Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Marcus Meets a Ghost

Episode Date: May 9, 2024

Henry & Marcus bring you this week's weirdest stories and true-crime news… but first - the boys recap Henry’s 40th Birthday trip to New Orleans, Marcus makes firsthand contact with a ghost, the Gr...ogu debate comes to a close, another Boeing Whistleblower found dead, the suspicious “suicide” of Mica Miller, a serial pooper desecrates headstones in Michigan cemetery, and much, much MORE!

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hold primates listening, it is I, Numitor 479. According to our studies of your puny mammalian race, we discovered you like very good coffee. And while it is our evolutionary purpose to cause you psychic torment, we want you awake and vivacious to give it. So try our new blend from Spring Hill Jack coffee reptilian in the morning our proprietary blend of lightly roasted Kokaios will have you immediately energized upon emerging from the pain coaca with all your slippery new eggs
Starting point is 00:00:40 Thanks, honey I'm cold blooded. Mmm. Egg's a Spring Hill Jack and last hot gas on the left. I'm ready to get out there and eat some babies. Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton. There's no place to escape to. This is the last hot gas.
Starting point is 00:01:03 On the left. Side stories? Yeah, the bunker was cast. On the left. Side stories? Yeah, you're a bunch of little glades. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories! Yeah. Yeah, us noughts. Sounds good to me.
Starting point is 00:01:21 Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Aye, sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Aye, sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Sounds good to me. Les élèbons l'ont-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t- Rolled up my friend, but now it's time to get back to white Or after we watch interview with a vampire and you forget that Brad Pitt always calls it New Orleans Not good in the film. Natural pout though. I think he's got bigger gums. Very good pout. Very very good pout. Welcome to Side Stories. I'm Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Marcus Parks.
Starting point is 00:02:07 We're back from our vacation. I gotta say thank you so much to all of the incredible people that put together my 40th birthday. Oh, of course. I had an incredible time in New Orleans. It was super, not just fun, I learned a lot. I met some people, I met some listeners out there,
Starting point is 00:02:23 had a blast. Yeah, I met some great listeners too. I to say thank you straight up to the fucking man. That Parkway Diner is good at Parkway Bakery Got great sandwiches. I put that throw that out there commander's palace hooked it up I just want to say man who is fucking good-ass time. I am recovering. Yeah, but I feel good I feel like I I partied responsibly. I feel like we both partied responsibly The only night we really went fucking nuts is we went Wednesday We went and saw that that band called Game of Bones. Yeah, that was five trombone players I was good that I'm credible five trombones. What do you think? That's too many trombones turns out not enough trombones
Starting point is 00:02:59 Not enough trombones my friend. I could have used two or three more, but we lazy Trombones my friend. I could have used two or three more, but we lazy I am more French than ever and it but it is good to be back in front of the microphone I am 40 years old, but Natalie described it now I'm no longer like an old version of young. Yeah, I'm a young version of old. That's nice, isn't it? Yeah, wow, so I'm like a boy again. I'm a child again Why is that depressing to me? It is Real mindset leads to veneers, then you see me with the big fillers like the bigger like Margaret's I just have to say I cannot live without the lentil soup at Erawan. Like, you know, I cannot live.
Starting point is 00:03:46 I will die without it. Oh my God, I miss seeing Crystal Leah there. Oh, my favorite man to see at the Erawan. Just freely spending his money. Love to see him. But that's not even why we're having Marcus on here today. It is not. Obviously, everybody wants to hear about Eddie.
Starting point is 00:04:04 We're going to get to the updates from last week's episode or before the vacations episode. But first I want to talk about that. We got to experience something extremely special. We worked with the group and I've I've now I've been singing their praises for a long time and they did not disappoint. They are truly some of the best in the business. French Quarter Phantoms is a ghost tour company, New Orleans We work with them all the time, you know, like I've mentioned them a lot ghost or answer
Starting point is 00:04:31 they do great true crime towards well, but Something special happened So one thing that was one thing I wanted to talk about that we didn't get to spend time for it was like the first Time I ever got to see the Lori mansion open. I tried everything in my power to get inside of the L'Olori mansion. It's very difficult. But I was outside of Verdi Mart waiting for a sandwich. And I looked up because Verdi Mart is across the streets, caddy corner to the L'Olori mansion.
Starting point is 00:04:55 And I have never seen it open before. All of the windows were open. The doors were open. They were having a big party. It must have been for Jazz Fest. And it was fascinating because I From one of the managers of the French quarter phantoms I won't name any specific names so they won't leak that they told me shit about the
Starting point is 00:05:13 Layout of the little ory mansion and how it has been redone and how it is kind of got like a The way he put it. it's a bit over the top. Well, we got a listener email right after we did our Madame LaLaurie series who said the same thing, that it's very gaudy inside. There's an entire wall that's just fur. Yeah, there's a fur-covered room. There's also a sex dungeon. There's a lot of stuff. They kind of play into the fun history behind the building.
Starting point is 00:05:43 But I had this fascinating moment of watching a ghost tour pull up and I was watching the ghost tour tell the story about the house as the people that were inside the house on the balcony smoking cigars, watched the ghost tour tell stories about the house as we were, and then like, I'm sitting there
Starting point is 00:06:03 and as the guy's telling stories, I'm correcting his version of the story because he's doing the super funked up ghost tour version Yeah of the story and I'm doing the reality of it to the other group of people than are building around me Honestly, it was a blast but it felt like this like really fucked up scenario where the Lori people are watching me watch them Watch these guys talk about that and it felt very like heavy very Interesting a lot of layers on that. So that's New Orleans all over baby lot of layers And so we asked French Quarter Phantoms. I was like, okay. I'm 40. I'm a boy again. I I gotta do something interesting What what can we do?
Starting point is 00:06:40 And so they decided to lead us on a bit of a ghost hunt and I don't want to talk about the specifics because I know it's their IP. Yeah, of course. So I don't want to tell you the stories that they told or where they took us but they took us to a location in New Orleans. It was a bar that was a former brothel and they told a story about a young unfortunate woman that had been in this place when it was a brothel and they died by suicide and it was this extremely sad story but they talked, they took us upstairs so they also saw a listener was playing music. What was his name? I forget his name. There's a guy who was playing music he did his great beautiful voice. Beautiful voice. If you take the French Quarter phantoms tour it's the bar they
Starting point is 00:07:23 sometimes stop at if you take the big tour. I don't wanna name it because I don't wanna bust it for them. But the guy who sings there regularly is very talented. And so we went upstairs to like the manager's area. And he sits- It's just an office. It's got a kitchenette, it's an office, but-
Starting point is 00:07:38 It's cool, yeah, it's all modernized in there now. But he, the leader of our tour, the manager- You're not like in an old time, it's not like dressed up like an old time brothel or anything like that. No, it's got like printers and shit and stuff that's just like laying around. Like old stuff from the bar hanging out inside of it. And he begins to tell us the story. And then also what's really funny is that our specific group, I love our crew.
Starting point is 00:08:01 So it's all of like, you know, it's like Murderfist and various members of LPN. And we're sitting in this like little tiny room and he's telling the story and he began, he's like, you know, you know, basically sort of explained about how New Orleans is based off of the work of enslaved people and sex workers pretty much the entire town was built on. They would, because it was five to one men to women. So they had a truck in sex workers, quote unquote truck end. and they always they always get stuck in traffic That's crazy They should travel travel from noon to three and so they get in they basically they every brothel in
Starting point is 00:08:34 New Orleans has got a different flavor. They got a bunch of different things They got a bunch of different styles, you know, like one which he said I want you to guess he said it would say every other form of sexuality possible but then the one thing they would never name that was always forbidden was sex in the French fashion and so he's like let me guess can I ask any of you guess what the French fashion is and we're all like pissing on a dead woman sucking out the piss, carving the eyes out of an infant shit and all the infant dead infant's face fucking the infant. It's eating shit. You take the shit out of a dead man's ass and you and you stuff it inside a lady. You eat the shit out of the ass.
Starting point is 00:09:11 And he's just like, no, no, no, no. It's um, it was oral sex. We're all like, oh. Oh, okay. You asked us. You asked me. So that's French style, huh? Oh, yeah, oral sex. I thought it was when you shove a wedge of brie inside of a dead girl and then you look to see if you could see it in her mouth. It's like, no, no, no, people were on hygienics. It was blow jobs. And I was like, oh, interesting.
Starting point is 00:09:35 And so he tells us this story and he's like, so this room has been, has gotten some activity and I have various tools and he put out a ghost box which we always kind of feel like I Was just looking to have fun. I was expecting nothing. He's bringing out toys and letting us play with them That's it. That's it. It was like we're walking around not guiding us. Not really just giving us toys We had a couple EMF readers we had a couple little things that were like they would light up for various temperature changes and EMF changes and and there was a Ball like put a ping pong ball out and he was looking but one of the things that he used Which I'd never seen before I knew this two sets of dowel rods
Starting point is 00:10:15 And so what they were were two metal like kind of like sleeves on the diviner Yeah, they were diviner. Yeah, but they weren't traditional diviner tools, which are done in sort of like a stick They're not dowsing right? It's not a dowsing rod, but it's these two things He's two sort of things so they were metal rods in an L shape They would go into a little tubes that you would hold in your hand They're kind of loose the two little L shape things are like kind of loose They're able to swing able to swing back and forth And so basically he said we like to set up a series of parameters what goes on in this room
Starting point is 00:10:45 So we set up our like, okay Stuff for you know, like we'll turn on the ghost box and we'll let that roll one What we'll do is we'll kind of generally talk and introduce ourselves and hang out in this room and see what happens and these doweling Rods will set up this idea that will ask questions and the doweling rods if they swing wide Opposite wise it means yes, but they swing wide opposite wise, it means yes. But if they cross over each other, it means no. I'm like, all right, so we kind of like futz around for a while and do very shit. And then Jared, one of the members of murder fist, he picks up the doweling rods and he's
Starting point is 00:11:17 fucking with it. And he notices that they stand straight. So it's like you kind of balance them. So they stand straight. But the one thing is, is that they didn't stay straight for everyone no like I couldn't use them I had them and they were flopping all around there were a few people who grabbed them and like they're flopping all over the place but you know some people you grab them and they just go straight forward pin
Starting point is 00:11:38 straight and so he started asking questions and the things started working so we asked several questions, defining what they were talking to. We said, is this an entity that's attached to this property in some way? I mean it, they just open to yes. Started asking like, are you the person that's the subject of the story?
Starting point is 00:12:01 Close to X, to no. And he said that not only were they and I watched it I have pictures of it I'm standing in front of him reacting to it I mean there there what why does a sheet there are 15 people watching him yes not only what is the sheep it started sweating yeah yes and so that he said when they crossed he said that he couldn't pull them apart whether he wanted to or not they sort of link like they were fucking magnets and then he linked across and we all sat there I Mean it it was wild other things started going off like Natalie was holding an EMF reader in her like on her lap
Starting point is 00:12:32 And it bounced off and Jared then said did you just try to speak to Natalie and it went swung open? Yes, we all fucking freaked out. Everyone's is like holy fucking shit Then he's like there's weird kind of garbled stuff coming through the ghost The the uh the radio spirit box is running this entire time Yeah, it's kind of like guy mumbling's coming out and our leader was like see the thing here is like So what it's it's it wouldn't just say random things if it says stuff like there's something trying struggling either coming through or something's Pinging this machine and it's doing something Jared then asked the question. Are you having problems?
Starting point is 00:13:09 Using some of the high-tech toys that we're using right now to communicate with us and I swear to Fucking the devil himself and I will and I will attest to this as well as well everybody else in the room I'd scares on the back of my neck standing up the ghost box said kind of Like it came out clear as a fucking die It just came out and up until that point it had been all garbled because that was one of the things that I sort of Misunderstood about spirit boxes is that I didn't realize how fast yeah, you see it's running through that the channels Yeah, an extremely high rate. Yeah, I didn't realize how fast, like I thought it ran through a little bit slower. So every once in a while, like, so you're just getting, you know, everyone to like,
Starting point is 00:13:48 yes, oh, hi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it is just it's bringing like just these garbled messages that are running through so fast. And it really was clear as day, kind of. And then we sat there like, OK, and then we asked him the question, he's like, what's your favorite drink? And then when it said vodka, I mean, it said vodka then we asked her the question. She's like, what's your favorite drink? And then when it said vodka
Starting point is 00:14:05 I mean it it said vodka the ghost thing said vodka. We went downstairs. We got a shot of vodka We put it back on the table We put the EMF meter next to the vodka shot the bot the things started shooting off. It was Truly wild. I finally saw something the way that new Kirks described it Whatever was in that room was trained like a fucking dog It was like that was wild He said that he had not experienced anything like that in the last couple of trips because of her while there was a little bit Because once I started watching everybody get into it, I will allow myself
Starting point is 00:14:39 To step back from the skeptics to the skeptics side, right? Cuz now I'm like, okay good I got all these people that are really believing it, but now there's a part I'm starting to ask the questions can he fake this yeah? What are the parlor tricks in which that he could possibly fake this I watch him do like you can't control the ghost box because I've used one of those before and do that specific is fucking wild And I don't know how he does that the The stuff with the, the only way you could fuck with those bars is with a magnet. Which, I mean, I don't, again,
Starting point is 00:15:10 I don't know if he is David Coppifield or not. You know, because there's only one of those. But they're everywhere. They're possibly secret. Magicians, they always kind of lie about what they do in their private homes. But then, after Jared was done...
Starting point is 00:15:25 See, this is why Marcus is on the show. So of course, right? All of my years talking about this fucking horseshit. All of the years I spent, all the reading, all the things I've shown Marcus. Marcus is always just like, Yeah, well, it's certainly not the Stooges or like he's got somebody, he's just like thinking about music and something else. But it touched you. After Jared was done.
Starting point is 00:15:48 So he puts down the rods and we've got, we had like 45 minutes in this room. And everyone's like, at this point, everyone's very satisfied. Like we've come to New Orleans, we shared a paranormal experience with a bunch of people. And so everyone at this point, like we're just, we've got ten more minutes in that room and everyone's got their EMF meters And everyone's just kind of talking about how crazy that was and I figured Fuck it. Yeah, let's pick up the rods. Yeah Never do that kind of stuff. Anyway, I mean like I went to Crescent City Conjuring, which was another great story. I had a fucking psychic moment. This is this whole trip was wild
Starting point is 00:16:25 yeah, and so I went and I picked up the rods and you know, I got took them like a really nice like steady position and You know, I had watched other people like them flipping around but with me I picked them up and again Straightforward like a whole okay. Cool. I was like well and I asked Am I communicating with anyone well, and I asked, am I communicating with anyone right now? And they just went. Yep, to yes. And they went to yes.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Yeah. And that's the thing is that I was off in the corner with, it was just me and Carolina off in the corner by ourselves, tour guides talking to somebody else. Everybody else is like doing their own thing. And then I'm just like, and I just looked, did you see that? She's like, yeah, I'd tell that. And so I started asking it more questions. Like I asked it, like, are you from New Orleans?
Starting point is 00:17:13 And it's like, yes. And I asked it, like, do you like having us around? Yes. Yeah, it was like getting excited. It was weird. It was doing stuff where it was like, do you like hanging out with people? Yeah, Jared asked that it went to yes and we're like it started really the energy kicked up in a way that I did not expect Yeah And every time that it answered a question a fucking chill went up through my entire body and I started feeling Like I started feeling what I was talking to like I felt like I was speaking with someone very friendly. You got hard?
Starting point is 00:17:47 Yeah. You were hard. Somebody who could make me hard. But then it's nice that Karolina's there so she could finish the ghost job. Am I right? Yeah. Oh, couple of the benefits of that marriage license, that's one. Continue.
Starting point is 00:18:03 So, I felt that it was a very warm, friendly presence. And I felt that it was a woman. I felt it was like a female presence. Nice. And I felt like she was somewhat bawdy. Like kind of friendly. Big tits. A sex worker. Yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Someone who's fun. Somebody like a party lady. Yeah, so yeah, who was like kind of fun. Like I didn't feel, not for a single moment did I feel like scared. No. Or apprehensive or anything like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, to move on and it swung out to yes and then I asked is there anything we can do to help and it went No, oh, yeah, dude. There was one open But it was like oh And that's and that's when like Jackie saw me she's like are you talking to a fucking ghost? I'm like I'm talking to a ghost right now
Starting point is 00:19:04 And that's like everybody else in the room kind of started paying attention like guys I've been talking to a ghost for like five minutes now this is wild credible and if I that's a and that in the picture you can actually go to my Instagram at Marcus Parks you can see the moment and you can see the you can see the the rods in the yes but like going into the yes position and I honestly you know y'all know me y'all know me y'all know what I stand for all right and yeah I can be considered gullible I consider me an experimental
Starting point is 00:19:34 person of thought that just kind of dives in and I don't know I don't really even care I don't care what's real or what's not real because all I fucking know is dog is fucking I think I might have died that fucking correct center almost got into in the way the Disneyland the other way nice So but that's that's just me. That's my own fucking problem. This is a mental problem. I have I think it's called Cotard syndrome But the yeah, I saw something happen That was extremely physical in a room and happened right in front of me I had several other ghost tour guys that were like Yeah, it's fucked up. It's happened. They're all like seen about
Starting point is 00:20:08 Probably between like 10 to 20 of these and I was just like it's interesting because now I kind of know where you're if you're If you're walking through that type of scenario it may sound Credulous to you that we're outside of that room. I totally understand We sound like crazy people but I saw something man, and I was fucking sober Yeah, I was sober as I could have been yeah, because I got I had gotten drunk earlier Then I went to sleep and a nap and then I got I woke back up and I sorted myself out Yeah, I was sober as well. Yeah like I had like that's the thing is I can say that that
Starting point is 00:20:45 night I both saw and experienced something truly paranormal for the first time I experienced the paranormal whatever the fuck it is I don't know if it's an actual person an actual spirit I felt an actual presence speaking through me yes I and I want to thank French Quarter Phantoms. Thank you, Jesus. For popping my hymen. Thank you for making my butthole big for those. So, I, you know, I didn't
Starting point is 00:21:14 experience it myself. I just saw it from the side. I don't know what you'll experience if you take a ghost tour, but especially that kind of environment, I expected nothing to happen. I expected absolutely nothing. I expected us to fucking wander around a room with a bunch of toys for 30 minutes and then make a bunch of jokes Get a drink and have a good night That's that's all just have fun doing that and scaring people each other
Starting point is 00:21:36 But no it was a genuine contact genuine contact. So go check out French Quarter Phantoms also Crescent City conjures I went there and I had a very magical experience in An absolutely mesmerizing woman by the name of Tom Janee grabbed me and she's like, the color green is something that you need. And I was like, okay, you know, whatever. And then I go out to see Tank and the Bangas last night, the night, that night. And I didn't know that the theme of it was their album the green album and there was green everywhere And then I went back there to go get to go talk to the lady again And she wasn't in but then I talked to the guy who owned the store was this big crazy looking dude with a head wrap And two huge dogs and like several chickens
Starting point is 00:22:16 And then I had to go back behind the store with him while he drank wine and we talked about magic for an hour Honestly, it was great. Wow, it was cool cool He's very frightening, but man New Orleans whoo the city's so good. They only made it once Yeah, and I can also say Euclid records also a fucking fantastic incredible record store I wish I could have spent two days in that place dude can't wait and you know we will be back, New Orleans That is false or don't and there's a little bullet. Oh, I get it now Yeah, I finally get I finally get New Orleans And thanks to ever all the wonderful people out of the lounge bar that are so incredible so sweet so wonderful But yeah, thank you, New Orleans for a wonderful vacation. Thanks for treat me right right me hard leaving me wet. Yeah
Starting point is 00:23:02 Alright so we got some updates Fly from your grave. Alright, so we got some updates, updates for the show, and I'm glad you're here. So one thing that I asked about last week was about this concept that the US government, there was an article in Debrief that was saying that they believe the US government had created a proper propellant-less propulsion drive using electricity, and that might explain some of the weird orb activity the US Navy is seeing maybe that's secret tech that we don't know anything about. It's still I had no idea what the fuck I was talking about. So I asked
Starting point is 00:23:33 y'all to explain to me and I got an in somebody from this is some scientist I think it emailed me this are you go. Here's a simple explanation of the propellantless drive the ion drive first off. simple explanation of the propellantless drive, the ion drive. First off, it's not really propellantless. Thanks. Then what's the fucking, what are we even? It just doesn't need to carry a substance that can be shot out of an engine in order to move. Well that, okay, so it's not propellantless. It just has no propellant juice. Yes. The butthole of the plane is shooting dry farts Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah
Starting point is 00:24:11 The oversimplified answer is the plane uses a very large battery to magnetize the air Passing under the wings of the plane the magnetic air is then shot backwards forcing the air backwards Just like any plane with the propeller. Oh, that's how propellers work? I don't know. Wow. Actually, I don't even know what that means. I just- But that is as simple as you can get it.
Starting point is 00:24:31 That's as simple as I can understand it. No. And that if you electrify the air underneath the plane, it makes the plane lighter, and then they push that. They then- the thing floats on the air and then it pushes forward. Dude, I didn't even know that's how propellers work They shoot the air backwards and then that makes the fucking plane go forward dude Forward and with the wings I believe the wings make it go up
Starting point is 00:24:55 It's the propeller that makes it go forward, but then the but then what's the force in the air backwards about I think it's both Guys don't Guys don't... Guys don't even... Please don't ask us anymore about this. I just ask for the simplest explanation possible. In the last minute, how fucking planes work. Dude, fucking... I still don't think they work. That's a secret.
Starting point is 00:25:18 That's a secret I have. I still believe planes work on faith. Which is actually very scary. It's called an anxiety thought. And you know what I've learned to do experience it and let it pass over me because I'm new now yeah I'm young old right I'm just a boy look at me there you are Henry there you are I'm just child young I might be filled with fried shrimp I did not have a meal that didn't have fried shrimp for five days I went into withdrawal yesterday. I felt like a walrus. I was like, where's my I look
Starting point is 00:25:51 I had grown so accustomed fried shrimp in just a part of my every meal Yeah that when yesterday I had to make a fucking salad because I also kicked my doctor's appointment to fucking two months from now I'm gonna get you right. I'm sick of this doctor giving me shit. All right. So I'm coming in there. Brand new guy. Yeah. You don't want to go to the, you don't want to go over a fucking blood checkup for your cholesterol right after a trip to New Orleans. You want to know what I did to fucking counter everything hammered Saturday night, bought a Nutri bullet to make smoothies. That's literally what I thought in my head. I was like, yeah, we're gonna kill right We're gonna get right with the Lord. Did you do that at the bar at the hotel? Oh, all right, there's another update so I asked the extremely important question. Can you fuck grogu? Okay? Yeah?
Starting point is 00:26:35 I was wondering about this. How did the context Context I know that it was talking about how Grogu, if it is indeed a creature that lived, Grogu the baby Yoda is in human years like 50 to 100 years old. So for me, would it be legal for me to fuck baby Grogu because on earth it's of age? Now that's apparently a bit horrible question You didn't answer that question all on your lonesome because I'm getting saying if grogu is a hundred years old and up for some reason That makes me hard that little baby thing makes me hard. I want to fuck it technically for me It should be legal, but it's not so according to the Harkness test this was sent to me I guess it was named after Jack Harkness from
Starting point is 00:27:28 Doctor Who yeah from a Torchwood he's a guy who fucks everything yes and so the question is is from Tumblr back in the day which is number one do they have human intelligence or greater two can it talk or otherwise communicate with language three is it of sexual maturity for its species? So I do understand that I think that I don't know what Grogu gets to. Yeah, Grogu is 50 years old at the beginning of the Mandalorian. Because yes, so he does appear as an infant. But yes, they do, yes, he's 50 years, but fortunately for me,
Starting point is 00:28:01 so he is a baby Yoda, so I can't fuck it. Yeah, you really can well I'll also this is my favorite Email and I also probably destroy it because the size of your penis and the size of its orifice. That's why I'm fucking it Obviously, oh, so you're asking if you can legally fuck Grogu to death. Well fucking it's gonna kill it That's the thing is that then the legalities of it is in murder. Well, no, I mean again, we have to get to that part.
Starting point is 00:28:31 We have to see your mother. It does result in the actions of the defendant. But I got a great email from a prosecutor. I'm a prosecutor in Oregon. To answer your question regarding whether there would be charges filed regarding sexual contact with a species with a vast age difference, the short answer is yes. The long answer, regardless of human age and an intergalactic species age gap, Grogu likely cannot fully consent to the sexual contact. Grogu would also likely be
Starting point is 00:29:01 determined to be of diminished capacity, meaning Grogu is incapable of appraising the nature of your conduct. Grogu also may be determined to be physically helpless due to his size, though a defense that could be used because of his use of the force. It's not the age that the court or jury would determine, but rather your mental state, the action taken, and Grogu's mental state. You intentionally or knowingly made sexual contact with Grogu in which Grogu could not reasonably appraise the situation. Grogu is unable to understand the nature of
Starting point is 00:29:30 the conduct, unable to understand the right to choose whether and how to engage in conduct, including the right to revoke a prior decision to engage in conduct, or is unable to communicate a decision to engage in conduct. As a galactic prosecutor, I would additionally call an expert witness regarding Yooda's species to testify as to the age progression of the species. I would also call the Mandalorian to testify as to Grogu's mental state. If you sexually abuse Grogu,
Starting point is 00:29:56 despite being 50 in human years, I would absolutely fuck your shit up as a prosecutor. Interesting. I just love a thorough answer. It's a very thorough answer. And yeah, I mean, think of it this way. Like, you know how like a, like a buffalo can start walking like three minutes after it's born, you know that, right?
Starting point is 00:30:15 Yeah. Yeah. It means you can't fuck it though. That's what you're saying. You guys should be hands off. I mean, it's, I mean, it's also got grass on the field playing ball that they're born covered in hair. So I'm actually not certain why that, I don't think that rule also applies.
Starting point is 00:30:28 What I mean is the different species, like a human, can't walk for like two years, but a buffalo can walk in like three, two, three minutes. So different species have different progressions. So you can't judge your species' progression sexually. I'm talking about aliens Yes, but you can eventually will talk yeah girl go be in like in my eyes sure fuck me Yeah, you invent and when Grogu does that then yes. Yes, then yes You can fuck the hell out of yoga
Starting point is 00:31:00 Fuck the hell out of Yoda totally fuck your mouth rail yoga. I can fucking, whatever I want I can play good, yeah I can fist Yoda. Yeah. If that wouldn't kill him, Frank Oz already did it. We're having fun. We're having a lot of fun today man. We're having a lot of fun here on Side Stories. We really fucking do. Alright, we got a couple other, we got a couple updates.
Starting point is 00:31:19 The one thing I do want to say, a second Boeing whistleblower died. This one due to complications of pneumonia. So it's not looking good for Boeing. No, it's really bad. Look. I don't want to I'm glad we don't work for them It seems like it's you might Get killed. It seems like Boeing is a I don't know It just seems like it's a very unpleasant place to work once there's two now. I'm nervous Once there's two, now I'm nervous. You know what I mean? Then it comes to be like, all right, now if we get to five, we have got to talk to American Airlines. We have that, something has to happen.
Starting point is 00:31:52 I mean, it's a very, it's a complicated case, of course. I mean, the guy, his name is Josh Dean, died on April 30th in a hospital bed in Oklahoma City from a stroke and severe infection that arose out of a series of complications, including the quick onset of pneumonia over the past two weeks And I guess the question with that is like if you are questioning like devil's advocate here Let's question did Boeing also murder this guy is Boeing Murdering whistleblowers, even though the whistle has already been blow. Yeah, and in this case I mean it would have to be this would have to be some sort of like KGB polonium poisoning type shit like it would have to be pretty it have to be pretty intense
Starting point is 00:32:33 There's a little part of me like this is assassin level shit. This isn't this isn't just like hiring a guy This is like hiring like a spets nights So what this is what you and I kind of like talk about all the time is that in order to do Like these type of moves. It's like one end of the spectrum or the other like it's one end of the spectrum is that Boeing hires Specific private company mercenaries to kill in order to Fuck with the lives of the basically to stop whistleblowers even though they've already done the action. The argument would be made is to prevent further whistleblowing. If you are a whistleblower this will happen to you.
Starting point is 00:33:13 That's the argument. So that's one line of thought which is like at some point if more of these rack up that will get more and more traction right which but it's also it's pretty crazy it's hard to hide. I, one thing I will always say is that human beings love to fucking talk. So the idea, that's what's always been my big hole out of all of the major conspiracy theories that we've never really dialed in, where it's like the main issues
Starting point is 00:33:39 I still feel like on some hand, somebody's going to come forward and say, I did it because they are going to want the, or I know who did it. And here's some proof because they're desperately going to want to be a part of the massive story. I still, I still think to this day, that's why most conspiracy theories fall apart on some level. Because like, there's got to be somebody who wants to talk about it. With like, Jeffrey Epstein, with all the stuff in that, we're finding all that stuff's just been hidden in different weird like,
Starting point is 00:34:08 you know, it's got all hidden inside of the money, these giant like, universities and, you know, international businessmen and all this other stuff. So that's why that stuff's hard to come out. But that has been a slow trickle. We're starting to kind of see more behind what happened with Epstein and Vin Chiseling. People have been talking about the Lolita Express for 15 years. I mean that's the thing, is because these things become sort of like open secrets. Like for example Harvey Weinstein. Everybody knew. Everybody knew about Harvey Weinstein.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Like they were making jokes about it in the fucking Oscars. Because he was a serial rapist. Yeah, he was a serial rapist and it was like an open type of secret. Because that's to your point of like, people talk. They fucking talk all the time. People talked about Epstein same thing Boeing That's now we're in this like they're massive public company So and it'd be a little bit harder for them to get away with it And then there's the other side of the spectrum of it's real stressful to be a whistleblower for Boeing. Yeah There's a it's very stressful
Starting point is 00:35:03 Yeah for Boeing. Yeah. You mean that there's a, it's very stressful. Yeah. And it fucks up your life because of the stress involved. And then it leads to your immune system shutting down in a massive way because of the amount of pressure that it, because not only is it just whistle blowing against the company, I'm certain it's losing friends. It's losing coworkers is your part of the whole, it's very traumatizing. It's losing your pensions. It's losing all that kind of shit. And then you are also You know then you get sick, and then your body just can't handle it anymore or like the previous guy He commits suicide because he's just it just just colloed out everything that he knows and loves
Starting point is 00:35:34 I mean I was reading on a story in long crime that just went through The stories of both of these guys very I mean, very brief, very brief recaps, but extraordinarily stressful. Like Boeing made these guys' lives a living hell. Like, I mean, you could make an argument that Boeing killed them. By attrition. Yeah, by attrition, yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:57 They killed them by lawyer. Yeah, they wore them down. Yeah, they wore them down. Yes, you could make that argument, certainly. Absolutely. Yeah, and it's definitely. Yes that you could make that argument certainly Yeah, and it's not it's definitely not easy being a whistleblower But I mean, I don't know I can't say one way or another I'm not gonna say the gap they definitely killed had both these men killed But I'm also definitely not gonna say like oh boy is an innocent corporation
Starting point is 00:36:22 I corporations have to be defended As a 40 year old man, I finally understood I oh Sam Walton I I sit with a picture of Sam Walton Andrew Jackson my two favorite guys. Yeah, I just been hanging out. That's my new those are my new heroes I just love it out here. I love it in the 40s. Yeah, I love but yeah I I don't just wait till you join me in your world war two obsession and not just about the Nazis Wait until you get obsessed with the battles Just slowly like you just see all these figurines being like as you see when the third army arrived to get his book They came with four counts cannons cannons three, five different carts of wheat, shovels, manure, firing maneuver, building maneuver. Yeah, all that kind of shit. I can't
Starting point is 00:37:15 wait. Yeah, come to me when you have like really strong opinions on like the army's movements during the Battle of Bastogne. Oh, I can't wait. Yeah, we're gonna be doing a history series this summer. We're gonna get real deep into sure Yeah, it'll be real fun indeed All right, so here's the story one big true crime story I wanted to get into for the week was this true mystery that is Coming out of South Carolina This is a very lot of true crime Huge true crime stories coming out of South Carolina these days looks like is very, very interesting. A lot of true crime, big, huge true crime stories
Starting point is 00:37:45 coming out of South Carolina these days. Well, it looks like, well, technically, I guess she died in North Carolina, which is actually very sad. So this comes, this is the story of Micah Miller. Now, Spawn is gonna be covering this in a lot of detail on the stream, so you might wanna go check that out.
Starting point is 00:37:58 Amber and Natalie have been doing work on this the last couple of weeks, when the story came out. It's fascinating. Micah Miller was found, she had died by suicide in a park in North Carolina. Allegedly. Well, yeah, that's how it starts. Her body is found. Micah Miller is the wife. She is about 14 years junior to the pastor, to a pastor by the name of JP Miller He was a pastor for his own self-incorporated church the solid rock church
Starting point is 00:38:33 That was his place. I know it's solid solid rock Welcome to the heart is the Dickens Church guess who didn't have a solid rock in the four days that he was in New Orleans me Church guess who didn't have a solid rock in the four days that he was in New Orleans me and so I'm concerned for the heat of the liquid that has come out of my butt So Micah Miller she was found dead by suicide She is the wife of JP Miller the pastor at solid rock church and market common now This guy is a real piece of work so he came forward and he,
Starting point is 00:39:09 he kind of started with this sort of like AstroTurf campaign of Micah had always suffered from a suicidal ideation. She was troubled. She'd been hospitalized several times. We had, you know, we'd taken care of her mental health. It was a struggle. He accidentally revealed in a sermon that he knew that she died by gunshot wound. Very interesting because he was out of town when it happened. So this happened on April 27th is when she was found. April 26th, we start to see that there is a threat. So Micah Miller had been telling friends for weeks that she was in danger,
Starting point is 00:39:37 that if she was found literally with the word said found with a bullet in her head, JP did it. JP Miller her husband. JP Miller, the pastor. Now, I don't want to surprise anybody because I know it's so hard because we here, we take the church and the community the church brings, we take it so seriously. And especially like self-incorporated churches, like churches that are just like just some guy decides like, I'm just going to be. I'm a guy. I'm a guy.
Starting point is 00:40:02 I'm a church now. God loves me most. I'm a church now and I don't have to pay taxes anymore Because that was a big thing So much respect for those guys really do so JP Miller He you know, he totally sandbagged his wife and it turns out Michael Miller was being repeatedly abused at the hands of JP Miller now the way we know this and the reason why her death is now going to be under investigation is because of the she took it upon herself to chart these things with the police. She called the police several times on JP for domestic assault, a destruction of property.
Starting point is 00:40:37 He had been arrested, all this kind of stuff. They had been working on. He was like they knew that they were a troubled couple, but the community, I guess, didn't you see JP Miller met Micah Miller when she was 14 years old, when he was 27 years old, already married to a woman with five kids. He then spent the next year. Some people say grooming. I say building a wife for the next four years until she was legal. And then he dumped his wife and married her.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Now, she has been utterly under his control ever since apparently so she was like a big part of their 12 years 12 years she had been on essentially the according to her held captive by this man for a very long time so in the days leading up to her mysterious suicide. She was saying that she was being actively stopped. She said that her tires were being punctured She had found a razor in one of her tires
Starting point is 00:41:27 She found an actual tool used that you could buy off of Amazon to pop tires Did you know that you could be you could just buy that Amazon you can buy all kinds of weird shit on Amazon You should not be able to buy we gotta start buying more spy That's what I want. I was always obsessed with spy shit. There's a spy There's a spy store over near the Gelson's like off of Ventura. We should go. Dude, we should go. It's got a neon sign. We should go. We should go to get...
Starting point is 00:41:51 And it's right next to a bar called like the Black Hole. Yeah, let's go. I can't wait. I always had one of those things where you could listen to a conversation across the street like a dish. Yeah, I was one of that. Let's just have a Saturday. Yeah, I'm just like, this sounds like fun. You gotta have fun with it, guys. And so, Micah Miller, she said she'd been terrorized. a saturday yeah i'm say this sounds like fun you gotta have fun with it guys and so micah
Starting point is 00:42:05 miller uh she said she'd been terrorized she started getting anonymous calls from these block numbers she started blocking the numbers getting calls from different numbers saying i'm gonna kill you i'm gonna find you i'm gonna fucking kill you uh she then called the police saying this man i know who this man is i know who it is she they have not named the person after because they're still trying to figure out i think there's a lot of like obviously It's mid investigation, but it's fucking jp. Yeah, so somebody was like coming at her She again she said that i'm there's a bullet in my head jp did it and then she leaves
Starting point is 00:42:35 But what's really she leaves she like left for work. She was supposed to go to work She made plans for the week, which is not uncommon with people who die by suicide, but it's strange which is not uncommon with people who die by suicide, but it's strange. But the weirdest thing was she made a 911 call after all of this where she made a, I said, and on the call she said, can you track my phone? I'm going to commit suicide.
Starting point is 00:42:56 My, and I want my family to be able to find my body. And so it's, she was found in that way. And the coroner came out and they believe it does look like a self-inflicted gunshot wound Because there were some rumors talking about how there was like maybe was in the back of the head But that's also like where things fall apart again Because now the families have separated JP Miller will not be with the with Micah Miller's family They are having their own like vigils for her and he has come now actually been let go From his own church his church has been shut down
Starting point is 00:43:30 But due to because it's time for healing. Yeah, he's gotta go heal course But he does have an alibi they know that he was out of town on the 26 So she was found on the 27th and so they know he was out of town He might have been able to come back in town to do something like that, but we don't really know what's happening. But there is, if you watch and you read something, they're going to go much more in depth tonight on Spun, and you really should check it out after when they, when you, uh, because they really go deep into the details.
Starting point is 00:43:56 It's just very, very frightening. And so now there's like talk that J.P. Miller, it definitely hasn't, uh, a side piece by the name of Susie Skinner, whose husband also mysteriously died. Everybody's reading about Lori Vallow and Chad Daybell and just copying the process. Have you been following the Chad Daybell trial at all?
Starting point is 00:44:16 Not the trial, I'm familiar with the story. Dude, we gotta do a whole thing. The Chad Daybell trial right now is fucking insane. It is insane. They were all in it Yeah, we're gonna go and start like a tent city They're all it's all this idea that they thought that they were the one Why do these fucking sacks of shit with these like I know I'm God's gift. Yeah, that's cuz I'm incredible
Starting point is 00:44:40 Also your mother told you every day yeah every day, I mean you can trust her. She's never lied. Yes. She has lied many times. But there's a, it's, there's something about these fucking guys with bodies like big Ziploc bags filled with fucking yogurt that they just think that the shit, Chad Dable thinks he's the shit. Dude, it is America. It is. It's just this is America. Like America is built on this foundation that you can be this guy, that you can create your own religion. Hey, you turn me around, buddy. You convinced me. I'm back in. But no, it really is like America was founded on that principle
Starting point is 00:45:22 that you can be this guy, you can be whoever you want. And just over the years, you know, the Purit this guy, you can be whoever you want, and just over the years, you know, the Puritans coming, we can be whoever the fuck we want to be here, and then you know, you start getting all of the country tears of the sweet land of liberty of the icy. No daddy, I'm not a zombie. No, very sad, very sad. But then after, but then after that, of course, you know, you've got all your snake handlers
Starting point is 00:45:48 You've got all your tent preachers. You've got the entertainers. Yeah, the entertainers exactly you get PT Barnum You know, you've got all these different people that believe that since by virtue of me being born a fucking American Yeah, dude, I can do and be and say whoever I am. I can choose who I am. We LARP to the death in this country. Actually, I'm reading a book about it right now. But it's the best. That's basically how America has LARPed itself to death. Yeah, that's what it's also. It falls apart at the end, but it's still very good in the beginning. It makes us fun. It is what, that's the thing, that's the paradox of it, is that it is, it's both what makes us who we are, makes us successful, and it's also going to be our death.
Starting point is 00:46:30 You know what I've also never understood? Why are the college universities mad about the kids protesting? Isn't that like the whole point of college? Don't they create like an area? Should they create like a giant like jungle gym for them all to sort of like, like you got like in prison? Oh my God. You create like here's the neo-Nazis, here's the black Israelites,
Starting point is 00:46:45 here's the Swifties, here's the transhumanists. Like you just put them in a big square and you let them all fight each other in big like government, like sumo suits. Isn't that what they're supposed to do in college? Fuck no, bro. You're supposed to fuck with the system.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Dude, exactly. Back when I was in like in college, of course, 2001 to 2006, this during the Iraq war years. Yeah, dude. They fuck it. They gave us a free speech zone. Yeah, we had a free speech zone in Florida State.
Starting point is 00:47:09 We were fucking pissed off because like, fuck you, bro. This whole fucking campus is a free speech zone, bro. This entire fucking country is a free speech zone, bro. I'm really proud of these kids because they're also learning all of the lessons they were taught in school to avoid school shooters, to go against the police that are trying to shut down the protesters They know how to make barricades. You know how to avoid shooters. It's like they're all Police now not I mean big ups to the kids you got to fight it at college because where the fuck else you're gonna Do it because where you doing? That's what you got to do. It's always the students man
Starting point is 00:47:44 It's always the students doing the shit, but to come back to this story JP Miller They're investigating right now. We have no idea what's happening again. I'm gonna. I should have said this very top He's innocent until proven guilty. Sure. So right now he has a little bit of an alibi. We'll see he does It's gonna come out But there's a mystery the center of this story that is very, very compelling. And I don't know what it is. And I just feel bad that this lady had to go because it really did sound like this lady was crying for help for a very, very long time.
Starting point is 00:48:13 And it's hard because they believe they have God on their side. So why would you doubt them? It's real. It's real hard to argue against that. That's what they're once they once they really settle into that one Also, JP Miller son has also been arrested on domestic violence thing So he became the husband his father taught him to be this is very sad. All right. Well, that's sad story Here's a good story Shitting is a crime
Starting point is 00:48:40 In this country still and I don't care What you say. You keep your shit inside of your home. Detroit, we feel your pain because we know a serial pooper is in your midst. This is true. Serial pooper leaves messes on gravestones, headstones at Northview Cemetery in Dearborn. Now apparently a man is coming to this area. It's a Northview Cemetery. They don't know why. It was established in Dearborn. Now, apparently a man is coming to the this area. It's a Northview Cemetery. They don't know why it was established in 1883. They said he's wearing a hoodie, black sweatpants, black hoodie. He's
Starting point is 00:49:13 coming in. He is straight up massive caca. Dookie out the bazooka over many, many graves. I think this happens, it's said it's here seven times in two months Wow find it interesting He said one of the only graves he has not shot on the graveside of actor George Pappard Yeah, who started with Audrey Hepburn and breakfast at Tiffany's George Pappard also from the a-team Wow yeah, maybe he was a big a-team fan He's a Gen Xer and so they you know they don't know what to do the police department This is Hannibal. He didn't that's Hannibal in the a-team. He didn't shit on Hannibal's grave. Yeah, I guess that's where the respect comes in But no one else but you're saying he's leaving not only is it big messy shits
Starting point is 00:49:53 They're saying it seems to be he is prepping. They're like liquid big lumps. He's also then bringing toilet paper There's nothing in this story that says Lumps I saw it say a mess Detroit if Detroit newspaper the Detroit free press a mess I Believe in them. I believe that's a mess because if there's not a city and I love Detroit Yeah, it's not been subject to piles of human excrement like Detroit And if these are the ones that are calling out, think about this.
Starting point is 00:50:26 You don't think that there's not. Not that there's a lot of serial poopers, but I feel like there's, Detroit might have quite a bit of public poopers, but I think it's largely due to the economy. Sure. And so, but I think they see a lot of poopers out there, big, thick ones.
Starting point is 00:50:40 Not normally in a cemetery though. They said the main difference is that normally, this is true, when you see a pile of human excrement, you just see the excrement because whoever has done that, obviously in his extreme distress, or is a paid Lithuanian model who's 16 years old and she's dead. She's been murdered right after.
Starting point is 00:50:59 But this is different because of the toilet paper. The toilet paper is the interesting wrinkle in this. The man has brought his own... So he's publicly defecating. The toilet paper means it's a message. Because the toilet paper means he has brought the toilet paper... With him. With him.
Starting point is 00:51:19 To Wipey. Because like, if I... I don't know. If I was a serial pooper Doing the toilet paper there. It's like a little extra fuck you buddy. Yeah, fuck you to the dead Which is also don't know why you're saying fuck you to the dead Well, it's more litter because poop is litter biodegradable. Yeah poop is just poop. You can put a flower in it Yeah, it would grow. Yeah, but he said not after New Orleans
Starting point is 00:51:44 No, but like yeah, but if you had a bunch of seeds in that. And it would grow. Yeah, but he's a- Not after New Orleans. No. But like, yeah, but if you had a bunch of normal meals- Toilet paper is pointed. He's making a point. Because he's sitting there. Because normally, if you're shitting- Do you remember the man who sees- The curse of the man who sees UFOs
Starting point is 00:51:57 when he shat his pants when he saw the UFO? Yep. That's a shit pant. And that was an emergency situation. He didn't double think that. He didn't think that that was common. He sharted his pants, and a bunch of shit came out, and he was an emergency situation. He didn't double think that he didn't think that was common He shardered his pants and a bunch of shit came out and he was just so amazed by the UFO that he kept rolling with it But guess what that poopoo lived in his pants the idea that you're gonna sit and squat and take so long to shit so
Starting point is 00:52:16 Casually and you will sit and wipe means that you were there for some kind of endetta Maybe maybe not think about this for a second. How many times you shat outside in your life? Very few times. Very few times? Yeah, because I don't camp. I don't camp. You don't camp? Twice.
Starting point is 00:52:32 Maybe twice. I think I shat once outside, when on a road trip, from the car on the highway. Okay. I never poo poo, I don't poo poo out. Yeah, well I've done it quite a few times. Being an outdoorsy fella, being from the country. Yeah, you garden all the time.
Starting point is 00:52:48 Yeah, you... Is there a way to know? Yeah, yeah, in my hair, in my fucking front yard. Showing Frank. So then you know, I'm like, who's our dude? This is how your dad does it! My house is easily seen from the street. But when you are shitting outside, one of the things that's important is having something to
Starting point is 00:53:12 balance yourself on. And really being comfortable. As comfortable as you can. And it very well could be that this is just a man who does not have access, regular access, to a bathroom, but does have access to toilet paper and just finds that balancing himself on gravestones is the most comfortable way for him to relieve himself. I think it's one of the most generous reads in last podcasts in the Left's history. I'm not saying he's good. I mean, he's still choosing to shit on gravestones. I think the fact that he's shitting on gravestones, because that would be any... Guess what else you could do between two cars?
Starting point is 00:53:52 Between two cars, that's true. You could go to a party, put a potty on a construction site. But that's the thing, if you're doing it between two cars, you're ruining somebody's day. If you're doing it at a con... It's at the cemetery, you're gonna go see your loved one, you gotta see a pile of fresh poo poo. You're about to go there, you're your a team tour, right? You're on your national Visit the grave stones of the a team tour Posted by mr. T. Mr. T's taking y'all
Starting point is 00:54:17 Grave door you got to see all my dead friends Where you at? Wake up! Wake up, Pappad! Wake up! It's me, Mr. T! I've been to the Fool, don't rise from the dead for Mr. T! And then he goes, he literally goes around, and then you're, oh, you're in from Sherboygan, where you're, again, you're like, oh, human shit? Our mayor's a pile of human shit. We can't get shit here, this is our vacation! But think about the logic here. Does a grave does a graveyard get visited every day? No Do people drive their cars every day? Yes, do people go to a construction site every day? Yes So perhaps this person is thinking that they're doing some sort roundabout personal service roundabout Like community service thinking about the people this is you shitting in are you doing? Did you do this if I've been did I fly to Detroit from New Orleans and have been
Starting point is 00:55:09 shitting in the same graveyard around George Papard's grave seven days you were is this for mr. T's attention you saw me three the last seven days three of the last seven days I didn't see you it's seven over ten seven times over two months huh you went on that one thing you said you were like you went to the Three of the last seven days. I didn't see you. It's seven over ten seven times over two months, huh? You went on that one thing you said you were like you went to the dentist and you come back three days You have a network oh This is just me telling people what to do your cabal my cabal pooh ball I'm just saying maybe we can give a little bit of grace and maybe we could give a little bit of understanding
Starting point is 00:55:45 Hey to our people out there that may be just trying to find Silver lining dog in a bad cloud. Listen, man. I'm 40 now. Mm-hmm. I get Joe Walsh now. Do you everybody needs nine chances? Everybody needs about nine to fifteen chances and you just fucking whether they're shitting outside Or they're shitting inside, but not in the toilet. So this guy's got two left. Yep. I know I Just want him to come out and be like I did it to stop the Genocide in Gaza like that's the key. That's like the that's the key So you have a fight if they do it for charity I think it would be huge or to get like Jodie Foster's attention.. That's like the, that's the key. So you have to find, if they do it for charity, I think it would be huge.
Starting point is 00:56:25 Or to get like Jodie Foster's attention. Yeah, no, no, no. I know, I don't think there's any sort of like larger meaning to this. I don't think there's any meaning at all, besides wanting to be a responsible member of the American public. You've just been reading Sartre too much.
Starting point is 00:56:43 You've been reading Sartre. I've been reading Marcus Aurelius talking about strength is about temperance like it's fun I you know, it's funny. That's what I'm lifting weights. Yeah Wow, I think we did I think we're at knees. Well, let me do a couple of these little letters One thing it's coming at uh, I've been talking a little bit about how the earth's getting bigger. Mm-hmm naturally like me Cuz again, I'm not in a I don't gain weight or lose weight These are natural cycles that I flow through and so many ways Yeah
Starting point is 00:57:13 The government has not increased the ability for me to get fatter just because I'm you know working more and more hours And not the eating as well and not working out as much I'm naturally expanding through the magma Inside of me much like the planet earth but according to this which is what then will happen to me later on It's actually the truth is that the earth is shrinking slowly but surely Every year it's estimated the planet gains around 40,000 tons of space dust and rocks failing to the surface falling to the surface every year of course again That's what I just dealt with. I probably I've gained about 12 pounds of space dust and rocks. However, it's also estimated that about 95,000 tons of hydrogen and smaller amounts of other light gases escape our atmosphere at the
Starting point is 00:57:57 same time. All things considered, on average, we net around 50,000 ton loss of mass each year. Oh, skinny batch. So the earth is actually actually shrinking and given the overall mass of the planet It's about five point nine seven billion trillion tons. The loss is negligible. So we have to worry about it Another pointless fucking fact Pointless thing. It doesn't do anything doesn't help anyone And then uh, they got this thing but the Denver Airport, you know what is about the Denver Airport is that again? They're trying too hard to be a mysterious. They really are but leaning in too much. You can't lean in too much No, it's your whole you're showing your hand man. Now. It's just marketing now. It's marketing the Illuminati. Just a market
Starting point is 00:58:35 It wasn't secret or Does it it does? Fuck it does cuz if it told us we'd be mad And then oh there was one other thing. I wanted to talk about dude One last little story before we go is that they are this is actually kind of a massive deal The new web telescope they believe that they have found The first signatures of a biological Life form on another exoplanet, this thing called K2-18b.
Starting point is 00:59:07 It's a super planet and they said that they had got this shit's coming off of it, the dimethyl sulfide, DMS potential of dimethyl sulfide, which is what is produced by marine phytoplankton here on Earth. And they're talking about that might just mean that it might have a lot of oceans on it. Yeah. It's a super earth. It's larger than our planet, but smaller than Neptune. It's been described as a hyacinth world or hyacinth, a term coined by Dr. Madhusadan K to 18 B is a rocky planet boasting a hydrogen rich atmosphere and potentially vast oceans of water. So it was kind of what they said what would happen on various moons I believe is
Starting point is 00:59:45 Saturn or Jupiter Where they have a bunch of water they think they got worms and they're they can think They're just saying shit. Yeah, they need funding fobos demos demos Those are Mars aisle you talk about aisle easy that is it that nothing's helping We have a bunch of you know what story we didn't get to but it's fine We'll cover it next week the guy fucking that the Irish dude who got crucified We think that's a guy some kind of it is a bulls thing that we don't particularly
Starting point is 01:00:15 I literally understand the bottom of I looked into it and yeah, it was Definitely a technique during the troubles to nail men to fences, nail their hands to fences. to nail men to fences. Yep, it happened with fair regularity and it just happened. And someone also set a van on fire. Somebody get a crowbar. But yes, hopefully things are good with that. Yep.
Starting point is 01:00:44 Well, fix that. Good work everybody. So live every day knowing for a fact. Yeah, it's a tiny alien. It's a tiny alien and it's got a rattle. But you need to ask it straight up, right? Because then you can love the fact that it would say yes or no to you fucking it. Because that's really where your joy should be.
Starting point is 01:01:04 It should not be in the mangling of the grogu It should be in the enjoyment of the grogu of being hollowed out by your stubby dick Because that's what it's asking for right then you both can laugh all it's hemorrhaging out, but at least it's like or that gave time most I'm most kicked most game game That's my little jet smudger blow for the We did it honestly I feel like this is a pretty coherent episode after five days after normal I think it really was yeah
Starting point is 01:01:36 We we came back came extra came back real strong We got snow town 3 and then right after snow town 3 this week for last podcast and left We are gonna go straight into the next series which I'm really excited for it's one people have been asking for for a long time so I'm excited for people it's I'm excited that and it's it's certainly it's tangentially related to the story that we told in New Orleans so I'm really excited again that I'm really excited to get into this subject having finally experienced something myself so it'll be a I'll have a new point of view on it will be nice. It's gonna be awesome. I cannot wait to go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left to watch last podcast on the left video style with our faces on it. And then you go to tick-tock that LP on the left for next year or so and then go twitch.tv slash LPN TV to watch us Wednesday.
Starting point is 01:02:21 Spun is going to be covering that Michael Miller story in very thick detail and then we come see us on tour, go to last podcast on the left.com and see us we are we're basically sold out of Denver, but we're very, very close. If you want to come to hop on that, that'll be sweet. We did our practice shows, the audiences seem to enjoy it. Yeah, we had fun. I thank you so much to everyone who came out to our two practice shows here in Los Angeles. That was a lot of fun. Thank you so much to everyone who came out to our two practice shows here in Los Angeles. That was a lot of fun. Yeah, we are. I am really fucking excited about our new show now. It's gonna be a cool show. We've got it written. We've got it. Well, I mean, it's not done. We got the bones. Yes, but you'll see them bones and you're gonna like them bones. But yes, come check it out and Australia, see us in Australia. We are working on that missing live stream for you guys
Starting point is 01:03:08 Yeah, that was forgotten they got lost in the shuffle with all the thing all the horrible shit We went through so but we are coming to you. We're going to have that for you. We're figuring that out Momentary momentarily Eric gets back next week from his he's a paw now give it up for Eric tell Eric If you see him on the street uh congratulations for being a father and uh i think that's it i think that's all thank you so much for listening everybody hell game bye bye it's a goodbye this show is made possible by listeners like you thanks to our ad sponsors you can support our shows by supporting them for more shows like the one you just listened to, go to LastPodcastNetwork.com.

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