Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Man vs Moose

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

Henry & Eddie bring you this week's biggest stories and true crime news - The Epstein Files: The Neverending Story - Pam Bondi releases "all of the files" as sweeping cover-up continues, The Nancy Guthrie hostage abduction situation reaches third week with no signs of negotiation, Cheerleader Mom commits murder-suicide in Vegas over mean-girl squabble, a Saskatchewan man fights off feral moose in battle to protect mother, Despicable Listener E-Mails, and MORE! For Live Shows, Merch, and More Visit: www.LastPodcastOnTheLeft.comKevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 4.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes of Last Podcast on the Left ad-free, plus get Friday episodes a whole week early. Start a free trial now on Apple Podcasts or by visiting siriusxm.com/podcastsplus.  Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot cast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. What I'm curious about is that just Lane Maxwell in prison.

Yeah. You think so? Yeah, because... Why don't her nose get all fat? Do you think someone's just hitting her or fucking her? Or do you think she's jamming it in a bunch of pussies? Believe me. I want her to be dead just as much.

much as Jeffrey Epstein did just as much as Donald Trump wants. I think she's hanging out somewhere. She's probably chilling. They own islands. I believe that that absolutely was Jis Lane Maxwell. It's just you know what it is? We're so steeped and deep down. Are you ready for this?

I plead the fifth. Whoa. Was that her? Anyone can do it. Anyone can do it. I got a fat face. But she just looks like shit. I think that that's what people understand yeah, she's in like a lesser security prison than she was. But she's not getting vitamins. She's not getting her very, very high-end skin treatments. Oh, yeah, yeah. She's not getting the best possible food attainable that she could possibly

get like she was used to. The little boy fourskins that they mash up and sell. And you put up in your, you get, like the little bags, get rid of the little bags under your eyes. And then she also doesn't, she was a bad camera. It was a bad lens. She was sat back in the chair. Like you'd be surprised how often you, when you're supposed to make pictures professionally, what they say is put your head on a shelf. Yes, oh no, lean forward a little bit. Put your head in her shelf. So she sat back.

She looks like shit because she's given herself the double chin thing like hot girls do on TikTok to pretend to be funny. See, but like you got her nose. The nose is different. I think it's just she's got a big, she's got a big nose. Her hunker has grown. I think it's, you grow in age and you'd be surprised what happens when it's, it's the angle of the picture.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, just late as, I know men's noses keep growing and their ears keep growing. growing. Well, after they're dead. Yeah. Well, no. When you're alive, your nose and ears never stopped growing. That's why do you, how do you explain like Jimmy Durrani? I don't think women are any different than men necessarily biologically in that way. Side stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. Do women's noses continue to

grow as they get older like men? And explain to us how that's also some very obscure turf thing that we have stumbled upon and we're making people angry. Welcome to side stories. How you doing, everybody? My name is Henry Zabrowski. I'm here with Ed Larson. Hello. We were describing before the show the really appropriate way to do this show, and the only way you're properly doing any form of comedy or radio is that half the people that listen need to be engaged because they hate you.

That's right. And we're looking at you, Rav4 owners, you fucking pussies. You waste of space. Cowards! And I will say, last week on Side Story, I called this last week. I knew it was going to happen. I called it.

We even mentioned circumcision. We kind of even talked about it in a semi-joking fashion. I received so many impassioned emails. From everybody. From everybody. From all walks of life. I was talking about last week about the blood-stained men. I started to see on Instagram about the men that walking around.

They have bloody handprints on their penises. It is objectively funny to me and Henry. Yes. I don't know what to do about it. There's men in white with. red blood prints handprints on their junk I'm allergic that makes me laugh comedically

I am allergic to sincerity there's really nothing I can do about it I wish that I was different I wish I could feel these feelings I just don't right so when I see things that are hyper sincere they make me laugh so when you guys send which I really appreciate I feel like I learned a little bit to be honest

with you I know just a little bit off the top it just seems these people that were not circumcised they really are a little extra sensitive about this topic oh so I but I totally understand I I did learn a lot because it partially it's true if I had a son mm-hmm I would know what to do I do understand that I clip the fucker it's I would be torn I would be torn because I know it's a barbaric practice I know it's old as time I know that there's no real specific even

purpose for it anymore barbaric is doing it when you're 40 I mean you gotta suck if you choose to do it memories when you you're that age. Fucking beat me. Dude, if you get circumcised optionally, you're something fucking sidingly wrong with you. But it could be a religious thing. I don't fucking know. All I'm just saying is I understand I would be confused because I would not like to harm my theoretical son. I also would not know how to tell my theoretical son how to care for an uncircumcised penis. So I wouldn't know quite what to do. But I do, I hear you, it is not, we're not just making fun of you. Yes.

I mean, also, I think the world would be a better place if men were less, like, sensitive about their penises. I think a lot of people have died because they've made fun of penises. And I think that penises should just be allowed to be made fun of.

I'm sorry. I think the world would be a better place if everyone just take that joke. It's a part of a penis having responsibility. It's much like being a police officer. You have to understand the penis is a dangerous weapon. Absolutely.

And so you have to have a bit of sense of humor about it. Okay? Because, yeah, I agree. I read under Saturn's Shadow. I understand there are actual men's issues. And I read about this. There's three Ws. So they talk about men's issues.

All right. It is work, worry, and war. One is men are supposed to go die in war. When they don't, where does all that ex is violent energy go to? It goes into something else. It turns into competition. bobsledding. You think bobsledding wouldn't

come out of not a toxic masculinity? It was a fun way to enjoy snow. I'll tell you what, you don't circumcise your bobsled. You ain't winning. Exactly.

You got to thin that out, right? Then there's work, which is that men are supposed to work, provide money, and then die. I agree. Right, that's a bully. And then men are supposed to, so these are the issues.

Men have issues, right? And then there's worry, which is the concept that I find really, really funny, which is, yes, men own everything, but isn't that stressful? Here's the thing.

I don't think about the worry thing. I don't think men worry like women worry. I think women worry way more than men. We're just talking about perennial quote-unquote men's issues. And like, so I understand when people in the circumcision and then the anti-circumcision world, they're trying to defend the little boys that are viewed sometimes by society as expendable. Yeah. And, you know, there's a lot of us.

There's one guy because we made fun of them for, and then make fun. We said like, oh, you got to clean it. It's a lot of maintenance. And this guy was just like, hey, you're cleaning. I'm good. You know, I clean it every day. And I was like, that's the problem. Full honesty, I don't shower every day.

So, you know, not showering every day. I, you know, I can't be having to deal with that. You see, I'll do a whore's bath every once in a while. Yeah? Yeah. So you do something every day. Well, if I do deodorant and brush my teeth for sure. Yes, that.

Yeah. It's a minimum, Eddie. Yes. I know that if my wife is going to engage with my balls. Oh, I'm cleaning them. Yeah, even I just got a wipe or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Even if it's just a wet towel.

For sure, for sure. Yeah, sometimes I'll just sit on a pair of damp shorts. I don't think that's making it better. No, it's making them wet. And that means clean. All right, I think we've done enough here. I think we've just made everybody angry enough. I'm very happy you got your four skins.

I'm proud of you. Please keep them. and the ladies who love it, go on you. Love everybody that loves it. Hate everybody that hates it. I don't need more sensitivity. I don't need help coming. No.

I have anything I need resistance. If someone could maybe take some more off of mine, I don't need the magical new, what I keep seeing nuanced pleasure. All right, I don't even need it. I don't have time. I have time for nuanced pleasure, all right? I got to please my wife.

Yeah. Maybe what people could do is, if we get a bunch of these forskins together, we could tie them together and maybe use them as like a life jacket or a, or a raft, you know, like a life raft to, uh,

help like the little Ilyan Gonzalez's of the world. Yeah, you know, if like you ever had to like, you know, like if you were ever on a cruise ship and like it was going down, and you're like, oh,

don't worry, I brought my own floaties. And it's just a bunch of, and it's just a bunch of fourskins. And you know what that would be super helpful to have on? What? Crime wave at sea. Oh yeah.

If you want to join. join us over at the Royal Caribbean. We are going to be at next year's Crime Wave at C, February 27. Crime Wave at C. 2.0. That's right. We are going to be sailing from incredible Fort Lauderdale. Nothing bad has ever happened there. Not once.

Honestly, this last time we came back on Crime Wave, the ship next to us had a murder. Yes, but it was, guess what? What? Carnival. Yeah. We all know. We all know what happens over there at Carnival. Carnival's the bad one.

Go to crime. Go to crime wave at c.com slash left to buy your tickets to see us. If you came last year, you know, first fun. We had, and again, we were talking, remember how much shit we talked? We had no idea what it was going to be like. Truly one of the funest weeks of my life. And getting to meet everybody on the road was so fun. And everybody, I'll think everybody, a blast.

And this time we're going to be bringing even more heat. It's a bigger boat. It is a bigger boat. We're going crazy. Yeah, man, I'm going to fish. And also, truly. The best part about this cruise At the buffet.

What? I'm going to go fishing at the buffet. Oh yeah, that's funny. That's funny. That's funny. It's cute. We could go, you know what's nice about these tickets? You can pay for them for the entire year. Yes.

So you can buy them in installments. Truly, I cannot. Like, of all of our live shows, I've never experienced anything like that, and I can't wait to do it again. It is a little expensive, but it's your vacation. You know, it's your money. It's all your food, your lodging. I was grilling people the whole time I was there was like, is this worth it for you? Because I was like feeling guilty and shit?

And every one of them was like, this is amazing, I'm having the best time. Also, I will say, I do believe we will have a face reveal of the dude from Case File. Oh, yeah? I believe that's the big thing on this one, is that the hear formation, like, he's just a voice. What if I want to see his ass? Well, that's what we get to do. Because you know why? Because men make other men do things.

That's right. Show him your ass. Oh, you're a buddy, my ass. That's what I'm talking about. Right from your grave. All right. Now, just so you know, we went and as we were going through

this week's information, I clicked over and I looked at Royal Caribbean over on the Epstein files, and we don't need to talk about what happened there, but let's see what happens when we looked at Caribbean. Oh, just regular, just regular Caribbean? Look what happened when we looked up Carnival Cruise. Oh, yeah, Carnival. It was fucking disgusting.

They had a great time over there. I deleted the email. Okay, good. Good, good. Yeah, I deleted the email. The carnival was on there way more than World Caribbean. Are we in the updates? We're in the updates. Let's head in. It's an island adventure.

Heck yeah. It's Jeffrey time. Man, I promise you, we're going to talk about other stories this week, too. Yes, I know. But, like, I had the realization this week that I had been past his island multiple times in the 90s. Because I used to go to St. Thomas, because every trip when I was a kid was a cruise. Oh, yes. And so, like, because I was a cruise.

in South Florida and we get like discounts and shit and my dad loved to gamble. So I'd always go and so we would go to St. Thomas regularly and then every time, I don't know why my dad loved going to St. John. And so we would take a boat from St. Thomas to St. John and then on the way on that boat every time

the guy would be like, and there's little St. James Island. You know, like every single time. Wow. I was just driving by there as a kid and everything was going on. This is just, I know, not to make it about myself. I just wonder if he'd already purchased the island at that point. I don't know whether or not

Jeffrey was aboard. I'd say it was the early 90s, so there might be a chance that wasn't his island at that point. Oh yes, and now we also see there was a Tyler Olivaire went and he broke onto the island. I watched this video. It was fun. It's interesting. It's a beautiful island. What a beautiful

piece of place up close. Well, you know, it's also very... There's people living there. It's extremely cryptic. It is own. There are people walking around. We do believe... They were sending messages that night. We know you were here and stuff like that. The person that I believe that is currently on the uh the on it is

Katrina Shuliac that I believe is his former girlfriend Karina Shuliac Epstein's last girlfriend the dentist that he work with is currently living on the island Who's the guy who owns it now? Some weird uh I was looking him up

and I went on a rabbit hole trying to get through him and he's like one of those billionaires that's like scrubbed himself from the internet you know he's one of those guys entrepreneur Stephen Deccoff Stephen Deccoff That's his name. Yeah, yeah. Stephen Deckoff.

I don't know what the fuck he's doing down there. He says he's going to... He wants to put a resort. He's straight up saying he's going to put a resort there, which kind of... I mean, you know, it makes sense. It's better than a rape factory, I guess. It depends on what you do there when you pay the resort fees. I mean, the thing is, like, who the fuck wants to stay there?

Other former rapists that are looking to remember their wonderful times? There's so many islands in the Caribbean. Why do you want to go to the one where people would just fuck children? a bunch. Genuine. You want to know genuinely why, I think? It's because of the way it was for it to travel to. It is extremely exclusive.

Yes. There's a way to you can build all these little puddle jumpers the way he got people to the island, which is you fly to St. Bartz, you fly to Mexico City. You fly to all these other places and you can very easily drop in. Dude, the fucking kid that we were just talking about took a jet ski. Yeah, I mean,

you know. It depends on how fucking chill you are, dude. Depends on how X games you are. All right, so let's go just very briefly. So I, deep into research, everybody in the country that has a set of balls or tits right now is researching the Epstein. We're all experts. Everybody is up into it. I met the lovely lead singer of Sepultero over the weekend.

And me and him had a wonderful time. It's just so funny. He's the nicest man I've ever met, Derek Green. Extremely nice man. managed to make it for about an hour before we started talking about it. It was nice to really have the break to just get to know another human being, but he wasn't ready to hear about the cannibalism. Now, one of the big videos...

Sempelturl wasn't ready to hear about the cannibal course? I happen to notice that that's when he called his Uber. Was when I was describing about how Jeffrey Epstein was rumored to be eating human jerky, and I was complaining to Derek about how the problem is, is that... Well, it's not human jerky. I'm sorry to interrupt you. It's not human jerky. They just refer to human flesh as jerky apparently.

Well, let's see. But if you're depending, if you're jerking it, it's the worst meat to jerky because human meat is most compared to pork meat, which I also find to be the worst jerky meat besides turkey. Turkey, turkey jerky and pork jerky, by far the worst jerkeys. I like salmon jerky. I'm fine with- I love salmon jerky. I think you're mostly, you're part Codiac. Yeah.

That's what that means. Right? So the, but I was saying to Derek, my main issue is that if humans are pork, then we should be treating it like pork and essentially you need to braze it. Yes. And then he called his Uber. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But again, we did. Or in Epstein's case, raise it. Go. Then you can really farm. You can see, but I think jerky was just a code word. You know why I think it was just a code word is because they said it was in the freezer. Yeah. And anyone who puts jerky in the freezer is a real jerk. worse than a fucking child molester. Yeah, that's right. I'm with Eddie on that. What's wrong with you?

If you got jerky in your freezer, you are not only doing it wrong, your teeth are gone. He also, yes, and he also compared the intestine, the taste of the bellies of the intestines and the meat of babies to be like cream cheese, which is also compared to

an 1800s document that was written in France by a guy that ate human flesh. Oh, okay. And he wrote all of these things. So I actually don't know what he got from actual experience or literally what he read in a Jean-Gene novel. He seems to be a fan of awful science. Jeffrey Epstein, one of the things that was revealed in this week's dump, which I thought was really interesting, is the fact that he called his New Mexico Ranch his Science Center.

Yes. We know that he was heavily involved in eugenics process, like all of these things, he was very interested in human eugenics, the eugenics programs. one of the interesting things that came out this week in the last dump, which now Pam Beyondy has officially said is over. Oh, yeah, thank you, Pam. We're now done. So she said it's complete.

Because she's done such a great job over the course of her career, dealing with the Epstein crisis. Utterly covering up, aiding and embedding it, being very much a center of it. The Attorney General for Florida, during his main years of being a child trafficker, she's either in on it or a fucking idiot. Yeah, I think, and I, I think that they don't need to be mutually exclusive.

Yes. So this is the, last week, as we were covering this, there was a hearing going on with Pam Beandi, right? And with various people represented involved with this investigation. And the thing that came out was that Ro Khanna, a Democrat rep, he came out and he revealed six men that he immediately was, was in the unredacted files that he got to see on the four computers that they're allowed to have access to. Which apparently using, this is the statistic they've said, with just the files that have already been dumped, with only the computers that they have access to, it would take seven and a half years to go through every single file in the Epstein file. It's insane how long you can really spend doing this shit. And also, Rokana immediately noticed, which I noticed, even last night, I was going through various documents because that's how I relax. And I was noticing there would be the same document uploaded three or four times differently.

redacted each time. Yes. Right. So each one was left up. So you start to actually, a lot of times if you just read the same document in four different places, you get the whole fucking document. So that's kind of where I was doing for a while.

But Roe Kano was basically saying, what in the living fuck is happening here? Yeah. This thing's a mess. The first thing I see, though, are these lists of conspirators that would be part of a theoretical lawsuit and the theoretical investigation. And these were the names he read.

And the reason why I want to reread them is that they were coming out last week. it was a big surprise, but we have no idea what this means yet. Yeah, you heard us read the names in real time. I didn't have time to research them. It's crazy. So right now the big bad guys are Les Wexner, right? 88-year-old. He now goes off.

He's the guy that did Victoria's Secret, Amber Cromping and Fitch. He's apparently the center of Jeffrey Epstein's original, big amount of money that kicked off the whole thing. Jeffrey Epstein got power of attorney for him. Les Wexner goes on to say that he was manipulated by Jeffrey Epstein. You know how an easy manipulator these billionaires are? Oh, yes. So he was manipulated by Jeffrey Epstein, probably because Jeffrey Epstein was fucking him. I think that that's one of those because Jeffrey Epstein fucked anybody that moved if it got him through something.

I believe it. All right. And so that's that's a bad guy number one. Sultan Ahmed bin Sulahim, Suleim. So this is the guy that he's from DP World, multinational. So this is what's interesting. Ports and logistics an enterprise. That's where this guy's run.

So his thing is he's in chip. and exports. Out of Dubai. Yes. So he's really good at getting things from one place to another place. Who would need that? I don't know. Somebody goes, beep, beep, beep.

That's my key. It's my trafficking noise. We need to get that. That's the thing with human trafficking. The real problem is how long it takes. Oh, my God. The human trafficking started to go from three to nine. Oh, is this non-rush hour?

Because no one's moving. So these fuckers. So he, Sultan Ahmed bin Sula'em, he was a one that he would trade sexual things with Jeffrey Epstein. This is the guy that Epstein sent the email to, I loved the torture video. And he goes and he, they talk about sex, they talk about fucking, they send each other pictures of naked girls. They send each other pictures of little girls. They send each other pictures of, I also remind yourself in the Epstein files are some of the worst things I've ever seen and some of the descriptions of some of the worst things that I've ever. seen because a lot of times they will

redact the photo but then describe the photo underneath it and it is just as bad as reading it as looking at it I'll tell you right so we know that that was one one specific email he sent to Jeffrey Epstein this is the sultan he said two years ago and from an

American university in Dubai it was a girl that had the best sex I ever had amazing body she got engaged but now she back with me he said and that they go back and forth so that's his buddy now that's the There's now four names. So those are two famous names.

Yeah. One of the four names that came out underneath it. Nicola Caputo. Salvatore Noortte. Now, no, nothing's... Nicola Caputo is the same name of an Italian politician. Okay. That they don't think has anything to do with it.

So they don't know who this guy is. So it's an... Because that's the other thing. You look up a name and then you got to remember, other people have the same name. Yes. So you're not necessarily finding the correct person because they always bar out the fucking email address.

These people's blood. lives could just fucking exploded. Like this guy, Salvatore Nuitte. Salvatore Nwarte of Queens, New York, called Rokane's office to say, straight up, I don't know if they know what they're doing over there. The Justice Department, he told the Guardian, but how can I clear my name?

I've been arrested for him related crimes. This is this guy, just a guy from Queens. Yeah. It's like, I don't know. I don't know. That's not me, bro. That's not me, bro. I wouldn't do that, bro. Yeah, but he, like, robbed a bank years ago.

Yeah, he'll never do that. I'll never do that, bro. Right. And then Zorab Mikaladez. No idea who that person is. And then Leonok, Leonid, Leonov, right? Who's also, he's this guy some randomly. He's an IT manager in Queens. He says that he was being pulled in. He's just fucked up. He's like, I don't even have a second or third degree connection to him. Never work for him. Nothing. So these are unnamed. We don't know who these people are. These sounds like guys that literally grabbed girls off the street and helped provide them that were all under Jean-Luc Brunel, all these other people that were connected over in Europe that Epstein would work with. I just am illustrating this to understand how big this is. Pam Beondi yesterday, that fucking bitch, put out a list of, in a series of malicious compliance, put out what she said, oh, you want a list of names? Here's all the names.

And gave a list of 300 names that are referred to in the emails, including Elvis Press, Charlie Chaplin, any single time anybody's name has been from because she's a fucking complicit villain. Well, yeah, because she's trying to fuck with us. The way that they dump these emails is a way to fuck with your brain. Yes. When you just give someone this much information unorganized, it sends people into meltdowns, and then when you're going into the meltdown, you then sound crazy.

But this is where I'm going to give you guys a lot. leg up because we're going to stop covering it every single day every this at this thickness okay because we do have other stories we have to talk about eventually but we're all but this is the single most don't let it but also don't get a twist

it because it's the single most important story in the fucking world right now of our entire life it is the single most I don't anybody that laughs at you about being not being the single most important political story of our generation can they are a part of it yeah if they literally don't get

why this is so big and why this is the number one, then everybody can go fuck, all right? How people with kids don't care about this makes me nuts. It's because they're also purposefully overwhelmed. So one thing to do is there's certain file types to look for. One that I thought was really interesting is FD-302 files. Oh, God.

So when you look up, if you want to look up a file that is super crucial, to the case. It's FD302. And what that is is the witness testimony and the various criminal conspirators that were interviewed. And it is the most heavily redacted and it's stuff that is the most missing. And it's the stuff that we have to yell about the most because it's the heart of the entire case. And it's literally what they have now, which I'm now also starting to understand. They obviously don't want the victim's words to be heard. by people.

They don't want them to be heard. They really do believe in many ways that the victim's words, and I'm saying this from DOJ's perspective, are like the least credible, least amount of work. Like they hear all of these, like when Pam Beondi was sitting in that room

with all of the victims standing behind her. Fucking ignoring it. And then she dared to say that that was political theater. That's like a thing that makes me, makes my fucking blood boil. Those are the people who the crimes were perpetrated against.

Against. That's who you're supposed to be fighting for. Those are the people you're supposed to be fighting for, not for the people in the fucking document. And so this, so it's, don't let them tell you that it's some form of virtue signaling to care about this because it's not. Anybody that doesn't care about this has no heart. The Dow Jones is going to be there. But seriously, the Dow Jones is going, what I want also to hold. The Dow Jones is going to snap back, whatever the fuck it is that we do. Historically.

That Dow Jones is now, that's why I don't understand my other fucking, sadly, other CEO types is that honestly the economy's going to be fine. We'll arrest all of them and the economy will be fine. It'll actually bounce back.

Yeah. And then when we start charging billionaires' taxes, guess what? Comes back. It comes back. It'll go into schools. Yeah. Who's fucking coming?

But also, let's not get too far, Eddie. Come on. Let's not go too far. All right. So one big thing. that at one relevation. I didn't want to go too far. I wanted to go back for one second, real quick. The six names. I thought you didn't mention Ehud Barak. I thought he was all over it too. He is. So this is kind of, this is the other side of it. So this does Ro Khanna just name those names. He did that as a point. Like he did those to be like, this is just an example of a redacted email that names co-conspirators that we have redacted. Yeah. Right. So that's kind of what he was trying to say is that like there was no reason for those names to ever be redacted. because they were not victims. The only thing that we're supposed to be redacted

was information connected to victims, not the people that did the crimes. So one thing that came out in this email, now, this is where I'm going to send you off as a listener. Go and listen. There are several places to go research now to make it easier. Go to dropsite news.com. Okay.

It's got the most current Epstein information that I have found on a substack. And you have to pay for that? I did pay for it. Okay. I did pay for it, but they're like unpaid for their free articles. So it's like one of the substacks. Becca Day is another one that I follow.

And they're really following. So you're up, in it? Oh, yeah. Epstein and Israel's connections. Yeah. So last week, we talked a little about how Poland was doing a big investigation into him being a Russian spy. Yeah. So there are, but we all know that he was probably playing four different teams.

At least. We know that he did a weird FOIA request to see what the CIA had on him. Mm-hmm. Right? So Jeffrey Epstein used the term skisking. skiff a lot. Like he used he would throw around intelligence terms very easily. And one of it seems the main things that he was doing, of the many things he was doing, is that he was working with the former prime minister of, of Israel, Eud Brock, on creating this like gigantic fund for

cyber warfare. Okay. And they were going to be building this. Essentially, Epstein had inside information about how powerful our cyber weapons were getting, United States of America. Then we did stuff like the, I believe it was called the Stuxnet attack, right, where we shut down all of Iranians' nuclear programs using the cyber weapon that we've said that we, it wasn't us, blah, blah, blah, right? Epstein knows we're working on this thing. It's the Netflix wave warfare. Remember the discombobulator that Trump talked about? Yeah. We did, we used in Venezuela. They're doing the same thing. So these guys are, Epstein realized, oh, America's getting really dangerous with these. I'm going to help our

allies from the inside. So then he starts working with Israel. He starts working with Russia to create cyber warfare technology. It's like my blue heaven. He's like, who put you under cover? He's like, I did. It don't work like that. Yeah. I did. He's like, it doesn't work. No, he's, it's, he's, he was available to everyone. Yeah. And I don't think, if you had money, I think if you had money, he was available. We now know that he was probably a part of whatever was this government coalition between various foreign adversaries to try to control the election in 2016 because

a lot of these guys realized that they would make quite a bit of money when Trump was in office specifically because his administration was specifically promising them that they would make a lot of money if he was president and then they went ahead and really did make quite a bit of money and they are right now. Yeah. Good.

So that's the, that's kind of like, I'm just going to send you off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Epsteinscan.org. Yeah. Another great website that breaks down. Not only does it break down the files, it breaks down all the various relationships. It identifies the people by name that they're talking about, which is the kind of the stuff you need to run. And then J-Mail is also crushing it.

J-Mail is, of course, crushing it. And I've been listening to the Epstein Files Book Club with Jenna Friedman. A great podcast. She had her Twitter mysteriously disappear and delete and then restart under a different name. So this is, Jenna Friedman, if you don't know who Jennifer Friedman is, she's amazing political comedian, follow her career, it's fucking unbelievable. But she would torture Elon on Twitter. Oh, yeah. And then one day she woke up and the whole shit was deleted.

Greasy how that happens. Yeah. These guys are the most sensitive bitches in the face of the planet. Yeah, they really are. These guys just really can't handle comedians. These free speech fucking heroes are all, can't wait to shut us all up. But then the comedians also, what a shame. They just love, just, God, they treated comedians like currency.

That's where my rabbit hole went. I just started looking up every comedian's name and like whether they went and how and how it all looks. And I mean, I never knew them really. I definitely met him once or twice, but I wasn't friends with them. Do whatever you can to stay away from Bobby Slayton. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, Bobby Slaten. He probably needed the bump, to be honest with you.

Oh, Bobby Slayton is not doing well. But it's nice about Bobby Slayton. What we do know is he's available for private parties. Very available. Very available. Now, all of our other buddies that are, like, you know, Joe Rogan, he was joking. I guess he said, he was like, someone tried to get me to go to dinner. And I said, what are you high?

And it's like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I will say. If the child, if it was a baby elk, they would have got him there. If it was a racist South African, I guess they would have one. these fucking traitors. I had the least American person on the face of the planet. How did I get here? I'm surrounded by traders.

Right? Like, I'm surrounded by treasonous. How am I the most American of all of us? I hate this country. I hate these people. I will die for the right. I will fight to protect these people, though. I will fight to protect the.

I fucking, what am I doing out here? It's a fucking crazy time. And I think it's just like real quick. I just wanted to tell everybody if you're going through this rabbit hole, you need to take breaks. That's the reason why we're taking a break right now to talk about other super casual stuff. Like the kidnapping of Zavanna Guthrie's mother. Now, this story is just like some really fun stuff. I wanted to talk about this.

I just really hope that this helps like, I hope that Guthrie's chicken shack can use this as like an advertisement. Oh, honestly. And kind of perlay them because I don't like. We got the Guthrie. If she, if they, if Guthrie's from Calahassee, is Guthrie still around? Guthrie's is still around. It's a chain. It's not a big chain. But Keynes

stole their sauce, literally. Yes, we know this. We stole their whole bullshit. We know this. We know this. And so Keynes ran with it and they're across the nation. Guthrie's is left behind. I think of Guthrie's still better. Guthrie's definitely better. But I haven't had Guthrie since college. I had it more, I had it recently? Fucking awesome.

Is it as good as it was? It's just as good. No way. It's just as good. I'm going to Tallahassee soon to April 11th. I can't wait. have fucking guthries with P-Funk. Dude, there's a Guthrie's in New Mexico. Dude, they're all over the place. Yeah, no, they're great.

Yeah, so Guthrie's, use this. Whoa, I can get to a Guthrie's? You can get to a Guthrie's. All right, we've lost the play. I just wanted to say that, fucking Cates for stealing Guthrie's bullshit. I've heard him make this. I know. I heard of say this before.

Many times. Yeah, yeah. No, yeah, this is not, this is not a singular rant. I'm so hungry. Yeah, he's talking about it. He's just hungry. All right, here we go. Now, Savannah Guthrie, for those of you that are living under a rock, I think we covered it very, very quickly when it first hit. But the chicken, Henry.

Savannah Guthrie, she is, it's Good Morning America, right? And so she is a beloved, beloved anchor. Her mother was kidnapped on January 31st, Nancy Guthrie. Now, at first, obviously, they were holding the cards really close to the vest. Savannah Guthrie came out and said, we're willing to give the money. Against my original advice. Oh, yeah. Did I just listen to your advice?

No, my original advice is again, don't pay a fucking dime. Don't you dare negotiate with these terrorists. And you should call Liam Neeson. Yes. To go get him himself and he could go get, but I understand. Kill one of the bastards. Yeah, but now I understand it is, we're now in more serious territory. So the time has passed since I'm asking for money.

Yes. And now. We're going into the, we're into the third. week. It's the third week. What do we know about the case? We know that there was a video from the ring cam that was being fucked with. So we saw a guy in a mask, Bolliclava. He had some kind of body armor on. Well, you know when you're a kidnapping an 80 year old is how much body armor you need to have. Dude, it's Arizona. Everyone's strapped. Oh, I get it. I get

it. Gloves face mask. He's fucking with the thing. He's about five, he's like 5-9, 510, right? That's the only information we have. They now believe they have cleared the family. Well, they found the glove. You found one of the gloves. They found the gloves a couple miles away, then they sent it to Florida for DNA testing, good luck. And there was yeah, exactly. Oh, what a reputable place. That's a place with a little too much DNA

hanging around. It's Florida. So you've got there was blood that was inside of her home that matched DNA on the glove, apparently. They think that it's the same person. They have no record yet. We don't know. We know the record. Yeah, we don't know. My helping?

This is the only Nancy Guthrie coverage that comes with belching. What am I just doing? I'm a human man in here. They got the bomb. Yeah, well, I was thinking, first thing I knew is if it was me, I would have diced. I would have fucking completely stopped him in their trash.

No, I guess this is my question. You kidnap, we have no idea why they're doing this now. Team Z is now directly in negotiations with the guy. who says he knows the guy. He says, yeah, he says he's seen Nancy Guthrie and he has information, but he doesn't want to go to the cops because he has past crimes. He doesn't want to get arrested for it. And he said that they saw them go south of the border.

Yeah. Now, this is my question. Which ain't far. Not from Arizona. But my question is, is okay, your kidnapper, your job, you're going to get this woman. You get this 80-year-old woman. You're going to do it with, like, God knows why. It seems mostly it might have been, it seemed it was like for money,

but then they sent this. ransom note and then they didn't get in didn't get back yeah what happens if you kidnap an 80 year old woman and then she dies on you especially when she doesn't have her medicine apparently yep what do you do then go to mexico with a dead woman i mean you know they're not really checking everything all the time you know you can get into mexico a lot easier than you can get out no i guess that's true it's also one of those where i feel like because we had a bit of a debate a successful kidnapper gets the money.

Yes. A successful kidnapper doesn't... He's doing well. No, he's not. Well, I mean, they're not caught, which I'm very blown away by. You say that that's it, but that to me, no,

that's not what he was trying to do. He was trying to get money. How much money is her dead body worth? Nothing. Nothing? Absolutely nothing. I mean, I'd pay a little bit for my mom's body.

I mean, the most you're going to get out of me. I'm sorry, if you've already killed her. 10 grand? Eddie. Two grand. She's already dead. She's already fucking dead there. I'm not paying you 10 grand for a cold body.

All right? At that point, you bury her. You know what I mean? Tell me where you bury her. I'll come visit her. Honestly, you go, I'll pay. That costs two grand. I'll pay to barrier.

All right? You just send me a geolocation of where she is. I'll go visit her. because obviously clears up a lot of problems for me. Make it close to Cabo if you don't mind. If you don't mind just so that I can hit some of my, I'm trying to get to know the locals. No, this is, in fact, it's extremely sad.

I don't know what they were expecting to get out of this, and I don't think it is going to end well for anybody. Oh, man. When they thought it was the brother-in-law at first, and then they showed a picture of that guy, and I was like, they got him. He's like, I'm just because I look like shit. That poor bastard.

My wife. My sister's... Just because I'm ugly, you think I stole her? Just because my sister is literally one of the beloved hearts of America. And I'm a fucking drifter-looking railroad-working, not-me-need, child murderer-looking guy. I understand. Investigate me, but not for too long. You have to find the people who did this.

Honestly, clear me. I am unemployable. Please clear me. Getting one person to sign off on me or maybe help. All right. We got that's a horrible story. We know nothing else. So that's really it.

We don't know fucking anything else. And we're just sitting and waiting just like the rest of you. Yes. So who knows? So if you know, have any information, side stories, L-P-O-T-L-G-Mel.com, so I can send that information to the police and we can get the reward. Yes.

And if the awards just give it directly to the... Or you should probably just give it directly to the Arizona police, but if you want to cut us in on it, that'd be great. Yeah. And then when we get the reward, we're going to put it towards free circumcitions for anybody. Free circumcitions. Free circumcitions, I'm going to bring my guillotine.

We're going to have you guys come out here. There's nothing barbaric about it. It's completely normal behavior. Nothing barbaric about it. Nothing off-putting about it at all. Live from your blade. All right. Let's talk about something fun.

Oh, yeah, like family annihilation? Yeah. Is that what you want to talk about? Because I have this story. All right, go ahead. Now, this is a brutal story. Another one. Why don't I just throw it on the pile?

So this is, this was, they were ever at the Rio in Las Vegas. You ever been to the Rio? I have. It sucks. Yeah. It's not nice. It seems to be dirty. Yeah, yeah.

But if you know, if you want to see Penn and Teller, you go to the Rio. That's where the comedy seller is. But then you leave. That's at the Rio. That's fun. But you go to the Rio and you leave because some people get so fucking sad there. Yeah. They check in, but they don't check out. This is a sad story.

Mother daughter found dead parrot murder suicide at the Rio at a cheerleading competition. Give me an S. S. Give me a you. Suicides a long thing for us. I know. I'm sorry. Now, this is the, I'm extremely sorry. They were over at the Utah Extreme Cheer competition, which is.

honestly, this is been extreme. I mean, this is extreme. Yeah, this is the most extreme cheering I've ever heard of. Yes. And so she 1045 a.m., she shot a little girl, Taunia McGeehan, shot her little girl. Addy Smith, she was, Addy Smith, he was 12, and then shot herself. Now, the thing that it seems to be what came to a head was that they had a nine, she had a nine-year custody battle for Addy. Yeah.

Yeah, she's going through a divorce. going through a lot, right? The lady's going through quite a bit, as you could probably tell. And it said, apparently, she got really upset about getting some mean texts from the other cheer moms. Oh, really? Yeah. This is a cheer mom led to murder? This is cheer moms got together, encouraged her to commit suicide. Really? No, not really, but like basically just said, we don't like your daughter. Your daughter is bad for the team. Your daughter's a new thing. They were like doing the thing that cheer moms do. Oh, see, I was like, for two seconds, I was like, oh, these cheer moms are like, do it, do it, do it.

Get the con, get the con. Telling her to, like, be nicer to her daughter. No, no, opposite. They were saying that her daughter sucked. They were telling her her daughter sucked and that she was bringing down the team and that Tania sucked and that they were all like mad about it because she was a new ad to the team. And honestly, man, it's hard out there. But don't let these bitches get you down. Remember when we talked about Eleanor Roosevelt?

Yes. The quote. The quote, oh yes, the quote was, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. So be like Eleanor Roosevelt. Eat pussy. Get out there and don't let these people bring you down. All right. You're at the cheerleading conference.

Your job at us a cheerleader. Yeah, you are a cheerleader. And I, I'm like a blame at all, obviously. She was a 12-year-old girl, but this is the time to really put her skills to the test. It's just crazy that these cheer moms are like, your girl is sad. And they're not like checking on her mental health or well-being. None. They're just like, she's going to fuck up the competition.

She sucks. Your little girl is a fucking waste of space. I haven't seen her smile big enough. Yes. They really, it was really rough. But Tonyo was obviously very upset. Yeah, well, you know, maybe it's because they had to stay at the Rio and not the fucking Mandalay Bay. Honestly, the Rio, it's not the Luxor.

I mean, if it's not the luxur, then tear it down. I mean, it's just, it's not the luxor, but it's like now we know another place where people have committed suicide on the strip. I know the luxor is a big, this is the first suicide at the Rio. It's Vegas, Eddie. It's only happy there. It would ever be sad in Vegas. That's kind of what I'm even sad about. This woman brought sadness to Las Vegas.

There's nothing bad ever happens there. Not once. It's not built-on mob activity. All those places is built on crime, fucking human trafficking, and pure deviance. It's not just the suicide capital of America, according to a 2004 CBS article. Who would ever do that? Who would ever check into the four seasons, Las Vegas? Like that guy did in the top of the article blows his brains out.

At the four seasons, Las Vegas is another one. Right there. That's the problem. You go to Vegas. There are no four, there aren't four seasons. There's three at best. Maybe. What?

You got golf? Tourism. I'm trying to think what other seasons are. A rodeo season. It's a big season. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. Yeah, we saw that point. I don't know if we covered this with the seriousness of people wanted it. Oh, what did you do? Well, here's a positive story. I'm coming in with a positive story.

There's also a big murder suicide in Bulgaria. Yeah, and the hardest part about a Bulgarian mass suicide is fucking switching legs. You know what that's from? You know what that is? No, I don't. Bulgarian squats? Bulgarian squats? Yeah.

Oh, you're getting too into working out. Oh, it was a working out thing. Oh. Bulgarian squats. You never did that in the football team, or is that just what you were doing on top of your, the coach from Europe? Hey, come on. He was nice. That's a Bulgarian squad.

He was a friend. Oh, that? Yeah. Oh, okay. It's when you dip, you do a little dips with your niece. Oh, you normally hold a weight. She's got nice pants. Oh, that's what you notice.

All right. Nice pants. Here's the story that. My, my. favorite story of the fucking week is a Saskatchewan man fights off a starving moose with his fists and a shovel and a 22 to save his mother. Now this is okay normally when we do

these animal, man fights animal attack. The man is awful. Always bad and we don't like them and we joke. We last week we just covered all these stuff. This week we're covering elephant attacks. Yes. Right so we're discovering all it so but this is a nice like he had to fight this moose. This is a true, honorable fight to the death against a dying moose and a man. All right, so this moose, it's cold

out, negative 40 Celsius apparently. We're in the living fuck. Where's he on the moon? Saskatchewan. Jesus Christ. So this moose is malnourished. This place is to be culled an insulation. We just see it a while. That's cold.

Jesus Christ. So this malnourished moose crawls up to the house because there's a heating vent and it just wants a little warmth. All right? But it's like really thin and really sick and it's dying okay because there's not enough food for it's too cold out. The guy's

mom goes outside to dick out the trash or some shit. The moose sees her, she starts screaming to try and scare it away the moose is fucking furious beats the shit out of the old lady. Well to be honest, it sounds like she like irritated the moose or something. I mean, you got to scream at the moose. But what was it

was like, what was it trying to do? Stay warm because there was a heating vent that was leaning up against. It was trying to live. Okay. It is, is a hint of sadness in the story. Why did she just let it be her to the heating van? Because I think it saw her and Moose are very violent.

Oh, Moose will fuck your ass up. I found a video of him telling the story if you want to check it out real quick. Oh, yeah. Is it one of those things where if she's on her period or something, like Moose get worse? Meas, right? Are my wrong?

Like honestly. Like a beer. This is a man, this is a man moose, though. Oh, but he had a fight. But why he, she attacked the woman in the first place. Because it's starving and it's dying and it's going to get really defensive and moose are already violent on the bottom line. Let me tell the quick version of the story because I only read it once and I want to see how right I am. And then we'll play his version.

So he sees the moose on top of his mother. He goes up and he's like, get off my mom, Moose. And he fucking punches it in the face a bunch. He splits its lid open. Is it reminder of your childhood? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the moose is like, you fucking piece of shit. And Moose is like, starts like kicking his mom again, you know?

And she's like, oh, God, before. My fucking head. My fucking body's hurting this shit. And then he's like, all right. And he gets a big ass shovel. He starts slapping the moose in the face with the shovel. Moose is like, come on, bro. I ain't going to fucking take me down on those shovel.

You think that that's what you're going to do their partner? He's like, you stay right there. Don't move. You stay on my mother. You stay right there. He goes in his house and he grabs 22 rifle, all right? 22, small bullets. Yeah.

Shoots the moose directly in the eyeball. Moose unfazed. shoots the moose in the other eyeball unfazed, starts shooting it over and over again in the same spot in its head until these 22s eventually penetrate its brain and it dies

on the spot. True fight to the death. That is a hard fight. That's a gun fight. There's a gun punch. And these guys, look at him, he's so nice looking. He just looks like kind. It's a true kindness.

I heard one guy called out. Those little snub nose. I saw some was gotten to a fucking hole of self-defense videos. And he calls those ear-nose and throat guns. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like those are noses and he's like, because you got a mashed up against the guy's face.

All right, let's hear his story and see how close that was. Sean Tuffnell says the showdown happened in Bean Fate on the morning of January 22nd when he found his mom stuck below the moose. My mom decided to come out to start a vehicle. The moose was laying right against the two vents. She come around the corner here, just startled the moose. Tufnell's mom, Angie Tuffnell, tried to run back into the house when the moose pushed her down. Tuffinil came out of the house after hearing his mom yell for help.

He put his ears right back, which means they're not going to run. So then I took about two steps and I punched him in the face right here. His head went up in the air. You're a big boy, too. I just took one step back and he swung his foot at me and just missed my face. Coming to terms with a situation he had now found himself in, Tufnoe says he grabbed his shovel and tried to fight back, only to have the moose charge him into the doorframe.

Then he went and he turned and looked to her again, and he put his ears back, and he went to go to her, and then I went out and I grabbed him by the ear and, like, the bridge of the nose and pulled him because I knew I was safe in the doorway. And then he come right back in, his teeth were out like that, trying to get me. I end up to get him over top of the head like this. He picked me up and I hit the door frame a couple times. Holy shit.

That's when he broke my rib. At that point, Tufnell says he called for Dave, his mom's boyfriend to bring out a gun. After some more commotion, Tuftna was able to retrieve the gun and shot the moose over a dozen times. You can see that stain is actually where all the blood was. Both Tuftanil

and his mom were able to get away from the fight with treatable injuries. I have quite a big gash in my leg and the inside of the leg here. And when he made this gash with his hoof,

he slid down to my to my hill and he made it bruise. You're bumming me out, lady. Get back to the boy. Shut up, lady. The moose's body was then taken to Saskatoon for testing. The Canadian Wildlife Health Cooperative said in a statement that the adult male moose was in very poor conditions

but ultimately died for multiple gunshot wounds. Tough male's mom is just grateful for her son and hopes this doesn't happen to anyone else. So I'm lucky. to be alive. Very lucky. You don't sound like it. Luck is thanks to him, to my son.

Yeah, thank your fucking son. He fought like a savage, I said. Saw me out. Global news. Wow. Fucking incredible story. Why do I feel like she's like she made her, how do I put this? Only a mother can do a feel like make a vibe that feels like it's almost he should feel

guilty for killing the moose. For like helping her survive. Like there's something about this. Where she's like, because you know it's the type of lady that's always like, I should be dead. I should be dead. I always dreamt a moose would take me from the family. I wanted to go this way. You took this from me.

One thing I was supposed to do was have my teeth chewed off by moose. Stay away from my mom, Moose. You're like, no, this is how I'm supposed to go. I saw in dream. I talked to Fortune Teller woman. I don't want to kill you. You move. You don't kill the moose.

Let the moose kill me. It is my fat. You can't kill the moose. It is my fat. It sends me to heaven. See your miserable father. Well, I'm certain that, honestly, it all worked out. Except for the moose.

Except for the moose. Moose got fucking absolutely just crazy murdered. Yeah. Hey. Don't attack an old lady. It was sick. If that moose was relatively healthy, he would not have won the fight. No, he would have torn.

to shreds, but also go for him. Yeah. Here we go. We got another. That's a little piece of advice for everyone out there. If you're going to fight a moose, make sure it's sick. Now with two cues. All right.

Nice. That a new metal moose. All right. All right. So I think that we've covered quite a bit today. I think we've got some letters. You don't want to talk about the paramedic coming in the fireman's chili? Yeah, I can talk about it.

I mean, we don't need to go too far into it. It's really not that deep. It's really not that deep. It was right on top. No, but the... No, but apparently there is this paramedic who was like coming and pissing all over the fucking fire station. Was he just trying to do a prank, a quote, unquote, funny prank? You know, at the beginning of the article, it seemed like it was all a prank, but now it seems like he's just like a sick fuck who likes to cover shit in his own common piss.

There's a problem with pranks. I'm okay with a prank. A prank. You do it once. We have said this. How many times have we said this? Yeah. A prank is funny.

Yes. So a prank, it could be annoying, but the goal is to laugh. Yeah. Right? That is the goal in the end. You go, oh, that's it.

Not the, oh my God. You put your fucking ejaculate all over my security equipment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You pissed in the ice machine and mixed in. Yeah, that's not a prank. That's not a prank. You know what a prank is?

A rubber snake. Yes. That's a prank. That's a fireman are used to that. They love that kind of prank. You know, it's a prank fucking one of your buddies' wives. That's kind of a prank. In Firemen.

It depends. Yeah, firemen, they got loose rules. Firemen, they fuck each other's wives all day. That's all they do is swamp wives when they're sitting around waiting for shit to do. No, I mean, between their naps and spaghetti. Yeah. A lot of spaghetti is there. We know what's going on.

I know what you guys do. Yeah, we like to come for the. fireman. Yeah, yeah. Living off the cloud of 9-11 for 20-something years. We know what you do sit around waiting for another 9-11 to happen so you can do whatever you want. We know what you

each one of you guys wants your own. Sorry, honestly, we really appreciate our fireman. Please save us. We love, we're sorry. We need you in L.A. All right, let's look at this one letter. You want a new Stinger? We got a couple of Stingers. Oh, of course. You wanted a funk.

Stinger, so we got a couple. Yeah, I mean, we got a couple of them. I'll play you one. I'm always surprised when people just do the things that we randomly asked. I love it. It fills me with the light. Yeah, man. Here you go. Straight fun. I want straight fog. Listener-da-bap.

Yeah. So, but do you know. Cats on the left presents. Side stories. Side stories. Side stories. Listener emails. That's awesome

That was really great Yeah you especially did the thing Because you know how That's how Michael Jackson wrote songs Oh Well, Bapap to dobs All right

Shut up for a second Listen My name's Quincy Jones And you gotta shut up for a second All right Let me fuck you Well you got enough of a woman Like exterior

Why here we go First of all I got several emails We talked last week about the Olive Garden chef who committed suicide by sick and inside in the friar. And I got two emails from health inspectors. Oh, okay. That Eddie reiterated what Eddie said, which is, you know, it does clean it right out. I told you.

They're like, that bleach cleans it right out. You wouldn't even know it's in there. Biologically, it's gone. Because I brought this up to Natalie. I said, how would you feel about going back to that olive garden? She was like, I wouldn't go. And I was like, you know, they said it would be completely clean. It just seems, to me as well, I wouldn't want to immediately go to the place where the chef committed suicide because I want the chef to be happy.

Well, that particular chef. Not all, most chefs hate their lives. Yeah, of course. But everyone does. Yes. Everybody works. Yeah, but chefs are a little more violent about it. I love chefs.

Me too. Real chefs. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Me too. And I like our, I like our cooks, too. Yeah. And, you know, Natalie was right about that, but just right about not going to.

to the Olive Garden in general. Well, we all know that Olive Garden. I also got weird, several, passionate, like, people sticking up for Olive Garden. Oh, really? And you're wrong. You're objectively wrong. No, you're wrong. And you've got to find a new place to go.

Okay? I'm not, I'll step back on the circumcision stuff. I'll learn. I'll learn and I'll hear. I'll open up discourse about. I'm happy for people with that. I will happy. But if you try to tell me, I know, because I've, again, what I said, I had the ultimate

olive garden experience. I've been there for a wedding reception and I've been there for a wake. And it's not good. That's like when they're supposed to be at their best. Yeah. Right? At a wake? You'd think at a wake, they would really do their best.

Where would you put Olive Garden above or below Buga de Beppo? Below. Below, right? Yeah, because Buba de Beco sucks. Disgusting. Horrible. Great decor. Better ambience.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I agree. Rob's looking at it. of those puzzles. You've never been to a book of De Beppo. No, I have. It's just so expensive. How is it so bad if it's so expensive? I've never paid for a meal there. I always eat for free. That's how you like it.

They know me. They know me there. They know me there. Mr. Lawson, you're nice to table. Next to the popistach. I just think that Olive Garden exists for a reason because there's certain places in the United States, like say, hmm, Wyoming, Nebraska. Hey, where there aren't nice Italian restaurants. Better chains.

Kansas has great Italian food. Carabas. I don't know why I'm going to bat for them right now. Carrabas is a better chain. Carabas is a better chain. The fucking what tells a better nut noodle factory. Spaghetti factory. It's a Canadian chain.

Pizzoulies. Pizzoules is fine. Just saying, these small towns, they're lucky if they can get one. I just named four chains. I just named you can find a chain. Yeah. Macaroni grilled. Sparrow.

No, that's what I was looking for. Macaroni grill. Tony Grill is also extremely good. That's a little expensive. It is, sure, but are you going on a date or not? Yeah, it's nice. Same thing, or if you're going to the... And then, unfortunately, the Mussolini of all of them, it's a cheesecake factor.

Oh, absolutely. God, but I will say, in my experience, Olive Garden will let you drink underage. Yes. So if you're trying to do that, try it in Olive Garden. If you're 14 and you like... If you like Puerto Rossi, you're going to... Love. Oh, good. Are you here?

Let me get this little letter, so. I heard your story about the Olive Garden Chef who committed suicide. Cook. Let's call me, cook. He's a cook. And I wanted to share the following when it came to business, because not closing when an employee dies. My roommate in college worked for Universal Studios Hollywood. Ah, I've been there, punch.

Well, I love that place. That's great. She mostly did just, you know, janitorial work in the lower lot. But when she went to clock out at a shift change once, she was told by management to not discuss this afternoon's events. So having no. idea what the fuck they were talking about. She asked around. Turns out

an employee who had quit the day before came back that day, shot his girlfriend, and then shot himself in the upper lot. LAPD came, that area of the park was closed for a few hours where they cleaned up the blood. Upper parking lot? Yeah, the upper, no, it was in

the Despicable Me area. Really? And apparently this part of the park is so popular for employee suicides. I've been there. Makes sense. Not near the minions. By the minions. Oh, no.

They call it. They're evil. A funny little joke that they call it amongst themselves is the super suicide fun land. Oh. And instead of the super silly fun land. Tendentially related, but this is also a part of the park where you can smoke. Oh.

But that because also the part explicitly geared towards young children. So they let them, what, like smoke behind the rides there? Yeah. It makes sense that you're going to smoke in areas. Yeah. They don't want the smokers going all the way to the bottom. you've got to go back up all those escalators. You need them back to work really fast.

Escalators are specifically scares. You don't have to climb. Well, I mean, you know it takes forever. Yeah, but if you're a smoker, you don't care. You're waiting for death. Yeah. I mean, if I were to choose somewhere to kill myself at Universal Studios, I mean, I feel like the Despicable Me area is the best choice.

I agree. Honestly, I would do it on the Simpsons ride. Simpson's ride? I would probably go just for the, no, they need to change it. And you know what I would probably do? They're losing it soon. But if I was going to do it obviously, I would do it on a White House tour. Oh, yes.

So I want to say thank you guys so much for joining. Just like everyone else who's talking about the Epstein Files, we're joking. We would never kill ourselves. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not sad. I don't do high-risk behavior. Our lives are fucking phenomenal. Super boring.

I don't do anything. I take no physical risks. If you see anything happen to me, no. I ain't skydiving. None of that. I'm barely eating chicken wings these days. I just got my health by just my blood report back. My heart's fine.

My heart's doing great. My cholesterol's down. I don't have diabetes no more. No one's trying. I ain't trying to die. Spoiler, Eddie, because you never fully talked about your pre-diabetes disorder. Well, I had pre-diabetes and I got diabetes and now like it went down back down the pre-dibes. No, because I was very scared because both of my parents died of diabetes and I just didn't

want to joke about it. But you. Beat it. For now, I mean, it's with you forever. You're maintaining it in a way that I'm super proud of you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look really good. I'm going to live.

You don't look like shit. Thank you. I appreciate that. You don't look like shit either. I look fine. Both of us could look way worse. And I'll tell you what, in our 20-sutton year relationship, I think we're most attractive now. This is somehow, somehow.

Yeah. This is as good as it gets. This is as nice as I can look. You should have seen when Henry and I, when I was 280 and Henry was 320, We were a pair. Ooh. Well, when you saw us rolling in, you knew shit was about to get loose, man. God.

That fucking Vegas seafood buffet never saw us coming, man. Oh, man. Then one in Glendale, California. Oh, yeah. Always get landlocked seafood. Always get landlocked city named seafood and another landlocked city that it's not in. That's where you get your buffet food, always. Yes.

Oh, he did it. They did it in Jurassic parking? No, that's where I would do it. Oh, that's what you do, Jurassic Parking? Yeah, I love Jurassic Parking. Jurassic Park. Well, then why would you do it there? Just so I could always be there.

Oh, wow. Cute. That's sweet. Just like Robert Duvall. We chose wrong. You haven't only chose wrong for our, we chose a lot. Robert DeVall would have been an awesome death pool choice. Oh, for sure.

But I didn't want to, you know, I didn't want that, you know. He's 95. What a great life. Super, super great life. A lot of good ones died this year. But we're not doing that right now. No, we're not. just go out there and try to live your own Robert Duval like life

Go to Patreon.com slash last podcast and the left. You can listen to the show with no ads. You also can see last stream on the left live, 6 p.m. PSD every week on Tuesday. And man, do we have some fun? We have a bunch of new stuff on there. You can see we are $25 video tier submitting videos in order for it to show for our brand new show.

Last stream on the left after hours, which will be beginning next Tuesday. We will be doing that for the very first time and go check us out on the Patreon. and we're going to be starting our brand new movie podcast. So we're going to be putting up this, either this week or next week. I'll be talking with our crew. We're going to be putting up a poll of directors that you would like for us to consider in our movie podcasting that we're doing.

So we're going to put that, we're going to pull it all up. You're going to choose amongst our selection. And we'll pick the top two. Yes. And do you want to say who they are? Might as well get people excited. Well, right now we want people to choose between. chose two and you chose three.

Yes. All right, you want to tell them. Tell the people who you chose. Well, I want to do Jan Schenkmeier. Uh-huh. I want to do Alejandro Jodorowski. Yes. Or I want to do...

Do I have to watch a bunch of Jornaowski? Yeah, you might. Depends if they get us. Have you seen the other ones? I've seen El Topo and Holy Mountain. They're great. I mean, they're great movies. The Songwreys fantastic.

It just make you so upset. Yeah. The animal murder. Wait to you see Jan Schenkmeier. Yeah. Then also the other one is I can't wait for Jan Schenkmeyers and then Andre Tarkovsky.

Yeah and we're going to do all of these eventually we just want to know who you want us to do first and my choices were William Friedkin because I want to see his whole catalog and Walter Hill who's a guy who I just discovered that he just made a bunch of action movies and some of them are awful and some of them are just fucking awesome. I love that.

I watched a movie called Extreme Prejudice last night. What a blast. So yeah, get into these weird directors, these older directors. I absolutely. And the miseducation of Ed Larson the Bob Lazar episodes now available on Patreon for the $10 tier and up. Come see Henry and I on the road.

CrimeWave at C.com slash left to get tickets to see Henry and I at CrimeWave at C 2.0 in February of 2027. Plan ahead. Go have fun. We're going to get wet. We're going to have such. It's a great vacation. The pool party is the most fun. I can't wait to do that. It's the most work Henry and I've ever done in the show.

It was wild. It was a blast. Anybody you saw that knows how ridiculous that fucking show was. Yeah. And knows that we're just going to do it again. And now we actually kind of know how to do it. Yeah. So we're very, very excited.

It's going to be like, if it wasn't as much fun as the last time. Yeah. I would not be pushing at this hard. Yeah, no. I talked to the staff and they're going to get me a really nice connect four to beat the fuck out of all of you with. So that's going to be good. On March 14th, we're going to be in Urbana, Illinois. On April 26th, Lexington, Kentucky.

May 7th, Netflix is a joke here in L.A. Henry and I are going to be at the Avalon Theater at 945. Come check that out. Not a too many stars. It's too many stars. Okay? Come see two. Fuck yeah.

Fuck those fucking stars. You see them all the time. They're all in on it. Come see a couple of people that are literally, see some people who are literally as far away from the machine as possible. Not allowed to participate. Yes, come to our show. Our show's better than.

their show. May 30th, Rochester, New York and June 28th, London, Ontario. And of course, I'm going to be going to be doing some stand-up here in L.A. April 3rd at the Lyric Hyperion with Amber Nelson. P-Fug Fest, baby, in Tallahassee, April 11th, and Vistar Stadium. That is the Jumbo

Shrimp Stadium with Danny Bedrojan and Holman McNeely, and that's going to be on April 12th. Come see those shows. They're going to be a blast. Tickets for everything are available at edictunes.com. Yep. Yeah, that's right. I put it all on there. Go to Last Podcast and the Left, of course. Always buy your tickets

through the links that we provide. Don't buy these secondhand tickets. It's never us. No, ever. Go to Last Podcastonleff.com. It's the only way to get them. We'd like to thank Ian over at Floor Audio for that amazing Stinger. That was great, buddy. Great fucking work. CEP Funk Fest. Yeah, bro. Hell Satan. You know what? Fucking hail him again.

Live every day, fighting for the fucking liberty of people, fighting for the liberty of people you hate. Love the fact that America is all about that. We're all in here. fucking, we're all in here fucking together and the only way we're going to get out of this and we're laughing our way to the fucking guillotine with all these fuckers blood running down the streets.

Yeah, eat that jerky y'all. Enjoy it.