Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Murderous Butt

Episode Date: May 26, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a corpse is found inside a dinosaur statue, Casey Anthony has a drink dumped on her at an Irish pub, a woman murders her lover with her ass, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. You know what I love? What? You know, I love number one. I love when something I have no interest in watching is just kind of thrown at me on multiple different platforms

from various different screens from all over my phone. Like something like. Oh, my God. I'm going to call it the privileged complaint department. Listen to me, bro. Oh, you're complaining for too much content. You're complaining because you have too much content. Yes, I'm talking about this. The fact that the Friends reunion has showed me

that they all now have the same face. Number one. Wait, they're making a new Friends? They're just having a sit down. Let's pick the Friends brains about what it's like to be very rich and now old because they're not that old. When you that's the problem, man, is that when you like something, you know, whoever it is, whatever the nostalgia

entertainment comes out, right? Is it you liked it at the time when all of the people in it were young and vibrant and tight in their faces where it's, you know, like everyone looks. I've seen the cast of Friends now. They don't look horrible. They're not monsters. They're not starring in a Honey Boo Boo remake.

Matthew Perry looks like Vincent D'Onofrio from Men in Black. Matthew Perry's been through a lot. I guess so. Welcome to Side Stories. I am now angry. But it's just because Henry Zabrowski is with me and he is demeaning the great face of Matthew Perry.

I am coming for him because it just, honestly, it throws a feeling on it because it makes your memories age as well. Yes, I understand the age of time. I actually had a very similar conversation when watching the new Grubhub commercial starring Wayne and Garth from Wayne's World. Well, that was just.

Because they make them look young and I know they're not young, even though they're not super old. You're just talking about how scientists say we can live to 150. Wait a second, you're saying that they look young in that? No, they want, it's uncanny valley. Yes. Where it's like they're not young.

They're hovering in this middle world where you're just, I understand. But totally for stem cells, I say every single, I think everyone should have one pregnancy terminated just so those fetuses can go to make or celebrities. I wonder celebrities look younger. You can't mandate that. But it's just a soft idea.

It's a suggestion. We can't get people vaccinated and now you're gonna start forcing abortions? One round. This is great. Just to help the celebrities look young again because they know that it's all just stem cells and it's because they do get the blood from the young.

That is true. They have blood transfusions from younger people. I know. In order to extend their lives because they're all prepping for the breakaway civilization. All of these celebrities have inside information. Obviously, this is as close as I get to Q.

They have this inside information where they know that they need to prep their bodies to live longer in space and they are going to break away from us to go live their fantasy, fucking whatever was it. What was it? That. Mars.

Central Perk? Sure, could be. But on Saturn? Oh, I see. Yes, indeed. Well, I will say this. Q was nothing more than a smokescreen to cover up that exact thing that you just said.

The facts that you just spewed to our audience. The unbelievable truth. I can see cars swerving right now into other cars. I can see someone yelling at a McDonald's employee. You just put so. Rude dooners. Rude dooners are coming. And my God, for the first time,

people are unhappy about it. Isn't that nice? But also important, if you really want to avoid becoming one of these people that swerves your car into oncoming traffic, check out our vape line. We still have some weed vapes left in Whedon, which I believe is the one in Santa Ana, and then Boulevard, which is in San Diego.

So you go and you buy these vapes. Our goal is to bring these vapes to Los Angeles and what I need to do is you need to sell the other ones and then we can bring them to Los Angeles. Nothing has really changed from the Donner party. We really need to get the vapes to Los Angeles, but we got to sell those other vapes. We're just struggling businessmen like John Candy

in planes, trains, and automobiles, but instead of little, what do you call those vapes? Shower, curtains, rings. We're selling vapes. He had his dead wife in the fucking back. That's what I always said. Also, I have to apologize, over the past 15 years of recording, I've always said Bill Gates

was one of the good ones. And it seems the more information that comes- Nobody with a billion dollars is ever good. But he did some good stuff, but then now we're learning so much other stuff and I'm like, wow, the mischievous mind of a horny nerd can never be underestimated to how much damage they can cause. Sometimes a horny nerd can change the scope of sci-fi writing.

Frank Herbert is an example. Great. But sometimes a horny nerd is exactly what you need, and a horny nerd is what develops a lot of things. Adam Silver, he's a great MBA commissioner. Horny nerd, David Stern, the commissioner before him. Horny nerd, good guys. But I believe Bill Gates and a lot of these guys

all got tainted once they obviously saw the lives of someone like Bill Gates' good friend, Jeffrey Epstein, the way he was living his life. And I think these billionaires- How many massages can you have? You know, I don't- It's three a day, he was getting- See, isn't, at what point don't they become uncomfortable?

Cause even when I was in Australia, and we went down under and I went to get a massage, I didn't even take my pants off. Not that I'm shy. That's kind of renegade. But it's just kind of scary. I love being touched. I love a massage.

No, I know that. I isolate that audio. But I do. Every human needs to be touched. I agree. But I like a massage. But I don't need one on my front. Cause I don't, first of all,

I save my cum for my beautiful wife. Oh my goodness. And I don't need someone else just releasing it. No, not anymore. Okay. Not since I turned 33. That's my Jesus here. And then you release it.

You release it. And then the tiny little sand truck will go down to the desert and pop. That's where I will have, I will propagate. As little me's will eventually come out of the ground like the cicadas that are losing their butts while they're tripping balls. We talked about that last week.

We did. So once a year, you don't give your beautiful wife, Natalie, from Spun, check out Spun. If you haven't checked it out, you don't give her just a vat of cum and saying like, I made this all year for you. You don't do that anymore. I don't make enough for it to be impressive.

Okay. But Bill Gates, number one, I wonder if just having a billion dollars turns you into something else no matter what. Even though he tries, remember he made, he was making the better feeling condom. That was his big venture a couple of years ago.

I didn't remember that. He was trying to make like actually good condom so that in order to stem the rise of the AIDS epidemic, he also was working on various, so we now know deep into the vaccine scene and like working on antiviral technology and bacteriology, bullshit, all this kind of shit. So the problem is that they believe.

It was beating some people. Well, yeah, they believe that their money that they pump into one side of the system fixes all of their personal sins, which is then you get all of these innocent people that are on the good side of your business, all tied up with your crimes or whatever comes out to be, whatever you're associated with after the fact,

and because you have this whole system where everybody's complicit, and if you destroy one section of it, you destroy all of this helpful part along with all of the disastrous actual destructive bullshit. It sounds like you have been planning something. Wow, okay, good point. The yin and the yang.

One does not offset the other. Of course, when it comes to Bill Gates, he's going through a divorce and there was no, he hasn't, but there hasn't been any like, he did this, that, and the other thing. It's just oftentimes birds of a feather fly first class together,

and it is not good what happens up there. No, it doesn't. I mean, except I was at first, we were first class. No, we're not first class. No, we're talking private. Private, yeah. I've never flown private.

We are still by wealthy people standards. We're poor, we're to them. Well, they're just like, you're flying Delta, and they laugh at you and laugh at you, but I don't. I just like to get all the way to diamond status. You feel like a celebrity. It's one of the more remarkable things.

I haven't been able to accomplish it, but I can't wait, and I'm just so excited for you and Marcus to one day die and gift me your diamond and medallion points. Speaking of death and updates, this story, I'm going to say, as far as Casey Anthony news goes, this is light.

This is pretty light. This is almost like hot goss, page seven, Jackets of Browsky, MJ. This is like, oh, she's still a woman. She's still just like us. She was in South Florida at this bar. Her favorite bar is a place called O'Shea's in West Palm Beach, which I mentioned,

there are 37 of those. I would assume so. It is an authentic Irish pub. Oh, you know it's authentic, because it's in Southern Florida. Yeah, that's where all the Irish went, because you know how the Irish love the sun. We love the heat.

Casey Anthony calls the cops after her quote unquote arch nemesis poured a drink over her at a Florida bar in a bust up over a guy the pair had both dated. First of all, I want to meet this bro. Oh, what is- The luckiest slash unluckiest man around. So this, the name of the woman was Thelma Moya.

And she poured the drink on top of Casey. She poured it on her leg. You can, on top of Casey. That is still your whole body is, that is fine. She called the cops because her knee got beer on it. The irony is the cops have actually been fairly good to her, haven't they? Oh, they love her.

They do. You see this photo, you see footage of her hanging out in the front of O'Shea's, taking pictures with fucking fans, doing a fucking meet and greet, signing shit. It's just a lot of big looking bros, all mac and honor, getting all up in her shit,

taking pictures going like, no baby, no baby, no baby, like high five in each other. Kaylee Anthony, of course, was killed in 2008 at the age of two years young. Casey Anthony right now is beyond megastar status. I think in the world of Florida celebrity, she is right up there with your OJ Simpsons.

And the fact that the person who owns this bar, what do you do? It's day one. All of a sudden you're like, all right. Opening for business, another great day in South Florida, here in the bar scene. And then in walks, Casey Anthony, you can see the shadow as she enters,

definitely a plume of Marlboro or menthol. Oh no, no, no, she might be a vape. Okay, let's do vape, okay, let's do vape. But then you have two options there. You can say, you gotta go, bye bye, you gotta get out of here, or holy shit. Thank you so much for putting our O'Shays on the map. Well, and we know OJ Simpsons big at the,

I think the MGM, like that's his regular spot, no, in Vegas, right? Oh, does he still go to the MGM? Absolutely. That's where he committed the robbery. I don't think he's allowed to go back there. Maybe not, maybe they, or maybe they said, I'm sorry.

Like he got a special like, I'm sorry stool that he can bring in anytime he wants and just sidle up to the bar. But so OJ Simpsons has a home bar. I can guarantee that the bartender at first did not maybe recognize Casey Anthony. No way, no way, she's basic. Bartenders are, she's super basic.

You know that she's not, yes she is. I totally disagree, bartenders number one, they scope, they see, all they do is deal with people. Bartenders are the priests of the secular world. They hear everyone's problems, but unlike priests, they mostly don't diddle you. You begin, well they diddle you, but you gotta be there all night

and you gotta really put in your time with the bartender. I think that Casey Anthony is so well known in South Florida that she has now gone full celebrity status. And I think she, I wouldn't be surprised if half of the time she's grateful for what she did. She walks in at first, maybe you don't recognize her. Then you start to see this woman's getting a lot of attention.

And you know, and even in West Palm, Casey Anthony's still honestly in West Palm, Casey Anthony's like a West Palm seven, right? She walks into this bar. And again, by baby killer standard, she would be a 10 because the competition's not really that high. But so obviously she's got all this attention.

You find out, oh, it's the Casey Anthony. She hangs up, but then I feel like if you're the manager of an O'Shea's, you might just say, we are here. As this is a different clientele, we listen to everyone's story here at O'Shea's. And you know how many people surround Casey Anthony gone, you're fucking even now, huh?

You're talking and you're fucking now. Meanwhile, now I bet you Casey Anthony doesn't even fight anymore. I could imagine Casey Anthony has sort of like a pack. Like I have mean women and a couple of bros around here. They're all like, you don't even knock, I said. And she doesn't say anything. She just sits with her,

cause she's now fully decked out in her. Do you see her in her St. Patrick's Day gear? Of course. Love in the holiday. You know, it's St. Patrick's Day. If you love St. Patrick's Day, it says a lot about who you are as a person. You like to have fun every now and again.

This is what it says to you. And you need a day to forget that you killed your daughter one day of the year. I get to forget I killed my daughter. And now you're going to come up here and spill a drink on my knee. I honestly think I went like, ah, ah, sorry.

No, according to a direct quote from- What do you think you're fucking doing to me? You just made my egg wet. If you make a South Florida woman's egg wet, you are legally allowed to be killed by them. Casey Anthony says it's been going on for years. The issue with this woman. Oh really?

For years. Maybe it's got to do with the fact that you killed your two-year-old daughter. I don't think that Thelma cares. No, I don't think- You're right. You're right. Thelma does not care.

This is about the power of a South Florida D that we could only imagine must have been the most powerful purple- Oh wow. Headed monster in the history of Florida. He has a woman who killed her own daughter just so she could be single for a chance to fuck a man like this.

And then Thelma, who is defending him by threatening someone- That means Thelma was a murderer. Thelma, I always gotta say number one, it's been so fucking sweet dating you dude because you really help me with my guidance. I'm kind of like what you'd call an a la carte party promoter

where if I see someone else throwing a party, I tell other people about it. Then I show up, I say, look at all these fucking sweet bros are brought to your fucking party. Payment bitch. It turns out man, it's hard to get payment when you're freelance.

It does. It is really hard and I wish that people would pay more. Perhaps you surround yourself with horrible people. Maybe. Maybe you do. What? Either way, no, well, yeah.

You hooked up with a murderer and then the other person- She's acquitted, bro. Yeah. I mean, I said, I told Casey, mom, I fucking straight up full fucking lined her when I first lined when I saw her. I was like, Casey, yeah,

you might've been acquitted by the court, but to me, you're real acuted. That's great. Yeah dude, she fucking sucked my dick at the OSHAs that night. I would've gone with, I can't acquit you. That's what I would've gone with. I can't, you're so beautiful.

I can't acquit you. Casey, kissle single. So if you are listening, she sings. Oh my God, what a waking nightmare that would be. Live from your grave. Let's talk about another waking nightmare. This is, oh wow, this just popped up on my phone.

Samuel E. Wright, voice of Sebastian the Crabb and the Little Mermaid is dead. What happened? Did he drown? I don't know, but I love it when that pops up. What alerts do you have on your phone, only Disney characters that have passed away? Like, what kind of macabre phone do you have?

I don't know. In ISAD 10? The Sebastian the Crabb is dead, so. Well, what am I supposed to do on my 2021 Bingo card? I'm gonna keep it in that. I'm gonna throw you out of this building. So this is a story that comes down Mexico way. This is going to eventually be an episode that we will do.

A man only known as Andres N. Is suspected of having murdered at least 15 women. This is the first time, this is coming out. He says, quote, I think there were 15. Femicide suspect admits to killing and eating his victims. This comes from a place. This is in Aztezapan. Oh my God, I have no clue how to say that.

I know that there are several people that have punched. They're like, as they were driving, they punched their steering wheel hearing me say that, but it's Atizaba, Atizaba, Pat. Andres N. It's in Mexico. Yes. It's not in Japan. I just, I just.

Why don't we just go with, why don't we just go with Atizapan municipality? Perfect. Almost something. Honestly. It sounds like something. This is in Mexico City. He got arrested.

I think he found a bunch of remains inside of his home. A bunch of tokens, nail polish, jewelry, IDs. He believes that he might have had 15 victims and he apparently also conveys to eating them. Wow, this dude. So how did he have so many victims? He's 72 years old, which means he's been doing this stuff

for a long, freaking time. They believe that he's been doing this for a long. And is this the guy that they also believe was an officer? No, that's another story. Okay. That is in El Salvador. We'll talk about that one.

An officer that is also being plagued, an officer that has been accused of many sex crimes as well. They have just found dozens of bodies, found this ex-cop's home who was, they're also, the word femicide is coming up quite a bit. It's murder. It is murder.

Kladestein Cemetery in Chautupa is believed to contain as many as 40 bodies. This is, many of them thought to be women and they called it a Kladestein Cemetery, but it's just a man's backyard. Yeah, that's like, that's what they would call John Wayne Gacy's crawl space. But yeah, it's just a dude's house.

That's another guy. So this is, that's two. And then this, the Mexican murderer fellow, Andres N, is actually only two and a half years off of another series of heinous crimes that happened in Mexico. That we are going to cover this. We're going to do killer couples one day.

We've been talking about this for years and we want to do it, but there is a couple that went by the nickname of the monsters of Ekatepec. Ooh, that sounds fun. It's the serial killing couple, Juan Carlos Hernandez and Patricia Martinez. The case, they were called,

it's called the house of horror was well called the case, the butchers of Ekatepec. Oh my God, I'm just ruining this name. But the story is Ekatepec. It is two, they were a pair that they murdered what seemed to be close to 10, between 10 and 20 people. They confessed to cannibalizing the bodies of their victims.

The pair were apprehended on October 4th, 2018 when transporting human remains in a baby stroller. Well, I mean, I guess if you put googly eyes on it, perhaps it'll be nice to pretend you had a normal life just for one second. We don't know a heck of a lot about Andres N yet, but Juan Carlos. The one thing we do know about Andres N.

He also had many recordings of his murders. Yeah, his final victim or one of the victims, he cut her up with a machete. And then, and then he took plastic bags and then threw her away. But before he did that, he, he said to one for me, one for you, one for me. And so apparently he ate a bunch of her.

Why is this like, is it on the rise, this cannibalism? Or are we just hearing about it more? I don't know. I think we're hearing about it more. I think that cannibalism is as old as cuisine. I think that we have been doing it. It is only really, honestly, recently become super taboo over the last 100 years.

Oh my God, are you going to? Wow. You're going to go Dershowitz on this one? We're like, indignantly, litter of lung. You look at people. People used to do a lot of crazy things. That's why I'm the cannibal lawyer. You don't talk to me.

When Night Horse comes on to me and he sees just like, you know how many times it's been like, just take a look at a plump little leg, Henry. What? Night Horse? No, Night Horse. As a matter of fact, we did speak to the cannibal lawyer, the cannibal cop lawyer or a lawyer

who knows the cannibal cop quite well. So there are lawyers who might specialize in cannibal cases. You wait till they come for us for our thought crimes. Well, this is them. One of the monsters of Icatepec, Juan Carlos, the male side of it, his mother was a single mother who allegedly often dressed him as a girl, very similar to Charles Manson,

brought men to our house and forced him to watch her have sex in front of him. They used to do that in roundabout fashion. But then again, massive head injury. And we saw that too with Arthur Shawcross. I mean, we see it across the line with every single serial killer, but. And there's also a lot of people with massive head injuries

who are just lawyers now and maybe they work, maybe they work at the Subway Sandwich and they're a Subway Sandwich artist. Sure, it's just one of the potential excuses, I suppose. It's the lack of imposter control. And there's something about the, when one jiggly part of your brain gets a little bit, you start to look at people and get hungry.

And I don't know why that is. I wish it was different. I wish there was a new hat we could put on you and you didn't want to do that anymore. I wish there was a cologne we could sell you that you could put on and you won't want to be a cannibal anymore. But it seems like what we have to do

is stop feeding people so much sugar and corn and making us so delicious. Isn't that something, that's what we're doing. We're internally brining everyone. So, so far today, I've been accused of pro cannibalism. You said that I was unfair to Matthew Perry. You have said, you were also, you're mad at me about the idea that a bartender would know

who Casey Anthony is. I just think bartenders in South Florida know who everyone is. As I stand by it, they are the priests of the secular world. You don't think Casey Anthony doesn't use a fake name? Because I would figure she'd use a fake name everywhere. I think she walks in and says, it's Casey time

and it just is what it is. You can't escape. Well, she's with Hillary. It back, yeah, I know in RBG. Back in the day, yeah, 90s, you commit a crime. It's on the papers for a little while. If people want to research it, they got to go to microfiche.

But now there's, what other option does she have? I don't know. I guess you just live in your truth. I'm living in my truth now. She has to and it's sad truth. But like, yeah, she can't be like, it's Samantha Casey and be like, are you sure? Are you sure you're not Casey Anthony?

Because people just look on their phones and they'll be like, no, I'm pretty sure you're Casey Anthony. There's some about your face that just makes me filled with rage. What is it? Because you're just a normal little hot woman. Well, she's also stealing people's men. Well, she is.

But guess what girls? There's fucking more men out there. So just let him go. I guess. All right. Well, this story hits close to home. A 225 pound Russian woman, she killed her husband, Henry. Whoa, what?

And this is something that you need because obviously Natalie is not 224 pounds. No. She is bigger than you and she can't kill you. So you need to be very cautious here. But she killed him. Well, hold on. How did she kill him?

With her buttocks. Sign me up. Until you die. You don't have to be 224 pounds to kill someone with your buttocks. Also, I mean, I'm still like, step on me. Wait to how many, how many of our friends have learned Twitter language, like Twitter slang.

Step on me. You're going to try to say this shit out loud. What does step on me? Step on me. What does that mean? I don't know. So like spit in my mouth, Mr. President. That's whatever.

I was poisoning everyone. It's poisoning everyone. TikTok has poisoning people. They don't know. I never even... Oh, fucking, but hurt me. Stick, suck on my asshole, bitch. I don't know if that's on TikTok.

Oh, step on my feet, Madam President. Wow, so great. Kamala when she wins. Could, well, it could be, could be. So this 2020, so this 224 pound Russian woman, she got into a big fight with her husband. So she did kill her with, she did technically kill him with her ass.

But before that, she was strangling him. They were all absolutely hammered. Her name is Tatiana O. And the name, the dude that she killed was a dude named Adar. I mean, look at the smile on his face. They actually kind of look like a cute Russian couple. He's no shrinking violet. He's a big dude himself.

He's a big dude. She is a voluptuous woman that is honestly, look at her hold those green onions. Here we are. She's got her hand around that. Honestly, she's a beautiful cut. She's got that beautiful swimsuits that she's got on her. It's a beautiful cut.

She has, she has a buffet, a baby's buffet up there. Very nice. Oh yeah. You're talking about a father's buffet. Well, speaking of children, Adar's daughter saw him pinned down, faced down on the bed and ran to seek help from the neighbors. A female neighbor arrived shortly after

and was like the couple is in the middle of a domestic dispute. And then Adar died from asphyxia from blocking the respiratory system. But Tatiana, she says here, she merely wanted to calm her husband down after they had been drinking. Because you know how you get,

because you go, I want the butt, I want the butt, I want the butt. And then she said, oh, I gotta fucking, I have to calm him down. And then she, her face was wedged into the mattress as Tatiana sat on his neck using her legs so he could not lift it. Okay, using her face. So he wasn't face up into ass,

which is how I want to go when I'm in hospice. He was smothered into the mattress. He was smothered into the mattress. She used her weight in sort of an Arthur Srockgross fashion, pinned him down with her weight while he was faced down on the mattress and choked him out. But the thing is that, yeah, for me, I've asked Natalie for this and it will be in my will

that she has to sit on my face until I die. But that's only when I'm about to die. She may then end her life in prison because it's still technically illegal. So the wife strangled the husband to death with her buttocks after drinking too much alcohol. That's what all the reports say. I think there may be blame in the alcohol on this a little bit.

She had the murder charge has been dropped, but she was accused of causing death through negligence, which this does not seem like it was negligence. It seems quite purposeful. But anyway, well, she didn't know she was gonna kill him. I think that what it says right here is that she was sitting on him and sitting on him and sitting on him because he was going,

Faggot, come on! And then she was sitting on him and then he stopped moving. And then she was just like, Oh, I did not know my butt could kill. I did not know I should have went to butt training school. Well, she's gonna wanna know something. I mean, you have to realize that 224 pounds of pressure on somebody's neck and then not letting them get up

as they're desperately screaming for you to get off of them is probably not healthy. It's not good. If I'm her, I would be like, there were some signs. But anyway, so the accused, she's frightened and she said she shook him and shouted, Wake up, wake up. But he didn't wake up

because she smothered him with her ass. But she thought maybe for a while, he was like, what could possibly go wrong? It's my ass. I understand. This is a massive fetish and this is great. Everyone loves ass. I mean, even good things can be bad.

True, absolutely. Even water, it doesn't provide us life, but can't you also drown in it? Hydrosis, but I wonder too, at the same time, I guess with the way they formatted this story, I'm almost mad at the New York Post. And I'm one of those. I know, I'm almost mad at them

because in my mind, the way you said, the way the story is framed, that I thought he'd be face up. No, it doesn't necessarily, the ass is still what killed him. He just didn't have to smell it. Like it was Rikishi running towards him when he was lying in the turnbuckles.

This is actually better for him because the smell of ass is fun when you're amped up and the pheromones are flying. He sounded like he was pretty amped up. It sounds like he was being murdered. Yes. Well, it turns out it was. Yes. You know what I mean?

But up until that point, it just sounded like he was being rowdy. It sounds like she's the worst Russian bouncer than I have ever heard. I mean, I don't know. That's really what she's guilty of. She didn't do, I think the problem is she didn't do enough bouncing.

She actually just sat still. If she did a little more bouncing and then maybe it could have gotten more signs of life out of him, giving him some moments of breath. She's the big vanvator of wives. She is a Yokozuna-esque, very dangerous, very scary. I'm still looking at this picture. Men who are out there right now

and you have a beautiful, maybe a thicker wife, you have to realize, much like Danny Mike Tyson, you are also dating a deadly weapon. They can use that butt against you if you don't learn how to communicate with it. So buy him something today. Honestly, go out right now. If you think you might get murdered by your wife's butt

tonight while you're asleep, just go out there. You know what's nice? Even it's just something small, like a shirt. Anything. Just something nice. It's not about the gift it's about. You thought of me. You was like, oh, this is so sweet.

Her favorite candy. Sure. You know what I mean? Like, don't do that though. Again, a gift certificate to a gas station. That's nice because gas is going so high up, but I have learned from my 600 pound, or the 1,000 pound sisters,

one of the gals was dating a fella and he incorporated food into sex and she needs to lose weight. That's what's hard is because it's very dangerous. That's like, if you're a heroin addict, like infusing heroin into your lunch. I actually got into it. Yeah, I don't even know.

Don't do that, please. I got into a hole on Reddit where I don't get sucked into these things all the time. I'm just gonna kind of vaguely talk about this because it creeped me out last night because I was alone and high. Like in my office, I was like, oh no. But it's a story.

And where was your wife? Well, she was like upstairs. It was like. Where is Natalie right now? She's home. Yeah? Forever? Mmm, I love my ghost wife.

Whoa! You'd show up so fricking bruised. I would never kill my wife. No, I know that. She'd kill you. I know. Yes, I'm not scared, but I'm aware, you know? But this story, it's not really anything.

It's a someone on Reddit. So what are we talking about? Someone on Reddit posted about how they had been abducted over and over again in 1987 when they were 12 years old. And it's a story about getting to know the aliens that had picked them up, which were, they went by the names of Janet and Gina. Oh.

And it's this. Are we gonna have to play our old game that we're not allowed to play anymore? Oh, Ghost Aliens are molested. You are mad. This does not sound good, dude. A little bit of O3. This does not sound good.

But I believe it was Janet and Gina, Jack and Gina. Okay. And it's not really a good story. And this is not a good segment for side stories. But there was something about how this story came out. They wrote this post seven years ago. Okay. And they talk about how, you know,

all of the various, highly specific, but anybody can make shit up, right? Of course. Because, you know, you can just make shit up. All these highly specific information about the ship and Jack and Gina and what they were like and their relationship with these entities. But the thing that came, like,

the thing that made like the heros on the back of my neck stand up, as they said, the main thing that they want to talk, the main thing that this person wanted to tell human kind was that in July of 2021, there was going to be some massive change. Okay. And then this was seven years ago.

And so in July of 2021 this year, it's supposed to be the big massive Defense Department's report on UAP, right? It's supposed to come out next month. So it kind of all lined up. And for some reason last night, it creeped me out. Now that I'm reading it, I know that it's fake and stupid, but last night, I was scared.

Synchronicity. Also, listen to last week's top hat. We do talk about, it's interesting how mainstream media is planting the UFO stories in the middle of like massive scandals. Sure. Where they could have been talking about massive scandals. Of course.

But all of a sudden they're like, this is now the time. This is when we have to show these videos. I was talking with you. It's so nasty. It's so nefarious. We're gonna do a big old discussion about disclosure. We're gonna do one of four last podcasts at some point. And just to kind of go over everything we know

that's happened since December, 2017. The problem is that there are good actors and bad actors and all things, especially in the intelligence community. And in the last four years, it does sort of feel like that the intelligence community sort of got to really go into the background while a certain president ran the news cycle every single day.

They weren't on the background. They were mainstreamed into main society. Clapper, Brennan, the whole nine, the intelligence states just completely infused themselves in our media. But they made themselves also to kind of look like fall guys and idiots and all that kind of shit. Like it was the framing of all the stories.

Where now it seems like the real spooks are in charge again. The real intelligence guys that are actually very dangerous are in charge again. And my question is like why? Like what do we get out of disclosure from the US government? Because there's also, there's two stripes. There's the completely relying on the fact

that they are nuts and bolts crafts from another planet. But that's interesting in and of itself. But then there's this other side where it's like within, it's discrediting itself within the community where the scientists that should be attached to this phenomenon don't wanna talk about the psychic aspect of it. Or any of the woo-wee-woo stuff attached to UFOs.

No. Because they think that that makes it like non-viable, like for the government to be involved in. But I actually feel like that's the interesting shit. The interesting shit is. Well that's interesting, but how do you politically use that to gain power? Exactly.

You have to go nuts and bolts in military and that's kind of the angle that's seen. Which is what Space Force is about, right? The whole point is that you can use the fact that we have these things flying around in space around us. We need to put weapons in space to protect ourselves potentially. Space Force, it was like, oh, that's so funny.

That's such a crazy idea, because it was just proposed in such a weird way and it looks like the Star Trek logo. It's so stupid, yeah, because it just shows all of the most nefarious ideas are rolled out cartoonishly. It absolutely is extremely important because the fight for space is happening now.

So anyway, we will talk about disclosure, we love that. I wish that the fucking fight for space should actually begin in the Delta comfort area. I completely agree with you on that, but it would be nice if these massive media corporations didn't use disclosure to cover up the unbelievable corruption within the American political establishment. The American political establishment.

Life from your grave. This is a nice little story about a girl who was 11 years old. She was a fan of the SVU Special Victims Unit show. Oh, great. But apparently she was a bit... I think it's great for 11-year-old to be super into a show where everyone's murdered by rape. Yeah, so she was a...

But a kidnapper, a guy was gonna kidnap her, but she smeared blue slime on him and then the cops were able to be like, you're the one who did it because you have all the blue slime on you. What blue slime? She was just playing with blue slime as a kid. Oh, yes.

Just like gooping and all that. Just slime, literally slime. But she said, no, I'm able to know how to do this. So she wiped a bunch of blue slime all over the dude's arm. The guy ran away and then she was like, you're gonna wanna find the guy with the blue slime. And the cops were able to arrest this guy, Jared Paul Stanga, who looks like a man who should never, ever be alive.

Let me see his face. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He like a lick of the child. It's very possible. He's a disgusting, pretty basic, heavy set white dude. He's 30 years old, he's in jail on 1.5 million dollars. So she slimed him. She slimed him.

So Nickelodeon, thank you. Slime or Ghostbusters, thank you. And it actually worked. And he didn't wash the slime off. I think that she seemed like she was pretty quick acting. So in addition to the slime, the silver bumper of his van had been painted black during the manhunt.

Detectives had described the silver bumper and their bullets into the public. So it seems like there was like a lot of stuff. He had a car that looked like a car that you would go and try to pick up a young child. Yes, and then he tried to do a hasty, like kind of like paint job on it so it looked super sloppy or whatever.

But he still had blue slime on it. Because it's not Grand Theft Auto. You don't just go to the shop and the door closes and then like, oh, that's a new car. And then the cops are like, no way we can find him now. It's real life. I wish he was. I wish he was that easy.

She kicked his legs. She caused him to fall to the ground. She broke free and ran back to the mobile home park where she lives with her mom and two siblings. So this man, good Lord, that dude, he needs to be on some registrar for the rest of his life because it seems as if he is a serial predator. And you know, SVU, I don't know if 11 year olds

should be watching it. Hey, if it's protecting our children, then good. I don't know what does to the mind of the psyche of a child. I don't know. But then again, 11, I guess you're getting up there. It's time to learn about the disgusting realities of being a human being, I suppose. Yeah, because if you're at 11 in another country,

you could look for diamonds, you could fight in a war, you could be president. It's incredible what you could do in other countries. Well, we actually hold our 11 year olds back. I think a lot of the time, these 11 year olds could probably work a lot harder than we say them they can. Well, you saw, you ever hear about that fire

that took place in near Union Square in New York? Which one? Where I think it was like 300 people died. What? It was like the whole building burned down. And then there was because of that, they got like fire sprinklers in there and stuff. Oh, wow.

They got like regulations. I think it was called the, was it the iron building fires or something? But it's anyway, a lot of people died and there were a lot of kids in there. So is that what you want? No, I'm just saying. Do you want our children to be working?

No, I want them to be working in a safe environment, deep underground. So, so far you wanted forced abortions and children to be working underground mining diamonds. I don't want them to. I just think that they should be able to express themselves at work. Cause that's what this is about.

We're holding them back. You know, I don't know, I'm not having kids. This is another story of a person that can no longer have kids. A body of missing man found in a Spanish dinosaur statue. What? I don't know what happened here.

No, I mean, honestly, what the hell happened here? Authorities were alerted on Saturday after a father and his son noticed a smell emanating from the paper mache figure in Santa Coloma de Graminet, a suburb of Barcelona. A father then saw the corpse through the crack in the stegosaurus's hollow leg. Police said the man had been reported

missing by his family, which is sad. No foul play is suspected. What do they think they did? Do you think the stegosaurus fucking ate him? Like this is night at the museum? Oh, that would be kind of fun if that happened after midnight. Local remedia, they don't know what's happening.

I guess, see, why you mean, I just don't understand, what do you mean foul play is not suspected? How did he get inside of the paper mache stegosaurus? It sounds like I wouldn't be surprised if this was just a simple situation of a little bit too much booze, a little need to sleep like your Ben Kissel

two Wednesdays ago in Nashville. Okay, okay, this is the saddest, this is sad. Local media reports that the man was trying to retrieve a mobile phone he dropped inside of the statue. Oh, God. Okay. He felt inside of the decorative figure

and it was trapped upside down, unable to call for help. Wow. My idea was so much more pleasant and I didn't think it was. That's really sad. So he dropped his cell phone. Let it go, guys. But it's hard.

Let your cell phone fucking go. Fuck your cell phone. It's hard because he needs a cell phone. Fuck the cell phone, man. The cell phone is the thing that is trained. This is the thing that is training us and tracking us and it is melting our brains. Let it go.

You dropped your cell phone and you couldn't retrieve it and you were in a foreign country. You would put on scuba diver gear and you would go into the outhouse and you'd be like, I'm going, I gotta get it. You know you would. He didn't think he was gonna die. Well, the thing is that I'm also very scared

of physical insertion. But I've leashes for phones. Oh, that's exactly what we need. Like the wallet chain needs to come back. Oh, that's great. Nooses for phones. That's what we'll call it. Your phone.

That's great. I think we're gonna go with leashes. But yes, the thing is that also physically I won't risk that much. I would never climb into a tube. I don't think he expected to get stuck in there. No. Didn't anybody walk by?

No, I just feel like it could have been siesta. Oh gosh. Because siesta everybody's hanging out. You know what I mean? They know they stay at home. Or like that other guy, the thing that we covered last week, the Unico Sobreviviente, the lone survivor guy.

Maybe it's that reality where in his Barcelona, there was nobody there. Yeah, maybe. All right. Well, let's do Hero of the Week. Yeah, this is great. Hero of the Week. All right, everyone.

It's time for Hero of the Week. And this Hero of the Week, technically it should have been that young girl who loved SVU and fought off her attacker. It should have been, yeah. It's actually gonna be a woman who was fired from her job for being a lawyer, but this could be completely wrong on my part.

It might be. But she was fired because she was at a zoo in El Paso, the El Paso Zoo. Yep. She was given hot Cheetos to the spider monkeys. And then people saw her given the hot Cheetos to the spider monkeys. This article really emphasizes that they're hot,

but spider monkeys, like my dogs, they will eat their own shit. They are fine. But then people were like, I can't believe you fed the spider monkeys hot Cheetos, which are fantastic. I actually wonder if, honestly, I mean, obviously we're gonna get a lot of people

immediately very upset even talking about this, but I feel that monkeys can handle hot Cheetos. I think that they can eat it. I feel like that they would do it. I think, is it the best thing for them to eat? No. It's not the best thing for humans to eat. No.

It's not good for us. That's what we should be upset about them. If humans are eating things and then we feed those things to monkeys and then people are like, that's ridiculous to feed a monkey that. And like, what are we doing? We also don't know the story beforehand.

Maybe just so happens, she's eating hot Cheetos in front of the spider monkey cage. Of course. She sees a spider monkey go eek, eek, eek, eek. Points at the hot Cheeto points to his mouth. We don't know. Who knows.

And then you better feed the fricking thing the hot Cheeto because as we've learned for multiple years ago, monkeys will rip your fricking face off. They rip your face off or they commit suicide too. Do you remember how they did that with all the story with Jim Jones? That was bad. Oh.

But yeah, so you just gave them, you give them a super hot Cheeto, but it's more of, I guess, going into the cage. But if they're not all mauling you, technically you just made a bunch of friends. So she's just hanging out in this cage. She fed some hot Cheetos. People were super mad and she was terminated.

Maybe we're the wrong ones. Maybe we're on the wrong side of history here. She was terminated. Here's the video. She just looks lovely. Well, she was really deep inside of the monkey enclosure. This is a problem. That is a problem.

I could see why she'd get disbarred for being that. She's in a swimsuit inside of the monkey swimming pool which is filled with monkey shit and monkey piss. She's gonna get a staff infection. No, that's, well, that's possible. She's not gonna get any infection now with staff because she's been fired. But she is just in there, having a nice time.

She's very cute. She is cute. I think that's the biggest problem here is that we're getting our signals crossed because it is a cute woman. Look at the video. What I am saying is, she did not deserve to be terminated.

From her love it law firm, they say we support the El Paso Zoo and our thoughts are, and they, this is what they said. They said, our thoughts go out to the spider monkeys. To the spider monkeys, were they coughing and spitting and throwing up blood or were they having a good time licking all the cheeto dust off of themselves?

They say they don't. They didn't be different. I wanna find out whether or not the spider monkeys get sick. The spider monkeys are fine. The, the, the, uh, macawks. Do you know that macawks? Yeah.

They have the actual, they have the throat structure to speak, but they don't have the brains to do it. Isn't that interesting? So this is the, this is the statement continued. They say, are I, our thoughts go out to the spider monkeys

and hope that they will recover from this very traumatic experience. Why? But I watched the experience. Yeah, let me see these monkeys. They're fine, bro. She's just walking in there, giving them hot cheetos.

They're loving it. They're actually grooving up. They, I don't think they're trying. So I don't think that she needs to be fired. Is it bad if their tails are all stiff like that? I don't freaking know. I think it's fine. I think they might be just sexually interested.

Maybe, but either way, would you apologize for that? For making their tails all hard? Give them a thrill. It's like when Casey Anthony walks into the O'Shays, these guys are showing the same behavior as half the bro dudes in West Palm Beach. I agree.

And you could probably, you, if you could probably get laid by Casey Anthony, if you give her a bunch of hot cheetos. Honestly, that's probably, she probably has a high cheetos themed wedding, if you let her. Love language. Yes.

So this woman is here of the week. I'm not even gonna name her name. I don't even think the article does. They don't. But I just don't think she deserves to be fired. And yes, don't break into enclosures. It's probably bad to break into enclosures, but also when it comes down to it, you know,

I don't know. I guess this person's already done it already. So don't steal this person's swerve. No. Because this is this person's goal. They wanted to feed a bunch of spider monkeys, hot cheetos and she did it. And I feel like, you know what?

They're jealous. That's what this is. They're jealous that this woman got to live her fantasy and they couldn't do it because everybody kept saying, don't feed the spider monkeys, hot cheetos. It's poison to them. It kills them. I don't know.

According to Fitfame El Paso, they say this is unfortunately real. A local woman crossed into the spider monkey enclosure at the El Paso. So they fed them hot cheetos. We should follow up and find out whether or not the spider monkeys died because of it. Hold on, I'll Google it.

It was like, there was a video I wanted to show on the stream this week that had a, it was a bunch of chickens with little baby arms glued to them, but I didn't want anybody to get mad. So I decided not to show it because it's all like, cause I didn't know if it's abuse or not to glue a bunch of baby arms to chickens, which it is probably it's like the hats on the pigeons.

I'm sure. Again, do you remember when we called them the heroes of the week? Whoever glued the hats on the pigeons and then it turned out it was fucking killing them. I remember that. Yes, it was very sad. So this might be in that.

I don't know. It looks like there is no evidence, but according to my deep dive Google search, then Hot Cheetos are particularly bad. So I say, let this woman, she already did it once. We can't let her do it again. Also, if you want, she's already done it. If you want to hold a macaque,

go to the Aqua Dolce Animal Tracks Inc. Here in California. And then that's where you can hold a macaque. That's where you can hold a macaque. We are 10. We are 10 years old. Great job, yeah. You're here listening, so it's too late for you.

Here is some listener emails. We got a lot of good response to the superhero, the real life superhero segment that we talked about last week. We have an update on that, don't we? Shadow Vision, we're trying to get him involved. Apparently one of the guys, some of them might be a little bit on the conservative side.

So we don't know. I don't know whether or not the superheroes are gonna do whatever. Of course, can you imagine, what superhero do you think would actually be liberal? I don't know. Maybe the Flash. And all he does is run.

He just runs. That's it. Because Batman, you didn't want to hear what Batman has to say. No, no, Batman is a fascist technique. But you know, great costume. Of course. As always with the fascists, for some reason.

Superhero encounter in Little Rock. So I live in a suburb of Little Rock, but being a liquor delivery driver, congrats. Nice work. Big ups. Thank you. I'm all over the seadier parts of the Emerald City of the South.

What are you talking about? Everybody eats liquor delivered. What is it? The Emerald City of the South? That's what they call it. That's what Little Rock is? I guess so. I can't wait to go.

While rolling in some cheap booze to a dive bar in Dogtown, Argenta district of NLR was going on browse. I witnessed the creepy masked man in the median of the road up the street. After delivering, curiosity got the better of me. And I approached this odd fellow. He was very chatty for a vigilante.

Turns out he's an Australian who heard all about all of the crime in Little Rock and thought he'd bring his crime fighting skills to the States. Apparently he's dispatched several serial killers already. So I think he confessed to murder. Not sure why he chose Little Rock, but from his demeanor, he stuck in the 90s.

So I think banging in the rock finally made it to our Aussie friends. His outfit must not be very breathable because he's smelt bad. Rotten milk bad. Not sure if he's homeless, but would not be surprised. That's a genius enough guy though. Very nice, genius enough.

And of course, you're a superhero. You're out there on the beat. It's a stinky job. It's a stinky job. Somebody's got to do it. He said he constantly performed martial arts moves during our conversation. If I see him wandering around again,

I'll try to gauge his interest in appearing on side stories. Yes, please do. That's great. We can't wait, can't wait to talk to these guys. I was, I got hit to a podcast that I will listen to that it's all about the downfall of Phoenix Jones. The original real life superhero got caught

selling Molly to an undercover cop a couple of years ago. But what are you gonna do honestly when it comes down to it? Sometimes it takes a different type of hero. And the question is, should Molly be illegal at all? I don't think it should. Indeed. What was the crime?

Trying to sell happiness? Come on, Brad. Be very safe with Molly, please. Seriously, honestly, and it's not good. Get one of those fentanyl testers and Atlanta's doing a big roll out of Narcan. Teaching people how to use it too. And I think it's very important.

Legalize it. Legalize it. Here we go. Sometimes this is from a, someone from a big chain shoe store. Sometimes customers would come in and buy a new pair of shoes. So it's from a shoe's modells. Yes, yes.

Maybe you wanna pay less. Sometimes customers would come in and buy a new pair of shoes and ask if we could get rid of the shoes they came in with. In my first two weeks of training, I learned that we had a big box in the back of the store that we would toss people's old shoes into to be donated to a church and given to people who could still use them.

I think that's awesome. Yeah, of course. During one of my first shifts alone, a young guy came in and said he was here for the church shoes. He seemed very nervous and a little sketchy and could barely look me in the eye. I figured whatever. Maybe he's a sheltered boy from a very religious family.

It isn't good at socializing. I didn't think much of it and gave him a box which he rushed out with as if he had gotten away with something. A week or so later, an older man came in much more confidently asked if we had any of the church shoes. I told him, no, not since last week.

When the other guy came and picked them up, he says, what other guy? Whoa! I described the kid of both the older man and both the older man and my boss are confused and they said they had never seen him before but we all brushed it off since we couldn't think of any reason

why someone who wasn't affiliated with the church would want a big box of other people's used shoes. And then I guess it just dawned on me while listening to this week's episode that there's a very good chance I gave a dozen new pairs of shoes to a shoe comer. Yeah, I think so. Well, you know at least somebody's gonna get

some good use out of them. Yeah, you know, it's like the otherwise they're just sitting there. Yeah. I work, so there's another one. I work as a barber and as such, I get to hear all kinds of cool stories. One of my favorite clients is an ER doctor

who always brings me gruesome stories from his late night shifts. He told me a story about a gentleman who was arrested and brought to the hospital because he was running around our local college campus with his dick in his hand. And I don't mean he was jerking off. I mean that he had decided it was a good idea

to chop off his own goddamn dick and show it to people. Well, after he was brought to the hospital, the doctors realized they could reattach his hog. So after doing so, they put him on medically induced, put him on a medically induced coma and restrained him. I love this weird version of a million dollar man. It's true. With any luck, we can rebuild it.

We can rebuild it. After a few days, he awoke. Absolutely furious. And he rolled and rolled until his dick was in restrained hand grabbing range and proceeded to rip that bitch off a second time. All right, the dude just doesn't want his dick. Don't put it back on.

I just let him not have it anymore. He doesn't want it anymore. Even though the poor surgeons did a six second, successful dick reattachment surgery, the damage was done. The artery was still working, but the veins were not. Essentially that means blood will enter his man's sausage, but not leave it. To remedy the situation, they would

have to place a medical leech on the tip of his dick to drain the blood. Every few hours, some unfortunate nurse would have to come by, pull the leech off, put it in a bucket of alcohol to kill it, replace it with a new leech from a tank. Actual leech? An actual medical leech.

If they did not reach the engorged leech in time, it would jump ship and run like hell. And then some member would have to follow a trail of dick blood down a hallway to find the wayward leech. What is this, 2021? I don't know. 1021. We're still putting leeches on dicks?

I guess that's still the only option. I know. I guess he just didn't know. Yes, every hospital has a steady supply of medical leeches. Wow. Well, thank you to the leech, because the leech has saved many a life, even though they're a little gnarly. Speaking of medical leeches, Dr. Oz is still out there.

Come on, guys. Yes, he is. Don't have breakfast. Don't have breakfast. What a story, huh? What a tale. Wow. That is just, if you keep, the guy doesn't eat his dick.

He doesn't eat his dick. And you've got to love your life if you have a dick and you want one. And if you don't have one and you want one, go get one. Go get one. And if you have one and you don't want one, get rid of it. Get rid of it. We don't give a shit, because you know what that

allow you to do? Gives you a bunch of fun stories that you could tell the baroshes. Go down a laugh atoshes. You go down there with all of everybody's favorite client tell some woman named Slacy Banthony. Whoa. Just having, living her best life.

No kids here. No kids zone. You can just see someone looking at Casey, but how do I know you? What is it about that I know you? Oh, I loved you on, were you on Bridgerton? What? No, no, no.

She's not on Bridgerton. She never will be. Until they finally put her on The Masked Singer, she will be on that show. Exactly. Eventually. And that's it. That's the Triple L.

We can remember, buy our fucking weed. We're on fucking Toregan. Red Rocks, our biggest show we've ever done. Yay. We are about to see you in Colorado. And then we're going to have our show. When do we tell everybody else when our next shows are? I don't know.

When do we get to say when our shows are? We have them. And they will be happening. We are vaxxed, waxed, and ready to relax with all of you. I actually got my second fax yesterday. Yeah, bro. You clean. And I know everyone's experience

is a little bit different, but if, I don't know, mine was very, I'm not, I didn't feel anything. And I don't know what that means. Bill Bird did a good take the other day. We're basically, he said, so the vaxx are going to be used to kill the people that are most adherent to what the government tells them to do. That's what we're going to do.

We're going to leave nothing but all the cool guys that question everything. That doesn't help. It's not how it works. That's how America was born. There are still people fucking it on iron lungs from polio. And they're like, I wish I could have a vaccine. You know what I mean?

What do you even do? I love a good iron lung. All right, everyone, thank you all so much for listening. Hail yourselves. I'd prefer a gold lung. Hail Satan. If they make them. If they did, honestly, it's a flexible metal.

Yeah. Magus Dalatians, everyone. Hail me. Old gold lung. Old gold lung, Zabrowski. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them.

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