Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Make Mud, Not War

Episode Date: August 2, 2018

Welcome back to Side Stories. We're living, laughing, and loving all through the night. This week, Ben 'n' Henry talk bigfoot erotica, Operation Popeye, and the Aum Shinrikyo executions.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last talk. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? Oh, yeah. Can't get you out of my mind. Man, we got Um Shinrikyo, and I say we. I say we. Yeah, what did we do exactly to get Um Shinrikyo? Nothing.

Okay, good. That's what I thought. Technically, we helped their cause in many ways by broadcasting their name out more and more. But we got them. We got each one of their dirty little feet just dangling in the wind. Oh my goodness. Alright, this is Side Stories, everyone. I am Ben Kissel. That is Henry Zabrowski.

I don't know. I think they were probably very clean. I think they clean you before they kill you there. That's what we're talking about in Japan. Um Shinrikyo, the final. I believe it wasn't the final six or the final seven. They were executed this past Thursday. So now it's official Um Shinrikyo is dead.

I mean, I still believe that there are some holdouts. You think so? I believe that there are ones that are still kind of holding. Like the website's still available and shit like that. Really? Like they had some. Because remember, they changed. It turns into a left, which is this.

If you go to english.alef.to, there's a bunch of shit on here as well. Which is still like kind of boiling it down to more of what was the core central belief systems and their kind of their reading stuff. So there's somebody running this website. It's not a good website. No. Well, of course, Um Shinrikyo meant the supreme truth. What does the new term mean?

I don't know. Let me actually look this up. All right. All right. The Ohm related. Okay. Here's how this is. So they kind of distance themselves from this.

Okay. That's maybe for the best. Not a kind of sarin attack. I think so. Yes. Because it says here immediately in 2000, they have like a reaction to the Ohm related incidences. Interesting.

Basically, they said they quit Ohm Shinrikyo and did their own shit. But if you want to get deeper into this stuff, you should definitely read alf.to to see for yourself. Yes. But we got them. The last six members were the last six members were executed on July 26. Now, it seems like apparently in Japan, they like get you. What do you mean they get you?

I mean, we get a lot of people here. I think we're when it comes to criminal justice and being very hard on people, I think we're number one. But we do a thing where we're like, we're going to get you. But on September 9th of 2021. And then you just have to sit and then you file your appeals. Yes. You do all this shit.

Or in Japan, it's like they bring you your macaroni and cheese for the day or whatever your Salisbury steak. I imagine. I don't think that either of those. I think both of those are far too nice. I think they get it. People get on death row. Wait, don't they get like a little bit of food?

No. You think so? I don't fucking know. I actually. Yeah, I don't know. Food on death row. In America, you get a loaf and it's really sad and it tastes horrible. No one knows what's in it.

It's full of fingernails and hair and things like that. And that's what you just eat for the rest of your life. And there was, I forget the serial killer that we covered who got sentenced to death row. And in the U.S. because of our constitution, you get mandatory appeals. And the guy was like, can we not? Can I just go already? I don't want to be. There you go.

I don't want to be in this tube for 18 years. And they're like, no, we will have justice work itself out. We will make sure you're guilty. And he's like, I'm guilty. I guarantee you I'm guilty. I'm guilty. But no, in Japan what they do is they wait for you to just sit in there and you're good and comfortable and you're really getting good at your, I guess, ab workout.

Oh, you have to. Or walk around inside of yourself. I mean, you got to. Of course. And then you just go like, we're getting it today. And they grab you. And then they string you up. I guess so.

And they let you know. Well, you know what? The Sarin attack. It killed 13 people. Let's not forget that. Injured 600 folks. So now officially the saga is ended. Japan can move on.

And I think that for the folks, the victims of the Sarin attack. I wonder if they breathe a sigh of relief today. I hope so. Or this week. Honestly, they just needed to go. These are very dangerous human beings. And Japan doesn't execute people very often. So these guys were made.

It was kind of like made an example of where if you try to take over a world. Right. With your like your army of mountain wizards, like the only way to really punish them is to kill a bunch. We were talking before the show, though, you know, it's, you know, we did the episodes, but 13 you would think, I mean, you know, you there's easier ways to do it. They really did make it a very difficult experience for them. 13 people murdered.

Obviously that's far too many. But with the Sarin attack, they didn't have to be so extreme. They probably could have killed more people. I'm happy they didn't. Well, a part of it is that we learned from the episodes is that they muffed it up. They didn't do it. Right. They rushed it because they, they realized there was going to be a raid on one of their

facilities. So they rushed it. And what does that teach you? Same thing with, I've been learning from my, I am unfortunately with a personal trainer to try to get me an inch tighter for the wedding. And this mother, it's about doing it slow. Right. And low.

It's low and slow. Make the motions count. So you have to see to think about it. He is, he's training you the exact same way that that one dude cooked the turkey and that infomercial. Just slow and low. What's his name again? Said it and forget it.

I believe it's. Yeah. Popeal? Ropeal? I think it's Propeal. Propeal? Said it and forget it. God.

Love that. Ron Popeal. Oh, that one was great. God. He's doing really good. Popeal was a little funny thing where he was trying to say something to, what was this before? He's dead.

Maybe he's dead. No, he's not dead. No, he's alive. Thank God. He was doing a fun little Harvey Weinstein joke I'm seeing here. Oh, apparently in Texas, they no longer do the last meal thing. Oh, what do you mean? No, no more last meal.

No, now it's a set meal. And also on death row, you eat regular food. Oh, I, I mean, I have heard it's a loaf and unless their feet never went loaves and maybe they're doing that in Texas, but I feel like, you know, the last meal, it's, it's one, it's a tradition. It's American tradition. Yeah. Like what Christmas used to be.

And now look what's been done to it by the Democrats. I know. Another thing done. Another thing taken from our hands. Last meal, you get to see all those fun photo galleries of the last meals of people on death row. Those are gone now. Can't say Merry Christmas anymore.

Oh, what a bummer. What is this? But honestly, yeah, I guess it, it is good that we got, they, that they, we got them. I guess so. I don't know if they were going to be doing any more damage. They're hanging out in their jail cells, but nonetheless, a lesson learned. If you're going to plan a Sarin attack, maybe you should think about what happens to you if you do.

Shoka Osahara needed to go. I do believe that he had some power and influence from inside jail because until they kill it, we made the, we, I think we even, I don't know if we did it on this show, but we made the joke on stage about how like he had one last attempt to prove he could levitate, you know, in full disclosure, that's a Travis morning star bet. They gave him one last shot. Okay. Do it.

And you know, when he's sitting in that cell, his thighs, they had to get real strong. Cause we're just like, hey, constantly bumping up and down. He's like, get a picture, get a picture. No one's taking a picture. What's the point of even doing this? I wonder if they forbade him from doing the thigh exercises cause they knew it only made it more dangerous. I think they go in there.

I think about Japanese police and they go in there and whip him with like a little reed. He has like a big long stick. I don't know what cops have cause I don't think they have guns there. They have like, like whips. They have some, they have something else. They have like bows and arrow. No, I think they had just have guns and maybe, uh, I don't know. I feel like they're, they don't, they don't use the gun as much as the American cops.

They're better with their hands. I think they're taught more actual physical self-defense and things like that. Yeah, you, they use that, the Hebrew series of grips, Kragmaga. Ooh, I would love to learn how to do that. Yeah, you can. You would be all grip. How do I do that? Oh, okay.

I will show you this. I can't show you this because it's like a one day with the verse for the stream. So I was at after the roast. Uh, I went to go see roast battle shoot with, with Ed Larson and Jeff Ross. I went in back at Jeff Ross's house. Was that the Bruce Willis roast? No, no, no, no. I didn't go to the important one.

I went to the TV one. The normal one, the serious one. Oh, the one where the, the one where the comedians who have no money tear each other down for very little money. Yes. Yes, exactly. Yes, for cable credits. But I went and, um, I got very, very stoned. Uh, and I got home and I got into this.

Okay. It's a martial art known as Echiria. Okay. Which is all about grips. Right? And what they do is they walk around and they, they grab big pots with their hands and they lift them up. That's their main exercise. They lift these pots by gripping them with their hands, the lids of them and they lift them up.

Isn't that just being a sous chef? What's the difference? Yeah. But they start filling the pots with different levels of sand and rocks to make them heavier. And then they spend hours a day slapping their hands against boards to make their hands as gripable as possible. And they'll grip a man to submission at any point. Well, I feel like that's what these Japanese officers use. And they just grab Shoka also horrible by the feet.

And then he can't do anything because I got him by the feet and he's wriggling around like a snake. And then he tried to, you know. Is that like their version of like what we have at like Muscle Beach where all the guys are working out, shaking their pecs, their butts, little balls for reasons of steroids abuse. Uh, is that their equivalent of it? No. That's not what I'm saying. No. No, no, no. You don't do this in public.

No, this is just YouTube videos of a YouTube documentary of it where I went and saw it and these guys are cut as fuck lifting these, lifting these jars, man. Really? Yeah, man. But they're not doing it on a beach. They need concentration. They're gonna have a bunch of girls shaking their breasts at them hooting and hollering and getting them all hot and bothered while they're trying to grip these jugs. Those are not the jugs they need to be seeing. I don't think that the ladies really like the guys on Muscle Beach.

I think the ladies get freaked out by muscles. The guys do it for the guys. The guys are like, look at that trap. Look at that weird muscle that I don't know how to pronounce. It's protruding. It's so strong. No one even wants to see it. It's not natural.

I think some women do. I don't know. I think some men do. It's like, I will like Natalie will come in and I'll be watching several hours of World Strongest Man footage. Well, that's not cut. That's different. No, that's not cut. That's different.

That's a cut. That's like Magnus for Magnuson who is like, he will protect your home from Om Shinrikyo or an army of Vikings. Well, yeah, because you have to go against because you could get Magnus Maguson versus the remaining members of Om Shinrikyo. I would pay to see that fight. That's that like, would you rather fight like, was it like a chicken, a horse size chicken or a 20 chicken size horses? Isn't that a Reddit thing? Something like that. You got Magnuson just slapping, grabbing them and smashing their heads together and shit.

It would be like when Thor met the Incredible Hulk in the most recent Thor movie, the Incredible Hulk is very strong. And he's destroying all the people in the arena. Remember that? Why are they fighting? I thought they were friends. They were fighting for the entertainment of the later. What? Yes.

In which movie? Ragnarok. Ragnarok. I don't watch any of these things. You don't watch the superhero movies, you really should because they're so fantastic. No, no, no, man. I watch Ken Burns, Vietnam every night. Yes.

By the way, I think the appeal of the Muscle Beach is that you get to see a bunch of strong, dangerous men be in a playground together and forced to be friends. Yeah, that's true. You see the tension. Well, they are friends because they lather each other because at some point you get so muscular that it's almost like you have to live like a 600 pound life individual and you have to have people lather you in places you can no longer reach. I'll put it this way. We have been very close friends for 10 years. Yeah, probably. I can't imagine the amount of money that would need to be given to me in order for me to lather your back with sunscreen.

Like I don't know what it would cost. I'll give you 50 bucks. Fine. All right. I was going to do 25. Oh, interesting. You've been undercut. Travis, you get to do it then.

Congrats. We got to talk about this one story because this is political and you know I like my little political nerd stuff. But this is also Mr. Zabrowski territory. There is a dude. Now this is Denver Riggleman. He's a businessman, a bit of a white supremacist. He is also a huge Sasquatch or Bigfoot enthusiast. And this has apparently become quite a significant issue on the campaign trail.

He's running against this gal, Leslie Cockburn. Cockburn. She's the Democrat. And the thing is, this is a very Republican district. It's the fifth district in Virginia. They got a six point lead usually over the Democratic Party. So Republicans tend to win. The last dude who ran there and won, won by 58% of the vote.

So it's possible. It's not the white supremacy that seems to be getting this guy in any trouble. This is right near the Charlottesville area. It's not the white supremacy, but it's his love of Bigfoot and the possibility that he also wrote Erotica, which Henry, you may have read. I may have read it. Now he has a book coming out. So according to what they found was a post on his private Instagram, which he posted a picture of Bigfoot with a big censored block over what I assume to be is his cock. With the statement, cover art for hashtag mating habits of Bigfoot almost complete.

I had nothing in this magnificent tome. Don't erase the censor box. Now it does. It is a funny bit. And they do want to say it's Erotica. He is saying, which is very interesting, that what he is saying is it has nothing to do with Bigfoot Erotica, which makes me laugh, by the way. I'm sure Bigfoot Erotica writers are excited everywhere. He says it's more of a fun pastiche of jokes and shit like Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but filled with Bigfoot lore.

Now, can we actually play this clip, Travis, that technically shows that Denver Riggleman knows exactly what he's talking about when it comes to Bigfoot lore? This is really amazing. But I do want to stress just once again, this is according to Mrs. Cockburn. She says, now he has been exposed as a devotee of Bigfoot Erotica. And then she says, this is not what we need on Capitol Hill. He's a white supremacist. He is a white supremacist. This actually makes him a little bit likable.

What he chose to me is just the failure of the fucking Democrats across the fucking board. What is happening? It is literally a microcosm of exactly what they do wrong every fucking time, because it just makes him more charming. Play the footage. Let's attack him for the coolest thing he's into, Bigfoot. You spent about an hour talking about Sasquatch, and I thought that was really weird. That's Riggleman. That is Riggleman.

Oh my gosh. So I assume there's a Sasquatch whiskey coming. There could be. Is it? He's sort of a monkey. He is sort of a monkey. Well, it depends on who you're arguing with, right? You know, there's four different major Bigfoot belief type systems.

You know, you've got the biological entity believers, who I'll call the BEs. No, I can't go into this. No, go into it. No, go into it. I'm so embarrassed. His campaign manager is like, no, no. Talk about white supremacy. So I did research for 10 years on Bigfoot believers, because it's not that I'm...

Listen, I'd love to pander to Bigfoot voters, but we're going to talk about them right now. You're skeptical? I'm skeptical. Just to let everybody know I'm skeptical. But there's almost like this religious war between Bigfoot believers. You have the BEs, and I came up with this myself. So again, the biological entity believers have believed that Bigfoot's either descended from Gigantopithecus Blackie.

God, not good. Or like Homo erectus, which is a man, baby. So you have these differing ones, and even they hate each other, because you know Bigfoot can attack you with infrasound, like an elephant. I just want to let you know. Or psychic terror vibes, right? To make you run through the woods and crash into a tree so they can drag you into the woods and create baby Bigfoot.

And then you have the people who believe in the mystical Bigfoot of the Coventalure, expecting us from the Dracos in the 264 million year war. And they're like interdimensional long jumpers, right? They can jump in and out. You can't see them. Then you have the magic man theory, which is sort of the Native American mythology, that he can take you with his eyes and lead you into the woods and protect you from the environment.

And then you have the interstellar theory, which UFO is just like a Bigfoot hitchhiker, right? They drop him off. He's here like, hey, what's going on? And then he can beam up or down, so you can't kill him. So you have all these Bigfoot belief systems, and I just found it incredible that they actually believe this. And I think that I love the fact that I'm fighting for the freedom to people, you know,

that I fought for that freedom that you can believe in. Oh, right. Look, he's fighting for your freedom, Mr. Zabrowski. I know. I know. That you can believe in any Bigfoot story or any Bigfoot beliefs that you want. What I love is that in the YouTube comment that is at very top says, by Dream Demon, this man is more real than anyone in Congress on the left.

He found something he wanted to understand and keeps his mind open to different outlooks. This is like the shifting to that collusion is good, that thing that they're trying to do now where that collusion is good. I don't care. Why wouldn't you want to have friends? It's fair. It does not matter. It's all whatever.

It's all horseshoes. It's all a game that's been bought and sold a long time ago. But, I mean, he does allude to the fact that what he is writing is erotica. I don't know if he's doing it because it's fun or because it's not. I mean, obviously, it is fun. The man has spent quite a bit of time researching Bigfoot, which is, again, fine. I mean, I have to say, you know, and you're more of the expert on the cryptids than I. I mean, he really did seem to know quite a bit.

He makes Bigfoot sound like a Mega Man boss. He does. Well, because that's what a lot of those guys do because they never, ever want to just believe that maybe it's a monkey or maybe it's not real. They love all the side lower. Wait till we do the Montauk project, which is close, that we'll be working on. I mean, like, he pops in there. He's a time traveler.

Well, you know, he is so into Bigfoot or just apes in general. He runs a distillery. He's a small business owner. He runs a distillery that distributes gin, vodka, and whiskey, all three kinds of liquor. Although no tequila, which is unfortunate, and the name of it is Silverback Distillery. He is just way into this stuff. And you do have to imagine at some point it has become a fetish. I believe that he has taken his fascination to an extreme because he also wrote another

book called Bigfoot Exterminators Incorporated, the partially cautionary, mostly true tale of Monster Hunt 2006. In this short epic written with Don Barone, a former writer for ESPN that I think is actually the baser of Ray Barone, who was everybody loves Raymond, who also was a sports writer. Very, very interesting. I don't know why I know all this and also know for a fact that that's weirdly connected. You see, there are passages, including the narrator touching Bigfoot balls with a walking stick, Denver getting an ass massage, a reference to baiting Bigfoot with menstrual blood, which

is they've talked about it many times, and an assertion that Bigfoot's like sex too. Ah, no kidding. You know, and there's what he said here. And when you interview people that have different belief systems, you start to see that there's even different belief systems within the Bigfoot community, which is true. And it's a little bit like politics. It is a little bit. He has in full disclosure, he does have a thing out here about Charlottesville.

He said it's a horror, and he does not support Nazis, and he doesn't like that the white supremacists were there. So he did say, he did say that. Oh, thank him. Thank him so much. I'm so glad Mr. Riggleman was against the bullies with the torches. Oh my God. He was in the military, and he says, I fought for our ideals of freedom and to have khaki

wearing individuals spitting in the face of those ideals while parading abject ignorance through Charlottesville chills me to the bone. So he said it's a wake-up call. Meanwhile, he's just got to fall every night. He just imagines, just practicing with a cucumber with a mitten wrapped around it, flating Bigfoot behind a fucking dumpster somewhere. It's only his secret and his alone. I don't think Cockburn, actually, she's not helping herself.

And obviously everybody's now jumping on, everyone's jumping on, so we even us. I almost even feel bad, even us talking about it, because we fucking gave him a boost too. It's more, it's all of this. Honestly, he didn't bring it up. Miss Cockburn brought this up on Sunday. I don't know why. The midterms are 97 days away now. I have no idea why this is like, this is going to be the one that really destroys him.

I don't know why she even brought it up. I don't believe the Bigfoot out of it, because now she just seems like, what are you doing, reading it? Are you reading the erotic? Yeah, exactly. What do you think about it, Miss Cockburn? You looking for it? You looking for it every day?

Wondering how you could cock your husband if you have one to this Bigfoot lad? I don't fucking know. I don't fucking know. The guy, this is funny for Toppat too. This guy, he's replacing this dude, Tom Garrett. He almost got 60% of the vote, but he's not seeking reelection. After he reportedly asked his staff to perform tasks outside their duties, and then he's cited, he's now going to have treatment for alcoholism.

So that's the reason he's stepping aside. So perhaps this man, Riggleman, got him drunk off of his gin, got him drunk off of his body. He's the fucking supplier of the advice. He's the supplier knowing that Mr. Garrett couldn't handle it. Interesting. It's possible. It's possible. I like that conspiracy theory.

I am just ashamed only just because he did all the same reading that we've done. He knows exactly what's going on. And then it's just, you know what I also, now I'm starting to get to the point that I think is very hack, where everybody says the same like, this is where our country's coming to. Or like, can you believe they have lines every week? It's like, no man, it's been like this for a long time. It just was kind of secret. It was just kind of what you dealt with for a very long time.

Henry Kissinger, he tried to get Operation Popeye going where they were doing all these weather modifications over fucking Vietnam from 1967 to 1972. And that shit's real. So yeah, sometimes Republicans are into Bigfoot Erotica because it's a thing that they do that's better than them, I guess, finger in their employees. You know, I will say that the Republican Party, there's some Democrats that hunt out there too, but they like the woods, they like to be out, they like to be covered in random soot and things like that. They like to hide under brushes and pretend they're little bushes and trees.

So it makes more sense. I mean, why not? They have an eye for adventure. They love to be armed. And why do you need to be armed? Because maybe there's a Bigfoot outside. Honestly, Bigfoot should be met with peace. He's the wise man of the mountain.

We talked about this last time. But you think that's going to happen, man? That's why they don't show up, man. As soon as a Bigfoot or an alien shows up, it's going to be a bloodbath. Okay. What has to happen is it's going to be uncomfortable at first, but what it has to go. You see a Sasquatch, you see a wise man of the mountain come through the brush. I'm going to say, Kissel, obviously I'm looking at you only because of your size.

Yes, I know. But also me as well. Honestly, I would say the best way to go. Uh-huh. Is to present yourself. Just to let him sniff you. I don't. You get it all forced.

Listen. Oh my goodness. Let him choose what he wants to do. Or it could be a female. You can tell by the tits. Yeah. I don't know if that's true. But if you present yourself once in a supine position in his trust, it will then hopefully

also then present itself, which then you're going to have to smell that asshole just out of being like, it's like when you go to like some place in, when you're traveling and you're somewhere in Iceland and they're like, well, you have the shark dick and you were like, sure, okay. And you have to nibble on a little bit because Olga is asking you to do it and you're staying at her yurt and you don't want to get kicked out of the yurt for being impolite. No. I couldn't even get it before you slam that thing down your mouth the way that you love

your strange foods and whatnot. I'll do it in a fucking second, man. I know you would. I just had to put your foie gras cream. I had a bunch of foie gras cream on top of a duck loaf. It was this little duck loaf and a bunch of foie gras like kind of cream that was put on top of it. Ooh.

So good. Duck loaf is what they give people in solitary confinement. What is, what is, they should be so lucky. What did it taste like? Beautiful duck and beautiful, delicious foie gras. And then, and then what does Natalie, the Natalie looks at you doing that. And then when did she, is the marriage is still on? It's my only vice.

That is not true. I think you've had a little bit of a wriggleman's booze as well. He is. All right. Not all the time, man. Not all the time. Oh man. Yeah.

Look at me, man. Be healthy. Before erotica takes center stage in this Virginia race, it is, it is very interesting. And now you made the whole conversation about big foot erotica and you're literally flipping his voters into thinking he's actually being inclusive. Yes. That's what you're doing, which he technically is in a way, but come on, man. Come on guys.

Let's get our fucking shit together. Okay. And I have to clarify. Riggleman is not a white supremacist. According to him, his running mate Corey Stewart was caught on camera, uh, campaigning with the white supremacists. So you dump the other guy. You stop.

Oh my God. I will say, okay. Let's get past before I really start screaming and say, telling my true feelings. I will, uh, I really did get into a little bit of a weather modification. Oh, you did. Whole. So operation pop by Israel. I mean, I don't know what happened.

Someone sent me a website called weather modification history.com on the Twitter, which I'm trying not to look at too much, but I'm trying to also glean things for side stories ideas. Sure. There's a couple of one that are just very interesting. It's just that to me, I love the stories where the government did really wackadoo fucked up stuff back in the sixties. And we have to act like now that there's more money and more technology than ever before, we all have to kind of sit and pretend like, Oh, they don't do that stuff anymore.

Where it's like, I refuse to blade. I refuse. I have a book on skunkworks I'm starting to read, which is very interesting. It's real. It's the secret plane. It is. That's why they did it. Skunkworks.

That's why they did it. So you'd laugh and you wouldn't take it seriously. No, I'm taking it very seriously. You know, it's funny. I actually had a chance to meet with speaking of senators, one of Ted Cruz's number one people and he was telling me, uh, NASA to your point, never a straight answer. Henry, that is true. They're doing the space force.

It's already all happening. It's all under covert operations. They should just come clean with it and let us know what's going on, but all that stuff is very true. I don't know about the weather mods, but well, the books I'm reading right now, the three body problem trilogy, they have a, they postulate a very interesting idea is that once we truly broker, if there's some sort of extraterrestrial threat that's either real or manufactured by one of the various world governments in order to create one new world order, one of

the ways that they can actually continue the sort of, I would say surface level division between countries is to create different national space fleets where all of this, the fleets from different countries all kind of have their own jurisdiction. And then the rest of the planetary earth is in a form of some gigantic all consuming kind of socialist slash more communist world where we are then run by a pantheon of a world government. And then they do proxy wars between countries, but in space. That sounds exciting. I'm sure that they already are.

I mean, the space force, they're recruiting right now. I believe, I don't know if Henry and I are allowed to be on it. I'm too big and Henry, I'm not sure if you're, I think you got to be younger. I think that I got to be a lot of things. Yeah. I think I got to be braver. I think I have to be stronger. I think I need to have been a pilot.

I technically need classes. I did acid not that long ago, so it's still in the system. There's many things that would keep me from being on the space force. And again, if it didn't come out of his fucking mouth, I would like the space force a lot more. They had me way more into it. Yes. I mean, that's the thing.

It's like, yeah, when our, when our guy says it up there, it just sounds so stupid, but in reality, space force, yeah, when a space force, space force, because they already had, see, they already had project blue Nile where they actually went over Cuba to, in order to lessen the amount of rain that they got. And then operation. Well, how do they do that? They put stuff in the sky. These like, these like oxides where they go in these, they basically put dry ice or like

lead based oxides up in the clouds and it's supposed to either disperse them or join them up, which is an operation of Popeye. Apparently they don't know, they don't have official numbers because there's all, a lot of it's still classified, but they do believe that they raised the amount of rainfall over Vietnam, some average of one to seven inches per year in order to muddy up the supply lines by basically what they, the big, the CIA, their tagline for the operation was make mud, not war. Really?

Because it sounds quite disgusting in strange ways. Well, yeah, Vietnam was very gross. And if you watch Ken Burns Vietnam, like I have been doing slowly over the last three or four weeks because it puts me out for like, Like a decade, you know. I put it, I know. Okay. I know.

But now it's on Netflix. So I watch it in patches because I just go, I do grandfather like sleeping when I watch it. Yes. Ken Burns is grandfather like shows. It's perfect to fall asleep to. I love it. He's the best.

Well, why do they always do it? It's like, what is it? Skunktoots and Popeye. It doesn't really, it's, they're such nice names. Shouldn't it be called Operation Kalua Mudslide? Ooh. That would be, that's perfect. Well, if Sammy Hagar worked for the CIA, then it would be, and we don't know, and we don't

know that he didn't. This is Operation Cabo Wabo 9. Ah, quit plugging your chiquilla, Sammy. God, I love all of the old rock stars that just got into the bad food, bad booze biz. That's what they were. Jimmy Buffett's legit, like one of the best restaurants in Florida. Did you have you actually ever been to a Margaritaville? Yeah, I went to one in Hollywood, Florida.

Don't confuse it with Hollywood, California. There's real acting options in Florida, and it was one of the better experiences I've ever had, man, because everyone's singing, everyone's having fun, everyone's kind of kicking, and you got that Jimmy Buffett, like Jimmy Buffett's spirit is there, man. You know? Interesting. Yeah. I actually wonder, because I would try it, because it's in a couple of airports we've

been through. Yes. Yeah. I wonder what the quality will be if you go to an airport, Margaritaville, because you don't really get to hear the sounds of the ocean, it's just piped in. Yeah, exactly, and you can't be wearing, you got to wear like a swimsuit, you got to have sand on your feet, man. You got to feel like a wealthy 50-year-old going through a divorce.

You have to feel like you got nothing to lose. How disgusting would it be if they put in a bunch of fake sand at the airport? I've seen some people's feet on those planes, and I think they might have stepped in some sand. There is a very real contingency of people in Brooklyn that have adopted this sort of like vacation aesthetic, like a Margaritaville, ironic kind of thing, which that's what happens. Is that coming around the bin now? It's coming around the bin, and it led me to, I walked through Bushwick, and I saw the

two worst words ever combined, urban tiki. Oh yeah, buddy. They are really trying to take, because obviously it's very LA, because it's warm here, but they are trying to take that, because Hawaiian shirts are everywhere now, because there's a lot of people wearing, everybody's dressing like what's his name from Jurassic Park, Nedry. The one who gets beaten, or spit on by that one thing, and then it dissolves. Newman. You know what I will say?

Cultural appropriation, because it is the fat man's wear. So you don't want anyone else to be able to wear it? That is what Hawaiian shirts are for, is to show that I am relaxed enough to wear this big baggy shirt on vacation, and it's supposed to hide my rolls. You're going to come in here? It's like Jim Carrey taking Dr. Robachnick. It's the same thing. Where it's just like, oh, you're taking our rolls?

They're taking, oh, you're taking my fat rolls? I had to take my own fat rolls, now you're going to take my acting rolls? Yeah, I'm wondering, now is being an overweight, being a little chunky, which is totally fine, no big deal. It's wonderful. Is that a culture though? I don't think that that's a culture, I think that's like a lifestyle. It's the people who took it from my former people, because I even, I can't even include

myself into the fat man world anymore, because technically I'm becoming a medium. Well your personal trainer is not done with you quite yet, I think you can still wear it, and then right after the wedding, you're going to balloon out, so don't even stress it. No, no, no, no, I have to keep it at some modicum, or I'm just going to be wearing Spanx. Ooh. Spanx.

I don't know about all that, they don't make them in my size. Yeah, they do, they make them in long, I'm like triple extra long. I feel like you would be able to get, I mean I'm certain they have stuff like the boa constrictor model, where it's like fucking five feet long, Spanx. Oh, that would be nice, the anaconda pants, that would be perfect. Well are there any other stories here, I mean they got water on Mars, we didn't really touch on that, there's 12 feet of water apparently. It's 12 miles.

But they don't know if it's going to help in terraforming or not, because everything's a fight. Right, so it's a little bit wet up there. Yeah, it's just that in half the people in the world are like, now we get to go to Mars, and that's going to be incredible, and there's the other half of people, I mean like there's no way we're going to go to Mars, stupid, it'll never help with the, so it's just like another way for people to fight. That's perfect, it's nice that we can't even get along when it comes to space exploration,

the thing that should be uniting all of us all the time, because I would love to do it, although once again they're not going to invite us, but that's okay. We could go on a private space trip. Maybe, I'm not going to go, I'm not going with Elon Musk, I don't want to do it. You're fine, you're not a 90-pound woman, he won't come looking for you, he'll shape like a cigarette filter, alright. We did just get invited to go skydiving in Boston though. No, I was not invited to go skydiving in Boston, we're all invited, we're all invited.

No, you, Marcus and Henry were invited, he looked at me and uninvited me. No, no, he said that you can sit next to the pilot. That's even better, you don't have to jump, that's fine, it's not skydiving. Because you don't have to jump out of the plane. No, but then it's not skydiving, I'm just on a plane and I'm going to watch you guys. I just don't want to jump out of the plane, he was concerned for your safety, and it's not your fault, you just are different body type. It was slightly like where you looked at me, you're like, hey, you guys should come skyd,

and then he said not to you, he said not you, Ben, you're a monster. Because we're just small, it's just, it's your safety. It's sad. I am going. I will never go. And also, you took a helicopter ride this past weekend, it's amazing you're still alive, never do that again. Well, you're small enough for a helicopter ride, you're like, you could fit in a little

basket. Everything is regulated in New York City, you can't even have a little lemonade stand, but for some reason the helicopter rides, it's all fair game. You can do whatever you want. I could just buy a helicopter and be like, for your rides. It was a tour, the guy was like, to your left, there's a Statue of Liberty, to your right there's Ellis Island, and right over there is where Buddy Velastro filmed Cake Boss. Hell yeah, that's all that's all that matters in New York.

Well, that's a landmark on par with the Statue of Liberty. Well, I will say, I do think that it's important for our skies to remain unregulated. Thank you, Henry Zabrowski. All right, everyone, thank you all so much for listening. I think we love you. That's number one. Yeah. Two, you can find us on social media, Ben Kissel, Ben Kissel, one, Henry loves you, Dr.

Fantasty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you find us on that fucking bullshit. I did take the Twitter off my phone, so I'm not even looking at it, but it is nice to be freed from the yoke of looking at it all the time. Yeah, well, I mean, honestly, I like the Insta story, because you gotta leak and talk and then people can hear you, and that's kind of fun. I like seeing their faces. Yeah.

Yes. And yeah, I guess that's basically it. Thanks for giving to the Patreon, everyone. That's always very nice of you to do that. If you want to go do that, you can find us Patreon.com, I believe it's backslashlastpodcast on the left. We'll talk to you soon. Hail yourself.

Hail Satan. And if you're going to live, then why aren't you laughing? And if you're not laughing, you better be loving, consensually. It's actually very nice. Thank you.