Last Podcast On The Left - Side Stories: Nerd Army

Episode Date: January 9, 2020

Ben 'n' Henry break down this week's true crime news: a toe-sucking stranger, a drone army, a crucifix stabbing, and MORE.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last time on the left side stories. That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yeah. Right before the holiday break, I went full Rogan and did a sensory deprivation tank. They call them float centers now. Float centers. Sensory deprivation tanks, they were like frightening people, like the term was frightening people. Why? Because also especially the movie altered states. Because the movie altered states is all about like a scientist uses sensory deprivation to like go back in the past,

but then he becomes a primal man and comes out of the tank like a fucking half monkey beast. It's awesome. Yeah, but the movie Lawn Mower Man didn't turn me off to lawn mowers. Well, it's got nothing to do with lawn mowers. It's Lawn Mower Man. It's about a big dick special man that was fucking this woman. She seduced a woman and then made him a genius user of the computer. You got me off track. Okay. But Lawn Mower Man's got not necessarily anything to do with his job as a garden maintenance person. Okay.

But the sensory deprivation tank really shows you what could happen to your own brain when you let all stimulus like get out of the way. I saw shit, dude, because 2020, a part of my lead O2 energy is the seeking of knowledge. And I hope to do more of these experiences over the years because it was fucking frightening at first. I had a massive panic attack. What did you see? I saw, well, I saw, how do you explain this? So you lose all orientation. I forgot who I was and where I was.

I was just like in darkness and it's like very, very salty water. So you float on it. You can't feel your hands and your legs anymore. Okay. And then all of a sudden I saw an Asian woman. This is true. Okay. That she said, call me Pam. I think I might have fell in the sleep. So I saw that and then I saw a hallway surrounded by curtains that opened up and they had a bunch of little doors on them. And they said, in times of emergency, these are your doors.

You have these five doors that open up in times of emergency, but they will only open when they are truly ready for it. They will appear at your hands and I take that to be very symbolic. I was tripping balls. Oh my God. Then you opened door number three and it was just a person. And on the other side, she said, call me Pam. Maybe. All right.

Welcome to side stories, everyone. I am Ben Kissel staring at the beautiful Los Angeles face of Henry Zabrowski. Yeah. I'm one of the prettier ones out here. This is our first recording of 2020. How exciting, Henry. It's so exciting. I'm going to shit.

Whoa. And nothing bad happened on the night of 2020. I mean, everybody's afraid of World War three, but you should have been already. I mean, I mean, honestly, why do you even? When did you stop being afraid of it? You know, the nice thing is when you're never not at war, it's always World War three. Just add another one in there. Add another one in there.

Come on, buddy. And then we could start doing it. We could take like commercials for the president where he says like the three wars, you know, that you do the thing with like the talk about moms that can like go to the gym and raise their child and have a career. But like, how does he do it all? Like, it could be almost impressive how many wars you can fight at once. Well, absolutely.

We're currently fighting too. And hopefully we can grab one more proxy war. Put us a two and a half. Wow. Yeah, it's kind of fun. It's kind of fun. But let's get into some news because we haven't been able to cover anything true, truly in depth.

You know how in depth we are here. Oh my God. So in depth. We're in the deep end. We're swimming with the sharks. Everybody knows it. Shark Tank. It's me and the guy from the Colts.

What's that? What's the name? Shark Tank. Oh, you're talking about Mark Cuban now. He's with ease with the Dallas Mavericks, which is a basketball team. Sure. Basketball Henry and I. My God.

Did we have something special? Some basketball. We saw some basketball. We went to the Lakers game. We had sweets, which was like not candy. It's like also a place you can sit. It was very nice. It was very nice.

And we were with all the wheelers and a couple of the dealers and they looked at us as if we had shit in our pants. Well, because we walked into this, uh, to this staple center suite and we're like, can we have some of these hot dogs? Like, uh, yeah, that's why the hot dogs are there. And I was just like, but there's a whole thing. Hot dogs. I don't know if someone else is there.

Like, am I going to get like, is there going to be an alarm? If I open this up, is this thing going to, is this hot dog latch going to close on my hands? If I'm reaching for the hot dogs, if these are Mark Cuban's hot dogs, could be. I don't know why they would be Mark Cubans. It would be Jerry Ross's hot dogs. But maybe the nitrate police would come in, shoot us both in the head and just be like two more fat boys.

God, they thought they had it all, but it turns out all they have is a grave. The honey trap worked. We got another two fat boys. They were sold in the sex slavery. If they'll have me, you know, I'll go horrible. But they, it was a wonderful time. Uh, I can't believe we got a nice thing from our age and it was very, very nice. It was very nice.

It was very nice. What a lovely gift. Henry, you seem to really like the game of basketball live and in person because I don't think you've watched very much of it, but there was a lot of slams, a lot of ducks, a lot of trays, aka three pointers. They are young boys working at the peak of their physical abilities and it's nice to see. Yes.

It's interesting that you call them young boys. They are young boys. Well, they're like, yeah, I mean, they're in there. LeBron just turned 34 years old. Yeah. They're in their four age. I know. He's done so much.

He's so big. Do you feel like a young boy? No. Of course not. No, actually, I think that we should add a coughing corner as we get older because I can cough now. I don't even smoke cigarettes and I can just start coughing because all we do is scream. Ah, yeah.

Now we, a lot of things happen over the break. Number one, what I'd like to say, please come and see me at dad's garage in Atlanta this Friday and Saturday. I'm just going to throw it there. Throw it there. I'll plug 10th and the 11th. Come and see me. I don't have any other.

I have no clue what I'm doing. They haven't told me what shows I'm on. I'm literally just doing improv all night. So come see whatever the hell it is I'm going to do and I'm going to try to scar people. I'm leaving it all on the table this year, 2020. You say hindsight. 20, 20, 20, but my old thing is no hindsight, 20, 20, burning bridges, 20, 20. Are they going to just, you don't know what you're doing.

They're flying you out or is it just going to be like the scene from Requiem for a dream ass to ass. I mean, if that's, if that's what the fucking, if he, if I asked for a, of suggestion and someone says, ask to ask, right by improv laws, yes, and I have to go as to, oh my goodness. I'm just very concerned. They're going to cover you in baby oil and make you tuck it behind and then prance around like your buffalo bill. It's their dollar.

I'm the entertainer. Wow. I'm the entertainer. I think I'm the entertain Billy Joel. Billy Joel. There it is. So this story comes from the Kansas city star. Now we've just been covering all that we've been talking a lot about this part of the

world with Bob Burdella and there is a crime that has come out that is very, very similar. Well, I mean, not entirely similar, but eerily similar, too similar to be comfortable. Okay. To the story of Bob Burdella for it to be nice. So this comes from the Kansas city star by, this is an article from Dawson White, accused cannibal eats part of grinder date hanging from his ceiling, Michigan cop say. Oh my. Disturbing details have emerged in the case of a Michigan man who allegedly killed his

grinder date. The man, the victim was, his name is Kevin Bacon. So if you saw Kevin Bacon trending on Twitter, if you're like us where your Twitter feed has been destroyed, the algorithm is destroyed by how much true crime and bullshit you click. So Kevin Bacon, I remember was, it was trending for a day and I was like, what do you do? But then it turns out that Kevin Bacon, it was another Kevin Bacon. So Kevin Bacon 25 was reported missing when he didn't show up for breakfast with his family on Christmas day.

It wasn't long before his car was found outside Family Dollar and Clayton Township with his wallet, phone, and clothes inside, which is not good. The day before Bacon, who has been, who is beloved in his community, he was a hairstylist. He told a friend that he was meeting up with a man that he just met on the dating app grinder. Later that evening, Bacon texted his friend that he was having fun and will be out for a while according to the outfit. So, so far he did correct. Like he did say like, Hey, I'm here.

I'm doing this thing. Right. Having a good time. I'm just going to throw this out there as a warning. You got to be careful, Henry, and not, not to you, you're, you're a taken man. The ring is on the finger, ladies. Yeah. Man.

Back off. Back off, Henry. All of you you hounds. I see the sexual pariah circling around you, just waiting for Natalie to die. Get away from me. Get off of my car. I know. Be careful on these damn dating apps.

I don't know who was still on them. I feel like, I know, I feel like they're the Facebook of love. You know how everyone used to be on Facebook. It was like mandatory. And then you get off of Facebook and then you're like, what trolls are still on Facebook? That's what these dating apps are. They are the trolls of love. Well, you don't use dating apps, right?

I've never used one in my life. I'm six foot seven. That's a dating app. Kissell. Yes. But I was on Tinder for a hot second and the things you don't know anybody, but you do sound like the cops. Cause at the very top of this article, they have a cop of, they have a video of a cop

literally saying being like, it's important to remember if you're going on any one of your unfortunate websites that you got to put a condom over your phone. Like they just say in random old people advice. So on early December 28th, police found Bacon's body in 50 year old Mark Latonsky's Morris area home. He was arrested and charged with open murder and mutilation of a human body. Now it seems like he did not do a lot to hide what he did. Okay.

So these details have emerged according to court documents. Police found Kevin, Mr. Bacon hanging naked from the rafters by his ankles in Latonsky's home. Police said Latonsky confessed to killing Bacon by stabbing him in the back and then slicing his throat and then told police he had cut off Bacon's testicles with a knife before eating them. Oh my. He was excited to say this and what I don't like about the picture of Mark Latonsky is

the joy, the sparkle in his icy blue eyes as he's smiling directly in the camera and he doesn't look 50. This is a person I think that should have been more stressed out. I was looking at a picture of Kevin Bacon's parents, Carl and Pamela Bacon, who have thanked the authorities. They say they're happy that Kevin Bacon is back. He deserves to be given a dignified burial. They also said Carl Bacon says it's gut wrenching to hear the details and we're beside ourselves.

He goes on to say I'm going to remember him, how everyone else remembers him, that he's a good person who is passionate and cares for people. So the parents are obviously devastated. Again, this is happening December 24th. Of course the parents are devastated, they're going to be like, we want him to have an undignified burial. What I hope we do is I want him to bury him with just his dick outs and put birdseed at the tip of it so pigeons can eat the top of his cock-a-balls.

Well, that's a gift. They are very upset. Of course they are. But he, this is not the first time Mark Latunski has been identified with some kind of bullshit. The month before police responded to Latunski's home after a man 29 was seen running from Latunski's home with blood in his face wearing only a leather kilt. Geez. And the reason why Latunski told them that he came out to stop, I mean like listen, listen

to cops where he was screaming, very similar to Dahmer, very similar to Bob Bridella, man covered in blood talking to the police, the police were like icky, this is some weird icky homosexual stuff, Mark Latunski, yes, you have no idea how icky it was and how much come there was and how much I sucked his dick and we actually, we drew up plans to adopt a baby and all the cops were like, what, like throwing up on their shoes. But no, Mark Latunski said the reason why he chased him, he said, he's free to go. But that kilt cost me 300 bucks. So he wanted the kilt.

He wanted the kilt back. So they were like, okay, so the cops walked the dude back until Latunski's home where they got all his clothes and he got redressed and he gave him back the kilt and then the man decided not to press charges. Interesting. So the cops also could have followed up with the question like, why did he run away with the kilt? Why did he have to scramble out of there like he was running back trying to win the Iseman?

Why did he have to flee? I go back in there, I heard they were drawing up plans to make some kind of boutique cupcake restaurant. Oh my. I can't go back in that place here and they're talking about swatches. Oh, I forgot about the swatch. Not that watch, the swatches, swatches is also a common term for a piece of fabric that shows the texture and color and real life of what the fabric is instead of just looking

online. You've never done, you've never bought a piece of furniture. I, no, I have not, I bought put together furniture that you can get on the internet on grind. Someone else's pop. Oh, yes. Yes. I got a bunch of boys over.

It was weird because at some point they were like, when are we going to fuck? And I was like, I just thought you guys were going to put together my IKEA furniture. Hey, you're a bunch of beefy boys when you just move around this furniture. Oh, let's watch the game. So now this dude, Latonsky, he is trying to plead insanity. This is according to his defense attorney, Nicholas Robinson. He says anybody that you have to question about their mental capacity, whether they understand the charges against them, or if they don't understand what they did at the

time of the offense, you send them down to get checked by professionals. So it looks like to Latonsky is trying to go out there, um, claim crazy town and say that I don't know the noodles in his head made him do it. I don't like the, his little fun smile. So that helps him with that, with the telling everybody's insane. I don't know how it will. He's not, he's obviously not insane. This is a premeditated murder.

He knew what he was doing. I think there will probably end up throwing the book at him, especially because he went ahead and it's a two-edged sword because I think a lot of serial killers do this. We've seen this with Ted Bundy, people definitely with Henry Lucas, the confession killer is a very interesting series. I started watching it. I got to finish it. It's the idea of a serial killer's, their confessions being a part of an extended version

of their fantasies. So you wonder if Mark Latonsky had this, he killed a dude, cut his balls off, and then he's sitting there and then he's like, I got to now figure out how to flip this in a way that maybe I can have some form of defense. If you start going, and I ate him, eat him again, like if he's acting like that around the police, then maybe he should be crazy and he should be put into a mental health facility instead of a jail. Maybe you got to take the Cajones in the center of your palm, kind of move them around like

those Chinese balls. But the thing is that unless they were naturally filled with jingles, which I don't think testicles are unless you are Santa Claus, you don't get anything out of the exercise. I see. So the defense attorney goes on to say, even if Latonsky is found mentally ill, he would still go to prison. But in that situation, he would just receive more mental health at the prison in the prison hospital.

So no matter what, it seems like this guy, as Henry said, will be in the clink for quite a while surrounded by a whole bunch of guys. And my goodness, what his future will look like. Honestly, it sounds like he's going to have a blast. And then this actually went all the way up to the Kevin Bacon, because there are many people that have wondered whether or not he was named after Kevin Bacon. The parents say that he was not. You just happen to be coincidence.

Yeah, Kevin's a very common name. And Bacon is not that uncommon of a last name, not to mention a great breakfast dish. But there is a big number one, Kevin Bacon, unfortunately, that all the other Kevin Bacon's have to get behind to the point that Kevin Bacon decided to make a statement on his own Instagram on behalf of all Kevin Bacon's everywhere. I remember that he just showed his testicles. He just wore. These are the Bacon's.

These are the Bacon's. Yeah. These are the Bacon's. But Kevin Bacon says, for obvious reasons, I'm thinking this morning about the friends and family of this young person, Kevin Bacon, his life was taken from him much too soon. His love was hairdressing. I bet he would have done a great job on this mess on my head. RIP KP.

Oh. Can Kevin Bacon do anything wrong? I'm going to say no. Sir of Echoes is pretty good. Speaking of hogs, my God, he has one. When has he shown us cock? He does it in that one film. I believe he becomes invincible, but they show us kind of like invisible outline of

his penis. You're talking about the hollow man, having bacon, penis. I'm looking this up. Yes. Oh my God. You don't see it obviously because he's the hollow man, but you know what he's rocking. Yeah. Let me see this thing.

I mean, his name should be Kevin. He should be Kevin sausage. He made that half hard. Well, even if it would be fully erect, it's still a big hog, Henry. Amen. That's actually how you judge a penis size. If we just judged by like non erect penises, then the whole thing would be off kilter. I like to see those penises in a reading comprehension test.

Let's take a look at this next story. Now, I was going to say, isn't that nice though, Henry, because growing up, did you have this growing up where you're like, I don't know any other Zabrowski's in Hollywood. There's no one else like me. I know I wanted to be the number one. You always wanted to be number one. I love it. My last name.

And I'm not the only one. You're not George Zabrowski. There's George Zabrowski. That was a sci-fi writer. I mean, I believe that there is a Polish soccer star, which means he plays with a football. I don't even, I don't even fully get the joke, but I'm going to let it. He's a Polish soccer star, which means he plays with a football. Yes.

Yes. Indeed. Great radio all around. And then, uh, there, I, I'm not, I don't think that there is, but there's some kind of, some guy who did some kind of reservoir poisoning. All right. Well, that's not really a Hollywood persona, but there's no kissles out there. And I remember thinking, oh, I wish there was a kissle on the basketball courts so I

could have someone to look up to so I could have a role model, but now it's kind of nice to be the only one. Yeah. The only role model you look after is the, uh, the guys that are the bakers over at Dunkin' Donuts. Whoa. Mamacita. I am full of, of it today.

This is 2020 hindsight, 2020. I'm saying Vernon Bridge is 2020. No hindsight. 2020. Wow. All right. All right. Let's take a look at these.

All right. This next story. Uh, we've got a lot of news on this. I think it's very interesting. It's one of those anomalous things. I have no clue what it's all about. There's a lot of people, a lot of guessing and see if we can get to the bottom of it. Okay.

This is about these mystery drones that have been swearing over Colorado. Now this is something Henry and I have been talking about for a while. This comes in from the past. This is news from 2019. This is from 2020, but actually it is currently going. Yes. This is a article I got from 505 PM yesterday from the New York magazine. This story is totally crazy.

If you don't know, check out the picture of the drones. You can just search probably mystery drones. It is like a militant force of, it's like a nerd army somewhere in a bunker. There's 10 kids covered in Cheeto dust that are about to rule the world. But we actually don't know unless they work for some, they work for fucking NORAD that might actually be the closest thing. There's a recording article about the mystery drones. It's called about those mystery drone swarms over Colorado.

The latest mystery to manifest in American skies, swarms of drones that fly by night over the Great Plains. Since the middle of December, residents within a 200 mile swath of Eastern Colorado and Western Nebraska have reported coordinated groups of unmanned aerial vehicles that fly between dusk and midnight. The craft of wingspans of about six feet and at times fly in synchronized grid patterns, dozens at a time as if mapping the landscape below. People don't know what's going on.

According to listeners that we have that have been sending me messages from local Facebook pages about what's going on, apparently the big thing is that Phillips County Sheriff's office has come out with a statement through their Facebook page. A strategy meeting was held today in Brush, Colorado with federal, state and local law enforcement agencies regarding the drone issue. None of the agencies can confirm that the drones are malicious. A task force has been organized and we are asking for your assistance. Specifically, we are looking for the command vehicle.

We're looking for a closed box trailer with antennas or a large van that does not belong in the area. Interesting. So we're looking for the A team. We're looking for a black van, nice red streak. We're looking for Mr. T. We're looking for face. We have ourselves a group of rag tag, fire throwing, bomb throwing and our kiss perhaps. You are, um, you are fear mongering.

I don't drive people into a tizzy for absolutely no reason. I will fear mongering. The fact is Henry, the FBI, the FAA and the U.S. Air Force, they don't know what it is. They don't know what it is because a lot of people were saying, Oh, this is probably maybe a government program or maybe this is like maybe a company looking for oil, whatever it might be, but these huge government, uh, operations, um, have no clue what the hell it is. Well, what we're signing.

So now I have some, an extra layer of information. Okay. There are some theories that this is very similar to another exercise of when, because this is, we're in the murky world of private contractors, private companies that also function with the government using various, like they are with covert branches of the government. Of course. And they are assigned to do specific jobs. Absolutely.

It seems to be, it's very similar to a search for a lost top secret weapon or possibly a nuke because this area is our gigantic, these are our nuke fields. I forget what they call the Great Plains Intercontinental Nuclear Warhead Armed Ballistic Missile Fields. That's where this, that's where this shit's happening over. This is happening in Colorado, Kansas, and Nebraska, and absolutely we got some nukes over there, but the question is, this would be like a hard target nuke. It would be sitting in a silo with somebody just hammered and they were like Jerry Lewis

and one of his slapstick 1970s classics and they lost a massive nuke. How would you lose a nuke? This is a John Candy movie. We're watching a John Candy movie from the side. Yes. Oh, it's very possible. Just rolled down a hill somewhere. These are pretty big things, these ICBM nukes.

But they say the reason why all of this is happening at night is because it's easier to see the radiation traces at night because you don't have all the background radiation of the sun. So we, no one knows what agency is doing this, what private company is doing this. They are commercial grade. These drones are between six and 10 feet wide. They're huge. That's, that's a good point to bring up too.

These are not your typical like open up the present Tommy, oh my God, it's a drone. I can't believe it. I'm going to go spy on Susie. Now Tommy's a felon. Yep. This is, these are the size almost of like a windmill. Yes. These are very big.

They're very, very big and they are so they are not, you can't get them. We couldn't purchase them if we want to. These are things like they're between five and 10 grand apiece. They're up in the sky doing a bunch of shit. We don't know what the hell it is. It's just showing the, you know, I think it's just important to remember, you know, I have, I don't, I don't stand anywhere controversial with the gun issue. I think, you know, if you want them, they should just regulate them, all that kind of

bullshit. But this is just important to understand that if you just have a handgun, you're not going to do a lot against a gigantic swarm of coordinated 10 foot long drones. So you're recommending grenade launchers and by the way, Henry, that gun stance of yours, it's extremely controversial because that's the world we live in and you uttered a sentence about a hot topic. So God, you've, you've pissed off someone now. I think that if you want to have a gun and dress it up as a baby, you can go ahead and

do that. You just need to wait for it. Honestly, baby guns, not guns to kill babies, but guns that are shaped like babies. Protect yourself out there folks. Sheriff's departments across three states, again, Nebraska, Kansas and Colorado, because these drones know where to go on vacation. They know where to go have fun. Yeah.

In December, they have in mid December, there have been 30 reports again, three different states. This is according to sheriff Steve Reems of Weld County, Colorado. He says, I think whomever is responsible for it probably has some answering to do to the general public. So they don't seem to know what it is. It is possible this whole FBI, FAA, Air Force investigation is just sort of a front because perhaps this is a massive effort by somebody, a janitor tripped over a cord and next thing

you know, we're in a nuclear war with China. So maybe that is just sort of like them investigating something they already know to exist and why it's there. And they have to just kind of be like, well, we just got to do this. We just got to find this nuke and then we'll answer questions once we're done finding the nuke. You know, then we'll be like, just so you know, yes, it's true. We do lose these nukes from time to time, but they love to wander.

I'm not going to suppress the natural curiosity of these nukes. I don't know why they built the new nukes with legs. It doesn't make any sense. They were like, and with any luck, they'll have intelligence by the year 2020. I don't know why they chose to do that with the nukes. I like to keep them dumb, keep them focused on their job blowing up Russians, but they made them autonomous apparently. You better be careful talking about these thing and robots too.

I was watching a documentary from Frontline about Chinese AI and we better win that AI war. I know all you're saying are you guys are all anti AI, but we got unfortunately the government's already chosen this AI like proxy war we're having with China in terms of like the technology. Oh, I'm not saying we should lose it. We got to win it. That's what I'm saying.

We got to win it. No, when it comes to all of that, we got to win the AI war. We need the smartest robots. Now are we going to get them? Our biggest facility to make robots is in Boston. So you know for a fact all of these, all of these horrible robot dogs, they're all going to be Celtics fans. They're all going to be Patriots fans.

They're all going to be hammered every Sunday beating their wives. It's going to be or husbands. It's going to be like a Boston robot. Everyone's going to be like Mark Wahlberg was actually a great rapper. It's all going to be like, what the hell is this robot talking about? I'd say the biggest problem Mark Wahlberg brought us the lettuce wrapped hamburger, which I think is the biggest mistake that society's ever allowed. And I'm afraid of allowing him to also have his hands at the controls of American AI.

Wait a second. Wahlbergers was the first to do the lettuce wrapped hamburger. They definitely made it popular amongst the guys that were construction and cheat on their girlfriends. Definitely not a thing. But Henry, I have a question for you because we were talking about this earlier. I am surprised it hasn't happened yet. A group of drones attacking the White House.

What is to stop a bunch of nerds from getting together strapping a grenade to their drones? And I'm not being like, oh, go out there and do it. I'm just saying if you work in like the Secret Service. You are definitely introducing the idea to the lexicon. I know you're saying have this idea. Like you're being like, I don't want you to pay me for it. No. For the world.

Anybody can take this idea. And also, I think it's very interesting how this is a reverse position where normally I am the one coming up with domestic terror ideas and you shooting me down. This is me. I don't want to be in defense. I want to technically say, I think the White House is very safe. I think they have their own drones. I imagine they have their own shit.

It's also one of the most scanned pieces of real estate in the galaxy, the airspace above the White House. Okay. Let's just say the UN. Let's say any kind of assassination attempt. Wow. I just feel like the drone. We just did one.

We just did it. Which one? Well, we got that Durrani in general. Oh, that was that's different. That's a military drone. I am talking about. How is it any different? Because they're huge.

Those are ships. Those are aircraft spaces. They're going to do another. They're going to get, but eventually we'll get those for private. That's what I was saying is that I want to do drone control. I want everyone in America to have a big military drone. We're not all going to get the blimp drones that they have in the military. Those things are like eight feet long, like by 16 wingspan, 16 foot wingspan.

I am talking a group of those little drones you get at Christmas. You strap a bomb to it. You got you and all of your friends. These are weaker than you think. You didn't assassinate one person. You got one piece of meat to kill. You know, you don't think you fly 15 drones. You attach a little bomb to a whole show fucking canceled.

You can't know a whole show fucking take it because I have my own plan. I have plans that I save. I have plans that I save that I kind of keep in my own mind, like the wall facers do in the three body problem. I sit and I have an idea for plans to the future that I only have told myself that I know are picture perfect plans to create total chaos. And I save them because I don't want anybody else taking them because I want to unleash them in terms of if there is an emergency, I want to be able to unleash them and have

no one be able to stop me. No, I understand. I am just saying I am. Keep these ideas private. Keep these ideas off the radio. I'm just talking to you, Henry. You're not. You're not.

You're not. I'm a million people. I'm just talking to you, though, um, and, and, and the millions listening. But I am surprised and I'm happy it hasn't happened. I'm just saying I'm surprised that people have not been militarizing their drones earlier because you know me. That's what's right now. They're used for peeping, but all things age.

So right now a drone is like a 13 year old boy and it's in a few years. It's going to be an 18 year old. You're projecting a lot. No, I am not. Oh my God, I was way too busy drinking alone, but you're very seriously affected by the drones is because you're so tall and you see him more than I do. I'm going to kill you this year. I am going to.

I am. You are going to end up. I'm going to put your head on a little spike. Maybe 2020 is the year where we ramp up our friendly attacking of each other, our friendly antagonism. We ramp it up Marxist style to a conflict and then see how it all shakes out. Bring it into the octagon. We could sell out MSG.

That would be the Zabrowski versus Kissel a match made in Bologna. I love it. I love it. I could see us carved out of Bologna just kissing each other. I would like to thank S for sending me all of these Colorado drone update. So for the, I've had boots on the ground, sending me information from Colorado, which I really appreciate. I do love it.

Do you think there's anything, any correlation with the marijuana? Is there anything to do with that? Just be able to stay in high as fuck, being, people being high as fuck. It sounds like it's a really fun place to be super stoned. If you looked up in the sky and saw a drone army, I don't know. I think that you're right. If I have fire on my reaction would be to get it. These are also the natural cave systems where they say the reptilians live this whole time,

this whole area. Also wanted, this is a quick shout out to E who decided to respond to me because apparently I made some comments about how I think that we should burn down the Amazon and let it restart. E says, hello guys, I'm currently a college student majoring in biology. I wanted to say something about Henry's latest comment on side stories, simply put burning down the Amazon is an absolutely terrible idea due to the fact that the nutrients that would enter the soil via ash would be quickly eroded away by the thin topsoil and heavy

rains in the region. This is why slash and burn agriculture is both bad and prevalent in the region and introduce, I don't know why you're reading like this. It seems like a very reasonable email ever crop is being grown, but only last for a few years. Right. They have to burn down more the jungle. Hypothetically, if I were to burn down the entire Amazon rainforest, not only would

huge amount of biodiversity would be lost, but would take an extremely long time for it to regrow. So it's one of the only emails that has made any reasonable rational sense on every single level. And you read it as if this person is not all there with their faculties. And I don't know why you did that, Henry, because that was a very strong, passionate email about saving the rainforest. If the Amazon was as strong as it pretended to be, it would pull itself up by the bootstrap

and go faster. It doesn't wear boots. It does not wear boots. It can make boots out of the fucking bark. Who gives a shit? Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, make yourself fixed faster. They're not ants. They're not alive in the sense that they can speak to each other and throw little people

around. They are just sitting there like ducks waiting to get slaughtered. Catch up or shut up 2020. Catch up or shut up. Well, speaking of catching up this story, I don't want to say it warms my heart because I think that makes me call us. What story? A teen charged on suspicion of killing in alleged pedophile priests.

He didn't just kill him in your traditional time up. Shoot him in the head, slice his throat. He killed this priest in a cinematic way that could only be scripted by Scorsese Tarantino. He took a crucifix and he jammed it down this priest's throat until the priest died. This go fuck yourself. You piece of shit. That is fucking ass. This air quotes accused pedophile priest.

I am going to do this. I'm just going to cut off the word accused and just call him a pedophile. Say it more like accused. That's how you take the heat off of it. Take the heat off. His name is Roger Mottasoli. He's 91 years old. Four people thus far have come forward and been like, yeah, that guy is a child rapist.

Can you remember when a 50 year old to 75 year old priest is sucking on your dick? I don't care what anybody is saying. Do you remember it? This guy is 19 years old. He said he was molested about when he was around 10 years old or so. The priest is 81, like, I don't even, like, what's the name of this? He misses being 81. Disgusting.

So the police have questioned this 19 year old boy suspected of murdering a priest again by shoving a crucifix down his throat. This is in, I think it's O.C. France, I'm sure it's not O.C. but that's what I'm going to call it. O.C. France. It's probably like, wow. It's mandatory. It is O-I-S-E.

Tell us what it is. I believe it's, wow. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Because you don't pronounce any of those letters in French. I don't know. It's like, wow. I'm going O.C.

O.C. France. O.C. France. Oh my God. So the interrogation took place despite the suspect identified in the media as Alexander V being hospitalized for, quote, significant mental problems. The suspect, again, jammed a crucifix down this priest's throat. This is according to the suspect's lawyer. He says, we now know that the suspect's father was a victim of the priest as well.

He goes on to say, wow, he's been fucking suckin', do you think that? He went down the line. This is a, this is a crass question. But do you think at some point when he's suckin' the grandson's penis, that he, like, thinks about the grandfather and either number one gets, like, ugh, he's above oldies now? Or do you think he looks at the penis and he's like, ugh, it's just like I remember. Well, that's a question you like to ask, man. Well, that is a crass question and I don't know the answer to it because I'm not in the

mind of a 91-year-old pedophile priest, but they, the lawyer goes on to say, we also know that this papa tried to protect his children and then after the divorce, he fell back into the clutches of Matasoli. Alexandra, Alexandra, Alexander, it's probably Alexander mentioned facts that were likely to disturb him deeply. There was a talk of Alexander cleaning the house naked for the priest. Oh, God, I mean, I've seen the nude maid's thing because we do, we have a lot of naughty maid vans here in LA.

Naughty maid vans? Yeah, topless, like topless house cleaning. That's actually fairly common. No, I know that and I have no problem with that. I think we need, we're such prudes in this country, everything needs to be much more legalized and accepted and celebrated. But the thing about the nude or topless maid, Seinfeld, that show isn't, it doesn't hold up as much as I liked it as much as I hoped it would.

But the one thing that he did get right was, was negative nude. When you're doing things that aren't attractive when you're nude, and I'm going to say when you're a maid cleaning, I don't need to see your breasts. You're insane. I'll watch it all day. Yeah, but watch everybody do it. I want to have a nude accountant. I'd have a nude, uh, lawn maintenance person.

I'd have a nude landlord. You want our Long Island accountant. You want our business managers, our male, Italian, Long Island business managers to be nude. I'll see Cox. I'll see tits. I'll see Bush. Both kinds.

I'll see butts. I like to see. I don't know what it is. I'm, I'm cool with it. No, I, you know what? I'm actually cool with that as well. So Alexander and what I'm not cool with though is, is this story Alexander and his father, we're not the first men to accuse Matsus Holy of sexual abuse.

The suspect's family said the known accusations were well known. These accusations were well known and they date all the way back to the 1960s. It's almost like they didn't do anything about it. They don't really, it's like a whole like institutionalized like silence that comes from the very top. Well, it's like it's an inherently corrupt, an organized organization, like the entire Catholic church, like the, like the Vatican should be melted down if they actually believe in the idea of feeding the poor or changing society.

That maybe they could sell some of the priceless treasures they have within that gigantic morgue. They call the Pope's president palace that they could maybe, you know, clothe and feed all the people they supposedly care about. Absolutely. And of course, if you want to know more about Catholic corruption, look no further than the story of Mother Teresa. She took a lot of money. She's a liar.

She's a liar. She's a media whore. She's a total liar. It's kind of, honestly, we still have. We still have Tom Hanks. That's obviously I'm not putting any faith in an actor. Never put faith in an actor. They always have skeletons, their closet.

He's always got, he's got something to don't believe in him. The only pure person has been Bobby Badia, Bobby Bonilla because he's still making money. He made money just from the pure, the crowd roaring, hot dogs being sold, popcorn being strewn about the boys in their tight little uniforms running around the diamond. That's pure. He's still doing it. He's not still doing it. He's still making money.

He's still making money. But that doesn't make you. That's huge. He's making money and not working. That's an American dream. That's the idea. He's the peak. I agree.

But do you see the Pope slap that woman's hand? Yes, the Pope is, I don't, I've never been on Team Cool Pope. I never will be on Team Cool Pope. I'm doing air quotes when I say the word cool. He's not a cool Pope. He's the head of the largest pedophile ring in world history. We are coming in hot this week. I know.

It's hindsight. 2020. All right. Well, the reason this pope was able to grab that, well, he grabbed that woman, the woman was grabbing him. So he slapped her hand up and so I understand why you did it, but wasn't that a whole damn story about Jesus when he healed that blind woman? She crawled over to him and then she touched his shirt and then all of a sudden she could

see his disgusting feet. Like wasn't the whole point of that story to touch Jesus and then you could be cured of polio? Nothing happens. Jesus was half, if Jesus was real, he would have been half reptilian. Yeah, that's true. That's how we would have been able to do it by manipulating her on a quantum level. What is the name of that thing that priests get when the reason they get shipped all around?

It's something like. Pedophile camp. Well, we, we've really went in hard on the Pope today. Anything that's good. Well, the Pope is doing just fine and you're completely right. They need to burn down the Vatican. It's worth billions of dollars. It's a massive corporation.

But no one listens to me and I'm just the new accountant. Hey, buddy. I'm just the new accountant. We got new chairs in because all of these chairs are all streaked with brown. But now that we have the bidets, we're hoping to a cleaner 2020. I was just in the, in the West Coast studio. I didn't see a bidet. No, I actually just got one of those tushies.

The ones that you can attach to the in how I'm going straight for full on buffets. I'm so sick. I'm buffets. I'm going full on bidets. I'm doing cleaner buttholes, cleaner buttholes, cleaner buttholes 2020. Go after it. This is a story. I'm really excited to tell you guys about.

It's really fucking disgusting. This comes from the HuffPost.com, Florida man wakes to find a stranger sucking his toes. What is going on? David Moyey, a Florida man had an unusual visitor on Christmas Eve. Oh yeah. I forgot. Also the murder, the cannibal murder also happened on Christmas Eve. Yes.

This is all Christmas. Yep. A Florida man had an unusual visitor on Christmas Eve. One who had toes and not toys on his mind. Oh, the unnamed victim said he woke up. Honestly, whoever wrote that for HuffPost needs to be fired. No. I think he's very good.

David Moyey. That was very funny. I don't know. The unnamed victim said he woke up and discovered his toes were being sucked by a stranger. Even more disturbing. When the victim asked his visitor what was going on, the man just said, I'm here to suck toes. According to the May Roddy Piper, if they live, you're to suck toes and chew bubblegum and

I'm all out of bubblegum. The victim fought back only to have the alleged toesucker attempt to grab the victim's genitals. Damn. He had a gun. Whoa. The victim, who never saw the gun, managed to force the suspect out of his home, the accused toesucker, then smashed a window in the home and destroyed the victim's car windshield before getting away on foot.

He's so mad. Although police took DNA swabs from the victim's toes and used the police toes to try to track down the suspect. That is the hardest part and we're not. This is kind of funny because it's about toes, but like after you call the police and you're like, I have just been like assaulted in some way. In this case, it's toes, they go in and it just sucks. The whole process sucks.

Of course. And now this guy asked like you don't even laugh. Let me ask you. Let me. Okay. So he was asleep and this guy, you can have some kind of red suit on, sir, I really wish you'd stop making like a joke about this. I've been violated, a man broke my home and he sucked on.

He sucked in my toes. Yeah, I know. I know. I know. You said that. Let's get some, uh, guys, take some swabby toes. So we got that, that Jets coach. We got the Jets coach to be able to come in here.

Wow. Rex Ryan joke. Quentin Tarantino coming in here to heal us, get some footage of this. There it is. Some footage. And so the, uh, and so you're just sitting there and then you have to let all these cops giggle as they swab your toes and then a police dog's brought in who then sniffs and licks your toes again.

Cause I assume cause it's a dog and it's trying to have a nice time, but it's sniffing the toes and he's like, please sir, just let it sniff right then. He's like, it starts licking all of a sudden. You're now in a post traumatic fucking like you're going back to the moment when you woke up and saw a man just sucking on your toes. Like it was a fucking lollipop. Just looking up you all innocent, like those POV porn's where him just like looking up being like, sorry, daddy.

I didn't, I know you so what you need to be relaxed before going to work like doing that kind of shit. I don't know. I don't know what rabbit hole you've just gone down. I just said those videos where it's all about relaxing daddy and you have to have the step daughter come in. She's sucking your toes and you're from a POV and it's all about you. You're on your way to work.

You're like, come on. Damn it, Tina. I got to get in a van. You're going to work with my boys. The carpools here. And Jesus is like, no, dad, I'm sorry, daddy. You got to make sure I clean his toes and make sure you're all ready for work. That is disgusting, Henry.

So the person that wrote this article, again, this is David Moy. I find him to be talentless and no, I don't find it to be talentless, but I will say this. The article ends with him putting a link to the latest season of Temptation Island. There's a link of the latest season of Temptation Island in the article. Again, this is a, this is assault on this man and this is what he says. This is how he closes his article. He says, we can't say whether the Florida suspect saw the latest season of Temptation Island before the alleged assault, but the video above offers further thoughts on toes

sucking. Did they break into somebody's home and start talking and sucking their toes? I don't think the toes suck is the biggest issue here. I think it's the home invasion and then waking up with a weird grouper fish sucking on your toes like you're, like you're grime on the bottom of the sea. Oh my God. Yes, it's like this is disgusting. You're getting catfished.

It's the literal, I think it should be the new. This is the new definition of catfished. It's not, you're being, it's not being faked, it's having a fucking bottom dweller, a bottom feeder sucking on the, the barnacles of filth on your toes as you sleep. But I could just imagine cause on some level this toe sucker, guys, I, I'm going to say this not in defense of the toe sucker, but remember if someone's broken your home and they're sucking your toes while you sleep, they're more afraid of you than you are of them.

I actually would disagree with that. Why would you even say they broke into your home? I know. Of course. They obviously don't have much fear. No, they don't have a lot of fear. But in that moment, they're so scared that the toe sucking will end before they're done. And why do you do it?

But the thing with toe sucking out of, and all fetishes really, millions and millions of people are dying to get their toes sucked. That's why most people in Florida wear sandals. Everyone wants their toes to be sucked. I'm surprised these cops didn't ask what his toes were wearing that night. Why were his toes out so late? Like toes get sucked all the time, legally, consensually. Just find someone and be like, you need a cleaning?

And then three out of 10 times they'll say yes. Unfortunately, what we've seen is that some people, the real thrill is not even just the toe sucking. It's the surprise on the unsuspecting sleeping person's face. That's what makes him nut. It's not the toe sucking. The toe sucking is just a, it's a venue. It's a way to get to the surprised, horrified look on a man's face as he awakens to you

suck it on his toes. That's what he likes. It's also a very risky thing to do because if I via awaken someone sucking on my toes, whether it be a person or a rat, I'm kicking it. I'm immediately going to kick it and try to take some teeth out. I don't like it because sometimes I have had that happen where I've woken up to, and it's Wendy. Yeah, of course.

It's Wendy giving little licks, but that's just, she's just trying to go out. Yeah, I know. And then it's, I don't like that. I don't like that. Puffin doesn't do that. Thank God. Natalie and I got into it. Not even remotely, but you definitely like licking the bottom of my foot the other day.

And I was like, do I stop this? And Natalie's like, well, technically this is her like showing that she loves you and she's trying to take care of you. So if you can stand it, just kind of let her do it. So that's what I do. Okay. So let her do it. So that's a fine line.

You also cannot get around. I'm just going to turn to home by it. Yeah. No, it doesn't make, it doesn't make me hard. I don't think. If it made me hard, I'd nip it in the bud. Side Story's L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com. Is it okay to allow your dog to suck your feet?

I don't think so. I thought she's not sucking my feet. It sounds like she broke into your apartment. Deep-throating my toes. I think you have a little orphan situation. Wendy is actually 38 years old. She has proportional dog-ism and she is sucking on those toes, Henry. Also, if you want to have a good time, troll this guy.

If you look up findingmyrepublicangoddess.com. This is someone sent me this website, a man-generated. What? Where did that even come from? It came from an email from M. It's really, really fun. One of the things he did like, this guy, it's a questionnaire that you could fill out to date him. He's looking for his Republican goddess.

And one of my favorite is at excerpts where he says, I am intensely sexual. He's 68. My sexual journey in this lifetime has taken me into the core of my being as a man. Into the God presence within me. This has been a profound, deeply spiritual journey. At times extremely painful. At others, ecstatic. If we connect, I will be happy to tell you that story.

Here I will merely state the result. My sexual practice has evolved into a sacred spiritual practice, the highest form of meditation and worship. I believe women have a greater capacity to receive pleasure than men do, while men have a greater capacity to deliver pleasure than women do. Hence my greatest pleasure is worshiping my goddess by giving her prolonged, repeated, explosive, full body, female experiences. I saw a picture of the guy who looks like Jim Carrey from The Mask before he puts the

mask on. He dresses very flamboyantly. Honestly though, as far as like dating profiles go, he sounds kind of fun. He's very professional. He's very professional. Well speaking of professional, let's put our serious caps on really quick to our wonderful listeners and to everyone in Australia. We're thinking about you.

Holy shit guys. We've donated the best we can. So please. Tell us where to. I'm going to put this as a call out to y'all. Send us what are the best places to give money to. We will pump them on the Twitter, on our social medias, all that kind of bullshit because I know you guys are, no, it's fucked over there.

I know those fires are insane. Right now, over half. What can we do to help? We have a lot of listeners and we love that country. I miss the hell out of Australia. I wish I could live there. Absolutely. They've currently lost, they've currently lost around half a billion animals.

They've lost countless amounts of plants and wildlife. They've lost, I believe it's been 1400 homes, something like that, 25 people. No, it's insane. It's absolutely insane. If you want to donate, Celeste Barber has actually been doing quite a bit. He's gotten so far $30 million for firefighters and victims. So Celeste Barber, you are amazing. I'm going to lump you in with this week's Hero of the Week.

So this week's Hero of the Week, she is an adult performer. Her name is Kaylin Ward. She is just 20 years young and she has raised over a million dollars for wildlife relief, for the bushfire relief in Australia, in order to do this, she was sending nudes to people on Instagram, I believe DMing nudes, $10 a pop, obviously all of that money is going to Australia. But because of this, and this is what makes her the Hero of the Week, because of this, her account got shut down.

People were criticizing her for sending nudes. That's why she's a hero because she said that is ludicrous, it's ridiculous. She's fighting for her right to save the wildlife and I believe she deserves a kudos and a congratulations not to ever Instagram shut down for selling nudes. Of course, she's a beautiful woman and because of her, more adult film actresses, more adult stars have chipped in, they're doing Riley Reed as one of them. Absolutely. So if you need motivation other than watching pandas die and watching, did you see the kangaroo

stuck in the, stuck in the fence? It's awful. It's awful. But if you need more motivation, check out Kaylee Ward, check out any of your adult film stars. Perhaps they're also doing something similar. Give 10 bucks, get a nude, but it's all about saving the wildlife. She is saving wildlife.

She's raised over a million dollars. She's doing the Lord's work. She really cared. I really did. It's amazing what the internet can do. This is one of, to me, it's very positive. An idea of her really using what you'd call her influencer status to make a difference. And so hopefully, you know, we are going to be giving and pumping whatever we can to Australia.

So let us know where to go. Absolutely. Again, Celeste Barber, check her out and Kaylee Ward, just donate to these people and they will be giving this money to Australia. Apparently she's been filtering through her DMs, looking at receipts. About half of the receipts are evidently fake. So she's like, no, that's a fake receipt. Also what sociopath sends a fake donation receipt.

Just donate $10, you know, it's not like you'll do it. And you know, then you'll get your nude. She said, we had some people who donated a lot of money, one person, 5,000 and at least 10 people, 1,000. Those we made sure we had their name and second verification of the payment. So Ward, Kaylee Ward, you are this week's hero of the week, along with all of the other great people who are using their platform to raise money for the wonderful folks of Australia. Because that is on fire.

And if you saw the response of their government, it makes the way that W handled Katrina looked like he nailed it. You don't know what it seems like. It's just the massive fuck up and it's just also just a huge problem. They were all in vacation. Did you see that? Everyone was on vacation and like everyone's like, well, I guess we'll have to go back now.

It's like, well, we, what are you doing? We could use more vacation in the United States of America, but you know, we'll talk about that. This is that this is bad version of this. Now when you're the leader in your country is on fire, on fire. All right. So a couple, I have a couple of letters that I want to read that we have from listeners. These are really fun.

This comes from H. So this was a friend of a friend was raised Mormon. And so she wanted to, she was describing her, some of the ideas that she had, the things that we came up with. So one friend was a bartender. She was apparently direct descendant of the dookie king himself, Brigham Young, who first seemed questionable, but then I remembered he had like 60 children. The second guy said his wife, my wife was an ex-Mormon and a very interesting family

heirloom that had been passed down for many generations. A single apparently reusable lamb skin condom, it's meant to be used and reused. And then you, you wash it out, dry it and you keep it safe. I can't imagine what it would have looked like and smelled like. After we left though, I thought maybe this is a weird backwards, Missouri family tradition since aren't Mormons, very anti birth control is in the whole point to make more Mormons. So I did a little Googling and it turns out this is actually, albeit perhaps not universally a Mormon thing.

Apparently there is a book called Secret Ceremonies by Deborah Lake, where she describes among many other disturbing details of the temple ceremonies and forced marriage, her father-in-law giving them reusable lamb skin family condoms. So the whole family would use them and it's gross, but that's why he could use, Joseph Smith was a purportedly having all the sex, but he had relatively few children in comparison to Brigham Young because they were using these lamb skin condoms apparently, which is a lot of fun. So he could use them and they'd give them to the son.

The family that shares condoms together, stares at each other awkwardly together. Yes. And here's another tell-do, it's one last old story, it's really fun. This comes from F. The Enbinton man had his arm amputated and then he kept the bones. Mark Holmgren was 17 years old when he borrowed his brother's motorbike. I was driving too fast, turned the corner and I wiped out, I tore the nerves on my shoulder, it was a brachial plexus injury and from that day I could never use it, couldn't move it, couldn't feel it, Holmgren carried his dysfunctional arm around for nearly two

decades before deciding it was time to do something about it this year. At first it was, I'm going to wait, they'll be able to fix it, they're coming up with new stuff, give me some kind of robotic arm, but I'd been waiting too long, he recalled. I decided to just remove it, move on I guess. He contacted doctors at the University of Alberta Hospital who agreed to amputate his right arm in April and then he kept it. First they sent me a paper, I signed it, sent it back to the doctor and into the surgery room with me and just showed me all the doctors in there and they were all like, yep, we know.

So they carried it off, he tried to fucking cut it off, he left the hospital with his arm in a garbage bag, couldn't they give him anything nicer than a garbage bag? No, that's what they had, that's what they had, he tried to ask taxidermists to clean his arm but a lot of them wouldn't because it's bad, but then he said after a few weeks of searching he found legends taxidermy in Drayton Valley who agreed to do the job and they just, they skinned it down to just bones and he brought it to Christmas. He brought his arm to Christmas and none of them, well his family wouldn't touch it. Which is really funny, it's a great story.

I think it's like, it's like a fucking metal. Oh, you gotta touch the hand, I would be shaking the hand. You're going to be scratching my back with it and doing all this shit. But that's me from viewer, that is me from listener emails. Thank you all so much for sending in your emails, 2020, we cannot wait to hear more from you, sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com, we are so excited to be giving you, to be with you for another year and to be giving you the news that can continue to alienate you, isolate you.

The news you can use. The news you can use if you want to get fired at the office. Make sure you check out page seven, Wisbrew Live, January 9th in Chicago, January 10th in Pontiac, Michigan, January 11th in Millie Wauke, Wisconsin, it's going to be really fun. And then guys, last podcast on the left, April 2020, last book tour on the left, check out last podcast on the left.com for all the dates, come to you, buy them ass tickets, they go, they are moving.

This is not just bullshit. The tickets, they are moving. So you get these tickets. Well, that is a little insider trick. If you ever see a performer be like, you better get tickets now, oh, they're selling fast. That means they're looking at the numbers and they're just like, they're not selling. And you've heard us say this before. Oh yeah.

No, and you'll hear us say it again. We've sold 40 and a 400 seater. They're selling out fast. Oh no. It's selling out so fast, we're going to start giving discounted tickets. That's how fast they're selling. That's how fast they're selling. They're shiving off the prices.

We're not there yet, but that's why you got to keep us from doing that. No, we really are. Thank you all so much. We've already bought tickets for the April tour. Really sweet. We're really actually selling fast. So please get your tickets. We are so excited to see you all there.

Check out hail yourself America as well. My documentary to hail yourself America.com fun little $5 journey into the political world. And of course, abling is top at 2020. My friend, we got a lot to talk about this year. Yeah, we do. My friend, we're going to have a lot of shit going on. And again, and Spotify, we will be exclusive February 14th fucking so start subscribing now.

It's fucking like Valentine's Day, right? You're right. You're very good. Isn't that you actually almost know holidays. It is sad. I don't like Valentine's Day. Well, it's a it's technically it's one of those made up holidays. Oh, okay.

People are forced to celebrate. All right. So live your life. Live your life according to the rules of fucking Gary Coleman, man. What is that? Fucking be the be the funnest night watchman you can be. Okay. If you are one laugh, laugh every day like those laughing yoga dudes look up the affluent

laughing yoga if you want to scream into your own fucking shirts. Okay. And then love love that feeling of a freshly washed but you get yourself a bidet and eat it a nice absolutely stay clean 2020. Hail yourselves everyone. Hail Satan. And we shall talk to you all very soon. See you for the rest of the year.

Fuckers. Can't wait. Hope everyone had a great holiday. 2020 is going to be the best. Yes. Goodbye. This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors, you can support our shows by supporting them.

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