Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Loch Ness Catfish

Episode Date: July 1, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a suspected sex trafficking house is burned in Milwaukee, a leech crawls inside a man's dick, has the Loch Ness Monster been found?, and MUCH MORE.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. There's not a lot like fun going on. What do you mean? Right. Those in terms of it just it's difficult to have fun in America right now. That's because you haven't branded it the fundemic. It's all about branding Henry. It's a pandemic. Yeah. Do you see feel my mouth just fundemic. Fundemic. Fundemic. What do you mean? I can't go outside. Fundemic. Wow. If you change it like that you say I can't go outside and it's great. But you know what I've really discovered? Rediscovered. Uh-huh. It's a pure unadulterated love for the BLT. The bacon lettuce and tomato.

Really? I am now up to. I'm not going to exaggerate. Wow. Three or four BLTs a week. This is actually quite stunning news because I always thought the BLT was a skeleton of a sandwich. I don't think the bacon is enough of a protein. The tomato overwhelms the whole damn thing. You're basically just eating mayonnaise. You're doing it completely wrong. Okay. You're a rub. You're an idiot. Your brain needs to be replaced. You need to go to fucking sandwich. Rehab my friend. Wow. Because the BLT is just so much more than that. If you can get the thick cut bacon, right? Get the thick cut bacon. Learn to cook it in a cast iron skillet. You cook it slower. So it doesn't get as thin, but it gets just as crunchy. You get beef steak, tomatoes, right?

Are those things? You get a long slice, right? You get a good thing there. Good crisp romaine. And my new thing is get a seeded bread and not a seeded bread. Not like it's covered and come. Right. Of course. I mean a bread with seeds in it. Something that can stand up to all of the various crunch factors inside of the sandwich where you get and then I don't currently have a toaster because it exploded. Well, that'll happen. So yes, you don't want to go to the organic store that's so organic. All of their bread is covered and come because that just becomes disgusting. I don't know though, Henry, it's controversial. The pigs are coming back in a big way. They're as smart as dogs. People are actively saving the pigs, going to the slaughterhouses,

giving them little kisses on the way to getting butchered because they're cute, Henry. So I don't, maybe you should do turkey bacon. Maybe the ones that we should choose are the ones we're in little badges. You know what I'm saying? Maybe they go down the line or maybe we find a bunch of rapist pigs. Well, those are the ones that we find up. We put a, we put a couple attractive female pigs in a pen with a bunch of male pigs. So the ones that don't get on their little pig knee and propose before making love to the other pig, we take the other ones, the more rambunctious, the horribly rambunctious pigs. And those are the ones we make bacon out of. But until they learn how to shoot guns, they're going to be bacon. They just have, they don't have thumbs, which really hurts. I

think we should do dolphins, lettuce and tomatoes. If you're going by that standard, the sexual assaults handle in the standard in the animal kingdom. It's the DLT dolphin lettuce and tomato. Serve it to me. I'll eat it. I love it. Welcome to side stories, everyone. I am Ben hanging out with the recently changed Henry Zabrowski devolving in his culinary taste, going to the BLT, the sandwich that mothers make and fathers make their children when they're all out of meat. So there we go. It's not devolving. I am just saying this is how boring quarantine life can get that I open our show just because I, to be completely honest, I was just thinking about a BLT because I ran out of material for it. Right. And that's what I call the bacon, tomato, tomato lettuce. I ran out of my

BLT bullets earlier today and I wish I could get them back. And the real key is to mix the mayonnaise with some very spicy Dijon. Now this is the question for you because how white are you? Do you take a knife to spread the mayonnaise or do you use a spoon? The real whites use a spoon. You get a lot of supple mayonnaise. You dollop it and then you flatten it out with the bottom of the spoon. Do you do it like that? Of course I do. Look at me. Look, have you seen my knees? Yes, of course I do. But what I'll do is I take a spoon and maybe this is a lot to deal with at the very top of the show is I will scoop the mayonnaise out with the spoon and I put it on the thing, spread one layer of mayonnaise, suck the spoon dry. You are so gross, dude. Put it into

the mustard. I would rather... And then I put the mustard on top of it. The story from last week's episode where the man ate his own dookie and flesh as he scooped it out of his body is less disgusting than what you just said. I'm saving utensils in the kitchen. You're doing something. You're doing something. All right, we got some fun stories, some weird stories, and some really weird, interesting, like what the hell is going on stories this week? This country is flipping upside down right now. There is, I mean, obviously we are locked inside, but that is not helping the world from endlessly churning. One thing is, we talked a little bit in various levels about the fireworks going off in major cities, and nobody has any fucking clue. They cannot get to the bottom

of it. There are some people just saying it's normal human behavior from being trapped inside for months. It's literally a firing signal of people getting fireworks and shooting them up into the sky to say like, hey, I'm here, I exist. There's other people that are saying that they are being spread by the police as a sort of scyop to keep people agitated and upset in order to drive down the protests. But it seems like the protests themselves have kind of, they are rolling and going, but they don't need to be shut down. I don't think I think that it's now become a part of the American fabric. Right. But I wonder what's going on with this shit, because no one knows anything that's going on. I haven't heard anything else, because I had some people are saying they've seen

them being dropped out of vans. There's some people saying it's really high, powerful, like high class, super expensive fireworks that are people are shooting off, not just M80s. Dude, the fireworks shows are pretty great on Juneteenth. As a matter of fact, I had a chance to participate. I had, I had a spa club and they had all these cool ass fireworks and it was awesome. And, you know, it did scare Puffin a little bit, but he was brave. So I think for the most part, it is people, but without a doubt they're, they're very well, could be some NYPD, specifically here in New York, obviously interaction, because we've seen videos of police blaring their sirens throughout the evening, driving very slowly. There's something going on without a doubt. There's footage of cops

also shooting off fireworks. And to be honest, we, my cop family, we did have a bunch of high class fireworks shooting them off in their neighborhood, but that was because my father used to take them from the evidence table and he used to partner with the firemen down the street. But it was more of a street thing than of a protest smattering process. How else are they going to know your white trash unless you have a firework show right outside of your queen's home with your dad in his underwear, sipping a beer, just being like, oh, oh, that's nice. That's nice. That's nice. Look at this one. This one right here. You can actually really blow your fucking hand off of one of these. He loves to do that. He loved the day or everyone. So that's just one,

that's one thing that's just floating out there that God knows what the fuck's going on. And then there's this other story that is just coming out right now that it's about this. It's a home in Milwaukee, this house in Milwaukee. On June 23rd, it burnt down after a crowd of people suspected that there was sex trafficking coming out of this house. Now this is, this is a, I'm going to use the term quagmire. It really is a quagmire. No, not the problematic character from Family Guy. The situation that is completely out of hand in my home state of Wisconsin, Milwaukee, where I went to school. Milwaukee is a powder keg of tension, racial tension, police tension, economic tension. It has been for a long time. This home that people assumed or believed to be a pedophile ring,

and it, what seems to be for good reason, there was young girls in there, 14, 13, 15. They didn't know. 27 calls have happened to the home over the last, I'm going to say like different, how many years? Over a series of months, I believe. It was from 2020 to 2017. All sorts of shit. People looking for the, like searching for welfare of a citizen, people saying that there was property damage, theft, just gunshots happen from inside of it. I mean, this is, it's a fucked up place. Someone even put up the real estate listing of the house. And if you look inside of it, it is going for, not anymore. They burned it down. Either the protesters or the cops did. Someone burnt the fuck down. We don't know. It went for $42,000. You can buy, you can buy your own

sex trafficking hub for $42,000. Is that only marketing it? That's, I guess so. It's got two beds, two beds. Hey, look at that. Just enough to keep 10 children. So these people in Milwaukee, because they're good people, they channeled their inner nightmare on Elm Street. They channeled their inner town, small town vigilanteism. They said, we're going to go stop the pedophile ring just as they did to Freddie. It ended up burning down, but we had two coinciding situations where there was a protest of the pedophile potential pedophile ring in the house. And then it turned to a protest of the police. When the police arrived to be like, what the hell is going on with this huge crowd? Well, they definitely didn't help. And we've talked about the less dead again and again and again.

They've been talking about no one's been reporting how many missing kids going on in their neighborhood because it comes from a black neighborhood. So they've been saying, just like in Jeffrey Dahmer's day, it's like the shit has not changed at all, that people are just not report, they're not getting the proper police coverage that they're supposed to get. There's a lot of mistries. Looking for these two missing teenagers on their own. A lot of mistrust. So we have the crowd, we have the potential pedophile ring house. Now we have the crowd clashing with the police. And in the middle of all of this, we have three shots fired, 14, two 14 year olds were shot at a 24 year old were shot within the home. So it was just what the hell is going on here. And

there's footage of people being let out of there. Some sort of either arrests or rescues were rescued were made. They believe that the two missing 14 year olds that they were searching for have been found. Yes, that was a 13 year old. Yes. And so whatever the hell was going on in the house, they have now burnt it down. Or now that's another day. That's another big, a wharf as they because the police are saying that the protesters burnt the house down. And the protest are saying the police helped burnt it down. So who knows, it's just another just murky ass situation that simply comes from the fact that they can't communicate and take care of their own name, that the police can't take care of their own neighborhoods, which is something that is just,

it's just insane. I don't know what the hell is going on the story, but that's just details pending. This is according to Alfonso Morales, the Milwaukee police chief, he said, we had to go out there and now do a rescue in the middle of an angry crowd. So he acknowledged that this was a rescue mission. This was like the cops are going in there straight up like Liam Neeson like, where's my daughter? Like they were doing a rescue mission. He goes on to say, it took a crowd to build for them to get there. Yeah, he goes on to say this whole chain of events could have been avoided. And my heart goes out to the people who live in this community. We investigate the information that is given to us. We can't allow an unruly crowd to determine

what the investigation is. He goes on to say what you had today is vigilanteism. You had people take the law into their own hands and run off of information that he has that has not yet been proven. We need to investigate that. That's what the police are here for. But it seems like the police with just those, those few quotes from Morales, they call it a rescue mission. They call them vigilantes. So that seems to me like something else, but it seems like they might know something's real freaking sketchy is going on in this house. Yes, but it also, you know, when it comes down to people wouldn't have to be vigilantes is that they were taking care of their jobs of being police officers. And we know that for a fact, and it's very, very difficult. It is,

this is, but we will get to more of this story as more details come out. Yep. He concluded saying, we have to be allowed to conduct our investigation, not chase a crowd and take that information from that crowd to be factual. So hopefully we can actually figure out what the hell happened. Was this truly a stop along the road? It's in the middle of the country. Is this part of, I don't want to sound conspiratorial, but at the end of the day, there is a massive pedophile ring somewhere. These children show up at parties from somewhere. I don't fucking know, man. I mean, we've, we talked about pizza gate in the past and how it was an unnecessary distraction from the real stories, Jeffrey Epstein's fucking end,

whatever the fuck happened to him, right? Whether he was murdered or allowed to commit suicide, whatever happened in that whole story is a complete total cluster fuck. He was a central hub of it. We have all of these people. You got Don Cheadle in there. Whoa, Don Cheadle. He's, uh, he just went on air. He went on air fuck one once. Oh, you know, you look at the list. There was a lot of names on there, a lot of names. And I don't know what Don Cheadle do it, but I'm going to say, I don't want to, I need Don Cheadle. I need him to be good. He's your, he's your celebrity break. Like everyone has like, if I hear something about Tom Hanks, my entire belief in the human, in the human spirit is shattered. And actually Tom Hanks,

I think is the universal one. I only suspect Tom Hanks because of that. I will not even allow you to smear the good name of Tom Hanks, even in theory, even in jest. It's just, we're, this is, we are really uncovering a lot of shit during this time period. It's like the fucking trash can lid of this country is coming up and we're seeing all the, all the old stinky come covered socks, come alive at the bottom of it. I wonder if this is something that's been going on since the dawn of time in this country, or if this is something that literally is a product of a certain generation. It seems like I don't want to, I'm not saying all boomers or pedophiles. I would never cast a wide net like that, but do you know, my father loved milfs? Yes. I know he loved.

And he's passed it down to me. He passed it down to me. Very strange fetish. I will be with you, but you don't have a kid. It's a very strange thing. That's how we found my mom. My mom was, my mom was with a woman with a child. Do you want to do that? He fell in love with, he fell in love with her and he gave me that passion as well. I found the perfect gal. She has a child. That's disgusting, sir. Or do you think that, I mean, honestly, this whole thing, because it seems like this is now organized. There has to be a series of chains. There has to be a series of different handlers. You know, I mean, it's, it's human smuggling for Christ's sake. Yes. And we have it here. We had a story here in Staten Island where a girl was drugged and then raped

multiple times. They kept her drugged for a series of days. She ended up being able to escape. We know this happens. And I'm just wondering if this house, if this house was ordered to be burnt down to get rid of evidence or whatever it is, it's just very bizarre. It's very bizarre. And it just gets into the point where how much smoke or is there going to be before we say that there's a fire? Like it just, there's so, there's so many of these weird, but it's about making those connections. Right. Is that how do you make a connection saying that there is an actual organized network? Or is it a bunch of fun little franchises all popping up everywhere, just doing whatever it is? But you know, my, my true belief system is that there was never, there was flares of the quote,

unquote, Illuminati. Like this idea, there was flares of it. There was the real Bavarian Illuminati. There were secret schools back in the day. They kind of come up and down in terms of revelance as the years go. But I really think a lot of it's got to do with literature that came out about the Illuminati early on, and then billionaires and millionaires and celebrities and all these people essentially play acting, the content about the Illuminati and therefore making it real. Like they are making the trappings of the Illuminati real by acting like that. When Bezos becomes a trillionaire, things are going to have a different tenor around him. What is his life? He, how does he view himself? He must definitely view himself as separate from human beings, right? At some point,

you begin to believe that this money, this money is going to make you somebody far superior. That's what this is all about. They just view as a bunch of cogs of the machine, juice and shit for them, and eventually they're going to leave our dying planet on these giant ships. The SpaceX stuff going up is just a dry run to show that they can leave anytime they want. But as I've said before, they got nothing up there. I think they're going to send the poor people up. They're going to send you and I up there because what are we going to do? Kick rocks on Mars? There ain't nothing to do. It's not going to be like Total Recall. There's not going to be three breasted sex workers. There's not going to be cool bars yet. It's just going to be a vast wasteland and it'll be sad.

If they want to keep, they want to keep their worker bees happy, there will be three bested people up there. I know. It comes down to it. Give me again, pitch me, sell me on my permanent stasis on Mars. Make me convinced to be there. We can run a comedy club on Mars. Sure. Oh my God. I can't wait for, I don't even know. What's the name of a muffled yucks? I have no idea what the name of comedy clubs are. Muffled yucks sounds like a comedy club at one of these pedophile ring complexes. But you know, it is the foster care system. That's as far as systemic child peddling. Oftentimes the foster care system, you know, these kids go missing within the system and where do they end up? Perhaps on these planes with billionaires going to an island

to be mistreated and treated horribly. So there's a lot, a lot of stuff going on and we will continue to follow it. If I had a fucking child and I don't have, we're not going to have a child, but if I did have a child, that child would be fucking, it sounds terrible, but just chaining home. Well, you can't do that. I would just keep safe. That's what the guy did. I just have a chain of me. You can't just chain it to the house. I know. That is literally what they do to kids who are being sex trafficked. But I'd be doing it fun. I'd be having fun with it and I'd be saying this is for their own good. I know. Again, that sounds like Ariel Castro. Well, it still all sounds bad. It really does. That's why Wendy doesn't go to the dog park anymore. That's because there's a

fundemic going on. Oh, forgot. It's a fundemic. Well, Henry, do you want to hear a fun story? Yes, I do. Please let it be fun. Please don't say that you want to hear a fun story and then have it be like something awful. Well, last week, you mentioned in an email that they don't want you talking about sounding anymore. Apparently people are very sensitive. They're just, they're done with it. They're done with it. Well, I guess this is sounding adjacent. This is from the mirror, which is like my favorite little rag over there in the UK. The headline reads, leech crawls inside elderly man's penis and drinks pint of blood. So the leech went to a little human bar. I guess the entrance is the penis and then it sat down,

pulled up a chair and drank a pint of blood. Hey, hey, put me a pint. That's got it. Oh, good Lord. Just have a good old fashioned. I like the notes, the pennies in there. It's very, it's very, very bad. Try to explain to what fucking happened here. All right. So this man, how big was this old man's fucking penis hole? I don't know. He's a Cambodian fella. He's a Cambodian fella. He went to the doctor. I thought he said it was in the UK. I thought that this was from the UK. No, no, no, the mirror, the mirror is from the UK. Okay. So doctors in Cambodia, they say the patient went for a dip without any clothes. So he went skinny dipping like all good old men should do.

Don't judge because that's how we're going to be. We will be nude old men at the beach. And so he left the, he left, you know, the lake with extreme pain. He's like, what the hell is going on? And then he went to the doctor and then scan showed the parasite had allegedly wound it up parts of the man's internal organs with its sharp teeth. There's a picture of it. It is huge. How do you not know that it's going up there? Straight up. How are you surprised by it? I don't, I think old men, I mean, honestly, after 80 years of pissing, I think things just get looser. I feel like you're, you know, the old, everyone, old, we've all been in the YMCA gym and you see the old mandong, old mandong gravity

is very kind to the flaccid penis in some ways. Drawing sort of, no, it makes it look like a fucking Salvador Dali painting. Like it doesn't look better. It's not like it's long or earthy or it sort of, it starts to look like a sleeve. It does. Absolutely. Like a turtle on a shelf. But at the same time, you've got to lead just even just touching the tip. I want to say that I don't care how old and how to touch I am with my own penis, I am going to feel it go like, as it starts going up the tube. I think when you get older, like you're just more relaxed about shit. So this dude, he says, so this is what the hospital say. They stuck a tiny little camera up as you rethra. So there you go. A little sounding information. I don't think you like this though.

And then they used another tool called a bipolar risk resector scope, resector scope. Why did they put all this in the article just to prove that they went and found out what these tools are called? Because the mirror has to pretend like they're not just writing an article about elites that crawled up a dude's cock because they have to pretend like, no, there's a medical explanation. This is science. But it was complicated because the leech had swollen in size, taking up 500 milliliters of blood. It sucked from the man's testicle. I don't know, not organs, I guess, they're not balls. So they are balls or organs. Yeah. Well, I guess, but the ball, I don't think you get to the balls through the, I don't know how it works. I went to Catholic school. I don't

know. I know, I've seen, I know that there's the vesicles, the Vans deference. But I don't know if a leech can get through the Vans deference. Well, maybe if he asks real nice. So this is according to a statement, they said, the waters are rich with the rod, the waters are rich with leeches and other insects during the raising season, during the rainy season. Can we just say poor with leeches? I don't know. Does it really have to be rich? I guess not, because a lot of rich people are leeches, but just the idea of it just being, hmm, you know what I would use? Chalk full. Chalk full. It is. So the dude stayed the overnight in the hospital. He stayed overnight in the hospital. And then he's just fine now. I guess he just, you just laugh it off. There's a

picture of the doctors all around him holding the leech like they just killed an elephant in Africa. They're like, it's a fucking prize. Like they went big game hunting and this fucking old man's cock. So, you know, that's actually a feel good story. So you know what? You don't have a leech up your penis right now. Do you? So, you know what? It really does make me at least know that the death, it can be a fundemic without a leech inside of my penis. And you know what it might have been the size of? Have you seen the pictures of Loch Ness Monster? Yeah. This is some pretty good fucking little juice from the daily record. Loch Ness Monster spotted by Walker as new picks spark Nessie to beat. Now a tourist has captured an incredible series of photographs that have

sparked online claims that he has snapped a picture of the Loch Ness Monster. Now it is a picture of a very big fish. Okay. You say big fish, but isn't the Loch Ness Monster a very big fish? We don't know. There's been many attempts to find the Loch Ness Monster. One recent attempt, they went and they, because they were trying to say maybe it was a plesiosaur or something that existed inside of the water that managed to escape extinction, lived like deep in the caverns of the Loch. Right. But then someone did this sort of like DNA test on the waters of the Loch Ness to show. We need no dinosaur DNA in this one. Like he was in one of these and I don't know how they know that, but they said there was, they just, they licked it. I don't fucking know. They just

dipped their cocks at it because they don't wear underwear over there. It's just thought about skirts. And so they, I have no clue, but they said they didn't find anything like of a big animal, but they think what it could be. So according to the story, Steve Chalice from Southampton was on all a day in Scotland this September with his brother last year when they decided to visit Castle on the banks of the famous Loch. Nailed it. Spotting the chance to get away from the majority of the other tourists who had just arrived and a couple of coaches. Steve explained that he initially photographed the opposite shore when he saw a sort of ripple in the water. According at first he spotted what he assumed at the time was some sort of fish. He said, I started taking

a couple of shots and then this big fish, he came to the surface and then he went back down again. It only appeared in one shot and to be honest, it was every day of a fluke. That's funny. It's a fish show. That is kind of funny. When you said a ripple appeared, I just couldn't stop thinking like, what are you trying to fuck me like? You want to fuck me? You know, it seems like the lake is really courting, but he says this picture. According to this thing, he estimated the thing that this thing was about 30 feet away is about eight foot long. Okay. Well, how big is the law? How big is the monster supposed to be? Don't know. It's, I don't know because until now it was fake. But like, yeah, right? Because the original famous picture is like the guy who took it was like,

yeah, I said it all up. It's like a Coke can with a bunch of toilet paper or whatever. Like, we know that's a fake picture, right? He faked it. He faked it because he went to, it's a long story. There's that famous picture of Nessie, of that lizard's head coming out of the Loch Ness. And I believe the story was it was faked by a hunter. This guy that was told to go find the Loch Ness monster, he basically came and wrote this article. I forget, I just want to say this was like the 1800s. He basically said, I couldn't find the Loch Ness monster. They then fucking roasted him, saying like, you bitch. And he's just like, you told me to go look for it. And I didn't find it. So he faked it, getting his surgeon. He wanted to ask his buddy. He's like, oh, you go and take,

we'll fake all these pictures. And then you'll come and say, we'll tell everyone this doctor, he's a doctor that we interview. We'll show everybody that we got this, these pictures of the Loch Ness monster. It turns out the doctor was a gynecologist, which is really fun. That's a major doctor though. That's a very important doctor. The only doctors I don't trust are dentists because I don't think they're actually doctors. But I've talked about that on kind of fun, the wrestling podcast. And I think this is more of a personal prejudice. It is a personal prejudice. I haven't been to the dentist in 15 years. I still have all of my teeth. I feel healthy. My mouth feels good. You should go to the dentist. You don't know what's in there.

Well, I'm currently brushing because this is the only thing they had at my deli where I buy all of my goods and all of my needs. I have a pink, I believe it's a, it's not on my little pony toothbrush, but it's got little pink hearts on it and it's electronic. And the guy laughed at me when I bought it, but it was the only toothbrush he had. And I said, technically that's your fault. I didn't buy this. You don't have any other toothbrushes. So yes, I have a pink vibrating toothbrush right now, but I'm a man. Well, yeah, I think you technically purchased a pedophile tracker. Um, but also if anybody ever tells you like to make fun of you for a little like pink toothbrush, why don't you just be like, you think it makes me less of a man and just grab and just slam

his head against the fucking couch? Yes, that's what I would do. That's why I felt no insecurity by it. It's not gentle. You're a man. Anybody, I, you, just a toothbrush. It doesn't make you weak. Why are you saying a pink toothbrush? I'm not mad at you. It seems like you're saying that, but it seems like you have sort of a bias behind the words. No, you don't know. I'm mad at the guy for shaming you for just getting an innocuous toothbrush. Like I'm mad about how many times, even though we've go to Boston, how much I love Boston, how many times I've been called the F word walking down the street because I wear shorts that are two inches above my knees. There are certain places in this country, Henry, where people don't appreciate you. I remember when you

were filming, oh, I forget what it was. I think it was a TV show in Florida and they would not seat you at the bar. This is because I had my little golden rod shorts on my fun boy shorts. And I had my shorts on a purple shirt open. It was 95 degrees outside. I was feeling free. I was feeling easy. I was being in from the West Coast. Florida is full of the most eclectic. And I say this word with love trash in this country. I love good trash people. And Florida is a decriminal crib. And the fact that you basically said my kind couldn't sit in the restaurant. And I was like, you mean an eater? You mean a big old fucking eater that would sit here and spend a bunch of money on stupid booze and eat a bunch of hors d'oeuvres with me and my fun friends? If it wasn't so completely

inappropriate, I would like to Photoshop you at the lunch table as everyone's screaming at you. And it'd be like, he's a real civil rights hero for short fat Polish men who wear extremely tight shorts. But I think that I think it would be misunderstood. So it would be the lockedest monster. Who the hell knows? We don't know. There's some people just saying it's a catfish. Yeah, because then there's a picture of someone who seems to have caught the fish from the picture because they looked at the markings from the picture. And it seems like it was a 286 pound catfish, which are freaking scary, dude. Man, they are scary. They'll eat anything. But I tell you what, I'd like me some catfish. I'll deep fry it. That's not a problem. Yeah, that's the only

way to have it, man. Ooh, I like it deep fried catfish. I think about it all the time. It's just strange. We've talked about this. Some fish are too ugly to eat and catfish are kind of up there for me. But of course, if someone serves me a catfish, I will eat it all. Yeah, you're not looking at its face. You don't know what it looks like. It's not like you had to reach into a tank and pull it out. No, speaking of Salvador, Salvador Dali, catfish are sort of the dali's of the sea with their little whiskers. Kind of fun. All right. I quit. I quit the show. One thing I do want to say is there's a lot of the UFO community that's pushing for disclosure right now. And I'm going to say, Hey, maybe let's get past all the national turmoil for a second and then we'll get the

disclosure. This is me saying this, but the main, you could, it is interesting who's calling for it because the big one is Mark Rubio. Mark Rubio is obsessed. Oh, you mean Marco? Marco Rubio. What I call Mark Rubio. Yeah. Marco Rubio. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't mean to take away his identity. I don't fricking care. Senate Intelligence Committee confirms the US Navy has a UFO task force. All right. So Marco Rubio, he wants a detailed analysis of an unidentified aerial phenomenon data and intelligence reporting collected or held by the Office of Naval Intelligence, including data and intelligence reporting held by the unidentified aerial phenomenon task force. So now they're saying, right, there is one, which is very, very interesting. I actually agree with

you from this point of view where I think it's great. Euphologists, that's 24 seven, you know, 365. You don't take a break. You don't take a fundemic break. You do that. You get into the work. Yes. We've got 30 million people unemployed with massive deficits. We are, the country is literally on fire. Police are fucking, you know, are run rampant. Everybody's like, I don't know if Marco Rubio needs to be focusing on this right now. That's what that is. That is just all I'm saying. And this is me saying from the bottom of my, and it just makes me really, it makes me really sad to say it, but he did technically go out of his way to essentially identify that there is a UAP task force that has happened. They are, they are in the middle of it.

It's, it's just wild, man. The news just doesn't fucking stop because then also the Japanese government just somehow basically had to come out and say that there was this giant balloon. There's just big old white balloon. No one's identifying it. Just flying around above, I believe it's Zendai, Japan. Cool. Earlier last week, it is just this weird craft and nobody is claiming it. No kidding. And of course, we also have the rise of the space force, which you would think was a mockery to everything because literally the symbol that they use is the Star Trek symbol. They are. This is the kind of shit I'm talking about, about retrofitting pop culture and making it real. Right. This is the kind of stuff where,

where it's weird. It becomes like, what is influencing what? Like, yes, they're saying it's just like the Starfleet, but what if they kind of, there's a weird other idea of like, that's making the Starfleet real. It is. In a way, it's they're trying to, but Starfleet, I don't know if you remember, they were trying to look for diplomatic, like actual solutions. Yeah, Henry, every single episode, there was a fight. Not. Well, sometimes, sometimes there was kisses and sometimes there was puzzles and sometimes they all had to sit and think, I am not as into TNG as Marcus is, but it's definitely one of those where they were searching for talkable answers, where I think the space force is looking to just shoot rockets. Well, that is, that is the point.

They've just called for a bunch of new weapons. The US, the US army, they've asked for 155 million artillery rounds that can be put through a building window at 18.6 miles. That is how far from damn near 20 miles away, they can just put a bullet through a window. And these bullets are like the size of like Tommy Pistols ding dong. These are huge bullets. And you know what they're trying to do? Well, you know that that's how they, they do the bunker destroyers too. Yes. One of the big thing to go against, to go against secret bunkers. I don't know if I've talked about this on the show, but the idea is they would fly up satellites up into the sky with big poles attached to them. And then they just let the pole go and it would fly through the atmosphere and pierce

into these underground bunkers. Yep. That is one thing we have in spades. We are very good at killing. We're the best at it. So they also are the best at it. They've also ordered US Air Force, US Air Force B2 bombers. They can pinpoint enemy air defenses with precision weapons from 50,000 feet. And US Navy ships miles apart can coordinate attacks across vast swaths of open ocean. So it looks like this like space force meets ufology thing is kind of coming together in a weird way. And I really hope that the better side of humanity wins and we don't just start trying to kill whatever entities we find, because they're probably going to be better than us. And then they're going to be really mad. We need to understand that they're actual physical,

nothing bolts, other entities that come from another galaxy physically, they are going to kill us. So do you think that they do you think like we come in peace? Do you think that they don't? I think that everyone the idea there's a human centered problem, right, with the idea of the way we view aliens and other entities, this idea that they would have anywhere close to the same values of an in any way, shape or form. We have no fucking clue what their agenda is. We have no clue what our values are to them. I dare it. I don't fucking know. Fucking shoot first, ask questions later. I think it's just get rich or die trying. I think that's the main value that we have as a people. Yes. And we will. We don't know what we're asking for when we we are saying

like, Hi, Mr. Alien, right? Like we don't know what we're asking for. We don't know what the other side if this we talk about last week, the tall whites like you and then the national history of tall whites, which is not very good, but the tall whites with they are actually very peaceful. They believe that they're trying to help us, but it's both. It's just not so much peaceful as it's neutral. Like the tall whites just kind of they exist in a relationship with humankind that they basically we need to benefit from any arrangement that we do. So there's some sort of mutual benefaction going on. All right, so I mean, hey, it seems more likely now than ever before disclosure as we've said before is in the air. If you're in the government, please take care

of a whole bunch of other stuff first. But this is just let's just let's just get to it first because I want to be you know, I honestly, I just don't want Trump getting it. All right. Well, I well, I mean, you could just see him holding the head of glorg lack or whatever an oppressor. And again, listen to Abe Lincoln's top hat. If you want to keep up to date on politics this past week, we did a great we had a great conversation about guard armed guards in schools. Turns out not really working out. So we'll be talking about the prison industrial complex this week. Also, give yourself a if you would like, you know, your true crime dose this week, go watch, go look at Dateline. They have the new update on Chad Daybell, Laurie Vallow. You basically learned that the way that

he covered up the possible murder of the of Laurie Vallow's daughter was that he said that he shot a raccoon. And so he had to tell his wife because he was still married at the time when Ty Lee had went missing. Uh huh. And he buried a bunch of shit in his backyard in their pet cemetery, which is where they believe that they found the two bodies. It is this whole thing. It's she is fucking wild. And when you go and watch the original coverage of the date of them on Dateline, you see that footage of them in Hawaii coming out all tan, just being like smirking, a little smirks holding each other's hands, coming out of the hotel. And then you realize like they had two skeletons of her children underneath his house, like right next to his house

that entire time. And they were acting as if they were like skirting the cameras like they were the fucking paparazzi. Absolutely disgusting. Very sinister because immediately sinister. Absolutely. Well, speaking of people who were arrested and the US military, just briefly here, a US soldier, his name is Ethan Meltzer. Meltzer, he was accused of planning an attack on his own unit, but the strangest thing, I mean, obviously that's strange, but the thing that kind of sets this one apart is evidently he had a relationship with an occult based neo-nazi and racially motivated extremist group, which I didn't really know a lot. It's just a mouthful there. Um, he was allegedly planning the, um, the group is called the order

of the nine angles. There's, this is the ONA has been around since the sixties and the seventies. It is a, a theistic satanist group. They believe that they worship the devil and that they are, and they are fascists. They're straight up fascists. They believe in creating, and I don't know what this story is. We have, we have, uh, order the nine angles is in the last podcast time, like pipeline. Yeah. We are going to cover this group. So the order calls for the overthrow of the West's, uh, Judeo-Christian order, and it encourages members to isolate themselves from society. So they're having a pandemic. Uh, they commit crimes and embrace political extremism. New followers must spend at least six months in quote insight roles, a practice of infiltrating

and subverting other religious groups or organizations like police and army. The group maintains a decentralized structure. So it's hard to estimate the true size, but it's ideal. Yeah. What was it? The committee or commission with the K, I believe, is the way that they talk about it. And they just don't, cause they don't have a centralized hub. It's that anybody who kind of wants to be a member of the ONA can be. Uh, this is private Melzer. He wrote to O9A members that he was quote, risking my literal free life by disclosing this information. And he says, I am expecting results, members of the order of the nine angels, uh, or angles rather, also known as O9A have expressed admiration for both Nazis, Hitler, and Islamic jihadists such

as Osama bin Laden. So they're really bringing, they're bringing a lot together here. They're bringing a lot together and the love of the, and you know, but I, I love the concept of Satan and the idea of just trying to be illuminated and be, that's the idea is that instead of not worrying about being constantly dictated to by some, some authority that's supposed to tell you everything that you're supposed to know is about researching things on your own. It's about honesty and this is like, this is a, it's a, it's a, talk about a subversion of the subversive. Yeah. It's definitely a perversion of, you know, all, all good, rational, independent thinking, obviously. Um, and of course, I want to get into deep, I want to get deep into order of the nine angles. We're going to do

that last podcast. All right. Cool. So anyway, this guy has been arrested. Uh, he has openly said he's a traitor. This is what the FBI assistant director William F. Sweeney has to say. He says, Melzer declared himself to be a traitor against the United States and described his own conduct as tantamount to treason. We agree. A little FBI joke there. And, uh, yeah. So there you go. This guy has been busted. It wouldn't be the first time we've seen a soldier attack his own squad. Um, but this one has a different reason than the previous ones, which is actually more some Islamic extremism. Um, and then also also just some people who have severe PTSD, uh, in war. They have also attacked their, their, um, their counterparts, but, uh, it's very scary.

It is very, very scary. Oh, it's very, very scary. If you're going to, if you're going to choose to like kill a group of people, that's a hard target. That's a, that's a straight up Jeff Jean Claude, not Jeff, not Jeff Van Dam. That guy just works at Subway, but Jeff Van Dam, Jeff Van Dam, he works at the ice cream to the ice cream truck that he drives around John Claude, Claude, John Claude's neighborhood. Will you please remember, remember your cousin Jeff. Oh, poor guy. Uh, my nuts hurt every time I watch, uh, John Claude Van Dam do the splits. He's very good at it. It's very confident when he does it, but then I realized he's very short. He's only like five, five, easier to do stuff like that.

That's not true. I'm fucking five foot seven. I couldn't fucking do a split. No, but you can do it. You can do different things with your body because it's easier cause you're, cause you're tinier. Yeah. I could sit for five hours at a time. Yeah. Like a ninja. Very cool. Um, all right. Well, let's see here. Uh, let's, you know what? Let's just hop to hero of the week. What do you think? Let's do it. All right. This week's hero of the week. It's a simple story. It's a beautiful story. It's a story of longevity. The world's oldest golden retriever named Augie celebrated her 20th birthday. Golden retrievers are only supposed to live to 10 to 12 years. I'm sorry.

If you own one right now, forget that. Exit that out of your brain. They're never going to die. Uh, that's what I do when I look at Puffin and I look at Jerry. I say they're here forever. I'm sure you do the same thing with Wendy. That doesn't exist. Oh no, no, no, no. Well, well, the idea is to just clone her and replace her the next day and act as if she never died. This is one of those moments, Henry, where I, where you're Hollywood, Henry Zabrowski, the clone, isn't that what Susan serrated? Somebody did that. Barbara Streisand. Like you can't just clone the dog, Henry. I mean, we got to figure out something. So, I mean, I, because I don't know what I'm going to do.

All right. I'm like, I'm upset. I'm miserably upset. You even mentioned it. Even thinking about it. Well, Augie was born April 24th in two, was born April 24th, 2000, and was re-homed twice during that time. She's had a hell of a life. The couple who are active in their local golden, golden retriever rescue organization adopted her when she was 14 years old, believing people may be unwilling to take such an elderly dog. So it's just very cute. This story comes from June 24th, and she's 20. She's, she has her 20th birthday and she's surrounded by all of her siblings, Sherman, Bell and Bruce. And what I love the most about Augie is she looks like she kind of looks like Marge shot. I'm not saying she's racist, but I'm saying she's grumpy as hell. She looks very

grumpy. She made it to 20. She definitely looks like she is ready to be euthanized. But you know what? She's like, please get me out of here. That's, that's, you know, hero of the week is Augie, the golden retriever, but it's also longevity, the will to live. I watched an interview with a woman who was 109. She said the key to longevity is wanting to die because she said God never gave her what she wanted. Yeah, that's about right. That's 40 chests right there. That's 40 chests. Yeah, you got a fool God. So Augie, you are this week's hero of the week. Congratulations on being so cute for 20 long years. She's, she's been there as long as we've been in Iraq. That's just another depressing fact. This is a sad episode. It's fun.

All right. Here's a couple. Here's a funny story. This is a cute listener email that I enjoyed. Let me first say that I am not psychic, but I have had psychic dreams and more specifically, I have the complete worthless ability to locate missing snakes in my sleep. Let me explain. My brother always had pet snakes. And because he was a shitty pet owner, his snakes would frequently escape their cages. My family would look for the snake for hours, checking under couches and beds, et cetera, but to no avail. On one occasion, I was taking a nap in my room. And then in my sleep, I could hear my mom and brother arguing about one of the snakes escaping. I was in that state where you're still asleep at half awake and you can hear the outside world

like when you sleep through your alarm clock for a full hour. As I hear them arguing, I dreamt that the snake was hiding behind one of the curtains in my parents room, specifically the left curtain in the window farthest from the door. I wake up, roll out of bed, saunter under a bedroom, pass the first window, head for the specific curtain I dreamt about. I whip it away and sure enough, there's the snake. Found it. I called them. My mom and brother ran into the room, dumbfound it. I explained to them that I heard them arguing in my sleep and dreamt the exact location of the snake. Needless to say, it was stupefied. A short little while later, my brother's snake escaped again. Once again, they looked everywhere with no luck. My family jokingly said,

I should try to dream where it was, you know, and you're like, oh, you're going to fucking roast me. I found the last snake. Sure enough, I did. I dreamt that it was at the top shelf of my closet some six feet up, which of course would be impossible. So I didn't even bother to look. Right. Almost a month later, I was cleaning out my closet and start to take the box down on the top shelf. And then I hear a hiss. I panic and drop the box. And as I do his snake lunges out from inside it and hits me in the head, I wish I could say I didn't throw it at the wall, but I did. It was a reflex. It was fine. And luckily snakes can go a long period of time without eating. So despite being on top of that shelf for over a month, it lived for many years

after that. Wow. I know at one point that box was on the floor. My mother must have put it in the top shelf of my closet. That's the only way I could imagine it got up there. So to put it simply, I'm psychic, but only when it comes to missing snakes. Well, I mean, I'm sure that there's someone with a missing snake out there right now that could use your help, buddy. And he also said that basically belts look like snakes. So maybe the next time my belt goes, he can help dream it. That's a great point. Yeah. I'm going to hit him up. Have you had, I mean, obviously you're in a slightly different location than you were. Have you noticed any gnome activity? No, not yet. Okay. Not yet. All right. So here we go. This comes from this called Ben's prophecy. Oh,

on 620, Ben tweeted a prophecy that everyone who sleeps at a my pillow will have nightmares of a fat man screaming at them. Yeah. And I promised to report back. So here I am. Whoa. First, I'd like to make a small disclaimer. I did not purchase the my pillow. My girlfriend's mom is the kind of person who, unless otherwise instructed, buys people as seen on TV items as gifts. Thoughtful though she is, we have received a few duds over the years. So it came to pass that my girlfriend received the my pillow and outright rejected it. Once her mom had gone home, I am the kind of person who could sleep on pretty much anywhere under any condition. So to me, it was just a free pillow. I've used it for a while. It's fine. Nothing relevant to worry about it. Just kind of a lumpy

pillow. Anyways, last night I did dream a bit and one dream Henry appeared in full. Your pretty face is going to hell and was ranting about something. I didn't think it was directed at me, me specifically immature, more or less. It just seemed to be listening sympathetically and nodding as he went on. So it's light on interesting details, but I doubt anyone actually cares much anyway. Well, there you go. See this guy, important thing is as written, so did the prophecy come to pass. I love it. And that man now gets to experience what it's like to be with Henry three o'clock in the morning in a dye bar in Cincinnati. When everyone cries around us, we hear my ideas before. It's a forum for me. We were with our manager and since he had Henry and I were just

screaming at each other and our manager is like, there's a band. What's going on with the band? What's going on with the band? Really? No, this is how we speak. And let me do this last quick one. All right. So I was the vice president of my college paranormal club a few years ago and as but VP, I get to go on some trips to some really fun nearby haunted locations. Cool. Flashback to 2016. Me and my club were on a group investigation of Iron Island Museum. The activity at this museum is widely known around the country. So at least three groups of paranormal investigators were there that night. One of these paranormal groups from California was seriously legit. They had large cameras, infrared cameras, other equipment, and I later discovered they were

going to make a documentary. Anyways, at the beginning of the tour, the groups introduced themselves. We said a little spiel about our club and then it was time for that group from the California to introduce themselves. This one investigator, a man in his late 20s, early 30s, begins to introduce himself in the group, talking about how experienced they are about how this stuff is not to be messed around with, seemingly directing, directed at our inexperienced group, right? Other groups chime in and then all of a sudden the man stops speaking and he starts to get very emotional. He starts to shake his ice tear up and he and he says this and this is this is in his voice shaking this is a complete seriousness he tells us this story. After a

particularly difficult investigation of a client's home, a demonic spirit followed him on. The spirit would come to him at night and in the first appearing a sort of a dark shape in the corner of his room. He'd be paralyzed in his bed unable to move or scream. If the spirit slowly came closer he shut off his eyes but tried to say some sort of prayer to himself but when he did he proceeded to feel the sort of force on top of him holding him down. He then felt his anus penetrated by what he told us. Don't laugh. He felt his anus penetrated but what he told us was definitely a penis. He tells us in vivid detail about how he felt the spirit have anal sex with him until he, the investigator, the investigator until he came but when he came he felt the warm

come and leave his penis and fill his own asshole. He told us what the spirit stole his come and put it inside him. He began to describe the feeling of his own come dripping out of his ass and the head of the california group cuts him off. Why not stop him before? I don't know. Apologizing profusely for his team members behavior, reiterating a warning that there are demonic spirits out there that can have very real impacts on your life, right? This is true. So every investigation should be taken very seriously. The head investigator for that group pulled aside later telling us that the man had mental illness outside of investigating and not to take what he said his facts. Well, you never know what's going to happen in the world of paranormal.

Occasionally a demon will have anal sex with you and then I guess make your butthole a bowl for your own. Amen. Some people love it. Some people love it. Some people do love it. They really do. Well, thank you so much for those emails. Side stories LPOTL at gmail.com. Shoot us your tails. If you have any heroes you want us to give shout outs to please let us know. And wow, indeed a tail that really shakes you to the core, doesn't it? It really doesn't. I'm so sad I even said it. Yep. Yep. In a way I am. I'm just going to think about it all day. I'm just thinking of him just. In a way I'm upset that you did too. You know, and that's why you really got to live laugh love because you never know what's going to happen when you're on tour. You never know what's

going to happen when you're seeing a bunch of ghosts, right? You got to live knowing for a fact. You got to just keep one eye open when you're sleeping. Yes, you do. There's always wonder, especially if you've been around a bunch of demons because you don't know what's going to happen. You got to, you got to laugh at the little funny little things that happen. Like if he puts a bunch of cum in your own butt, hey, hey, at least it's your cum. At least. Yeah. Not bad. Not bad. Could be worse. Love every time life throws your curveball. You have to. Like you're pressed down in your sleep by Annabelle and your butt is, your butt is filled with your own. Absolutely. Hit that curveball out of the park. All right, everyone. Hope you're hanging in there. It's a fun. In

the middle of this fun. Demic. I also just want to straight up say, um, thought a lot about Elijah McClain recently in this story that came out and it is absolutely devastating. Research it. If you haven't heard anything about it, this young man was very hastily killed by police during a stop. You never, they never should have called the cops on him. He was just walking down the street with a ski mask. He was a young kid. Good kid. It shouldn't happen to, but that just from being a good kid doesn't mean it shouldn't have just happened to him. It shouldn't happen to anybody. Yeah, absolutely. And this is the kind of shit that we needed. We need a fucking fix. And I don't know how we haven't heard of that story. Elijah McClain. This happened last year. Absolutely devastating.

Seemingly a wonderful man with a wonderful heart, a very innocent soul. And yes, brutalized knee on the back. The whole thing. And again, we are focusing as we always do on criminal justice for abling and stop at. So we will be discussing more of that story as well as the weeks go on and discussing. But we love you guys straight up, man. We just love you so much. And we don't want anybody to experience this kind of pain. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. It's, it's, we got a lot of trauma in this country. We need a lot of healing in the first step. We have to hold people accountable, get away, get rid of the blue wall of silence, get rid of these police unions. And we need to have community policing and people treated with respect because by golly, we're worth it. We deserve it.

And it's going to, we got to come together on that. I'm with you, baby. All right, guys, never forget this is for me to go. Hail yourselves. And hail Satan. The good one. The good one. He just wants you to go to the music. He just wants to go see some music. He wants you to just touch, touch yourself. I heard that I heard that Satan's minions, these demons are out there making people do things in their own butt. But tell you what, he probably kind of liked it. He came. He died, he know that. He's full on pain. He's full on ejection. I have a feeling he was also sitting on his own thumb. That's it. That's the whole thing. That's a whole long story. That's very complicated. That's very complicated. All right, everyone. Magustal Asia. Magustal Asia. That's

what I say now. All right. Bye. Bye. Bye. Don't swim in a pool full of leeches that go up your neck. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.