Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Mystery At Devil's Gulch

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a family mysteriously dies on a hiking trail, alien-human hybrids, love rivals shoot each other dead, a discarded sex doll in France, and MUCH MORE.Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Man, I'm Pittsburgh. I'm feeling it. Yes, sir. Went to Kennywood. Kennywood is one of Natalie and I's favorite places in the world. What is it? It's an indie amusement park in Pittsburgh. Is it based off of Kenny Rogers like Dollywood? It should be. I wish it was. Honestly, Kenny Rogers would feel at home there before the surgery because the one thing about Kennywood is that it's Pittsburgh concentrated. The only way to really describe it is that it's Pittsburgh allowing itself to be itself. You know, any bottoms of bellies I saw out of shirts? Like just the idea of

like I just I love to see it because Pittsburgh's getting fancy now because you got like hips or neighborhoods. People are starting to dress like like fancy. I saw a woman's areolas yesterday, which is a lot for Pittsburgh because that is amazing. You got to cover yourself up from the third shifters. Sure. You know what I mean? You can't get them all around the hardworking night shift workers that provide you with all of your Amazon goods. They're not going to attack you, but they're definitely go like. Well, don't forget Henry for them. Nine o'clock in the morning is midnight. It's midnight. That's why you always got to go to the over the night bars that open at noon and close open at midnight and close at noon because it's a different world. And they

got the trough so you could piss in it. Like why you're just sitting on the stool. But yeah, man, Kennywood is just amazing. It's just like it's like throat cancer running around. Oh, it's got nice. It's got some of the best roller coasters on the face of the planet. And I love that place and we go whenever we can. Well, there you go. It sounds like a great time for an adult relationship. Go on over to Kennywood who doesn't love it. Welcome to side stories, everyone. I am Ben hanging out with Henry. He's in Pittsburgh, as you can tell. Yeah, the Rust Belt. But Henry, you talked about plastic surgery and that kind of leads to a story that I read this week and I sent it to you today. And I think it's quite interesting. It's alien adjacent. But I want to

hear your thoughts on plastic surgeons alienizing the faces of people. Have you heard about this new cosmetic trend? Maybe they look like a gray and they're doing it. What do you think it's blowing my mind? I can't tell. What's what does it all mean? Extreme body modification is getting more and more prevalent. People are really into it. And what have also we've talked about? How many times have we said that one of the goals of the hybrid program of the grays specifically is to slowly seed themselves with their seed, our seed in there, whatever they're it comes out of their fucking cloaca because they don't have holes. Oh, so they just they possibly bake them in some kind of tube and that they're releasing these hybrid people that look like honestly, they look like

Zendaya if she was great, right? And now that Zendaya has become the new beauty standard, right? That's just because Zendaya is in Dune and now you have to say that. She's beautiful. She's beautiful. I'm sure. But the hybrid look like the idea of like it's very high cheekbones. They look like kind of the vaguely like aliens. They want them to start fucking normies people with Pittsburgh bodies, right? They want to start fucking the Pittsburgh bodies to start to be weeding us out. You know what I mean? That's the whole deal. They weed out the normal human DNA. Apparently cosmetic doctor Stephen Harris, he runs Harris Clinic in Crouch End. It's in North London. Crouch End to get all my medical services. Only fucking in London does the hippest part

of town smell like balls. Well, apparently people say they go into his office and they say make me look like an alien. And then he quote, alienizes them. He fills up their cheeks with all the weird stuff and then they come out looking like graze. And I, I don't know if I am here for it or not. Do whatever you want with your body. That's what I say. But isn't it a little bit of is this not cultural appropriation of the alien race? Well, we haven't officially met them, have we? So maybe this is a good opportunity for them to come forward and reveal themselves to say, hey, don't you can't be trans species yet. But also, I think it's interesting. I am actually completely for it because the the world of trans met the comic book series is becoming more and

more real. And I think it's a very interesting view of the future. I think people can get surgery look like animals to look like fictional creatures. I think it's okay for people to look like animals, to look like short mythical creatures. I think it's really interesting. I think it's opening our minds into allowing the fictional to become non fictional, just simply cosmetically, because then slowly but surely, you know, you kind of trick yourself if you have enough animals, you have enough animals, you can really trick yourself into thinking that the fairy tales are becoming real. And that to me, that allows for more potential of human success, the more we can allow imagination into our day to day lives, because right now we're just working ourselves to death.

I don't know if this is going to work out. The woman that is getting this alien operation, she does not have a job. I will tell you that because no one knows how how do you pay for it. I think it's her brother that's actually doing it. Isn't that interesting? This is what the doctor said. He says the term alienization refers to the distortion of features outside the normal range for the individual so that it appears alien for that particular person. That's cool. He goes on. Some people present naturally with certain features in the simulation, but the problem is creating these in those who do not and making everyone look the same. Very interesting, very scary. The alien, the alien fandom is growing like we've never seen before. I just feel like

if the aliens come down and all of a sudden there's a bunch of people with plastic surgery that tries to look like the alien. Oh, I think you'd be the first to go. I think they definitely be the first to go. Only just because they're going to be mad. I think when they come there, oh, who knows? Or maybe it's going to be like how shocked was I to find out that we had fans in Berlin. Isn't that nice? But what if you, let's say they send you to Mars. Let's say you accidentally go to the bathroom. You don't realize it's on Elon Musk's SpaceX probe. You're just like, I'm going to shit. Oh my God. I'm late for the show. And now you get to Mars and you step off and it's a bunch of aliens who have glued hair all over their bodies and have balled it and

gained a little bit of weight. And they say, hello, we are, we are Polish. Nice to meet you. It would be a nightmare. I, you know what? No, man. You would like that. So at home, I'd give all those fuckers a bunch of high fives. We'd share a plate of pierogies. We'd hang out for what I'd be like, do you want to get super Polish? I'd be like, watch them be like, try to stomach some Stoli because when it comes down to it, I don't know if the aliens are prepared for 150 like proof alcohol. I don't think that they are. I think that they have to, they might need to build up, but that's how they become truly Polish. If they're willing to get off of work and then drink pure bottom shelf vodka until you fall asleep on the stoop of an apartment building.

Well, Henry, you are king of the segue today because that reminds me of this other story. The stories this week are not particularly like macabre nature. Well, we do have one. We do have one story. Yes, we do. But this is not so mysterious. This is simply people trying to have a good time without sucking the teat of Anheuser-Busch or big booze. You should talk. You should talk. You love BLs, man. BLs is how you live. You live a, if there was one person that I knew that lived a BL lifestyle besides posty, it's you. Bro, me and posty would hang out. We'd have so much fun. I would love to be a posty. I'm just so old and not as cool as him. And I understand he can't be seen with me, but I would love him. We could tell him stories.

We could tell him stories about AOL chat rooms. We could tell him about all the cool things that we did. How many times you did Whippets? Oh, man. This woman in Massachusetts, apparently she made some homemade drinks. No, this is not in Massachusetts, bro. This is in Kiwanis, Lithuania. That's why this story is interesting. That's why it's in rural news. I am sorry. It's this mass alcohol poisoning. I assume it meant Massachusetts. I see. We were in Lithuania. Never mind. That's what happened here. So I don't think Anheuser-Busch, I don't think Anheuser-Busch is in Lithuania. I mean, I think it is now. I think technically it's a German company now. I think they purchased it. But 16 people died from drinking homemade,

I guess it's like Krakishtil. I don't know what booze that they were drinking in Lithuania. Like what was the fake version of vodka that they had? But it all came from one woman. This made this batch of some form of hooch, some Lithuanian hooch. She's been arrested. She's 63 years old. This is my understanding and I've only read in one article. So perhaps there's something more mysterious or nefarious in nature. But it seems to me like she just want to be like, come on in, guys. I have some booze for the boys. Come on. And I think she just made a massive miscalculation. Well, our driver in Grundy, who was one of the like, he was such a cool guy. But the way he

talked about the like jurisdictional, like the territories of moonshine. Yes. And who makes the good moonshine? Who has the reputable moonshine? Who's got the hack moonshine? And it is very, it boils down to like, it creates your reputation in your community, how good your moonshine is and how important it is. So I actually wonder if it's more like that, where it's like this woman just made her skarsh for years. But this last batch, whatever it was, it killed 16 people. Apparently she feels terrible. Apparently they arrested her and she didn't really understand that this shit was just dropping people. No, she didn't. According to the Qantas regional prosecutor, they say since the beginning of this month, a total of 16 men and women of

various ages have died at the Qantas hospitals, possibly some from the same alcohol surrogate, most of them residents of the same district. They say another two people are currently being treated by doctors. It is not ruled out that the number of people intoxicated with alcohol may increase further. During the search of the woman's home, authorities found containers with liquids of an unknown origin. Yeah, man. You're just drinking that shit. Yeah. I think she may have just put together a bunch of different lighter fluids and some different kind of oils or whatever she used. And it doesn't seem like it got people. Well, it probably did get them pretty messed up. But it was the last time they ever got messed up. But I actually email a side stories

LPOTL at gmail.com if you've made your own booze and how exactly you went about it to make sure that it's safe because it's apparently it's pretty easy to make poison versus booze. I would think well, isn't I mean, it is poison, right? So I mean, it's a slight poison, but it goes, I guess it goes from ethanol, which is alcohol, right to whatever the fuck it is. It's like the slide to ethylene glycol, which is antifreeze and methanol, which is what this fucking pate thinner like is just like one fart too long. Like I don't know what you have to add to it. Like one less juniper berry, you go out there, it's in the sun too long or a bird lands in it and it drowns. I don't know what happens. Yes, side stories LPOTL.com. If you are in the booze game, let us know. Like

what does it take to make sure you don't kill your entire customer base? The victims in this case were aged 30 to 60. I'm surprised there was no teens in there. I thought they might start a little bit younger, but maybe maybe they lived. Yeah, maybe they just when you're a teen, you're still like shoplifting and stuff. You don't have to go to old grandma's house to get the strange booze. What does but have you ever? Well, it's the last time you've seen the master. Oh my goodness, I only saw one when it came out. I just recently rewatched it and that whole scene when Joaquin Phoenix makes his own booze where he basically just puts like its actual fuel, like he puts gasoline in a canister and he's drinking it. And I know that guys do it because then he in the

movie he gets guys really, really fucking sick on it, right? Like the one dude dies and he has to leave because the guy died from being poisoned because you can't drink too much of it because he's he's drinking actual fucking gasoline. Right, dude. Absolutely reminds me of that fantastic film Love Liza where he falls in love with R.C. Racing and Huffing. Yes, that's right. That movie is fucked up. It's also really depressing like Radio Flyer, the other highly depressing movie about a fucking cart. Yeah, why are R.C. Racing movies devastatingly sad for no reason? I don't know. I feel like even the R.C. car in Toy Story was kind of a bummer. Yeah, can they just be? Also in cars, why do they make them with four doors? Why do they have seats inside of them?

If no one's sitting inside of them to drive around? And why like who makes them? It's a fantastic idea, Henry. I really don't know. I think maybe if they want to lift or Uber, if they want to work, they have to have seats. But there are no humans in that world unless that's how they fuck. But I feel like that's what you have the tailpipes for. I feel like this is a question that's been asked before by some philosopher. Someone's asked about the pointless life of the car's creatures and how they came about what existential like game of telephone and DNA and car parts created that universe. So if you could resurrect Stephen Hawking, maybe you would ask him this question and it's unfortunate he died before you came

to contemplate this unbelievably vital question about this cartoon. Unfortunately, the only question I'd have to ask him is does it work? It does. Referring to his penis. Yes, he does. I know. I think so. I did. I think that that was more about the pursuit and the bagging of her. You know what I mean? It's just being like, uh, but I am still a man with a lot of blood. I mean, he is a very wealthy person, so he probably likes to get cucked out or where it goes. There's a whole series of different kind of horns. Well, now he's getting cucked out and fucking wherever the hell he is. God knows what crimes he's capable of. I don't think he took any Epstein money. No, I don't. Well, who knows? They're wealthy or they're wealthy and it is what

it is. Money is always dirty, especially when it comes down to the scientists. I mean, you're coming down to the sciences and you're desperate for it because sometimes you'll say yes to whoever shows up. This story is like the main story of the week. Even though there is not a heck of a lot going on in this story, it's just one of the more mysterious stories to come out so far this year. This is the mystery. This is about the mystery surrounding an entire family that was found dead on a Sierra trail. This is crazy. This is really, really interesting. This is in Mariposa, outside of San Francisco. This is a very wild story. Don't know what the hell is going on here. Basically a family, a very lovely looking family, Ellen Chung, Jonathan Garrish,

and their one-year-old daughter, Meju, and their dog were all found dead on a hiking trail in Mariposa. The cause of death is not remotely determined. As a matter of fact, when they showed up, they all showed up and when they were found, they showed up and the first thing that drew people's attention was that the hazmat crew arrived to see what the hell happened to them. There was also the family dog named Oskie. Apparently when they arrived, they found John and Oskie and John was just sitting in a chair and he was dead and then Oskie was next to him and then the woman was nearby with the baby, but then their car had gone missing as well, right? It's very strange. They found the car eventually. They found the car. The car was parked outside of

essentially this was a fairly remote but popular trail. People went to this place fairly often, but it was out in the boonies, right? It's because of heights or a hites, cove road, I'm not sure how that's pronounced, and they went out there. Eventually they knew that this family was gone. They were only supposed to be gone for a day. They did the sensible thing, which all people should do, which is if you are going to go in nature, especially if you're not a person that knows nature. I mean, technically everybody should, but especially like if Kissel and I went hiking, we would need to tell people where the fuck we were at all times. If we went hiking, we would hold on to a little string at all times so we could be like,

oh, let's not get lost so we can get together. We would train ourselves like we're middle school kids in Queens. But you went, they found these bodies. They were missing for the day. It was a day hike. And so the family went missing. The next day they called in a ranger went out and he said, like, well, I knew that they live kind of like far out. They lived in the wood, this woodsy area. He's like, so I'm just going to go out and see what's close. He was like, okay, I'm going to at least check that hiking trail. They go there and he found these bodies. And because that was my first thing was like, how were they found? Which was, yes, no outside wounds. Because one thing they said, no foul player, no bullet shots, no bottles of, no bottle of medicine, no suicide

note. And also they're not a single mark on their body because the next thing was like, did they all get bit by a rattlesnake? But like the baby was in a carrying like thing, like the chest carrying thing, and was also dad next to the father with no signs of anything. Yes, the baby, I apologize, was next to the dad with the dog beside him. It was very strange. Totally insane. So the toxicology reports, they don't know what, but also interestingly enough, you know what the area was named? What? The Devil's Gulch. Yes. So it's got like a scary name to it as well. Is this, okay, so true question, Henry, we talked about, what's it called, 411? A 411 missing, that story like the idea of

people going missing in the national parks. Yes. So we have that angle to it. And then we also have just like how scary missing people in the national parks is. And then sometimes they find like that person's been in the woods for 20 years and he's been killing people. What the hell happened? Well, there's no national registry for missing people, especially in their natural park system. They just haven't done it. They don't put, they had, they will not collect the data. Like it's kind of a little bit similar to the way the different bureaus of criminal justice shit like work out how the FBI doesn't talk to the local place, like that kind of shit and how that all breaks down, how like various parks don't talk to each other and put their records

together. Yeah. But it's also in the style of the devil of pass. Yes. We're like, now they're trying to go to the, we're, we're, we're entering into M night Shyamalan territory where they're going to turn old. They're old. But they're saying that it might be some form of algae, but just like it's, this is weird. That is scary. They have to, they're still testing the water that they were drinking. There's this thing called the siano bacteria, which is this blue green algae that can grow in these blooms and their freshwater blooms that they grow in. And they literally, if you see water that has like, it looks pretty, right? Like it's got, it's very, uh, vividly blue. It's very pretty. It looks very idyllic. It looks like a fucking painting, but it's poison. If you

drink that water, it can poison you. But they say they don't know if there's enough poison in those tainted waters to kill a human being. They can kill dogs, right? And it can kill animals. But mostly for human beings, it makes you just very, very sick. They don't know what caused these people. Cause the one, the one weird thing that they said about the way that they found their bodies was that it was obviously at the end of the hike. They had already went to the edge of the trail and came back. So they were already wrapping up for the day when it seems like if you want to kind of roll through what happened, dad wasn't feeling good. He sat down for a second, dropped. The mother walked a couple of steps in front and they found her to face down in the trail,

like just dropped. So like there's no, they haven't found puddles of vomit yet. They haven't found puddles of leaky diarrhea yet. And you know, they're looking for it. They may have not included that in the report. I don't know. I feel like that's what you gotta look for. Obviously, I'm sure some of you are thinking temperatures, it's hot out there. It was 109 degrees, but they ruled out dehydration because it seemed as if they had plenty of water. So it doesn't look like that's the problem. So as Henry said, you got the toxic algae or apparently carbon monoxide poisoning from a mine. They also said it was close to a mine and they could have got the carbon monoxide. Apparently you get fumes from a mine. I didn't know you get fumes from a mine, but then then they

said like they would have to have been inside of the mine. Like you'd have to have gone and said that you can't just like like out and then get you'd have to you'd have to go inside of the mine. But I also don't know their work. We're going to find out what the fuck happened. But I think the scariest part is that a bunch of people went looking for hikers and they found another medrible because then when they went out there, they found all of these people and like hazmat suits. So it obviously created a sense of mystery of like what the fuck is going on? Yeah, that's it. Now the hazmat declaration has been lifted. So now you can walk around there and not have to look like you're in the movie The Crazies. I would never go down there. The reason why it was called it's also

called the Mariposa Bermuda Triangle. So it seems very dangerous this area. It is really interesting. There was the Ferguson fire happened there about three years ago. The bunch of firemen died trying to fight it. And then there was also a serial killer. Kerry Stainer was also there. He murdered three people in the same exact area, which is I mean, I feel like that's kind of coincidental. I think it's because it's just out there. Yeah, sure. But it's sometimes it's technically a good place to have a home as a serial killer. It's the best place to have a home as a serial killer. If you love the outdoors, the only character that I kind of liked in that one movie about zombies was Tom Waits. Yeah, the dead. The dead don't die. That was the worst zombie

movie I've ever seen. But the cast was fun. But I did like it. Oh, I do too, for the most part. It was just some things they tried and I don't we they tried and I give them credit for that. But the the the not homeless, they're in the woods. They're woods people. I don't see them as homeless. I see them as woods people. And yeah, they they know a lot of the tricks of the train and they're very scary in many ways. Well, this this family was like an outdoor family. It's the same thing. Same thing with all the missing 401 one shit, as it does happen a lot to experienced hikers. I mean, it doesn't even matter. Kids to go do go missing. But it seems to be yes, it's across the spectrum. But it is weird like that concept. The missing 401 one stuff is just

very creepy. Like the idea of like, everybody's on a trail, you turn around for a second, the one person thing just gone. And then they find a months later, like in the same area where you searched a thousand times. This time, their underwear is on backwards and they got fucking postage stamps on their head like they were mailed there. That's not true. But it's like stuff like that where the body's like been messed with. And they don't know what the fuck happened to them. Yeah, well, it seems like the aliens maybe took took them apart and tried to put them back together. But you know, they put the legs where the arms are supposed to be and the eyeballs in his mouth, they got it all wrong. The thing is, it is eerily similar to the cattle, the cattle mutilation

stories, especially of New Mexico, where these cattle get scooped, right? They get their eyeballs cut out, they got the assholes laser cut out, they got all the insides all kind of like, you know, that's what they do. But then these aliens are collecting from Earth be like, hey, Gloria, I got all the eyes and the assholes that you wanted. Are they trying to make hot dogs up there? It might be if they're like, this is the ultimate nitrate. What if they only eat nitrates and they're like, they have the super food down there on Earth. Get the cows, lips and assholes, please. Maybe it's what they're trying to do is slowly poison us. Because what are that article I sent Jackie this weekend that said every hot dog you eat takes 36 minutes off your life.

That is not how it works. It's not how aging works. We don't have a finite number of minutes. No, it makes no sense. It's so stupid. But the way that the bodies are dropped and missing four on one is also interesting because when the cows are oftentimes found is that they're sometimes found with their legs broken as if they have been dropped from a height. So it's this idea of because then we're in this world of our people being scooped up by aliens and being experimented with and then dropped. Or is there another fun kind of weird kind of deep, deep, deep covert operation where they are faking these things to create the conversation about aliens around places where we have a lot of our most secret tech so that you don't you think it's aliens

instead of thinking it's the US government doing shady shit when that's what you're seeing lights in the sky. Well, either way, be careful when camping. Avoid caves evidently. They are their farts can kill you. Don't go camp. Obviously our hearts go out to the family. What a strange mystery and well, I'm sure they say the toxicology report takes a couple of weeks, but we will let you know if they find like a whole bunch of something that would kill you. But I would advise never camp. That's camping is very good. Mr. is camping is dangerous. The cities are more reliable. You can camp in the park in the city during the day. You go to the central park, you can put out a sleeping bag. So much more dangerous. It's full of people jerking off and piss. And nature, they're

lying about you and not being there because there are still people jerking off other. Speaking of jerking off this next story, somebody out there, he's only jerking off because his sex doll went missing. I mean, you say went missing. I think that he got rid of it in a way like it seems to be he was ashamed of it. No, a sex doll. It was mistaken for a body in a canal. Police invite the owner to come and collect it. This police and firefighters raised to the scene after they found a bunch of reports being like there's a body in the river. This is in central France. And it turns out it was not a body. It was a sex doll that was taped up in a black bin bag, floating next to a heap of branches and reeds. The couple called the police on Tuesday. They

hauled the body out and they were like, no, my friend, that is a fully functioning sex doll. I'm looking at a picture of it right now. Also in this article, they blurt out the sex doll's boobs. I mean, it's literally a statue. You could show it's tits. It's not a human. Yes. The name of the place is we are just we are so we are. I mean, I guess this is from Europe. I figure, but this is on the US news. We're not seeing the titties, but it comes down to it, man. We're so anti-sex. It is unfucking believable. Unbelievable. I got a good rant on top at this past week about only fans. So sad. Made off of the back of sex workers until they throw them away. Yeah. Now they're just cashing out. Well, whatever. This is for your show. Yeah. Cause it's just makes everyone mad.

Yes. And rightfully so. Well, apparently now they're allowing titties. They're going to allow titties on only fans. Oh my God. Thank you. The arbiters of morality. You can't do full vagina that we all came out of. Oh, if I ever see one of those. Oh, so this took place in gender, Marie, Del, Del, La, Lori. I think I almost said it right. Well, Jen. No, no, no, you know, Lori. No, it's almost right. Henry, tell me that's not almost right. You can't say any of these letters in here. That's how you know it's French. You can't say any of the ends, the D's, the R's, or the I or the E. Well, all I know is a bunch of people were freaked out and the cops had to go grab this sex doll and whoever threw out their sex doll, they have some explaining to do

to that sex doll because they wrapped it all up like it was a corpse. And perhaps it was, do you think true, true, true talk? Is this somebody ramping up for real murder? Because the way the body is wrapped up, this is how you would wrap up a body. It's definitely not just a sex doll randomly floating and the sex doll looks like used but clean. I've got two theories. One, that you might say is it ramping up to a killing or does this is this fulfilling the purpose of the sex doll and allowing a person to have the fantasy of discarding a body without killing someone, right? Like, are they allowed to express this with a sex doll without killing someone and they get to just do it? Or is also my second theory is, are they so embarrassed

about having trying to get rid of a sex doll that they would rather be caught with a human corpse than throwing it in the river? Yeah, could be. I'm looking at a close-up picture here. I'm doing some real Ben Kissell. This is honestly hardcore stuff he's doing. It looks like there's a knife wound on the thigh. It does look like there's a knife wound on the thigh. You stab this sex doll and throw it into the river and be like, I've done it again. Which I guess is an improvement from the days of all the other sex work murders. Not that this doll is a sex worker, it is a silicone doll. Do you remember how we talked about back in the day when these, the real dolls, like the super, super fancy ones started coming out and how the people kept returning them

all stabbed up. Like that they would get them back and they would be covered with fucking knife wounds and shit. I mean, I don't know. This is what we, I think we've had this talk before about like, would it be improper to give pedophiles, little robot children dolls that they can destroy? That is a 1980 sitcom that you're referencing that I can't think of the name, but literally that's the story. And I think that that, I think that robot was sentient. It is. Let's not have the rise of the machines be predicated on Righteous Ending Nation. Because if you, if we create sex robot dolls for children or for adults who like children, then the robots when they come for us are going to see nothing but rage. They're going to be like,

those people are all fucking our robot children. And then we'll deserve to die. Sometimes someone does not understand and cannot learn and grow until they see the true what they get for their actions. They have to see it. They maybe have to be destroyed by a bunch of robots for them to understand, maybe I shouldn't been fucking all those kids. I love Terminator eight rise of the Righteous Machines. It would be incredible. It's just like, let them kill us. They deserve to kill us. But I feel like that's, there's a lot of people have talked about the idea of creating fake child porn, right? Like CGI child porn to help us wage. But I feel like we've had this debate on this show before. And I know it is qualified people have had this debate before. And I don't

know whether it helps or hurts. That is one of those another great, unpleasant conversation you can listen to on top at. I interviewed a psychiatrist for not a sexual predator. There's over Thanksgiving. Always. All right. This next story. This is just this good old fashion. I love this story. Is this old fashion? This is scary as shit, dude. So basically long story short, a woman awakes her husband and says, Oh my God, baby, there's an intruder in the house. There's an intruder in the house, baby. This Alabama, by the way. So have that in your mind. And the guy says, Okay, baby, I'll go be a hero. Oh, come on. Shoot the intruder who shoots him to shoot each other. Only to find out that the intruder is not an intruder. As a matter of fact,

that was the, I want to say live in or live adjacent to sex buddy of the wife. So she was trying to kill two birds with one stone or at the very least kill her sex friend. So then her husband didn't find out or something like that. Either way, she planned this shit out well, kind of. The dude was living in the back house somehow secretly. His name was Michael, a macker, right? Who looks like a guy who lives in your back house and fucks your wife while you're at work. And you, he goes to, he stayed at the house. He somehow hid him like he was on frunk. We're feeding him little pieces while he like, I guess feeding him scraps during the day just been like way to keep your strength up. Cause later in the night, you're going to meet sandwiches

right in there. But later in the night, you could be eating my fucking sandwich and drinking my pussy, Michael. I guess so. She seemed like she had a lot of sex on the mind. She did. Evidently, she was also extremely high on methamphetamine. That's the update apparently. She was intoxicated at the time apparently. And I'm a macker also, then it's been charged for with attempted murder, possession of controlled substances, which means he definitely had meth on him. Yeah. And he had a gun that he had tried to scrape the serial number off of. According to mobile county sheriffs, Captain Paul Birch, he says, I've still got it. I've still yet to figure out how somebody can be staying in your house and you not know it.

He says it's almost confess. Honestly, I too have been fucking this woman. And so I must shoot myself in retribution. Birch says, another thing with the meth, people that are on it, people, this is what Bert, I love this sheriff in Alabama who knows so much about meth. Another thing with meth, people that are people that are on meth, not only do have paranoia, they can't keep their mouth shut. So if there was some kind of diabolical plan, it is very possible a macker has told some other people. It is really true, man. It's really, really true. This is like a John Waters movie. I don't know. Do you think a macker knew that he was now going to be an intruder in the home? Or did she just

set this entire thing up? It's like, come on in and eat my butt. And then as soon as he comes in, she's like, well, intruder, intruder. Or did he, this is so stupid. It's like ridiculous. I think this is the plot I'm giving this with no evidence. She's been fucking Michael macker on the side. He loses wherever the fuck flop house that he's sleeping, right? She started to understand like Michael a macker, he's doing enough meth to get it up, right? Maybe your husband, it's not really like all their sexually anymore. Maybe he's not involved. I'm not going to blame the man because it's not his fault. But also at the same time, who knows what he wasn't providing to the wife, right? Maybe everyone wants a while. She lets a macker up in the main house, right?

The main trailer. Are you coming to the main trailer tonight? Like that couch? Oh, you notice how you only have a stool on the back house on? Maybe if you do a little bit jurisprudence for me, a little bit of due diligence for your role here, your honey, your honey bear here, I'm going to call myself honey bear to you. You can go ahead and you can end up in the main house. And so he's just like, do you think anything? And so like, she sets him up in a sort of like that movie to die for where like they all think they're hot and sexy and like, like this is some kind of like, you know, gone girl intrigue, but if they just are both disgusting, and it's all destroyed. And I don't know why she thought, I think maybe she thought that he'll get a jump

on my husband and shoot him. I don't know why she didn't have him just shoot the husband. It seems like she wanted the husband to win. I think she was done with the macker. Wow. Maybe. Because that's why she set him up to die. He's the intruder. Well, anyway, a neighbor says that Frank, that's the husband, he says, she says he was very calm. He was very nice. He cuts his grass and does things around the house. She says there's never anything going on there until there is apparently apparently. This is what Tracy said when she told her husband about the intruder. She says he got up and armed himself, a shoot out and sued. He noticed the suspect was well armed. They began shooting at another and they shot

one another, which just it seems again like Calamity Jane. It's kind of a fun scene, but it's not written in a movie. It's in real life. So they just had a a methed out shoot out. Talk about the old West rising again. It really is, man. The same shit we're covering right now, except the back in the day, you know, in old West times, they just had old, old style whiskey. All this shit, not this, not methamphetamine, which also gives you energy. At least at some point on the old style whiskey, you fall asleep. Apparently their daughter was across the street as well. So she ran over and then they all held a macro at gunpoint. Unbelievable. Honestly, they all had guns. Of course. Everybody had guns. Yeah, that's the thing. Oh, well, this is what

the sheriff had to say. He says we begin digging further into the investigation. It was determined that a macro had a relationship with Mrs. Reeves for some period of time. It's not that difficult. It's not fucking. These are not criminal geniuses here. This is what he said. He said that relationship involved methamphetamine, as well as the relationship he had actually been staying in. One of the rooms within the house for a period of time, she was supplying him with food. He's more squirrel than man. He is. This story is so much grosser because apparently bottles of piss were found in the room that a macler was staying. Because she didn't let him in the main house until he could fucking. I guess all he was good for was that dick, huh? I guess that's what

it comes down to. He was just treated like me. And that's what's important right now. If you're going, this is for all of you listeners at home and you're trying to set up a murder for hire plot against your husband. You try and do it. You keep that side piece well fed. Okay. Absolutely. You give him a place where he can go to the bathroom because if not, if he's not disciplined, you got to keep these guys in pocket. If you want to do what you want them to do. I also. So an attorney for a macker acts like you like the guy. If you want him to kill your husband, at least for a while, let him kiss you on the mouth. Give him by buy him a boot like PS five. Treat him nice. Yeah. So a macker right now, he isn't he hasn't entered a plea deal or and I don't believe there's been

official charges and no bond is what was listed. So I don't even know what I don't know what to think because technically I feel like she could have also been trying to get a macker killed by her husband. And then her husband technically would have a right to kill an intruder if he's in his home with a gun. So I don't know what I but the woman I don't think is being charged with anything. No, she's being charged with nothing. She's getting away scot-free because she's just too pretty. I actually I don't know. I don't get it. Something might pan out. Yeah. All right. She might pan out. We'll follow the the a macker mystery in Alabama. What a crazy. Like that is just if it's a guy actually, if George Clooney ugliest himself up a little bit, a macker kind

of looks like a Clooney. I could see Hollywood superstars. That's given a lot. I know him a lot of credit. I know, but he's not. You know, he's got the little mustache which helps the meth go down. And I just think you're getting lonely. I'm not lonely because I have my relationship with one bone t-shirt company. So don't don't worry about me. Give up one moment. What's up? This story, I'm actually even afraid to talk about it because you know what? It makes me even sad just thinking about what could happen to you, Kissel. Oh, it just makes me sad. This guy is quite big. He's bigger than me, bro. Igor Volfkowskisky. I'm going to say that it's Igor Volfkowskisky. Oh, he's a good guy. He's dead at 38, the tallest man in the US.

He grew to seven foot eight inches tall. He died from heart disease. And it's really, really sad because in one of the shirts, he's got a t-shirt that says world's biggest Obama supporter. And he is the world's biggest, what a nice guy. We love the drone wars we all did. Well, he could just go grab him out and shake him up and stuff. It's just toys for him. He finally, like the last big thing we'd heard from him is that he was from the Ukraine. He had previously, he had sought help in buying $16,000 shoes because his feet grew to size 26. And he said because, you know, mainly he liked it because it helped him walk because I like to do simple things again, like maybe go window shopping at a mall. Yeah, you think that's how he sounds? What

if he sounds like me? What if he has a beautiful, nice, crisp kind of deep voice, but also sensitive and soft? You read this quote then. Read the quote then, how it would sound if he was ready for radio. Okay. All right, fine. Here's you want me to read it? Fine. I'll read it. So yeah, this is what he has to say. I'd like to do the simple things like maybe go window shopping at a mall. I haven't done that in about four years. Maybe walk my dog or go fishing. That's sad. You're right. Actually, having it sound less like George Meersan really does make it a bit more sad. Yeah, this is what his older brother said. He said he would have rather lived a normal life than be known. I'm sorry. This is sad. It's really sad. So guys, if you're drinking Stoly tonight, drop an extra shot

for Eagle of Korskinski. He is gone and heaven just got the longest angel. Yeah, this is what he had to say when he beat the previous record holder by a third of an inch. Of course, when it comes to Heidi says, feel so good to finally have proof that I'm the tallest man in America. Hey, man. Big ups to whoever's the tallest man in America now. Because to be honest, the Grim Reaper's coming for you. And I really hope that you get some cardio in there. Yeah. Because no one's add the new one. Because who was it was him? Because then it was the tallest man was eight foot 11. Robert Wesley. Yeah, that was the guy I took a picture with him in. There's a little statue actually all over London. They're very proud of that, man. That's the saddest sentence I've ever

read. Yes, rather lived a normal life than be known. It's hard to be perceived. All right, I think we are on to hero of the week. And everyone will be happy to know the hero has nothing to do with trash. Actually, I have no problem with it being garbage men. I think the garbage men deal like they get a lot of quote unquote. And ironically, and this is true, the pun is intended, they get a lot of shit. They do. And that shit's honey, baby. Lacey Schellen law, 13 years old, speaking of honey, she spotted a large bumblebee lying in the road while she was walking her dog. This doesn't even really make any sense. Well, it's in the good time news, so we're reading it.

What about Joey Grundle? I don't know. Joey Grundle, apparently he's a delivery driver who stopped a kidnapping. But that story is suspect to me. This story, however, is 100 percent real. She scooped up the bee and noticed it had a crumpled up wing. Isn't that sad? And of course, bees are very important for the environment. They are. She tried to put the bee in a safer spot by some flowers in a nearby park, but it refused to stay put. The bee buzzed back over to Lacey, crawling all over her. And after an hour, she gave up and headed home with the creature on her shoulder. I'm sorry to say this, and I don't mean to make fun of this person in this way, but this is the single loneliest thing I've ever heard. She's a 13 year old girl in the middle

of a pandemic. Let her have a bee. She stayed on Lacey throughout the games. She stayed on Lacey for two and a half hours. And this is what Lacey had to say. I'm so happy and I just love spending my time with her. She's so fluffy and I love our friendship. Isn't that sweet? So the bee's still around. Yeah, it's gonna be around until it dies. The insect apparently likes to nibble on Lacey's food, but Lacey always has a little sugar water around because you know how they like that. Yes, indeed. And the the bee even stays in a little jar by her bed as she sleeps. So isn't that just nice? Yeah, it's nice. Honestly, it is nice. So it just goes to so the bees just around the bee just hangs. I mean, that's incredible. I didn't know you could keep a bee for so long.

I thought bees die within a matter of days. She named the she named the bee Betty. So this is what she told her mother Laura. That's the name of my mom. She says it's completely lovely and also bonkers. Betty climbs in Lacey's long hair like it's some kind of jungle. And then she says she's on her 90% of the time during the day, including her face or glasses and even in between her toes. It's so beautiful. Just gorgeous. It is gorgeous. I think that I like this. Also, you'll like to hear this. Betty apparently really enjoys strokes between her wings. It's it's a bee. Good. No, good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Good. So there you go. That's cool. Lacey, shilling law, taking care of even the smallest of our creatures that we've allowed that we must

take care of. Take care of the small. Okay. Okay. You chose the girl as the hero. For some reason, I kept thinking you were going to choose the bee. No. The bee is the hero. Betty the bee is the victim of wing abuse. Somebody, there's maybe a Betty the bee, maybe Bruce, her bee boyfriend, beat her up. Betty the bee was left for dead. I'm going to say here, this is a lot of conjecture. There is nothing but conjecture. Otherwise, there's a picture of the bee crawling all over this 13-year-old girl. So isn't that nice? This entire episode has been conjecture. I don't realize with each one of these stories that we've covered today, we have no clue what's happening in any one of them. Like each one of them is open-ended. There is no definitive evidence.

There's no definitive science behind anything that we talked about. Well, let me know side stories LPOTLs.com. Have you befriended a bee? Please, anything but butter emails. All right. Let's get to emails. All right. Let's listen to some listener emails. They got the emails. All right. So some of these were really fucking gross. And this, I've got to read these too. These are all gross. First of all, looking for the person. Honestly, we had several lovely women reach out and say that they want to massage your feet, Kissel. Fantastic. Thank you. You asked for it. And they're there for you. I have given them your address.

Oh, that is so great. They're going to start arriving. I'm hoping anytime soon. Get out there. You can find them. You'll love them. You'll love his big old feet. These stories are, this is disgusting. Great. It's been some years, but I used to be a bike messenger in Chicago. Chicago. One day, Chicago. One day after my shift, I was getting a 40 or something from the 7-Eleven near my work. When I'm walking out, a dude comes up to me and mentions how he's been seeing me bike around the area a lot. It was creepy, but I love hearing what people have to say in Brompton, which I honestly have with you. I totally get this. So he said, yep, I work on

my bike around here. And we went on to ask me how bad my feet must smell from the work. I said, yep, I got real smelly feet. Socks are hard enough to crack in half at the end of the day. Thinking I was doing this to gross him out. He immediately, he immediately pulls out a piece of paper and writes out his phone number. And he hands it to me, telling me he would love nothing more than to massage my feet after a shift. I can even wear the same socks a few days in a row to get him even more rank if I wanted. I didn't tell him that I usually do. Honestly, there's nothing wrong with this, even at a huge podcast and laugh, we're totally fine with it. So even go as far as to say,

I could bring a friend with me to make sure that it's all safe and all, which is actually kind of nice. And at the end, he could pay me $60 an hour to do it. I said, thanks. And maybe he went around the corner to put his number in my phone book as being in college didn't mean it meant that I didn't have a lot of money. Hey, 60 bucks an hour to have somebody sniff your feet. Everyone's had a college job like that. It is. I found out this week it is the minimum wage in Pittsburgh is $725. Holy shit. You can't even live on it. I definitely get my feet fucking sucked for at least $15 an hour. Well, if you don't eat lunch during the day, then maybe you could make money. Maybe it's just hard. So he talked to a bunch of his bike messenger buddies and they said

that he'd also been approached by the same guy. And then one of them finally said that they went one person even went to go get a roommate of mine from inside because they thought the roommate had gone through it. And it turns out his old roommate had gone through it. And not only he'd gotten the first massage, the guy gave him foot massage, foot finish guy also had him put cigarettes out on his fucking tongue. That's for money, man. No, honestly, that's a job. And honestly, and if he's coming and screaming, then that's great. If that guy loves it, that's great. All right. Intriguing indeed. Here we go. This is another horrible story. My uncle was a cop for about 20 years before being discharged for DUI. That's kind of fun. About 11 years ago, I'm 23,

so keep this in mind. I was 12 years old when this all went down. But my uncle found a severed head when he was a cop. It was Christmas time that year, of course. My uncle, who was always reserved about talking about his cop duties because he lived in an area where I can't imagine how grizzly it was to be on patrol there. So this one Christmas, he had a few too many to drink and disclosed everything. He was doing a normal patrol and I was called to a house to do welfare check on a young adult that was mentally unstable. And his father would routinely check on him. The neighbors noticed that the dad had not come by in a while. The neighbors were worried why this man was not getting care anymore and they called the cops and my uncle came. And when he arrived, he told us that

he was caught off guard by how inviting the man was for him to come into the house. Also, almost as if he was proud of how well he had done without help and he wanted to show off, which is very similar to the guy we covered last week, right? Where he just basically left the guy in the house in the cop of the house. And it's like, you gotta see what I did, right? So the charade was all broken when the uncle went into his room and he noticed that the closet was very smelly. He opened it up and he noticed that there was a duffel bag in there that was all wet. We had the same exact odor, but at a higher concentration. So he went in, he opened it up and right in there was a human head. His way to not escalate the situation because we brought this up last week about like, what do you

do as a cop? Is that he pretended not see the head in the back. He was like, he basically said the man told the man, I actually have to go answer a call really quick. He then went out to his car and he called for the car for backup and he waited inside until everybody showed up. And then they came in, they arrested the dude and they removed the head. Okay. And he said that he knows that to be true because he was at his, as he was 12 years old and his uncle was hammered. He proceeded to take out his phone, his foot bone at the time and show him pictures. Isn't that nice. Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. And that's what I have. Those are the disgusting emails that I have, but we honestly next week, so excited. We're back in here, man. We're back in the fucking mix, bro.

Yeah, we're doing it. We can't wait to see everybody on the road. We'll see you in Detroit. We'll see you in Columbus and we will see you in Cincinnati. Pay attention to emails from your venue about how to handle all of the bullshit. They're going to tell you what to do. I'm excited to see your faces. We're going to get out there. We're going to rip it up. Absolutely. We've been having so much fun. Exploring America and everyone has been so sweet. So thank you to everyone who came out and was responsible and loud and great and Lafty Lafty Lafty Lafty and it's just been wonderful. So it really has been, man. You just got to love. Yeah. You just got to live your life knowing that if you want to be a friend or be, that's fine. You don't need to do any sexual

favors for it. You couldn't. Honestly, I mean, I don't know how big I don't know if you could get at a bee's clit. I know that a bee can get to your clit. Honestly, that's probably safer for it to go after your penis. You would just stick to your clit, could walk around with those little feet. Maybe that's like, and you'd love that. Maybe that'd make you feel all Lafty, as Kissel said, like you would Lafty about the tiny little bee's feet kind of dancing around your clit, doing it's like, where's the honey dance and kind of stick to it, especially if you've been there for a while. You know what I mean? I wasn't referencing that. Yeah. But I mean, if that's what brings you Lafty or makes you Lafty and then love the fact that bees can't talk. Oh, you bees can't talk.

Thank you for filling this out. Bees can't talk. They can't tell everybody what they did to you. All right. Because when it comes down to it, bees, bees could be a victim and we wouldn't know. We didn't know what happened to the other bee. We're just making shit up. But also, maybe at the very end of this, I'm going to say, if you have a severed head in your house, maybe don't be so proud of it. Don't be proud of it. Definitely. I don't know what to tell you on that. All right, everyone. Well, thank you all so much for listening. Hail yourselves. Hail Satan. Magoo's deletions. Hail me, you fuck. We'll be back this week. Got belly to kick pot three. We're going to get Old West style, baby. I can't wait. Go have a go have a good dinner in Pittsburgh. This show

is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com.