Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Masturbating Walrus

Episode Date: January 11, 2023

Ben 'n' Henry bring you this week's weirdest stories and true crime news including an update on The Moscow Murderer, the Masturbating Walrus who ruined New Years Eve, a pigeon busted for Meth possession, the Utah father who killed family of a 5 over divorce, the California man who intentionally drove his family off cliff in their Tesla, Bigfoot caught on Highway Cam, Former Colorado funeral home owner sentenced to 20 yrs for selling body parts, Klansman's Kostumes for Kids, Hero of the Week, and MORE!

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. So they say that Timothy Chammel on my ding dong is the agent basically came out and said Mike Glyne has an audition for anything in seven years. It started a conversation on nepotism. It did. And guess what the conversation is. It works.

Nepo babies. Hey, get into some nepotism. Nepo babies. If we were Nepo babies of anybody, right, Nepo babies, seems like a new TV show. Nepo babies, they're making their own dreams come true, Nepo babies, they're stepping all over you. It sounds so much worse than just coming in for money. It sounds like you should be incarcerated. I'm a Nepo baby.

I'm a bit of a Nepo baby. But if we were Nepo babies, we are not. Of course. Yeah, you got that cop severance. And I have that truck driver severance, which is the US government. My noise and noise. But let me ask, what would we be Nepo babies of into what industry? Well, you would be a detective and I would be one of the better truck drivers in Wisconsin. But you're too big.

No, you can be a big truck driver. Do you think so? Truck's are big enough. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Trucks are pretty, they're pretty healthy sized on the inside. I have any clue how many emails I got of trucker saying, yeah, I masturbate all day. Yes, I realize it's around cruise control. Several, several. I'm talking about like a dozen emails that being like, yeah, but I'll haul, I'll haul

insulin. And when I'm not hauling insulin, I'm jerking off from where to stop. It was incredible. But just don't do it in the mountains of Colorado. That's all I'm saying. Yeah. Go through the plains of Iowa, jerk off, look at the corn, create a new fetish and have fun.

Set it and forget it. And I guess I would be the hot new cop. They'd be like, uh, guess another Zabrowski's on the force and I'm like, yep, yes, sir. Where is that crime? I'm going to round it up. You know, okay. Interrogation time. What's your favorite color?

What's your favorite color? But that's how I'm good at it. Again, that's what I learned. I watched probably one of the worst films ever committed to celluloid last night. What? Pray for the Devil. Oh, okay. We're going to get to intro-ing the show very soon here.

But it involved a... Is it pray, P-R-E-Y, or...? Yes. I see. But it's about a 22-year-old bleach blonde nun becomes the first-ever female exorcist and the reason why is because her superpower is, guess what? Active listening. Wow.

It is the most goop written shit I have ever seen because Matt is just sitting there with her head on her hands and I was just like, see, look, they did this for you. They did this for women. A lady. Look, this is for the ladies. Lady exorcist. Yep. It was incorrect.

Fantastic. Welcome to Side Stories, everyone. Ben hanging out with Henry. Wow. We covered a lot of ground. Are you a girl? You two can do the fake art of exorcism. But pray for the Devil had so much potential because it had an exorcism school because

it kind of starts off and it's like Hogwarts for exorcists where you're like, it's a special new school because they're opening up all these things because they say, ah, the Vatican. And then they made up all these terms like terminal exorcism or terminally possessed, which meant me like, well, it's too late. They're already gone. And basically what they admitted within it, like cancer. Yes. And it really is.

They never saved anybody. Every single time someone was possessed, they fucked it up. And then they're like, we're the best of the best and you can't be one. You've got a vagina. And she's just like, I listen with both of the two vaginas on the side of my head where I call ears. Yeah. Because it's the whole thing.

Oh, she's new, funky and fresh. And then the whole time we're like, how does she, how is it not allowed to have her hair dyed so spectacularly like, like, well, they're desperate, they're desperate for nuns. They're allowed to dye their hair now in the whole series of different things. I think they're allowed to go full shaven or full bush or even have a little runway down there at this point. Side stories. L P O T L E G M L dot com.

Do nuns shave? Do they shave or do they not? I've seen some documentaries where they do not. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. Well, let's do a quick update. Let's talk Brian Coburger, this accused piece of human shit.

Wow. You're careful. Evidently, there's some pictures and I'm going to give, oh, I don't want, I'm going to give one, one, I'm going to give a small, like a little Dorito chip. You get a corner of the chip for online sleuths. No, they did. They did some work on this one. They did.

They, they had a picture of the memorial again of the four slain students, RIP, our hearts are with the family, but they had a picture of a man who looked like Brian Coburger, who attended the event, the memorial. I believe it is him. If very much so, it looks like so play into the MO of the doucheery that this man represents an American crime. What a piece of shit. You can just see him in the back and be like, none of these people even know it's all my

thought. I'm the ultimate predator. What a bitch. If only they knew what a villain I was. The only thing I could think of Henry is, did he get massive amounts of pleasure from this? Yes. Absolutely.

Well, and then also straight up, but then he got dinged because BTK was like, I'll never talk to him. Right. I would never, ever, ever talk to him because I think that, yes, he went through, this is why they talk about this is why serial killers do that. They often visit the scenes of their crimes. They go back because they want to see, oh, look at all of my handiwork, look at all of them cry.

It's that shit, but it's sad because BTK was like, number one, do I not not talk to that guy? Right. Don't do it. But number two, I'd never talk to that guy. And number three, why won't my daughter talk to me? BTK is a little bit upset because, you know, he murdered a bunch of people there and in the worst way possible, in the worst way possible, and then his family for some reason isn't coming

over for Christmas or Thanksgiving to the jail anymore. They keep forgetting his birthday. Isn't that strange? My birthday is incredible. It is on the 15th of rape. I didn't know that was a month. Yeah, man. It is easy to remember.

No, this guy is just really interesting to see all of these personalities come to play. This does sort of feel like a movie where they're all talking to the old serial killer to see what he's feeling and they know Catherine Ramslin is, but I haven't really seen a comment from her yet about the nature of her relationship with Brian Coburger as of yet. But I'm very interested to see what she says. I've had several messages from other students of Catherine Ramslin and she's an incredible teacher and she doesn't really talk about BTK a lot in class. She's not always like, well, my good friend Dennis Raider.

She doesn't do that a lot. Well, I would imagine also at some point she has to feel, well, I don't know. If I was a teacher of criminology, you teach criminology in order to help detectives or people who want to stop these crimes. You're creating cops. That's the whole point. But then all of a sudden somebody takes this information, bastardizes it, manipulates it, puts it into their own polluted mainframe and they start committing crimes.

I would feel a little bit conflicted like, what am I doing here? Like, why am I helping these people? It's a small percentage and a lot of times, the best part is these cops, a lot of times they're just stealing cable and it's other types of crimes, you know, they're stealing more like, you know, they're stealing some weed underneath from the evidence desk and stuff like that. And it's the kind of crimes that, you know, some of these cops commit when they're not just murdering people in a very untrained scenario where they seem to pull out their

gun really easily. Well, if Coburger is convicted, he's going to have a hell of a time in jail. He thinks he's a tough boy, but indeed he will be surrounded by grown ass men. You really, really think that he thinks he's tough. He looks like a fucking pelican. He is the... Oh, to be fair, don't even say that though, because first of all, Zion Williamson is a pelican and he's a very good basketball player.

What? He's on the pelicans from New Orleans. Can I just say that for the New Orleans, that's a dumbest name for a team. Why? Because it's pelicans. They don't play basketball. Well, originally they were, the jazz was, I believe, from there, but then they moved out to Utah.

But that's a cancer. Again, Utah is the least jazzy place I've ever been. Although they do enjoy stringed music. Yeah, but jazz is more, and the guy going, ah, ah, ah, and then the guy going, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It's about the notes you don't play. So according to Valerie Cipollona, she's 50. She was in jail with Coburger.

She was there for domestic violence. Cool. Valerie had some. She had a couple of drinks. Oh, Val. Whoa. She probably did something bad. Who knows?

Domestic violence. She beat the shit out of her husband or girlfriend or something happened. Either way, you don't piss off mean Val. This is what she said. Coburger was yelling at the guard. Coburger was yelling, you come in here and I'll cut you. I'm going to pee on your face. Hey.

Do what you want with me. I don't give a shit. So good. Good. You're the jail guard. They're all just laughing. They're all just be like, oh. You're going to pee on my face?

You want to pee on my face? You want to pee on my face? Tell me. It's raining from your dick. So even he pretending to be a tough guy, because again, he's just a spoiled bitch. His big tough guy statement is going to pee on your face. And if he says that in prison, he's just going to end up poopy boy and there he's just going to be used as toilet paper for the next lifetime.

A guy's going to gargle your piss and then he's going to smash your head against the wall until it's nothing but a bunch of jelly. I also feel like we are kind of reaching the end of some of these news until we get some more and more pertinent details because we're not really certain exactly how the murders went down in the house. We're getting a little bit more of an eye view into it. It's really fucked up. But here's some of the more scintillating news breaks.

This is from CBS News. They interviewed a former classmate of his from Pleasant Valley High School and she asked not to use her name. But all she said was Brian was really funny. He wasn't outgoing at all, but he also wasn't shy. This is where we're at. This is where true crimes at. This is why the men, boys like this, they get laid because she thinks he's funny.

She's projecting her sense of humor onto this blank surface of a human being. He's nothing. Yeah, he's nothing. But we actually tried to be funny and then some jokes don't hit. Well, people say a lot of times we've been called try-hards, we've been called shitheads, we've been called assholes, we've been called libtards, we've been called Nazis, we've been called every single thing, so yeah, it's different because again, that's what I say about myself, right?

I'm not that outgoing, but I'm really not that shy either. Absolutely. But again, that's all of us. That's what's nice about it. Again, that's what people do to ignore people that reject themselves. Just don't call me late to the gang bang. Followed by potluck. That's kind of a, I'd call it a buttluck.

It's a buttluck. Also, obviously we've been hearing a little bit about the roommates that were there and again, they were 20 years old, I don't know, I'm not going to say anything about their actions. It is what it is. They waited a little bit long to call the police and apparently there were some screams coming from the house that they heard. Again, these are 20 year olds.

I don't know. These kids have never, they've never experienced a single bit of trauma in their life. These are very protected children that are very privileged and then when they saw something like this happening, they did just shut down. I do think that they shut down. They shut down and they didn't know what to do because again, Natalie and I were talking about this last night and I've lived in a group house scenario. I've lived in a house with five other roommates.

As of like seven years ago. Yeah. And then you go in and out like a bunch of 19, 20 year olds, like you don't know who's coming in and out of the house. Like it's chaos in there. Like it's mostly just your party and you're having fun and it's largely, especially in a place like this, we never locked the doors. Guess what?

Lock your fucking doors because you lock your fucking doors because guess who's coming in? Man, these fucking shitty little nerd criminology students who are training themselves to be cops slash serial killers and they know they don't lock your doors and they want to come in and they want to make themselves the head of the new cycle of your little town. So just lock your fucking doors. According to Cipollone, again, Valerie, she's in there for scissoring too hard. Yeah.

She says, uh, this is what he yelled at one of the guards. She says, come on in, motherfucker, you come in here. Let's talk. It sounds like that guns and roses song, getting the ring, motherfucker, and I know Axl is apparently a tough guy, but he is a tough guy. His voice is not getting a ring, whether you know, he's not tough is because he's got that. He's got that fucking syndrome where people probably act like he's not tough all the time and he isn't going to knock guys in the head.

Brian Coburg is a piece of shit. They're, they're going to get him, but again, he did. This is kind of speaking towards what we were talking about last episode where he is doing a lot of outbursts in jail. He is not being a, uh, a calm part of this process because he probably watched the movie with Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell called like, I don't know, hard or get hard or be hard. Get ready. Man hard.

Yeah. Open it up. Um, and he thinks this is how you're supposed to do because, uh, this is how you're supposed to look tough in jail. Again, jail is like anything else. It's actually. Draw it up or shut up, doc. It's good.

It's good to him though. And it's good to be bullied. You put yourself back up against the wall, right? You shit with one leg out of your fucking pants. These motherfuckers with these chomos come up and they want to pull your card. You best be able to respect yourself because it's not, you're going to get your fucking wig split. There you go.

You watched a couple of YouTube videos and you are a hardened criminal. I am prison. He says, look at me, man. I'm nothing but I'm bars, dude. You are nothing but bar. She claims that he shouted, come into this cell and I'll show you why I'm a creeper. Come into this cell and I'll cut you up to it, which does seem like a bit of an admittal. I think that she's dense.

Oh, yeah. Oh, and then he, yeah, he's, uh, he did it. Yeah. Yeah. It is a legend. It's still legend, but he probably did. We'll get, we'll find out. We could have egg in my face and that egg could very gradually turn into gold depends

on what we, it happens in the society. Perfect radio. Now I want to talk about this. A lot of crimes happen this week, um, especially when you receive there was a lot of things that kind of happened and we glossed over and one of the more serious stories that I wanted to spend more time on is the fact that like this little town in the UK got their entire New Year's Eve fireworks and the whole fireworks display was canceled because a thousand pound masturbating walrus was beached where the fireworks were supposed to go off.

This is just really devastating stuff. This whole neighborhood hung their fucking, their Sherlock Holmes hats and their pipes and their Adams apples. They hung them up to go out at night. They wanted to see fireworks because it's the only time people in the UK see things that are colored. Right. And so they wanted to see this impressive display of lights, but instead they saw this

and I'm going to show you what this was. All right. So this walrus. I've seen the footage. We're going to go over it again. Extensively. This is Scarborough. Right.

So here we go. Look at this. This is North York or York's. So saying I guess this thing was on it's sort of like it was on some kind of a pattern. It was, it was swimming around there. It was on a dock. It was going back to a cold waterfront and they found it. And so now all of these people saw that if you could look see this footage right here.

It's a big old hog on him. It is a big old hog. You know what I find weird is that yes, he is, he is masturbating. He might be scratching. I don't know if he knows that he's, I don't know if he knows he's jerking off. He might to be honest with you. I see a little smile. Maybe it's just because we have animals and stuff.

I'm not really affected. I wouldn't really, I would be like, eh, Walrus is jerking off. Good for him. And then I'd look back at the fireworks. Yeah, of course. I would laugh at that. I would laugh at that. I mean, like what a great New Year's Eve this is.

Wish I was you. Exactly. That's okay. I wish I was you. If it hurt me away. Right. But no, you could do that because you're a walrus and you're kind of cute even though you are a deadly animal.

I want to watch the footage. You look at the footage again here now when he's, he's masturbating. My question is, is that I know he's masturbating very fast and why are we blurring it out? Well I think that's a fantastic point. Who is going to become aroused by the walrus penis, right? This is science. Like technically, this is an interesting phenomena because how often do we see or catch the walrus masturbating in public and as 90s kids, we know for a fact, you see blur, you can imagine

there's titties behind that blur and then you start jerking off. The blur is actually what makes me horny a lot of the times. Oh, we're pixel sexuals. I will, if I see a pixel, I will just immediately assume there's a vagina back there. I'm building and building and I'm throwing vaginas from things I've seen on television. I'm throwing vaginas from things I've seen in science book. Every single version. Oh, here we go.

Here's another. There's some more footage. This is from motherless.com. Oh, that doesn't, that's why they come. That's why they blurred it out. Oh, that is actually, I don't like that at all. Well, I mean, it's fine. It's nature.

It's a, it's a wiggly woggly. Actually, now I'm, I'm, oh, wow, I immediately regret what I said minutes ago to say the least. Oh, yeah. It is a purposeful masturbation as well because it is productive creatures. They're just like us. Aren't they? Oh, well, I'm, you know what?

Yeah. Maybe they should have canceled me or something. No, I actually disagree with this. I believe that you just have to let this go. I think the audience has just heard me have a hero's arc and a very short period of time. Well, I think you're going to have to come back here and you're going to have to become the anti hero. They know and love because what you do here is put a towel on, you just take a little blanket,

your Nana comes up and she puts her little quilt on it and you say, everything is fine kids. He's scratching. Because once he, once he finishes with all of his walrus stuff, then he's going to go to bed. I don't know. It sounded like he went like, but then he went to bed. Yeah.

Cause then he got his one moment of pleasure out. He just covered their children's eyes when the two ton beast was doing the solo sex act. It's not even bad. One wag. Joked. I think wag is a dude or a bra. It's a guy. Yeah.

It's like a lad. He says walrus misunderstood. Are you coming to Scarborough Fair? Another one posted David Attenborough. Miss that in blue planet. Um, actually he probably did. He probably just cut it out because now that I've seen the uncut footage of a walrus masturbating, I could see why he did because it might be difficult to slap a Tyson chicken

commercial right after that. It might be difficult to package that for NBC where you're like, no, see, no, over here. This is simply a fascinating as you can see as the walrus takes us for biscuits. You want to like, you got all these guys, you're doing this in front of real pedophiles right. And they're just walking like, this is not hardcore enough enough for us, but at the same time, this is not for everybody. This is not, I couldn't even show this to my buddies at my stand parties.

Yeah. You know, also the dudes, uh, the walruses name, I believe they've named it Thor. So they know it and they've named it. And I do wonder if that has something to do with the reason they canceled the event because they're like, that ain't just no normal walrus. That's Thor. That's where were they giving him his privacy? Well, they said that apparently it was because they, he beached himself because he was tired

after this kind of like, I guess this miles long journey. He's doing walruses. He's doing this thing. And that they called walruses walrus I don't fucking walruses. I think walruses is also that when it is plural, right. For now, I'm looking at you, you know, like, yeah, but he's, he's not Goose, right. I don't know, man. I don't know.

All I know is we've just buried ourselves in a fucking bunch of emails from walrus cocks walrus. A bunch of the walrus nation is going to email. I feel like they shouldn't have blurred out the walrus penis. I've seen multiple walrus penises. And to be frank, it's my right to see the walrus as a king of the animal kingdom. I want to see the masturbate. Let it free.

Yes. No, I think it's because they said that it beached itself and that they didn't want to disturb it. They want it to be able to sleep its natural cycle and then leave without worrying about the crowds and the sounds of the fireworks because, you know, but again, he didn't have his white noise machine. He's coming into our world though. We didn't, we didn't do these fireworks in the middle of the goddamn, in the middle

of the goddamn water, man. You know, this isn't an ACDC concert on a float, which I did see one time. Actually, I'm sorry. It was cheap trick. It was in Minneapolis. It was pretty fucking awesome. Although I don't think anyone knew who they were because at that point they were already old and that was 20 years ago.

I was watching this incredible documentary called Poca Contas and it said that you really, you can't own anything. You can't. There's no such thing as own it. So it's like, we don't really own the beach either, but neither does the whale. So when it comes down to it is that we should all be allowed to do this together. Absolutely. If I was with that walrus, I would have said in unity.

I too will masturbate. We're all just members of the animal kingdom though. According to Richard Colson, he's 51. He says, it's amazing how much attention it's brought. It's the first time I've ever seen one. It's huge. He says, you respect nature when you see something of that size. So you're saying that he needed to see the size of the walrus' cock for him to believe

that nature is important. Well, that is a type of person. Everybody talks about like, they all wonder why like we're having issues like communicating things about like the climate change and like all these like really kind of heady, interesting. Meanwhile, like it took that guy seeing a 15 inch walrus' cock for him to be like, maybe the animals should be respected. Yeah, they're just like us. Like there's no data breakdown group that can really crunch those numbers.

How many more people need to see you? That's again, maybe I'm back, I'm back, uncensored. More people need to see you. Because if more people can see that, yes, even these walruses, these gentle walruses can be packing like Mr. Tyson, you can fucking go. Well, there is something humanizing about an animal that's able to jerk itself off with its hands. That's why I watched that documentary, The Cove, exceptionally sad about dolphins.

That's like me. And I really think the dolphins should have masturbated a little bit in front of the people and said, see, I'm like your child. So he also says it wasn't so much the penis. He says it's tusks are bigger than my arms, but he was talking about its cock. He's still saying, man, that he just needed to see how big it is for him to care about it. According to Stuart Ford, who runs Sea Life Safari, all these people need to be investigated.

He says, I was going to, going down to my boat. There was a slip away. He said, magnificent. It was. He said, it's a magnificent, he says, I think it's a once in a lifetime in Scarborough to see. Yeah, it is. And this is, they didn't cancel the fireworks because they didn't want to get together.

They stayed and they just watched it instead. Yeah. They just went and watched the walrus jerk off on them. So the walrus jerking off its natural penis overshadowed thousands of dollars worth of explosives. It's like when you buy a PS5 for a child and all does is play with the box. Right? I mean, it doesn't happen a lot.

Mostly it just turns out it's cause the kids missing half a lobe or something. But the rest of the time, like people are curious about many natural things. And again, this has probably done more for climate change awareness than many other, like anything that Greta Thornberg's ever said, that masturbating walrus changed five men's lives. It did. That's incredible. Yeah.

No, it's the, out of the mouths of babes there. Also an animal. Cause that walrus was pretty hot. Well, apparently also in animal news, there was a pigeon that was arrested in British Columbia cause it was found carrying a pack of crystal methamphetamine. Canada needs more crime. Yeah. It really does.

Because that is wild. They need everything. They need a full, they need a weekend with Donald Trump in charge just to get a taste of what crime is. Yeah. What crime is. I think they, you know, cause this is what they, it took them six years to get Robert picked.

They arrested a pigeon and the pigeon didn't even, did the pigeon make the crystal meth? No, the pigeon did not. Did it distribute her? No, it was actually sort of a vigilante drone before the drones. There was the pigeon according to John Randall, president of the Pacific region for union of Canadian correctional officers. Everything is convoluted in too long. Okay.

He says a pigeon was located at, no, a pigeon was located at Pacific institution inside the walls. Is that you're making? Yeah. It's close. And appeared to have a small package. This is why I don't do it. This is why you're the actor and I am the recipient.

I am the fan. Oh yeah. So anyway, John Randall says a pigeon was located at Pacific institution inside the walls and it appeared to have a small package, sort of like a backpack attached to it, which is a really cute movie pigeon, pigeon dealer. It is. Pigeon mule. Again, I've been talking a lot about, I wonder, I think that's a really fun Pixar movie.

You know what I was thinking? That was fun. I wanted to do it and like really kind of illustrate how the US military industrial complex and Hollywood and show business are together. We need a Pixar movie called drones. It's all about cute drones. Cute drones. Right?

You do it like stripes. There's a mean drone who dropped games. He's the mean one. Yeah, he's mean. But at the same time, because then one of the drones tries to save this like innocent village, right? It's like, oh no. Don't do that.

Don't do that. Yeah. But then they find out like, oh, there's, there is bombs underneath it. I guess we do got it and that's the arc is them discovering like, oh, yeah, we should be bombing more. And then it's like the, that's the B. Oh, yes, B. Oh, yes, because all these drones talking about how they wish they could be used to kill. Yeah.

Sort of be our dust after we explode you. And that, of course, that'll be a fantastic Northrop Grumman sponsored Pixar film. I can't wait. Well, you talk about another Pixar film that is in the same thing. Just lastly, when it comes to the, when it comes to the pigeon, the main dude there, he says, it's almost like the inmates and the criminals are going back in time and using older technology. So isn't that kind of nice?

Also, we refer to a pigeon as technology. I mean, it is interesting that he called the technology. It's an animal, but I guess that, yeah, because I guess that walrus technology was really malfunctioning on you. Maybe the pigeon was feeding the walrus, all that crystal methamphetamine. And then I believe on crystal meth, you clean, but you can come. It's not like cocaine and whiskey. Like I think meth, no, meth, you're supposed to come.

Yeah. You're supposed to come to the rock. Yeah. Yeah. Coke. You don't get, you don't, well, you can't get hard, but you don't come. Right. And then booze, you don't get hard.

That's easy. You're trying to save yourself. Right. You know what I mean? But you got to be, you got to be careful out there pigeons. All right. If you're fucking holding for somebody, right? You drop that shit.

You don't fucking take it for anybody. You just make sure the only thing you ever say to a cop is, it's the only thing you ever say. And that's it. All right. You don't fucking don't sell anybody out. All right. Because you're a pigeon.

You're born free. But overall, I'm not, I don't hate the pigeon. That's good luck. Getting shit, getting shit on by a pigeon is a superstition. It means you're about to come into money. Oh. Wow. Okay.

It didn't happen. Yeah. Now talking about technology taking over, here's another guy, this guy. So last week we covered about like, you know, people are really putting the word Tesla ahead of everything because I want to make sure you click it for some reason. But this guy, we'd say the last guy fell asleep with autopilot in and running from the cops, which is hilarious. Right.

So this guy tried to do the opposite, Darmash Arvind Partel, he did, Darmash Arvind Partel, he decided to do his different thing where he's decided to try to blame the improper autopilot technology of the Tesla on him trying to kill his entire family. It's a brilliant idea because it's a good time to put it in the news sphere if you're really trying. This is a good time to blame Tesla. Speaking of kids movies, I love that new homicide cars, fantastic film. It is very dumb what he tried to do.

So he drove his Tesla off the Pacific Coast Highway down a 250 foot cliff to attempt to murder his wife and his two children. Now there's some people now because he said it was an accident. I was an autopilot and it, and it did, it jumped. And that's how it first came out. Right. When the news story came out, it was like, Tesla, try Tesla car tries to kill its own family.

Right. You're like, yeah, fun. You know, cool story. And it turns out he just jerked it to the left and then was like, oh, you know how these autopilots are always trying to kill everybody. And he is not incorrect. But this time it turned out it was a lie because he was trying to kill his family in the dumbest way possible.

Yes. He has been charged with attempted murder and child abuse. So apparently they've all survived. So he wasn't even able to do that. Now, this is my thing. That's gotta be rough when you get into the accident and then afterwards you have to like to your whole family is like, why are you getting arrested? And I thought we were about to go talk to the insurance company and it's like, nothing.

Don't look at my phone. Tried to kill you. But anyway, we have a lot of, we pay a lot of taxes here. Now when it comes to the roads, they're 50 50, but now why not put a little barrier here because it says it's called quote, the devil's slide cliff. It's awesome. So, but yeah, but why now you call it devil's slide. So you know you die, right?

But why not just build a little wall that says, okay, now you can't crash your car over the devil's slide cliff. They named it knowing that people just kind of slide off of this and go to hell. No, because it's cool. Why not help so that people can't drive off the cliff? What's cause you shouldn't be trying to kill your family with it. No, I know. But what if it was an accident and then you're like, I feel down devil's slide.

It's like, well, why does that? Why is that there? I mean, devil's slide most of the time when I'm on the devil's slide, it's taken me straight to Gucci. But this time it's taken these people to the fucking to the crevasse of the other on the other sides of the, the British of the California coastline. There is a small like little thing, right? There is a small like gate that it went over.

Okay. There is. I've driven this before. I've driven this before. I don't like the idea of driving near the devil's slide. I don't like the fun nature of like you die if you make a mistake. Don't even think about having to be in your car around this corner. Well, that is very fall off this clip.

Maybe again, we could just call it like the nice wall, like friendly wall. If you really look at this, right? If you look at the actual, what the devil's slide looks like, there's actually root. You legitimately have to pull your car off of this thing. Right. You have to drive your car off of this thing if you want it to go off. There is enough room and you have this little ridge of stone here that also could catch you. So he literally was aiming for it.

Like he was trying to do. It's beautiful. That's why you're doing it because of the uninterrupted view. I remember one time Natalie and I drove up the PCA. She got violently, violently ill because it is just twists and turns back and forth. It's really fun. And there's nowhere to stop. Right.

You just have to literally smush your car up against the embankment and hope nobody creams you. And then you just throw up off the side of the thing. But that's what I'm saying. Like, but to kill your family, you should do it the old fashioned way. Like this guy from Enoch, Utah did and just use a gun because he killed seven members of his family. And I believe he committed suicide.

Well, and then kind of finished the job there. Michael hate. Well, with this guy, with Patel, I think he was trying to outthink the system. So this happened on January 2nd. Talk about a hangover and it was 1050 in the morning, San Francisco area officers were dispatched to the call of a vehicle over the cliff. And then apparently they, they found the emergency personnel repelled down in the vehicle located four occupants, two adults, two juveniles.

The occupants were rescued from the vehicle and transported to a local hospital with serious injuries. The wreckage is terrifying. But how is just upside down. So this actually makes Tesla look good because the car didn't like explode because I think that he thought it was going to explode, but it's not a gas car. So that is kind of dry. I don't even think about this.

He tried, he tried to figure out a way to blame Tesla for killing his family, but then all he proved was that the safety gauge works really works. And then there's no gas in the car. So it doesn't like have any kind of explode yet. Oh my God. Yeah. That's fucked. That's not good, man.

It's more shows seat belts work. Yeah. Um, they were scared more than they were hurt. Yeah. It was really bad. And I actually wonder if that's why they said that he tried it. I wonder if he did the thing. If they're all like, daddy, where's my switch, daddy, I want a milkshake, daddy, you want

to go on vacation. He's like, God damn car wrap. And then the wife was just like, you didn't get the roof things and he's just like, God damn it, woman. I mean, like I, hopefully that's not how it happened. I feel like they must, they know something that they're charging him with a crime and I don't know why they're charging him with a crime yet. So someone must have said something like he tried to kill us.

If you are a child out there, when it comes to your father, let him drive, let him drive it also, especially if you're near the devil's slide clip. Now, if you're near a while while you're driving through Texas, it's all land. You get all land. It doesn't matter. Annoy the shit out of him. What are you going to do? Don't touch your father's.

Don't touch him while he's driving. Okay. That's my main thing. Don't touch him. Don't hit your brother. Don't hit your sister. I used to sing. You're all 40.

When I was a kid, with my dad in the back, I was like six and I said, leave the truckers alone. Leave the truckers alone. Honestly, a lot of times the truckers do a lot of like crimes. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe he was masturbating, but my dad got quite upset. He said, shut up, man.

I said, okay. So I actually don't think even masturbating while driving is to be honest. I don't even. I'm going to get very dangerous because especially if you lose your brakes when you're going down. No, no, no. Yes. Of course you're distracted.

You should be masturbating. But I'm also saying, but it's other crimes. Trucker crimes. Oh yeah. Like the murders. Yeah. Many, many, many murders. The sex stuff, the murder stuff gets bad.

That's different, but not all truckers are bad. No, they're not. For the most part, they give us a lot of our goods that we need. You get your cores. And that's why I'm against what's happening in New York, but we're going to talk about that on top of it. A lot of it snitch city. Wow.

New York city. So anyway, after 11, the witnesses said the vehicle plunged hundreds of feet, flipped and landed on its wheels. So if you're this guy, you have to be like, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I guess God wanted them to live. God damn it.

God damn you. He's me. What a moron. Now I have more exciting news on what? Is it another fucking giant sighting AKA a person? No, that was cool. That guy, that is still a mystery. It is.

That has not been known. I understand. It's kind of a mystery. But it's more bigfoot. Now, listen, the reason why this is good, right, comes from the Washington highway patrol video. Oh, this is an officer. Now this is from, well, it's from the government, you know, all government cameras you're, you

couldn't really rely on. They don't lie. They can't lie. They can't lie. Right. Now there are some people that, so the reason why I'm showing this is because they recently a tick tock, a tick tocker posted this video saying like brand new video, bigfoot, blah, blah, blah.

It's real. It's not brand new video. Well, but the video is really compelling. It's due to them, but they acted like it was new. And it's just again, it's just like a tick tock thing where they just say things. Yes. They just kind of say things. No, I know.

My little brother is on it. And then he comes into my den sometimes with a piece of information that I know is totally false. And then I said, where'd you hear that? And it's tick tock. And he's like, well, listen, we just need to hold the cross reference. All you do is put that sound behind it and say it in a, to be honest with you, mostly call me feminine voice.

Yes. You learn to the opposite from the news. Basically, they're doing the same thing the mainstream news used to do, which is that it's about how you package it and then it seems super legit. It's fine. But this is good footage, though. All right, let's see it. So now this was filmed outside of the Washington Mountain Pass.

I'm going to show it to you when you watch it and you tell me what you think, right? Look at this fucking guy. Look at that UFO. No, look at that bigfoot. Right? Look at him go. Look at him walk. He's got the arm movement.

I don't, I actually, it looks more person like to me. I've been, I just, you know, I try. I know. I want to. I feel like I'm talking to my father. I love the bigfoot. I'm just saying that. I try to look father.

Look what I've done, father. Okay. So what's the information behind it? It's because obviously it's fucking freezing cold. So yes, why is this person out there? What are they doing? He's walking. That's it.

That is it. Well, I mean, hey, you know, it comes from the Washington state highway cameras. That's what they're saying is interesting. And then we comb through it and they actually are the ones that put it out there. Like Washington state department of transportation, like a spot of this, but again, but what's the Psyop for? It's, it's probably the son of a sheriff who's going to have sex with a corpse buried out there 15 years ago.

And then we're like, no, that's a Sasquatch. That's not Gary in the year of our Lord fucking 2023. I can't put him past him. I think that you, you might be right. It might be a Psyop trying to cover up a cabal of these people. I don't know. He looks cold. He looks very tall.

He could be a man. It is high. It is not as good at footage as the other stuff was. All right. The other stuff is better footage, but I still, I, there's a part of me that still thinks that whatever it is, whatever the phenomena is when it comes to big foot, especially, I think that's the one we can still prove. Let me just check out what kind of shoes you're wearing.

Oh, he's wearing his Nike backtrack. Whoa. He is backtracking today. Right from your play. Get the grocery store and take control of your time and budget with delicious. It's restaurant quality recipes delivered right to your door. Make your home in your restaurant and then you always know where the bathroom is. If you're looking for an easy way to eat and save money this year, hello fresh is a great

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Body parts. Now, obviously we all have home, but we die. And I was watching YouTube videos and we do live after death. I was watching YouTube videos and people do die and they come back and they say we do have life after death. So don't worry about it. Yeah, but that's cause they didn't die. They did die.

They didn't die though because they were dead for 10 minutes. But if he was dead, he wouldn't come back. You know what I mean? He was still yet to be alive. No, he was dead until they brought him back alive. This is my question. Sides to results LPOTL21.com. Are you dead the second you stop breathing or you're dead?

No, not the breathing. But I'm just saying. The brain. I feel like you're dead when you're cold either way. There's life after death. Don't stress it. So there was a woman and this is just a vessel that we're in. This is the casing.

Oh, I believe. No, believe me. No, believe me. We were delivered into these cases. Some people are more blessed. We're more blessed than others. Yes. Right?

Cause other people don't fuck like us. They don't fuck like us. They don't eat like us. They don't drink like us. Absolutely. They don't dance like us. That's what I say. Every time I walk around here in California, Los Angeles, I say, I'm so lucky to look

like me as opposed to that very handsome man over there. No, we look like producers. All right. So a Colorado funeral home owner, she has been sentenced to 20 years in prison. Look at this woman. Yes. She used for the illegal. She has got some hair.

She does. Her name is. She looks like a fucking Lego figure. Her name is Megan Hess. So she's got 20 years. There was 560 corpses, right? And apparently she was dissecting them and selling the body parts without permission. Yes.

Which is a difficult thing because you go. You bring your, you're supposed to be burying your fucking papu and then you don't understand that you're burying a fucking shoebox full of also would. Do you think that it's because it was without permission? Yes. Because why not just give a kickback to the kids or the family members? Because it doesn't matter if you can mine me for parts. Oh, Bob.

If someone's like, I'll give you a 50 grand for an arm. Get the money, bro. Absolutely. I don't give a fuck what do I care? You know that. I completely, I completely agree. Once you are dead, you are fucking just me. You just meet, do whatever you want with my fucking husk.

I don't care. But like, take it, take my organs. I'd love to sell them because then other people could benefit. But it's still obviously very touchy and you do need people's permission and it does get to a point where like, but that's the true difference. It shows how small and little the things that you need to do to be a decent human being are. Or if you just an email saying, Hey, what if I fucking grind up Nana for now you give

me three grand I could turn into her people dust and I can sell that to China for some reason. Right. And then if you like agree, you're like, yeah, Nana would love that. Although it still would be illegal, but at least no one would be pressing charges perhaps. The interesting thing is here. So Megan has his 46. She did this with Charlie Cox and that is Shirley Cox as her mother and she is 69 years

old. Now the 69 year old was sentenced to 15 years because it was her central role. Her central role was shopping up the bodies. It's cool. She's got her 69 year old grandmother in her body's dog. There's something almost sweet about this. It's a mom and pop. It's a mom and a daughter and they're both old and they're both just like, this is the

family business, honey. And then they just go and they get like half off coffee at Perkins and they eat and everyone's just like, what a nice couple. You know, they were in the funeral home. So be respectful to them. Otherwise they're going to chop you up and sell your body parts. And when you die, I think that people are mostly. Just concerned with the grizzliness of the crime.

I think it's also their age and their cuteness and they're they're like mommy and their mommy and grandmommy like selves have actually damned them in a way because they both look like cute little grandmas and then it turns out they run a body farm and it makes everybody kind of super uncomfortable. But all you really have to do again is get permission and then you can make those titties into paper weights all you want as long as you have permission and you can sell the parts. Like that's where it gets going because again, you're you're people are paying you either for a service, right?

You're paying you're paying for it. You're paying to be taken care of and then someone goes and then rips it up again. It just comes down to it's it is strange though, in a way that it's about like the money. It's always about it's always about the money. Somebody really wanted to pay a lot of money for a calf. So the federal case was triggered by a 2016 to 2018 Reuters investigation series into the sale of body parts in the United States. Now former workers told Reuters that Hess and Koch conducted unauthorized dismemberments

of the bodies and then the FBI raided the business in 2018. Again, is it the biggest issue in the country? Probably not. But nonetheless, they got a lot of people on the case again if people are very creeped out. Yes. According to U.S. District Judge Christine M. Argulo, she says, this is the most emotionally draining case I have ever experienced on the bench.

Damn. She says it's concerning to the court that the defendant Hess refuses to assume any responsibility for her conduct. Hess's lawyer said she's been unfairly vilified as a witch, a monster, a ghoul. This is the thing. When instead she is a broken human being. So her defense, her defense is literally, her defense is literally tell him I'm broken. I just also don't understand being like, wouldn't you rather be a ghoul than broken?

I'd rather be like, yeah, I'm a fucking ghoul. Yeah, I sell tits for money. That's what I do. You know what I mean? Like that's your business. This is the business we've chosen. 26 victims described their horror after discovering what happened to their loved ones. According to Emma Aaron Smith, she says, our sweet mother, they dismembered her.

We don't have a name for a crime this heinous. I mean, I think we do. It's dismemberment. Yeah. Unauthorized selling of human body parts. We do have the name of the crime. But yeah, it's very sad. Yeah.

According to Tina Shannon, whose mother was dismembered against her will. She told the court, I've worn many masks to cover the pain. I'll never be okay. Again, I hate that clown mask though. That creeps me the fuck out that she needs to stop that. And then when she started stressing like the Riddler, it's like, I think this is past, it's not about pain anymore. And just so you know, it is illegal in the United States to sell organs such as hearts,

kidneys and tendons for transplant. Why is that illegal to sell? They must be donated by selling body parts such as heads, arms and spines, which has been for research or education is not regulated by federal law. So to be honest, they could have just gone through the red tape and done it legally. That's the idea. That's what I'm saying is that that's all they had to do. Technically, that whole grizzly business is there for them for the taking, they want

them to do it. I understand. I have a different approach to a lot of things in life that just sort of has sort of learned over the years when I hear other people speak. But when it comes to like Tina Shannon, they say, I'll never be okay with they're already dead. Do you like if so, when your papa dies in your mind, all of us, we are all, you know, we're all going to have someone dead.

I don't like when we lost our good friend, you don't really see the it's not the person in there anymore. I so I don't know. I don't. I just don't think I would have that much of an emotional reaction be like, what did you do? Why the fuck would you do that? It's really just about.

I don't know. I think that the very end it's really just about the people are very emotional about their loved ones. This is their loved ones. But their loved one is now gone. I know, but they want to be the ones telling you what we're going to do with the body. It's ours to tell it with. And again, if you want to do it all above board, you absolutely could, you could.

But the fact that they didn't shows that they're ghouls, but it is interesting that one, one sheet of paper makes you go from legitimate body salesman to full ghoul. Well, the Hess family was charged because they would charge people a thousand dollars for cremations, right? But then they would never cremate the body and they would harvest the organs. So, but in that case, then a person paid a thousand dollars is about a better business bro thing. This is again, this is how American this is how American this is all it's all Henry's

a brash gear with a bit of your muffins aren't big enough and you're doing this aren't sweet enough. The mufflers went, but no, it's the, it's because they're paying that is the very hard of it. We're paying for a service that we did not get. But they're paying a thousand dollars to burn the corpse of the person that they love into ashes. Yeah, it's very difficult and that to them is more comforting than I don't know chopping

off an arm. I don't know. This is you and I, you and I are both in the, you and I are both in the world of throw my body in the trash when I die. So it's different. We have a different set of values than these people do. I guess like the woman that I try to actually get a bunch of work on this done, but I have to go deeper into this.

I want to do with this subject at some point, a Mrs, a Ms. Ruth who's 58 years old because we asked a question last week because I asked the super pertinent, very important question during the Elan schools series about do little people, clucks, clan members have to get their stuff made custom, right? Or they just buy it for kids and it turns out they're actually, I don't want, by the way, Klansman costumes for kids doesn't sound good. It's cute. Okay.

Klansman costumes your kids. That's cute. Now, and Ms. Ruth actually makes most of them. There is a five generations of clucks plan members buying from a 58 year old woman that works with she. She makes these outfits or about a hundred to 150 bucks per person. She gets a, you have to send in your measurements. It's just somebody.

Look at this woman. It is just this woman with the little Bluetooth headphone on smoking cigarettes in front of her quadriplegic daughter that she takes care of full time. She does look full of hate. She does. She says she does it full of love because she does what? Of white people, white supremacy because she does it. She says to raise her daughter, right?

She makes money to raise her 40 year old quadriplegic daughter and then she blesses each one. She makes these satin things. She blesses them. She has God bless each one of them because she says like these men are misunderstood. I mean, they're very understood. That's the whole point. They tell you exactly what they think there. That's their whole thing is to be understood.

It's just crazy. It's her entire market. It's her entire, like it's her whole life. She just takes orders and makes Ku Klux Klan robes and sends them out. This is according to their mother Jones, but I did not get because it had all of these podcast things attached to it that have since expired. So I couldn't listen to any of the stuff that she said. We want to talk to you about Spring Hill Jack coffee.

That's a small business that doesn't involve making Klan's hoods. Nope. Nope. Not anymore. And we've been thankful and we've made the changes that we need to make in order to sell coffee completely above board. Yes. We're also selling heads and spines attached, which I'm really excited for our new thing.

I can't wait for our new merch where it's just buy a new brain for Papu. Yes, indeed. Also as Henry alluded to, there was a dude named Michael Haight, apropos last name. He killed his wife. He killed his mother-in-law. There's not a very compelling story there yet right now because he killed his wife, threatened divorce, and then he killed the literal entire family. I wonder why she wanted to get her divorce.

It seems like he may have been unhinged with massive issues. Well, she said there was no sign of violence up until then. They had no clue that he would react in this way, which we'll find out about that. And then also the story of the six-year-old shooting his teacher who just took the gun away from his parents. That was very sad. Very sad. But with the...

And again, it's just us. So we're different. We're kind of... I mean, I know you're married, but also by traditional standards, some people would say you live a bachelor lifestyle. I mean, I... We got no kids, right? We get to still be fun.

Yes. This guy's got four fucking kids. The wife is like, I want a divorce. The reaction here is, I'm going down to... Bye. Bye. I'm going to go down to Buffalo Wild Wings. Peace.

Do all those things I'm not able to do right now. You got four kids now. I'm going to go suck dick, eat ass, eat pussy in Phoenix, Arizona. I'm literally going to get in my car and be like, peace, you frumpy bunch of people. I'm out of here. And the next relationship he doesn't have to have kids because he's already got the four kids. Ever.

He's already got the four. One is just... I don't understand. I don't know. We'll never understand. We talk about this all the time. Nat and I always talk about this. Just get divorced.

We'll just get divorced. Never kill. Never kill. No. Absolutely not. All right. Well, I think it's almost time for Hero of the Week. Okay.

Hero of the Week. Let's do it. This week's Hero of the Week. It's kind of an interesting one. Oh, is it this time? Yes. Great. That's different.

Yes. So engineering, some people might say engineering, boring. Or nanowood needs training and also engineering is why we have roads. Exactly. That's why it's actually very exciting. The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers. Every year they have a calendar. And this year is 2023.

So they have... Are we really making the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers this year over the week and their hot bod calendar? You'll see. So this year it's 2023. So their calendar is the 2023 calendar. It should be, yes. And they apparently they were having a hard time giving these away because again, they're

free. And this year they did something really funny. They put cats in the pictures of all the buildings that they made and all the structures that they were able to create. Look at the cat. All these devices are used for death. So no, those are dams. So the cats are in there.

Yeah, they're just rebuilding a city. Rebuilding a city. So anyway, cats are just like in war. They're at war scenes. So the hearer of the week is the 2023 US Army Corps of Engineers calendar. I'm normally like confused or like like disgusted, but I'm like concerned about this year. I know. Because again, this is so cute.

No, because it's really like it's just so pro war. No, it's not. I mean, it's just so the cats are a way to sell the military industrial complex. These guys make like dams and other weapons over. The district engineers operate locks and dams along the Columbia River. They provide flood risk management using dams. It also maintains organs coastal rivers for navigation. Okay.

Good clarification and leads the nation in hydro power. You know what? I still think this is very stupid and I don't think that it's a good choice, but at least I now feel a little bit. I feel less scared of the choice. Their workers ensure equal attention to environmental protection along with fish and wildlife. That's fantastic. And according to somebody here, they say, quote, we're glad they added a picture of

a giant litter box to keep their sites tidy. Okay. That is actually that's I am fine with it. I'm neutral with that. I feel like that makes sense almost. Yeah. I think it's just something and what a way to keep track of the days as the year goes on and mark, you know, what you got to do there in the calendar.

So the 2023 US Army Corps of Engineers calendar featuring giant cats superimposed on their engineering successes. You're here of the week. You know, honestly, and in that way, I actually would make the cats, the cats are the hero. The calendar is the hero. Well, the calendar. The calendar helps you keep time. We're just moving on.

We're just going to move on. Structure. We don't really need to get all up and we were going to make a calendar, weren't we? We were trying to make a calendar. I would still be down to do a calendar. Yeah. I don't know if anyone would buy it. I mean, I feel like there's a lot.

We have a big population of listeners in prison that I think that it would really love to see us in various states of the world. I mean, it's how you know how long you got. I think they mark it on the wall. Don't I? I don't know. I think they do that. I think that's from the count of Monte Cristo.

Oh, I don't know if they really do that. Do you want to know how long you have left or you just want to like play it by ear? I just read, dude. I work out. I just work out. She got like 10 years. I would just forget time exists until time to go. It goes by fast.

I don't think so. No, I think solitary confinement seems to be really slow. Yeah. You're talking about solitary confinement. I've done a bunch of series of crimes. If I'm there for like, you know, a five-year jump or whatever, I'm going to probably, yeah, I'm going to get real tight. I'm going to work out.

I'm going to read the Quran. I'm going to do, uh, I'm going to get real into crocheting and stuff. There's a whole program right now, Prisoners Crocheting, which kind of nice. They got to fucking cut off some of the swats because apparently they're very easy to crochet because it's just four lines. I don't know. That's the thing. It's because you want to teach them flowers or stuff, but it's very complicated.

I don't really have any letters this week. No letters. No. Because the one I had, honestly, there was a letter that I have. It's just, now that I'm looking at it, it's real depressing. And so we feel like this week's episode of Last Podcast on the left is going to be more, it's going to be less sad than it was. Yeah.

This one's going to be a little bit more, a little bit more like, you know, kind of find out the origins of the Elon school. So I'm going to wait because we're going to, you're guys are going to get some sad. And I do want to shout out the Joe versus Elon comic book that is absolutely fantastic. It's just Joe Rogan versus Elon Musk. What is happening? It is, Freelon Death Thought School. I think that guy would, I would pay to see it though because say what you will about.

I mean, the thing about Joe is he is, say whatever you want about him, he can kick. He can kick. Yes. But yes. Yeah. This is just an absolutely, it is a comic book that's a, it's a shout out. It's a shout out to this comic book that they're still working on. It is about this man's like experience within the Elon school and it is harrowing.

It is, I actually kind of got like teary going through it and it's a lot. So again, it's another kind of, one of the things that we're reading as a part of our series, we have like six or seven resources for the series and it was just, wow, it is just, it's a lot. So yeah. Absolutely. And thanks for everyone who's given us great feedback here on the troubled teen industry. It is intense man.

Nastyness and to all these survivors out there, keep on trucking along. You're doing great. You're out and you're thriving and we're going to burn these places to the ground. And you're going to love every day knowing that you're not in there anymore. Now you're a full breasted adult. Oh, right. And as a full breasted adult, guess what you get to do every New Year's Eve, if you want to, you get to go down into that water, wait for that walrus to show up and start

jerking off. Right. Because you think it happened to one time, it can definitely happen again. Oh, it'll happen now every time. And then you can laugh thinking about, man, I wonder what that walrus is thinking about. Well, it has to have a spank bank. What's his fantasies like? There must be some walrus that he saw like five years ago.

What does a walrus find attractive, right? Do animals think about other animals when they jerk off? That's a question for the emails. Side stories, LPOTL, gmail.com, do animals fantasize about other animals when they're having sex with a boring animal or an animal that you don't find attractive? Yes. Right. Because we always see like monkeys are always jerking and jerking and jerking.

Yeah. They're thinking about like, oh, Pamela from second grade, Tia Carrera. Yeah. Remember? Oh, Tia Carrera. Absolutely. And you can live knowing that fact when we know that for a shirt and you can live with that knowledge.

You know that you can live with another factoid like we have here at last podcast and left that haunts our very days. If animals do think about other animals while they jerk off, I'll stop eating meat. You know what? I might be with you. Yeah. If they know enough to fantasize, if animals have a spank bank. Yeah.

Wow. Because then we are literally too similar. I will take at least a month off of meat every year. You heard of your first. If you could prove an animal as a spank bank. So if you, and honestly, and I would really prefer if you can give me that answer in person at the WhizBrew show, page seven show at downtown Los Angeles. How would you prove that?

Show me. I want to see. How do you prove an animal as a spank bank? I would say, hmm. I know they get in the brain somehow. They get in the brain. Have they find the snakes that fucking clits? Well, right?

They went around. They fucking play with the bean. It is at the bourbon room. Come and join us. We will be there for Los Angeles. There's also got shows right before that they have a show in beautiful San Francisco at the independent. That is on Friday in January 13th.

And then Sunday, January 15th, you come down to Los Angeles at the bourbon room. You might see some old friends there. Perhaps the most creative form of animal masturbation is that of the bottlenose dolphin dolphin. It's observed wrapping, oh my God, which has been observed to wrap a live wriggling, wiggling eel around its dick. That shows that it's fucking, they are as advanced as we are. They use eels as flesh like. Yeah, man, because they wiggle around, man.

They don't got to do it themselves. It's kind of fun when something else is doing it. We know that and they know it. All right, let us know. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Magustalations, everybody. Another day where somehow we read a lot.

God dumber. God dumber indeed. I'm going to go down this rabbit hole, see what these rabbits are jerking off to. Now you're going to whore me. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.