makes a lot of sense. The foot, I don't like. This makes me sad. Yeah. Because guess what this also can say. I love you. It could say whatever you make it say. You know, the old thing is going to say is you fucking ram jam its throat.

I do like that, you know, you really can't tell if it's a, it's a, it's a, man or lady. I don't like the fact that it has no eyes. It's almost like you're just fucking a disembodied hole. If alien was a porno. This is like, I guess that's what this one makes me sad. Yeah. By the way, I'm going to be an Oxnard

on January 4th. It's a Sunday. Come check that out. That guy Carolina Hidalgo, Julia Johns, and Holden and Jake are going to do a set. Do you have any stamps? Do you need me to do any stamps? Because unfortunately there is no natural witness. How much material do you have? Disembodied mouth?

You got five minutes? I'm new. Yeah, I'm new. Maybe you can host. My stuff is pretty broad. Anybody know what it's like? Everybody else gets... Anybody around here?

Everybody gets so fuck so hard in the back you throw that you wonder if you're just some kind of silicone too. Yeah, I miss my eyes. I miss my eyes. I miss my eyes. February 18th, it's a Wednesday.

I'll be in San Francisco. Yeah, that's going to be a lot of fun at the punchline. Oh. With Grant Gordon. He's going to be there. Oh, you're a name and bleve. how much I missed my eyes. It just turned Irish.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, yeah, no, it's no good. Thanks, Colette. Thanks, Colette. Yeah. Thanks for the mouth with the tiny lips. I hope that you're getting it well, Colette. Yeah. Well, thank you guys.

It's been wonderful episode of Side Stories. Eddie. What? Thank you so much for everything you brought to today. Thank you. I appreciate it. I didn't bring nothing. What are we supposed to do with this?

I guess we could sign these and give them away. Every time I see something like this Holden might like that one No, Holden gets nothing Holding gets nothing Holding gets nothing Holding gets nothing If anyone gets this is Travis

Oh yeah, no What do you mean? No No No one with the wife No but no wives Honestly we need somebody who has like a dead wife You know what I mean like that's what this is for

This is for somebody with a dead wife If you're a widower you want a foot the fuck Right in a side stories L POTO at gmail.com The widower with the saddest story. If you have the saddest story, we will send you this. I'll sign the foot. You could fuck the signed foot. Yes.

And just that, yeah. But we, I want to get the saddest story possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want a real sad. For a widower. Yeah. A widower.

Yeah. How did she go? All that stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Would she take? Yeah. And how you feel like you can't, you know, you, you're having trouble like talking to women

again because you're just sad. You think of her. And you miss her feet. If you miss her feet, we'll send you one of these We'll send you some Funko Pops to get you gone Yeah, pussyfooting around You know, it says it's got a depth of nine inches So you can take a big one

Thank God, because I'll need every inch Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You know what I mean? Oh, the insertable length is only five and a half Oh, what am I going to do with all that? This is trash What am I do with all the rest of my cock All right, guys

See you in Vegas See you in Vegas Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha