Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Less People, More Chickens

Episode Date: May 19, 2022

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's true crime stories including Congress' first UFO hearing this century, a battle against dangerous chickens being waged in Hawaii, the Arby's manager caught urinating in the milkshake mix, Listener E-Mails, hero of the week "Car Wash James", and much MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories Hey, I'm let me practice we're in town right we're in New York City for the week and let me let me practice before we go Hello, I am walking here. Hello. No. I'm hey. I'm walking here. Hello, sir You can you hear me inside of your car? I'm walking here. Okay. All right now beep beep honk honk Does that work? Oh, no, I forgot the script Sir in your Datsun. I am walking here So I will stand strong amongst myself and now slowly walk across the crosswalk as I stare you dead in the eyes

Which I do do I do do that's a New York move you have to do it You have to make sure you saunter. Oh, I know and you're like is it green yet? Showtime, baby That's when you get to present. You never know who's in the car You never know if it's a big Hollywood producer. Well, you see that you're took you don't know because I mean They're like is that a Polish model? Needed a tiny butt 38 year old for this ad campaign, but no I remember the cuz I do the same walk that I do because I do the same exact joke to anybody who I'm around Oh, when they do the thing on when you supposed to go on the plane and they make the announcement

Anybody who needs more time to get down the aisle you can work now and I was go. What if I walk like a robot? What if I'm a robot? Stories everyone Ben kissle hanging out with Henry Zabrowski strangely channeling Holden McNeely I don't understand. I go tiny little cowgirl. You can see it in patriotic. You can see it. I go like Oh, it's gonna take me a long time No, they don't know they don't know thank you all so much for listening. We hope you're doing well out there You better be hope to spread a little bit of joy in these strange strange times or manure manure But anyway when it comes to strangeness, do we want to start with what's going on with UFOs?

You don't know middle with it. I will end with it. I was just gonna talk a little bit about it I didn't watch the entire live conference. So this was the first ever red. It was a very rare the first US Congressional hearing about the UAP Unidentified aerial phenomena. That's what they want to call it. That's how they want to cleanse it In the first time in 50 years You have all these suits talking about it and you know what I love about the government What is that they can take what is arguably one of the most fascinating topics in human history? Absolutely And they make it so unbearably boring right that you can't it's like I was trying to pay attention And I sat I tried to pay attention really and I was looking at it and I saw the man and the only words I heard was UAP

UFO those are the only things I heard Weren't excited to see democracy Kind of Dealing with the most important issues of our time, but you know, nonetheless, they were talking on the floor That's kind of excited. No, I don't know because are you saying democracy in action or democracy in action? That's what's so interesting though is and now when I ask you from this perspective because there's this one dude His name is mr. Birchit. This is not top hat. So I don't know nothing about this man's other politics Who are who are these people? Who is this man? Who's Ronald Maltry?

These are the questions we have to ask ourselves. Who is Rick Crawford? No, they were talking I did I was introduced to him because he is the top of the intelligence official from the Pentagon But mr. Birchert again, no idea probably a total scumbag But he says I've been told multiple by multiple sources. We've recovered something from these crafts or objects So do you think Henry when you hear it come out of the mouths of perverted disgusting politicians who are naturally corrupt? Given our gerrymandered states that this diminishes the UFO argument I don't know. I think we've been saying this for a while and I do believe I do believe in life after love UAPs honestly, it's important to pick yourself up after you fall down

absolutely, I I over the years of researching and what I've heard from various sources is that I Think that there is an object somewhere in a hangar But the answer to that question was them basically tap dance and take a little Gregory Heinz numbers They were like we have never heard of such an object We don't know anything about that right, but various other people have come out and said it I was actually listening to a really interesting podcast with Ross Coulter who is a an investigative a journalist that used to work with a 60 minutes Australia, okay, who's gotten really deep into the what they call the program, which is a some there might be

an object Sitting in a hangar somewhere what a bunch of nerds have been looking at it for a long time trying to figure out What the fuck it is, right, but they didn't get into anything that interesting at the congressional and of course whatever you see in the Congressional hearing we don't we just know there's theater because what's done What is actually us truthful is done behind closed doors because they had a closed-door hearing directly after yes public congressional hearing So that's where and that was the problem is that every single time it got to an interesting part of the conversation They would be like that we had to say that for the closed-door hearing and you're like god damn it Show me the meat

Where's the beef either way? Well, we're gonna get to our bees here in a second either way It is fascinated to say the UFO conversation not just on the internet or being sold to you by a man slinging DVDs on the corner But now it is of course being discussed in Congress Mike my question is again Are they just trying to distract us from something else that's much bigger or is this actually on the forefront of national security? We just don't know I think there's a 50-50 here 50-50. I think that there is a this is a

Opportunity window to talk about a what is used to be a highly controversial subject Yes, that is now moved directly into mainstream like how we did when Trump got elected Or it's like it's another thing that's like off to the side and then now because of everything else being so fucking crazy UFOs are now just like in the middle where everybody kind of agrees even at the very end one of the congressmen I Wanted to reach through the screen and grab him because he was like it's just amazing that this is you know of all the Subjects in the world. We finally have some Cross-party agreement here like this whole thing

And it was Republican to Democrats like all agreeing about this like we gotta do something about these phantom lights Well, but isn't that interesting though because to some degree isn't that some of the speculation if UFOs do come down to earth? Wouldn't that be the great uniting factor for humanity? So I suppose that's kind of an interesting assessment. I no longer think that I think I know but I watched one Steven Greer video And I'm holding on to it because it's positive Fuck that HGH infused podiatrist. Oh Oh, yeah, like you don't have feet all of a sudden you don't like podiatry. I'm doing my best to lose them But one thing that did come up in the congressional hearing that was good was it really?

I think that was important was that it was on the books a bunch of guys saying we have at least 11 Incidents yeah, that we don't know what the hell they are multiple incidents, but they are truly rolling back Any idea that it's extraterrestrial. They keep saying straight up. We don't know yeah But which is the most honest thing we're gonna get from the government anyway with yours. You say we don't know what it is We can't eliminate They do the opposite. We're like we can't eliminate anything natural Which is true because we don't really know what the hell it is like there We are now gonna want we don't know whether or not they are crafts

They could be observational orbs from an entirely cyborg world. I think that that's really a concept There could be different types of plasma remember that article that I sent you guys when we were driving to beautiful Indianapolis No, it was great. We had a fantastic night. So thanks to everyone who came out and hung out with Henry and I at the bar Yes, obviously Marcus is doing great. He's still recovering, but he's strong like bull. So we will be okay, but AI oh, yes Artificial intelligence, that's the You have to say it like you're having Intelligence um, that's the alien from within so anyway that we'll see we'll see takes over But anyway, that is a conversation that will continue to go forward

but I want to talk about a story that really is important to me and Really is talk about evolution. You know dinosaurs, right? No, yeah, they were they existed right what yeah And what are they where they say I thought that you're talking about the puppets see of them spillable puppets. No, I'm not talking about Chickens They were dinosaurs once sure and it seems as if they're going back to their brutal roots Especially in Hawaii now who why you think about Hawaii and you say Can you please say it correctly what Hawaii? Wait, who told you that I was in Hawaii did they yell at you for saying Hawaii who?

It's intent. Did they give you the lay? Oh, of course. Oh, that's awesome. I paid for extra for it Oh, isn't that nice? Can I get the blowjob to you get it disgusting Hawaii is an ongoing battle with thousands of Of feral chickens. This is a nightmare scenario because it really does play out It's like would you rather fight a thousand chickens or like one horse that's the size or chicken No, the smaller ones you just rip through them with a weed wacker Well, you think that you could kick them But as we know from the great documentary chicken people chickens are actually quite intelligent in their own kind of stupid I don't know I'm a live way, but in this case they are

Desperate to murder so according to the Associated Press and again I'm so happy they're on it. Mm-hmm. This is a story that needs to be covered They reported in the past two months the city and county of Honolulu has set traps in five areas And they've caught 67 chickens and that has cost $7,000 about a hundred and four dollars per bird Well because what's going on is the chickens are costly because the traps are being vandalized and stolen and now city officials are trying to address The public's desperate pleas to help figure out a cost-effective way now. This is what I would suggest Why are we fighting this war against public chickens? So why can't the chickens walk free?

Well, because what's happened is the chickens since early March they become very aggressive. Are they attacking people? Yes, they've overtaken an entire community. If we can't beat back chickens, what are we going to do against the Russians? What are we going to do against the Chinese? If we can't beat chicken armies? This is the problem speaking of politics a bill was actually introduced in the Hawaii state legislator And it's thought to have been sought to establish a state-funded program to address the feral chickens You know what we need to do? You know what we need? You know what? This is I've never said this before and I finally on the thing It's time Colonel Sanders His great-great-great grandson needs to get down there and he needs to lead our braids armies against the chickens sure when the one the I'm sorry this but the Senate bill is

2195, but it failed to advance That means there's someone There's a chicken lobby in the legislators like no, no, I got I got chicken constituents And if I vote against the chicken, I'm never gonna see this office again That needs to be a license plate a bumper sticker I Went to when we went to Hawaii. Yes, right? Uh-huh. We got off the plane This is one thing I did learn I think I talked about a little bit about this before what we learned was that every single thing that is Pretty and nice and fun about Hawaii right is invasive and it's destroying the natural habitat there

So we were leaving we got we once we landed we got our lays We're like, oh, this is beautiful And then we like we went on to the taxi and we were driving to the hotel and like Natalie because it was like it Was me Eddie Julie Natalie and Natalie was like because you see all these little goats everywhere Natalie was like, oh my god. Look at all these cute little And the taxi drivers like we're supposed to kill them on site They are ones they are destroying the natural habitats here So as many as you can kill you are rewarded by the government now. Come on. What are the goats doing?

I thought goats were good. They say that if you don't have a lawnmower or a Good pair of teeth You're supposed to get the goats to go to your lawn. As a matter of fact, there are there are people that have goats They go to the lawn and they eat up all your grass. Although, you know, we're very bored people I can't imagine that they do a great job. No, it's got to be all over the place And then you get to cover the goat shit exactly It's got to look like the new Joker's hair where it's all just like one one goat really loved one spot Of course. Anyway, according to written testimonies

Um individuals respond into the proposed legislation as I said they said the the chickens were quite aggressive They were overtaking the community and you know what it turns out the defecation is a problem They keep on pooping on stuff. They're toxic and the chicken shit. I believe is talk toxic I might be wrong side stories lpotl the gmail.com. Let me know Can you eat chicken shit? I gotta go to the doctor. God damn it, man. I'm on a chicken shit diet, man God damn it, man. You didn't tell me that before one of my chicken shit diet, man Oh Dang it. So apparently the defecation is obstructing roads and then they're roosting in mango trees

And they're making loud cackling noises from dusk until dawn They're chickens Yeah, I mean, you know, this is what one resident wrote they say many of us work long hours even double shifts And not be able to sleep due to the cackling and crowing of the feral roosters and chickens Has really been an unfair burden and hardship. So I'm just gonna say this if you are in the legislator People over chickens people over I'm sorry people over chickens. I mean, I guess but also like Can't we eat these chickens? You know our all side stories lpotl the gmail.com are some chickens not edible I don't know. I don't know. I think anything is edible

I think if a chicken has a an award and a name and somebody who loves it Don't eat it don't eat it because I think that's a crime. So you're saying if it's a chicken like poet laureate Exactly. It was like buck buck buck buck. You're just like, oh, it's a haiku. Yeah And another resident said it's never been like this before and I'm not sure how they got to this area It might be for food, but then they become All right, I just don't I just don't understand how we're losing a war against chickens I don't know how I just don't know. Well, according to alexander eson He wrote that there are more than a hundred feral chickens and roosters roaming the streets of konuku street

And eson says he has to dodge them all over the roadway and this is what i'm going to say stop Dodging them also chickens Are on the road. You know, we know this folklore. There was a lot of people protesting in minnesota over a lot of chickens There's a lot of chicken lovers out there. So we also want to be very careful and we respect the chicken No, they just need to be turned into food. Well in this case you should be turned into food in this case They're causing quote havoc So anyway, be careful out there and they aren't just messy and loud. They're also destructive They say they even forage under walls and sidewalks and people said this is insane. It needs to be corrected

So community members also say that the feral fowl are becoming a statewide problem And the populations are skyrocketing. I don't know what's going on. We fought the nazi's anyone We need to be able to beat these Cheekins they say it'll only take 50 grand to uh to eradicate them But so you want to be do you want to do it? Do you want to front the money kissle? You front the money? You are the new pullpots of chickens And then your chicken pullpot and then your job is to come in and be like be very immediate We must have a final solution to this chicken problem. Fantastic. Yes. That's exactly what I want to be known for

I'm sure that it won't lead to a whole series of different people being upset with me memes Memes how people learn nowadays is memes. So anyway, if you're in a white be very careful for the feral chicken And I'm also going to say if you accidentally run over one or two you did it. You know, it'll be fine You're a hero honestly the chickens. They I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Although. I'm gonna say this I'm done eating the pig. I've been saying it for a long time. I'm working on it But then do you notice how many things have pigs in it? I cannot let go. I can't oh, yes, it's pork Yeah, I can't let it go. I cannot let it go and I will not unfortunately I I will cohabitate with the pigs and responsibly eat pigs. I am gonna get a pig

I you'd say this just shave you you need I'm a doll She's a dog. Um, no, uh, this next story I want to go into because I have to pee Okay, and I can kind of almost get it in a way. Oh wait a second. Oh, I have a milk. I have a milkshake right here Yeah, uh, but no, honestly, this is uh, this is a salt with this man dead In this yes, it is this and this isn't the worst thing that this man did no, no No, but it's the thing that made the news. Yeah, so this is a manager now. This is at your beloved Favorite chain. This is Arby's now. I'm gonna say it's my favorite chain

I'm gonna say it may have been at one point my favorite chain for those that don't know for those that aren't exactly 40 years old when Arby's came to specifically Stevens Point, Wisconsin It was a fancy restaurant. I'm standing by it I remember I remember when it came to where my parents live in florida and arrived and I remember it being a big deal I remember the five for five the cheesy beef And then Arby's sauce which apparently again is probably just come now just come. Yeah Um, so this is uh, this is interesting. So this man was a manager of an Arby's He is the name of Steven S. Sharp. Uh, he was 29 years young. Yeah, Steven sharp

Of course, that's the name of a manager of the Arby's. Oh, he is also 29 and he became a manager So, you know, he's just like, yeah, you might think this is a summertime job for you for me. This is a career This is my career. Okay. I'm on a track here. Hey, Barry. Yeah five minutes If you if you're leading you can be cleaning. Okay. Okay. Listen, uh, I have to go to the peepee house Which is right next to the milkshake machine. So this is vancouver man stands accused He's being said that he has urinated into a milkshake mix, which then was Served to about 30 to 40 people. Okay. So this is this is my question, Henry This is the one we know about. Oh, yes

Everyone talks about pissing in the pickles. Of course. Take it. I've never done that. I've never done that. Yes But I just wonder how many times it happens I think that it actually shows Just how much of a capacity we have to eat piss and shit and that we if this has probably happened times innumerable And then we have eaten piss and shit and it's actually not as bad for us as we think I think about that too about how like when they all say how calamari then you give you get frozen calamari It's pig asshole, right? Sure. Sure. But what actually that just teaches me is that pig asshole is delicious

Absolutely, and then I love it. Well eat every part of the animal out of respect I talked about this on our serious show when it comes to piss the one thing that it can do if you drink too much of it Hurt your kidneys. Of course because it's going back in. Yes. It's like putting a poop back in Oh, don't do that. Although they do have poop replacement. Uh, which by the way, I think I'm gonna do what's poop replacement It's in order to clean out your colon. They literally put other people's shit inside of you. I believe that's the case Who are you talking to last night? It's a real thing. Did you go to Carmine's? Is this from Carmine's? Did you go to the doctor at Carmine's? No, poop replacement is a very real thing. It is. Oh, no, thank yes. Thank you, Michelle. Fecal transplant. What you should know

What does that even mean? What I should know. What does it say? What should you know? I don't know. It's fun Anyway, we'll finish this and then we'll find out so This isn't so he was also sort of um Uh, this guy was also caught with a bunch of child porn on this phone. So this is like one of his crimes. So this is Steven Sharp Uh, he actually uh, they they raised the bail to 40 grand, which is nice. So I guess that's hard for him to get out on that Um, detective executive, they executed a search warrant on Sharp's phone while investigating all of these child porn allegations That he was already going through, right? Right and they found a video on that phone a mix all this child porn A video of him shooting himself pissing into the milkshake mix going like

Got him again. Got him again. It was a 16 second urination video. I said they sold at least one ice cream float I don't know why that's anything in the article So they're like and you know one of those floats actually that was a little pee pee in there as well Yeah, so the uh, the manager acknowledged to the investigators that yeah I urinated in the milkshake mix bag at least twice. Oh, yeah, dude. And you know what? Arby's they've come out firmly against this they have but not against the child porn No, they seem to say it's a blanket like we don't like that guy. That's a bad manager That's a bad manager. That's right

And he said straight up because I guess sharp was like doing like that's not on my phone Like he was trying to say about the child porn. He was like that's not on my phone. That's not me. That's not me That's not me. But when it comes to the piss video, he said I definitely I'm or he said these are the quotes. I'm almost sure I threw away that pissed in bag of milkshake mix. I don't believe that for one fucking second The whole point of urinating in the milkshake bag is that then you serve it and then you're like Yes, because he was also the only manager in that night He was the only manager and he was the only person working

And then he and then they also believe well, they keep saying that he did it for sexual gratification And I in a way I feel like yes, obviously he was we must have made horny He's been made horny by it in some way shape or form He must have been made horny by it, but I also think that he I don't know. It's more of a supervillain action. It's like poisoning a reservoir I'm not going to give him supervillains. No. No. No. He is a he is a Stupor villain. Yeah, a stupor villain a stupid villain a dumpy villain Definitely somebody who doesn't need to be working at an Arby's or around children or really should be anywhere anywhere

Yeah, I think he's probably should be in a mental hospital It seems as if the man has some severe psychological issues and should probably again Address those and should really not be anywhere near public I don't want to be near anybody But anyway, this is one of the scary things because you just never know what you're going to do That's why I like the restaurants where you can see them making the food Me too because you know, they're not taking their dicks out and coming and shitting all over everything Exactly and I ask all the time. Is there shit in this? Is there piss on this? Because if not, I don't want it

Exactly. I'm here at pissingers. If it I'm here at pissingers because I'm trying to get the piss No, no, no familial to hide. No, nothing. Well, anyway, what does this taste like? It tastes uh sterile Yeah, got it on tape That's all I wanted. It tastes like a milkshake So anyway, be very careful and you know, this is why I also say a little smile goes a long way Because if somebody is having a bad day at work and you say, hey, how's your day going?

Maybe they won't piss in your milkshake. I feel like there is no excuse My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard because it's full of piss What another wholesome story we because honestly right before the show we were like, it's been a really heavy week We really need to do we need to do some silly news and I'm really glad we got to hear Yes, I am really really happy that we did get to hear and take care of yourselves out there We got to get back to loving each other and don't forget. Don't let the algorithm control your mind Yes, the more information comes out about these bots. Please god Don't believe the algorithm. No, because it is just it is designed to destroy your brain

Well, because if you get, you know, five percent of a society you can frack it. You can have a hundred million dollar company It's monitored. It's a great way to monetize frack and crack now. I'm scared. All of a sudden you got a niche market We weren't supposed to talk about fracking. I know In a different sense, but anyway A roast as dark as the night Perfect for fueling the cryptid research and mad ravings required for your podcasting. Don't mind the red eyes He's just trying to warn you of the bridge the bridge Finally from the caffeine addled brains of spring hill jack coffee and last podcast on the left

Bre bring you moth men's red eye blend. Yes Delicious Panama beans go to last podcast merch.com to order yours today I want to talk about this because this gives me hope. Okay, this is a story you sent me at like 2 a.m Of course, but I do love it, but I do love this one. Um, so apparently No, kiss all I don't need to be triggered. Yeah Because you have said Many times in the past how you're scared of groups of small people I've never said all you've said this you don't like small people. You're mad at us. You've said you hate them

You've said kill all of them. You said that once no, that's that you were sleeping the van Oh, I you were sleeping the manner Oh, no, man. I'm not I'm not randy newman. I don't want to kill all little people Um, so this shows that apparently hobbits are coming back Coming back Interesting a mysterious hobbit human species may not be extinct. Whoa This is an expert says they're saying this in a controversial claim there. They are labeling it as at that This is the sightings of a quote-unquote ape man in indonesia

Which may prove that there is a thing that there so there was a tiny version of human that was around the same time as homo sapien Right. There was called homo fluorescence. Oh rules right off the tongue homo fluorescence Fluorescences right now. They said it was a hobbit type creature. My question is though Do we want it? Do we want to use the h word? What is hobbit acceptable? I don't know. We need to get one on the show. Yeah, we need to ask about whether or not But that's slur or not. They actually might just be nice to be paid attention to it. Oh, I do love that But they uh, they average around three foot six

Right. Um, and they lived on which is they would they call the island of flores Which is now part of indonesia, uh, and they think that they live between 60 and 700 thousand years ago. Hold on a second That's a that's a big difference 60,000 to 700 that that's like a large it is that's like a thing. I don't know. I don't know why it's always that big I don't know. Um, and they said that it's a uh, they it's a small brand large-footed Tool maker, which is how you know it's of our branch of humankind. So it used rocks and made them into sharpened objects and things It could fuck great Of course, oh rock flesh light now look at this picture of the homo fluorescence. It's like got great tits, right?

I think that's a man. No, that's a woman. I don't know that might be a woman one Or I don't know, but it's honestly it's kind of it's got hangers. I have a very similar body To this little man, right? Now they're saying the reason why they think that it might be back is that there was this one scientist by the name of Gregory fourth. Okay. Um, he said that what he believes is that there's now been a series of sightings on this island Of little tiny eight people showing up and doing things Oh, I mean, I kind of love a world where there's little hobbits kind of doing stuff in the woods They found a skull and bones of it 19 years ago

That they actually felt was like we think that this might have been pretty recent Um fourth he's been doing anthropological field work since 1984 on the island Um, and he keeps hearing all of these sightings And he wrote about he actually wrote a huge paper about it in 2003 And he said like they all they keep showing up and they are known amongst the locals are saying like yeah They hang out over there. They come in they fuck with our shit Right, they come and grab stuff and then they they disappear Oh, and then we have to go find them stuff because they're troublemakers. Are they really? Well, that's your typical hobbit

I mean, there are a funny bunch and they're a cute bunch But indeed they'd like their mischief because they also enjoy their mead I mean, I would you know what then to breakfast and I would do a thing where I love I would leave them food I would leave them food out and I would say hobbit have some food. They might take it as aggression To leave them food. Oh, yeah, because they might view as weak. No, absolutely not. I would do it But naked all buffed out. Yay. Come here. Let me come on. Let me touch you I know the he he wrote this book So fourth wrote a book called between ape and human and there was an interview he did with a dude

He said that he disposed of a corpse of a creature He said that it could have been a monkey But it also was like it was not fully human. It was somewhere in between He said that it's straight light colored hair on its body a well-formed nose and a stub of a tail Oh, that's cute. It's cute little piggy Yeah, yeah It is kind of fun. I want them to be real. I'm sick of this, you know people we're not doing great We can have another species. Let's add another species. Let's get the UFOs down here

I'm going to live in a hobbit world full of the hildefurc Aliens and give me a sasquatch and give me a Loch Ness while we're at it Well, also, I feel like something that would be really nice to help dispel these people who are anti-evolution Because like one of the main topics is like why did our More version of humanity beat everybody else and I would actually love to get an actual explanation Side stories lpotla gmail.com like exactly how does that go down like because there was many contenders for humankind and for what became main human and There was actually they do believe that there was different stripes of it throughout many different uninhabited areas

They think that there there is still a possibility we could find living versions of these side alleys to modern humankind I love that my understanding was that it's our brain because our skull was able to Grow bigger, but I don't know exactly There was that one book I read that was the idea that when we developed cooking That's what expanded our brain was because then we could consume more calories more often And that that allowed literally us to physically grow and then there's the whole Joe Rogan aspect Where they say like if we us then eat mushrooms is what

elongated our peripheral vision that then once that the 15 percent of the fucking the mushrooms we ate like It expands the very sides of your vision out to actually what that does is put more data into your brain Yeah, but it does matter what data you're consuming because as we learned from the algorithm In fact mentioned you can also get a lot dumber when you're just really open-minded. You know, they also heard though You know what's interesting You know that at night they train soldiers to do this that at night if you have a hard time seeing in a dark area Use your peripheral vision. You actually catch more light From the sides. Well, it seems like you're gonna get shot by the front. I was working in the hotel room last night

I was trying it just like and banging around. Yeah, all right So anyway, the species has not been found on any other island apart from flores. So let's go Amen, I hope there's tiny people and I hope I want one on our patreon series I want to do a fucking I want an interview with the tiny person if you're there. Let's get it. Oh, absolutely I think that sounds great. We're gonna the future is just as wild as we thought it might be. All right. Well speaking of wild catholics Who is crazier than catholics? I don't know no one I actually I think no one. Yeah, so there was a private catholic elementary school and what of course for mother's day What do mothers love flowers? Oh, I thought you're spending getting deep dicked by the neighbor

Yes, I've seen some documentaries and flowers. Oh, oh, yes and flowers So st. Anselm school located in Philly. They had a sale for mother's day. You say, okay, great. It's your faux flowers Sure, I'm a kid. I'm gonna buy my mama flower. She's gonna love it. Yeah, um, it turns out They purchased a flower that contains something a little bit surprising in that it contained beautiful skimpy red Panties. Oh, yes, I guess these were like I don't know where they source them So if you look at it, it looks like a cute like flake

It's a fake flower inside of a plastic tube and then stuck deep inside of the flower as you pull out It's long stringy panties that you just gave gave to One mother named Rachel Tremblay Also, this school it cost five grand a year in tuition. So something, you know So we do like kind of yeah taken some school shaking up the suburbs a little bit. Oh, yeah Because honestly Catholics what is Madonna shown us? Catholicism is horny. It is so and it all is it all it's there's a lot of sexuality there

So, yeah, sure. Yeah, the virgin Mary. She got fucked by God, right? I don't know with technically she was never fucked. That's why she's the virgin Mary But still but then Mary Magdalene on the other side is what kind of it I know that it's all about like you're supposed to like Have place in your heart for people of alternative lifestyles Even though they don't have they don't do Catholics don't actually believe in anything that the We're a part of the actual original teachings of Jesus Christ or whatever fair There is something fun in macabre about the Catholic church drinking the blood eating the bodies

So there are aspects of it that are fun, but of course the the murder and stuff the pedophilia is bad The flayed messiah is the coolest concept you walk in and him like Like screaming and agony with the blood in he's got fucking you see is like the v Where it's huge cock is underneath his tunic and shit. Just once I would like to see a fat Jesus Just fucking one time. Can we see a fat fucking Jesus? Jesus was probably closer to the homo flurry and census than anything else He was probably like a little tiny man. Yeah, so Rachel Tremblay Her daughter says hey mommy, I got you a flower and then Rachel's like thank you. I better be panties She opens it and it indeed had panties in it. So the administration says, oh, no, this was an error

And I don't think they didn't even believe in birth control when they want there to go these sexual fucking panties out there so that everybody's wants to have sex and then and well Uh, maybe panties will stop to come. I think they want them all nude all the time Um, so uh, it was said that the administration is going to quote take steps to prevent further recurrence We're gonna really look at these How did you do it in the first place? So we're just gonna really take a look at what kind of panties we're selling and make sure they've got full coverage of the vagina hole But they say the spokesperson said it's an unfortunate mistake and

Apologizes deeply for the embarrassment and discomfort that it was caused. But you know what I say shake it up It is not um It's not because you discomfort then you're not an adult. You're just it's it's underwear It's underwear, you know, and yeah, and honestly, I'm looking at this underwear. It doesn't honestly you can't fuck through it You can't eat it. It's honestly. It's just underwear. It really is. So um, anyway, so she said, oh my he said Oh my god, I see it already and then that's hilarious. So there you go. So it's not really a crime It's just more of a fun little story here. But again, we're trying to keep it a little lighter today Yeah, I mean, I don't think that's a crime. No, how is this a crime?

Yeah, one one viewer jokes. I'm so mad. My daughter didn't get me one didn't have that my 2022 bingo curd Little ruffle. It's now just Whatever why do people comment ever why do people comment on things? Anyway, um So yeah, that's that story. That's the end of that story and there really is If I it's better than a pulling out a big dildo. Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, it's better than a bunch of child pornography Yeah, it's panties. It's panties. So anyway, where the panties have fun with it Hey, what's up everyone? How you doing ben kissle here with henry sabrowski? Yeah, it's me, man. Yeah, bro. Henry sabrowski is smoking some of that sweet last podcast on the left

Go out there and purchase yourself some. I hope you enjoy it. We have sativa We have indica and we have a hybrid and I have to tell you for my personal experience. They are wonderful Super tasty live resin. You really get the delicious Weedy taste which is what I like and three different experiences you go to your local vape store and get it Absolutely. Thank you all so much for supporting the show. We absolutely love you I can't wait to see on the road and get that vape put it in your brain and have a good time And if you want to set your favorite weed store, give them a call and ask for them by name last podcast on the left It's weed. Hail yourselves everyone. Hail Satan

Well, I believe the piss I just took went out to about 50 people. That's fantastic Of course, you had to throw it out the window. It's in the splash zone Be very careful when you're here in new york city. So so far we've learned today UFOs are real Yes, hobbits are real. Yes, don't drink milkshakes. Don't and flowers have panties in them What an episode thus far chickens are the enemy. Oh and chickens are the enemy. I mean, you know, it's tough to say It's tough to say. I my thing too. I'm still gonna go back to this chicken things like technically that's free food Yeah, that's true. This was new york People be eating those chickens. I agree with that. Well, let's see. Do we want to move?

Do we want to do an exorcism story? Well, no, I want to do this story. Okay. Let's do that story This comes from our friends over at the singular 40 and I love this is a style of Sighting like anomalous phenomena that I love because who knows because I think what's important How much is our imagination inform? The bullshit that we see right and like can you really because that's what we talk about now, right? Like how back in the day when people saw what we now see as greys or reptilians I saw them as elves So many of these are things that like we help complete

Whatever the entity it's on the other side, but we make it what we want to see in it, right, right, right? So this is really cool when you look up in the clouds and you see rush Limbaugh smoking a cigar Isn't that exciting when you know it would be down below Now this is a story about a woman seeing a six foot tall bipedal rabbit on Easter now a lot of it's got to do with the fact that like it was Easter, but again Oh, no, was it a person in an Easter costume a person in a bunny costume? Let's say kissle. Yeah, sure. Okay. There's many ways It's many ways that it could not be a giant rabbit. Sure. Okay. It could be anything but a giant rabbit Sure, but but it could be a giant rabbit giant rabbit. Yeah, so this is there comes this woman. Her name is fucking Sharon

Um, she's fucking Sharon Sharon Sharon's a good name. Why not? She was about eight years old Uh, and then she said she woke up. It was Easter and there's a child and she saw a six foot tall white bipedal rabbit. Okay, hold on a second. She's eight years old I remember when I was young and I saw a Beethoven dog big old st. Bernard. Yes in my imagination It's 15 feet tall. Look how big a rabbit can get if she's actually eight years old She just saw a giant rabbit, but she's so tiny the rabbit looks like it's six feet tall Let's hold the door open to imagination for a second. Okay. Let's hold just hold for a single Second, forget that we're locked in to this terrestrial bullshit. Okay. I don't mean to yell. I didn't know. Was I yelling?

They're Flemish. I just wouldn't read. I just saw it read. No, I know. I saw it. Yeah. Um, so this was the people So this is what she wrote It was just after stand-up Easter morning 1961 or 1962. My name's Sharon A little north at Northwestern University in Illinois I was eight or nine years old and I know that there were two Easter bunnies called mom and dad Oh, that's very nice. I never liked mornings But I woke up that morning just as it gets started to get light See Sharon's my kind of kid some kids love the mornings, but I remember one of my first memories

I was four years old. I woke up and I was like, I gotta do this every freaking day. How horrible I got to check out the Easter baskets. Yeah, right. They were in the coffee table in the den I sat on the couch. She's smoking a cigar while she's doing this. I'm just doing Chicago You know I sat on the couch and began inspecting the baskets, right when I saw something unusual in our backyard I could hardly miss it because it was in direct line of sight with the baskets And it was big. Okay big next to the baskets. It was a six foot tall white Bay pedal rabbit wearing a black vest embroidered with little glass beads of all colors

All right, hold on a second door to imagine. I am it's an eight-year-old. I get it But come now isn't it now? Okay. How does she know it's six feet tall? Also, how does an eight-year-old know the term by pedal? I watch sports and ESPN. I see what they do I know I can jump It was about 15 feet from the house facing away from it. So I saw it in profile It was standing still next door seven foot tall bruce bruce tree about 25 to 30 feet away from me That's what she could tell she wow. She really understands distance and height. This woman is great. She's a surveyor She's born umpire. Yes, indeed

Maybe half a minute long enough for me to get a good look at it It never looked in my direction. It took a short step before it hopped like a kangaroo but with shorter hops And he was double the speed of the last and the rabbit quickly became a white and black blur Well and vanish before I could have hit the back fence. Okay. Well interesting. It is possible now again Either she saw the easter bunny wearing his little easter outfit Although then it does make easter bunny sentient to the point. He knows he's wearing no pants and at that point He's also a felon. Oh, yeah, it is possible that she saw the german giant rabbit or the cunty

It descends from the cunty rabbit the cunty c-o-n-t-i cunty um It descends from the larger Flemish giant. So perhaps she did see something like that They say they have thick heavy bones large broad heads and long straight ears. Oh, yes Yeah, and they're bred for meat. I like this though. Everybody's first priority Everybody's first priority was the easter basket opening ceremony, right? And that's when I told my whole family what I saw who loved it, especially my sister was three or four years old I have never been shy about telling folks about what I saw that Easter morning. I know what I saw

I know what I saw right and from the very start of the day now. I'm not some kind of lone ranger I've heard other encounters with giant bunnies be it easter or not It is my only anomalous experience except at one time I died on the surges table and I saw my grandfather Well, you know, she's been through a lot. She's been through a lot I I mean, she's obviously a brilliant eight-year-old to know all these terms. I mean, I know she's now older But obviously she does know what she saw. She does have eyes like Troy Aikman. I do good quarterback Feel general good announcer as well. I'm a I'm a Packers fan. So don't kill me

But you know, it is what it is the facts of the facts She may truly have seen a Flemish giant because they have a glossy coat that requires a little grimy They have a wide variety of coat colors from black light gray dark gray to white sandy blue or fawn So maybe yes, and what's the difference? I mean, what what does it matter? I don't know also the easter bunny I think it's probably I'm going to go out on the limb here and while I have we did open the door to imagination And it was fun to be in that world It was fun to be in there for a little while just a little while

But it was definitely peeping tom in an easter bunny out of it looking at your family Uh, and that's what that was. It was a man who should not have been in your backyard In and the reason why he busted out of there was because he was probably Self-pleasuring while he was looking at your family just thinking about how Fucking hot it was that he was destroying this entire holiday using the pagan symbols Of the real holiday and not the fake Phantom rising of the desert wizard. I think you're might gonna you you might get a little blowback from the furry community It's not always sexual. No, you're right. Sometimes it's not sometimes the inside of their costume isn't just full of semen

We've had this drilled into our minds because they have how many letters sometimes it is that's the thing too furries You have to remember that too, right because sometimes it is they do fuck on those costumes And you know that for a fact, but yes, I will Feel free 35 percent of the time. It's just fun. Absolutely. All right. Is it time for here of the week place? Let's do it So this is actually gonna be because of Henry's request. I'm not gonna do an animal I'm just saying it's been a hard week Society's in a tough place It might be nice for them to see a human doing well and not just like, you know, it's great wind

You know, it's fucking great. You've never heard of this drink called sprite It's incredible Well, wind is great. You wait until next week So kasey white and vicky white, of course kasey white was the felon That escaped with vicky white. The corrections officer vicky white is now deceased But there was a man who helped find them and people are saying hey, man Give car wash james the reward money for locating alabama fugitives Now the man's nickname is car wash james and this is why

I love the quilt of america and the world because every small town has car wash james, uh, you know, like Shoe shoe Lloyd. You know for what you do that one time. I had that crazy shoe Like that's the whole thing and you remember it forever Or it's like those are the type of towns that if you shit your pants one time your whole family line is destroyed Oh my god. Yeah, you're just the shitty stevensons and it's the rest of your life. Oh, yes But now of course with the internet it follows. Oh, yeah, so the chase for kasey white and vicky white Uh in evansville seemed to start at wine box car wash after manager james stinson He got a weird feeling and I trust the car wash people because they know when they see something dirty

I also feel like it's kind of like the way A fortune teller gets good at it right where you start to know how to read people I bet you you could learn a lot about a person about how they keep the inside of their car Absolutely What kind of snacks they enjoy if they live in said car if it's filled with child pornography arrest them So james stinson he says I got a weird feeling here Uh, the truck was abandoned on this property eight minutes. All it took was eight minutes He says that's how long kasey white was at stinson's car wash hiding their ford f-150 in plain sight

What was the where were they hiding from? Well because they were on the lamb. Oh, remember this is They're trying to grant that thought oh, this is yes, that's right This is where they were trying to like go to a car wash and pretend like that was gonna get your stars down Well, it's clean now, but they're looking for guys with dirty cars. He then gets into a Cadillac driven by vicki white And leaves the vehicle behind stinson saw it all go down on his security footage After noticing the car had stuck around overnight He alerted the police and that was why the us marshals were able to arrest Uh, kasey and obviously it didn't end so well for vicki. So the us marshals they announced a $10,000 award

And I believe that this man deserves that award and it would be life changing give him the money Absolutely, and also governor kiv Real piece of shit announced her own reward for the return For $5,000 in total there was $25,000 for of reward money Yes for anyone that could lead authorities to kasey white and vicki white and god damn it car wash james He did it. So I believe it work. He deserves not just be here of the week He deserves $25,000 because he helped bring fugitives to justice because honestly, who knows It's likely that other people could have been killed

Well, if you do because I uh, you know, I've read a little bit about the idea of with the concept of Suicidality because we know that vicki white committed suicide when she was there We're like when they got when their car flipped kasey white was like just take me back to jail vicki white blew her brains out Right, but suicidality is different than depression in a way because it's homicidal Right, because when you commit suicide, you literally kill the universe you kill everything. So I could see her Going on to shoot some people as well Like I think that both of them could have went on to do some tandem violence because that juicy was too pussy All right car wash shames

Give the man his money and you're also hero of the week. Good work. Congrats. Get that fucking cash money Not an animal. Also, there was a uh b-sides here of the week cats remember each other's names Yes, let's do some listener emails listener emails, please No, we asked the question last week of like, how does it go down when a ceo gets Seduced yes, because I mean, how does it happen? I love this. So this is a great email I worked as a ceo for eight and a half years at a county detention center We train the officers and what we call downing the duck Okay, hold on downing the downing the duck okay where the inmate picks a weaker officer and begins to befriend them

Right because if you look at vicki white, yeah You thought she was cute. I think that's because you're coming from a horny place. Okay. No, I said for a correction I got the funniest thing is I got all these dms from people be like I was never gonna message you but the fact that you said she was pretty it gave me confidence I was like, no, I'm just saying for a corrections officer in her 50s. She could have been worse. Yeah, of course, of course, right So the end goal of these guys is always to gain some kind of benefit The targets are almost always women with low self-esteem The male inmate will then start with small conversations with schmoov and two personal conversations

The attempt to gain the officer's trust sometimes doing small favors for the officer What extra cleaning controlling other inmates? So it's that type of thing you have like an inmate like situation There's like a conflict and then this guy like Clayton white I but it was kaden kasey white It's that shit or he doesn't be like, let me talk to him. I'll tell I'll figure this out I'll bring peace to the block that type of shit, right? Right, eventually the inmate will start hitting on the officer saying things like how pretty she is or how hard she works How well she'd he'd treat her if she was his girl, right? If I didn't kill to get in here, right?

From here, they'll start sexual conversations talking about being in a relationship I can see that like that kind of happens to where you start to float it Like you start to get sexy with it. You start to like ramp it up and then there's an heat You can't do anything because you're behind bars, right? Um, most of the time the goal is to get the goal is to get some kind of contraband brought in, right? But in the case of vicki white, I assume the goal was to escape as he had nothing else to lose So why not serve in life? I wouldn't be surprised to learn that they had been around each other for at least a year Uh before this escape. Well, it was he was arrested in 2020

Yeah, so it was that period of time that they were together and since he was on trial for murder He was probably there in county for some time. Just wanted to give you guys some some professional insight That's really interesting, right? Like lonely that they have to think about it even with them them as as co's They have to prepare for this. I mean, there's still just people. Oh, yes And I guess there were lonely a lot of lonely people out there very very lonely Just be careful who you fall in love with the weird thing is My main indicator is that if they've committed homicide On the same type of person that you are

You should probably leave it alone. Yeah, you probably should but now interesting This is a question that I brought up last week and again. I fucking love our listeners Because we've got a different stripe of so many different knowledge bases and I love it This is an in response to your query about the usable area carrying capacity of your rectum and intestines fantastic and They said we weren't that far off. Whoo. Haha. You fuckers. That's good for us. Let me feel right. Oh, yeah Right as a former teacher of classical languages ancient medicine and an internal student of school of hard knocks your coverage of this case of Hibristophilia And finally gave me good reason to write in fantastic. So most Reacher says that weight not height is a good indicator of intestine length

Right one paper sites an average of four feet of variance four feet Over an average of 26 intestinal feet Taking from an example the sample of a hundred male and a hundred female cadavers. Okay, right If you're playing with rectal foreign bodies that exceed the average four to five inch human rectum You risk perforation due to the shape of the anal junction that follows because of the folds of the intestines Why do I have to be packed inside of you? Why are they making this all scientific but big but whole how do me come? You see the rectum proper is an excellent prison wallet because it shares it is what it's a name It's literally what it's called in latin, which means straight upright

This term which comes from observing the straighter rectums of dissected animals is the roman physician Gailen's own translation of the greek term enteron meaning straight gut seriously. Thank you for the email This is the most intense one. I think we've had in a while So as soon as you get to the end of the upright rectal cavity, right? Your sigmoid colon loops around and up like a sink drain trap This is a bit stretchy allowing it to balloon and let a fart pass without you shitting yourself Right, but also pass solid waste as it comes the elasticity gives you some breathing room up there for some surprisingly large objects Put a snorkel in there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah for these objects

They need to become lodged up there in that muscular gut trap. That's how they get stuck, right? I see so they go behind the flap. Yes, they go behind the flap and they get stuck, right? Okay, but it is really interesting Ben you would probably have more intestines Just based on correlating size and weight But henry your estimation of a larger belly Meaning that I have more intestines than Natalie. It's also probably not entirely off. Okay So I do have more intestines than I want so we're full of shit Yes, god damn it. That's fucking awesome. Awesome. Very interesting. Um, and yeah, do you have time for one more?

Yeah, just one last moment. It's our show buddy. You can do whatever you want ghost pedophile Ah, I'm a medium which is different from a psychic in the sense that I don't know the future I just see and hear dead people everywhere. I go fantastic I don't make a living doing this but my friends who know what I can hear and see Will sometimes ask me to give them readings and a medium is just is perfect because it's not a small Or large absolutely It was just on such an occasion that I found myself at a friend's house listening to their dead bulgarian mother Scream at me about charlie the pedophile

Your mother keeps saying That charlie's a pedophile and you need to cut him out of your life. I told her friend His eye threw wide and his hand went to his mouth Did you say charlie? Huh, he asked me in a little noid and I answered. Yeah, why do you hang out with a pedophile? It's gross. It's it's weird He went on to tell me that charlie was his imaginary friend when he was a child At the age of four drop dead fred. Yes That is weird that movie's weird too at the age of four the family moved into a new home

And that was when charlie showed up his mother dismissed it as a regular old imaginary friend But apparently when his mother died she went to visit her son and saw that charlie was a dead man Who had attached himself to her son as a child get out of here? This is what she's saying that she talked to her mother her dead mother his dead mother while he's sitting there Okay, and a dead mother screamed at me to give her son an exorcism while charlie tried to convince me that his love for My friend was more than romantic love or mind me of the old man who's in love with chris on family guy Oh, yeah, she just watched all this happen all these ghost pedophiles in the ghost world. Oh my god. That's gonna be very difficult That's very very difficult. Okay. Well protect your kids from even afterlife entities. I suppose you have to I guess

Honestly and that shows that a mother's love doesn't dive in with the physical death That's a fantastic point And it's like my mom kind of even says it in a way that almost when my mom says it kind of feels like vengeance Yeah, you think she's gonna haunt you a little bit. Oh, I know she will yeah She says so much I live every day knowing for a fact that my mother actually sort of looks forward to death Because then she can come visit me more than ever I know and then she can sit and she can Love me from afar in a choking way. Yeah, I will feel what they say like, you know, hold like I imagine my mom's a ghost

It'll be the thing where I feel her like a um like a night terror Where I'll feel her her bosom pressing on me while I'm sleeping, right? I feel her pressure of her love being like are you sleeping? Oh, I'm dead. Did you know I'm dead Harry Thomas? And she'll just laugh I don't have to see you father here I can go wherever I want What I'm understanding is the afterlife apparently we don't get to break all the chains that we've had in this life So I think that she's gonna be with them then too

I think my mom would actually astral travel to go see tom selec change his underwear Oh, yeah, my mom loves some tom selec. Hey tom selec. Does the curtain match the drapes just a little mustache above his cock All right, that's good. Thank you all so much for listening hang in there. We are gonna get through this time Together, um, all right everyone hail yourselves. Hail Satan look who's delicious. Hail me fuckers Absolutely, and we'll see you fucking next week. We got more pirates this week. You're gonna fucking choke on these pirates man Pirate comm already your hole. I love that your experience become just one. I'll enjoy it five. I'll enjoy it and I'll eat it That was flipped. I'll eat it. Oh, yeah And I'll eat it now. I'll enjoy it

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